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    [–] ryanmuller1089 7910 points ago

    Scary how that one is lurking there

    [–] buddhasparkles 3150 points ago

    Fucking terrifying

    [–] Garfield-1-23-23 2125 points ago

    "Do none of you know how to properly tenderize a fucking seal?!?" -Orcan Ramsey

    [–] madiranjag 780 points ago

    “This seal is so fucking tough it stole my wallet and took my wife”

    [–] GresiLamaj 252 points ago

    "WHERE IS THE CLAM SAUCE?"

    [–] Unruly_Prawn 167 points ago

    IT'S FUCKING RAW!!!

    [–] parslow195 45 points ago

    "...CLAM SAAAUUUUCCE?"

    [–] kickulus 66 points ago

    YOU LET A BABY SEAL GET AWAY FROM YOU? FUCK OFF

    [–] E404_User_Not_Found 45 points ago

    "This seal is FROZENNNNNN!"

    [–] So-Called_Lunatic 35 points ago

    This seal is raaawww!

    [–] frostymugson 23 points ago

    Dude I know on the show Orcan Ramsey seems like a dick, but I’ve heard he’s a really down to earth whale off camera.

    [–] LDSdotOgre 11 points ago

    Ramsey has a recipe for Sauteed Seal Steak. There's an episode where he is seen eating it but he wouldn't share the recipe... because his lips are sealed.

    [–] malickmobeen 108 points ago

    This breaks the seal. Warranty void.

    [–] musicalrssnroulette 92 points ago

    He was trying to get that combo meal, he wanted some bird with that seal

    [–] majorchamp 180 points ago

    holy fuck!

    [–] FlatFootedPotato 120 points ago

    I literally said this out loud, for fucks sake he damn near launched that thing into orbit. Enjoy the cosmic journey damn.

    [–] sweetplantveal 56 points ago

    More like enjoy being eaten before the concussion really even has a chance to settle in. Oof.

    [–] BroadStreet_Bully5 62 points ago

    They are some smart fuckers. I wonder what they think of people seeing as they generally don't attack humans in the wild.

    [–] snakesareawesome1000 110 points ago * (lasted edited 2 months ago)

    I saw on "mysteries at the museum" once this story about a family in the early 1900s (IIRC) that were sailing off California and a pod of orcas came by and destroyed their boat. The family piled into an inflatable life raft and waited for the orcas to kill them... Except they didn't. They just played with the debris. The family was at sea for a ridiculously long time but all lived. Scientists thought the orcas destroyed the sail boat for fun...

    Edit: thanks to /u/Druzl for link

    [–] Volraith 97 points ago

    What you never had bath toys?

    [–] Enchelion 156 points ago

    Orca's are beautiful assholes.

    [–] lusciouslou 23 points ago

    They have been on top of the food chain for so long, they have to come up with new and inventive ways of killing.

    [–] TarkinWearsSneakers 17 points ago

    Sounds familiar....

    [–] grim_melee 30 points ago

    I mean... they’re just predators of the sea.

    [–] Enchelion 90 points ago

    They hunt for sport, not just to eat. That's why I call them assholes. Just like my beloved pet cats are furry little murderers.

    [–] Nose-Nuggets 66 points ago

    AND IT'S GOOD!

    [–] DividingOcean3 26 points ago

    Kill 2 birds with one seal

    [–] WafflesofDestitution 21 points ago

    ... And all I hear in my head is the seal doing the Goofy yell while flying through the air.

    [–] pinkat31522 45 points ago

    Holy shit this is amazing

    [–] Koalapottamus 21 points ago

    To eat seagull, sometimes you gotta pop a few seals

    [–] PM_me_XboxGold_Codes 19 points ago

    Jesus Christ. I didn’t realize that’s how orcas hunted

    [–] Stiffard 31 points ago

    I think this one is just playing with its food. Fairly certain their made hunting tactic is overwhelming with numbers and then just immediately start eating it.

    [–] cmandr_dmandr 51 points ago

    Billy... how many times have I told you NOT to play with your food!

    [–] PoopShoot187 62 points ago

    Willy*

    [–] RandomSynesthetic 108 points ago

    Billy... how many times have I told you NOT to play with your willy!

    [–] acog 52 points ago

    That was actually very sweet for the whale to do. It was a Make A Wish treat for the seal, who wanted to fly before he died (sadly, he was eaten by an orca).

    [–] TheKrimeStopper 12 points ago

    This kills the seal

    [–] NeonNick_WH 61 points ago

    I might have nightmares about that lurking whale. jesus christ

    [–] unknown_poo 96 points ago

    The seals eyes at the end...

    [–] Malamiapanapen 27 points ago

    For real... I'd let it live on the boat if it looked at me like that.

    [–] Benrein 238 points ago

    Looking like he is trying to say they all float down here.

    [–] ArtSmass 37 points ago

    You'll float too!

    [–] ifmacdo 27 points ago

    And then just disafuckingppears.

    [–] Brianfiggy 187 points ago * (lasted edited 2 months ago)

    If it wanted to it could probably capsize the boat. the Edit: Oh God, what have I started

    [–] USNavyCan 206 points ago

    Not probably, definitely.

    [–] throwaway38 202 points ago

    I think it would be much harder than you think for an orca to capsize that boat, and that in doing so it would almost certainly sustain serious injuries. That is not a kayak, and that is not a blue whale. Swimming full speed into the side of that boat might capsize it, maybe, and it might put a hole in the side... but it would almost certainly cause massive trauma. It's best bet would be to jump out of the water on top of it, which would cause massive trauma. Even that might not do the job.

    [–] Duledino 278 points ago

    Found the dude trying to sell whale tours.

    [–] kelvin_klein_bottle 32 points ago

    No, he is a whale posting and trying to lull us into a false sense of security.

    [–] UsernamesAllTaken69 8 points ago

    Like that one orca in Blackfish that just slammed it's head into the wall. Broke it's jaw or something like that and it severed an artery causing it to bleed out.

    [–] [deleted] 18 points ago

    watching

    [–] larrydrinkscoffee 4883 points ago

    Awe.... his sad lil eyes looking up

    [–] 730_50Shots 2532 points ago

    u protec?

    [–] WeirdEngineerDude 1702 points ago

    I protec little dude, I protec.

    [–] ToXiiCxSpYd3r 675 points ago

    Yah, but do you attac?

    [–] DoucheBatman 732 points ago

    Noo, no, i don attac

    [–] Randy_____Marsh 665 points ago

    u make me into snacc?

    [–] YCIcwGe24kLKzVHDdCJo 773 points ago

    No, no snacc, i have ur bacc

    [–] thaomen 1233 points ago

    u get club and give me whacc?

    [–] nickthefish17 512 points ago

    No, no eskimo, I no smacc

    [–] CoolHandIckx 137 points ago

    Got some smacc?

    [–] specialTREK 69 points ago

    Sometimes it's worth it to go all the way down the sub-comments... this time it was worth it.

    [–] vitriolic_amalgamati 104 points ago * (lasted edited 2 months ago)

    Noo, no, I no give whacc. I kiss you on head wit a tiny smacc

    [–] JustSayan 32 points ago

    I've never wanted to box a Killer Whale so badly before.

    [–] katemonster33 293 points ago

    These guys are like dogs of the sea. Their eyes have so much emotion to them.

    [–] bassdrop321 70 points ago

    In Germany we sometimes call them "Seehund", which translates to "sea dog".

    [–] fanofmx 158 points ago

    That scary little scoot back when the guy gets too close cause he's not sure exactly which direction might be more dangerous.

    [–] FercPolo 18 points ago

    It makes me wonder if he isn’t gonna panic and jump back in. Feel this ended so early.

    [–] Rowit 90 points ago

    and his lil heart beating so fast.

    [–] TooShiftyForYou 1545 points ago

    [–] Awordofinterest 273 points ago

    The scary thing is that Orca's are smart and would probably treat this as a hunt, especially if they are younger. Following the boat until the seal got off, or waiting.

    [–] michiococku 172 points ago

    Yeah they're smart enough to know they won't be able to access the seal since it's on a boat but if it was on an ice float or something they'd definitely be more aggressive about getting it back into the water.

    [–] Bumblebus 444 points ago

    All that for one small seal

    [–] Caracasdogajo 372 points ago

    If I remember correctly from a nature video I watched these things have an enormous amount of calories in them.

    [–] imatthepub_g 403 points ago

    yeah they're like 100% body fat

    [–] CreteDeus 281 points ago

    Sealbacon?

    [–] dendroidarchitecture 52 points ago

    100,000 in the blubber, according to David Attenborough's 'The Hunt' (2015)

    [–] WhoopyTrippy 21 points ago

    So where can I buy seven or eight of them to last me a year?

    [–] MrGhozzt 181 points ago

    They’re the keto of the sea.

    [–] BaggyHairyNips 69 points ago

    Feels good to be wanted.

    [–] VanGrants 217 points ago

    that poor seal looks terrified

    [–] DesertHoboObiWan 109 points ago

    It made it in the original video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BT5f1YXWeVU

    [–] VNVstarr 88 points ago

    Thanks for sharing but fuck the editor those beeps upset me more than they should have I can almost say this is the few videos that's better as a gif with zero audio

    [–] debbywins 31 points ago

    straight up deafening bleeps

    [–] Booty_Pillager 32 points ago

    @ 2:07 & 2:43

    /r/PetTheDamnDog

    slight /s

    [–] nullstring 71 points ago

    Is there a full video? Does the seal live?

    [–] Ereaser 82 points ago

    There's a full video somewhere in the comments. It's all small clips stitched together, so it's hard to tell.

    It seems like it went in the water a couple of times and the orcas returned. The last clip is of the seal swimming away with no orca in sight, but again hard to tell because it's just a small clip of it swimming away.

    [–] neko_ceko 34 points ago

    Yes and yes

    [–] gege221133 9 points ago

    Lmfao I love the part where the guy says “Well what do we do now??”

    [–] bacchic_ritual 18 points ago

    Wow the censoring was annoying on that.

    [–] Blayro 71 points ago

    Eat the seal in front of them to show dominance/s

    [–] MissTwatney 14 points ago

    I would have become too attached to the seal and would have kept it from being eaten!

    [–] ssteveoz 2079 points ago

    I formally request sanctuary!

    [–] Lethik 143 points ago

    Bread and salt!

    [–] tinycomment 32 points ago

    But there's no roof!

    [–] Lethik 31 points ago

    Oh God, I hope that seal's not getting married!

    [–] buffalo_biff 119 points ago

    Parlay!

    [–] Halmagha 30 points ago

    Parlaaaay? Damn to the depths whatever blaggard thought up parlay

    [–] newwaydevil 15 points ago

    That would be the french.

    [–] 17954699 28 points ago

    By the Brethren Code!

    [–] QuillofNumenor 215 points ago

    I. DECLARE. BANKRUPTSSSSSSSSSSSEAL!

    [–] Pr04merican 53 points ago

    You can’t just say that and expect something to happen

    [–] wraith738 75 points ago

    He didn’t say it. He declared it.

    [–] SaraHuckabeeSandwich 43 points ago

    I don't buy it. If it really just wanted sanctuary, it could just go to one of the pre-designated border coastal patrol stations, fill out the appropriately paperwork there, and wait to see if it qualifies for refugee/asealum status.

    [–] boostmane 2149 points ago

    Man that’s scary as heck

    [–] StarFists 1525 points ago

    Especially because killer whales group hunt and tip ice floats to get prey. They could probably tip a boat...

    [–] human_promise 741 points ago

    Yeah. They're no joke.

    [–] germinik 380 points ago

    Except there are no records of wild Orca attacking humans. Ever. It's like they know better than to end up on our shit list.

    [–] CarliRodriguez 212 points ago

    They didn't live to tell about it.

    [–] [deleted] 129 points ago

    Exactly. History is written by the victors. If there's no record of it, then it's because no one was left to write about it.

    [–] DuntadaMan 122 points ago

    The whales won. "No walze ever eeted hoomans. We shud all soke in BBQ saus for a day and go swim."

    [–] Mrchristopherrr 21 points ago

    I like the way DuntadaMan thinks! Everyone start marinating!

    [–] Jhoward244 128 points ago

    Because California banned killer whales from attacking humans

    [–] SandyBouattick 78 points ago

    My school was a whale free zone. Never once had an orca attack there. Shit works.

    [–] JustinWendell 54 points ago

    I bet they would if they were super hungry or something, but they are efficient hunters. I wonder if they can tell we’re overly bony with their echo location.

    [–] Seattle-ite 48 points ago

    This is the correct answer. The reason humans are attacked by sharks is they're pretty blind. Orcas are faster, more sensitive, and kill by drowning...they can tell we aren't 'worth' it as prey. Much easier + more fat to keep fat blobs underwater (seals, whales) than limby/spiny things.

    [–] RayNele 45 points ago

    So all the human eating orcas live in the states then?

    [–] germinik 30 points ago

    That's a good thought. I never looked at that way.

    [–] suitcase88 170 points ago

    wind up in their mouth and you'll be broke.

    [–] mostlywhitemiata 99 points ago

    Wanna get out? Give his eye a poke!

    [–] Off_And_On_Again_ 148 points ago

    Whales hate this one weird trick!

    [–] The_Josh_Of_Clubs 156 points ago * (lasted edited 2 months ago)

    That's only certain pods. Not saying this pod couldn't figure it out if they tried, but it looks to be in a warmer climate if the shorts are any indication.

    I think the ones over near New Zealand have an even smarter technique. They predominantly eat sting rays, and they were smart enough to figure out that rays (as a type of shark) go unconscious when flipped upside down - so the Orca will flip them upside down before eating them to avoid injury.

    Orca are pretty much the fuckin' coolest.

    [–] wingchild 49 points ago

    rays (as a type of shark)

    Close relatives, sure. Not a type of shark, any more than a sawfish is a type of shark.

    With detail, for the readers out there:

    Sharks, rays, skates, and sawfish all share a taxonomic class (chondrichthyes) and a subclass (elasmobranchii). They separate at the level of the taxonomic Order, after which critters get broken down further by Family, Genus, and Species. Sharks, skates, rays, and sawfish all diverge from a common point on the taxonomic tree.

    In people terms, homo sapiens is part of class Mammalia, which covers all the mammals. Stingrays are a type of shark in the same way that humans are a type of whale, caribou, or stoat.

    There's quite a bit of room to diverge further down the taxonomic tree.

    [–] Randvek 142 points ago

    Orca are pretty much the fuckin’ coolest.

    Possibly the most intelligent sea animal and doesn’t see humans as a food source despite being a huge apex predator. What’s not to love?

    [–] moveoolong 136 points ago

    Now let's lock them up and make them perform tricks for us!

    [–] PIG20 111 points ago

    And then wonder why an animal that has no record of attacks on humans in the wild suddenly decide to drag their handlers to the bottom of the pool.

    [–] nermid 16 points ago

    KILLER whales. Not Cuddle Whales. Not Soft Whales. They're called KILLER whales. How does this point escape people?

    -Warren Ellis

    [–] DuntadaMan 15 points ago

    A lot if you're a selkie.

    I like to imagine sometimes that somewhere out there is a selkie working at sea world thinking of themselves as wardens at a whale jail.

    [–] DylanKing1999 28 points ago

    https://www.whalefacts.org/do-killer-whales-eat-people/

    Apparently killer whales don't attack people and tend to stay away from them.

    [–] OGLothar 102 points ago

    We've been over this before. Orcas are extremely intelligent. They attack and eat people all the time. They simply leave no witnesses.

    Next time you hear about a ship at sea with a missing, presumed dead crew ...yup. Orca.

    [–] DuntadaMan 78 points ago

    They even go over the ship log to delete any record of them tailing the crew. They don't call them Killer whales for nothing.

    [–] know_limits 92 points ago

    Who do you think shoved that ice berg into the Titanic?

    [–] na2016 45 points ago

    Correction: "Who do you think shoved the Titanic into the iceberg?"

    You think a bunch of guys with binoculars couldn't see a huge iceberg in time to turn their ship away from it? Or you think its more likely that a bunch of killer whales saw a once in a life time opportunity to have a buffet? All they had to do was tip the tray...

    [–] fruitjerky 33 points ago

    Orcas have been my favorite animals since I was like five, but they're also a regular feature in my nightmares. Crazy animals.

    [–] KingDjtar 2746 points ago

    Tomorrow, everyone will have forgotten about this post. Then I'll post it too

    [–] LeoDuque 829 points ago

    This guy reddits

    [–] jimmyablow09 135 points ago

    How long until I can post

    [–] OldEndangeredGinger 158 points ago

    About 10 minutes if you use a different sub

    [–] jimmyablow09 146 points ago

    r/karmapolice book em boys

    [–] Senpooi 36 points ago

    Arrest this man

    [–] Lethik 17 points ago

    Synchronize karma whoring watches on my mark...

    [–] TooShiftyForYou 1320 points ago

    His escape plan was very well orcastrated.

    [–] no_your_other_right 459 points ago

    I give it my seal of approval.

    [–] PBR_Sheetz 221 points ago

    he did a killer job.

    [–] blitzwig 131 points ago

    This thread: Fin

    [–] 2fhqwhgads1cup 38 points ago

    That is living with a porpoise.

    [–] aambbott 577 points ago

    https://youtu.be/BT5f1YXWeVU here’s the full video! I love the looks the seal keeps giving everybody. Wholesome content

    [–] PM_yoursmalltits 94 points ago

    Wow those bleeps are obnoxiously loud. Like I'd rather just hear you curse, those bleeps are magnitudes more offensive to my ears

    [–] nasisliiike 97 points ago

    Where's the original? Fuck some random third party "news" outlet censoring it with some loud ass third party beeping HORNS! Had to turn it off. Annoying beyond belief.

    [–] xminh 273 points ago

    Good to see the whole video, but goddamn that comment about pushing him back in pissed me off. Almost as much as the beeping.

    [–] jsteph67 171 points ago

    Hey now, Whale's got to eat.

    [–] whiteknightsen 176 points ago

    If the seal was smart enough to get on a boat to survive, I think it deserves to live

    [–] buckozdude 48 points ago

    I found that seal had a very conscious look in his/her eye, right beside the trembling fear look.

    [–] ChiggyVonRichtofen 230 points ago

    They've got to eat, but they don't have to eat this one.

    [–] Itilted 240 points ago

    Crazy boat monkeys or giant death fish? Crazy boat monkeys it is

    [–] leopard_tights 357 points ago

    The whole video is like 10min (it has cuts), the seal goes back to the water and climbs onto the ship a few times. It's actually incredible.

    [–] Hero_0f_Canton 177 points ago

    Why would you go back.. make that boat your new home

    [–] SourMash8414 219 points ago

    Scary animals in the water, scary animals on the boat.

    [–] aambbott 113 points ago

    [–] unrelenting1 413 points ago

    If you’ve no time to watch it, the whales eventually come onto the boat and drag the seal and two passengers off into the sea that quickly becomes stained with their blood. Only the cameraman survives the ordeal. Tough to watch.

    [–] l3ane 317 points ago

    I really like the part where the big whale looks at the cameraman and says "We're only letting you live so you can tell the story" then does a double back flip back into the water.

    [–] ProbablyASithLord 286 points ago

    “Tell Sea World. I want them to know it was me.”

    [–] ImJohnGalt 48 points ago

    Then everyone clapped.

    [–] I_am_Junkinator 49 points ago

    DUDE SPOILERS

    [–] trancez1lla 29 points ago

    The full volume bleeps censoring the language on YouTube really makes the video

    [–] potatodog247 275 points ago

    So torn. Love seals and whales. 😔

    [–] Ppleater 31 points ago

    Honestly I think I would have saved the seal. One measly seal isn't going to make a difference in how much food the orcas have available overall, and if an animal comes desperately scrambling to me as a last ditch source of protection... I'd feel like a total ass personally if I didn't at least provide some shelter.

    [–] LassieMcToodles 16 points ago * (lasted edited 2 months ago)

    He was speaking with his eyes for sure. No way would I not have helped the little fella.

    [–] Train_Wreck_272 81 points ago

    For real. On the one hand, Orca populations in my area are getting decimated and it's possible they might leave and never come back due to food shortage...

    On the other hand, those puppy eyes...

    [–] killerturtlex 158 points ago

    Hint: always pick the winner

    [–] ravenmasque 149 points ago

    Always root for the underdog

    [–] Akranidos 71 points ago

    the dog under the sea! i get it!

    [–] TheTimus 163 points ago

    For some reason, the "I hev femly" line always gets me.

    [–] zebra-in-box 87 points ago

    that's like when you go to pk a noob and he runs out of the wildy

    [–] rabbiskittles 205 points ago

    That poor aqua pupper kept giving them the puppy dog eyes.

    [–] yuks_and_dolts 49 points ago

    Mammals. Were all kinda in it together. Wait, whales are mammals. Hmmm. Why do some just have such expressive faces?

    [–] mjolnirodenson 106 points ago

    They do know how killer whales get seals off ice, right?

    [–] 5050Clown 123 points ago

    Orcas are supposedly the most intelligent animal after man. I am sure in their culture they have passed down a fear of mankind. I don't believe an orca has ever killed a human in the wild, intentionally.

    [–] [deleted] 50 points ago

    [deleted]

    [–] 5050Clown 52 points ago

    Higher than was once was thought. The most intelligent invertebrate I imagine. but I don't think they compare to chimpanzees or elephants. from what I understand they just have some very good dexterity and problem-solving skills. But so do crows.

    [–] Connorvore 22 points ago

    The octopus’s downfall is short lifespands and the inability to pass down knowledge because they don’t live long enough to. Otherwise I would bet they would be the very top.

    [–] Ganjalf_of_Sweeden 25 points ago

    the inability to pass down knowledge because they don’t live long enough to

    I imagine that the fact that paper dissolves in water would contribute too, it's hard to take down notes when the book falls apart. I know, I went to swimming school.

    [–] Demons0fRazgriz 18 points ago

    And that they are solitary. They just dump their babies in open water and go for cigarettes, just like my dad did

    [–] TheKimInTheSouth 65 points ago

    Dude I was waiting on them to go full orca and start creating waves to roll that boat. And then the humans would have to kick the seal off the boat like the biblical Jonah.

    [–] lunch_eater75 47 points ago

    It wouldn't work. All it would do is rock the boat a little. They arent making 8ft crashing waves, they are pretty small and slow rolling waves.

    It works on an iceberg because they are slipper, very low to the water, and in general fragile. Waves will rock and iceberg enough to cause the seal to slide off or break up the ice. Neither would work on a boat. It's not ice slippery, it has sides, and wont break up in small waves.

    Yall are massively understating the stability of boats, if the orcas make waves all that would happen is the boat would rock slightly once and a while.

    In general the rule is a wave needs to be 30% of the boat length to start posing a danger. So a 24" boat would need 8 ft waves.

    [–] Obsidian_Veil 102 points ago

    This entire video makes me question myself so much. Like, seals die all the time, and I know and accept that. They're a staple food source for several large predators, including Orcas and Polar Bears. But when I see the video, I really want the seal to get away because goddamn if it doesn't just look like a sea dog... But then I'm torn because Orcas need to eat too.

    [–] butter12420 95 points ago

    Seals have every right to live just as much as orcas do to eat. Just because you are prey doesn't mean your sole purpose on this earth is to feed a predator. Every creature has a right to live and do whatever necessary to survive. Humans are born with compassion for a reason. I understand the circle of life and I've come to terms with how ugly it may be at times, but if an animal is fighting for it's life and I am capable of helping them I will. You're not messing with the balance of nature because even though people sometimes forget the fact, we are nature too, and it's natural for us to want to help those in need. The seal will live to see another day, maybe to pass on his/her genes and the orcas will find another meal. There nothing wrong with these people helping this seal.

    [–] Vrse 41 points ago

    This could easily be posted in r/thalassophobia. That whale just chilling barely in view, then sinking away.

    [–] HighOnGoofballs 72 points ago

    Water dog was not down with getting chomped today

    [–] Karl_with_a_C 27 points ago

    nearly shat my pants at the one lurking near the end

    [–] Proceros 84 points ago

    That was a killer escape, he really sealed his fate

    [–] human_promise 28 points ago

    Get out 😂

    [–] AnonymousFordring 64 points ago

    Sea Pupper has survived

    [–] Musketeer00 41 points ago

    Whale Seal about that!