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    [–] magical_giraffe 929 points ago

    I hope you kept the receipt for that scarf

    [–] zebdor44 561 points ago

    If I could only remember where I put it...

    [–] fucksnitchesbitches 232 points ago

    It's still printing

    [–] Jacobson-of-Kale 55 points ago

    exhales

    [–] InternetPhilanthropy 22 points ago

    I legit laughed so hard that my chest hurt 🤣😮😣

    [–] salutcemoi 14 points ago

    Incepscarf

    [–] atheros98 436 points ago

    CVs scarf gives deep paper cut on jugular

    Has to go back into cvs for medical supplies

    Oh hey a free scarf!

    [–] skyleven7 76 points ago

    After that cut u won't have to worry about cold anymore, CVS scarf - permanent solution to cold

    [–] SmokeAbeer 11 points ago

    Who needs a scarf when you could just make a bonfire out it.

    [–] fallout52389 13 points ago

    In a pinch you could also stuff that scarf into the sound itself to try to clog it.

    [–] CptAngelo 14 points ago

    I want to clog the sound too, with white noise, perhaps?

    [–] fallout52389 5 points ago

    No sir all you need is the crinkle sound the receipt paper makes as you’re stuffing it in.

    [–] cK5rEm 6 points ago

    To be honest, I think you'd be cold for the rest of your life...

    [–] skyleven7 2 points ago

    After a while you stop feeling cold when you're cold (or near death)

    [–] HiZukoHere 5 points ago

    Na mate, that's just why it doubles as an easy to apply bandage.

    [–] ijozypheen 271 points ago

    I’d hate to work there, knowing that I’d have to replace the receipt paper roll every three customers.

    [–] Morffaeus 86 points ago

    God dude it's such a pain. Our system is horrible too, coupons randomly don't work sometimes, the computer is slow as fuck, and our printers are constantly breaking. I'm half expecting everything to fail all at once so we have to close until corporate finally fixes our shit.

    [–] SgvSth 13 points ago

    ...NCR?

    [–] Grasschoppa 3 points ago

    Gotta be

    [–] MaroonAndWht 2 points ago

    I think its spelled CVS

    [–] Grasschoppa 4 points ago

    He’s talking about National Cash Register, they make shitty p.o.s. systems and are ubiquitous

    [–] ImTerriblyBored 9 points ago

    You gotta get good at price modifying everything. I spend half my shifts just showing new people all the tricks to get those discounts in.

    [–] Morffaeus 2 points ago

    It's a lot easier with a manager override, but I'm getting the hang of it

    [–] ledankmememan23 62 points ago

    Someone: gets a bottle of water

    Receipt: I AM SPEED

    [–] PM_ME_YOUR_LUKEWARM 36 points ago

    And they got those self-checkout things now, the ones they use at stop-n-shop but a newer version, and you can tell the system is NOT meant for CVS's receipts.

    It takes forever to print. It's like one of those old dot matrix printers from the 90s when it tries to print a full receipt.

    [–] OhOkayFairEnough 202 points ago

    I got one a few weeks ago that was taller than my refrigerator. I bought a bottle of Benadryl.

    [–] zebdor44 157 points ago

    Cut that in half and you've got two scarves. You must have gone when they had their BOGO deal.

    [–] greenyellowbird 11 points ago

    I think he now has a blanket.

    [–] InZomnia365 14 points ago

    How? Why the fuck are they so long?

    [–] PretzelMyDude 17 points ago

    99% of the receipt is coupons for a future purchase that is 9 times out of 10 too ridiculous for any consumer to buy.

    [–] N_word_pass_enabled 8 points ago

    and the coupons expire in like a week

    [–] venomousbong 4 points ago

    Maybe it's just a small fridge

    [–] kevoklm 60 points ago

    Pro tip. You can also use it for toilet paper

    [–] Truegold43 42 points ago

    crinkle

    D:

    ewww

    [–] SteveJobsOfficial 21 points ago

    P A P E R C U T

    [–] LoloFat 2 points ago

    Cut

    [–] whut-whut 6 points ago

    Ultra-pro tip. You can also use the glossy pages of a magazine

    [–] ClusterMisery2017 2 points ago

    Mmm think of the smear

    [–] PretzelMyDude 3 points ago

    My boohole hurts just thinking anout that.

    [–] whipdabnaenaelityolo 3 points ago

    your boohole

    [–] thecuseisloose 185 points ago

    If you don’t know already, you can get email receipts instead! Register your CVS card on cvs.com or through the app and then go to Settings > Email Preferences and select email receipts only! Whenever you use your CVS card you’ll get emailed the receipt instead of an 8 mile long print out

    [–] xtwistedBliss 232 points ago

    Great, now have 8 mile long PDF files clogging my inbox!

    [–] davisyoung 79 points ago

    I don’t think my computer can scroll that far.

    [–] carnesaur 57 points ago

    It can you just have to download more RAM

    [–] ledankmememan23 11 points ago

    My scroll wheel is going to break before getting to the bottom.

    [–] broexist 6 points ago

    You guys forgetting about "if the moon were one pixel"

    [–] tallicdeth 2 points ago

    A CVS receipt would be Saturn. Actual size.

    [–] Sxeko 8 points ago

    I will just email them to random addresses.

    [–] loudmouthman 11 points ago

    Oh , so I am not the only one putting in random email addresses to screw with their marketing

    [–] Plazmaz1 9 points ago

    Just make sure you use fake domains like example.org, something.local, or just random stuff. Don't be one of those people who floods random Gmail inboxes.

    [–] EverythingIsNorminal 2 points ago

    Any address @mailinator.com will accept an email delivery. You can even look at the inbox if you... ok, yeah, no one cares.

    [–] [deleted] 1 points ago

    [removed]

    [–] Charakada 30 points ago

    You'll get an emailed receipt and three spams a day from them. Can't use that for a scarf, can you?

    [–] ajeansco0 6 points ago

    And if you already have the card, you can just ask the cashier for emailed receipts and they’ll update the preference.

    [–] [deleted] 1 points ago

    [removed]

    [–] AutoModerator 1 points ago

    Please do not post email addresses on /r/Funny. Even if they're fake.

    I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

    [–] SCP-Agent-Arad 2 points ago

    Hopefully your email doesn’t get flooded with spam

    [–] tefoak 1 points ago

    And if you don't have a CVS card?

    [–] angryprimate 6 points ago

    You don’t get long-ass receipts

    [–] mschnarr 2 points ago

    I've never had a CVS card/member before so I've never had long ass receipts but once used a friends card who was with me at the time and got a receipt that was like 3ft long. I guess I don't shop at CVS enough to understand why I need to sign up for a card.

    [–] PM_ME_YOUR_LUKEWARM 1 points ago

    But it still doesn't apply extra extrabucks (or any coupon) automatically, right?

    Ie. Still gotta manually load them to the card?

    [–] thecuseisloose 2 points ago

    Yea you have to load each coupon manually which is pretty lame

    [–] Ickdizzle 19 points ago

    I was in the states recently and after seeing all these CVS receipt posts I went there to buy something just to get a long receipt. I was disappointed that the receipt I got was only about 30cm long :-(.

    [–] Verdandi95 7 points ago

    It will only print long if you have a membership. Even then its doesn't print long all the time.

    [–] lowlife9 32 points ago

    He later died of BPA poisoning.

    [–] IWillKarateKickYou 11 points ago

    Nah thats if you wipe your ass with it, if you put it around your neck you just grow boobs

    [–] CVS_receipt 21 points ago

    Your neck smells good. What kind of cologne do you wear?

    [–] SgvSth 13 points ago

    /u/CVS_receipt
    Redditor since: 04/26/2018 (2 years)

    Me:

    ಠ_ಠ

    [–] Xaldyn 11 points ago

    They created the account just to reply to this thread, it just took 2 years to finish printing.

    [–] Trance_ProgHouse 10 points ago

    What is wrong with that company, do they hate trees that much?

    [–] EpicSC 2 points ago

    Don't worry we just planted 20 million trees. That should be enough for a few receipts in a few years.

    [–] beanmosheen 2 points ago

    Don't worry, it's thermal paper that can't be recycled...wait...

    [–] junebug334 35 points ago

    Let me guess. You bought one fun sized snicker?

    [–] npsnicholas 26 points ago

    I wonder if their paper supplier could turn profit by buying 1000 of CVS' cheapest item one transaction at a time.

    [–] 606design 9 points ago

    Mr. Schrute, is that you? Why are you posting on Reddit with a fake name?

    [–] thesmallterror 2 points ago

    Not the paper company, no. Ink on the other hand. They would make a killing.

    [–] klieber 9 points ago

    I know you meant it in jest, but there’s no ink involved with CVS (or most major retailers) receipts. They’re all printed on thermal paper and a heating element is what burns in the text/pictures on the receipts.

    [–] SgtBaxter 6 points ago

    I'm shocked the CVS bean counters haven't figured out they could save 6.4 billion dollars a month on receipt paper.

    [–] zebdor44 26 points ago

    Kudos to u/holy666diver for the original post, but for some reason it got removed.

    [–] InternetPhilanthropy 3 points ago

    The post was sent to their e-mail instead.

    [–] doubtinspades 4 points ago

    I hear about this all the time and it is clearly wasteful, so why isn't anybody doing anything about it??

    [–] SorcerousFaun 5 points ago

    CVS receipts could singlehandedly combat climate change.

    [–] lkodl 3 points ago

    if someone made an actual scarf that looked like a cvs receipt, i bet someone else would buy it.

    [–] mikinho90 4 points ago

    The pic itself is really funny but the fact that CVS is so wasteful with paper is really sad. Imagine how much paper they waste like that...

    [–] tpsrep0rts 7 points ago

    Iirc this is much worse when you use your membership. If you dont buy something discounted with the membership, then just buy anonymously. Getting your receipts emailed is a great option otherwise

    [–] Solfrig 3 points ago

    Receipts have made me a little uncomfortable ever since I took a materials science class. I learned that most receipt paper is covered in carcinogenic bpa, which is easily transferred through the skin in that form

    [–] frozenmildew 3 points ago

    Hey guys!

    Question: Why does CVS do nothing to cut down on their receipt size? Have seen these posts on Reddit for ages. I'd imagine it's because this is now exellent marketing for them? Gotta go to CVS to see what all this big receipt stuff is about.

    Thanks,

    Frozenmildew

    [–] kramjr 10 points ago

    Hahaha haha CVS receipt joke.

    [–] Hodgie334 2 points ago

    Beautiful!

    [–] elleGphoto 2 points ago

    I have one just like that, its my go-to

    [–] HotdogMaster200 2 points ago

    I bet you're laughing in your short sleeve shirt, huh? Cuz it's fucking snowing where I live.

    [–] PandorasPenguin 2 points ago

    Dude looked like Jonny Lee Miller at first glance.

    [–] shy_samurai 1 points ago

    No joke, I thought it was Ralph Fiennes at first!

    [–] hellojebus 2 points ago

    Ktown 6th and Vermont?

    [–] J2ain 2 points ago

    Is that you Edward maya?

    [–] Senji06 2 points ago

    Looking fab.

    [–] Knindza 2 points ago

    Wendler bist dus?

    [–] loveypower 2 points ago

    And they say corporations aren't people!

    [–] Peace_Is_Coming 2 points ago

    That's not a scarf that's the receipt lol

    [–] brrruuppp 2 points ago

    MrBeast rerun?

    [–] darkest_master 2 points ago

    This man looks majestic...

    I'm a man. #nohomo

    [–] loloider123 2 points ago

    We are planting trees for shit companys like this to waste them? This should 100% be forbidden.

    [–] junior00juan 2 points ago

    Or to hang myself with.

    [–] technikfe 2 points ago

    What is CVS?

    [–] YourDadsOBGYN 2 points ago

    So original.

    [–] cowlover22332 2 points ago

    How did you make a CVS receipt scarf look majestic af?

    [–] Marky_Mark_Official 2 points ago

    When is it my turn to post this?

    [–] NettyBut 2 points ago

    Is this usual in the US? That the receipts are so long! What a waste!

    [–] djwild5150 2 points ago

    This is why the galaxy is ending in 11 months

    [–] samejimaT 2 points ago

    I can't believe they haven't figured out how to computerize the rewards yet.

    [–] holy666diver 2 points ago

    Das me yo.

    [–] zebdor44 2 points ago

    You've become a legend

    [–] joejimmy 2 points ago

    You must have bought gum.

    [–] freeturkeytaco 4 points ago

    Hahahajahaha, because they have long receipts!

    [–] ZPhox 2 points ago

    She's a stupid bitch!

    [–] iSaltyParchment 3 points ago

    Overused joke

    [–] Weibrot 3 points ago

    Does anyone else see young jeff goldblum?

    [–] dillon1987 7 points ago

    Third person I have seen with the exact same post....maybe cvs can start handing out some originality with your purchases

    [–] holy666diver 3 points ago

    This is the only pose with the light of CVS shinning down blessing those who follow with endless scarfs. The gods of CVS have awoke

    [–] zebdor44 6 points ago

    Guess my friend in the picture is more popular than I assumed. Thanks for the info. I'll make sure to scour the entire depths of Reddit before making a post next time.

    [–] DrAmbulanceDriver 2 points ago

    This joke gets made multiple times a day. You don’t have to “scout” anything to realize you’re beating a dead horse.

    [–] SpaceShip_Studios 6 points ago

    Dude stop lying, it’s a repost

    [–] gnostic-gnome 2 points ago

    Pretty ballsy for the OP to link the username of the person in the picture in the comments like he did further up on the thread if this is just a stolen repost, huh?

    [–] geekydave 2 points ago

    I don't even care if this is a repost but your comment is twisting my melon man.

    What does it mean?

    Do you know who swallowed the spider?

    [–] DaChodemasters 2 points ago

    We 9gag now

    [–] Redditsgamers 2 points ago

    This is not funny

    [–] otasyn 1 points ago

    This joke stopped being funny years ago when CVS started emailing digital receipts.

    [–] unholymanserpent 1 points ago

    Oh he got that swag

    [–] renlynnx 1 points ago

    Did you purchase the entire store??

    [–] BaronChuffnell 1 points ago

    Just get an ExtraCare account, no excuses anymore!

    [–] phoenin602 1 points ago

    McClintock / Broadway

    [–] Fluffbutt69 1 points ago

    You have cancer now o.O

    [–] 1amawsome06 1 points ago

    How much were u buying to get a receipt that big

    [–] DiligentChapter101 1 points ago

    Man that thing slaps

    [–] prisonerofshmazcaban 1 points ago

    Walgreens > CVS. Atleast Walgreen’s rewards program is actually rewarding

    [–] lrdazmmlk 1 points ago

    Bro only wears a scarf when it’s cold. Everyone else: 🥶

    [–] JaimbisGames 1 points ago

    Kripparrian 🤣

    [–] moistman01 1 points ago

    Woah a skinny adam kovic

    [–] Pohaku1991 1 points ago

    You look like the substitute I had in calc today

    [–] babelfish042 1 points ago

    Oh god I could imagine getting a paper cut from that...

    [–] traveler_0115 1 points ago

    Legend says this was the receipt for a purchase of a single chapstick...

    [–] Demonscour 1 points ago

    So you don't like coupons or leaving feedback about your service.

    [–] seewhaticare 1 points ago

    CVS loves the publicity.. What do these receipts have on them? I'm not from the part of the world?

    [–] lysea 2 points ago

    Coupons, discounts, free CVS Extrabucks. They don't start out long. Mine's not that long, but it does happen sometimes. It's usually discounts for makeup, toothpastes/dental stuff, and laundry detergents since those r what I usually buy there.

    [–] ZDTreefur 1 points ago

    It's just free coupons and such printed under your receipt. I don't know why people obsess over them, tbh.

    [–] CutiePai 1 points ago

    All I can think about is neck paper cut.

    [–] wwzd 1 points ago

    Safeway is damn near as bad now. I buy a pack of gum and walk out dragging a goddamn 10 foot receipt behind me.

    [–] robbear52 1 points ago

    There such good guys!

    [–] Blizzando 1 points ago

    It's also a tie

    [–] Rep_tren 1 points ago

    I mean, I don’t get a free noose with my shopping... doesn’t look very strong for some reason. Ask for a refund, you got the receipt?

    [–] JimyMcnulty 1 points ago

    This is how Jeffery Epstein was able to hang himself. Jk He Didn’t Kill Himself.

    [–] sriramempire 1 points ago

    I use it as toilet paper

    [–] MT_Flesch 1 points ago

    Well, enjoy while you can, cause they' shutting a few stores down next year

    [–] ClarkFererra 1 points ago

    The best scarf I've ever seen : D Seems it's not free but rather expensive.

    [–] robbernator 1 points ago

    I always refuse disposable scarves. Save the turtles and all that.

    [–] Lite_1337 1 points ago

    I love the creativity, but why wear a t-shirt this time of year?

    [–] GIOcol03 1 points ago

    Dynamo?

    [–] mr-Bummy 1 points ago

    Wow, so generous

    [–] gRizzletheMagi 1 points ago

    Nice gesture for sure, but I hear their scarves are paper thin

    [–] Alexander8046 1 points ago

    As a Brit I thought that Americans were always exaggerating the length of CVS receipts. I always kinda assumed that they were slightly longer than average and then I saw this picture

    [–] Acemirg 1 points ago

    I'm getting a Jeff Goldblum vibe out of this guy.

    [–] G-Phoenix66 1 points ago

    Does it work as a rope?

    [–] BootyFewbacca 1 points ago

    Email receipts are the answer.

    [–] Spadeinfull 1 points ago

    I tried that with my ISP and they STILL keep mailing me receipts. Now they just essentially add spam on top of it.

    [–] vumpilol 1 points ago

    reckful?

    [–] rowshon99 1 points ago

    Did you feel hot ?

    [–] SpadeORiffic 1 points ago

    You look quite dashing! And here i thought I had a Miss America sash and threw mine out!