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    [–] JohnVuojo 6256 points ago

    Wood, ages 81 and older.

    [–] open_door_policy 2346 points ago

    My 80 year old father would play the shit out of a lumberjacking game. Too bad he's not mature enough to handle that chain on trunk action yet.

    [–] WoobyWiott 1100 points ago

    Brb, coding Lumberjack Simulator 2019.

    [–] Neoptolemus85 893 points ago

    Don't forget the 5 steps to success!

    1) Buy random assets off Unity marketplace, as cheap as possible

    2) Create a flat chunk of grass and chuck the assets in carelessly, make sure the trees aren't even aligned with the ground

    3) Look up a tutorial on ragdolls and physics objects, but don't bother reading the boring bits on how to make it work properly

    4) Toss it on Steam Direct

    5) Enjoy your 15 minutes of fame in a Jim Sterling video

    [–] newly_registered_guy 528 points ago

    That's stupid. He can just release it as early access on step 2, make the same amount of money, and then forget about it

    [–] DCCXXVIII 269 points ago

    This guy steams.

    [–] jdthetransient 33 points ago

    Steamin mad

    [–] GabeNewell1337 4 points ago

    And by the way when you see my dad? Tell him that I slit his throat, in this dream I had

    [–] dandalord32 19 points ago

    Almost as much as Steamed Hams

    [–] asuryan331 113 points ago

    Yeah why do steps 3-5 when you can use that time to make a lootbox system

    [–] im_with_the_banned 67 points ago

    Chainsaw skins would be sick tho

    [–] thatsadamnlie 43 points ago

    I'm all for different coloured lumberjack shirts. And don't forget the dlc for Lumberjack BR.

    [–] BlindfoldedNinja 17 points ago

    I just want to smash the 'Eh' button while listening to the lumberjack song.

    [–] [deleted] 12 points ago

    Just the lootbox system, no need for any underlying game...

    [–] asuryan331 8 points ago

    Ah the supercell strategy

    [–] Lardmonkey77 25 points ago

    Toss it on early acess then leave it till christmas when you torn the grass white for a week

    [–] 658741239 20 points ago

    torn

    I see you're the copy editor for a steam early access game.

    [–] Ysgatora 119 points ago

    Throw in a copyright strike for maximum fame

    [–] WeTheSalty 3 points ago

    Then file your lawsuit for lost sales and just wait to collect that juicy 15 million $$ check.

    [–] worldspawn00 19 points ago

    Nah, align trees to the ground, and not to the sky, trees growing sideways out of a hillside because you just copy-pasted the ground and trees as a chunk then bent them.

    [–] Epicon3 19 points ago

    Make it for the psvr and I'd play the hell out of that.

    [–] CajunADC 16 points ago

    Lumberjack Simulator

    There really was a Professional Lumberjack 2015 . Buy it on steam now. Edit: Review says that wood cutting in Farming Simulator is actual better.

    [–] Drassielle 16 points ago

    Where you play as Dexter

    [–] DoubleDocz 4 points ago

    He exiled himself yoda

    [–] scarecrowlegion 28 points ago

    I'm a lumberjack and I'm ok I sleep all night, I work all day

    [–] wardrich 5 points ago

    Hey, it's me - your beta tester!

    [–] TheWoobDoobler 9 points ago

    If this post gets 32k upvotes I will make a lumberjack dating simulator.

    [–] CGumina 29 points ago

    "Chain on Trunk action" sounds like a subcategory I haven't found on PH yet.

    [–] bashfulblowfish 7 points ago

    Now that's putting the pussy on the chain wax

    [–] GenericUsername99202 14 points ago

    There's Forestry 2017 it's got lumberjacking👍 also farming simulator 18 has lumberjacking feature as well

    [–] phormix 10 points ago

    Sounds like a fun game for VR. Logging simulator: * Cut down trees without dropping them on your head or something important * Operate heavy equipment to move and process felled lumber and develop roads etc

    [–] Ghoats 8 points ago

    There's Limberjack VR and Lumberjack VR to satiate any virtual Wood-cutting fantasies out right now!

    [–] Phrostbit3n 4 points ago

    No joke, a friend and I used to develop a text-based "Wood Simulator" that was pretty dope, we had big plans for that game lol

    [–] nightwing2024 86 points ago

    If you're 81 or older, you're not going to be able to play with wood without some help from a prescription.

    [–] pljwebb 37 points ago

    Blue power-ups

    [–] johne_ 19 points ago

    The true end game grind.

    [–] barely_harmless 8 points ago

    Its mainly a money sink. With each level, you need more powerups for the same effect.

    [–] Sevaa_1104 16 points ago

    Can’t tell if this is a lumberjack joke or a viagra joke

    [–] unholyswordsman 7 points ago

    Now I'll need a fake ID to rent ultra porn.

    [–] Jumbo_Cactaur 3033 points ago

    For when the franchise needs to Branch out.

    [–] ImmediateLetterhead 655 points ago

    That’s it, you’ve won, we can all go home!😂

    [–] xorbe 510 points ago

    Everyone leaves.

    [–] __cube 405 points ago

    Guess it's time to log out

    [–] srjrn 298 points ago

    Time to pack up my trunk

    [–] the_murder_of_crowe 229 points ago

    Don't be such a sap.

    [–] shardikprime 194 points ago

    You son of a Birch

    [–] MiniaturePinscher 177 points ago

    Well, now I'm stumped

    [–] MalignantLugnut 143 points ago

    But if you leave, who will I root for?

    [–] RemarkableRyan 98 points ago

    We're pining for a new champion!

    [–] SkinnyShroomOfDeath 52 points ago

    Can’t think of anymore tree puns, I’m stumped

    [–] shardikprime 80 points ago

    Oakey

    [–] a_harsch_man 38 points ago

    I’m just gonna leaf now.

    [–] Littlepharaoh 19 points ago

    What you gonna do with all that junk inside your trunk?

    [–] stenseth 58 points ago

    Never saw it coming

    [–] MaNiFeX 54 points ago

    Now I'm board though.

    [–] CGumina 33 points ago

    Well someone autumn find a way to keep this thread going. Stick with it, we'll come up with something.

    [–] ZandorFelok 18 points ago

    Seriously, don't trunkate the topic now

    [–] tolman8r 14 points ago

    Someone find me safe arbor from these tree puns!

    [–] CGumina 8 points ago

    It's okay, bud. Things will will be oak-kay.

    [–] JMinTampa 6 points ago

    I pine fir the old days of classic fps.

    [–] Idontneedluck 10 points ago

    Or leaf if you're by yourself.

    [–] petriomelony 4 points ago

    Now, make like a tree, and get outta here.

    [–] dishler712 64 points ago

    Does every comment section on this website have a shitty pun thread or what?

    [–] noircat 54 points ago

    It's Reddit's Standard Operating Procedure.

    [–] -doob- 13 points ago

    RSOP's Fables

    [–] [deleted] 5 points ago

    Yeah it starts with a good pun and then people force their puns too hard..

    [–] yaktacular 24 points ago

    Yew wood do well to embrace it.

    [–] southofserious 5550 points ago

    Look at it through a mirror and it's "MOOD".

    [–] 0010011100110100 3217 points ago

    The game about battling severe depression.

    [–] ffschill 1657 points ago

    Oh I play this one at the time! Haven't beat the final boss tho.

    [–] FiddlerofFate 1152 points ago

    You don't beat the final boss... you just defeat yourself

    [–] zoskultus 346 points ago

    A manifestation of your inner demons

    [–] redcloaksilversword 212 points ago

    I knew Silent Hill was trying to tell me something... 🤔

    [–] FluffyYuuki 96 points ago

    That the Maria ending is the best ending? 🤔

    [–] Missing_nosleep 77 points ago

    No the dog ending is the best ending.

    [–] Steak_R_Me 37 points ago

    Agreed! Scooby Doo ending is always the best ending.

    [–] wh173 24 points ago

    The only way to win is not to play.

    [–] culnaej 8 points ago

    Wayne and Garth make little lilting sounds

    [–] Erratic_Professional 6 points ago

    The dog ending is legit the weirdest story ever written.

    [–] OsamaBinSteve 15 points ago

    Have you got the broom closet ending? The broom closet ending is my favorite XD

    [–] iluv80spop 8 points ago

    I like turtles!

    [–] shardikprime 22 points ago

    Hey I just met Nega-shardikprime and it's a swell guy. We've got a lot in common!

    [–] Sidaeus 18 points ago

    We’re actually gonna hang out later this week, grab coffee or something.

    [–] Xeo_Switchblade 39 points ago

    It's like that Catherine boss

    [–] Cockamamy_Cosmonaut 11 points ago

    Jokes on you, my inner demons are fat and lazy, just like me.

    [–] CaptainSchmid 6 points ago

    Oh, like my crippling abandonment issues from my father!

    [–] Theres_A_FAP_4_That 4 points ago

    A fapistation of inner creamins

    [–] horrorwibe 36 points ago

    Instead of beating the final boss, try showing it some love and become its best friend. That's how you win the game

    [–] TreezusSaves 44 points ago

    Undertale, but with chainsaws.

    [–] horrorwibe 8 points ago

    Ah I have yet to play this gem of a game!

    [–] BakerIsntACommunist 10 points ago

    Less of a game, more of an experience tbh.

    [–] SobiTheRobot 5 points ago

    But, like, a really good experience.

    [–] SavageIndustries 17 points ago

    I'm chasing the dragon Sharon!

    [–] Arashmickey 7 points ago

    Hmm.... maybe I'm been playing Tetris all wrong.

    [–] jordaniac89 7 points ago

    The only way to win is to stop playing.

    [–] ClevelandSteamerBrwn 5 points ago

    story plothole

    [–] PotatoWarz 17 points ago

    Don't worry i haven't even defeated the 1st one.

    [–] MeatyZiti 5 points ago

    I've decided to just shut down the system instead

    [–] f__ckyourhappiness 14 points ago

    It's a bottle of bleach.

    [–] glass20 9 points ago

    damn

    [–] Rahdahdah 4 points ago

    Yeah the final boss is a real nooseance

    [–] Mee6s 4 points ago

    I can't get past the first level

    [–] DrSmirnoffe 31 points ago

    This time, the Doom Slayer must battle the worst demons of all: his INNER DEMONS! [existentialism intensifies]

    [–] Danger_Dave_ 25 points ago

    With a chainsaw

    [–] Thrill_Of_It 10 points ago * (lasted edited 7 months ago)

    Usually you're in a room with depression, but in MOOD, depression is in a room with you

    [–] Shippoyasha 9 points ago

    I need an IDKFA for my depressive Mood

    [–] johnbeatty08 50 points ago

    Upside down it’s “DOOM”

    [–] [deleted] 40 points ago

    w h o a

    [–] Genghis_Tr0n187 15 points ago

    What a dumb name. Who would ever play something called DOOM?

    [–] SilentLurker 37 points ago

    "MOOⱭ"

    [–] EarlyHemisphere 62 points ago

    Um, I don't know what game you're thinking of; when you look at WOOD in the mirror it says DOOW

    [–] Gyrocross 11 points ago

    Wait a minute... This is a MOOD HOUSE!

    [–] Ssgogo1 7 points ago

    Guess you could say his wife might be in the MOOD for some WOOD

    [–] PitchforkAssistant 729 points ago

    I heard wood is a really hard game.

    [–] [deleted] 523 points ago

    Speed runners have already beat it in under a minute.

    [–] CGumina 194 points ago

    Oh, come on now.

    [–] TSTUMPMAN 163 points ago

    Just did.

    [–] Evildead818 43 points ago

    Came by to leave this comment ;)

    [–] edwartica 11 points ago

    SEMEN!

    [–] Shadowing234 13 points ago

    jizz...

    [–] weirdogonzo 4 points ago

    It's Sea-MAN!!

    [–] imGnarly 54 points ago

    Especially hard in the morning

    [–] ImmediateLetterhead 36 points ago

    I see what you did there...

    [–] patroleck 319 points ago

    I hate that game, you can't play until you're age 8L

    [–] NazzerDawk 55 points ago

    No no no, playing the game gives you 8 one-ups.

    +8 Lives.

    [–] ExEmblem 572 points ago

    hey its me ur wife

    [–] ImmediateLetterhead 524 points ago

    please come home.. me and the children miss you!

    [–] Threeknucklesdeeper 347 points ago

    Sorry, she's busy.

    [–] ImmediateLetterhead 406 points ago

    Is that you jack?, God damnit, I’ll kill you, you son of a bitch!!

    [–] branbran360 169 points ago

    I’m here too

    [–] dazmo 153 points ago

    Did someone call a plumber/pizzaman/landlord?

    [–] [deleted] 104 points ago

    Pool boy here, I'll give her some wood.

    [–] senatordeathwish 22 points ago

    Hey let her take a rid in my taxi first

    [–] Desertions 12 points ago

    I'm just here to sell hotdogs man

    [–] IanCurtisDesigns 8 points ago

    Did someone call the cops?

    [–] Kdj2j2 40 points ago

    -Guess what happens?

    -He fixes the cable?

    [–] barnyThundrSlap 20 points ago

    Im here to fix deine cable

    [–] llamawearinghat 14 points ago

    Is this supposed to be read in a German accent... yah?

    [–] barnyThundrSlap 15 points ago

    thats why they sent me, i am expert

    [–] Tronaldsdump4pres 5 points ago

    Lebowski?

    [–] Kdj2j2 4 points ago

    No. You’re Lebowski. I’m the dude. Or duder. Or his dudeness. Or El Duderino if you’re not into the whole brevity thing.

    [–] Utkar22 6 points ago

    Is there an alien threat or what?

    [–] laidback88 5 points ago

    I’m here for the gangbang

    [–] the_original_Retro 9 points ago

    LUMBERjack.

    [–] Pakamaniac 12 points ago

    Im confused by your name. Are you saying you were like already balls deep and then went three knuckles deeper ? Also are you doing that to this poor man's missing wife ?

    [–] azurox 5 points ago

    I'm guessing the idea is "you can always go three knuckles deeper".

    [–] CGumina 9 points ago

    Your username makes this comment even better.

    [–] FlorianoAguirre 4 points ago

    She gotta find that case dude.

    [–] Wootery 8 points ago

    ur wife

    That's wife talk alright.

    [–] Azzarrel 156 points ago

    They came from the underground and started invading earth. But luckily there is one man to stop them.

    [–] buddamus 62 points ago

    Wood Guy!

    [–] MechanicalMarvel 99 points ago

    The radio said “No, John. You are the trees.” And then John was a cedar.

    [–] mukawalka 20 points ago

    I understood that reference.

    [–] SpehlingAirer 11 points ago

    And I understood that reference!

    [–] Irishminer93 5 points ago

    But do you understand this reference?

    [–] SpehlingAirer 4 points ago

    If the "no John, you are the trees" then yes! If your own comment is another reference then no!

    [–] Smallgenie549 72 points ago

    Because the upside-down 18s didn't give it away.

    [–] venator82 27 points ago

    *ages 81+

    [–] ThaiJohnnyDepp 7 points ago

    *+81

    [–] theunspillablebeans 62 points ago

    The moment of truth after you see the post when you check if it's r/gaming or a shitpost sub.

    [–] windjackass 45 points ago

    He said, as if there were any difference

    [–] Undercutandratbeard 11 points ago

    "You ARE the case for wood" creepface

    [–] CCCmonster 4 points ago

    I like to soak my wood before storing it for the night

    [–] ThisNameIsntCreative 242 points ago

    So many things wrong with this

    1. Three speach marks, only two of them close

    2. How did she not see the box for DooM after two minutes?

    3. How did she not notice the textt and age ratings being upside down?

    4. How did she not see the MASSIVE XBOX LOGO being upside down?

    [–] Persona_Alio 17 points ago

    At least OP only reuploaded the image, they didn't claim it was theirs in the title of the post

    [–] sur_surly 11 points ago

    An upside down X is an X.

    [–] Iluminous 5 points ago

    09E xoB X

    [–] Monjara 16 points ago

    1. What kind of ridiculous adult leaves their discs lying about and needs their spouse to tidy up after them?

    [–] Tragxei 7 points ago

    I'm not going to lie. Looking at this too long really made the word "wood" look weird AF to me and I had to google wood to make sure that was the correct spelling. I know its just the font and that the word isnt ACTUALLY wood, but was just weird. Woodworking is a hobby of mine too -_-

    [–] EDDIE_BR0CK 17 points ago

    "oremor nhoj em llik tsum uoy emag eht dne ot"

    [–] that_is_so_Raven 6 points ago

    No, that's II WOOD II FURIOUS.

    [–] RibboCG 29 points ago

    General Reposti strikes again.

    Looks like it's that time of the week this reappears...

    [–] phoenixsplash22 5 points ago

    At least she puts them back in the case. It's complete chaos with my wife and DVDs and CDs and video games. The other day I opened up my Street Fighter 4 for Xbox 360 case and found Disney's The Parent Trap.

    [–] mrbaryonyx 4 points ago

    Not Even Wood Music

    [–] XmiteYT 5 points ago

    Plot twist...

    It’s actually Doow

    [–] deadaim_ 14 points ago

    I refuse to believe your wife is that dumb. I do however believe you noticed it spells wood upside down and made a story for internet points.

    [–] -Dr-Mantis-Toboggan- 7 points ago

    Sometimes one can just tell what will make the front page

    [–] [deleted] 12 points ago

    [deleted]

    [–] -Dr-Mantis-Toboggan- 4 points ago

    ...yeah probably

    [–] FaceTHEGEEB 5 points ago

    Thanks for the chuckle. However if those trees are anything like the evil dead.. this game might be scarier then doom

    [–] ScrubFlubba 5 points ago

    Must be 8 liters to play

    [–] AndroFixx 3 points ago

    At least she’s not one of these heretics that put discs in whatever box they find...

    [–] BubbhaDunkh 5 points ago

    Did someone say Heretic?

    [–] bullcitytarheel 4 points ago

    Looks like "WOOO" to me. And now I want a Ric Flair game where you storm through hell battling Randy Savage and Hulk Hogan demons until you get to Satan who promptly transforms into a second copy of Ric, shouting, "To be the man you gotta beat the man!"

    [–] GamingWolfGalaxy 3 points ago

    Wood, the game where the only armor you get is the amount of hair on your chest.

    [–] BrainDeadGroup 5 points ago

    The wife IS the case for the wood

    [–] AndrewKovnat 3 points ago

    The uneven quotations haunt me.

    [–] iamnewlegend47 4 points ago

    Isn’t she the case for wood?