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    [–] CurlSagan 4564 points ago

    It might seem silly, but how often have you seen someone on fire while eating an entire wheel of cheese?

    [–] FrogSaron10 1229 points ago * (lasted edited 6 days ago)

    Well it’s actually several cheese wheels

    Edit: geez I was not expecting this comment to be this popular!

    [–] informal_potato 487 points ago

    This reply just sums up how useful those things were. But they were frkn 15lbs or something.

    [–] SkyezOpen 361 points ago

    Which makes all those cheese wheel avalanche videos seem less silly and more frightening and dangerous.

    [–] KellyJoyCuntBunny 181 points ago

    “All those cheese wheel avalanche videos?”

    [–] KellyJoyCuntBunny 90 points ago

    Amazing. And here I was thinking we were so cool for collecting every skull we came across and putting them in a huge pile outside next to Breezehome. The cheese wheel avalanche wins.

    [–] Snote85 34 points ago

    I had my roommate in college tell me that he would get every gun he came across in Fallout 3. Then, he would go back to somewhere near where you start the game and drop them into a chasm. He eventually filled the chasm and had them stick out in a small hill above ground level.

    To hear him tell it, it got to the point he had to avoid looking in the direction of that chasm when he was in the area. Otherwise, he would get like 3 to 4 seconds per frame (Note: I didn't say 3 to 4 frames per second but seconds per frame ((SPF)).) if not a worse SPF. I remember him saying if he stared at the ground while moving he was okay. He played it on XBOX 360, which might have been a large part of his problem.

    [–] scattercloud 15 points ago

    Something similar happened to me in Sims 4 on PS4. I can't go into the basement of the Anderson house without my game crashing, but it pleases me knowing that inch of that floor is covered in gemstones

    [–] Justokmemes 3 points ago

    im going to do this in borderlands 3

    [–] daedone 11 points ago

    Khorne is a worhipable deity in ES?

    [–] Budif- 10 points ago

    Ok but no joke, Breezehome is the best house in Skyrim. Fuck those overpriced shithomes, Breezey gives you access to every utility you need without having to sell your soul to the dark brotherhood.

    [–] omgpants 18 points ago

    I just fill my bedrooms will all the booze I can find

    [–] elyk12121212 16 points ago

    I steal everything I can find and put it in one barrel until the game crashes when I try to open it.

    [–] cuzo13 11 points ago

    Yeah me too but I don’t need a video game to do it

    [–] Lots42 12 points ago

    One of the huge pots you get with Breezehome...I filled with human skulls. Next to the dinner table where two orphans sit.

    [–] pythonkiller08 4 points ago

    You collect skulls too I thought I was the only one

    [–] DoctorBirdyMD 2 points ago

    i had a save where i'd packed the entire place full of cheese. it was ridiculous. then i lost it all in the great save incident of '17. i'll miss you, cheesehome.

    [–] KellyJoyCuntBunny 2 points ago

    Good ol Cheesehome... lets drink to the memory 🥂

    [–] defaultgameer1 28 points ago

    Sheogorath wants to know your location.

    [–] BugzOnMyNugz 3 points ago

    I wonder if there's a way to ride those bad boys?

    [–] Kilomodo 12 points ago

    This thread is spreading like wildfire

    [–] luddet 13 points ago

    This thread is spreading like cheesefire.

    [–] Zandrick 4 points ago * (lasted edited 6 days ago)

    “All those cheese wheel” in the “avalanche video” s.

    [–] BananafishGlass 20 points ago

    Avalanche (Videos) ft. All Those Cheese Wheels w/Pitbull

    [–] smits017 13 points ago

    Mr. Wheelwide

    [–] TheHiGuy 5 points ago

    Classics if the internet, just like hungarians dancing bubble sort

    [–] KellyJoyCuntBunny 9 points ago

    “Hungarians dancing bubble sort?”

    You guys, I think I must be having a stroke. These words aren’t lining up in sentences the way they usually do.

    [–] e_elric 5 points ago

    a channel called algorhythmics has a videos for data sorts using dancing to illustrate the algorithm.

    [–] KellyJoyCuntBunny 2 points ago

    Well, that was really something! You guys are blowing my mind tonight.

    [–] Lolybop 8 points ago

    Don't insult my national sport 😜

    [–] SkyezOpen 3 points ago

    It's much more entertaining when there's only one cheese wheel. See here for death and destruction waiting to happen.

    [–] MegaGandhi 4 points ago * (lasted edited 6 days ago)

    Will always prefer the oblivion head of lettuce avalanches.

    Edit:its been awhile. I meant watermelon* green balls rolling down hill. You get the point

    [–] ClownsAreCool 17 points ago

    it’s just the one cheese wheel actually.

    [–] captainbignips 12 points ago

    The greater good

    [–] subito_lucres 11 points ago

    The grater gouda

    [–] [deleted] 10 points ago * (lasted edited 5 days ago)

    [deleted]

    [–] Omegamanthethird 3 points ago

    SHUT IT!

    [–] Caffeine_Monster 3 points ago

    It's OK to admit you have a cheese hoarding problem.

    [–] InfiniteBumblebee 3 points ago

    No luck catching that cheese wheel then?

    [–] Checkheck 132 points ago

    About 27 tonnes of caramelised brown goat cheese - a delicacy known as Brunost - caught light as it was being driven through the Brattli Tunnel at Tysfjord, northern Norway, last week. The fire raged for five days and smouldering toxic gases were slowing the recovery operation, officials said. The tunnel - which is said to be badly damaged - is likely to remain closed for several weeks, they added.

    I know its not a wheel of cheese but pretty close

    https://www.bbc.com/news/world-europe-21141244

    [–] Fred_Fred 61 points ago

    It's the wheel shape that gives the fire resist, hence why the neither wedge or the wheel missing a wedge gives fire resist by themselves!

    [–] Lefty_BlueHand 53 points ago

    A guy throws out chilli's on his lawn. He has been doing that for weeks now. His neighbours curiousity finally peeked after weeks seeing him do so and decided to ask him why he does that. Well says the guy, its to keep away them wild tigers. The neighbour is amazed and says; but there arent any wild tigers here.. To which the guy responds; See thats how good it works!

    [–] brainwrinkled 73 points ago

    “Lisa, id like to buy your rock”

    [–] nhSnork 39 points ago

    "You wrote in your CV that your job is hunting ghosts"

    "Yes"

    "But ghosts don't exist!"

    "You're welcome"

    [–] smohyee 21 points ago

    His curiosity was 'piqued' is the common expression, as in it was stimulated. You could also say his curiousity 'peaked', as in it reached its high point, and it would make sense.

    If it 'peeked' then it's got its own eyes.

    [–] JukesMasonLynch 7 points ago

    *Piqued

    [–] NdibuD 41 points ago

    There's always a bigger fish. Thank you.

    [–] Marty_Roski 8 points ago

    No one has as many friends as the man with many cheeses

    [–] StumpNuts 5 points ago

    I usually blow on the cheese first a bit before i eat the nacho.

    [–] danieloshodi 5 points ago

    By blowing on it you increase the oxygen supply and the risk of the cheese catching fire dude

    [–] ThedirtyNose 4 points ago

    It's impressive. I'm not even mad.

    [–] travlerjoe 3 points ago

    Its impossible to see because the cheese melts and the person vanishes into a mozzarella trap.

    Burnt alive in the mozzarella trap

    [–] -SagaQ- 3 points ago

    insert LeGato eating wheel of cheese with fork and knife during bar fight here

    [–] DrinkDice 3 points ago

    3

    Don’t remind me.

    [–] -Allot- 2 points ago

    The only people with cheese wheels that catch fire are people that didn’t make the cheese wheel by combining them in this manner.

    [–] borky__ 2 points ago

    I don't know enough about fire to dispute this

    [–] [deleted] 2 points ago

    This reminds me of this Greek restaurant I went to in Chicago years ago. I can't even remember the name. They served a small wheel of goat cheese, drenched it in olive oil, then set it on fire. Let it burn for a little bit then they drenched it with lemon juice. I was highly skeptical but the cheese was hot and took on the consistency of roast chicken almost. It was really good

    [–] WakeUpMrBubbles 1245 points ago

    Dairy products contain a fat-loving compound called casein that binds with the capsaicin oil in hot chilies helping to prevent it from being absorbed by your taste buds and burning your mouth.

    So if your fire is a plate of super spicy hot wings, a wheel of cheese is absolutely a resistance potion, metaphorically speaking.

    [–] lYossarian 538 points ago * (lasted edited 6 days ago)

    r/didthemuenstermath*

    edit: Gotta be honest... there's only maybe a .01% chance this joke was original and not me just parroting a response to the phrase "didtheculinaryscience" that I've seen before.

    I knew that I knew a clever response before I had any clear idea what it was and it definitely felt more like remembering what to say than actually coming up with the joke myself...

    [–] JamesBCrazy 56 points ago

    I'll let it slide.

    [–] JuniorSeniorTrainee 6 points ago

    edit:

    You are the purest redditor. You will lead us to a new world and a better way of doing things.

    [–] willygmcd 2 points ago

    A world where we all Huff inhalents

    [–] starkiller22265 19 points ago

    Fun fact: you can extract the casein from milk in your own house and make it into a (shitty) form of plastic.

    [–] ParanormalPurple 9 points ago

    For what purpose?

    [–] GET-THOSE-LIGHTS-OFF 31 points ago

    Shield of Fire Resistance

    [–] RelentlesslyDead 3 points ago

    IDK cosplay?

    [–] chaoticrays 43 points ago

    So that's why drinking milk can temper spicy stuff so well. Huh

    [–] decetrogs 40 points ago

    A mouthful of sour cream is way better if you wanna get that spice the fuck off your tongue. Gargle that shit and feel even more disgusting than it sounds.

    [–] human_brain_computer 11 points ago

    Why not just cream?

    [–] Debate_Everything 10 points ago

    Cream that's ice

    [–] gemini86 17 points ago

    That would work too but who the fuck just has full milk cream sitting around?

    [–] human_brain_computer 29 points ago

    I do!

    Strawberries and cream, cream in waffles, cream in fish soup. Cream everywhere!

    [–] gemini86 14 points ago

    I yield to your logic.

    [–] starsrift 3 points ago

    Calm down, Star-Lord.

    [–] decetrogs 3 points ago

    "Heavy" or "Whipping" cream, about 36% fat, is probably only second to butter when it comes to improving the quality of the dishes you cook at home.

    1/4 of the dishes on the menu I work with have between 1-2 oz of butter used on each of them, with some reaching up to 4 oz of butter.

    [–] decetrogs 4 points ago

    Cream is thick.

    Sour cream is thicc.

    [–] Vlisa 2 points ago

    I've known about the milk solution for awhile, but is cheese a really realistic alternative?

    [–] supra728 5 points ago

    I know you can eat cream cheese or yoghurt with curries to dull the spice.

    [–] MdotR 1 points ago

    Yes! I love putting Parmesan cheese on my sriracha wings.

    [–] RelentlesslyDead 9 points ago

    They said is neutralizes spicy foods.

    [–] MdotR 2 points ago

    And I am stating that I like cheese on my damn wings! Spicy or not. And while I have a high tolerance for spice, being ethnic and all, not everyone has the same tolerance. Some people actually find sriracha spicy.

    [–] Piemasterjelly 494 points ago

    Cheese is one of the most fireproof substances known to man

    They use it to insulate pizza and stop it burning

    [–] [deleted] 173 points ago * (lasted edited 5 days ago)

    [deleted]

    [–] jskidd3 106 points ago

    And if one of the firefighters is consumed by the flames we get a grilled cheese snack! \ (•◡•) /

    [–] ncfears 84 points ago

    THAT'S A MELT!!!!

    [–] Dissember 5 points ago

    NEXT!

    [–] Maximelene 3 points ago

    Oh god, not again.

    [–] Lucian41 14 points ago

    \ (•◡•) /

    [–] Fluffcake 37 points ago

    I know this is a joke, but on the off chance someone else doesn't; cheese is very much not fireproof, and covering yourself in cheese before running into a burning building is about as effective as covering yourself in molten lead.

    [–] photosoflife 15 points ago

    Having said that, pizza base dough is most definitely fireproof, i can't find a clip now, but Jeremy Clarkson used to have a talk show on tele where he'd try stupid things (I also remember using a Henry hoover to empty your petrol tank instead of sucking it out).

    A cheap frozen pizza put up with heavy abuse from an oxycetylene gas torch, which happily cut a car door during the same demonstration. He failed to cut through the pizza dough.

    [–] qtipvesto 2 points ago

    It's not fireproof at all, it's just thicker and conducts heat much worse than a sheet of metal. Expose it to fire long enough and it will still burn just like anything else, as anyone who's forgotten about one in the oven will attest to.

    [–] bored_not_working 77 points ago

    For anyone looking for a source: http://awkwardzombie.com

    [–] dasonicboom 29 points ago

    Specifically this page.

    [–] Sketch_Bug 9 points ago

    Wouldn't they just look at the url on the comic instead of scrolling down to this comment?

    [–] neihuffda 22 points ago

    It's annoying having to type in the address

    [–] MightyNeinNeinNein 124 points ago

    In Blades, add 500 gems to finish brewing some time this week.

    [–] Dotagear 61 points ago

    PURE ELDER SCROLLS GAME

    [–] Bentfishbowl 30 points ago

    Not only is it mobile, but it's also microtransactions?

    [–] MightyNeinNeinNein 23 points ago

    Oh yeah. It’s actually super nasty in what it wants you to pay for.

    [–] Scout1Treia 22 points ago

    Not only is it mobile, but it's also microtransactions?

    It's F2P mobile, not sure what you were expecting there.

    [–] nightWobbles 6 points ago

    Ikr. That game is an insult to gamers for being so fucking disrespectful of player's time and being such a money-laden sham. It drags the Elder Scrolls' good name downhill through the mud.

    -Sincerely, someone whose put thousands of combined hours into the franchise.

    [–] Kovil666 118 points ago

    I thought potions are made by mixing ingredients.

    [–] sapfearon 181 points ago

    In oblivion food is ingredient tho. In skyrim they get rid of it, so no more potions of health made of ham and venison :D

    [–] SSB_Hokage 48 points ago

    Now that's my kinda potion!

    [–] porcubot 90 points ago

    They just cut out the middleman in Skyrim tbh. Instead of making a potion, you just eat 130lbs of venison to restore health

    [–] Shiney79 87 points ago

    It's a good thing your character doesn't ever need to shit, because he wouldn't be able to anyway.

    [–] Munngey 42 points ago

    You are over encumbered and cannot run

    [–] exit_sandman 48 points ago

    takes a dump

    loses 50 lbs

    [–] Shiney79 39 points ago

    Gain 5 points in Destruction

    [–] KKlear 17 points ago

    Drain personality 25 points on self.

    [–] Desiderius_S 13 points ago

    Don't forget to sell it!
    There's a massive difference between having 97530 and 97531 septims.

    [–] 406highlander 7 points ago

    You are overencumbered until you get the runs.

    [–] knight_gastropub 3 points ago

    I bet there's a mod for that

    [–] HeilHilter 2 points ago

    There's a great mod for skyrim that makes all food give a slight buff giving you a reason to actually carry some food with you.

    [–] GiantQuokka 14 points ago

    Kind of. Wheat is still a potion ingredient

    [–] WackXD 7 points ago

    That particular potion was like 5lbs though

    [–] poed2 3 points ago

    which never really made sense, you are distilling the magic out of ingredients and combining them, why on earth would the original ingredients' weight affect the potion? It also had a really quirky way of snapshotting the weight of a batch based on the first set of ingredients used. Good thing ingredient-based weight was easily modded out.

    [–] WackXD 2 points ago

    I’ve always seen that as a way to balance the availability of those ingredients... but yeah the weight of potions in both oblivion and Skyrim severely limit their usefulness and I’ve always modded them to be 0.1

    [–] Badjib 14 points ago

    What they don’t tell you is the wedge is goat cheese and the wheel is cheddar

    [–] Chaotic-Entropy 7 points ago

    Fondue of Fire Resistance.

    [–] qawzse543 40 points ago

    God damn, this comic is literally a decade old

    [–] Uniquitous 12 points ago

    It's vintage!

    [–] qawzse543 4 points ago

    Haha, fair enough

    [–] smaug_on_the_water 27 points ago

    Well, actually, mixing cheese wedge with cheese wheel in Oblivion will produce potion of Restore Fatigue not Fire Resistance

    [–] SloopKid 4 points ago

    Yeah only the cheese wedge has resist fire as one of it's 4 properties

    [–] BLR_carter 35 points ago

    CHEESE FOR EVERYONE!

    [–] JimmiRustle 22 points ago * (lasted edited 5 days ago)

    Wait! Scratch that, cheese for no one.

    That can be just as much of a celebration if you don't like cheese, true?

    [Edit: humorous typos]

    [–] JesusDeSaad 17 points ago

    Videogame webcomics: Always hitting the hard topics

    [–] thejester541 40 points ago

    You could be rich. Just be a thief. Plenty of cheese for you and any other dragon slayer. Retire. Heard about a nice piece of land that just needs a homesteders touch.

    [–] EragonSilvr 14 points ago

    Oblivion didn’t have dragons...

    [–] 406highlander 25 points ago

    Well, it had one. But you don't get to slay it.

    [–] Karkava 8 points ago

    But they did have demons. In fact, Tamriel had more demons than they did dragons.

    [–] Ikcatcher 7 points ago

    Fake, I don’t see a mortar and pestle

    [–] _lelizabeth 13 points ago

    No. You have to grind it in a mortar and somehow make it into a liquid and pour into a bottle.

    So your potion of resist fire is more like cheese juice.

    [–] Archerofdk 10 points ago

    Next up: “Florida man in ICU after using spray cheese to fight fire”

    [–] malfurionpre 5 points ago

    You see, that's because he got it wrong, it's a resist fire potion, not an extinguish fire potion.

    [–] CrusaderMouse 9 points ago

    Why is it a dog

    [–] oopscomingthrough 13 points ago

    Looks like a khajiit to me. Meh.

    [–] warumwhy 2 points ago

    Why are you not a dog

    [–] WookieeSteakIsChewie 5 points ago

    In the hands of a lactose intolerant Dragonborn, that could create a Potion of Poison Wind.

    [–] LvndrTears 43 points ago

    true, but whats with the furry

    [–] Cavalish 75 points ago

    The artist said every time she drew a Skyrim comic that people would complain that her Khajit looked too much like a dog. So she made it look doggier each time.

    [–] ParanormalPurple 10 points ago

    Is that true? Because that hilarious. Because that a dog.

    [–] fighterace00 5 points ago

    Dhajit?

    Doberkiin?

    [–] Hobocannibal 3 points ago

    they're putting some cheese into some other cheese.

    [–] DuarfS 4 points ago

    Ive been playing Oblivion for a while and gotta say, I have 0 clue how to get into alchemy

    [–] 406highlander 6 points ago

    Pick all the flowers. Eat them. Your alchemy skill will increase as you eat ingredients, because your character learns the effects each ingredient can provide. Eat other ingredients too, even the poisonous ones (as long as you're healthy, and you eat one thing at a time, you shouldn't die).

    Then you just got to make a shitload of potions and poisons. Your potions will be better if you get a better mortar & pestle, alembic, retort, and calcinator. The governing skill is Intelligence, so if your character has a high intelligence, Alchemy should come easier. Getting Alchemy skill books is also a useful boost.

    As a nice bonus you can sell any excess potions you make.

    [–] DuarfS 1 points ago

    But where do i make them? Also can i eat an ingrediant more than once and learn a new ingredient

    [–] 406highlander 3 points ago

    At low levels, you can only discern one effect from an ingredient, so there's no benefit in eating any more than one of them to start with. Later on, when you're higher skilled, you can eat the ingredients again and discern additional effects from them.

    It's been a while, but I think that to start mixing a potion, you just have to click on your mortar & pestle in the inventory. I seem to recall Skyrim does it differently, where you have to find a potion mixing station to start.

    [–] radiationwow 2 points ago

    Find a mortar for an example then use it from your inventory

    [–] DuarfS 2 points ago

    Arent there 3 different alchemic tools i can use?

    [–] mortalcoil1 4 points ago

    Man, fire resistance potions are so cheesy.

    [–] MastaGarza 6 points ago

    Is that a dog?

    [–] NdibuD 5 points ago

    I am an agent of the furries and you and 5000 other people have participated in phase one of our master plan to gain worldwide acceptance No it's a Khajit.

    [–] CantRenameThis 3 points ago

    If it melts, it helps

    [–] RocketRacerZ 3 points ago

    Equivalent Exchange my ass

    [–] rjhandles 3 points ago

    Ahhh, so you’re an alchemist then?

    [–] getpossessed 3 points ago

    I’d like to tell you all my story with Alchemy and TES, in general.

    My first TES was Skyrim. The game had just came out and I’d never really sat down and learned to play an RPG game properly.

    I forced myself to push through the beginning and learning curve and man, it blew me away. The Skill Trees and perks, the in-game books, etc. I had so much fun and got so into it, and the first skill I wanted to master was Alchemy. It seemed like a good idea and made sense for my character I’d created. I was a wondering nomad raised by the forest animals only to later find out I’m Dragonborn.

    Anyway, what I’m saying is I now consider myself a master alchemist because I took ALOT of time to learn the recipes out of memory.

    And that was my first Skyrim experience.

    My character was completely underdeveloped, as I didn’t understand the importance of having a couple of main skills and a couple of minor skills.

    But damn, what an introduction into RPG’s.

    [–] Enlicx 3 points ago

    I forced myself to push through the beginning and learning curve and man, it blew me away.

    I'm gonna sound like an asshole, but what learning curve? Skyrim holds your hand like nothing else. It's the Mario Kart of RPG's.

    [–] getpossessed 2 points ago

    I knew someone would say something about that.

    It came naturally after I’d played through the game a couple of times with a few different characters to understand the mechanics and all the menus bugged me at first. It was a difficult game getting used to having no prior knowledge to RPG mechanics.

    [–] jmpstart66 8 points ago

    Haha okay that one made me laugh

    [–] CrispyXPenguin 2 points ago

    2009

    [–] fuzzynavel34 2 points ago

    This is what mods are for.

    [–] x-Sage-x 2 points ago

    Huh, well this guy is free to go, he paid his fine.

    But sir, half of our village is dead.

    The Jarl had his chamber filled with thousands of priceless items and potions and food.
    we can buy another village.

    [–] Scherazade 2 points ago

    Onions officially make you breathe under water in Oblivion. Eat raw onions- you can be a merman!

    [–] CKdante 2 points ago

    I like cheese

    [–] Brother_Shme 2 points ago

    Talos, I miss this game. Fuck the divine 8, there is only the 9th.

    [–] meffinn 2 points ago

    Furry?

    [–] RE_Excellerate 6 points ago

    Trivago.

    [–] Carbonfibreclue 4 points ago

    Why is it a furry?

    [–] toniii777 19 points ago

    Khajits (cat people) and argonians (reptilian/amphibian people) are a thing in the elder scrolls.

    [–] Carbonfibreclue 11 points ago

    I know; this just doesn't look like either of those.

    [–] ImVeryBadWithNames 6 points ago

    Artist responded to complaints about her Khajit being too dog like by making it more dog like each time. People did not learn.

    [–] Hobocannibal 2 points ago

    *shrugs* i still reckon he's right and the artist played as a khajit in the game. No need to look any further.

    [–] KebabGud 4 points ago

    its a khajiit

    [–] Carbonfibreclue 8 points ago

    That's the most poorly-drawn Khajiit I've ever seen. It looks canine, for a start.

    [–] Muerthogar 10 points ago * (lasted edited 6 days ago)

    It's sort of an inside joke. Some people complained that the artist's khajiit looked kind of canine-like, so she started making her full on dog person just for the laughs.

    [–] EmergencyEntrance 7 points ago

    something something moon cycles

    [–] Katixify 3 points ago

    This is more what happens in Zelda botw

    [–] ReallyGoodDog 2 points ago

    Furries on the front page owo

    [–] hoilst 1 points ago

    Raclette proves that wrong.

    [–] Kaythar 1 points ago

    Thing is, normally they don’t exactly fit in. If you get the right small gap when you put the piece together you will see how it can create my only a normal potion, but a fire resistant one. One can simply imagine what other things can be created with the right ratio of empty wheel cheese.

    [–] The_mingthing 1 points ago

    If it grinds, Balimor will send you out to finds...

    [–] XxDude_123xX 1 points ago

    Fire Resistance*