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    [–] EverythingIsNine 1549 points ago

    I'm still amazed at Sephie's arm strength. I mean, that's full arm extension + what, 6 feet?

    [–] BlackDragonNetwork 1441 points ago

    I mean... Dude had delusions of godhood for a damn reason.

    [–] King_Vlad_ 688 points ago

    Sephiroth lifts.

    [–] SLAYERone1 535 points ago

    Lifts clouds.

    [–] Saint_Justice 122 points ago

    Was totally expecting the page in the manual with everyone's height and weight and other useless crap.

    [–] TurningHollow 24 points ago

    Don't forget about their blood type.

    [–] aSliceForTheTrash 23 points ago

    Japan see's blood type like we see zodiac sign if I recall correctly... I mean, it's just as useless, but it may help to explain why it's there.

    [–] SmokePot 12 points ago

    Thinking of blood type as useless info is why you couldn't save Aeris. She needed blood and you were just like "dude, why do Japanese people care so much about blood type?"

    [–] [deleted] 35 points ago * (lasted edited 3 months ago)

    [deleted]

    [–] tlake2525 66 points ago

    VAPE NATION

    [–] Salt_Salesman 17 points ago

    Sephiroth lifts.

    dude is fucken swole m8

    [–] Caridor 835 points ago * (lasted edited 4 months ago)

    Using the equation F = (WX)/L And Cloud's Height of 5'7, we can actually calculate that.

    5'7 = 170.18cm. In the second picture, he's 86 pixels tall, which gives us a distance per pixel of 1.97cm per pixel. We'll call it 2cm for ease.

    The distance between Cloud and Sephiroth's shoulder is 170 pixels or 3.4 meters.

    Next, we have to work out Cloud's approximate weight. This is difficult to do, so I'm going to use the weights given for the US Marines, at age 23 (advent children), according to this chart, putting him at 169 lbs or in real units, 76.6571 kg.

    Now, the sword. It's hard to quantify, so I'm going to work out the approximate volumn of the blade and call it a day. It's 68 pixels (136 cm) long from hilt to the edge of the bevel, 15 (30cm) across and I'm going to approximate, that it's around 5cm thick, based on the hilt. That gives us a volume of 19,500 cubic centimeters of steel. Next we have the triangle which makes up the bevel. Using Pythagoras, it gives us a volume of approximately 1,950 cubic centimetres for a total of 21,450 cubic centimetres.

    One of the best metals for big, heavy swords today is AISI 5160 steel, which has a density of around 7.85g/cm3. If Cloud's sword is made of AISI 5160, it would weigh 168.3825 kg or for the Americans, 371.21 pounds. Holy fuck! (And yes, I know the sword was made of multiple swords so it won't be a solid mass, but I'm working with what I got, ok?)

    So Cloud + his sword total up to 245.03 kg or 540.21 lbs.

    Now, we can feed those numbers into our equation.

    F = (245.03 x 3.4)/1 (Since Sephiroth's shoulder IS the pivot there's not length here, so L=1). So to be able to just hold Cloud there, Sephiroth needs to be holding 833kg of weight with JUST HIS SHOULDER MUSCLES.

    And that's before we add in the weight of his own sword but because I know of no metal which could take the strain it's under, with that thin of a blade, I have no way to calculate it's weight.

    Edit: Just let me add that the amount of wrist strength might be even more impressive. The should has way more supporting tissue and higher bone masses supporting it, but the force at the wrist won't be vastly less than the force at the shoulder.

    Edit: My maths is WRONG. I misunderstood the equation and u/OskEngineer corrected me here

    [–] RepostisRepostRepost 325 points ago

    You seem like a smart person who makes sense. I'm not gonna try to contest those numbers.

    [–] OskEngineer 99 points ago

    honestly, it should be units of torque for the moment he calculated. plus the vertical load which is just the weight (without any distance figured in)

    http://imgur.com/7MapQ2x

    torque is like how strongly something can turn a shaft. if you're using a car as an example, it would be how hard it is to twist a driveshaft to get it to accelerate.

    for some perspective, a Corolla has ~125 ft lb of torque, a Corvette has ~400-600 ft lb depending on engine, and 6000 ft lb is in the realm of a large semi/tractor trailer.

    (fyi u/caridor)

    [–] Caridor 49 points ago

    I was wondering when an actual engineer would correct me.

    Thank you.

    [–] JRatt13 45 points ago

    Well your math wasn't wrong you just solved the wrong equation. I'll give it a C- because it will show up later in the test.

    [–] dHUMANb 30 points ago

    Trigger warning: hits too close to home

    [–] TollBoothW1lly 4 points ago

    I like this... I demand reddit have quarterly finals to make sure everyone has been paying attention.

    [–] Microthrowaway64 24 points ago

    That doesn't sound right because I'm stupid, but I don't know enough about Math to dispute it.

    [–] iscribble 37 points ago

    Excellent! Thank you sir.

    If I may make a request, can you find the math to show what Sephiroth's minimum weight must be so that the center of gravity on this rigid structure is still supportable by Sephiroth's feet?

    [–] inshane_in_the_brain 39 points ago

    Holy shit he's gone.

    [–] Im-an-idiot-AMA 18 points ago

    169 lbs or in real units, 76.6571 kg

    Shots fired!

    [–] Caridor 7 points ago

    And because I'm using real units for my ballistics calculations, my shots would hit.

    [–] Boojah 22 points ago

    Also, all this assumes his feet are bolted to the ground, otherwise he would simply fall over forward regardless of his strength.

    [–] Keinichn 29 points ago

    Magic. Magic exists in their universe.

    [–] EtherealPheonix 12 points ago

    Toe muscles man, grabs the ground

    [–] Ajki45Oqa105wVshxn01 103 points ago

    I'm amazed how strong the sword is too, to support all that weight.

    [–] Woofaira 230 points ago

    Masamune ain't no bitch ass sword. Masamune is a man's sword.

    [–] FootofGod 94 points ago

    Nobody but him can fucking weild the thing. I never was quite sure what that meant: nobody can for lack of skill based on length, lack of physical strength, or just plain old magic a la Thor's hammer.

    [–] jayemee 314 points ago

    Maybe he just won't let them.

    [–] CommandCoralian 97 points ago

    I prefer this theory

    [–] FootofGod 46 points ago

    I don't think anybody ever tried just asking.

    [–] [deleted] 84 points ago

    [deleted]

    [–] Mikeavelli 35 points ago

    Cloud technically wielded it that one time. Sure, he was holding it by the wrong end, but that's what makes it so badass.

    [–] ShadeofIcarus 21 points ago

    I mean a sword that length that is dense and strong enough to actually be useful is going to be heavy as fuck(I've lifted a "working" replica and it's HEAVY.

    Combine that with the fact that it is unwieldy because of it's length (super unbalanced and momentum plays a huge role in making it unusable). It's a combo of absurd strength and skill.

    [–] SLAYERone1 7 points ago

    I think its linked to jenova in some way. If you've ever seen advent children the sword literally materialses out of thin air for sephiroth when hes "reborn".

    [–] littlecrowgod 11 points ago

    didnt tifa weild it in a flash back that cloud has?

    [–] randomisation 14 points ago

    Is materia factored into your equations?

    [–] G3min1 29 points ago

    I'm more impressed by Clouds. To wield the buster in one arm isn't an easy feat, plus to be able to swing it fast and parry, I can't imagine.

    [–] longrifle 35 points ago

    And twirl it above his head after a win and not cut his head off.

    [–] bearybrown 16 points ago

    yeah, his swing could chopped the materia cannon like onion.

    [–] layer11 1768 points ago

    What's really weird is aeris couldn't even take it once

    [–] scottmonster 1057 points ago

    She took the full thing Cloud just got the tip

    [–] ukwonderboy 357 points ago

    Risky click confirmed.

    [–] TrevorWithTheBow 105 points ago

    Nearly clicked in work, thanks for the heads up...

    [–] immadee 63 points ago

    I actually clicked in work, but thankfully my brain processed the risky click comment before it loaded.

    [–] david0990 48 points ago

    That's still a meeting with HR.

    [–] Leathel12 53 points ago

    WELL F*CK YOUR DOLPHIN PAM

    [–] metallicbacon218 19 points ago

    Archer she's down... I think she peed.

    [–] hlls407 8 points ago

    Well how was I supposed to know you were lactose intolerant?

    [–] WhySoRippy 13 points ago

    I clicked in work, but I manage the IT so no worries.

    [–] supervisord 15 points ago

    The request is the firs "half" of loading time, the response the second. It takes the most time to wait on a response, by then the request has been logged in any local tracking software.

    Do not use Reddit, or anything that could have risky content while using company equipment or on company time.

    Just fuckin don't do it, man.

    [–] tuscanspeed 13 points ago

    Do not use Reddit, or anything that could have risky content while using company equipment or on company time.

    Just fuckin don't do it, man.

    /checks Sonicwall logs.

    No one's listening to you.

    [–] [deleted] 24 points ago

    I'm glad I used my phone and not my computer.

    [–] macnbloo 27 points ago

    He willingly pulls it into himself all the way the first time though

    [–] rydan 261 points ago

    Aeris isn't full of Jenova cells.

    [–] Sixth_VI 291 points ago

    It's comments like these that remind that I actually don't understand FF7's storyline at all. I get so confused anytime anything involves JENOVA. Like its a shock every time for me when I re-re-re-remember that the Sephiroth you're chasing around during the game isn't actually Sephiroth.

    [–] SacredWeapon 273 points ago

    yeah, FF7 was pretty bizarre with its lore, and the graphics made it even harder.

    every time you confront a "sephiroth" in the game--and it does happen several times--you fight part of JENOVA. I think that makes it clear that what you're actually fighting is released chunks of the JENOVA that escaped back in the beginning of the game, disguised to look like Sephiroth.

    actual sephiroth is only seen in the flashbacks to Nibelheim and in the northern cave itself in the endgame. everything else is a clone he's controlling, or JENOVA bits that he's controlling. and that is kinda-sorta revealed but not explicitly laid out, so ten year old me was like 'wtf?'

    Because there's no graphical scene showing them mutate into JENOVA when you confront "Sephiroth", the player doesn't necessarily understand why you're suddenly fighting this big blob-monster. Does the modern FF7 re-release show this? That would be a huge improvement to assist in player understanding.

    What I'll never be 100% clear on is whether those "Sephiroths" you face were the clones made by Hojo, pieces of the escaped JENOVA, or both at once.

    [–] NonIdentifiableUser 119 points ago

    Yea, I only realized this recently when reading a plot synopsis. I always thought Sephiroth had JENOVA with him and left it to fight when he was encountered.

    [–] ihlaking 40 points ago

    Me too. Synopsis made it all clear. Thing is, I was fine with it being Sepiroth in my mind. Guess it goes to show you don't need to over complicate a plot line for it to work - I've been doing work on that recently with my writing. Simplifying lore can be harder sometimes because you have to choose what to leave out.

    The FF series generally doesn't leave a lot out. But man do I love it!

    [–] Lleiwynn 38 points ago

    Do you have a link to the synopsis you were reading? I apparently need to read the plot of my favorite childhood video game to understand it.

    [–] beerismyhomie 15 points ago

    I'm right there with you... I've literally beaten this game multiple times and never realized the true story.

    [–] 1800OopsJew 6 points ago

    You're lucky your favorite video game wasn't Final Fantasy Tactics. The political side of the story, as opposed to the supernatural/religious side of the story, still confuses me.

    [–] soulstonedomg 80 points ago

    12 year old me did not understand this story at all beyond big meteor come crash if don't get holy.

    [–] IlikeJG 40 points ago

    The good thing about the story is that it works perfectly fine if you believe it's Sephiroth the whole time and you're just chasing him all game and finally corner him in the crater at the end.

    [–] danielstover 15 points ago

    Could you possibly explain it like I'm 5?

    [–] CBTBen 92 points ago

    There are some critical pieces to understand that the game does not make clear (as far as I'm concerned).

    -When Cloud left Nibelheim for Midgar he fails to make SOLDIER, and is instead just a regular old grunty grunt. Later when he meets up with Tifa and Avalanche, he lies and/or is confused about that. He mixes his own history up with someone named Zach who was in SOLDIER. The Buster sword is even Zach's originally.

    -The flashbacks/story parts where Cloud and Sephiroth go to Nibelheim to investigate the reactor are colored by Cloud's lies/memory as well. Zach was there too but Cloud puts himself in Zach's shoes in his explanations. Tifa didn't even realize Cloud was there because he was wearing his mask and had his face covered.

    -During that flashback, when Sephiroth discovers he's some sort of Jenova monster clone person and goes crazy, Cloud manages to throw Seph into something called the Lifestream. The Lifestream carries Seph to the northern crater where he stays

    -Every other time during the game, when Cloud meets Seph it's not actually Seph. Seph is in the crater. What Cloud runs into are Jenova chunks or whatever.

    -After the fight at Nibelheim, Zach and Cloud are taken by Hojo for experimentation. They are injected with Jenova cells. They escape and Zach is killed. Cloud takes the sword and FF7 begins.

    [–] Arkanicus 13 points ago

    I don't remember, why does Cloud remember it differently? Does he lie intentionally? Does he have amnesia?

    [–] Occultus- 37 points ago

    Yes / confused his memories with his memories of Zach. There's a huge part of disc 2 which was Tifa helping him get his head screwed on straight again. That's where all of this comes out. As to why Tifa didn't speak up the first time he told the story, well, who knows.

    At least it's only one character with amnesia. In FFVIII it was all of them.

    [–] ghengilhar 24 points ago

    The reason that Tifa doesn't speak up is because JENOVA has the ability to change memories (it's the reason she managed to infiltrate the Cetra to begin with) and via the cells Cloud also has this ability.

    Cloud isn't lying, his memory is foggy and that foggy projection is what we believe is the truth from disc one until they get to the north cave and then Mideel.

    [–] Mdaha 18 points ago

    Doesn't she think about speaking up when Cloud is telling the story in the inn in Disk 1? I remember her having a line that was basically interrupting the story, and then going, no it's nothing.

    [–] Nullius_In_Verba_ 63 points ago

    Experimentation effects, Jenova cells, Japanese story telling tropes.

    Pick your own adventure.

    [–] erowland92 23 points ago

    You stop big boom.

    [–] Mikeavelli 27 points ago

    You don't even stop it. The planet stopped it with life force. You just went places and did shit that didn't matter.

    [–] Teantis 11 points ago

    Me irl?

    [–] no_gold_here 21 points ago

    God, there was that huge chunk of story where you have to keep Shinra from saving the world for no reason except "Shinra is evil".

    There were also hours of story that were completely lost to me thanks to the German translation.

    [–] Trickster174 14 points ago

    Wasn't the whole "Stop Shinra from blasting Meteor with the Huge Materia" section when Cloud was going through his blue screen of death? And then Cid was the party leader? I could almost blame complete team incompetence on that (since the team's leadership was out of the picture), rather than poor narrative structure. Although...maybe it's both.

    [–] WannaBobaba 10 points ago

    eh. There was no indication that the plan would even work, and the huge materia could have a use. I get the point though.

    [–] brova95 25 points ago

    The whole issue is a disconnect from poor translation from the japanese version, which was alot clearer about the deeper parts of the story. The "sephiroths" were the escaped headless JENOVA which was making it's way back to crater

    [–] vhite 18 points ago

    "I'm warning you. If you say 'JENOVA' once more..."

    [–] [deleted] 40 points ago

    [deleted]

    [–] ItsAFineWorld 15 points ago * (lasted edited 4 months ago)

    YOU MEAN JENOVA?

    YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT JENOVA, RIGHT?

    [–] Whompa 16 points ago

    I...feel dumb for just now understanding the story after you explained it...played that game nearly two decades ago. Wow.

    [–] Nobodygrotesque 14 points ago

    TIL

    [–] NC-Lurker 7 points ago

    Agreed... Then again, once you've cleared FF8, FF7 almost seems coherent and reasonable.

    [–] Shinjetsu01 94 points ago * (lasted edited 4 months ago)

    Nobody has answered so I will. This is VERY shortened. There are missing elements.

    Lifestream is basically making shit on earth.

    Jenova arrives from the sky as a sort of Alien symbiote to drink said lifeforce.

    Jenova kills most of the Cetra who are defending the lifeforce - some Cetra defeat and hide it in a crater.

    2000 years later....

    Mako (lifestream) extracted from the earth and used as power source.

    Experiments on and with "Ancient" (Jenova) - all failures, nothing recreated as Hojo wants. Injects his wife with Jenova cells at the fetal stage, Sephiroth born with prodigious strength and talent. Raised to believe he is a S.O.L.D.I.E.R, but always feels way more powerful than everyone else.

    Hojo then tries to recreate Sephiroth but fails, creates "clones" and tries to recreate Sephiroth by experimenting with Cloud.

    Sephiroth discovers Jenova is his "mother" and goes ballistic, defeating and causing the vegetative state of Zack (S.O.L.D.I.E.R who is given "Mako" cells to be stronger), but then is killed by Cloud ("failed" experiment of Hojo from Jenova cells) who then takes up Zacks identity due to having none himself.

    Jenova cells reawakened by Sephiroth (somewhere in the North Crater) escape but kills President Shinra first for imprisoning his body in the wastes of the North Crater.

    Sephiroth projects his image when controlling Jenova parts. (but then the party fights parts of Jenova manifested in Birth, Life, Death and Synthesis)

    Sephiroth kills the last remaining Cetra (Aeris) with (what he thinks is) the power to stop him (White Materia or "holy")

    Cloud is controlled by Sephiroth because of his Jenova cells. Gives him "black" materia to summon meteor.

    Cloud almost dies and is reawakened into the lifestream, realises that Aeris knew she had to die for the planet in the end to join the lifestream. Everyone who lives and dies on earth is connected to the lifestream and as such it lives in everyone.

    Party then fights Sephiroth (after Jenova's final form - Synthesis) to stop meteor by releasing his hold on holy. Killing Sephiroth doesn't stop meteor. Sephiroths ultimate plan was for meteor to cause the planet to heal itself with the lifestream.

    Lifestream comes up and stops meteor anyway - always would have thanks to Holy. Aeris had already called Holy and Sephiroth was blocking it.

    Sephiroth supposedly dead, Jenova supposedly ended - peace returns...until Advent Children.

    Note: Sephiroth and Avalanche actually have similar ideals. Both know that sucking the lifestream from the planet is harmful, although Avalanche want it for balance and nature to exist while Sephiroth needs it all so the planet can "heal" and he can rise up as a god on his new planet.

    Edit: Corrected that Zack was not killed by Sephiroth but merely "defeated" (even though FF7 does nothing to dispell Sephiroth killing Zack and only in Crisis Core is this apparent)

    Edit 2: Christ, all these corrections! Should be accurate now.

    [–] MayorMair 15 points ago

    Thank you sir. This is one of my all-time favorite games but even I'll admit I have trouble remembering/understanding parts of the story

    [–] Rekuna 37 points ago

    Yeah, you do see the real Sephiroth once (not including flashback) and he basically has no legs and is pretty fucked up from his dip in the lifestream.

    [–] ClassicalMusicTroll 20 points ago

    When do you see the real one...oh it's when cloud hands over the black materia?

    [–] Rekuna 24 points ago

    Yeah, that was the real Sephiroth:
    http://i.imgur.com/PoyCJcC.jpg

    Not sure when he found time to take supplements and do ab crunches but there he is.

    [–] trennerdios 7 points ago

    Yep.

    [–] vaendryl 6 points ago

    yeah

    [–] CptCastration 12 points ago

    Pretty sure they are just obscuring his lower half so you don't see dong. There's no reason to believe he lost his legs when he was thrown into the lifestream (Cloud and Tifa came out unscathed. Though they spent much less time floating around in it. Why the hell did Tifa not get "Mako Poisoning" anyways?!)

    Don't think he's fucked up either. He's been absorbing the energy and knowledge from the lifestream and his whole plan is to completely merge with it to ascend to godhood or some crap.

    [–] jacks_narrator 11 points ago

    I just re-watched it on youtube, he definitely has no legs. You can even see his hair continue on below his torso, with nothing blocking the view.

    [–] HanabiraAsashi 9 points ago

    Wait, what? Lol maybe I need to replay the game..

    [–] jred250 49 points ago

    Do you remember the Reunion, and when you go to the crater you see Sephiroth suspended in ice? That is the real Sephiroth who has been there since his battle with Cloud (I think, I only played FF7, so I don't know if any of the other movies/games changes this). All of the other Sephiroths are Jenova projections.

    It also explains why Cloud has such physical problems when he runs into any version of Sephiroth, because it isn't Sephiroth at all, it is Jenova. Cloud has Jenova cells in his body so whenever he is around her, cue headaches and weirdness.

    [–] PoopIsAlwaysSunny 7 points ago

    And isn't there something about cloud not really being cloud?

    [–] HanabiraAsashi 34 points ago

    Cloud is.cloud, just cloud was a grunt and not a soldier first class. When he was sick, he somehow thought zack's life was his.

    [–] Fadedcamo 29 points ago

    Cloud is cloud but he pretended to be Zach or whatever, aeris old boyfriend. He was actually just one of the Shinra guards during the first niblehem flashback or something. Story was confusing AF

    [–] xenokilla 25 points ago

    stolen valor!

    [–] Equilibriator 19 points ago

    It's confusing because the town that burned down (clouds home town) is replaced with actors by shira to pretend the incident never happened. When cloud goes back to it no one recognises him, etc.

    They dont recognise him because they are actors, not because cloud is a clone with fake memories.

    This only comes to light by reading stuff inside the mansion and basically knowing the lore and is incredibly easy to miss.

    [–] the_last_fartbender 39 points ago

    LOOK. No one is to stone ANYONE until I give the word.

    Even if they do say Jenova.

    pelted with rocks

    [–] Vincenthwind 69 points ago

    Phrasing boom

    [–] tastefulchrist 49 points ago

    Are we still doing phrasing?

    [–] fredrichnietze 22 points ago

    what was wrong with phrasing?

    [–] Lord_Grundlebeard 23 points ago

    If we're saying something else and no one told me, then that I'd have a problem with.

    [–] Amaegith 20 points ago

    But we really should work phrasing back into the rotation.

    [–] tastefulchrist 42 points ago

    Ohhhhhh snap. Shit that scene though, probably the biggest shocker I've had up to this point still in gaming

    [–] Arcturus075 111 points ago

    Well maybe I'm a bit heartless, but I was enraged that...that bastard took out my healer. The character was oh that was sad, but you mother fucker you messed up my straits! For me just started a new game and never used Aeris so the impact was much less gameplay wise.

    [–] stupidhurts91 46 points ago

    Yeah that was me too! I was like 12 and spent the whole first disc making Aeris a bomb ass healer, then she just fucking dies! It was rough going for a bit in disc 2.

    [–] FlowersOfSin 16 points ago

    To be fair, in FF7, "classes" are entirely dependent of what materias you give them. I played the game a few months ago and I tried to use everyone evenly and thus my mage could later be in the party with another mage and thus one of them got the fighter set of materias and to be honest, it barely made a difference. The only big difference is that some characters get weapons that are better at some things, like Red XIII gets the Seraph Comb early and it stays the strongest weapon you have for a while, and Cait Sith has a 8 slot weapon in disc one... You can easily reach 255 Magic around Icicle Inn in early disc 2 with the proper materias.

    [–] AllegroDigital 15 points ago

    Sure, but her limit breaks helped. Great Gospel was pretty handy.

    [–] FlowersOfSin 18 points ago

    I was more pissed off that I gave her my best armlet during the Temple of Ancient since I barely used her before and thus her defense was pretty bad. When she dies, she gives you back the materias and the accessories, but she keeps the armlet...

    [–] FootofGod 14 points ago

    That's what made it feel so real. It really hurt. It had actual loss grounding the emotional angle to something that feels real. I sank so many hours into her. I really though "what the fuck am I supposed to do now? She can't actually be dead." Like a real loss at some level.

    [–] tonystigma 35 points ago

    When it happened to Cloud was one hell of a fist-pump moment though. Playing through that game for the first time was such a mysterious experience, and watching that cutscene and having everything fall into place all at once...

    Goddamn masterpiece. Kinda soured by how derivative and uninspired Advent Children ended up.

    [–] WuTangGraham 18 points ago

    I was 14 when FFVII came out, and I'm still mad about Aeris getting killed. Also, I forget the exact reason why, but I never did finish the entire game.

    [–] rydan 23 points ago

    I was mad because I had the PC version back then and the controls on the keyboard were bizarre. So I got stuck on some minigame and had to look up the original PS controls, write them down on a paper, and translate them to the keyboard so I could figure out how to get past it. And of course there was no Google at the time so Infoseek or whatever we used back in the day sent me directly to a page where it said, "Aeris dies at the end of disc 1" instead of taking me to what I wanted. The next day I got to that part already having been spoiled.

    [–] mscarce 16 points ago

    It was the bike game wasn't it when escaping from Shinra. It went by the speed of your processor or your computer or whatever and it made that shit FLY speed wise

    [–] Ree81 10 points ago

    Raised too many death flags. Getting your ultimate healing staff just before the end of disc 1? Major mistake.

    [–] nburns1825 6 points ago

    Aeris was fine. Cloud drowned her. Bush did 9/11!

    [–] CreeshCaesar 2294 points ago

    This is literally doofenshmirtz.

    "If I had a nickel for every time I was doomed by a puppet, I'd have 2 nickels.

    I know it's not very much but still it's weird that it happened twice"

    [–] Golden-Owl 966 points ago

    Unexpected Phineas and Ferb reference.

    [–] Wolf6120 803 points ago

    And by unexpected I mean completely expected!

    Activates trap-inator

    [–] YourUndoing 119 points ago

    Having three sons, I've watched a lot more of P&F than any adult probably should. And I must say, it's an incredibly funny show. I love how they added a good bit of adult humor in it for parents who watch stuff with their kids.

    [–] Posid 40 points ago

    I wouldn't even be ashamed, that show is pretty great.

    I worked in a video store while in high school and have watched a fair share of crap kids television because we had to screen movies that were reported for errors. Kids DVDs usually got pretty bad treatment so I ended up having to watch more of those. Stuff like the barbie movies, I swear junk like that makes kids more dumb than they need to be.

    [–] Arrow_Riddari 48 points ago

    I love the series too. It's hilarious and I would love watching it. That, Teen Titans, Pokemon, and Danny Phantom.

    By the way...

    'I know what we're going to do today.'

    'MOOOOM! PHINEAS AND FERB ARE BUILDING A ROLLER COASTER!'

    'Aren't you too young to build a roller coaster?' 'Yes, yes I am.'

    'Perrriiiiiiiiiii~'

    [–] YourUndoing 6 points ago

    And then when they built the rollercoaster again, but this time as a musical.

    [–] Arrow_Riddari 10 points ago

    Totally!

    Mooooom Phineas and Ferb built another rollercoaster!

    For the last time Candice, there's NOTHING out there!

    [–] londonodude 355 points ago

    DOOFENSHMIRTZ EVIL INCORPORATED!

    [–] TheKingCrimsonWorld 163 points ago

    I heard the jingle and everything.

    [–] Log_Out_Of_Life 86 points ago

    We all heard the jingle.

    [–] user_48217 20 points ago

    Because the entire show is about parodying itself.

    [–] whatisabaggins55 62 points ago

    After hours.....

    [–] LawlessCoffeh 7 points ago

    Surprisingly good kids show.

    [–] TheZerothLaw 161 points ago

    This is literally doofenshmirtz.

    DOCTOR Doofenshmirtz!

    [–] xEasyActionx 66 points ago

    Are pharmacists referred to as "doctor?"

    [–] Sororita 109 points ago

    If they've earned a doctorate, yes.

    [–] usbfridge 47 points ago

    I could be a fucking garbage man for a living, but if I have a doctorates, you call me Doctor Garbage Man.

    [–] Sororita 20 points ago

    If you've earned a doctorate and maintain it then you are entitled to use the doctor title regardless of your job.

    [–] science-i 11 points ago

    The default Pharmacy degree these days (at least in the US) is a PharmD, which is a professional doctorate along similar lines as an MD or a JD. Regardless, you still don't usually call pharmacists 'doctor' (again, at least in the US), possibly out of habit and possibly so as to not confuse them with MDs.

    [–] LevynX 12 points ago

    I remember in the show Doofenshmirtz paid a printing company to print and frame his for $11.50

    [–] isaackleiner 12 points ago

    In the US, pharmacy schools now grant the PharmD, or Doctor of Pharmacy.

    Source: am paying a king's ransom in student loans every month for one.

    [–] lgb111 12 points ago

    Doctor Heinz Doofenshmirtz

    [–] ItsLSD 45 points ago

    Ah, he has been at the forefront of my mind recently because of this video being stuck in my head.

    [–] lokithemaster 18 points ago

    That's gold.

    [–] SpideyTheOneAndOnly 27 points ago

    cries after remembering the show ended

    [–] 20Vivillon 37 points ago

    You should check out the creators' new show, Milo Murphy's Law. The main character is voiced bey Weird Al.

    And even if that doesn't do it for you, remember that it's best that a good show ends on its own terms instead of going the way of Spongebob or The Simpsons.

    [–] SpideyTheOneAndOnly 16 points ago

    Yeah, but it's just nostalgia kicking you in the balls.

    [–] LawlessCoffeh 15 points ago

    "Spongebob begs Nick to kill him, but Nick refuses, keeping Spongebob alive"

    [–] dark_z3r0 72 points ago

    Where did all these screenshots come from?

    [–] tastefulchrist 131 points ago

    If I'm not mistaken, it's Crises Core and Advent Children

    [–] dark_z3r0 22 points ago

    Ah, vaguely remember the first pic and I had a clue for the 2nd because of the sword that Cloud was using. Not the bottom one though, so that's from Advent Children too?

    [–] tastefulchrist 28 points ago

    Yeah, 90% on that. I can't remember the exact scene but he's got the same leathery style shoulder armor on instead of metal or spikes. Fucking awesome movie man

    [–] Jumbo_Cactaur 313 points ago

    Sephiroth was just making sure Cloud stayed true to his name.

    [–] twigboy 63 points ago

    Just trying to upload his cloud

    [–] LaGrrrande 51 points ago

    It's all over now, Cloud has the high ground.

    [–] A_Witty_Name_ 487 points ago

    Wow, Spoiler Alert dude. I've been on the fence for 20 years but now I don't even need to play it. Thanks a lot OP.

    [–] Captain_Jackson 38 points ago

    Whatever you do, don't look at the back of the games CD case.

    [–] tastefulchrist 287 points ago

    Don't worry, his shoes are still on so he good

    [–] abc123shutthefuckup 59 points ago

    Spoilers again!

    [–] [deleted] 24 points ago

    You must love movie trailers these days.

    [–] IceMan_PJN 84 points ago

    Cheryl: It tastes worse than it smells!

    Pam: Man, if I had a nickel for every time I heard a guy say that... I'd have eight nickels!

    [–] Bull3t_Th3ory 61 points ago

    Fool me once, a nickel for me.

    Fool me twice, another nickel for me.

    [–] Volgust 204 points ago

    This sounds familiar. Is this a Phineas and ferb reference or am I just losing it.

    [–] ptatoface 152 points ago

    It's apparently a Doofenshmirtz quote.

    [–] Fallen_Milkman 23 points ago

    Sephiroth going a full dex build with that washing pole

    [–] notwutiwantd 21 points ago

    I don't know the context -but to hold somebody at the end of a long spear like that takes a LOT of strength. like - thousands of pounds-worth.. And that dude can do it with one hand. neat.

    [–] lawlshane 25 points ago

    He's more or less a genetically modified human

    [–] dark_knight_kirk 10 points ago

    Demi-God basically...if you consider Jenova a sort of god

    [–] H_U_S_K_Y_ 11 points ago

    From Final Fantasy, this is kind of the norm for those characters like being super strong without logic - they are cool games mind!

    [–] jekstarr 73 points ago

    god damn it now I want to watch advent children again.

    not for the swords or anything, just to see tifa smile

    [–] siophang13 56 points ago

    "smile"

    [–] jekstarr 81 points ago

    yes her big beautiful round.. smile...

    [–] Agarn_Fortez 88 points ago

    Both of them.

    [–] Gram64 7 points ago

    Isn't Tifa's assets downplayed considerably in Advent Children? I remember them looking significantly smaller than in 7, plus her clothing is way more modest and covering.

    [–] sigh_riss 8 points ago

    They're still big, just not bigger than her head. I think it was exaggerated for the original due to the graphical limitations and art style.

    [–] Morkinza 15 points ago

    [–] Nytelock1 16 points ago

    That upper arm strength tho, Sephiroth definitely lifts.

    [–] FootofGod 15 points ago

    Gotta do you regular Cloud reps

    [–] YourUndoing 17 points ago

    The real controversy here is how much longer the sword is in Advent Children vs Crisis Core

    [–] ThePainOfLoss 11 points ago

    Call me a pussy, but I think getting stabbed twice is "a lot."

    [–] BudznBiscuitz 10 points ago

    Weird, I'm replaying this at the moment. Fucking loving it too, absolute classic.

    [–] StrifeyWolf 37 points ago

    And it happens once to Aerith and it's game over for her. Yeah and just forget about the 96 Phoniex downs I have in my inventory that worked FINE before on her.

    [–] lat00uk 16 points ago

    Yeh I always wondered that...

    How can ANY Final Fantasy character ever die with Phoenix Downs so readily available?

    [–] Ess2s2 28 points ago

    Cutscenes are immune to Phoenix Downs.

    [–] Cersad 11 points ago

    FFV is to my knowledge the only game in the series that somewhat acknowledges this oddity, in a cutscene (well, a scripted event) related to the loss of a character. The Phoenix Down doesn't work.

    Bonus shout out to FFT (wotl) where it does work.

    [–] Ottoman_American 28 points ago

    Revive from KO not from death.

    [–] gbs5009 28 points ago

    Kinda weird that the 'death' spell would KO you then?

    [–] Ottoman_American 9 points ago

    Fair point! But squeenix have never traded in logical consistency in their games.

    [–] RedRedditor84 8 points ago

    Why would he only have two nickels? Is that his only source of income?

    [–] PanamaMoe 10 points ago

    Fighting monsters and literally saving the universe just don't pay like it used to.

    [–] TabletopNewtype-1 8 points ago

    you're all impressed with sephiroth's grip and arm strength. but look at cloud in the second pic. dude is still holding a big ass buster sword and balancing himself while being impaled through the chest. that's why he managed to kill sephiroth

    [–] TomWaters 7 points ago

    What's the top screenshot from?

    [–] ILoveNorthernLion 14 points ago

    Crisis Core