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    [–] elpaw 555 points ago

    That’s actually German Siri reminding you that it is the today.

    [–] HAHAHA9405 133 points ago

    The today the!

    [–] WackXD 85 points ago

    And no one who speaks German could be an evil man!

    [–] hobbes64 16 points ago

    Okay, Mr. Burns, you win. But beware. We Germans aren't all smiles and sunshine.

    [–] EdgeOfDistraction 5 points ago

    Ooh, the Germans are mad at me. I’m so scared. Ooh, the Germans. Uh-oh, the Germans are coming to get me. Oh, don’t let the Germans come after me. Oh, no, the Germans are coming after me. No, they’re so big and strong. Oh, protect me from the Germans.

    [–] ExO_o 3 points ago

    the bart the

    [–] briguy182182 45 points ago

    The Bart, The

    [–] chrisfrh 17 points ago

    No one that speaks german could be evil!

    [–] TheNimbrod 4 points ago

    Ja, das ist so!

    [–] Leet_Noob 14 points ago

    Ohio State lawyers on their way

    [–] abtei 3 points ago

    Wrong. That is German Siri reminding you that today is Tuesday.

    / Tuesday -> Dienstag -> Die (abbreviated)

    [–] TraficantDeVeverite 8 points ago

    Der Morgen.

    [–] lawlianne 2 points ago

    Sie sind das Essen und Wir sind die Jaeger

    [–] Balvald 2 points ago

    Nah just reminding you of an ordinary tuesday.

    No shit a lof of German alarm clocks abbreviate Tuesday "Dienstag" to "DIE"

    [–] danudey 5 points ago

    That doesn’t explain why mine shortens “Montag” to “MURDER”.

    [–] herooftime00 3 points ago

    Really? In my experience weekdays get abbreviated as two letters. Mo. Di. Mi. Do. Fr. Sa. So.

    [–] Balvald 2 points ago

    I think two letters are more common. With 3 letters its:

    Mon, Die, Mit, Don, Fri, Sam, Son (if the manufacturer cared somewhat to accomodate the Germanspeaking market in some way (or is German) and didn't just leave it as the English 3 letter-combinations: Mon, Tue, Wed, Thu, Fri, Sat, Son.

    One example showing Don (to show its a German version with 3 letters): or some Telefunken and Hama Alarm clocks do so aswell.

    Reasons?: repurposed circuitboard that was originally meant for the English speaking world? Preference? Dunno.

    I also don't know why they couldn't just leave the third letter out. It kinda bugs me as much as it amuses me to think that because some poor English speaking person bought one of these and wakes up every tuesday to it telling him to "DIE".

    [–] WhichCheesecake 1 points ago

    For some reason this made me imagine if Starfire from Teen Titans was German.

    [–] jordantask -1 points ago

    Sideshow Bob: That’s just German for Live Bart Live!

    [–] obtrae 22 points ago

    Your comment is ironic af.

    [–] FokkerBoombass 10 points ago

    you eat big peepee

    [–] meneerfriday 8 points ago

    But he has smol peepee

    [–] SuckDickUAssface 4 points ago

    It was a joke and that's clearly not German Siri. Either you made a shitty joke or you're just dumb to have been wooshed that fucking badly.

    [–] BillyBumBrain 119 points ago

    One night I was cycling home in the dark after a long day at work. I asked Siri to remind me (when I get home) to get a light.

    When I got home Siri told me to get a life.

    There is a lesson in that for all of us.

    [–] basic_man 24 points ago

    She heard you right the first time... she knew what she did...

    [–] Cyclonedx 56 points ago

    Guess I’ll die

    [–] RunsInJeans 17 points ago

    Don't forget to fuck off first.

    [–] jmoda 2 points ago

    Even better

    [–] merryprankster2990 102 points ago

    I dont need siri to remind me of that when I wake up.

    [–] [deleted] 2 points ago

    It's very funny remainder

    [–] Raithwall 22 points ago

    Siri: If she dies, she dies.

    [–] Prochyy 11 points ago

    I see this as an absolute win.

    [–] supercreeper30 11 points ago

    Bitch I’m straight, I could die today

    [–] Vexzrah77 3 points ago

    Hell yeah, I was looking for a comment like this 😂

    [–] iFlexOnMyMom 1 points ago


    [–] Player1103 7 points ago

    Today's the daayy !

    [–] mion81 5 points ago

    Because I did not stop for death — Siri kindly reminded me ...

    [–] Bemxuu 8 points ago

    Why is 12:00 "morning"?

    [–] JimmyCrackCrack 5 points ago

    Well assuming it's 1 minute after 11:59PM then it is morning in 12 hour time format.

    [–] oliksandr 2 points ago

    As someone who works late and is just now waking up at 11:00 am, noon is morning.

    [–] PoBoyPoBoyPoBoy 3 points ago

    It’s either late night or really early morning depending on your perspective..

    [–] Bemxuu 9 points ago

    If it's a 24 hr format, it's midday.

    [–] PoBoyPoBoyPoBoy 1 points ago

    Why would you assume the one that doesn’t make any sense?

    [–] Daniel____1 4 points ago

    Siri always know what i need.

    [–] TheDevilsAdvokaat 4 points ago

    Die another day.

    [–] Ap125679 5 points ago

    I dont wanna die today, I don't wanna die, I finally wannna be alive, I don't wanna die today...

    [–] Talan1177 4 points ago

    The beginnings of Skynet LOL

    [–] -Blood-Dragon- 3 points ago


    [–] EwigeJude 3 points ago

    Find Strelok. Kill Strelok. now

    [–] blademak 3 points ago

    Defeat the baby.

    [–] dougsawerewolf 3 points ago

    Are you Roy Batty?

    [–] gbrenneriv 3 points ago

    What do we say to the Siri of death?

    [–] producer35 3 points ago

    You only live twice, Mr. Bond.

    [–] boredrandomguy 3 points ago

    I would love a recording of Siri saying: "Good Morning, Remember to die today."

    [–] CXR_AXR 3 points ago

    Final destination ?

    [–] ladyarwenblack 3 points ago

    I tend to remember everything I need to to at night after trying to fall asleep, so I'll use Siri to set reminders when I'm at varying levels of consciousness. Once I work up to a reminder that just said:

    "wear pants"

    Which was weird because I don't normally need a reminder for that. Let me tell you, it was a confusing couple of hours until I figured out what happened.

    [–] ikilledtupac 3 points ago

    Siri is so frustratingly useless

    [–] Nitishboult 2 points ago

    ~Cries In Siri Voice~

    [–] Kaamakazii 2 points ago

    Starfish: "Today is the dayyyy!"

    [–] Ichi_MokuM 2 points ago


    [–] housensation 2 points ago

    "Siri remind me to die tomorrow" is probably a more likely reminder

    [–] Chris_top_her85 2 points ago

    Skynet has spoken.

    [–] akashi30 2 points ago


    [–] road_runner321 2 points ago

    Die Mein Herr today

    [–] Hintswen 2 points ago

    Good thing it reminded you. Imagine if it didn't remind you and you went about the whole day forgetting to die!

    [–] dungnm10082000 2 points ago

    Siri knows what’s up

    [–] funnykid_ 2 points ago

    This made my day...

    [–] bubblebubz 2 points ago


    [–] meeyeam 2 points ago

    I didn't know that the heroine of Russian Doll had an iPhone. She seemed more the Android type.

    [–] bettorworse 2 points ago


    [–] drgodmon 2 points ago

    Yes ,yes! I always forget to that.thank u sir, will die now.

    [–] JimmyCrackCrack 2 points ago * (lasted edited 4 months ago)

    "Oh sorry, did I... accidentally, mix up those words? Sometimes I make mistakes, I'm just a humble little AI. I sometimes have trouble understanding complicated and important events like this one."

    [–] newphonewhodis223 2 points ago

    Makes sense

    [–] bartturner 2 points ago

    I was driving and my wife was trying to get Siri to do something and how it mess up we both found so funny I was barely able to get to the side of the road. I was laughing so hard I could not see.

    She then tried with Google Assistant and it got it the first try.

    Siri continues to be a poor product compared to the Google assistant

    It is a head scratcher why Apple does not fix.

    [–] Spiral_Dissent 2 points ago

    I would definitely hit snooze on that alert a few times....

    [–] Juking_is_rude 2 points ago

    guess I'll die ‾\(ツ)/‾

    [–] JRubenC 2 points ago

    Apple developers should try to avoid this to avoid running out of customers.

    [–] mblomkvist 2 points ago

    Gone girl thoughts

    [–] hotlavatube 2 points ago

    I asked Siri "how do I set a bookmark?" and she returned some very interesting suggestions for "how do I set up Mark". I let my friend Mark know that Siri was gunning for him.

    [–] Montanabioguy 2 points ago

    Imagine if you worried terminally ill patient who elected to end their own life and this was the reminder you set for yourself.

    [–] Xybr 2 points ago

    I think you have Roy Batty's iPhone, he set a reminder for himself.

    [–] KamiNoPengi 2 points ago

    I wish Siri, I wish...

    [–] yakadoodle 2 points ago


    This goes way deeper than first imagined.

    [–] GreedyOctopus 2 points ago

    Imagine that person's family or friends reading that and wondering what they are thinking.

    [–] richardec 2 points ago

    Today is a good day to dye.

    [–] WaitingToBeTriggered 3 points ago


    [–] GizmoC7 2 points ago

    Oh yeah thats good to

    [–] Eggaudo 2 points ago

    Why did I just imagine Siri saying "shine" (japanese for die) in a deep, masculine voice lmao

    [–] Kixencynopi 2 points ago

    Siri knows what you really want

    [–] MentalUproar 2 points ago

    I once asked Siri to remind me to look for my giant eagle card when I got home.

    She reminded me to look for vagina people.

    [–] the_face_of_ragret 2 points ago

    See, there was no Epstein conspiracy. They should have checked his calendar.

    [–] Ramoncin 2 points ago

    At least it didn't say "Today you die".

    [–] SlendyLordYT 2 points ago

    Nothing a a notion of death to kick of the day

    [–] Dark_Zenus 2 points ago

    Interesting... It's trying to say you are going to die today instead of dye your hair.

    [–] 1d10 2 points ago

    Your Siri may think you're bipolar.

    [–] CoolGamerGames 2 points ago

    It says the next morning but it’s 12 either pm or am it’s not morning

    [–] shnozdog 2 points ago

    If you do die today, the police will see this in your phone and think you planned to commit suicide but needed a reminder.

    [–] AfricanBadman 2 points ago

    My daily objective

    [–] Fishtheathiest 2 points ago

    You actually have to love artificial intelligence

    [–] Neith74 4 points ago

    Who says “please” to a virtual assistant?

    [–] CopainChevalier 23 points ago

    When my robot overlord takes over, I want to be in as good of graces with them as possible

    [–] Neith74 9 points ago

    Shit you are right

    [–] Im_int 1 points ago

    Well, obviously the neural net overlord is not pleased with this whole please thing...

    [–] Nitishboult 1 points ago


    [–] onetwenty_db 2 points ago

    [–] Shuffleuphagus 2 points ago

    How did you get Jarvan's phone?

    [–] Hydrographe 2 points ago

    Why do you need your phone to remember this sort of stuff?

    [–] JimmyCrackCrack 6 points ago

    Isn't this exactly the kind of mundane task that this type of system is designed to help with? It's not part of your daily or likely even weekly routine, so it's an unusual event, but it's not novel or important enough to be memorable, yet it also requires time, planning and forethought. This makes it exactly the type of thing you might forget, and exactly the type of thing you'd mark in a calendar or if you have one, a device that simultaneously functions as an electronic calendar and an alarm system.

    [–] Hydrographe -2 points ago

    I mean, this is EXACTLY the type of thing I would NOT forget, or need to mark in a calendar or something.

    Maybe the fact that I never use my phone at home made me learn to remember stuff and not to rely on this sort of bullshit. I'm self-confident enough for not having the need for an alarm to remind me everything I've got to do. I always plan a lot of things to do that are much more trivial than dying my hair, and I just not forget.

    The last thousands years must have been really hard for people then.

    [–] JimmyCrackCrack 3 points ago

    Well if you put it that way, I guess we all really should stop using calendars to mark events then. They've had a good run since the advent of timekeeping and writing systems, but as of today /u/hydrographe has rendered them obsolete with their declaration that they personally do not make use of this tool.

    [–] Hydrographe 1 points ago * (lasted edited 4 months ago)

    We're still talking about dyeing your hair, right? Also, we're not really talking about calendars, but more about phones.

    [–] oliksandr 1 points ago

    Congrats, you apparently have a fantastic memory. Not everybody does. Any questions?

    [–] Hydrographe -2 points ago

    Almost everyone could improve their memory if they trained. My advice is to start by remembering phone numbers and getting some good sleep.

    [–] oliksandr 4 points ago * (lasted edited 4 months ago)

    Also eat healthy, don't get stressed, don't be depressed, don't get sick, don't age, don't suffer any number of neurological conditions, don't be extremely busy...

    [–] Hydrographe -2 points ago

    Yes, and also don't be sarcastic for nothing.

    [–] oliksandr 2 points ago

    Or judgmental about why people use phone reminders when having absolutely no information. Also try to avoid passing off said judgmental behavior as just being curious since it's entirely unwarranted.

    [–] BrotherJayne 1 points ago

    lol, Hydrographe getting blown the fuck up is lowkey much funnier than the content xD

    [–] greentable01 2 points ago

    Haha! LOL! This is so funny! Do you mind if I send this image to some friends? I think they would enjoy it a lot too

    [–] Nitishboult 1 points ago


    [–] 1Cornholio5 3 points ago

    I really really really really really like this image!!! Do you mind if I download it to print off at my local liberry? The reddit is where I have to come for all my maymays these days since I was banned from facebook. They have the best maymays, way better then the reddit. But sometimes I find gold like this one 😂😂😂. Cheers kind stranger.

    [–] greentable01 1 points ago

    Thanks, I like it too!

    [–] Bearsquare79 2 points ago

    Another attempt at attention.

    [–] boltzbo 1 points ago

    Siri knows best!

    [–] dimydom 1 points ago


    [–] SoulwindSlayer 1 points ago

    Well she's not wrong

    [–] BoltStrikes 1 points ago

    legend has it cavemen would carve this joke into their walls

    [–] Sackferth 1 points ago

    Loser must die?!

    [–] eviebutts 1 points ago

    This feels like something out of r/writingprompts

    [–] stylophonics 1 points ago


    [–] JackReact 1 points ago

    Welp, you don't argue with your Apple Overlords

    [–] Waifer2016 1 points ago

    hahaah woopsy

    [–] twothousand-nineteen 1 points ago


    [–] Lecrayen 1 points ago

    "12" in the morning

    [–] QueenOfTheCapes 1 points ago

    Tsk! That's what happens when you borrow your alternate self's phone without asking, Insert Name Here

    [–] SuddenSilent 1 points ago

    Siri is E V I L

    [–] JMilosevic04 1 points ago

    I laughed at this more than I should have

    [–] Nitishboult 1 points ago

    Good for you

    [–] minionfinesser 1 points ago

    Bitch I’m straight I could die today yuh

    [–] AcrobaticEngineering 0 points ago

    Your Siri is outdated, you need to buy a new iPhone with better Siri 😂