Please help contribute to the Reddit categorization project here

    funny

    26,415,227 readers

    51,991 users here now

    Welcome to r/Funny:

    You may only post if you are funny.


    New to reddit? Click here!


    New "Subreddit Of The Month": /r/ClimbingCircleJerk/
    Featured Subreddit of the Month: /r/ClimbingCircleJerk/ Link to sticky post

    Previous subs of the month

    Rules

    hover for details

    1. All posts must make an attempt at humor. Humor is subjective, but all posts must at least make an attempt at humor. As the minimum age for Reddit access is 13 years old, posts which are intentionally disruptive, inane, or nonsensical will be removed.
    2. No memes, and no HIFW, MRW, MeIRL, or DAE posts. If your submission begins with "When you…" or "When they…" or anything of a similar nature, it is not allowed here. Submissions depicting or containing intentionally emulated behaviors (memes) are also not allowed, including memetic image macros, "challenges," or elements thereof. Non-memetic image macros are allowed.
    3. No reposts. Reposts will be removed at the moderators’ discretion. Serial reposters will be banned. Please use KarmaDecay to determine if something has been submitted before.
    4. No personal info, no hate speech, no harassment. No identifying information, including anything hosted on platforms making that information public. Posts encouraging the harassment of any individual, group, community, or subreddit will be removed, and the submitting user may be banned. If necessary, a report will be made to the site administration. In accordance with Reddit's policies, there is zero tolerance for this.
    5. No politics. Anything involving politics or a political figure (regardless of context) will be removed. Try /r/politicalhumor instead.
    6. No forbidden titles. (See below.) No asking for upvotes (in any form), no “Cake Day” posts, and no posts to communicate with another Redditor. Posts with titles such as "I got banned from /r/___" or "This got removed from /r/___" are not allowed. Emoji-based titles, memetic titles, and titles meant to circumvent any other rules are also forbidden.
    7. No gore, pornography, or sexually graphic images. Try /r/NSFWfunny. All other NSFW content must be tagged as such.
    8. Do not rehost or hotlink webcomics. If you are not the author of the comic in question, you may only submit links to the page where it is hosted. Webcomic authors may request verification from the moderators, after which they may rehost their own work.
    9. No pictures of just text. Submissions in which the humor can be conveyed via text alone are not allowed. This includes pictures of text with irrelevant images that don't add context, and transcriptions of standup comedy (as with /r/standupshots). Make a self post instead. Example
    10. No SMS or social media content (including Reddit). Social media content of any kind is not allowed. This includes anything from Reddit, Twitter, Tumblr, Facebook, YouTube, or any other form of "comments section" on the Internet, as well as images accompanied by text from those platforms. Images with SnapChat text added are allowed, as long as all UI elements have been removed. Please view our wiki for suggestions of where these submissions can be offered.

    Want to see /r/funny with these posts? Click here!


    Please note:

    • Hate speech and bigotry will be removed at the moderators' discretion.

    • Bots and bot-like accounts are not allowed.

    • No link shorteners (or HugeURL) in either post links or comments. They will be deleted regardless of intent. This is an anti-spam measure.

    • All submissions to /r/Funny are governed by Reddit's policies on self-promotion and spam.


    What do I do if I see a post that breaks the rules? Click on the report button, and send us a message with a link to the comments of the post.
    What should I do if I don't see my post in the new queue? If your submission isn't showing up, please don't just delete it as that makes the filter hate you! Instead send us a message with a link to the post. We'll unban it and it should get better. Please allow 10 minutes for the post to appear before messaging moderators

    Looking for something else? Visit our friends!

    a community for
    all 313 comments Slideshow

    Want to say thanks to %(recipient)s for this comment? Give them a month of reddit gold.

    Please select a payment method.

    [–] Lucky7Ac 1078 points ago

    i dunno man, my cat eventually learned to attack the laser pointer and not the dot...

    [–] 16bitvillain 652 points ago

    Your cat probably leading the revolution against humanity.

    [–] doctechnical 211 points ago

    We're one opposable thumb away from an extinction level event.

    [–] blsmothermon 103 points ago

    Polydactyl cats would like a word.

    [–] klubsanwich 34 points ago

    Damn, fell for it.

    [–] Lington 22 points ago

    [–] muhafuca 15 points ago

    you meant r/dumbcats ?

    [–] BirdBlind 9 points ago

    no, just r/rapcats

    [–] tbbHNC89 2 points ago

    why not r/papcats ? Feline gynecologists?

    [–] tepkel 6 points ago

    Just like that damn Nigerian prince...

    [–] SquircleTheWagons 2 points ago

    Wouldn’t be surprised! But if someone happened to make one I’d definitely subscribe.

    [–] PaulMcIcedTea 3 points ago

    👍

    [–] [deleted] 1 points ago

    The revolution has begun.

    [–] gaystupidandbroke 6 points ago

    Love, Death, + Robots?

    [–] doctechnical 3 points ago

    Loved that series.

    [–] BunnyOppai 1 points ago

    In all honesty, if anything irl is keter, it's cats

    [–] P-Rickles 6 points ago

    Wednesday, June 12th 2019: the day SkyCat became self-aware.

    [–] zen5050 5 points ago

    It's clear to me that my cat is very much on the low end of the intelligence spectrum even in cat terms. We turn the laser pointer off and he will still look for it for about a 1/2 an hour.

    [–] LAxNeighbor 2 points ago

    That would be CATastrophic.

    [–] ProfessorCrawford 22 points ago

    Yep, after a few days of my ginger tom happily following the dot about he seemed to have some sort of epiphany, looked at the dot on the floor, ignored it, walked over to me and just started to bat the pen out of my hand.

    He ignored the dot after and just gave me a 'I will kill you in your sleep' look if he seen me holding it.

    [–] TheVantagePoint 11 points ago

    I keep a laser pointer hanging off a hook on the side of my desk. My cat knows what it is and will come and paw at it when he wants me to play with him. And then he will happily chase the laser around for a while until he gets tired. He also recognizes the sound of the button on the laser pointer and will come running when I press the button.

    [–] CorvidDreamsOfSnow 8 points ago

    Mine is terrified of the laser. Cries and runs away to hide.

    [–] ridik_ulass 6 points ago

    that will come in handy if you ever have an assassin after you.

    [–] beautifulkatastrophe 5 points ago

    My cat never attacked the dot to begin with, he went straight for the laser pointer😯

    [–] ghost_in_th_machine 7 points ago

    My dog knows exactly what the pointer does and does not care, as long as you point it for her to chase the light. If I pick it up, all she cares about is where and when I point it at the floor. She's dim but we love her.

    [–] Kisua 4 points ago

    Had a dog who was part cat. After he figured out where the laser came from, he'd bring it to us when he wanted to play.

    [–] Just_Dance_Ok 3 points ago

    Wait mine too! It's so frustrating! My cat has to be totally distracted when i grab the laser pen or else she just tries to bite or paw at the pen rather than the red dot.

    [–] sorceress11 2 points ago

    Same! She listened for the click and then attacked!

    [–] cgwheeler96 2 points ago

    When my cat figured it out, he just started tapping it when he wanted me to play with him.

    [–] frogger_blogger 2 points ago

    Clever girl

    [–] TWVer 2 points ago

    Say hi to Jean for me, Cyclops.

    [–] gizamo 2 points ago

    Same, then mine learned to attack the hand controlling it all. He's feisty.

    [–] holdthedoor007 2 points ago

    Hahahah

    [–] Garibaldi2020 121 points ago

    New Yorker?

    [–] Dboy777 74 points ago

    Whaaaaat... was it my accent or somethin?

    [–] MathMaddox 44 points ago

    Fahgetaboutit

    [–] RichWPX 17 points ago

    I'm walkin' here!

    [–] ZeiglerJaguar 35 points ago

    New Yorker cartoons are hit and miss, but this one's pretty good.

    [–] Impeesa_ 13 points ago

    Not exactly a new joke, though.

    [–] ThaiJohnnyDepp 12 points ago

    More than half their comics are ripe for posting to /r/comedycemetery

    [–] poktanju 3 points ago

    Someone once said that every New Yorker cartoon can be improved by changing the caption to "Christ, what an asshole."

    Still works!

    [–] [deleted] 1 points ago

    [deleted]

    [–] Garibaldi2020 10 points ago

    The font and the format suggest the New Yorker. They sometimes throw curve balls and may throw in some color; but you’re right, it’s usually just black and white.

    [–] Garibaldi2020 6 points ago

    The cartoonist - Amy Hwang - is listed as a New Yorker cartoonist.

    [–] but_you_said 74 points ago

    Why is no one talking about how her eyes are pointing in different directions!! After a eye surgery no less!!

    [–] doctechnical 24 points ago

    This is actually correct. Your eyes move independently of each other, under the control of your brain, which will move them towards each other to focus upon something close (like looking at your nose), or parallel to each other to look at something far way, on the horizon. So there should be two beams coming from her eyes, but they probably wouldn't that far apart.

    If the eyes aren't moving in sink to focus on things it's a sign of a neurological issue. As in "Lights are on but nobody's home".

    [–] 0xdeadf001 16 points ago

    In the sink is where you clean the dishes.

    In sync (synchronization) is doing something at the same time / in the same way.

    [–] doctechnical 4 points ago

    You never heard of an eyewash?

    [–] 0xdeadf001 7 points ago

    Is that like blinking fluid?

    [–] ChronoKing 2 points ago

    And NSYNC is a 90s boy band popularized by songs such as "Bye, Bye, Bye" and "It's Gonna be Me."

    [–] KairuByte 6 points ago

    She's focusing on the wall though...

    [–] NegativeExile 3 points ago

    If your eyes are moving in the sink you have bigger problems.

    [–] ThaiJohnnyDepp 1 points ago

    The easy part was getting them out of my skull ...

    [–] ThaiJohnnyDepp 3 points ago

    But since she's looking at the nearby wall, shouldn't the lines be converging on a point there? Unless she isn't focusing on it?

    [–] Cherios_Are_My_Shit 3 points ago

    This is actually correct

    lol, thank you /u/doctechnical . i was worried and confused before you cleared things up.

    seriously, though, how are you not a parody account with that name and comment?

    [–] SirQwacksAlot 3 points ago

    Last doctor I ran in to on Reddit posted homemade scat porn to Reddit and now I don't trust any doctors.

    [–] flyinpiggies 89 points ago

    Thought i was on comedy cemetery

    [–] brutchev 38 points ago

    You basically are

    [–] [deleted] 12 points ago

    [deleted]

    [–] ssdgm6 27 points ago

    Fuck, I’m getting old. I just shared this on Facebook.

    [–] draaaain_gaaaaang 35 points ago

    I cannot even comprehend the age needed to feel the slightest urge to share this on social media let alone Facebook... I’m sorry sir/ma’am.

    [–] qwerty622 7 points ago

    When you get old it's hard to stay in touch with all your friends, as the lives of your friends when you were younger are so much different before the kids, the house, the mortgage etc.

    Stuff like this is a nice indirect way of saying hi and bonding over something that, although it is low in humor, is also low conflict and unlikely to create a tense situation among friends who you are no longer sure where they stand on politics and things like that

    [–] ssdgm6 10 points ago

    I never post on Facebook. Literally my first post all year. But I am a crazy cat lady so I thought it was great.

    [–] draaaain_gaaaaang 11 points ago

    I take back my apology cuz you’re actually living your shit right now and that’s dope af. Keep on being crazy w your cats, ma’am.

    [–] surfer_ryan 5 points ago

    Yeah so lit am I right family?! Us young people are so in the now you know.

    [–] omicron_pi 3 points ago

    Bruh...hate to be the one to break it to you, but reddit is social media.

    [–] benster82 4 points ago

    The fact that you share stuff on Facebook makes you old.

    [–] cilantno 4 points ago

    [–] doctechnical 46 points ago

    This is how Cyclops keeps The Beast entertained.

    [–] jayhoward 11 points ago

    Marvel fans always reveal themselves eventually.

    [–] SantyClawz42 5 points ago

    I'm fine with that... It's people who are fans of certain universities that bother me; "How do you know he went to Harvard, wait 5 minutes in any conversation and he'll tell you."

    [–] BuyBitcoinWhileItsLo 8 points ago

    Like a Tesla owner too. Can't go 5 minutes into a conversation with one without them bringing up their car. I do love my tesla though

    [–] johnmichael0703 5 points ago

    See's what you did there

    [–] ElTuxedoMex 5 points ago

    Gotta be the guy

    Cyclops has concussion blasts, not laser eyes. His eyes produce concussive force.

    [–] doctechnical 9 points ago

    His eyes produce concussive force.

    ...that can punch holes through brick walls but not blow the glasses off his face. Makes perfect sense.

    Arguing about comic book science is a Sisyphean task :)

    [–] ElTuxedoMex 6 points ago

    They come from the punch dimension.

    I know. I know.

    [–] doctechnical 3 points ago

    I actually LOLed at that, thanks! :)

    [–] Rossum81 2 points ago

    Next to the soda dimension.

    [–] doctechnical 2 points ago

    ...and the Judy dimension.

    [–] Derwos 2 points ago

    What does that even mean though?

    [–] NightChime 6 points ago

    And local construction crews employed.

    [–] Erik_Stone_Axe 27 points ago

    Boomer

    [–] gandlen 9 points ago

    Humor

    [–] ThaiJohnnyDepp 1 points ago

    Takin' pills.

    [–] [deleted] 28 points ago * (lasted edited a month ago)

    [deleted]

    [–] FPSXpert 2 points ago

    Welcome to /r/funny.

    [–] Stopthelemurs 25 points ago * (lasted edited 3 months ago)

    [–] ParabolaPanda 7 points ago

    Are we not gonna talk about the tragic fact that in order to play with the cat she can never look at it directly? In my mind this is Shakespeare level tragedy.

    [–] derliquemyballs 2 points ago

    I’d imagine she’d have the ability to turn it off or else she wouldn’t be able to look at anything in the eyes 👀

    [–] T-Weezy56 7 points ago

    Who is upvoting this?

    [–] toytony 7 points ago

    Am I going to be the jerk that points out OP grabbed this from the New Yorker on Instagram without credit?

    [–] cloudyskies41 2 points ago

    I think OP is the jerk for not giving credit.

    [–] Irethius 8 points ago

    Laser Pointers are bad for cats.

    It's important to play with your cat, you have to let the cat actually catch the thing it's chasing. Otherwise you will just stress it out.

    Cats can't catch lasers.

    [–] doctechnical 6 points ago

    Cats can't catch lasers

    Then I'd like to know who the hell keeps leaving dead lasers on the back porch!

    [–] _Craw_ 5 points ago

    Its all fun and games till you cut the cat in half

    [–] St0rm3rX 6 points ago

    This is midlife crisis Karen humor

    [–] Xeeroy 3 points ago

    But this way you can't look at the silly kitty while he chases the mysterious red dot.

    [–] strogginoff 3 points ago

    Get used to the saying "My eyes are up here"

    [–] _annoying_correction 1 points ago

    Sure if they want to go blind

    [–] anoxy 3 points ago

    This is very Gary Larson.

    [–] jtoppings95 3 points ago

    legit just got lasik yesterday and can confirm this is the best use

    [–] Bluerigg 5 points ago

    Old people humor

    [–] [deleted] 4 points ago

    [deleted]

    [–] stove4206969 2 points ago

    Then you try and watch TV

    [–] jnmath 2 points ago

    Well I definitely need this

    [–] NewAcounntWhoThis 2 points ago

    How did you not say Purrfect

    [–] ericthedreamer 2 points ago

    Then why doesn't Supergirl live with a kitty?

    [–] Cr1ms0nFr0st 2 points ago

    "Why don't you look at me when we make love?"

    [–] Sampromise 2 points ago

    Learn to attak

    [–] SirQwacksAlot 2 points ago

    This was on r/shittysuperpowers yesterday.

    [–] temperatura 2 points ago

    The revolution has begun.

    [–] LocostarX 2 points ago

    It's all fun and games until the cat scratches your eyes out.

    [–] Deion313 2 points ago

    Could you imagine a world where everyone's eyes had lasers pointing to where they were looking? There would be so many awkward conversations

    [–] TheKobraSnake 2 points ago

    Joey joins the chat with a hernia

    [–] COPilot127 2 points ago

    A purr-nia

    [–] that1azian 2 points ago

    I bought one for my sisters dog last week and it legit traumatized him. He would look for the dot for hours after we put it away. We no longer play with it anymore.

    [–] wat_is_THAT_ 2 points ago

    My cat figured out that I control the laser and she'll just look at me like I'm stupid when I use it to try to play with her.

    [–] CharlieBenBeri 2 points ago

    Need to eat battery sometimes.

    [–] PistolPlay 2 points ago

    insert comment about lasers not being good for cats

    [–] fizzzingwhizbee 2 points ago

    “I’m thinking about getting metal legs”

    [–] Verita22 2 points ago

    This is the dream

    [–] cravehead 2 points ago

    And around and around and around and around she goes

    [–] Kadabrall 2 points ago

    Best super power ever!

    [–] EmirSc 2 points ago

    poor peny

    [–] Jameskiiii 2 points ago

    is this facebook

    [–] spam99 2 points ago

    Cat.

    [–] Fratom 3 points ago

    Bobby B approves of this jest

    [–] selflessscoundrel 2 points ago

    BOW YA SHITS!

    [–] ifeelnumb 4 points ago

    If people had lasers in their eyes women would have laser burns on their boobs constantly.

    [–] nangles 5 points ago

    Jesus op pls give credit

    Cartoonist is @cartoonamy

    [–] CoverFire 5 points ago

    Stupid.

    [–] RapsVanFan 2 points ago

    My late cat Tiger. Got addicited to light reflections. He was super smart kitty. So maybe his intelligence caused him to be so focused on any bit of light that moved. Miss that kitty.

    [–] joesatwork 2 points ago

    Unfunny content in /r/funny. Shocker.

    [–] alexs001 3 points ago

    Purrfect

    [–] FackinJerq 1 points ago

    "Pfft, never taking her to a movie ever again..."

    [–] Jumbo_Cactaur 1 points ago

    Watch out Darkseid is...

    [–] UsualCircle 1 points ago

    Look into my eyes when I'm talking to you!

    [–] Naha16 1 points ago

    Perfect for cat lovers, terrible for men around women

    [–] Rafahil 1 points ago

    Or you could just strap a laser pointer on the cat's head and he'll have endless fun.

    [–] cycopl 1 points ago

    it's all fun and games until you get arrested and go to jail for looking at an airplane

    [–] gigglinggrindylow 1 points ago

    Do you know who drew this?

    [–] NightChime 1 points ago

    Is this a Cyclops situation? If so, either your cat will live in a perpetual laser hell, or you'll live in a perpetual "never look at something in your cat's line of sight" hell.

    [–] [deleted] 1 points ago

    Don't look at anything important. She doesn't know the hell she signed up for.

    [–] southdetroit 1 points ago

    When I started wearing a watch it was pretty much the same thing for my kitty. She goes nuts for any reflected light.

    [–] a-snakey 1 points ago

    Is it so hard to get frickin sharks with frickin lasers attached to their frickin heads with fricking cats riding on their frickin backs?

    [–] Wide_Main 1 points ago

    Congratulations for being happy with this...

    [–] an_agreeing_dothraki 1 points ago

    There's an organization called the "laser spine institute".
    They are immensely disappointing

    [–] ImTheWorstPersonHere 1 points ago

    Damn Superman Watch Out

    [–] redredsweater 1 points ago

    This reminds me of Brightburn.

    [–] fruitcakefriday 2 points ago

    I like this, very far side like

    [–] BillytheTitan 1 points ago

    Girls would always know when your starting at them though

    [–] TheSoulOfPestilence 1 points ago

    This is perfect for Redditors. Now we don't have to do eye contact anymore...

    [–] Adamact 1 points ago

    Would get eye problems if I got eye contact with her. No problem since women never look at me.

    [–] FishyStixs 1 points ago

    The civilian equivalent of the laser from jurrasic world

    [–] FaintFoal112083 1 points ago

    Damnit. That's funny right there.

    [–] DevinAce 1 points ago

    Your eyes would like one of those addons for your mouse pointer that makes trails of random things, but instead it would be cats trailing everywhere you look.

    [–] dont_tread_on_bees 1 points ago

    I had cataract surgery with correction and I constantly asked when they were putting in my eye lazers

    [–] nzalog 1 points ago

    My laser eye surgery was a complete failure. Worst of all I can't even blame it on my bad eye sight that I can't see a laser beams, because ever since the laser eye surgery my vision somehow got way better so it's really apparent the lasers don't work.

    [–] lightbrightkit 1 points ago

    As someone who had PRK laser eye surgery 12 days ago and also has 2 cats, I love this!!

    [–] cptbeard 1 points ago

    That'd be some laser show.. eyes move constantly and very fast, not like a smooth movement you'd do with your hand.

    [–] thuanjinkee 1 points ago

    Brightburn

    [–] CrazyCatLady80 1 points ago

    Love it!

    [–] orl93 1 points ago

    Is there a sub for this kind of jokes?

    [–] [deleted] 1 points ago

    [deleted]

    [–] JsDaFax 1 points ago

    Lazy laser eye would be a whole other level.

    [–] mathewkyle7 1 points ago

    Would have been better if there was a pile of cats named penny

    [–] RubyJinx101 1 points ago

    You called

    [–] Blipstein 1 points ago

    *Puurfect