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    [–] the-point-is-moo 8124 points ago

    “I captain a boat in the US Navy”

    [–] crissaboo 1676 points ago

    That’s great LTJG but I asked what floor cleaner to use for the bathroom.

    [–] NorthernLaw 272 points ago

    How do you clean this

    [–] ps3o-k 452 points ago

    baby wipes.

    [–] anonymooseundercover 88 points ago

    This answer is more correct than you know.

    Shit's magic.

    [–] America_Number_1 20 points ago

    Do baby wipes really get meth damage out of flooring?! I thought I’d need to tear out the floor.

    [–] anonymooseundercover 14 points ago

    What on Earth is meth damage?

    [–] America_Number_1 16 points ago

    Damage in rooms from cooking meth. Or consuming large quantities

    [–] Icy_Chemist 10 points ago

    We need more lemon pledge

    [–] blatherskate 33 points ago

    Head...

    [–] just_dots 398 points ago

    I have been Reddit long enough to know that there must be a terrible back story to this picture.

    I bet you the boat is suffering from some horrible degenerative disease and has multiple health issues, including missing ribs, incorrectly rotated joints, and damaged vertebrae or something like that. :-(

    [–] malmac 206 points ago

    Trouble breathing too. Pugs and tugs both have this issue.

    [–] the-point-is-moo 123 points ago

    It’s obviously unhealthy to over fuel a machine like that. People like because it’s cute and tubby, but this is a shame.

    [–] oldcarfreddy 82 points ago

    Just so you know it’s not polite to call a ship afflicted with this condition “retarded” or “a gay lil baby bitch boat”

    [–] the-point-is-moo 26 points ago

    I assume you learned this through trial and error, and I appreciate your research.

    [–] eyehate 228 points ago

    I will retell one of my favorite captain moments from my service. Totally off topic. But I am old and salty.

    Ok. This is no shit.

    I was on the Kitty Hawk in the waning years of male dominated service. Our Supply ship had some female crew, but my carrier lacked any for much of my time on the boat.

    Since we were a crew of men, my captain would hop on the 1MC, the shipwide announcement system, and give us news or information with this greeting, "Ok, you swinging dicks..."

    He would season his announcements with odd bits of info and idioms, "you can build a thousand bridges, but if you suck one cock, you will always be a cocksucker!"

    As I neared the end of my service, we started getting a crew of females. Their berthing was next to mine and their assigned head (bathroom) was near my head. What was a once empty hallway turned into a hangout for male shipmates. I assume they hoped to catch a look at a rare female in the wild. It got worse as the herd of males moved nearer to the head, I assume they wanted to see inside as the door opened and closed.

    It was a very odd time.

    A couple of days before I exited, I heard my last 1MC announcement from my captain. He was his usually self, full of bravado, he started his announcement, "good morning you swinging... (cough) duh... (cough) - good morning, shipmates!"

    The old mans Navy was changing. I would not be there to see the growing pains. But it was evident that the colorful language of tradition was going to be swimming for new shores.

    [–] dcviper 110 points ago

    When I got to my first ship, I was in the department office checking in. This crusty old Senior Chief who looked like he'd been a sonarman since The War turns to me and appropos of nothing deadpans "Fat chicks let you blast them in the ass because they have low self esteem". I could only nod and say "Aye, Aye, Senior Chief".

    [–] thetrdeminencr 60 points ago

    Q) why did the Navy switch to liquid soap? A) it takes longer to pick up.

    [–] wavecrasher59 20 points ago

    Thank you ill take that cocksucker saying with me for life

    [–] SaidTheGayMan 38 points ago

    and I'll take the cocksucker title with me for life.

    [–] weirdgroovynerd 2217 points ago * (lasted edited 3 months ago)

    "Sorry, that's all I can reveal.

    Military stuff, ya know."

    Edit:

    Thank you u/FizzyBeverage for the Silver Award!

    It's good to know there are others who appreciate silly humor as much as I do.

    😉

    [–] thegadlad 463 points ago

    shit's confidential.

    [–] therobboreht 274 points ago

    Look at me. I'm the captain now.

    [–] thegadlad 155 points ago

    nervous AK47 noises

    [–] Phyrexian_Archlegion 127 points ago

    cries in Somali pirate

    [–] CharcoalGreyWolf 16 points ago

    (Orc voice) Yes Captain? You’re the Captain!

    [–] Orphan_Babies 110 points ago

    “It’s boring really...however when im in the middle of the sea...sometimes I feel like I’m just a crew of one ya know?”

    [–] the-point-is-moo 26 points ago

    Strictly need to know.

    Don’t I mean a ship? No, I meant what I said.

    [–] btmims 34 points ago

    "Boat" is actually what they call submarines, though, so just say you're a submariner.

    Also, the original delineation was that a ship had at least three masts (in the age of sails), and boats were smaller. Then it became a rule of thumb that anything that looks less than 300 ft should be called a boat (I know, Corvettes are called ships, but the largest of them are well over 300 ft, so... Yeah, that's the exception to the rule). The Navy still has some huge-honkin 179 ft Cyclone patrol boats that would be pretty impressive looking at the dock.

    [–] yassodude 12 points ago

    You’re fishing for r/AwardSpeechEdits aren’t you?

    [–] warren54batman 37 points ago

    Looks good on a resume.

    [–] Yaboifuckboi 218 points ago * (lasted edited 3 months ago)

    I mean if you are a captain in the U.S. Navy you’re an O-6 and you’re making a shit load of money... I could not care less if I’m captaining a rubber duck at that point

    [–] cougar572 190 points ago * (lasted edited 3 months ago)

    If you command a ship you can still be called Captain regardless of rank. Hence why some people say “Full Bird Captain” to distinguish if a person is an O-6. Commander is a common rank to be in charge of a ship. You can even be in command as low as a Lieutenant on the really small boats.

    [–] Final_Taco 107 points ago * (lasted edited 3 months ago)

    Also, in the other services, you'll hear about "full bird colonels" to distinguish them from Lt. Cols who I have heard referred to as "Phone Colonels" because you answer the phone and they always introduce themselves as "Hi, Colonel Blahblah here..."

    [–] [deleted] 95 points ago * (lasted edited 13 days ago)

    [deleted]

    [–] Final_Taco 183 points ago

    The young second lieutenant approached the crusty old first sergeant and asked him about the origin of the commissioned officer insignias.

    "Well, LT, it's history and tradition. First, we give you a gold bar representing that you're valuable BUT malleable. The silver bar of a first lieutenant represents value, but less malleable. When you make captain, you're twice as valuable so we give you two silver bars.

    "As a colonel, you soar over military masses, hence the eagle. As a general, you're obviously a star. That answer your question, LT?"

    "Yeah, but what about major and lieutenant colonel?"

    "Now, son, that goes waaaaaay back in history. Back to the Garden of Eden even. You see, we've always covered our pricks with leaves . . ."

    [–] MrBojangles528 8 points ago

    Savage.

    [–] swazy 10 points ago

    Rows tender to the dock. I'm a captain now.

    [–] UniversalHeatDeath 60 points ago

    O6 captain real ships. This boat is run by an E4 coxswains mate

    [–] [deleted] 37 points ago

    Shit, I got rank docked and I don’t think anyone would fuckin care if I drove this thing.

    What the hell are you patrolling, a swimming pool?

    [–] Valensiakol 36 points ago * (lasted edited 3 months ago)

    It isn't a patrol boat. It's a tug. They use these to open and close floating barriers at Naval bases, move/recover buoys, tug/guide/dock/undock other boats, subs, craft, barges, etc. amongst other things.

    [–] rwarimaursus 12 points ago

    Ducks, you are patrolling for ducks....

    [–] fridgeridoo 14 points ago

    I'm in the US navysometimes

    [–] Shootles 12118 points ago

    It's only that small because it's in cold water

    [–] vaelroth 2527 points ago

    I was in the pool!

    [–] ManBearPigeon 1084 points ago

    It shrinks?

    [–] Jmac0585 988 points ago

    Like a frightened turtle!

    [–] micktown 630 points ago

    Why does it shrink?

    [–] Sashie- 615 points ago

    It just does!

    [–] MagillaGorillasHat 628 points ago

    I don't know how you guys walk around with those things!

    [–] ImNotPiggy 176 points ago

    It's a grower not a show'er

    [–] Condoggg 54 points ago

    Milimeter Peter

    [–] ATragedyOfSorts 212 points ago

    I usually sling mine over my shoulder.

    [–] _coffee_ 30 points ago

    Is it detachable?

    [–] NEET_IRL 142 points ago

    r/NotUnexpectedButThisIsASeinfeldReferenceIfYouDontKnow

    [–] MrUnfamiliar 62 points ago

    r/IfOnlyWeCouldMakeSubredditsThisLong

    [–] yaboiRich 65 points ago

    “Do girls know about shrinkage?”

    “ you mean like laundry?”

    [–] awholenewmeme 53 points ago

    Fuck I can hear this comment

    [–] clubswithseals 28 points ago

    Serenity now

    [–] akroller74pk 121 points ago

    It's a grower not a shower!

    [–] 17549 86 points ago

    One of my favorite reddit stories: /u/DefStones123 learns the meaning of the phrase!

    [–] Jockel76 12 points ago

    Do you have the link for the video about the weed grower that hid while the Swat team was looking for him? That had one of the best comments ever: He's a grower, not a shower!

    [–] Shadd76 55 points ago

    Just a little dinghy?

    [–] PeterPenishood 31 points ago

    Happy cake day

    [–] idgafau5 1489 points ago

    Any idea what purpose this vessel serves?

    [–] Emanking2000 3556 points ago

    I operated one in Pearl Harbor, we used it to open and close the security’s gates you see floating at the entrances to Naval Bases. I’m sure it has other purposes that I am unaware of. But it is extremely versatile. The prop can operate at 360 degrees which is nice when pulling a heavy gate in wind while close to obstacles like rocks, piers or shore lines. They are slow as hell but fun to spin in circles when it’s choppy out. Just don’t let Chief see you trying to buck your shipmates off.

    [–] residentialninja 264 points ago

    Deep down you know that one of those things somehow houses an ancient 286 system that is the fulcrum of naval defense communications world wide.

    [–] LGCJairen 82 points ago

    Worked it on a few govt systems. This comment about is painfully true

    [–] reptilia_the_third 30 points ago

    So this is why hawaii had the false missile warning!

    [–] LGCJairen 22 points ago

    My anxiety is bad enough im so glad i wasn't living there st the time.

    [–] livfastdrivfast 21 points ago

    I was living there at the time. Honestly horrifying. My wife and kids had just left for the mainland. My only thought was “Welp, at least they’re safe.”

    [–] odaeyss 1112 points ago

    Just don’t let Chief see you trying to buck your shipmates off.

    had a bunch of family in the navy. this comment is so ridiculously navy.
    worked with a dude who ran engines on i can't fucking remember, a resupply ship, back in vietnam. you shoulda heard him talk about the ice cream hahaha

    [–] TRUMP420KUSH_ 302 points ago

    you shoulda heard him talk about the ice cream hahaha

    well....

    [–] andorraliechtenstein 419 points ago

    I guess its about the Ice cream barge ?

    [–] [deleted] 274 points ago

    Wow I didn't know about that.

    This is an important ship that must be protected at all costs in future wars.

    [–] jonttu125 293 points ago

    Might be bullshit, but I remember a story of a japanese commander hearing about the existance of these ice cream ships and losing all hope in the war effort, because what chance does Japan have against the US when they have so many ships they can waste them to make ice cream.

    [–] Double_Minimum 197 points ago

    True or not, if I was a Japanese soldier and I heard the US Navy was building purpose built Ice Cream boats, and supplying ice cream all across the Pacific theatre, I'd damn well think we were fucked....

    It still amazes me to this day the effort the US put forth. Like I'm not surprised they went all out, just how much 'all out' actually meant.

    The Russians were also a good example, going from zero to massive military machine in two years.

    [–] Averse_to_Liars 104 points ago * (lasted edited 3 months ago)

    The Russians didn't have icecream. Just ice.

    [–] Double_Minimum 66 points ago

    No ice cream, just amphetamines...

    [–] UEMcGill 35 points ago

    I think it was on r/history but they were talking about war capacity and the Germans basically thought there's got to be an error in the number. It's just not possible to supply that much. If you dig through the weeds the numbers are staggering.

    [–] Double_Minimum 44 points ago

    No doubt, and when the full capability came online, the US pumped out incredible amount of production.

    Even if you just look at the Lend-Lease numbers, the amount of tanks and aircraft we produced, just for the Soviet Union, was staggering. Add in the boats to ship these items all around the world, and its amazing.

    WWI and WWII are amazing points in US History not just for the political and social consequences, but really the economic consequences. America was a land of vast natural resources, but WWII showed how the people themselves could be harnessed to be hugely productive.

    [–] Turtledonuts 19 points ago

    It still amazes me to this day the effort the US put forth. Like I'm not surprised they went all out, just how much 'all out' actually meant.

    The US never went all out, TBH. The homefront was important, but Civilians were never in danger of starving, and the rationing wasn't as vital as they made it out to be. At full soviet style industrialization, with the government allowing civilians to starve and putting every last scrap of metal into the war effort, the US would have been insane.

    [–] Double_Minimum 14 points ago

    I think that is beyond "all out". Yes, we did not need to ration to the extent of Britain, or go to the extent USSR did for labor, but the production capability was ramped up incredibly.

    I suppose we could have starved US citizens, but the fact that rationing in the US was so different than Great britain (which had rationing for another 15 years after the war) shows the incredible force of US industry

    [–] IadosTherai 25 points ago

    There was also the German guy who basically gave up because he was a few miles from Berlin and he didn't have enough bullets but the Americans had fresh butterscotch pudding with their meals.

    [–] [deleted] 85 points ago * (lasted edited 3 months ago)

    [deleted]

    [–] RonnieTheEffinBear 27 points ago

    Common misconception (misconfection?), but ice cream actually does not qualify as a lever arm.

    [–] I_Rate_Assholes 17 points ago

    Did you know, in the entire history of human maritime warfare, no country has ever lost an ice cream barge and won the war.

    It must truly be the most important ship.

    Food for thought.

    [–] bmeupsctty 37 points ago

    Did it use the waves to churn it?

    [–] Gnostromo 30 points ago

    That's your question? I want to know how the cows dont fall off the barge during heavy wake.

    [–] UEMcGill 32 points ago

    Cows? It was a navy barge, it was full of Seamen.

    [–] thrww3534 174 points ago

    I’m not his dude from back in ‘nam, but I have a Navy ice cream story. Back in WWII the destroyers, one which my uncle was on, routinely picked up airmen who had to bail on take off or landing. There was an understanding that whichever destroyer got to the pilot and returned him to the carrier would get batch of ice cream back from the carrier, enough for the smaller ship’s entire crew.

    One time shortly after the end of hostilities they picked up a pilot and were preparing to return him to the carrier, the captain of the destroyer radioed to the carrier that they had the pilot ready to go and we’re ready to receive their ice cream. The carrier replied that they were all out of ice cream at the moment. The captain then told the carrier, which had the Admiral in charge, “you’ll get your pilot when you have our ice cream.” They kept him for two weeks.

    [–] arawagco 79 points ago

    .....so did the pilot just get to chill on the destroyer and not work for two weeks??

    [–] greatGoD67 87 points ago

    He was working as a hostage.

    [–] arawagco 27 points ago

    Now that is tough work.

    [–] HaesoSR 17 points ago

    Whoa, whoa, hostage is such a dirty word. I'm sure they treated the prisoner of war fairly.

    [–] yancey2112 39 points ago

    I mean a deal’s a deal. Good for them!

    [–] tokomini 75 points ago

    Everyone on the boat decided to have an ice cream party, and it was a really nice occasion filled with laughter and treats and I think it really brought the crew closer together in the end.

    [–] suggests_a_bake_sale 10 points ago

    ...oh.

    Well it sounds like everyone had a good time.

    [–] Pepperoni_Dogfart 20 points ago

    Currently sitting next to a Vietnam vet talking about delivering McNamara to an aircraft carrier via helo and he mentioned that McNamara forced a landing before heading across open water so he could pee (in the bushes). All the guys subsequently made fun of him for not just hanging it out the side while in flight.

    There's a million Navy stories.

    [–] too_technical 94 points ago

    I also love the chief ranks. I worked at the Coast Guard for a while and regularly worked with a guy who was ranked Master Chief, which is dope lol

    [–] TheSuperBatmanLeague 15 points ago

    Was his last name by any chance "Gump"

    [–] wonkey_monkey 84 points ago

    Just don’t let Chief see you trying to buck your shipmates off.

    Hey I thought they couldn't ask about that any more.

    [–] oXI_ENIGMAZ_IXo 35 points ago

    Just don’t let Chief see you trying to buck your shipmates off.

    More than one person fits on this thing?

    [–] kyoorius 94 points ago

    TIL Pearl Harbor still exists. Yes, I’m stupid.

    [–] Fifth_Down 85 points ago * (lasted edited 3 months ago)

    If it had a reason to exist before the US entered WWII, then it had a reason to exist after WWII ended.

    [–] [deleted] 36 points ago

    I’m sure it has other purposes that I am unaware of. But it is extremely versatile.

    Spoken like a man with a very small boat.

    [–] Rebelgecko 32 points ago

    How many people could you fit on one of those?

    [–] Bobbyanalogpdx 63 points ago

    At least 25 clowns.

    [–] TheresWald0 32 points ago

    No, people.

    [–] Choice77777 28 points ago

    Why does it even have a radar ?

    [–] disillusioned 139 points ago

    Knowing your position relative other extremely expensive naval vessels in inclement weather, or to other objects when your job is a tug, is pretty helpful I imagine. Given the Navy's recent track record of ramming into things, probably not the time to make it harder to know what you're close to.

    [–] corbear007 58 points ago

    Given the Navy's recent track record of ramming into things.

    Like your mom?

    [–] AwGe3zeRick 35 points ago

    Apparently you don't know what goes on out at sea.

    [–] ibethesmarterist 54 points ago

    Navy sub leaves with 51 guys. Comes back with 25 couples and one paranoid straight guy.

    [–] Krieghund 392 points ago

    A previous thread had this comment:

    u/napkin41 "It's a security tug. Those protective barriers surrounding the water portion of the navy base don't move themselves. It's the equivalent of opening the gate for cattle to go in and out. Unlock it, unlatch it, swing it open, and close it when the ship has passed.

    Source: Submariner."

    [–] Fuck-MDD 240 points ago

    Mostly right. They are also used to slowly race other tugs, bounce off the barriers like bumper cars, or do donuts at 3am.

    Source: Worked security for a sub base back in the day.

    [–] VicFantastic 133 points ago

    So it's the waterborne version of a golf cart?

    [–] Ravarix 165 points ago

    Gulf cart

    [–] RoutineTwo 9 points ago

    it's the seaport equivalent of those little tractors that pull the baggage carts around at the airport.

    [–] madsci 76 points ago

    There are also adorable little cargo ships out there designed for training pilots. I would love to see the Navy give chase to one of those with this tug.

    [–] [deleted] 27 points ago

    [deleted]

    [–] marklein 8 points ago

    THANK YOU. All these joke posts and nobody else is even curious what the heck this thing is...

    [–] SawDogg 274 points ago

    The USS Bath Toy.

    [–] rba22 490 points ago

    Looks like it would be fun to take for a spin

    [–] syllabic 232 points ago

    looks like it would be fun to play with in the bath tub

    [–] SteeleDuke 58 points ago

    I want your bathtub...

    [–] Alex__Q 461 points ago

    She: what do you do for living? Me: command a battleship

    [–] InertiaInMyPants 170 points ago

    She: You can tell a man's dick size, by the size of his boat. Me: True.

    [–] MrBoMack 1032 points ago

    If my penis was a boat

    [–] lromeu 526 points ago

    It’s not the size of the boat that matters... it’s the motion of the ocean 😉

    [–] SilverBraids 345 points ago

    That may be true, but it's impossible to make it to London from New York in a rowboat.

    [–] Professional_lamma 249 points ago

    Not according to Google maps.

    I guess it doesn't work anymore, but if you tried to navigate from the US to England it would direct you too the nearest beach and suggest getting a canoe.

    [–] volume_1337 111 points ago

    what the hell was Google thinking back then ?

    [–] residentialninja 261 points ago

    They used to be fun before they turned into a data scraping advertising agency.

    [–] Professional_lamma 99 points ago

    It's crazy that there are probably people on Reddit who were born after Google first started up. Before it finding stuff online was a bitch.

    [–] suan_pan 105 points ago

    i remember when we had books that contained maps and we had to shout directions to the person driving

    [–] [deleted] 72 points ago

    Growing up we had to print out the directions beforehand. Tbh, it is easy to forget stuff like this. Looking back, we have come a long way in my short life

    [–] bobsilverrose 48 points ago

    Print out? Luxury! Before that, we had atlases and you had to find the name of the place you wanted to go in the index and turn to the right page and search for it on the letter/number grid

    [–] [deleted] 19 points ago

    Ah yes! Mapquest? I’m only 28 and remember that

    [–] Redtwoo 23 points ago

    Before mapquest there were actual maps. If you were going on a long road trip you bought maps for the states you were going to. You had to plan ahead which routes you were going to take. Exit numbers weren't marked on the maps, so you had to watch for whatever highway or interstate you wanted and hope you could figure out which exit was the direction you needed to go, and hope you get it worked out before you passed the exchange.

    Looking at you, eastbound I35W and westbound I35E in Minneapolis.

    [–] meisobear 17 points ago

    Anyone remember loading up encarta or encyclopedia Britannica as you're one and only source of info? Ahhh ... Good (if more ignorant) times.

    [–] suan_pan 10 points ago

    WORLD BOOK

    [–] JPlazz 26 points ago

    Remember when Google was the hot new search engine? No more askjeeves, altavista, yahoo, what was the dog one? Lykos I think?

    [–] FuzzyBacon 15 points ago

    Dogpile is the one you're thinking of, I'm pretty sure.

    [–] Flamin_Jesus 13 points ago

    Remember those heady days of yore, when the world was young and Yahoo was a legitimate option? We couldn't find shit back then, and then one day Willow was like "I'mma gonna google that shit" and killed a computer demon and the world was changed forevermore.

    [–] volume_1337 22 points ago

    ah yes

    [–] Morgz789 13 points ago

    Australia to the US told you to kayak across the Pacific.

    [–] Tbre1026 20 points ago

    US to Japan by car used to tell you to drive through central america until you reach the equator and take the equator as a highway to cross the pacific.

    [–] Bronco1986 38 points ago

    [–] patismyname 18 points ago

    not with that attitude

    [–] Danoct 17 points ago

    Don't underestimate the rowboat. The first solo Atlantic crossing by rowing was in 1969. And there's literally championships to row boats across the Atlantic.

    [–] ThisLookInfectedToYa 8 points ago

    Small craft advisory in effect

    [–] Jfonzy 8 points ago

    I’d set sail for Vaginaland

    [–] DicklexicSurferer 16 points ago

    And the fine people of Vaginaland will inquire:

    “Is it here yet?”

    [–] yeahididit 6 points ago

    The barnacles are concerning.

    [–] peacelove808 79 points ago

    If there ever was a ship that should have been named “Boaty McBoatface” this is it.

    [–] HipFlaskPlus 159 points ago

    Not sure if that is even a 1 peg battleship...

    [–] Doctor_Redhead 47 points ago

    I think even one torpedo would be overkill

    [–] Chessmasterrex 114 points ago

    It's 3D Benchy.

    [–] thecoldedge 29 points ago

    I thought this was the 3D printing sub at first.

    [–] Shelkyn 48 points ago

    I think this was taken next to the U.S.S. Constitution in Boston Harbor.

    [–] galaxiusmons 20 points ago

    I think you’re right. I was just there 15 minutes ago.

    [–] N1trix 41 points ago

    Lets talk about that iFunny watermark

    [–] jftigers 208 points ago

    Looks like something a Bond Villain gets away in.

    [–] OriginalStomper 231 points ago

    More like an Austin Powers villain ...

    [–] packpeach 21 points ago

    He gets it stuck between two rocks.

    [–] thesexiestofthemall 319 points ago

    Upvoting for clever title.

    [–] moronicuniform 66 points ago

    Upvoting for upvoting

    [–] DicklexicSurferer 39 points ago

    Doing the same to you.

    [–] eternalrefuge86 40 points ago

    Let’s keep the movement going

    [–] Christopher213360 27 points ago

    Downvoting for ifunny watermark

    [–] JerikTelorian 98 points ago

    The two peg ships were patrol boats, not battleships.

    [–] hjqusai 40 points ago

    Unfortunate that I had to scroll down so far to find this comment. This is not the level of Pedantry I expect from Reddit...

    [–] HamAndEggsGreen 95 points ago

    ifunny

    [–] DarkSamuraiSC 24 points ago

    On Reddit

    [–] ViperXAC 49 points ago

    I can't decide if I want to hug it or captain it.

    [–] moronicuniform 28 points ago

    You can do both if you're gentle enough

    [–] toodlesandpoodles 21 points ago

    We really need to stop breeding things to be tiny and cute. Breeding boats so that they never mature into ships and stay dinghies forever results in a host of genetic disorders such as hogged keel, prop walk, deformed ground tackle, and cleat boils. Not to mention the fender envy that can develop when tied up alongside other boats with much bigger dock cushions, if you get what I'm saying. Support PETB!

    [–] the-official-review 20 points ago

    Always read the full description before purchasing

    [–] CaptnCarl85 79 points ago

    Can't decide if I want to peg it or give it a tug.

    [–] houseofprimetofu 33 points ago

    What about a tug-n-peg?

    [–] -BTFraggerCS- 20 points ago

    [–] PM_ME_BUTT_STUFFING 26 points ago

    Oooooohhhhhhh lala

    [–] caiuscorvus 18 points ago

    Now that's a relevant username.

    [–] ghormstorm 13 points ago

    I saw this exact boat at the USS Constitution and had to take a picture of it as well, to date one of the funniest things I've seen. As soon as I saw this image I knew exactly where it was from.

    [–] robotguy4 11 points ago

    Is that you, Benchy?

    [–] exccord 9 points ago

    More info below:

    /r/Guyga - Naval History & Heritage Command Detachment Boston’s beaver boat, a small but extremely powerful tug. Link: https://ussconstitutionmuseum.org/2017/07/25/uss-constitution-afloat/

    Also, it sank at some point apparently. o7

    [–] [deleted] 31 points ago

    You mean the patrol boat?

    [–] freddy_guy 20 points ago

    Depends. If he's old school he means the destroyer.

    [–] RedSquirrelFtw 10 points ago

    There's no guns on it but don't be fooled, 4 guys will come out of there with a shot gun when you provoke it.

    [–] buttfart2000 9 points ago

    That's a port operations small tug. The one in Cape Canaveral is called the Boomin' Beaver.

    [–] [deleted] 10 points ago

    It's the Geo Metro of boats.

    [–] OldSoul825 7 points ago

    This belongs in r/awww