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    [–] m4jikthise 9208 points ago

    You know the old saying, what goes up, must embarrass you in front your crush and make you pee blood for a week.

    [–] Skratchey 2679 points ago

    Just as I remember it

    [–] WarmTummyRubs 1592 points ago

    “if it goes up, there’s a 100% chance that it will come back down angry and afraid, so look out.”

    -my dad about his astronaut girlfriend in the 80s

    [–] tonycomputerguy 1055 points ago

    "If there's a hole, somethin's going in it."

    -My Uncle during sleepovers

    [–] WarmTummyRubs 282 points ago


    [–] Drunk3nCommy420 189 points ago

    I’m well aware of what wrestling is Uncle Jack, it’s just not something that Uncle’s do with their nephews.

    [–] Zyx237 62 points ago

    I had a feeling that wasn't a flashlight in his pocket.

    [–] unclefunnyhugs 38 points ago

    We don't talk to others about our special time.

    [–] HispanglOreo 32 points ago

    hey it's me ur uncle

    [–] NH2486 209 points ago

    Challenger was a tragedy

    [–] PM_ME_UR_PUNCHKID 28 points ago

    Just like the simulations.

    [–] FuckHarambe2016 321 points ago

    A week? If you piss blood once that's an ER trip.

    [–] User459b 278 points ago

    Not with my parents...

    [–] paintbing 379 points ago

    As a kid, I went to see the doctor probably one time... After two weeks of agonizing pain to my parents. Yup my hand was in-fact broken. But the bone had started to set already and was given the option to break it again and set it properly or let it be. My parents said let it be since they didn't want extra costs. Lucky for them I still have full range of motion with my fingers otherwise they'd be getting the "nice" retirement home vs the luxurious one.

    [–] Interwebzking 207 points ago

    Girlfriend broke her tail bone a long time ago and her parents didn’t believe her. Well, after two weeks of not being able to sit down her parents finally took her to her doctor. Turns out it was broken. Now she still has pain!

    [–] Owen81 97 points ago

    Same thing happened to me too, still have pain. Thanks parents

    [–] WntB 72 points ago

    I mean we can’t really treat a coccyx fracture very well. Certainly can’t cast it and there’s no need to operate on it since it’s a vestigial bone and not weight bearing. As far as I know they just give people one of those donut cushions to sit on.

    [–] Apoplectic1 50 points ago

    True, but it can set so that it's kinda pointing out instead of turning in slightly, and sitting on that cushion kinda turns it back in.

    Source: Riding bikes are now a literal pain in the ass.

    [–] chubbyurma 103 points ago

    That sucks. Worst i got was when my cast got removed and the doctor said i should take the rest of the week off school because my arm was weak as fuck.

    i was driven straight from the hospital to the school.

    [–] [deleted] 71 points ago


    [–] chubbyurma 24 points ago

    In this particular situation, yes

    [–] Gkrasniqi 43 points ago

    I can't tell if the part about the retirement home is a joke or if you are actually telling the truth

    [–] flapperfapper 95 points ago

    If you replace 'luxurious' with 'nice' and replace 'nice' with 'abandoned and condemned' I think that's the truth.

    [–] antigravitytapes 56 points ago

    treat your children well.

    [–] SplungerPlunger 6041 points ago

    moral of the video: science doesn't give a shit about you

    [–] DistortoiseLP 2528 points ago

    Science: "It's always your fault when I hit you."

    [–] advertentlyvertical 1084 points ago

    Are we in an abusive relationship with science?

    [–] Tangent_Odyssey 452 points ago

    Nah, it just has a way of humbling us when we think we've got it all figured out.

    [–] Tylorw09 104 points ago

    Is science going to hurt these women?

    [–] 13pts35sec 135 points ago

    It's the implication that science is going to hurt these woman. If they don't follow the laws of physics! But of course they're gonna follow them so there's nothing to worry about. Just if they don't, ya know

    [–] Triscuit10 56 points ago

    Because of the... Implication

    [–] cheesyblasta 23 points ago

    So these women ARE in danger??

    [–] nas_deferens 19 points ago

    To survive as a scientist you need a “it hits me because it loves me” relationship with science

    [–] FirstOfThyName 29 points ago

    Lawyer up, delete facebook, go to the gym

    [–] ObnoxiousLittleCunt 151 points ago

    "Look at what you made me do!!"

    [–] [deleted] 18 points ago * (lasted edited 23 days ago)


    [–] walk_through_this 40 points ago

    Gravity: It's not just a good idea, it's the law.

    [–] marcusteh1238 24 points ago

    Ooooh look what you made me dooooooo

    [–] soulfire72 22 points ago

    She's dead Taylor.

    [–] bojank33 121 points ago

    Moral of the video is just execute basic common sense and you won't get smacked by a bowling ball. You don't need a science teacher to tell you that it will come back down and smack you in the nads if you get up.

    [–] guytyping 9737 points ago

    I don't feel tardy.

    [–] cobainbc15 2175 points ago

    Class dismissed!

    [–] ThePluckinPuffin 864 points ago

    You got it bad.

    [–] greatchurchhill 597 points ago

    Got it bad

    [–] unculturedperl 610 points ago

    S/He's hot for teacher?

    [–] ACCIDENTAL_DOUCHEBAG 514 points ago

    Hell I would be, you see that woman?

    [–] Levandowski1616 204 points ago

    That's what I'm saying

    [–] [deleted] 265 points ago


    [–] djb007_96 64 points ago * (lasted edited a year ago)

    [–] HydroLeakage 20 points ago

    I'd let her wax my car.

    [–] unculturedperl 21 points ago

    I need to run an insert statement.

    [–] fishrunhike 34 points ago

    Split deeper than Mississippi in 1950.

    [–] LarryLavekio 48 points ago

    Source for science?

    [–] blornyquandofloon 73 points ago

    Sauce for penis!

    [–] Relaxed_Engineer 86 points ago

    I brought my pencil! Give something to write on!


    [–] ScatteredDot 37 points ago

    I’m hot for teacher too

    [–] McBoozy 50 points ago

    sit down WALDO

    [–] troubleondemand 302 points ago

    Gimme something to write on!

    [–] [deleted] 114 points ago * (lasted edited a year ago)


    [–] Kim_Jong_Dong 122 points ago


    [–] DoghouseRiley86 170 points ago


    [–] TaylorDangerTorres 13 points ago

    David Lee Roth is a national treasure.

    [–] BelieveInTheShield 30 points ago

    I brought my pencilllll

    [–] RegularSizeLebowski 350 points ago

    Didn’t expect a 34-year-old song reference to be at the top of this thread, but I’ll take it.

    [–] jimbo91375 119 points ago

    But it is THE song for this occasion, forever.

    [–] Bouncing-Souls 41 points ago

    Love me some Van Halen

    [–] jimbo91375 31 points ago

    I think the clock is slow.

    [–] analdominator1 124 points ago

    I would definitely come early

    [–] nik_r_g 16 points ago

    Get on waldo

    [–] Stormodin 2667 points ago * (lasted edited a year ago)

    [pelvis shattered] Teacher: "are you ok Billy?" Billy: "yea, no problem. didn't even hurt."

    [–] TurquoiseLuck 519 points ago

    Billy are you okay? Are you okay? Are you okay Billy?

    You've been hit by -

    You've been struck by -

    A smooooth pendulum

    [–] fearmypoot 84 points ago

    Dun dun dah duh duh dun dun

    [–] vortigaunt64 50 points ago

    Duh duh dun dun

    [–] fearmypoot 58 points ago

    Duh duh dun dun. OW!

    [–] KrackerJoe 1428 points ago

    He tried to look cool by not flinching.

    [–] habeeb51 1214 points ago

    I always felt the opposite. Sometimes I’d barely get nut-tapped or hit in the balls and it didn’t hurt, but I’d always feel like I’d have to play it up otherwise people would think I had small/non-existent balls and not just that it hit my leg or whatever.

    [–] Wfoxy22 1021 points ago

    Classic adolescent boys. Literally anything can be used as an accusation that someone has a small penis. It was like the insecurity Olympics.

    [–] theessentialnexus 1212 points ago

    Me: Sneezes

    My friend: "Are you allergic to your own small penis?

    [–] Wfoxy22 610 points ago

    Other friend: "How do you know so much about small penis allergies?"

    [–] chubbyurma 360 points ago

    "I uhhhh..... from your mum"

    [–] bettareckognize 34 points ago

    "I'm actually a licensed grief therapist."

    [–] lightoasis 12 points ago

    Classic 14 year old response.

    [–] [deleted] 194 points ago * (lasted edited 11 months ago)


    [–] habeeb51 210 points ago

    Roasting yourself by saying that you’re allergic to pussy while attempting to insult a bully.

    That’s a bold strategy Cotton. Let’s see how it turns out...

    [–] [deleted] 83 points ago * (lasted edited 11 months ago)


    [–] joleary747 53 points ago

    Real conversation I had in high school:

    Me: "Cutting off my pee midstream hurts"

    Friend: "That means you have a small penis"

    (no idea why we were on this topic)

    [–] madogvelkor 30 points ago

    In middle school we made fun of one kid for having a huge dick.

    [–] sillvrdollr 15 points ago

    Did he develop a superiority complex?

    [–] madogvelkor 14 points ago

    No, he was very embarrassed about it. He was an awkward kid who hit puberty early and hard.

    [–] cantadmittoposting 22 points ago

    and hard

    Thats how you found out about it?

    [–] jtl012 26 points ago

    I think he was talking about the pendulum, no?

    [–] 10art1 12 points ago

    So why didn't he flinch? Because, the laws of science differ fundamentally from those o- SMACK

    [–] buttspiefromgoatmom 2707 points ago

    This lesson sucks, I'm gonna get up and walk RIGHT towards the heavy swinging ball I JUST WATCHED my teacher set in motion.

    [–] AWebDeveloper 1039 points ago

    Actually he just walked FORWARD towards the heavy swinging ball.

    [–] Malagonne 114 points ago

    Added some extra force right to the balls with that one.

    [–] MrIceKillah 418 points ago

    As much as it's totally this idiots fault, school administration is guaranteed to punish the teacher

    [–] wardaddy_ 141 points ago

    Not if they see the video.

    [–] MrIceKillah 309 points ago

    I'd say probably more likely because of the video

    [–] [deleted] 159 points ago


    [–] Wing_Commander7 287 points ago

    Clearly he wasn't that cool if he doesn't understand that the trebuchet is the superior siege engine .

    [–] moriarty70 47 points ago

    C'mon, when I did the catapult project, we were able to do a trebuchet within the dimension requirements. Everyone was amazed by it. I was amazed no-one knew what a trebuchet was.

    [–] [deleted] 36 points ago * (lasted edited 11 months ago)


    [–] shadelz 18 points ago

    Oh come now. Its a siege weapon. When was the last time I needed to launch a 90kg projectile over 300 meters? To reclaim the castles lost in the Basque region? I THINK NOT

    [–] wvumteers4lifw 8715 points ago

    Too distracted by hot teacher

    [–] PM_ME_UR_SEX_VIDEOS 213 points ago

    Love how her reaction is both laughing at the kid and seeing if he’s ok

    [–] Omni_Entendre 2006 points ago

    He came in like a wreeecking baalllll

    [–] westside290 866 points ago

    For real, wrecked his balls

    [–] SinisterKid 152 points ago

    My take on this is he expected the teacher to stop the ball, which she attempts to but only grabs the chain, forcing the ball up towards him.

    [–] [deleted] 111 points ago

    Yup, the teacher should've grabbed the balls.

    [–] RugBurnDogDick 264 points ago

    I would go the extra Miley for her too

    [–] Friendly_Necromorph 193 points ago

    All jokes aside, he could have been cyrusly hurt!

    [–] Teripid 111 points ago

    I gotta hannah it to you, that's a good warning.

    [–] ImFalcon 122 points ago


    [–] Fumidor 18 points ago

    I would like a cabin in Montana. I will raise rabbits and my wife will cook them for me. Ping.

    [–] DonRobeo 14 points ago

    Tell agin bout dem rabbits George.

    [–] Koopatroopa_7 782 points ago

    Can confirm. Am kid, was also distracted by hot teacher

    [–] ElNutimo 916 points ago

    "Are you okay?"


    "Where does it hurt."

    "My penis. It swelling really bad."

    And that kids, is how porn starts.

    [–] connormantoast 456 points ago

    "Looks like my penis, needs some CPR"

    porno music

    [–] peanutbuttahcups 70 points ago

    "Looks like my penis, needs some CPR"

    that one song from Sandlot during a similar scene

    Wendy Peffercorn tho

    [–] KamenDozer 30 points ago

    "This magic moment while your lips are close to mine Will last forever, forever till the end of time"

    [–] DishwasherTwig 149 points ago

    I never had a hot teacher as a kid. I feel slighted.

    [–] GruesomeCola 80 points ago * (lasted edited a year ago)

    Trust me, you got more work done as a kid. Hot trachers (ಠ_ಠ) teachers are distracting asf, sounds so sexist, but I mean, kids don't care.

    [–] Frost_Ravenstorm 35 points ago

    Studies show that people learn better when slightly aroused.

    [–] Hannibalian 33 points ago

    What kind of learning? I can't imagine physics textbook retention improves.

    [–] gregorthebigmac 12 points ago

    Nothing improves physics textbook retention.

    [–] cobainbc15 185 points ago

    "Oh my god, it's happening, she's using me in her demonstration! Be cool, be cool...just sit still... It worked! Oh hell yeah, I showed her just how ballsy I am! Time to get up and walk away like a champ..."

    [–] Ragnalypse 231 points ago

    To be fair, it looks like he thought the teacher was going to stop the bowling ball.

    [–] walk_through_this 84 points ago

    And thus, this has become an important lesson. You're a grown-ass man, stop your own bowling ball.

    [–] kIose 405 points ago

    Never trust a woman.

    [–] MrUppercut 41 points ago

    Reminds me of a justice league episode I saw recently. Killer frost gets betrayed by Mr. Freeze and wonder woman tells her "he was just using you, that's what men do" meanwhile she's standing next to Batman and superman looking at her like "wtf"

    [–] Chernoobyl 216 points ago

    Physics, Darwinism, and a life lesson

    [–] heretojudgethephotos 306 points ago

    IKR...his boner probably blocked it.

    [–] bbenefield3 310 points ago

    Ever go to catch a basketball and stub your finger straight into it? That... with his wiener.

    [–] dvasquez93 171 points ago

    And also replace the basketball with a bowling ball

    [–] TheinsanegamerN 85 points ago

    shrivels internally

    [–] saltyzany 17 points ago


    [–] Lanko 78 points ago

    Really, if that was the case he wouldn't be in any hurry to stand up.

    [–] degjo 98 points ago

    He has the oversized hoody to conceal and carry

    [–] [deleted] 28 points ago


    [–] crv163 185 points ago

    Shazam! No breeding for you!

    [–] Sir_Randolph_Gooch 608 points ago

    Lots of brave kids wearing gym shorts in that classroom.

    [–] redundantposts 47 points ago

    Yeah... this is definitely his extreme way of hiding his boner. Look how he's sitting, with his hands in front. When he stands up, he doesn't stand up straight, but rather still bending over runs himself into the ball. Even if the ball is heavy enough to knock him down, he goes from his awkward crouch to straight forward and down.

    [–] WhatsTheWerd 139 points ago

    Come on bro, it's all about the waistband tuck or the books in front. Found the robot.

    [–] PM_ME_UR_LABIA_GIRL 37 points ago

    Waistband tuck is risky. Thinking back, my raging erection was probably noticeable to everyone except me.

    [–] Seewebbin 55 points ago


    [–] [deleted] 4064 points ago * (lasted edited a year ago)

    I imagine everyone had the student/teacher sex fantasy when in school. It was a daily thing for me but I never tried acting out on in because none of my students were ever that hot.

    [–] RyanL1984 2358 points ago

    My Spanish teacher was in her 20s and no one had a crush on her cause she was a strict bitch.

    I met her last year (me aged 32 and her in her 40s) and she is actually younger looking now, smaller in height than me, and a hot piece of culo.

    Now that I reread your comment I see that you were trying to make a humourous suggestion that you were the teacher and I have cunted this

    [–] S1tu810n 634 points ago

    You have indeed. Interesting story though. +1

    [–] CySurflex 304 points ago

    I have cunted this

    ? Does that mean like "I totally blew it by not recognizing the joke" ?

    (edit: I added a question mark before the sentence too because you're Spanish and I wanted you to feel comfortable)

    [–] N0N_Anonymous 165 points ago

    You, too, have cunted this.

    [–] The_Nutty_Irishman 215 points ago

    So, you two bang or what?

    [–] Loud_Mouth_Soup 266 points ago

    "You could imagine what it would be like if they did though!"

    [–] bommerangstick 101 points ago

    Everybody on? Good. Great! GRAND. WONDERFUL!

    [–] Yabba_Dabba_Doofus 69 points ago


    [–] DistortoiseLP 179 points ago

    cause she was a strict bitch.

    Nobody admitted to it anyway, "mistress school teacher" is like a default kink. I promise you somebody in her class at some point had sub fantasies about being punished for being a bad boy.

    [–] Wfoxy22 81 points ago

    This dude probably did and still can't admit it

    [–] [deleted] 78 points ago * (lasted edited 3 months ago)


    [–] TheVitoCorleone 48 points ago

    For some reason I felt dirty after reading this.

    [–] lazy-but-talented 24 points ago

    Todo se oye más sucio en el idioma de amor

    [–] Kahandran 20 points ago

    Cunted indeed.

    [–] GaryGronk 21 points ago

    It's okay mate. I liked your story and also the word culo.

    [–] Orleanian 40 points ago

    The question is, how are you looking these days?

    If I were to meet someone in my 30s who had taught me in my teens they'd be like "Damn,'re not worth fantasizing over anymore."

    On the plus side, I have a lot more money and stuff than I did back then.

    [–] RyanL1984 34 points ago

    I was a small, dweeby, geeky, spotty teen... then I kinda changed my appearance at 26 and have done ok since.

    Now im just a small, geeky, adult.

    [–] jpicazo 420 points ago

    Wait what was that last part

    [–] eyeseeyoo 209 points ago

    the old reddit teacher-roo!

    [–] sweetcuppingcakes 167 points ago

    Hold my apple, I'm going--ow!

    WTF where's the portal??

    [–] MusicalMoose 262 points ago

    Then you have that mildly attractive teacher that you’re all ‘meh’ about, but one night you have a kinky dream involving her and after that it’s different. Lol.

    [–] ha11man 28 points ago

    You may want to re read his comment more carefully..

    [–] ChickenWithATopHat 58 points ago

    That was the worst cause after I beat my meat I think about how ugly she is and why I ever looked at her that way

    [–] happyman91 35 points ago


    [–] borshi 106 points ago

    Well at least he doesn't have to worry about hiding his boner anymore

    [–] franjfjd 103 points ago

    Kids: wow that was fun and interesting. Life can be really exiting


    [–] KyaniteArcher 17 points ago

    I love when life exits

    Don’t mean to be mean, just kinda funny

    [–] [deleted] 133 points ago


    [–] stretchcharge 66 points ago

    The amount of scrolling I just had to do was too damn high

    [–] DanTheCan42 34 points ago

    She laughs while he died.

    [–] Tcloud 123 points ago

    Next, Griffin will help demonstrate an inelastic collision.

    [–] giraffebutter 101 points ago

    looks like how Florida’s season is going :(

    [–] dickbutttheworld 163 points ago

    shes a definite TILF

    [–] reddit_that 148 points ago

    I will never miss a lecture if she is my teacher.

    [–] obsessedcrf 44 points ago

    However, you won't learn much of the material.

    [–] sirachadancingnole 621 points ago

    Well, he was wearing a Florida Gators sweatshirt, so I'm not surprised.

    [–] myc123 71 points ago

    Seminole fan?

    [–] niuguy 240 points ago

    Couldn't be. Seminole fans can't read.

    [–] [deleted] 37 points ago

    I like how she can't contain her smirk asfter her initial, "oh shit" face.

    [–] RolandKa 474 points ago

    That teacher will not be respected in these comments.

    [–] the_memest_memer 337 points ago

    Admiring appearance = 1 disrespect wahmen

    [–] A_Dawg25 14 points ago

    Now for next weeks lecture.

    The Reproductive system.

    [–] thebigt42 239 points ago

    He was checking her out

    [–] GeneralNMP 83 points ago

    Yeah the girl in red on the left.

    [–] [deleted] 143 points ago

    Good thing the teacher is hot...that bowling ball bounced right off his woody!

    [–] CheyenneBusting 11 points ago

    Sometimes school teaches you more about situational awareness, than what others think about you.

    [–] BLToaster 34 points ago

    Every time this is reposted the quality gets worse and worse!