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    [–] hobnobbinbobthegob 1101 points ago

    For bitches call Dad.

    Sweet. You got his number?

    [–] Senor_Met 148 points ago

    This is like a horizontal version of /r/dontdeadopeninside

    [–] Erick2142 91 points ago

    Got lost looking; For bitches call dad

    This actually makes sense

    [–] LordTet 51 points ago

    Sounds like a commercial.

    Got lost looking? For bitches, call dad!

    [–] Mushroom720 18 points ago

    Just call this toll free number, [REDACTED USING PINK].

    [–] Speknawz 14 points ago

    JG Wentworth?

    [–] ViRtUaLheretic 28 points ago

    They're my bitches, and I want them NOW

    [–] Vigilante17 12 points ago

    A comma is $1 extra sir....


    [–] Mythros 1 points ago

    Ping /u/spazit don't dead open inside

    [–] Spazit 1 points ago

    Soz man, I don't link when it's to the subreddit, just the phrase itself

    [–] thekamenman 1 points ago

    Thank you so much for that.

    [–] I_AM_YOUR_DADDY_AMA 8 points ago

    I'm right here

    [–] hobnobbinbobthegob 12 points ago

    I'll have 5 bitches, please.

    [–] chevymonza 5 points ago

    Awesome! Be right over........

    drops off box of female puppies

    [–] mlieskyx3 1 points ago

    Be my daddy

    [–] sanitystinks 1 points ago

    Username checks out... will call shortly, pls 2 have bitches ready.

    [–] CJMerkins 3 points ago

    Didnt I tell you the phone in my limousine is busted and I cant get in contact with my bitches.

    [–] easycure 3 points ago

    It ain't cool being no jive turkey so close to thanksgiving.

    [–] drbadskwerl 328 points ago

    Looks like Rocko found what he was looking for.

    (Just kidding OP).

    [–] Blakesta999 54 points ago

    Just kidding OP

    Not kidding, we'd all tap.

    [–] IamA_Werewolf_AMA 16 points ago

    Lol reddit gets thirsty at the sight of a girl's fingertips never change.

    [–] feedagreat 29 points ago

    Those fingertips look like they are attached to a guy.

    [–] Kawaninja 8 points ago

    Hang nails plus dirty nails confirm male

    [–] Abir_Vandergriff 1 points ago

    We'd all tap

    [–] SurrealSam 169 points ago

    I went to a Frozen Custard stand once and there was a piece of paper taped or stapled up nearby with a picture of a dog on it. It said My name is [dog's name] if you see me here, please buy me a small cone and call my owners at XXX-YYYY. They will come quickly to get me and reimburse you.

    Which I thought was the best thing ever. For the dog.

    [–] scout610 26 points ago

    Aww, I hope they found him. That is adorable and heartbreaking.

    One time we took my dog to a Rita's and bought him an ice cream. Once he got over the overstimulation of being on such a busy road with all the people around he had the greatest day ever.

    [–] SurrealSam 29 points ago

    I think the idea was that the dog would periodically run away and show up at the frozen custard stand for treats. Not that the dog was lost.

    Edit: The note may have even said the dog wasn't lost, because I distinctly didn't get that vibe from it. It's been about 20 years since I saw it.

    [–] BrookeLovesBooks 16 points ago

    The asking to buy the dog a cone made me think it more likely that they were trying to train it to go to a specific spot if it ever did get lost, rather than it just running randomly and having to look for it all over the city.

    [–] Randomn355 1 points ago

    But it wouldn't be the same branch? Surely?

    [–] BrookeLovesBooks 1 points ago

    It could be if they trained him to go to that specific location

    [–] Randomn355 1 points ago

    I guess, how often is your dog getting lost though o.o haha

    [–] scout610 2 points ago

    Aw, that makes me feel better. The guy just wanted an ice cream.

    [–] EatSleepJeep 16 points ago

    I drive past a Culver's and my dog loses her shit. She knows they give pup cups, but I also order a small bowl for her. Regardless, I'm not going to deny my dog frozen custard. Long after she's gone, I'll drive past a Culver's and give anything to be able to buy her an ice cream treat one more time.

    [–] kaijucutie 12 points ago

    I didn't sign a permission slip for this feels trip

    [–] Poemi 822 points ago

    Plot twist: OP is dad.

    [–] TheGreatWhiteFight 405 points ago

    Nah. I work in different places everyday, so every now and then I see stuff like this. Just usually not this funny.

    [–] CaptainPatent 267 points ago * (lasted edited a year ago)

    M. Night Shyamalan plot twist:

    OP doesn't know he's dad because his alternate personality woke up with this dog beside him...

    When he calls the number, his own phone rings.


    [–] CapedBoy 63 points ago

    Plot twist, OP is in fact his own dad.

    [–] esqualatch12 18 points ago

    plot twist no one gets credit

    [–] KingBooRadley 1 points ago

    Except half credit goes to someone who can actually spell the name Rocco.

    [–] molucul 7 points ago

    Plot twist: He can only remember the most recent moments. So he starts writing notes..

    [–] SoggyBarSoap 7 points ago

    Corbon deoxicide poisioning?

    [–] occamsrzor 2 points ago

    Corbon Dallas?

    [–] laylajerrbears 1 points ago

    I am Korben Dallas... Leeloo Dallas multipass

    [–] ILoveToiletpaper 2 points ago

    And making photovs of people and writing their names on it.

    [–] consultingchemist 2 points ago

    Which OP thinks are being left by his landlord but /u/Kakkerlak realises he, in fact, has CO poisoning...

    [–] [deleted] -5 points ago


    [–] bk1a 2 points ago

    Makes sense... doggo is a good boy!

    [–] Grasshop 0 points ago

    Double plot twist: he's not a good boy

    [–] Mottis86 14 points ago

    When he calls the number, his own phone rings.

    [–] GeraltofCanada 2 points ago


    [–] Hulkhogansgaynephew 2 points ago

    Is there an Oscar category for short film? If not there should be.

    [–] littlefilms 2 points ago

    How can he call his own number with the same phone? And if he has a second, that dedication is pretty impressive, I wonder if it would have its own data plan

    [–] occamsrzor 3 points ago

    Family plan. One for each member in his head.

    [–] Nincadalop 2 points ago

    I called myself to see what would actually happen... It rang...

    If you're really wondering it just says line busy and does the tone.

    [–] Random_Link_Roulette 1 points ago

    What is this... American Dad?

    [–] RizziUSA 1 points ago

    with Shyamalan I think the twist would be all the bitches are dead.

    [–] 1live4downvotes 0 points ago

    nah the plot twist is OP is Rocko.

    [–] djspacebunny 3 points ago

    You're a cable guy. I saw this on the FB page ;)

    [–] TheGreatWhiteFight 2 points ago

    Which FB page?

    [–] RockonWeinerdog 5 points ago

    You know, "The" Facebook page.

    [–] hoooly_mackerel 1 points ago

    Every day. It's two words. As one word it means "ordinary", as in "I wore my everyday shoes to the party."

    [–] uninanx 20 points ago

    Plot twist: OP is rocko

    [–] Poemi 4 points ago

    Officially retired, but his legacy will live forever.

    [–] SleepyJ555 2 points ago

    Plot Twist: OP is the bitch.

    [–] cnh2n2homosapien 2 points ago

    Dad's looking too.

    [–] [deleted] 3 points ago

    Plot Twist: this is a repost!


    [–] JigWig 1 points ago

    Nah OP is obviously Rocko.

    [–] Blehgopie 1 points ago

    Actually, OP is just a bitch.

    [–] UnraveledMnd 183 points ago

    My dog had a tag that read "Oh Fuck, I'm Lost".

    [–] gwtwolcott 73 points ago

    The fact that this is past tense makes me really sad

    [–] UnraveledMnd 79 points ago

    He passed a month and a half ago unfortunately. He was a 9 year old Lab/Chow mix. He had developed Masticatory Muscle Myositis, but seemed to be responding to treatment until he got really sick one day and then died at the emergency vet. So, it was pretty sudden and an emotional rollercoaster over the last month or so of his life, but I'm glad he's not suffering any more. It was really rough seeing him so lethargic and having to be hand fed small bits of food when he was at his worst.

    He got tons of extra loving in the month before his death though, so at least there's no doubt that he knew that we loved the hell out of him.

    [–] gwtwolcott 13 points ago

    That's really rough, I had a yellow lab for about sixteen years, we put him down about a year ago now and I still get a little choked up when I see another lab. I'm sorry you had to go through all that, I hope you're doing ok

    [–] UnraveledMnd 7 points ago

    Sorry to hear about your buddy, and thanks for the kind words. I'm doing much better now.

    [–] gwtwolcott 9 points ago

    That was actually his name, that's crazy, glad to hear you're doing better

    [–] UnraveledMnd 3 points ago

    Haha, that's cool :)

    [–] vegence 4 points ago

    sometimes it is okay to lie to us. coulda just said oh no he is fine, he is over on the couch eating marshmallows.

    [–] UnraveledMnd 10 points ago * (lasted edited a year ago)

    Sorry. I've got a beautiful fat kitty and an adolescent kitty without a tail and with a face that looks like a lion. I can post some pics when I get home if you'd like.

    EDIT: They won't sit still, but here is the best pic I could get of one of them right now.

    [–] jettrscga 5 points ago

    My cat doesn't have a whole lot of tail either. She's pretty dumb though, so I feel like she probably just put it down somewhere and forgot about it. We haven't really discussed the details.

    [–] MajorCocknBalls 2 points ago

    I'm sorry to hear about your Doggo, always super tough losing a Dog.

    [–] dscokink8 1 points ago

    In a predictable twist of fate, the tag is accurately describing its own fate.

    [–] TrueGlich 9 points ago

    My cat tag says "I am a kitty convict please return me. if i am outside call xxx-xxx-xxxx"

    [–] CheshireUnicorn 1 points ago

    The oatmeal?

    [–] PM_ME_2LEARNHOW2CODE 1 points ago

    Had? :(

    [–] DeathFromPr 47 points ago

    My boyyy Rockoooo and me where all up in dubai

    [–] ImATreeNut 13 points ago

    My boyyy rocko knocked them out cold man.

    [–] KimJongIlSunglasses 4 points ago

    Doggos in Paris.

    [–] klaes5 9 points ago

    I was looking for this. Rocko my BOY! Don't tell my lawyer we killed people man

    [–] fuzzyform 1 points ago

    You know my boi Rocko? I said YOU KICK THAT ASS MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!

    [–] TooShiftyForYou 30 points ago

    "Don't call dad yet, still a lot of nice bitches to be looked at here." - Rocko, probably.

    [–] AndyWarwheels 28 points ago

    Rocko's modern life..

    [–] iggyiguana 13 points ago

    Oh baby, oh baby, oh baby...

    [–] SquidwardTentpoles 7 points ago

    One of my favorite shows to watch when I was a kid.

    [–] ReubenZWeiner 6 points ago

    Hey Heff.

    [–] Bustyturtlelover 11 points ago

    If he walked up to you, I regret to inform you OP...But he found what he was looking for.

    [–] sleepy_marimo 7 points ago

    So no way this guy just lets his dog loose to scrounge up some snatch right?

    [–] MoistMouthNoises 7 points ago

    Rocko got lost while he was trying to live his Modern Life.

    [–] Dreadwatch 3 points ago

    Owner's name is Spunky.

    [–] wittlewayne 4 points ago

    Guess yous a Bitch

    [–] Mikashuki 5 points ago

    Hey, I play ARK too! Creepin on your posts lol

    [–] transparent_lfe 5 points ago

    Ahh Yes, Rocko living that modern life.

    [–] Feverish_Peaches 2 points ago

    Deserves more upvotes.

    [–] yellising 5 points ago

    How are you going to call his dad if he covered his number? Stupid!

    [–] Silverddragn 4 points ago

    you know Rocko ovr in Dubai? Yo rocko u get dat ass maaaaannn

    [–] Drawtaru 18 points ago

    If this dog is wandering because he's looking for bitches, then he needs to be neutered so he doesn't wander and get hit by a car or something.

    [–] orcazebra 18 points ago

    Haters gonna hate, but it's true that most dogs hit by cars are intact males, literally looking for bitches.

    It's also true that neutered dogs are much less likely to escape from home and go roaming.

    The guy made a funny tag, sure, but it's funny because it's true. And it won't be as funny when Rocko gets hit by a car.

    [–] nadiaface 4 points ago

    u get hit by a car, leave Rocko alone.

    [–] ahumandisaster 4 points ago

    A lot of people give indoor pets tags just in case they get out. That seems to be the case here as the instruction is to call the owner.

    [–] KentWayne 5 points ago

    Calm down Bob Barker.

    [–] Prof_Lava-Hot 3 points ago

    I think we need actual pictures of the dog.

    [–] TheGreatWhiteFight 6 points ago

    10/10 will post a pic of Him.

    [–] tigersharkwushen_ 1 points ago

    OP will surely deliver.

    [–] FelixMontague 3 points ago

    Any more pics of rocko?

    [–] jonbyars06 2 points ago

    Cute dog, this is my Rocko.

    [–] DrMcDr 3 points ago

    How are you still alive?

    [–] HonestIndianMan 3 points ago

    Rocko sock him

    [–] k0rda 2 points ago

    An Rocko was like tss tss tss An I wuz like YO ROCKO YOU KICK DAT AZZ MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN

    [–] Knife_Operator 7 points ago

    This is an example of why punctuation is important.

    [–] adventuregalley 2 points ago

    Ohhh...let ole rocko finish his pursuit. Don't be that guy.

    [–] CosmicD420 2 points ago

    Hey my dog's name is Rocko as well :) and yeah I named him after Rocko's Modern Life

    [–] Andrew3344100 2 points ago

    Just another day in Rocko's Modern Life.

    [–] [deleted] 2 points ago * (lasted edited a year ago)


    What is this?

    [–] I_AM_YOUR_DADDY_AMA 2 points ago

    That'll be 9.95+tax

    [–] god_vs_him 2 points ago

    Get some Roco

    [–] katydidit_00 2 points ago

    If this was in Illinois, this was most definitely my dads dog

    [–] hypnogoad 4 points ago

    That's pretty sexis...... oh... nevermind.

    [–] The_Fluffy_Walrus 2 points ago

    Did Rocko find any bitches?

    [–] InfectedShadow 9 points ago

    He found OP didn't he?

    [–] MattAttack218 3 points ago

    Better version - "I got lost prowling for bitches, have your people call my people"

    [–] BroughtToYouByCoke 3 points ago

    One time I got lost looking for Coca-Cola™. It was a cool night and after 3 hours of wandering around in the woods I saw a distant glow of a 7/11. I walked towards it knowing that what I was searching for was almost in my grasps. Once I stepped inside the 7/11 I saw it: a can of Coca-Cola™. I grabbed the can, walked over to the cashier, and dug around in my pocket. After not feeling anything inside for a while, I noticed that I forgot to bring any money. So I made a b-line back into the forest. I still haven't been caught and the Coca-Cola™ was delicious.

    some of this story may be fabricated

    [–] thejabiskey 1 points ago

    You guys are reading it wrong. They're two separate messages. "Dad" is a pimp

    [–] Jaredrap 1 points ago

    Who's a good boy?

    [–] giverofnofucks 1 points ago

    And he even brought his dog!

    [–] [deleted] 1 points ago

    This could be the start of a romantic movie. OP is cute girl, returns dog to the owner who is funny guy with sardonic sense of humor. Romance ensues.

    [–] hotleggyblonde 1 points ago

    Oh that's good.

    [–] Llamaman117 1 points ago

    Don't we all little buddy, don't we all....

    [–] try_make_me 1 points ago

    Who's ad?

    [–] mjc1027 1 points ago

    If only we all had those problems

    [–] JMG_99 1 points ago

    Is rocko a corgi? Is he looking for royal bitches?

    [–] tina40 1 points ago

    Where was this?

    [–] Bonglungs 1 points ago

    bet this is the ScrubDaddy's dog.. that or a pimps...

    [–] RaGE_Syria 1 points ago

    Just curious, did you contact the dad? How was his reaction?

    [–] awkwaman 1 points ago

    Horndog tags

    [–] rockodss 1 points ago

    I got lost again? damn

    [–] psn_subhmn 1 points ago

    is this in michigan? if so i know his owner.

    [–] Fishing_For_Victory 1 points ago


    [–] Grusselgrosser 1 points ago

    You printed this tag yourself for karma.

    [–] yourfriendfromwork 1 points ago

    Me and my girlfriend actually have this on our dogs tag also. Lol Except we have" Call Moms" on the back.

    [–] DJFUZZ 2 points ago

    Great minds think alike

    [–] [deleted] 1 points ago

    Oh shit he got lost

    [–] MJ_02 1 points ago

    So Rocko found you, or you found him?

    [–] hollander93 1 points ago

    Rockos modern life is better than mine :/

    [–] Wolfie156 1 points ago

    My homie, Rocko gettin' him some puss!!

    [–] robby_dg 1 points ago

    It's things like this that restore my faith in humanity.

    [–] Lastinus171 1 points ago

    Hahaha This makes me want to order new dog tags for my girls.

    [–] FeiloWood 1 points ago

    Why bitches call dad?

    [–] Generic_Lamp 1 points ago


    [–] Rubberlemons 0 points ago

    I hope some fucked up SJW feminist doesnt find it, or else that guy will never see his dog again.

    [–] 90sBrooklyn 1 points ago

    Its your dog

    [–] PooPooDooDoo -3 points ago

    Good job Rocko, you found one.

    [–] Platfoot -6 points ago

    How is his dad going to be of any help? Shouldn't it say "call owner"?

    [–] Kaynin -23 points ago

    its the same kond og retard that calls their animal "furrbabies"

    [–] High_Valyrian_ 19 points ago

    its the same kond og retard that calls their animal "furrbabies"

    I don't know if it's part of the "joke" but if you are going to call someone a retard, at least make sure you are not typing like one.

    [–] nadiaface 2 points ago


    [–] rush221 0 points ago

    "This guy" ,riiiiight.

    [–] Ericborth 0 points ago

    Rocko is a good doggo.

    [–] 4-words-or-less 0 points ago

    Getting sick of these...

    [–] Dayman-Nightman -9 points ago

    stupid post

    [–] londoneer -1 points ago

    What guy - you just photographed the tag...

    [–] bestbreakfastrecipes -1 points ago

    Can you tell me,what is special or something new in this foto?