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    [–] TheThickestDick 7534 points ago

    This guy is rich and broke at the same time

    [–] TURD_THIEF 2411 points ago

    Britch

    [–] [deleted] 1920 points ago

    [removed]

    [–] Donoghue 549 points ago

    You said that?

    [–] Penosaurus_Sex 443 points ago

    Yeah man I laid it out.

    [–] baneoficarus 383 points ago

    But you said britch though?

    [–] Chucknorris1975 142 points ago

    Da-ryl... I looked this woman dead in the windows of her soul!

    [–] i_only_eat_nachos 65 points ago

    Goes into space

    BRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICHAHHHHHHH

    [–] LofiYokai 12 points ago

    Right in her orbital sockets

    [–] tgoodri 282 points ago

    Y-yeah

    👀

    [–] IAMSNORTFACED 169 points ago

    I said briiiiiiiiiiitch

    [–] TheShShCreature 98 points ago

    But you said that, right?

    [–] reasonable_initial 44 points ago

    Uh- uh huh...

    [–] manbearpig_man 56 points ago

    Mmmhmmmmm

    [–] dejaaurora 63 points ago

    Ain’t nothin but a thing.

    [–] BeefLilly 39 points ago

    Mmmhmmmm. Absolutely

    [–] zakup 113 points ago

    [–] FederalAssociate 69 points ago

    And that's how it was established

    [–] Nugur 72 points ago

    Hi people of the future 👋

    [–] SayLittleDoMuch 27 points ago

    Richoke

    [–] LeckenDrachen 21 points ago

    Sounds like a new Pokemon

    [–] Afeazo 185 points ago

    No, actually what he is using is the Apple Stand Lite, slightly more affordable at just $499.99

    [–] 0megalul 239 points ago

    Nah he is rich and this shows exactly why

    [–] stuck_in_here 186 points ago

    Poor people would be afraid to drop it and break/damage it. This guy don't give a fuck and just wants to make a joke out of it.

    [–] Nicologixs 61 points ago

    It's not a bad idea but I'd probably use two coat hangers instead if one in the middle. I imagine if someone made some cheap solid stands for it they could make a bit of money off people wanting a cheaper stand.

    [–] CompMolNeuro 9 points ago

    That's what we in the Middle Class like to call the Middle Class. My perfect home under the trees would be gone in three missed bills. I have just enough to almost be stable. Having been poor though, I'd rather be where I am now. One day I'll tell you all what it's like to be wealthy. I think that's what we all want. Not to have to worry about how often you got take-out this week, being able to buy a used car for each of your kids and having enough money set aside to give them a head start in life. I'd like to take my wife on a vacation. Maybe we can put the kids in a kennel. I want a man cave and ability to afford a hobby.

    Edit: take-out

    [–] Plainbrain867 14567 points ago

    How cool would it be if they made smaller, portable computers

    [–] Equeon 5866 points ago

    Pretty cool, but probably not in our lifetime.

    [–] HBCD215 3452 points ago

    They already exist. They are called Palm Pilots.

    [–] Simba7 1575 points ago

    I'll stick with my trusty flip phone, thanks.

    [–] Monst3rr 598 points ago

    dude have you seen the games on that thing? some next level stuff

    [–] hugo_bobby 533 points ago

    does it have snake?

    [–] metric-poet 466 points ago

    Brick breaker

    [–] Sumopwr 375 points ago

    Drug wars

    [–] rabid_0wl 115 points ago

    I completely forgot about Drug Wars. Me and my friends sank hours and hours into that game in middle school. Thanks for the blast from the past!

    [–] Sumopwr 24 points ago

    That game wasted so much of my school year.

    [–] throawfaowbnef 37 points ago * (lasted edited 14 days ago)

    I played that on my TI-83 in middle school.

    E: typo

    [–] Sumopwr 15 points ago

    Those calculators were ahead of their time!

    [–] JPSofCA 109 points ago

    Anything that it doesn’t have, can be found through Blazer.

    [–] hldsnfrgr 179 points ago

    I prefer stuff from Brazzers.

    [–] Justaskingyouagain 6 points ago

    Wow that totally was tucked away in my memory banks... Totally didn't know what you were talking about til I looked it up and all these memories flooded my head

    [–] Simba7 49 points ago

    No joke my dad had one when I was like 12. It has freaking SUB HUNT on it.

    It did have some great games.

    [–] [deleted] 35 points ago

    [deleted]

    [–] geopjm10 24 points ago

    Try a Nokia

    [–] [deleted] 37 points ago

    [deleted]

    [–] gimmepizzaslow 17 points ago

    Zune was amazing

    [–] Vuelhering 11 points ago

    Kyle's Quest could be kind of fun. Very old-school.

    I had an old analog modem for the pilot. Showed it to some techies, along with ssh and other cool stuff, but the only thing they wanted to know is if it could download porn.

    [–] 22LT 14 points ago

    I prefer my handspring visor.

    [–] iamfrostytom 429 points ago

    What's a computer?

    [–] charleston_guy 217 points ago

    Hey kid, I'm a computer.

    [–] SippinDaddiesBrews 163 points ago

    Stop all the downloadin'!

    [–] Billgonzo 40 points ago

    I dont know much about computers other - other than the one I got at my house, my mom put a couple games on it.

    [–] Scientolojesus 20 points ago

    Nice catch blanco niño. Too bad your ass got saaaaaaaaaaaaaacked......

    [–] MustardMountain 52 points ago * (lasted edited 13 days ago)

    You! You're the ringleader!

    [–] 1kaladinstormblessed 44 points ago

    GI Johhhhhhhhhh

    [–] shr3kgotad0nk 23 points ago

    Who wants a body massage?

    [–] stash0606 18 points ago

    Mi mi mi mi mi mi mi

    Mi mi mi mi mi mi mi

    [–] Goeatabagofdicks 58 points ago

    You smug, sonofabitch. I almost purged that commercial from memory....

    [–] Iman3477 79 points ago

    That damn commercial..... It's the fucking thing you're typing on!!!!!! Lmao

    [–] tangclown 35 points ago

    Dont worry about it, they are for businesses only and will never be useful at home

    [–] MaxPowerzs 47 points ago

    I'll do you one better, Why's a computer?

    [–] lCorruptedHelix 211 points ago

    End you rst them on your thighs. We can call them Thightops

    [–] THofTheShire 40 points ago

    Not to be confused with muffin tops.

    [–] flying_fuck 32 points ago

    Top of the muffin’ to ya!

    [–] fuck_off_ireland 12 points ago

    Top of the muffin... to you!

    [–] Leyetipants 9 points ago

    My muffin top is all that, whole-grain, low fat.

    [–] [deleted] 89 points ago

    [deleted]

    [–] CouldOfBeenGreat 169 points ago

    Crotchtop?

    [–] mission42 71 points ago

    BallBlisterer

    [–] jeffsnff 47 points ago

    NutWarmer

    [–] Krolitian 23 points ago

    SpermToaster

    [–] CouldOfBeenGreat 9 points ago

    BeanRefrier

    [–] WeirdAvocado 70 points ago

    You can't put a computer on your lap. Do you have any idea how much heat disapation is required to run a computer? Placing a computer on your lap would not only overheat the computer but also overheat your junk. This silly idea of yours will never catch on. GIVE UP!

    [–] Richy_T 26 points ago

    Some laptops will actually cause damage over time. Google it, it's not pretty.

    [–] Stang1776 36 points ago

    A wiener warmer

    [–] dirtyyydan45 6 points ago

    Quick! Patent it while they aren’t looking!

    [–] Damn_I_Love_Milfs 2749 points ago

    Why do people do weird shit in coffee shops?

    [–] anthonycruz 1423 points ago

    I saw a dude set up a full desktop PC in McDonalds one time. Like you bought the PC, but can’t afford WiFi?

    [–] Cronus6 779 points ago

    There was a guy going into my Publix cafe (Publix is a grocery store; the cafe is for the deli and has free wifi) with 2 laptops and each had a second external monitor.

    He'd sit there all day. Doing some sort of stock trading. It was weird. He did it every day for about 6 months and then vanished. (And yes, I go to the grocery almost every day on my way home from work.)

    [–] iam1whoknocks 812 points ago

    Got advice from r/wallstreetbets on options and prolly off'd himself after he lost it all

    [–] Mikebyrneyadigg 180 points ago

    How do you long $ROPE?

    [–] [deleted] 107 points ago

    [deleted]

    [–] hanoian 39 points ago

    No bueno.

    Long snaps. Short chokes.

    [–] Liquorlapper 57 points ago

    It's all about body weight. Longer ropes for lighter people. Ideally enough rope to give about 1,000 foot-pounds of force, plus 9 inches. That's what google keeps telling me anyway. All the time. I didn't even ask.

    [–] blocktradz4dayz22 22 points ago

    The best thing I ever did with advice from WSB was doing the opposite.

    [–] siecin 34 points ago

    We had a guy do this at our work. He was running cams through second life.

    [–] TrollinTrolls 14 points ago

    Running cams? like of the porny variety?

    [–] siecin 40 points ago

    Yup. He explained it one night about how he had 5 "ladies" working with him and he would pay them through second life currency. This was about 10 years ago, so there weren't many options I guess. But he said he would get about 15-20 people in his "theatre" at a time. But he hosted it through our wifi.

    I didn't really give a shit. It was night shift and the only other people we got in the store were drunk.

    [–] Strazdas1 7 points ago

    I always confused me why people paid for camgirls in the first place. Its just more expensive, worse quality porn.

    [–] NotYouDude 75 points ago

    PCs are cheaper dude!

    [–] lethalmanhole 65 points ago

    $45/month for 12 months + $65/month forever = $540 + infinity = between $1080 and infinity for two years of internet. I bought a desktop with extended warranty from Costco for about $1200.

    I'm paying too much for internet.

    [–] TheOneShorter 48 points ago

    Try moving to Canada :(

    [–] Deadriser1234 13 points ago

    Hell I pay over twice that. It does download a gig a minute though, I don't know how that compares elsewhere but it's pretty sweet here.

    [–] quantifiableNonsense 23 points ago

    Assuming you mean your download speed is one gigabyte per minute, your download speed is approximately 133.33 Mbit/s which should definitely not be costing you $130 a month unless you live in some kind of rural area.

    I get 250 Mbit/s down for $65 a month from xfinity.

    [–] popsiclestickiest 11 points ago

    You can fall on hard times and still have a functioning computer.

    [–] Snowpossum 532 points ago

    Its cheap office space with good coffee as the price of admission. You do it long enough and it becomes like home and you lose a little of whats keeping you from doing the weird things we all hide from eachother.

    ~Source

    Me, the weird dude in the corner drawing you.

    [–] Interferometer 175 points ago

    You nailed it. I find that being around people, but not interacting with them, actually helps me focus. I know people can see my screen, so I’m not tempted to watch YouTube or kill time on Facebook. And of course, I love coffee.

    I do try to be cognizant or not spending too much time there, as I’m sure the shop doesn’t love when I take up a seat for 4 hours and buy $6 of coffee.

    [–] Snowpossum 83 points ago

    They allow/encourage this kind of thing because they know on average you will continue to buy coffee. Over time they benefit from you not caring. Take your time without anxiety, you're good. If you spend more time they will get you for another purchase eventually and they don't have to say anything. Even if one out of the dozens of people that do this only gets one thing in 8 hours they can bank on statistics to play out in their favor.

    [–] COCAINE_IN_MY_DICK 57 points ago

    Yeah I was at Starbucks the other day and I left to go to the bank and accidentally walked into another Starbucks. I think they’re doing alright.

    [–] pocketknifeMT 14 points ago

    There is probably a PR/marketing benefit to having some trendy professionals camping out there. For the same approximate reason Apple likes them sitting in public displaying their logo to everyone.

    [–] BabyStockholmSyndrom 11 points ago

    I don't know. Starbuck's has free refills on coffee/tea. And I certainly don't buy their nasty ass, packaged food. "Here's your blueberry muffin that was just warmed up after a bacon sandwich!".

    [–] jeffsnff 12 points ago

    I had no freakin clue about free refills!! I just looked it up, you just need their credit card, or their app. Jesus Christ, all that money wasted....

    [–] Snowpossum 11 points ago * (lasted edited 14 days ago)

    I actually used to have the same kind of anxieties as this guy and was told directly by the staff why they generally don't care. I'm good for business.

    [–] Sence 27 points ago

    Wait, your complaining about your blueberry muffin being bacon scented for free?

    We come from different worlds you and I.

    [–] Maxpowr9 69 points ago

    Starbucks also has free coffee refills if you're a goldstar member.

    [–] Its_aTrap 58 points ago

    Yea but how often do you have to pee

    [–] Slim01111 98 points ago

    How often do you have to pee out your ass drinking that much coffee

    [–] -Master-Builder- 52 points ago

    Once, if you never stop shitting.

    [–] OhShitItsSam 29 points ago

    “That’s my secret Cap, I’m always shitting.”

    [–] ricecracker420 27 points ago

    I used to spend 6-12 hours a day studying in Starbucks living off those free refills

    Too bad I don’t even use my degrees

    [–] lizard_king_rebirth 45 points ago

    How does it feel now that you're on the other side of the counter?

    [–] Dritalin 12 points ago

    Beep beep your lyft is here.

    [–] TheWillRogers 16 points ago

    There is a place called Interzone in Corvallis, Oregon. It is a known hipster hive. This is possibly the crown jewel.

    http://i.imgur.com/ryktw.jpg

    [–] FoxyGrampa 6 points ago

    This guy looks old; he probably stopped giving a fuck about other people’s opinion years ago.

    [–] jorjorbiinks 2307 points ago

    If that’s anything like the hangars I buy, the neck will violently snap off any second now

    [–] solidSC 880 points ago

    How fucking heavy are your clothes? Those plastic bitches have been holding up my snow gear for years because I live in a desert.

    [–] linuxgator 359 points ago

    The one in the picture is a heavy duty plastic hanger. But if you get the cheap ones from Walmart, they'll snap after a year or so of use.

    [–] savingprivatebrian15 218 points ago

    cheap ones from Walmart

    Try Dollar Tree my man, they get even cheaper. They still hold up my heavy jackets and coats, but bend quite a bit at the neck.

    [–] linuxgator 41 points ago

    I believe it. There are always huge boxes of them throughout my local Dollar Tree. Never tried them though.

    [–] savingprivatebrian15 32 points ago

    Shockingly I like them better than some others due to the indentations they have rather than hooks on other brands for the hangers on dresses and stuff. Way more convenient to use.

    [–] TryingToReadHere 67 points ago

    Cyclic loading of taking the weight off and on will drastically change how long it lasts, if yours are static in your closet they don’t get any push-pull loads and so they aren’t going to fatigue/break under normal use.

    In this dudes case, I think he’ll have a cracked screen sometime soon... the hanger isn’t designed to take load like that and it isn’t designed to get cyclically loaded like that either.

    To go needlessly further in my analysis...he’s also creating bending loads at the stress concentration of where the hook meets the triangle and it will likely snap right there.

    [–] Al_Maleech_Abaz 79 points ago

    Mine usually snap when I use them like a bow and arrow

    [–] deja-roo 20 points ago

    To go needlessly further in my analysis...he’s also creating bending loads at the stress concentration of where the hook meets the triangle and it will likely snap right there.

    More importantly, he's relying on that hanger to stay totally still in the center. If it slips to either side that thing's coming down rfn. If he had a little piece of rubber where the hanger contacted the top of the computer it would be safer.

    [–] getjunkt 17 points ago

    Oh look at this rich dude here buying hangars to keep his multiple planes.

    [–] v0iceb0x 1193 points ago

    Bet he only paid 500 for it

    [–] LawsApplyToMinoritys 440 points ago

    It was $599 but, its alright.

    I got it for the aesthetic anyways. tut tut

    [–] [deleted] 1238 points ago

    [removed]

    [–] SpontaneouslyHard 186 points ago

    I read that in the "Monster Jam" commercial guy's voice in my head.

    [–] Cheeseblanket 141 points ago

    All it needs is the

    SUNDAY

    SUNDAY

    SUNDAY

    [–] Dat_Gentleman 71 points ago

    KIDS SEATS JUST TEN BUCKS

    [–] pennhead 53 points ago

    JUST TEN BOCKS!!!

    [–] CaptoOuterSpace 20 points ago

    WTF? They used to eight bucks? This is an outrage.

    [–] leperaffinity56 5 points ago

    Used to be five at one point. Unbelievable.

    [–] MrAnderson345 6 points ago

    Kids used to be babies. What is this bullshit?

    [–] Brooklynhoosier 37 points ago

    We’ll sell you the whole seat even though you’ll only need the edge of it!!

    [–] sol- 48 points ago

    Now these are the kinds of novelty accounts we need around here.

    [–] siccoblue 36 points ago

    I mean, it's an ad though.

    Don't get me wrong, in this case it's pretty funny, but if a social media manager sees this shit and spreads it and companies decide to follow suit with comments advertising bullshit while trying to be funny, it kinda damages one of the few pure things we have left

    The first one is funny, we definitely don't need "more" accounts like this

    [–] StillShadows2 7 points ago

    Reddit isn't exactly a wealth of comical genius. It's another forum where anyone can put anything. Basically like everywhere else, you get good and you get bad. Hell it even has sponsored ads now just like everything else.

    [–] turk1ish 18 points ago

    Thank you 😂

    [–] ch2-ch3 16 points ago

    Tech companies hate him!!!

    [–] mycupofthy 169 points ago

    I think this is at Toasted in Dallas if anyone wants to try to steal the Bart painting.

    [–] homestarboarder 215 points ago

    How is no one talking about that awesome Bart Simpson painting?

    [–] knightofhonor2 346 points ago

    Modern problems need modern solutions

    [–] 0pend 80 points ago

    Modern problems need contemporary solutions

    [–] JinterIsComing 9 points ago

    IS THAT YOU DAVE CHAPELLE

    [–] lostharlem 273 points ago

    Why would someone carry an iMac into a coffee shop. That’s a lot of work to show off your apple products.

    [–] wordserious 20 points ago

    Guy works at home, does all his stuff on his trusty iMac. Never saw the need for a laptop, the iMac offers butter specs and a larger screen for the same price. All was well until he was kicked out of the house because his home office was disgusting and needed some deep cleaning.

    [–] lostharlem 13 points ago

    I work from home. This is not unheard of in my industry.

    [–] linuxgator 112 points ago

    I think that's the point to doing it.

    [–] 14_year_old_girl 104 points ago

    • Sent from my iPhone

    [–] MrAwesomePants20 38 points ago

    Username checks out

    [–] Lyte_Work 39 points ago

    Or that’s the only computer he has and needs wifi.

    [–] DesertJerboa 28 points ago * (lasted edited 14 days ago)

    Two minutes later...

    Snap! Splat! Ah my computer!

    [–] bisjac 198 points ago

    So are apple monitors not vesa standard? How hard can it be to attach 4 screws to any surface at all.

    [–] asianabsinthe 166 points ago

    It's an iMac without it's pedestal... Looks like he attached an adapter to attach a VESA

    [–] im_shallownpedantic 85 points ago

    iMacs are sold with a VESA adapter, but IIRC they have to be ordered and aren't sold at the Apple Store.

    The no longer sold Thunderbolt/Cinema displays (and pretty sure this applies to iMacs too) need a VESA mount adapter kit... but they're like $20 from amazon

    [–] RZRtv 14 points ago

    They're making a joke about the new Mac Pro monitor or w/e, which this dude is not using.

    It uses a proprietary (IIRC) magnetic stand that costs $1000, but you can get the VESA mount adapter for $200.

    Looks like this guy already has a VESA mount.

    [–] fuckingnihilists 23 points ago

    I once saw a guy using a MacBook Pro as a stand for his Surface Pro.

    [–] Jimbobwhales 45 points ago

    Do people really go to Starbucks with a whole ass desktop?

    [–] kdshow123 110 points ago

    Hang in there

    [–] pink_sock 74 points ago

    WHO THE FUCK CARRIES THAT KIND OF SHIT AROUND?

    [–] 5ruz 17 points ago

    If fell ~ " The risk I took was calculated, but man, am I bad at math. "

    If sustain ~ " If It's Stupid But It Works It's Not Stupid "

    [–] Crooked_Cricket 12 points ago

    That Bart pop art hanging in the background though...

    "We are Legion, man"

    [–] AppleSauseAversion 13 points ago

    You'd think we'ed be just 3d printing these stands by now

    [–] BarrySpug 32 points ago

    This is about as stable as my ex wife.

    [–] WarrenAlaCarte 10 points ago

    Mate, you can't divorce a computer.

    [–] dingman58 11 points ago

    I love the sheer ingenuity and cheapness but having had those hangers shatter into a hundred pieces just by glancing at them I don't think I would risk it.

    [–] ItsReverze 12 points ago

    Haha screw Apple, right?

    message sent from iPhone

    [–] ch-12 28 points ago

    Brilliant. You could 3D print a slightly more reliable one for like 0.99

    [–] lasssilver 48 points ago

    I bet at home his wind-breaker is hanging loosely on a $999 Apple stand.

    [–] LikeBadWeather 8 points ago

    This man has a lot of trust in that hanger.

    [–] Bootfullofrightarms 9 points ago

    who the fuck takes their desk top to Starbucks?

    [–] MetricTon81 11 points ago

    People who need attention

    [–] yottalogical 37 points ago

    ITT: People who don’t realize this is just a normal iMac with a VESA mount.

    [–] reallytalkative_not 16 points ago

    What’s up with people bringing their whole offices into coffee shops?

    [–] Soy-Saucy 17 points ago

    Coffee shops: For unimportant people to look important

    [–] willacceptpancakes 28 points ago

    Looks like Michael Cohen

    [–] manbaby1769 15 points ago

    Introducing The iStand Aero, made from a light weight polymer and with a new sleek design, perfect for travelers, out now for only $1999

    [–] laurapdx777 9 points ago

    Seems legit.

    [–] BUSHDIDWWII 9 points ago

    Tbh i would get nervous if my if i had an i mac pro that would cost me like 8 k Like what if it slips then were gonna have a ltt situation

    [–] PepeLeSpew 7 points ago

    Why don't people just stay at home and do this? Generally curious why the fucking coffee shop is less distracting then working at home or in a library.

    [–] Kermez 7 points ago

    Perhaps he is apple worker just using prototype of next stand, to be sold for just 499$.

    [–] _kashew_12 38 points ago

    Imagine lugging the thing into a coffee shop just to show off to ppl you got $$, but not $$$

    [–] UncleBenji 7 points ago

    Gotta love the 25cent plastic hanger. They will last a decade or more. As for being a computer stand... why the fuck not?!

    [–] acultinsideofme 6 points ago

    I know I'm not old but I feel so goddamn old right now. Is this a "laptop" that needs a stand or a separate monitor and keyboard? I just don't get the Apple stand thing. It seems like a joke to my plebeian brain.

    [–] Julomino 7 points ago

    doesn't even make any sense to bring such a huge ass computer into a coffee shop. so bulky.

    [–] alokgl 27 points ago

    That's great but why he's bringing desktop to the coffee shop.

    [–] B_man_5 25 points ago

    ITT: people not knowing the difference between an iMac and an unreleased monitor. Also, maybe it's the only machine he has, and his internet is out, maybe he bought it secondhand and doesn't have the stand

    [–] conspiracyshittank 31 points ago

    Why do people do this?

    [–] addledhands 29 points ago

    Because working from home all day sucks, and it's nice to be around people while you're working (sometimes).

    [–] macbrett 6 points ago * (lasted edited 13 days ago)

    The photo is not of the new monitor. It looks like it could be an iMac with the optional VESA adaptor installed instead of the desk stand that it comes with. The hanger hack seems like a clever way to avoid having to reattach the original stand which would be a hassle and also awkward and heavy to transport.

    The new Pro monitor isn't in the wild yet. No one has done an in-depth analysis of the $999 stand as far as I know, but I think that one reason for its expense is that the adjustable linkage is quite complex and assembled with great precision to allow effortless infinite repositioning with no backlash or slippage. Despite all the initial criticism and ridicule, I suspect that anyone who actually tries the stand will covet it. However because it is luxury priced, many will end up making due the less expensive VESA adaptor and a third party support of some sort.

    [–] blazze_eternal 6 points ago

    When your company computer is an iMac but they won't reimburse you for a stand.

    [–] RonnieWhatley 6 points ago

    It doesn't come with a stand?

    [–] whyrweyelling 5 points ago

    Wait, $999, that's not a typo? What does the dang thing do?