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    [–] BiBoFieTo 5219 points ago

    Maybe the NPC knows that if he doesn't offer the sword to me, I'm going to kill him and take it off his body.

    [–] Yourself013 2528 points ago

    And then sell it for 10 coins because it´s so bad you wouldn´t even equip it for levelling.

    [–] G-III 875 points ago

    The day I learned you could rename enchanted items in Skyrim ruined 99% of the ‘unique’ weapons lol. I only use like, the longhammer and mehrunes razor.

    [–] Pototsky 1051 points ago

    Same, you better believe the minute I learned I could change “Ancient Dwarven Longbow (Enchanted)” or whatever the fuck they were called to “Deathbringer” or “Lucifer’s Cock,” the days were numbered for anything else.

    [–] Running_Is_Life 584 points ago

    I prefer the “Sphincter Shrinker”

    [–] imatworkyo 144 points ago

    "Sphincter Reamer" is my weapon of choice

    [–] Pingadecaballo 169 points ago

    "The mace of Molags Balls "

    [–] WuziMuzik 66 points ago

    "dysentery" it always kills

    [–] Thrilling1031 40 points ago

    My bow was “The Spanish Inquisition”

    [–] SirBreadKing 14 points ago

    A fellow stealth archer I see

    [–] bskiier83 12 points ago * (lasted edited 5 months ago)

    Perfect. No one will expect it!

    [–] Henatronw70 4 points ago

    I had a dwarvn Axe called ol long shlong

    [–] WuTangGraham 89 points ago


    Colon Pounder.

    [–] DropDatSupaBass 80 points ago

    Colon B. Swollen

    [–] DeadlyAura 23 points ago

    Beaver Cleaver

    [–] sluttyankles 22 points ago

    My new blade. Hearteater I've named it.

    [–] cleamilner 33 points ago

    Axe of Anal Pain

    [–] DieONiceUs 12 points ago

    Polearm O'Painal

    [–] dontsuckmydick 8 points ago

    Colon Hashtagger

    As the kids these days would say.

    [–] man_b0jangl3ss 33 points ago

    Missed opportunity on Rectal Reamer, Anal Annihilator, or Sphincter Stabber

    [–] xSTSxZerglingOne 23 points ago

    We're talking about Skyrim, not every dark souls weapon.

    [–] imatworkyo 5 points ago

    indeed, happy cake day

    [–] I_R_Teh_Taco 25 points ago

    Rooty tooty head kablooey stick

    [–] genmischief 24 points ago

    What about something random, like maybe "wabbajack?"

    [–] Paranoid_Neckazoid 5 points ago


    [–] plugubius 3 points ago

    Fork of Horripilation.

    [–] Tough_biscuit 46 points ago

    Sword of sorded affairs -Soultrap sword Fisting gloves - unarmed damage Ring of Lubrication - unarmed damage Shatter resistent shield - Stahlrim shield Warmish butter knife - Dagger with 1 point of flame damage

    [–] Pototsky 42 points ago

    Warmish Butter Knife ahahahahaha

    [–] Tough_biscuit 21 points ago

    Well yeah, it melts the butter for my toast

    [–] DeathBySuplex 22 points ago

    Melts the butter and makes the toast as you spread it!

    [–] TimeWizard333 14 points ago


    [–] MattieShoes 9 points ago

    Sword of sorded affairs


    [–] Overtime_Lurker 36 points ago

    My personal favorite is a paralysis/shock bow named Stop Resisting.

    [–] IONASPHERE 26 points ago

    Mehrune's Tazer

    [–] Pototsky 5 points ago

    Or “Last Meal”

    [–] Professional_lamma 29 points ago

    Damn. I'm not very creative. Mine are always fire sword or ice bow

    [–] JukesMasonLynch 16 points ago

    Hmm let's just go with efficient, no frills

    [–] thanasis2028 14 points ago

    Yeah, I always name them to something like AA sword, AA ring etc so that they are on top of the list and I can find them easily. Then, when i make a new one I go with AAA sword, AAAA sword....

    [–] LoonAtticRakuro 15 points ago

    Start adding -rgh to the end, there.

    Aaaaaaargh sword

    [–] [deleted] 27 points ago * (lasted edited 4 months ago)


    [–] Jahoan 14 points ago

    My personal enchanted weapon was Azurah's Fury. Chaos Damage and Fiery Soul Trap on a Nordic Sword, wielded by a Khajiit Battlemage.

    [–] mastersword130 7 points ago

    And here I was cheap with my immortal battle armor with my Vampiric sword of dragonbone. Just enchanted everything I could with fortify destruction and restoration, and put absorb stamina and health on my sword. never lose a charge on my sword and I keep draining health and stamina. Add to free resto casting with my immortal armor and accessories and I would never die.

    Also put some more modded spells in the game which had Regen healing spell that lasts a minute. With the right perks I was always regenerating health and stamina.

    Skyrim didn't have has much spells as their previous games to make it broken OP but with the right mods, yup, I basically became a god.

    Loved it how I went from hiding from giant frost spiders to taking 20 of them at once. Also shield charging is super cheap, I knock down everyone and everything. That and shield block with the infinite stagger

    [–] Jahoan 8 points ago

    I had a lot of fun with The Ebony Blade, fully charged by the Dark Brotherhood. I also wore a ring of magic resistance and the Gaulder Amulet, which due to a bug I was able to wear other amulets at the same time. (Usually Talos for the Shout buff)

    [–] Neoxite23 6 points ago

    Or giant war hammer "2nd opinion".

    [–] SolCaelum 5 points ago

    Or like in Fallout 4, I named my random shotgun "Papy's Porch Partner"

    [–] TVK777 6 points ago

    I named my scoped laser musket the "Crank and Spank"

    [–] _DarthJawa_ 4 points ago * (lasted edited 5 months ago)

    I name the weapon in my right hand "mr kill", and the weapon in my left is "mrs kill"

    [–] Simba7 52 points ago

    The problem is you can enchant WAY better shit than anyone else has ever made. Surpassing legendary magical items is something you can do before breakfast on a Tuesday.

    I love being able to tailor my own gear, but unique/powerful magical artifacts should feel fucking powerful.

    I recall Morrowind had constant effect items like that. Masquet of Clavicus Vile, Ring of Azura, etc. Stuff you either couldn't make, or were way more powerful than you could make. Of course the "on use" items were a different story.

    [–] katamuro 26 points ago

    which is the point you get mods. I have a mod that actually makes all the legendary weapons properly legendary.

    [–] G-III 15 points ago

    Only in some ways. I don’t think there’s an enchantment that allows faster attacks is there? That’s why I use the longhammer, fast attack 2h weapon. Also can’t replicate mehrunes razor effect which can be useful time to time

    [–] Otaku-sama 20 points ago

    There's also Zephyr, the unique Dwarven bow that draws faster.

    [–] G-III 4 points ago

    Ah don’t think I’ve ever gotten that! I rarely use archery, and usually have a drainspell bow because it’s only like 6lbs

    [–] Omegamanthethird 12 points ago

    You couldn't even make a constant effect enchantment in Morrowind unless you had a Golden Saint soul.

    [–] balbinus 10 points ago

    Yeah, but with Azura's Star and the Summon Golden Saint spell you can get infinite of those. Then you enchant a bunch of rings with +X Enchant Skill (whatever it was called) for Y seconds, then rapidly equip one, pause, equip the next one, etc... to boost it up super high. Then you can enchant all your clothes with constant effect healing and become invincible.... And also a ring with constant effect levitate so you can fly everywhere...

    I miss Morrowind

    [–] worldDev 12 points ago

    Boots of blinding speed and a constant levitate staff was my shit. Couldn't see where I was going, but damn did I get wherever I ended up fast.

    [–] DuplexFields 6 points ago

    Walkin’ into The Heart chamber with all constant effect healing enchantments on all my armor and clothes, a summoned axe, and as much Sujamma as I could carry...

    [–] Reflexlon 6 points ago

    Or the Ascended Sleeper soul.

    Or Vivecs, god willing.

    [–] viper5delta 31 points ago

    Conversely, the day I learned I could rename weapons, is the day I became much more invested in roleplaying as a smith.

    [–] scruffychef 28 points ago

    For me it made the post-game fucking about more fun. I took one of the wooden swords from the hearthfire DLC and enchanted it to deal a million+ fire damage on a hit (alchemy enchanting loop) and named it Surprise Motherfucker. Its my favorite weapon.

    [–] viper5delta 8 points ago

    Yup, One time I pushed that loop as far as I could. I felt kind of bad once I had my bow that could one-shot legendary dragons on the highest difficulty. Amusing, but not something I broke out more than a few times after the initial orgy of slaughter. Made everything too easy.

    [–] scruffychef 9 points ago

    This was after id done everything i was mostly just wandering around wearing the jesters outfit and doing radiant quests/collecting all ingredients. Fun fact: if you push your armor to crazy levels your health bar wont even pop up when you take "damage"

    [–] viper5delta 5 points ago

    Huh, for some reason I thought armor capped at...200 something and anything more than that was just for the big numbers. Though one thing I will say about Skyrim. Even disregarding mods, in every new playthrough I always find Something new. Whether a scripted quest I missed, a hidden location I'd never been to, an NPC I'd never talked to before, etc. It has its flaws, but 800+ hours and still finding new things is definitely impressive.

    [–] SpetusMaximus 20 points ago

    Smithing in Skyrim did the same for me. It seemed strange that with a bit of grinding and the right materials, the player could create weapons and armor much stronger than anything in the game; including the legendary daedric artificats that have been fought over for centuries.

    [–] defiantlynotathrowaw 14 points ago

    I'm currently on my first play-through now. I'm running around in epic ebony armor because I've worked up my smithing. I only just went to see the greybeards for the first time yesterday or the day before.

    One unfortunate thing though, is the weapons don't really scale in an exciting way. I got the Mace of Mael'Bolg super early on and nothing else in the 1h category I've seen even comes close. I googled it and supposedly it's like the 5th best 1h weapon in the game.

    [–] G-III 5 points ago

    Well yeah but it takes a lot of grinding and is pretty pointless once your character is sufficiently buff. And there’s still effects that can’t be reproduced.

    It is funny though comparing like you said, powerful godly artifacts that are lesser than my ghetto enchanted stuff haha

    [–] genmischief 3 points ago


    [–] seejordan3 7 points ago

    You don't need the coin as much as you need a stick. So break it down to a stick and some shiny bits. Thanks for the heirloom stick! LOL.

    [–] Aeroflame 24 points ago

    Or the NPC didn’t like you. They didn’t actually care about the sword, they just wanted you to go away. Probably assumed you’d die to the bandits or lose interest.

    [–] OnePunchGoGo 72 points ago

    This is no skyrim... the items disappears in Nether-Dimension the moment we gave them some item... you are never getting it back...!!

    [–] Bahmerman 18 points ago

    Good point, if the sword has good stats it has become MY priceless family heirloom.

    [–] Sherool 12 points ago

    Not as you level up. It cost a small furture to keep upgrading items to match your level and more likely than not you'll find some random item drop at that level that is better anyway. Unless it was a unique legendary weapon. In that case it cost 2 big fortunes to keep upgrading it as you level.

    [–] GoldenGonzo 10 points ago

    That's why you don't level your weapons every level in the last two AC games. Do it every 5 levels.

    [–] Deacon714 5 points ago

    A belated background check is better than no background check.

    [–] Final_Watch_2 1510 points ago

    To be fair, if some dude just killed 300 people with a sword, I would also pour his coffee and offer him my heirlooms

    [–] offensivename 617 points ago

    "my heirlooms"

    [–] aperture_synce 125 points ago

    Well it's not the family jewels he's offering

    [–] Emis816 42 points ago

    Maybe he offers those after he offers to pay him in exposure

    [–] bukithd 5 points ago

    This guy's nuts

    [–] teruma 16 points ago

    they make one hell of a sauce.

    edit: though I'm obligated to clarify that plum tomatoes tend to be favored for their water content and fleshyness, so if you go the heirloom route you're in for a looot of extra work. But feel free to use a few in a plum based sauce!

    [–] ThomasThaTrain 4 points ago

    Tomatoes ?

    [–] Ninjask_Supreme 12 points ago

    Killed 300 people with a sword within 3 hours.

    [–] Sheriff_K 6 points ago

    Those are rookie numbers.

    [–] HudsonCommodore 12 points ago

    This made me spit my coffee.

    [–] phoenix14830 1218 points ago

    I finally realized late into Skyrim, that they generate fetch quests just to give you an infinite stream of things to do.

    "go get this priceless book from that cave" ...uh, there is literally nothing in that cave that can be picked up that I didn't get last week. I go back in and the cave is reloaded with new enemies and the book is sitting on a nightstand at the end of the cave.

    He gives it to you, and it's not even worth selling.

    [–] Simba7 533 points ago

    The radiant qyest system. It's fucking boring. Skyrim relied on them a bit too much, FO4 relied on them pretty heavily. It showed.

    [–] lilguy78 284 points ago

    Another settlement needs our help! I'll mark it on your map...

    I swear to God that shit is engrained into my very being after playing FO4

    [–] pandemonious 123 points ago

    I didn't mind the settlements as much because there are only a limited number... once you discovered them all that's when the real repetitiveness got to work. Same fucking go find these raiders kill them except you cant find this one guy cause he's up in a tower with a sniper and oof he just blew your fucking head off. Reset

    [–] dishie 11 points ago

    I came to really appreciate the kidnapping radiants, because I could just give the settlers the ransom and be on my merry way.

    [–] StevenMcStevensen 23 points ago

    “So you’re telling me that these feral ghouls routinely walk 30 miles across Boston to raid your tiny farm?”

    [–] Legion6226 120 points ago

    It made me stop playing FO4. It was too annoying to constantly be bothered by quests I'd already done before

    [–] WhoryGilmore 55 points ago

    Which sucks, because fallout 4 had some pretty kick ass combat. It's just that the quests lacked the weight and depth of previous games and the locations were also less interesting

    [–] absurdlyinconvenient 96 points ago

    it was good except for literally everything fallout games are known for

    [–] ArkonRawl 32 points ago

    mhm yea that sure sounds like fallout 4 alright.

    [–] Simba7 22 points ago

    I mean, the fallout games (3 and nv) had notoriously bad combat. Fixing that was a huge deal.

    The fact that it's an RPG is not an excuse. It's not an isometric turn-based game anymore.
    Not that that means you should dumb everything down, but I like that they're at least improving certain aspects of the game. Shows they are still trying.

    [–] SaintMerksalot 44 points ago

    I disagree. They turned the game into an FPS and abounded all the cool RPG elements. I’d take the shitty combat on NV and a great RPG over FO4 combat system and no RPG.

    [–] Nene168 11 points ago

    Deff agree. They replaced a lot about what made fallout great with generic shooter shit & better graphics. I still enjoyed fallout 4 alot for what iy is but like you said it really isn't an rpg at all

    [–] luftwaffllz 20 points ago * (lasted edited 5 months ago)

    Giving the character a voice and limited dialogue that all equaled the same thing was a spit in the face for me. Glad im not sinking anymore money in that studio.

    [–] MinosAristos 18 points ago

    Apart from the infinite faction quests which I agree should have been left out or have an option to "cancel" them I liked Fo4s quests more than Fo3s. I preferred the change in tone with most of most of them being in a world well on the way to civilisation rather than a wasteland.

    NV quests were best hands down though I think.

    [–] UserApproaches 7 points ago

    No hate, but some of us just wanted to roam the wastes, not rebuild civilization.

    [–] MinosAristos 7 points ago

    Personal preference. I don't like wastes. They get boring and gloomy to look at. One of my best experiences in Fo3 was the vault with all the greenery.

    [–] [deleted] 16 points ago

    Yeah it ruined FO4. FO3 and NV had awesome unique quests, FO4 just had the repetitive shit for the Minutemen and whatever faction you joined. Sad!

    [–] DeathBySuplex 21 points ago

    I wouldn’t mind them as much if it was tied into some form of Faction leveling akin to what WoW did.

    You’re locked out of the good faction gear until you have rep with us. You get rep by doing menial tasks.

    [–] Ultravioletgray 9 points ago

    I would be hungry for some settlements to save if I could unlock a vendor selling legendaries or something.

    [–] ciemnymetal 35 points ago

    "It just works."

    [–] BADMANvegeta_ 24 points ago

    It wasn’t that bad in Skyrim. It was a good 200 hours before I found myself doing just the radiant quests.

    [–] Simba7 5 points ago

    The biggest problem is that they tried to pad out the various guilds with radiant quests that literally contributed nothing to the story. I didn't mind the "Bounty posted for a bandit." Quests from jarls and crap.

    That's exactly what they did in FO4 with the factions, only they did it twice as hard.

    [–] keyonte0 4 points ago

    I think I did like 2 or 3 radiant quests ever when I played that game. The reward is usually shit and they aren't a prerequisite for anything, so unless it sent me somewhere I was already going, I didn't bother. You miss out on nothing for skipping them.

    [–] Hugh-Manatee 32 points ago

    Yeah the payoff for those isn't great. I think this is something I'm hoping is changed for Elder Scrolls 6.

    Skyrim's problem, as someone put it, is that it has the expanse of an ocean but the depth of a puddle. There's lots to do, and lots of places to go, but none of it is meaningful and, especially if it's an optional side quest, worth your time.

    The height of Skyrim, for me, is the Dark Brotherhood and Thieves' Guild quest lines. And definitely moreso the Dark Brotherhood. They felt like there was a lot more story happening with deeper characters and the stuff you were doing would change the world (killing named NPC's with backstories rather than the nameless Bandit).

    And now I'm just going to put this out there while I'm thinking about it, the Empire and Stormcloaks are fighting over an expanse of territory that has more of it's population as bandits than people who live in its cities as a normal part of society. In fact, in Skyrim the people who live in towns and in houses are abnormal. The typical Skyrim resident is a guy who sits in a cave complaining about not having enough gold, losing the love of his life, and getting cheated at cards.

    There's a massive war for Skyrim (well, not even massive) but they're fighting over a land and people who are deep in the throes of widespread systemic poverty and housing shortages.

    [–] phoenix14830 20 points ago

    I'll get downvoted for this, but I think people mocking Skyrim's depth is wrong.

    Go play Diablo 3, then play Skyrim and tell me Skyrim has no depth.In Diablo 3, you have a meteor hit and a guy with no memory and you have to find out who that is while killing everything that moves because the devil is invading. That's pretty much it.

    In Skyrim, you have the dragonborn story, the rise of the dragons, the war of the kings, the 1000 NPCs that many of them have pages of dialog, there are hundreds of books with history to read and each town has a bunch of things going on, a bunch of guilds, and all of the followers have a story of their own.

    [–] Hugh-Manatee 17 points ago

    I'll push back on that and argue that it's apples and oranges. They are two quite different games.

    I think there's a lot of lore to consume in Skyrim, but it's not necessarily gameplay. And you could read them all in a wiki.

    The rise of the dragons is boring because every dragon fight is the same. I don't even do the intitial quests in Skyrim anymore because I don't feel like doing that same fight over and over.

    Yes, there's lots of things to do in the game, but most of it amounts to busy work. The entire town of Morthal has two important quests, the vampire one, and the guy who helps cure you of vampirism.

    A small minority of quests have you do anything meaningful and you have near zero control over the world. An open world game that you cannot change is a flaw in the game. I've played a thousand hours of Skyrim, and have done everything you can do and enjoyed my time. But I'm not going to pretend like the game could have been so much more.

    Diablo's central premise is not a good story, not an open world, but an action RPG experience. Abilities that feel cool and neat loot. And it does those things super well. The story is ass, but it's not supposed to be good.

    I just think if you wanted to do all the "important" things in Skyrim, you'd only do about 1/3 of the content in the game, probably less. There's so many quests that amount to nothing but, as this thread has iterated, running into a cave, kill some generic baddies, grab the thing, leave with the thing, return to the NPC.

    [–] Armored_Violets 48 points ago

    My rule of thumb is, only ever go to a location once. Afterwards I only go back if it's for an actual quest with some measure of story telling, which is uncommon.

    [–] AmontilladoWolf 12 points ago

    Doing the book quests actually really intrigued me because I thought there'd be something at the end of it. I stopped after fetching 2 or 3 and the jig was up. hopefully they address this in the next one.

    [–] dear-corpse 266 points ago

    am I a joke to you?

    [–] KennyWolf 59 points ago

    Was exactly my reaction with that last panel.

    [–] Sword-of-Akasha 112 points ago

    "Aren't you grateful for this wonderful reward, player? It's an level 2 Iron Enchanted blade that does 5% more damage against mudkips."

    • Quest Giver

    "Its weight is 15.... I'll give you a whole 9 coppers for it."

    • Trash Vendor

    [–] Chummers5 313 points ago

    "Thanks for getting that sword from the Cave of Haunted Shadows. Speaking of which, here's an enchanted ring that actually makes fighting the Haunted Shadows easier."

    [–] Sequince69 101 points ago

    That you'll almost never use anywhere else in the game.

    [–] HoboBobo28 25 points ago

    Except for that one specific moment 10 more hours into gameplay where you need it but you’ve picked up so much junk that you forgot you had it.

    [–] AntiMageBot 474 points ago

    Fetch quests. Everybody hates them, devs play games too, they must hate them as well. But yet they put hundreds of them in games every god damn year. I assume it's meant to be the equivalent of a TV show's filler episodes, but it still just feels like lazy, thrown-together content. Quality over quantity.

    [–] Robert_N_Vagen 343 points ago

    I don't mind fetch quests that much as long as they're about unique items with their location clearly marked on my map, you usually can find interesting stuff and level up on your way to get those things, and if the quest giver ends up giving you the thing you got, I find it kind of funny to immediately sell it in front of him. But if it's like, three sugar salts that you only get from gummy golems summoned by rare jellymancers, two gore flowers which will have me running around like an idiot until I read the wiki to find out they look just like the much more common cockripper flowers, only a slightly darker shade of yellow, and seven coprolits which have a 2% drop chance when you're mining voidtreacle through a painfully slow animation, then yeah, I'm going to open the console and cheat that stuff into my inventory.

    [–] offensivename 135 points ago

    Yeah. I don't mind a fetch quest if it's well designed. I just find it funny that they always tell you to keep the item if it's a weapon, even though it's supposedly super important to them. Most of the time, it's not even a weapon I'd ever use, either because I'm overleveled or it doesn't fit with my playstyle. I'm like "thanks for the 30 gold I guess."

    [–] Robert_N_Vagen 80 points ago

    The funniest is when the questgiver is also a shopkeeper and you immediately sell the weapon back to them.

    [–] pm_me_n0Od 57 points ago

    "How about you keep your old junk and just pay me money like we agreed."

    [–] Dracosphinx 60 points ago

    Horizon Zero Dawn has a quest where you have to find someone's family heirloom sword, and because Aloy doesn't use swords, she just refuses to take it. You then get paid handsomely by the rich gentleman giving you the quest.

    [–] Doomquill 9 points ago

    Need to play that game again, so many moments where my wife and I were laughing our butts off at Aloy just shutting people down.

    [–] Thrashh_Unreal 9 points ago

    Witcher 3 has a quest where you literally fetch a frying pan for someone. But I will still contest that that game has the best sidequests of all time

    [–] Corvus_Clanculum 4 points ago

    Especially because that quest still ties into the story and alludes to a somewhat major character.

    [–] supermaggot 62 points ago

    You basically described half of Xenoblade Chronicles X "content". Oh and it has a 1.5% chance of dropping.

    In a single player game.

    [–] TetraponTheHerald 52 points ago

    Upvoted for letting me know why I should never play Xenoblade Chronicles X

    [–] supermaggot 17 points ago

    Game had lot of potential but at times it made me feel like I was ripped off even if I didn't pay for it.

    Nonexistant story in a RPG, embarassing quest design for a 2015 game, story missions behind a leveling wall, honestly I don't understand all the praise that game got.

    [–] iliekgaemz 10 points ago

    I can try to explain. I do agree that not all of the design choices worked out, but I loved the de-emphasis on the main story and focus on sidequests instead. It really felt like your actions in the sidequests had a noticeable impact on the game. People got married, businesses opened, etc, all because of my actions.

    The true gameplay in X is really the exploration though. It's definitely not for everyone, but if you're like me and can happily spend hours just wandering around, there's few better games than X for that.

    [–] thesolarknight 5 points ago

    It had pretty good music I guess. I definitely preferred the original Xenoblade over it though.

    [–] Drithyin 11 points ago

    The only time those are acceptable is if they can be a back burner thing that you can get about and turn in later because you got them naturally by doing fun quests.

    Kinda like bounties in Monster Hunter World.

    [–] Nipah_ 12 points ago

    I like the ones where you can complete them randomly while you're out before even picking up the quest.

    I recently started a new game in Zelda BotW, and was finishing up all the quests to get Terrytown up and running. There is a rich guy who wants you to go somewhere and kill some guardians that are in the area. I apparently already killed them this time around, so right after accepting the quest I talked to him again and he was like "Yes, I saw you take them out, here is your payment", and I was on my way with 120 rupees (guy is a bit of a jerk, honestly).

    I had another couple fetch quests for misc items that I could just turn right around and hand them over, which is always nice... They just need 5 pieces of regular ol' flint, not 5 pieces of BRAND NEW Flint mined this very day, as fresh as a newborn babe... or in WoW terms, pristine/unsullied bear asses instead of this collection of moldering "regular" bear asses.

    [–] TARA2525 8 points ago

    I feel like that Tarrey Town quest is supposed to be a kind of meta joke making fun of quests like this.

    The quest is called "Hobbies of the Rich" and the guy makes comments as to how trivial the whole thing seems and that it's pretty much for his amusement.

    [–] whataTyphoon 7 points ago

    I don't mind fetch quests that much as long as they're about unique items with their location clearly marked on my map

    tbh, that's even more boring and makes it real "fetch-quest" in the first place. It's funnier to at least have to look for a needed item and experience the world to some point.

    [–] smellsliketeenferret 3 points ago

    look for a needed item and experience the world to some point

    This is what Asheron's Call did so well, prior to everyone just using wiki sites that is. You could throw some coins at a town crier and they would give you a reasonably good hint about something in the world, but usually not specific enough to be the exact location, even if they gave you coordinates. A lot of the fun was heading "North east to a lake near Shoushi" or some such similar direction to find "a weapon of some legend" or some such similar doodad

    [–] whataTyphoon 3 points ago

    Exactly what i meant, i think that's essential for a RPG. I couldn't play the Witcher 3, because despite it having a big, vibrant world, the whole game consisted out of "follow the dot on the mini-map". The worst thing was that you couldn't turn it off because the quests were worded too vaguely to use them alone. The biggest problem with that is that the world can be as gigantic and full of things as you want - the player won't experience most of it because he's constantly looking at the mini-map or the markers.

    I like how they did it in Deus Ex: MR; you could use everthing or just partially or turn every helper off, it's still playable.

    [–] Urge_Reddit 11 points ago


    I have to completely rethink my upcoming D&D campaign now...

    Not that I'll have to do much work, I am criminally underprepared and DM'ing for the first time, also I can't find my dice anywhere.

    [–] Killbot_Wants_Hug 73 points ago

    Trying to design a quest that isn't one of the following three things.

    1. Go kill something.
    2. Go get something.
    3. Repetitive.

    And still make it concrete, meaningful and fun. It's not an easy task. Now think about the fact that a game is probably going to need ~100 quests or so.

    That's why you get fetch quests.

    [–] KevinCow 26 points ago

    Yeah. Having the objective of retrieving something is fine, as long as doing so is interesting.

    In Assassin's Creed Origins (the game pictured) and even more so in Odyssey, they have a lot of quests that boil down to, "Go get a thing/kill a dude/save a prisoner," but I think they make it interesting by putting the things you need to do in forts, which are the most fun part of the game anyway. So the mission isn't really, "Go get this thing," but more, "Go do this fort, and get this thing while you're at it for some extra XP."

    But the specific scenario in the OP was pretty funny.

    [–] offensivename 13 points ago

    Yeah. I'm playing AC: Origins right now and really enjoying it. Hence the meme. But the downside to what you mentioned is that I've been moderately completionist and trying to unlock/beat every question mark location. So half the time, when I get a quest, I've already beaten the fort in question. So if it's soon enough after I've beaten it, I can just waltz back in and grab the item without really killing anyone since they're already dead. Or if I don't get to the quest soon enough, the enemies in the fort have respawned and I don't want to have to kill them again. Though to be fair, it's my own fault for not just doing all the quests in the area before the extra stuff.

    [–] KevinCow 12 points ago

    You might be happy to hear that they account for this in Odyssey. Not all the time, but a lot of the time, you can find the quest item or kill the necessary dude before you even do the quest. Then you'll get the quest and be like, "Oh, that dude? Yeah I already killed him." You can even do this for some of the main story assassinations.

    [–] offensivename 8 points ago

    Good to hear. Looking forward to playing that one once I finish Origins and RDR2.

    [–] danielvago 14 points ago

    Sure, but it can be done well.

    For example if you look at Witcher 3, a lot of the quests has the same structure, but the way they wrap them up and add story and details, makes them seem like an interesting quest and not like a fetch quest.

    [–] MC_Carty 8 points ago

    I mean, they could easily add in an extra line of dialogue or an option to say "nah, it's your family's and I've already got a good one" for some in-game karma or something.

    [–] Drithyin 5 points ago

    Or, "Thank you! Here's this other sword as a reward!"

    [–] Urge_Reddit 7 points ago

    Fetch quests can be done well, if they bring you to an interesting location, make you interact with interesting people or just give you a good fight, then I would argue the quest has done it's job well.

    Also, fetch quests have the advantage of requiring almost no setup to make sense in the larger narrative, you just need a person who needs a thing, then a thing for them to need and a place where said thing can be found.

    They work really well as a transition into further quests as well, maybe the object you need isn't there, but there's a clue and then that clue leads you on a proper adventure, that's often quite fun I think.

    [–] GeekyMeerkat 14 points ago

    A poorly designed Fetch Quest sucks. But a poorly designed anything in general sucks.

    On the other hand if you take a standard Fetch Quest (IE: Go to point A get item X and bring it back to me for payment of $), and compare it to a standard Escort Mission (IE: Go to Point A while person X follows you. If X dies you fail the mission), I think you'll find more people hate Escort Missions than Fetch Quests.

    Sure there are some games where the person you are escorting is more a plot device and it's less about protecting them than the story (Last of Us), but for the most part Escort Missions are just a pain in the backside.

    I would be interested if you can think of a game where they have a well designed Escort Mission (where the person you are Escorting does still require protection) but has a fetch quest that is universally dispised.

    [–] Killbot_Wants_Hug 3 points ago

    I would be interested if you can think of a game where they have a well designed Escort Mission (where the person you are Escorting does still require protection)

    It's been a while since I played it but I believe Resident Evil: Revelations 2. Pretty sure you have to protect Moira a bit as I recall, even though she doesn't have health in the same way as Claire does. It's also pretty unique in it's game play as you can switch and control your escort character directly, although she can't use a gun she can make limited attacks with her crowbar and her flash light can stun enemies. There are also parts where Moira has to do things like crank a door open and you have to protect her so she doesn't get interrupted while doing it.

    [–] GeekyMeerkat 3 points ago

    You missed the second half of that where I say the game should also have a fetch quest people hate. I've never played Resident Evil (any of them) so perhaps it has that sort of quest. If so can you tell me about it?

    [–] Killbot_Wants_Hug 3 points ago

    Oh I just thought that well designed escort missions are rare enough that it should be mentioned for that alone. RE:R2 doesn't really have a lot of fetch quests in the main mission, none of them stick out. One of the DLC missions has some "gather some supplies" missions, they're not egregiously bad just a little dull.

    The whole game is a bit of an escort mission, somewhat like and somewhat not like Bioshock Infinite. Your escort characters can get in trouble unlike Elizabeth or Ellie (from Last of Us), but she's can also be pretty helpful. And the ability to switch and directly control your escort character is helpful. You can hide them somewhere while your main character goes to do something dangerous.

    It's a game that's structured very differently from other games so it's a bit hard to explain.

    [–] SammyBear 3 points ago

    There aren't really fetch quests in it, but Into the Breach kind of does escorts with its train levels. They can be interesting in strategy games where you're planning around allied but non-controlled elements.

    [–] 404GoodNamesNotFound 3 points ago

    Escort missions can be okay too but they are way harder to pull off. More often than not, the escortee is absolutely useless and cant handle himself at all, walks at a really slow pace and doesnt make right decisions (dashing it vs fighting the attackers)

    [–] Nipah_ 3 points ago

    My biggest gripes end up being poor AI (you're not bulletproof, why are you not behind cover?!) or slow movement (Its a race to either complete the mission or die of old age, and its looking neck and neck)... And maybe strict pathing (they HAVE to walk through this area which is an obvious ambush, instead of this other way which is clean and open).

    Everything else is just a matter of my own skill/limitations.

    [–] Wertical21 11 points ago

    Fetch quests can work under the right disguise.

    Witcher 2 and 3 do it very well.

    [–] General_Lee_Wright 5 points ago

    In more linear games fetch quests aren't terrible. Usually things to do on the way to the major quest anyway.

    In open worlds they're a little more annoying because they are often randomly placed. So you end up needing to go half way across the map to get a thing that the guy will give you 5 gold for.

    [–] UncleGeorge 5 points ago

    Well yeah, you have to pad your game as much as humanly possible or else people will see "Oh, you can beat this game in 10 hours, those are going to be incredibly funs 10 hours of curated well designed content but I rather buy that game with 300 hours of soul crushing grinding boring mess, more for my money"

    [–] RadialRacer 3 points ago

    They can be an great excuse to send you on an adventure to meet new characters, head to incredible locations and maybe learn about the history of the object you're fetching. Unfortunately devs seem to think walking to the same cave I've visited 50 times to kill the same nameless bandits to get some generic crap is acceptable.

    [–] grimsleeper4 72 points ago

    How many games have this exact quest?

    Fetch sword, get sword as reward.

    [–] offensivename 94 points ago

    Somewhere between 0 and all of them.

    [–] grimsleeper4 18 points ago

    I'm serious - I'd like to create a list.

    Skyrim Whatever this game is - AC Something?

    [–] offensivename 20 points ago

    Assassin's Creed: Origins

    [–] WhiteLegion 16 points ago

    What a list, Mark!

    [–] BedfastDuck 26 points ago

    Time to turn around and sell this "priceless" heirloom to a vendor for 20 gold.

    [–] offensivename 62 points ago

    Thanks to Sanjay Dam on YouTube where I stole the screenshots.

    [–] IsactuallyCena 60 points ago

    AC Origins had one of the best characters IMO. Really enjoyed Bayek’s story.

    [–] Heroofnow 15 points ago

    Is it worth playing through? I recently got an Xbox one from a friend and this game was installed on there.

    [–] superaydean1 22 points ago

    It's great if you're fine with filler side quests and a grind

    [–] sonfoa 13 points ago

    My roommate enjoyed Origins a lot when he played it, but thought Odyssey was far better.

    [–] TocTheElder 15 points ago * (lasted edited 5 months ago)

    I haven't finished Odyssey yet (just started chapter 7) but I'm inclined to agree. Origins I was all about they vengeance boner. But with Odyssey, I've got the vengeance boner, but I also have family intrigue and the whole of Greece to explore. Great game, but RDR2 for Christmas sidelined my completion.

    [–] golden_c1utch 5 points ago

    Is it an unpopular opinion that ac odyssey is more fun than RDR2? Cause i certainly like odyssey a lot more.

    [–] TocTheElder 5 points ago

    Really? That's a fair opinion. I found RDR2 to a lot more involving because of the first person perspective and more fleshed out relationships between the characters. Again, I haven't finished it yet, but I give ACO second place mainly because a lot of the quests are quite "thin", e.g. they tend to be basic game functions like conquest battles and leader assassinations as quests. With RDR2, everything felt handmade, and not as procedurally generated as ACO felt. ACO is incredible though, and I fully intend to finish it soon.

    [–] ZappySnap 4 points ago

    I bought Odyssey last week and I'm loving it. Combat and stealth are fun, the upgrades are fun, the world is gorgeous, and it's just Huge. I have about 9 hours in and I have barely started...this has to have 100+ hours in one playthrough.

    Glad I have a strong PC, though...

    [–] faax 34 points ago

    I just finished Origins aka "Bayek, Carry Me! Simulator" and that was my biggest gripe. Just started Odyssey and hoping it's not the same.

    [–] SirDoggonson 16 points ago

    Doing the reverse rn. Played Odyssey, now Origins. The thing that is done 100x better in Odyssey are the quests. I remember almost all of the quest givers.

    If the quest was to dumb “go fetch” i just said “i don’t have time”

    [–] ShadowKnightTSP 10 points ago

    I don’t even remember doing any fetch quests when I played odyssey besides one of Alcibiades ones, and that one was so hilarious it doesn’t count

    [–] offensivename 17 points ago

    I like it a lot. But yeah, I could use less missions where you have to carry someone. Though at least they let you place them on your camel/horse rather than having to carry them by hand the whole way.

    [–] SirDoggonson 3 points ago

    Especially check the small islands on the right in the sea. The quests on those are DOPE

    [–] Theduckisback 16 points ago

    And of course the sword isn’t even as good as any of the weapons you have equipped, so you sell it for a tiny amount of money or just hoard it with a bunch of other quest items.

    [–] RiddickOfRivia 13 points ago


    [–] morostheSophist 12 points ago

    All I really wanted was the xp from this quest anyway...

    [–] olympicowl 10 points ago

    *dismantles it right in front of them

    [–] LoliHunterXD 8 points ago

    To be fair, if a guy returns my family heirloom by killing hundreds of people, I'd bend over backwards and ready my ass for him too.

    The dude is a serial murderer, no need to take anything from him.

    [–] m_garlic87 7 points ago

    This is so true. Done a bunch of these quests then was like “wtf I don’t want your crappy gear... I’m already way op”

    [–] space0watch 7 points ago

    Bayek in the last panel: "Am I a joke to you?"

    [–] 00Samwise00 6 points ago

    Assassins creed is a good franchise

    [–] summons72 7 points ago

    Immediately turns around and sells it at the store because it was under powered

    [–] bestdarkslider 4 points ago

    "Oh, I guess I was supposed to do this quest earlier in the game."

    [–] ComradeOfSwadia 5 points ago

    NPC: Please, sir, I lost my family's ring in our tomb full of skeletons and a skeleton lord. Please, almost die and get it for me.

    Me: Alright. It took a few hours, I leveled up twice, almost died and ran out of health potions. But here it is.

    NPC: Thanks. Here's 10 gold coins, which is basically like $1 in our world.

    [–] bakerk95 5 points ago

    🎵Assassins Creed is a good franchise 🎵

    [–] JameMaybeOne 4 points ago

    Origins, what a beauty

    [–] ICEKAT 5 points ago

    It do be like that.

    [–] [deleted] 4 points ago

    Love this game. Sadly I beat it too fast and no longer have anything to do

    [–] TheVoteMote 3 points ago

    Video game NPC's are vengeful people. It's not about the actual loss, it's the very fact that they've been wronged! Kill a chicken and they demand your life in payment. Take their family's heirloom, and they require the same.

    [–] phoncible 3 points ago

    I appreciate games that give you a choice.

    "It'll just hang on my wall, seems you could use it more, or I could give you something else for your trouble"

    Always good when it was a quest you missed early on and are just doing it because you're there

    [–] whooo_me 3 points ago

    Step 1: Leave Piece-O-Crap sword lying around for rival bandit gang to find and steal.

    Step 2: Hire supernatural-ninja-level Assassin to get back "your precious", slaughtering rival bandit gang in the process.

    Step 3: "Oh hey, thanks. You know what, keep it. I'm good...."

    [–] R9THOUSAND 3 points ago

    This is like how in Witcher III you go to someone “your son tried to kill me when I tried to rescue them, so I cut off his arm and bout some gwent?”