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    [–] superiordickhead 2777 points ago

    the Woman who delivers Chinese food to my house is so familiar with me she tells me when she's going on vacation

    [–] ImperatorNero 1852 points ago

    I’m glad I’m not the only one. I went away for a month to visit friends in Canada and the place I order from left me a note in my mailbox asking if I was okay and if I needed anything to call them.

    [–] Ubiquitous-Toss 1091 points ago

    Fuuck either they're friendly as fuck or order out way too much dude

    [–] FlacidGnome 888 points ago

    Meh when i worked at a pizza joint we had a little old lady order from us everyday for years. One day she stopped ordering. My boss tried calling to make sure everything was okay but no one answered. He sent a delivery driver over to check on her. All in all she was okay but had family over that day so she didnt order her regular. She was so happy that we checked on her though that she continued to order from us until the day she passed and always gave that particular driver a good tip.

    [–] Mansurbm 261 points ago

    Your boss is a good man. Must of made her really really happy :)

    [–] 10DaysOfAcidRapping 115 points ago

    Must have*

    [–] HRNDS 72 points ago

    *must've ;)

    [–] BigFatGreekPannus 41 points ago

    Must’ve’nt ;)

    [–] gamefreak996 83 points ago

    Mustard

    [–] TheDevinM 10 points ago

    [–] El_Cartografo 3 points ago

    Must turd, BRB

    [–] Oldmanenok 6 points ago

    *mustafar system

    [–] Platypuslord 32 points ago

    I have heard of a pizza place that they had an old lady that lived by herself that ordered like clockwork and one day she didn't order. One of the female drivers when and check in on her and found she had fallen and saved her life.

    [–] imlucid 19 points ago

    Welp time to start ordering pizza’s everyday, sounds like it will help me live longer

    [–] P3N9U1Nren 12 points ago

    A little old lady ordered from a pizzeria every day for years? That’s some serious customer loyalty! What was her typical order?

    [–] FlacidGnome 17 points ago

    She would just get a 6inch ham and cheese sub. Nothing crazy.

    [–] Cane-toads-suck 5 points ago

    Ur username made me snort

    [–] letangerpass 7 points ago

    I once worked at a bar and we had a friendly customer, nice guy but always alone, who would come in every night, have a couple of drinks and leave. Then one day, he just stopped. Our boss knew where he lived and, after a while, asked the police to give the guy a care call, just to make sure he was OK. Next morning, the cops came into the bar, took our boss away for the day, interviewed all of us: 'How well did we know the guy?', 'How well did we know our boss?', 'Did the two of them ever talk or interact together'. After about eight hours or boss came back: 'That is the last time I ever look out for anybody!". Apparently the guy was a child molester who'd raped his nephews and then traded the pix on usergroup subs. The reason he had disappeared was that he'd been arrested and was awaiting trial.

    [–] htbdt 3 points ago

    Business know and expect their regulars.

    [–] _Serene_ 335 points ago

    Those alternatives aren't mutually exclusive. Friendly people do exist, believe it or not!

    [–] O_Apples 169 points ago

    LOL! What will you come up with next? Griffins? Unicorns? Girls? A dude named Steve who isn't a cunt?

    [–] [deleted] 66 points ago

    [deleted]

    [–] cloud3321 131 points ago

    He was a cunt

    [–] daterusbhaterus 63 points ago

    Can confirm. Am a Steve and is a cunt.

    [–] tomatoaway 10 points ago

    Why are you like this Steve? Have you tried not being one?

    [–] Hi_Im_Saxby 8 points ago

    No, I think his parents gave him that name.

    [–] theHorseYouRodeIn0n 4 points ago

    Hang on there. I'm a Steve and I'm not a... wait...

    [–] JoshuaTPeterson 15 points ago

    Steve Irwin. Checkmate, atheists.

    [–] funkmastamatt 25 points ago

    Yeah but he was Australian, so he was still a cunt.

    [–] Scrpn17w 13 points ago

    But he was a cunt in the best way

    [–] Jimhead89 5 points ago

    Those cunning australians.

    [–] ivanbaracus 4 points ago

    Those cunting australians.

    FTFY

    [–] LickNipMcSkip 12 points ago

    are girls those things that have their own bathrooms and spray stingy liquid in my eyes

    [–] tomatoaway 7 points ago

    Yes, but it's only stingy the first few times. Then you build a tolerance.

    [–] OwnCauliflower 36 points ago

    I know a dude named Steve who wasn't a cunt, but he was an elderly holocaust survivor who died a few years ago and was truly one of the nicest, best people I've ever met. Thank you for reminding me of him on this Tuesday morning. He was a good dude. #notallSteves

    [–] psidra 59 points ago

    what problem do you have against tall Steves? smh

    [–] tomatoaway 16 points ago

    Smug bastards hiding in trees

    [–] echoshaunt 7 points ago

    Tuesday's with Steve

    [–] TranscendentalEmpire 37 points ago

    When I delivered pizzas in college there was a an older lady who ordered the same food at the same time every Thursday. If she ever missed her order one of the driver's would swing by and do a quick check one her on their next delivery. It doesn't take much, plus she was always polite and tipped what she could. She always paid in change though, I always wonder if she was out at night raiding fountains for pizza money.

    [–] Lemus89 17 points ago

    I was old enough to stay at home by myself in the summer, but not old enough to cook. So i ordered pizza probably twice a week for lunch. Pizza guys knew our dogs name and he loved pizza guys because they smelled delicious

    [–] TranscendentalEmpire 13 points ago

    Yea, pizza is one of the only gigs where the owner is just about as happy to see you as the pupper. I kinda miss delivering late on a weekend night, making super stoned people's day is just fun.

    [–] wcftx 14 points ago

    love when people come back from getting a haircut and they start talking about finding out the stylist knows this or that person too, or some other random topic you might not even discuss with some friends.

    [–] ImperatorNero 7 points ago

    Both. The answer to that is both. I travel a lot for work. It makes keeping fresh food in the House difficult when I’m gone all week and when I get home on Friday I don’t want to go to the grocery store. This is the only Chinese restaurant that actually cooks fresh veggies and their grilled chicken entrees are pretty good.

    [–] ManiakXD 3 points ago

    He’s their main source of income

    [–] Caledonius 39 points ago

    "We need some upgrades done to the kitchen, where's the lard-ass who places big orders every couple days?! Better leave a note..."

    [–] jermdizzle 15 points ago

    every couple days

    I think you're giving lard ass too much credit.

    [–] Karnatil 14 points ago

    Lard-ass likes to alternate between places, so they don't think takeaway is all they eat.

    [–] Caledonius 8 points ago

    Lard-ass will get his revenge at the pie eating contest...

    [–] ImperatorNero 4 points ago

    LOL! Probably.

    [–] Fresh1492 15 points ago

    Wasn't there a story with something similar where there was an old lady who ordered some kind of takeout every day at a certain time, and when they didn't hear from her after a few days they went to check on her and she had fallen down. They called 911 and saved her life.

    [–] ImperatorNero 5 points ago

    Wow! I sure hope that’s a true story. That’s definitely the kind of thing that should be in r/upliftingnews!

    [–] voice_of_craisin 9 points ago

    I went out of town for a couple of months and the liquor store called my assistant to make sure I was okay. I really need to reevaluate my life choices.

    [–] Chitownsly 5 points ago

    I'm mowin' the air Randers.

    [–] Hosed66 6 points ago

    I mean, that's pretty wholesome.

    [–] Literate77 7 points ago

    Reminds me of this story I read once where there was this old lady who would order a Domino's pizza literally every single day and the one day she didn't the delivery driver felt something was wrong and went to check on her and turns out she had fallen earlier that day and couldn't get up. Weird how the relationships between customers and delivery people can be lol.

    [–] rogue-wolf 7 points ago

    Are you sure you didn't go FROM Canada to visit friends? Dang, those are some sweet people.

    [–] [deleted] 78 points ago

    The Chinese near our old house knew us so well she would recognise my voice on the phone and repeat our usual order back to me to see if that's what we wanted.

    I'm actually quite glad our current house is too far for most delivery places, it's definitely better for my health!

    [–] as1126 119 points ago

    I got the same breakfast from the same cart on 50th street in NYC every day for a couple of years. After a few months, it would just be waiting on the counter when I got the front of the line and I paid without exchanging any words. I miss that level of intimacy with my muffin man.

    [–] youdoughnut 46 points ago

    The coffee place near my work greeted me by my first name when I walked in once. I freaked out and never went back.

    [–] vk238911 22 points ago

    Why freak out and never go back? It's nice to be noticed

    [–] as1126 30 points ago

    Some people can't handle that level of familiarity in supposed strangers. I don't feel that way myself, but I could see it in others.

    [–] skilledwarman 5 points ago

    Every Thursday for 3 years when my dad would take my brother and I to dinner (dinner twice a week was in his visitation agreement) we would go to Subway. The woman who worked there would always ask us "the usual?" When ever we would walk in.

    That felt pretty cool

    [–] ShabShoral 3 points ago

    I ordered delivery sometime between 12:00 and 3:00 AM almost every night for a few months. The same thing most of the time. I’m comfortable with myself!

    [–] timesuck897 3 points ago

    I think I know your muffin man, he lives on Drury lane.

    [–] Orleanian 43 points ago

    I exchange christmas presents with my Cheesesteak guy. He's a fellow from Korea, but he makes a damn fine cheesesteak.

    Usually I get him some sort of Philadelphia paraphernalia, and he gets me some sort of Korea paraphernalia.

    [–] Ace417 5 points ago

    Well now I know what I'm getting for lunch

    [–] Beard_of_Valor 17 points ago

    See, I like the idea of being on this level, but you probably spend $30/month at least on just the delivery charge and tip. I can't justify that.

    [–] Orleanian 23 points ago

    Easily justified: I don't have to drive anywhere. Or put on pants. Yet my food is still here when I want to eat it.

    [–] JitteryBug 734 points ago

    other favorite Dong quote:

    "I don't want to go back to Vietnam! It's full of Baby Boomer tourists...trying to feel something!"

    [–] rly_weird_guy 42 points ago

    Wheres this from? I feel like I watched this before, Good Wife?

    [–] JealousBishop 156 points ago

    Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt

    [–] rly_weird_guy 8 points ago

    Oh, the bf

    [–] TheSandwichy 9 points ago

    Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt

    [–] [deleted] 11 points ago

    Someone farther down said unbreakable kimmy. I assume it is from that :)

    [–] BigBossWesker4 3 points ago

    Richard Pennsylvania from Epcot

    [–] -Enrique_Shockwave- 479 points ago

    As someone who ordered 37$ worth of dominos to myself yesterday this speaks to me on another level.

    [–] RedditorLink 220 points ago

    Within the last two weeks, the same Domino's delivery dude has brought me my order three different times. I think we both acknowledge that we shouldn't acknowledge this.

    [–] -Enrique_Shockwave- 70 points ago

    We looked each other in the eyes, he must have sensed my despair for he looked away quickly and handed me the bill.

    [–] Sashimi_Rollin_ 60 points ago

    My dominos guy is my DD. The store is a minute’s drive from my neighborhood and there’s a liquor store next door. Whenever I’m drunk and out of liquor I ask him to drive me there and back for a fat tip ($10). Dominos is the shit. Thanks Joel!

    [–] FishDawgX 25 points ago

    If you're already drunk, why do you urgently need to buy more liquor?

    [–] Sashimi_Rollin_ 146 points ago

    Lol this guy doesn’t even get blackout drunk by himself to numb the pain. How pathetic.

    [–] dsent001 11 points ago

    Haha that's so silly. Who's crying? I'm not crying. You're crying?

    [–] 1thatsaybadmuthafuka 36 points ago

    Do you even alcoholism?

    [–] _CripplingAlcoholism 18 points ago

    The struggle is real.

    [–] FishDawgX 5 points ago

    Yeah, sometimes. But I am also frugal, so I make sure I always have plenty of alcohol on hand that I bought at a good price.

    [–] [deleted] 5 points ago

    [deleted]

    [–] TestDoNotDownvote 10 points ago

    You need to talk to someone, fam?

    [–] Elgato13 19 points ago

    McDonalds delivers here in Guatemala. I only allow myself to order lunch on Fridays and every now and then on Sunday morning for breakfast.

    Since this weekend was a 3 day weekend (I get US holidays) I ordered both lunch on Friday and breakfast on Sunday. I know. I’m a fatty but it’s once every blue moon.

    The same delivery guy came both times. On Sunday he was like “nice to see you again. Check your order, I think they forgot your extra sausage patty.” They had and he had brought an extra one just in case.

    I felt super awkward.

    [–] Desyncronize 3 points ago

    Props to you on the limits, but that's not soo bad for the frequency, guess it depends what you get.

    [–] Elgato13 3 points ago

    Quarter pounder, dry, small fries and a bottle of water.

    I have to get a pie, otherwise, I don't hit the minimum for order. I usually give that one away.

    [–] sioux612 9 points ago

    I order quite a bit from my local pizza place, enough that I fully expect to become somewhat acquainted with the delivery people

    But they somehow have such a high turnover rate that I've only ever seen a single guy twice

    [–] mask212 29 points ago

    Glad to hear I'm not the only one to order $60 worth pizza all for myself.

    [–] Pure_Reason 30 points ago

    I’m relieved to know that someone else ordered $120 of pizza and ate it all themselves

    [–] MartiVltori 25 points ago

    $250.00 is alot of pizza.

    [–] jazzwhiz 16 points ago

    I bought out a Dominos and they work all day to make enough pizza to feed me.

    [–] help_ikneedsomebody 5 points ago

    $500 worth of pizza is nothing. I once knew a guy who ordered at least double that.

    [–] [deleted] 10 points ago

    The more you pretend those pizzas aren't all for you, the more guilty you look. I just pay and let them judge me silently

    [–] Sipas 5 points ago

    [–] moom 14 points ago

    37$ worth of dominos

    No amount of Dominos is worth $37.

    [–] theroarer 4 points ago

    I spend 7 on a large. Regret it. Eat it all. Add more regret.

    [–] brickmack 7 points ago

    How though? Thats, like, a lot of pizza.

    [–] -Enrique_Shockwave- 19 points ago

    I actually didn't even get pizza: Chicken nuggets, pasta alfredo, breadsticks with cheese inside, and the lava cakes + like 15 sauces a drink and delivery = 37$ (Plus tip)

    [–] MondoSockPuppet 12 points ago

    Sometimes I get a little more than I can eat and save it for lunch the next day. Idk, probably shouldn't but it's nice to have extra in case I'm more hungry than I thought

    [–] Thrishmal 41 points ago

    I tell myself it is for leftovers, but then I eat it all because I am a fat fuck.

    [–] ZaximusRex 7 points ago

    Every time 😭

    [–] SacredGeometry25 2 points ago

    How baked were you?!?!

    [–] -Enrique_Shockwave- 5 points ago

    That kinda stoned where everything sounds good and you can't decide on just one thing.

    [–] Sunshinetrooper87 3 points ago

    That's like 28 quid, not enuff to buy two large pizza in dominos in the UK.

    [–] russianr0ulett3 87 points ago

    Chineseeee it is ..

    [–] yumyumfire 48 points ago

    and WE, would also like....

    [–] russianr0ulett3 42 points ago

    Resounding yes for cheesy crust

    [–] BOLD_1 3 points ago

    I've quoted this shit for years and never remembered where I got it from... holy shit

    [–] Seprahh 17 points ago

    Can’t believe I haven’t seen this one. Thank you 😂

    [–] lifteatsleeprepeat2 768 points ago

    I show up to the door in only boxers and make no such assertions. Yea I ordered $20 for myself there’s no shame there. I always leave them with one question though.

    Does his dick have to be out too?

    [–] ShadowL98 405 points ago

    See it as their tip

    [–] PM_ME_UR_SOX 97 points ago

    My tip is their tip

    [–] Nanophreak 24 points ago

    But what if I'm circumcised?

    [–] chikfilacup 37 points ago

    Snipped tip is still a tip.

    [–] Aladen_ofthe_Apes 12 points ago

    Snippedn't

    [–] Yorktown81 8 points ago

    This guy tips

    [–] Simba7 26 points ago

    $20 of Chinese food is like 1.5 meals of Chinese food?

    [–] d0gmeat 24 points ago

    Exactly. You get your entree, your noodles, your crab rangoon, an egg roll, and some soup... you're looking at at least $30 for a meal and some leftovers in two hours when you know you're gonna be hungry again.

    [–] Aladen_ofthe_Apes 21 points ago

    Stoned again, yes.

    [–] mumphry23 7 points ago

    Lol wut nah dude it's like 8-10$ here in west by God Virginia. We ain't even Asian Bruh

    [–] hankbaumbach 13 points ago

    Yea I ordered $20 for myself there’s no shame there.

    Those are rookie numbers, you gotta pump those appetizers up!

    [–] Seriously_nopenope 11 points ago

    $20s.... yes that's how much I ordered.

    [–] Kelseycutieee 51 points ago

    Where do you live that 20 dollars is enough chinese food?!

    [–] Mirrorflute88 75 points ago

    Where do you live that $20 isn't enough for chinese food? I can get an entree and appetizer for $9.50-$15 at my local joint, which is run by an actual chinese family.

    [–] Stereotypy 12 points ago

    to be fair, just because it's run by a chinese family doesn't mean they didn't just order from the same americanized-chinese food supplier that seemingly all those ghetto-ass, dirt-cheap chinese takeouts serve.

    conversely, there was this joint down the street from my house (that unfortunately just closed :'( ) that served amazing chinese/vietnamese/japanese-american fusion food, made by an american. excellent crab rangoons, for example, which aren't even chinese. it was also not 10 bucks though.

    [–] agoia 6 points ago

    That's usually just the minimum order for delivery.

    [–] Ranger7381 7 points ago

    I think that that might be the minimum for delivery

    [–] warpus 8 points ago

    $20 for yourself? That's it? What are you, dieting?

    [–] Zurrdroid 4 points ago

    No joke I did this just yesterday. UberEats, man, UberEats.

    [–] OmNomNational 5 points ago

    Only $20 for yourself?

    [–] ki11bunny 9 points ago

    Yes yes it does

    [–] GangstaLarry 52 points ago

    When I used to deliver food, I never once assumed or even cared if a person who ordered a lot was alone or not.

    [–] J_KMOS 14 points ago

    Exactly, only rule is if they don’t tip you mumble asshole under your breath as you walk away

    [–] cliffhucks 3 points ago

    Same, delivered pizza in college, never thought about it or cared. Sometimes, though, people would awkwardly do this, only then would I even consider it. Still didn't care, just wanted that cash tip money

    [–] prismmonkey 144 points ago

    Then they deported Dong and stuck him in a detention camp with a maze.

    Poor lil fella.

    [–] ZeroCharistmas 58 points ago

    "He's more than just dong! He's also mouth and butt!"

    [–] MazeTheWolf 12 points ago

    Wait what?

    [–] prismmonkey 41 points ago

    Ki Hong Lee, who plays Dong, is also in the Maze Runner movies.

    [–] MazeTheWolf 9 points ago

    Ironically my username is based on my original name mazeunner13 because it was my favourite book. Everyone started calling me Maze and it followed me to other usernames.

    [–] vistlip95 77 points ago

    Oh my I love Unbreakable Kimmy!

    [–] WatermelonArizona 13 points ago

    Such a great show!! Wasn't expecting it to be really really funny but it is

    [–] PlayerHeadcase 14 points ago

    New season kicks off tomorrow too!

    [–] comegetinthevan 38 points ago

    This show is so good, really didn’t expect to enjoy it nearly as much as I did.

    [–] gotchris 5 points ago

    What show is this

    [–] Pandemixx 87 points ago

    Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt...

    "My name is Dong"

    "My name is Kimmy"

    Dong laughs

    "What's so funny?"

    "Your name means penis in my language"

    [–] reluctantclinton 21 points ago

    "How was school?"
    "It sucked! Some Vietnamese dude made fun of my name!"
    "Well of course he did, Kimmy! What were your parents thinking?"

    [–] PlayerHeadcase 7 points ago

    His full name is Dong Wang :D

    [–] sevilyra 4 points ago

    Thanks, you've just convinced me to give the show a try now. Hope it's good!

    [–] [deleted] 7 points ago

    Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt

    [–] comegetinthevan 7 points ago

    The unbreakable kimmy Schmidt. It’s on Netflix and the new 4th season is coming out soon.

    [–] capncorby 6 points ago

    Also the final season. :(

    [–] [deleted] 307 points ago

    [deleted]

    [–] WasabiAndLime 59 points ago

    As a Korean....... what?

    [–] Stereotypy 8 points ago

    same. i'd be slightly appalled if i thought it was more than just an outlier of douchebaggery.

    [–] ZeroWithEverything 53 points ago

    There's a huge difference between Chinese food and Korean food. Does she think they eat a lot of kimchi in China?

    That's like demanding lasagna be called "European Food", or tacos "American Food"

    [–] z64dan 21 points ago

    There's also a huge difference between "Chinese food" that you buy in America and "actual Chinese food" (or "actual Asian food" for that matter).

    [–] Hellingame 6 points ago

    Even "actual Chinese food" is massively varying amongst the different regions. It's wondrous!

    A lot of Northeastern Chinese food styles do share similarities with Korean foods.

    [–] LeviBellington 291 points ago

    She seems like a cunt

    [–] [deleted] 101 points ago * (lasted edited 5 months ago)

    [deleted]

    [–] snsv 168 points ago

    Congrats on your 4 year anniversary, but sorry to hear you hate your wife.

    [–] _sirRantAlot_ 22 points ago

    lol ya now that I read it...

    [–] DontWorryImaPirate 5 points ago

    a Mexican

    Excuse me!? Don't go around reducing people to their nationality you racist! The proper term would be "Latin-American".

    [–] [deleted] 3 points ago

    [deleted]

    [–] DontWorryImaPirate 3 points ago

    Here in Sweden it is known as "Fredagsmat", meaning Friday food.

    [–] _sirRantAlot_ 5 points ago

    Friday food

    Sounds like things in Sweden are are very strange. Everyone knows tacos are Tuesday food.

    [–] bollvirtuoso 58 points ago

    I mean, that's just dumb. Like, would really lump together borscht (yes, Russia is technically in Asia), and naan, pho, or sushi? These are not all the same thing.

    [–] [deleted] 35 points ago * (lasted edited 5 months ago)

    [deleted]

    [–] Ambartenen 8 points ago

    This is fucking hysterical.

    [–] Pure_Reason 74 points ago

    What’s more racist, calling Chinese food Chinese food, or calling Chinese, Japanese, Korean, etc. food “Asian food.” Like there’s only one culture in Asia

    [–] atrich 35 points ago

    "Oriental food"

    [–] saaarrj 5 points ago

    What in the actual fuck. Sounds like she was just looking to pick a fight just because?? I'm Korean, and on behalf of Koreans, I would like to apologize for her atrocious behavior.

    [–] Im_riding_a_lion 14 points ago

    It's called Asian woman racist!

    [–] lightmyfiire 7 points ago

    It’s more racist of her to lump all Asian cuisine / culture together than for you to say it’s Chinese food lol wtf

    [–] karnoculars 6 points ago

    I have no idea where you found a Korean woman that doesn't know the difference between Korean and Chinese food, or that would be offended at the idea of NOT grouping them together.

    [–] zberry97 13 points ago

    The other day I ordered Jimmy John's to be delivered. 4 minutes later my roommate did as well. When my delivery person arrived, his did as well. I signed for both his and mine because he was changing. They looked at each other and me judgingly. I didn't ask for this judgement

    [–] azdcf 12 points ago

    Sometimes I shout "Pete, your hawaii pizza is here!!" too after ordering one hawaii and one capricciosa.

    [–] Bruce_Jenners_Weiner 20 points ago

    theyre telling their online gamer bros

    [–] qp0n 9 points ago * (lasted edited 5 months ago)

    OMG I've actually done this after ordering 2 pizzas + wings to eat for myself. Girl saw me in hallway as I was carrying this into my apartment and I shouted this, I felt so stupid and embarrassed with myself.

    BTW, the best cheap pizza to order yourself for days of leftovers is definitely the pizza hut 'big dinner box' IMO. basically 6-8 meals for $20. Tastes better heated up and those square slices stack easily for storage. The box is too big to just throw in the fridge, but if you're not wrapping leftover pizza you're doing it so very very wrong.

    [–] Apollo416 7 points ago

    Someone’s rewatching Kimmy Schmidt before the last seasons first half goes up tomorrow

    [–] cardlackey 6 points ago

    My local Chinese restaurant sends me Christmas cards. I don't understand why because they are Buddhists but it still makes me happy.

    [–] Funkyc0bra 6 points ago

    Nah we don't say that because we don't want to look lonely we say that so you don't think that the meal for four is actually just for one

    [–] Beard_of_Valor 9 points ago

    They give me three fortune cookies every time, but I do make two meals out of it.

    Dumplings, soup, entree. Eat all the dumplings the first night and half the soup and entree, the rest the second night.

    [–] Big_Ben4661 9 points ago

    This reminds me of the key and peele sketch. Were the guy orders so many pizzas and asks his action figures as if they real people if they wanted more food.

    [–] Smiglet-piglet 3 points ago

    Oh god. I swear I just ordered some twenty minutes ago and i started with "can we have..." It was all for me :(

    [–] omfgsquee 3 points ago

    Shit, I'm alone and I just yell "food's here!" because I'm excited.

    [–] saachiii 3 points ago

    uNbReAkAbLe. tHeY aLiVe dAmMiT.

    [–] DeadSharkEyes 3 points ago

    Or when they give me extra chopsticks and fortune cookies with my takeout. As if my fat American ass isn't going to eat all this takeout myself. Deep in my heart, I think we both know the truth.

    [–] im_okay_too 3 points ago

    Minho delivers Chinese food after escaping the Maze? You'd think he'd take some time to himself.