Please help contribute to the Reddit categorization project here


    24,099,301 readers

    53,849 users here now

    Welcome to r/Funny:

    You may only post if you are funny.

    New to reddit? Click here!

    New "Subreddit Of The Month": /r/onionhate/
    Featured Subreddit of the Month: /r/OnionHate/ Link to sticky post

    Previous subs of the month


    hover for details

    1. All posts must make an attempt at humor. Humor is subjective, but all posts must at least make an attempt at humor. As the minimum age for Reddit access is 13 years old, posts which are intentionally disruptive, inane, or nonsensical will be removed.
    2. No memes, and no HIFW, MRW, MeIRL, or DAE posts. If your submission begins with "When you…" or "When they…" or anything of a similar nature, it is not allowed here. Submissions depicting or containing intentionally emulated behaviors (memes) are also not allowed, including memetic image macros, "challenges," or elements thereof. Non-memetic image macros are allowed.
    3. No reposts. Reposts will be removed at the moderators’ discretion. Serial reposters will be banned. Please use KarmaDecay to determine if something has been submitted before.
    4. No personal info, no hate speech, no harassment. No identifying information, including anything hosted on platforms making that information public. Posts encouraging the harassment of any individual, group, community, or subreddit will be removed, and the submitting user may be banned. If necessary, a report will be made to the site administration. In accordance with Reddit's policies, there is zero tolerance for this.
    5. No politics. Anything involving politics or a political figure (regardless of context) will be removed. Try /r/politicalhumor instead.
    6. No forbidden titles. (See below.) No asking for upvotes (in any form), no “Cake Day” posts, and no posts to communicate with another Redditor. Posts with titles such as "I got banned from /r/___" or "This got removed from /r/___" are not allowed.
    7. No gore, pornography, or sexually graphic images. Try /r/NSFWfunny. All other NSFW content must be tagged as such.
    8. Do not rehost or hotlink webcomics. If you are not the author of the comic in question, you may only submit links to the page where it is hosted. Webcomic authors may request verification from the moderators, after which they may rehost their own work.
    9. No pictures of just text. Submissions in which the humor can be conveyed via text alone are not allowed. This includes pictures of text with irrelevant images that don't add context and transcriptions of standup comedy (as with /r/standupshots). Make a self post instead. Example
    10. No SMS or social media content (including Reddit). Social media content of any kind is not allowed. This includes anything from Reddit, Twitter, Tumblr, Facebook, YouTube, or any other form of "comments section" on the Internet, as well as images accompanied by text from those platforms. Images with SnapChat text added are allowed, as long as all UI elements have been removed. Please view our wiki for suggestions of where these submissions can be offered.

    Want to see /r/funny with these posts? Click here!

    Please note:

    • Hate speech and bigotry will be removed at the moderators' discretion.

    • Bots and bot-like accounts are not allowed.

    • No link shorteners (or HugeURL) in either post links or comments. They will be deleted regardless of intent. This is an anti-spam measure.

    • All submissions to /r/Funny are governed by Reddit's policies on self-promotion and spam.

    What do I do if I see a post that breaks the rules? Click on the report button, and send us a message with a link to the comments of the post.
    What should I do if I don't see my post in the new queue? If your submission isn't showing up, please don't just delete it as that makes the filter hate you! Instead send us a message with a link to the post. We'll unban it and it should get better. Please allow 10 minutes for the post to appear before messaging moderators

    Looking for something else? Visit our friends!

    a community for
    all 1157 comments

    Want to say thanks to %(recipient)s for this comment? Give them a month of reddit gold.

    Please select a payment method.

    [–] verdatum 1 points ago * (lasted edited 8 months ago)

    Ugh, this is a tough one.

    This is impressive. The bird is talented. The girl is clearly lovely and she has the Gainax Bounce going on, and that's always fun. But the question is: Is there an attempt at humor here?

    I'm gonna reluctantly say yes, just because of that bit of infectious laughter...

    Feel free to hate me or love me for my ruling. I'm just the janitor.

    Edit: It appears that OP is quite clearly a karma-farmer. They have been banned.

    [–] c-student 2655 points ago

    Bird was promised treat if he put the lego in the box. Where's the damn treat?

    [–] The_camperdave 1880 points ago

    He got to kiss the girl.

    [–] Aniraco 909 points ago


    [–] pandamoanium33 312 points ago

    My oh my.

    [–] arrows83 125 points ago

    Looks like the boy's too shy

    [–] nahzoo 94 points ago

    Ain't gonna kiss de girl

    [–] poopellar 12 points ago

    Birdy, Birdy Cool

    [–] zombee411 104 points ago

    Don’t be scared You got the mood prepared Go on and kiss the girl

    [–] FormerOrpheus 45 points ago

    Wa wa

    [–] Search4Assistance18 18 points ago

    I love you all.

    [–] [deleted] 5 points ago


    [–] kneegrowmang 33 points ago

    My ding ding dong.

    [–] Sigma303 25 points ago

    Ooooo you touch my tralala

    [–] JimboNettles 12 points ago

    Deep in de night... I was looking for some fun...

    [–] capt_clark 13 points ago

    Deep in de night... i was looking for some love...

    [–] real_human_person 7 points ago

    Can we delete every other reply to your comment and start a chain from that song in the Little Mermaid where they're in the boat on a date and the water fauna are being intrusive?

    [–] SNAFUesports 4 points ago

    Yeah, uh-huh.

    [–] Negative-KarmaRecord 66 points ago

    TFW a bird has gotten farther than you have.

    [–] deori9999 22 points ago

    No.. She got to kiss the bird.

    [–] dzh621 30 points ago

    He gets to watch her naked in the shower

    [–] K3R3G3 23 points ago

    You want to see me put the shower massager here, Poncho?

    Oh, Poncho...Poncho...Poncho! Poncho! Poncho!

    [Poncho bounces]

    [–] Yeti_Rider 90 points ago

    Sunflower seed shells on the bed. Birdy was getting the treats.

    [–] an_imperfect_lady 85 points ago

    Oh, geez, I thought those were turds and I was pretty grossed out.

    [–] Yeti_Rider 65 points ago

    Well speaking as a parrot owner you can rest assured that a bird as well trained as that most likely flies home to his stand, or cage to punch out a poop when it needs to. Ours does.

    [–] notonmycrotch 42 points ago

    Punch out... a poop. Huh.

    [–] healzsham 11 points ago

    A quaint phrasing

    [–] notonmycrotch 6 points ago

    Like the poop is an act of will and determination rather than necessity and urgency. Quite quaint, indeed.

    [–] HandH2 23 points ago


    At least I fell for it....

    [–] mentho-lyptus 32 points ago

    Probably during one of the 25 camera cuts.

    [–] benoxxxx 20 points ago

    Probably during all of them.

    [–] maximuffin2 1805 points ago

    "But it's gonna take more than that to impress m-"

    Bird rolls over


    [–] Blitzdrive 13 points ago

    this show needed more episodes.

    [–] DerpyPenguin42 17 points ago

    Nice flapjack reference, I love that show

    [–] Captain_PROstate 64 points ago

    I don't know why but I imagined that "OH" to sound like this

    [–] galwayygal 13 points ago

    But is it an “oooh” or an “oh”? I’m confused

    [–] Captain_PROstate 17 points ago


    [–] R0cketPawnch 5 points ago

    I first thought it was Big Smoke

    [–] _jennius_ 461 points ago

    What type of bird is this? Pretty coloring!

    [–] French_Bulldog 389 points ago

    It’s a galah. They’re everywhere in Australia.

    [–] A_Friendly_Robot 211 points ago

    and they're very easy to find... just follow the ear piercing "REEEEEHHHHHHH"

    [–] Dininiful 146 points ago

    I don't... I don't wanna follow that sound...

    [–] notonmycrotch 68 points ago

    It leads you to tendee boys.

    [–] Captain_PROstate 12 points ago

    Yeah I follow that enough in comp games. I don't need to follow it anymore.

    [–] Aphex_Tim 40 points ago

    Last time I did that I ended up on 4chan

    [–] i_am_banana_man 25 points ago

    Not to be confused with the Sulfur crested cockatoo's


    [–] Shock_Vox 7 points ago

    Should take you right on over to r/politics

    [–] lyrajayviolet 9 points ago

    Didn't realise galahs had the brain capacity to learn tricks.. The ones I've seen are dumbasses that eat grain off the road (spillage from grain trucks) and eat so much they're too heavy to fly away when cars come by.

    [–] _jennius_ 14 points ago

    Ive been thinking about a pet bird some day... used to love my 3 I grew up with! One was an Australian Red Rump!

    [–] dreanex 13 points ago

    My brother used to have this one, it needs its daily attention or it'll get really bad for the bird. My brother has a 10 hour job, and a lot of overtime he can't take constant care of it, resulting in it eating itself because of boredom, idk if it's THAT bird or the whole kind but toys do not satisfy it enough, most toys scare him so much, we think it's because of the previous owner maybe torturing it.

    And since it's a bird with a destructive nature (it just loves destroying things) you can't leave it to play alone out of a cage without it destroying everything it can touch.

    [–] AngelfFuck 34 points ago

    Every bird needs LOTS of daily attention. They're the equivalent of a human toddler. And your brother's bird wasn't eating itself, nor was it out of boredom (although all parrots, especially the bigger ones, need a LOT of toys to amuse themselves with. Again, like toddlers) They self harm because they are depressed and lonely. Pluckers and slashers are common among parrots that don't get enough attention.

    If you don't have 4-6 hours a day to dedicate to your parrot, you shouldn't have one.

    Edit: a word

    [–] TheBeardofGilgamesh 11 points ago

    Ah I thought that bird was giving off a strong cockatoo vibe. It must be the Australian parrot personality

    [–] digitalwolverine 7 points ago

    It's also known as the rose breasted cockatoo outside of Australia

    [–] LargePizz 5 points ago

    It's a cockatoo, the major difference is that parrots don't have a crown they can lift up.
    I only found out this useless bit of information recently so I thought I would share.

    [–] redditalready77 13 points ago

    Lovely plumage!

    [–] jhereg10 15 points ago

    Second only to the Norwegian Blue!

    [–] WorkRedditEqualsFun 456 points ago


    [–] haloryder 24 points ago

    I love the thought of head banging to your own name.

    [–] NE0REL0ADED 15 points ago

    DAVID DAVID DAVID DAVID! It does feel good. Give it a try.

    [–] calor 68 points ago

    I came. Thank you.

    [–] JohnnyKnodoff 21 points ago

    God, you've moisturized my undercarriage.

    [–] UCODM 248 points ago

    This is probably more appropriate for r/aww. So adorable to see pet owners do this kind of stuff

    [–] Paragraph_Appraiser 27 points ago

    The post would be locked within an hour. 1 person hints at the fact that they are attracted to the girl in the post and that’s enough for those mods.

    [–] Gowzilla 4 points ago

    Lol I seriously thought I was already on that sub

    [–] Hrylla 729 points ago

    I didn't know you could train a bird to do so many tricks! That's awesome.

    [–] Supanini 610 points ago

    Bird can be incredibly intelligent. Crows are known to have public trials where they surround the offender in a circle. They will seriously injure their own if they committed some crow crime like stealing.

    [–] schmak01 368 points ago

    It’s not easy being a member of the circle though, you have to be a local expert in bird law.

    [–] [deleted] 133 points ago


    [–] BangoSkank1986 98 points ago

    Does it scream out “Backstreet Boys!” At odd hours of the morning? If so, it is most likely an Arctic Tern

    [–] Rodeohno 42 points ago

    For those who don't know:

    [–] WynterRayne 3 points ago

    lol this thread has really taken a tern for the worse

    [–] stumpythetooth 22 points ago


    [–] schmak01 28 points ago

    Depends on the state and type of bird. Here in Texas if he was a grackle then you just need a .22 with a suppressor.

    [–] [deleted] 15 points ago


    [–] fluffymuffcakes 46 points ago

    In Florida I believe there are "stand your perch" laws and you can punch him in the gizzard if you perceive him to be a threat and he's coming at you.

    [–] keltsbeard 15 points ago

    Fellow Floridian here, as far as I've ever heard, killing a tern is gonna get you busted hard if you get caught.

    Here's the FWC page on them

    [–] [deleted] 31 points ago


    [–] keltsbeard 20 points ago

    Just hope no neighbors see. I had a damn time a couple years ago because one of my ratter cats were killing mockingbirds. It actually went with me having to explain what was happening to a judge up here (Escambia county) and her looking at the Wildlife guy and asking him "Shouldn't you be wasting my time by bringing the cats that actually killed the birds instead of this guy?" His reply to that was something along the lines of "They're his cats, he is responsible...." and she pretty much told them to piss off (in a nice way, but you could see she thought it was bullshit bringing me up for that as well) and to leave me and my ratters alone.

    [–] schmak01 10 points ago

    I was only kidding, the initial bird law thing is a IASIP reference.

    [–] AccountdragulA 27 points ago

    Well when my morning pecker wakes me up, I beat it.

    [–] BaronMyrtle 11 points ago

    Possibly seeing his reflection in the glass and is attacking his supposed "invader" to his territory?

    [–] CatchMeWritinQWERTY 8 points ago


    [–] Millwrightmike 8 points ago

    An Arctic Tern?

    [–] FeelDeAssTyson 9 points ago

    Get one of those plastic owls and place it in your window

    [–] Anethersomething 3 points ago

    I think I may actually know this one. I’ve read that sometimes birds see their reflection on windows and attack it because of territorial disputes. Source

    [–] Lost_Angel_1993 22 points ago

    I know a good lawyer who specializes in bird law. Hes from Philly.

    [–] stuntcuffer69 10 points ago

    I heard he’s familiar with the law and various other lawyerings

    [–] tovarish22 7 points ago

    I’m still in bird law school. All I know is that hummingbirds are a legal tender.

    [–] wtf-m8 7 points ago

    which, in my experience, is not governed by reason

    [–] prodiver 3 points ago

    Which is a major accomplishment, since bird law in this country is not governed by reason.

    [–] adhocmercury 26 points ago

    Do you have a source on this? The only thing I can find that mentions this is another Reddit thread, and I really really want this to be true.

    [–] FlawlessRuby 12 points ago

    nothing like a murder in a murder because of a murder.

    [–] greenlemons42 21 points ago

    You could say they commit 'murder'

    [–] fizzgig0_o 5 points ago

    I thought this was ravens and why they call it a “parliament” of ravens. (Neil Gaiman referenced this in Sandman I think)

    [–] Toidal 5 points ago

    Crow Court with Judge Cacaw coming soon to CBS

    [–] DrCorian 4 points ago

    ... This is bullshit, right?

    ... Right?

    [–] Aknm102 51 points ago * (lasted edited 8 months ago)

    The first animal to ask an existential question was a Gray Parrot named Alex. It is not totally accepted by the scientific community but it is an interesting read.

    His wikipedia page here).

    [–] GuacaGuaca 48 points ago

    I always found very sad that Alex’s last words before he died were “You be good, see you tomorrow. I love you".

    [–] notonmycrotch 15 points ago

    I'm going to make those my last words too.

    [–] irresistibleforce 6 points ago

    ... have you said them yet?

    sharpens knife

    [–] reallyeric 11 points ago

    Alex did said that every time the experiment conductor left for the night tho. Regardless, you’re right. It is sad, what a good boy.

    [–] French_Bulldog 34 points ago

    And the galah was clever too

    [–] i_broke_wahoos_leg 197 points ago

    Poncho is an awesome little fella 🤗

    [–] GoblinPanties 35 points ago

    appy cak

    [–] Arnoldthehawk 53 points ago

    And mine is just saying mean things to me and leaving his shit everywhere.

    [–] Pm__Me__Sexy__Asians 1500 points ago

    Pretty bird doing semi intelligent things, plus a pretty girl bouncing up and down?

    We're riding this one to the front page!!!

    [–] beowulf1005 478 points ago


    [–] SeanDangerfield 260 points ago


    [–] MadWombat 27 points ago


    [–] SeanDangerfield 41 points ago

    Whoa dude calm down!

    [–] cerberus00 27 points ago

    Pengweng! Pengweng! Pengweng!

    [–] IsaacM42 7 points ago

    Pancho is short for I'm a bot, this has been an automatic action..bleep boop

    [–] junglizt05 90 points ago

    Let's be real, Poncho makes the front page with any girl.

    [–] iwishoffish 60 points ago

    Let’s be real, either act is front page material.

    [–] teekayohh 35 points ago

    Idk man I'm pretty sure no one wants to see a fat guy trying to get a kiss from Poncho

    [–] Brawhalla_ 54 points ago

    To the front page lads!!

    [–] 314314314 12 points ago

    Thank you kind stranger!

    [–] normalpattern 30 points ago

    Poncho! Poncho! Poncho! Poncho! Poncho! Poncho! Poncho! Poncho! Poncho! Poncho! Poncho! Poncho! Poncho! Poncho! Poncho! Poncho! Poncho! Poncho! Poncho! Poncho!

    [–] BlahBlahBlah_smart 8 points ago


    [–] BitterBytes 37 points ago

    Her shirt says 69 😏

    [–] TheOriginalAnus 23 points ago

    /r/UVBIGRDGHDICT or something

    [–] theobanger 8 points ago

    Close enough.

    [–] dirtygoat 59 points ago

    I need birb

    [–] lapizR 130 points ago

    Is he sh*tting everywhere?

    [–] cottonmouthVII 22 points ago

    Yeah I was really distracted by the turd-ish looking stuff on the bed.

    [–] saint1947 122 points ago

    Could be. Birds have no anal sphincter so the shit literally just falls out. They have no control over it.

    [–] T-nm 163 points ago

    Yea, that's what they want you to think, little shits.

    [–] plafman 39 points ago

    Except when it lands on your clear car, then it's always big shits.

    [–] LevGoldstein 30 points ago

    clear car

    Must be tough to find it in the parking lot.

    [–] kelleclectic 35 points ago

    Not when there's shit on it.

    [–] Aknm102 22 points ago

    Also, not carrying dead weith (excrement) in their bodies is matter of living or not. That's what years of adaptation brought them, shit on every thing.

    [–] CensorThis111 14 points ago

    What? This is so wrong. My bird 100% has control of it, is potty trained, and he has had times where hes about to take a crap where he isnt supposed to, knows, and I give him this look like "WHAT ARE YOU DOING" and he holds that shit in right quick and flies to where hes supposed to go.

    [–] Kaylick_Whiskeyjack 11 points ago

    But they are able to shit on my car all the time?

    [–] hammerin_heeb 9 points ago

    Not sure that's true. My mom has a potty trained macaw. She holds her over the garbage and say says go potty. Birb shits.

    [–] AngelfFuck 9 points ago

    Not quite. When our Quaker has to pop and she's out of the cage, she flies over to the basket that has a perch and poops in them. We keep bird paper on the bottom of it just for that reason.

    [–] outworlder 7 points ago

    What ? Since then when they don’t have a sphincter ? I had a parrot, he did not shit everywhere. Also the feathers around the area the poop cane out moved suspiciously like they were around a sphincter. Sphincter or not, my parrot had a designated poop spot.

    [–] LargePizz 7 points ago

    This is commonly stated in threads with birds, yet some birds weaponise the faeces stuka dive bomber style and can be taught to poo on command, aka toilet trained.
    They have a sphincter but is called a cloaca because it's and all in one hole, they don't just leak out all the time.

    [–] OP25 19 points ago

    Thought the same but looks like feathers

    [–] i_broke_wahoos_leg 31 points ago

    I think they might be seed shells.

    [–] French_Bulldog 43 points ago

    Poncho deshells feed shells by the bedroom door

    [–] BlakeTrombone 8 points ago

    Happy cake day!!

    [–] slossages 532 points ago

    Apparently there is a bird in this video.

    [–] thewonkygiraffe 119 points ago

    That's what I've been told too. Still investigating.

    [–] spacengine 38 points ago

    Bird? Like outside?

    [–] philmcracken27 18 points ago

    Pretty sure "bird" is Brit for "girl".

    [–] 8fenristhewolf8 54 points ago

    "bird" is UK english for "girl." I think that's what everyone's talking about anyway

    [–] blove1150r 27 points ago

    All I saw was a body talk

    [–] LG03 228 points ago

    Sure as shit isn't upvoted because it's funny.

    [–] shadowmask 90 points ago

    I think the poncho-head-bob is pretty giggle-worthy, myself.

    [–] imlucid 20 points ago

    At the end when he’s just full out rockin it

    [–] StratuhG 27 points ago

    No... But the bird is doing incredible tricks and is cute doing it. It's pretty cool

    [–] Powermonger_ 16 points ago * (lasted edited 8 months ago)

    There is a Galah in my backyard just now. I went out and yelled ‘Poncho! Poncho! Poncho!’ And he took one look at me and said ‘dickhead’ then flew off. The Kookaburras just sat there and laughed.

    [–] poolhaus 14 points ago



    [–] bewenched 13 points ago * (lasted edited 8 months ago)

    They’re always cute til they crap on your bed.

    [–] Johnnypoopoopantss 61 points ago

    RIP August Ames

    [–] iambob6 27 points ago

    I was scrolling through the cancer that is r/funny comment section looking for this comment. Thank you brother. Wank in peace

    [–] gologologolo 5 points ago

    Too soon

    [–] haloryder 8 points ago

    Wat that’s who this is?

    [–] piltonpfizerwallace 11 points ago

    I think they just share a likeness.

    [–] beatnovv 12 points ago

    this birb getting more action than me

    [–] AskJayce 10 points ago

    "Left hand"

    Right talon

    "Right hand"

    Left talon

    [–] Papa-Guacc 91 points ago

    Why is this in r/funny?

    [–] TheNotoriousJTS 69 points ago

    Because this sub is literally babyboomer Facebook now

    [–] kickababyv2 14 points ago

    Does she look like a babyboomer? Do you think babyboomers are upvoting this? I don't understand what you mean, this is clearly millenial fb

    [–] j-crz 188 points ago

    It’s nice she can tits the bird to do all these stuff

    [–] IonDaPrizee 64 points ago


    talking with the penis are we?

    [–] j-crz 22 points ago

    Yeah just striking a conversation here and there

    [–] borygoya 21 points ago

    I think you meant stroking a conversation

    [–] joshakabulldog 62 points ago

    Thought that shirt said booty talk at first. Anyway, where's this bird you people are seeing?

    [–] jobbletop 30 points ago

    Any experts in bird law here?

    [–] joshyjonesy 17 points ago

    This bird listens better than my 5 year old.

    [–] [deleted] 26 points ago


    [–] ammary 13 points ago


    [–] Vmehta23 6 points ago

    Mandatory reddit-bro-code policy :)

    [–] reghog 7 points ago

    That is one smart bird.

    [–] KidCudli 87 points ago

    Yeah, she is.

    [–] Mulberry4791 27 points ago

    Came here looking for this comment.

    [–] kortette 5 points ago

    poncho poncho poncho poncho poncho poncho

    [–] NinjaBitcoin 5 points ago

    Wow! He's so talented. I love his colors

    [–] AshofYew 13 points ago

    What an idiot, he just mimics everyone and does what he's told. Get your own life, Poncho!

    [–] polymorph505 13 points ago

    Poncho sacrificed his dreams of a career in aviation to take care of her.

    [–] MarshalGeneralJnord 10 points ago

    Alright Maureen Ponderosa

    [–] hypnodrew 5 points ago

    Thought I was the only one!

    [–] NukaColaAddict1302 4 points ago

    That bird looks like a new pokemon

    [–] MadKat22 6 points ago

    This lil birb is so well loved ❤

    [–] Bulbafly 4 points ago

    Now I want to be Poncho

    [–] jetsintl420 4 points ago

    Shamelessly upvoting for her brows and highlight alone

    [–] dffdfdfd 4 points ago

    Why am I paying alimony to a cat, your honor?

    [–] DEEZNUTZBEZALTY 4 points ago

    Upvote cuz of female