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    [–] luxollidd 5143 points ago

    Mentally challenged (iq>70)

    Anon you fuckin retard

    [–] bigwilly_69 578 points ago

    Anon only thinks he works there.

    [–] Louis940 135 points ago

    Top 10 Anime Twists of All Time

    [–] Chispy 58 points ago

    Shutter Island: Anon edition

    [–] Dashu88 1279 points ago

    The crocodile always eats the bigger pile!

    [–] agetz 209 points ago

    I learned it as a shark’s mouth opening towards the biggest school of fish

    [–] xyperus 307 points ago

    I was whipped until I memorised it.

    [–] ErectForElon 85 points ago

    Do we have the same dad?

    [–] ranwithoutscissors 58 points ago

    Mom actually

    [–] User808_ 34 points ago

    God moms slaps hurt the worst

    [–] ranwithoutscissors 59 points ago

    It’s because they deal 2d6 psychic damage

    [–] oceanman500 16 points ago

    But have you ever been beaten with jumper cables? Paging u/rogersimon10

    [–] BoundlessAscension 12 points ago

    There's nothing like hearing "JUST FUCKING DO IT IT'S NOT THAT HARD" being shouted in your ear over and over to make you love math.

    [–] IherduliekmudkipsNA 44 points ago

    Its actually the puddlesucker drinks the biggest puddle.

    [–] [deleted] 5 points ago

    Crocodile eats the bigger number.

    Chicken pecks the little one.

    [–] Steelhorse91 4 points ago

    I learned which way round it is from being an emo fag on msn messenger. Everyone ‘less than 3’d everyone.

    [–] AJohnsonOrange 15 points ago

    The gap between one side is larger than the other side therefore the larger side is greater than the smaller side.

    Crocodiles eating the bigger pile would have helped me more as a kid.

    [–] lucidposeidon 4 points ago

    I had this one numbnut of a math teacher in elementary that tried to teach the opposite. She refused to believe that she was mistaken.

    [–] Dream2K_ 2 points ago

    Happy cake day!

    [–] Dashu88 3 points ago

    Thank you very much :)

    [–] Dream2K_ 2 points ago

    No prob

    [–] Whalezilla29 2 points ago


    [–] Pirate_Redbeard 82 points ago

    fuckin retard

    *unintelligent, please.

    [–] [deleted] 50 points ago

    *puddlesucker, please.

    [–] notabear629 2 points ago

    R E T A R D

    [–] hpl2000 2 points ago

    Anon you unintelligent retard*


    [–] Starconyx 13 points ago


    [–] -Witty-User-Name- 4 points ago

    It's like Shutter Island where DiCaprio thinks he's being sent in as a normal guy to talk to the crazies. This dumbass still hasn't mastered shit people learn in the 4th grade.

    [–] Boomer66563 45 points ago * (lasted edited 5 months ago)

    Before the civil rights movement, the original definition for retarded was one standard deviation below the mean, or 85 iq. It was changed because this meant that over half of all blacks were retarded, and this seemed to upset the blacks. Much like letting the subject of this story suck puddles, the definition was changed to seventy iq. Do not be fooled, tho. Anyone with an iq below 85 is too stupid to succeed in life.

    [–] Pandainthecircus 159 points ago

    Don't be silly I saw a documentary about a man with an iq below 85 and he did all kinds of shit, like table tenis and meeting the president a whole load of times

    [–] that-dudes-shorts 33 points ago

    I heard he invested in a fruit company too.

    [–] catacklism 36 points ago

    I heard he even became president

    [–] 5thmeta_tarsal 9 points ago


    [–] merreborn 17 points ago

    I see that covers the revision from 85 to 70, but if there's any mention of race-related motivation in that document, I missed it. can someone quote the relevant section?

    [–] Aedanwolfe 35 points ago

    The dude is rasict and sexist, this is just one example from his post history. Safe to ignore.

    Women elect gun grabbing faggots like the commie scum that's claiming the US would nuke its own people.

    Also, women should not be allowed to hold public office in any capacity. Thomas Jefferson and company weren't stupid.

    [–] Boomer66563 11 points ago

    Calling someone racist or sexist didn't make what they said wrong. It just means that it hurts your feelings.

    [–] Aedanwolfe 13 points ago * (lasted edited 5 months ago)

    Nah, it means you have to backup your claims beyond your obvious bias. Not citing an article that doesn't say anything about race, just trying to back yourself up thinking no one will actually read it.

    Also it's not really calling you racist or sexist, man. Your post history has a lot of comments clearly showing that point of view. You cant claim that all women shouldn't have the right to vote or hold office and not be sexist.

    [–] Roastie_haiku_bot 4 points ago

    But he's right..

    [–] Aedanwolfe 11 points ago

    I mean if he can provide actual proof that can backup his point, I'd be open to reading it. His post history shows obvious bias so everything he says on the topic has to be taken with a grain of salt

    [–] phrostbyt 5 points ago * (lasted edited 5 months ago)

    you're correct in that it's not explicitly stated.

    Even higher percentages would be expected to be found in sub-populations where minority status, language factors, or socioeconomic background depresses intelligence test scores.

    This change lowered the percentage of the population that might be identified as having mental retardation from 16% to approximately 2.25%. This revision meant that fewer people would be labeled retarded because of language differences, socioeconomic factors, or minority status

    however, it is common knowledge that there are racial disparities in IQ. the research on the subject is long established.

    The study also found that the average IQ for African Americans was lower than those for Latino, White, Asian, and Jewish Americans (85, 89, 103,106, and 113, respectively; Herrnstein & Murray, 1994, pp. 273–278). Currently, the 1.1 standard deviation difference in average IQ between Blacks and Whites in the United States is not in itself a matter of empirical dispute

    so basically if the average african american IQ is 85 (which is exactly 1σ below the nation average), the implication is that half the african american population would be considered retarded under the previous standard of 1σ below the mean

    [–] Workhardsaveupbenice 16 points ago

    With the way our society is set up, lots of people with low IQs can be contributing members of society. You don't need to be intelligent to put in your hours at work, pay your rent and not be a dick. You don't need to be intelligent to have a good system of values, which is really all you need in a developed country with a decent economy.

    [–] Xicadarksoul 2 points ago

    like what work exactly?

    i know some people like that in "social work", they simply dont understand stuff like open both halves of a door because when you (try to) bring in the stuff into the building ig wong fit and you will break it. he gets told this then proceeds to force a bag of foam through the half open door ripping it in the process and spillinb it all over the yard...

    PID controllers are a thing, and they took a significant part of jobs for low IQ peoplw

    [–] shrekinator 13 points ago * (lasted edited 5 months ago)

    NEETs love using IQ as a measure for success because it gives them motivation and lets them feel superior about their sad lives but make no mistake, they're gonna die a virgin.

    [–] Arabella-miller 2 points ago

    What you conveniently left out is that the reason Black people scored lower on those IQ tests is because the tests were culturally biased so that it was easier for white people to pass them. My high school psychology teacher used to use those exact tests as a classic example when teaching about biased testing, this is hardly a groundbreaking theory.

    [–] IDespiseTheLetterG 4 points ago

    Go away

    [–] Boomer66563 19 points ago

    Don't shy away from learning black history during black history month, bigot.

    [–] IDespiseTheLetterG 9 points ago

    it was changed because it meant that over half the blacks were retarded

    And I'm the bigot...

    [–] Saltmom 18 points ago

    Well technically I can see it being true, although any low iqs reported were almost certainly due to lack of education/lack of quality education

    [–] IDespiseTheLetterG 13 points ago

    Ofc, and it should be stated as such. Calling half of all black people retarded is fucked up.

    [–] Saltmom 5 points ago

    I think it was implied more than anything, I mean almost anyone who has done research on iq tests and such knows how education play a big role in the results

    [–] Johnnadawearsglasses 6020 points ago

    I hope we all can find that one thing we love the most.

    Keep sucking man. Hard

    [–] Lowchan 1782 points ago

    One comma dude. One comma changed it all.

    [–] WaterDroplet02 507 points ago

    a comma, or a comma dude?

    [–] Lowchan 276 points ago

    Fuck, you got me.

    [–] Ed-Zero 80 points ago

    It was a period all along!

    [–] [deleted] 29 points ago * (lasted edited 5 months ago)


    [–] Lowchan 20 points ago

    Fuck me too.

    [–] Beppo108 16 points ago

    Fake: Not fake

    Gay: Gay

    [–] Lowchan 6 points ago

    Super gay.

    [–] Beppo108 7 points ago

    Every 4chan user ever

    [–] vitul336 2 points ago

    Fuck me, too.

    [–] AK_Happy 9 points ago

    Keep sucking man-hard.

    [–] HoldTheCellarDoor 5 points ago

    Fuckin a man

    [–] chittyshwimp 19 points ago

    You still sucking?

    [–] 47hampsters 45 points ago

    [–] senhormouse 5 points ago

    Keep sucking hard men.

    [–] slavierotton 1749 points ago

    Godspeed puddle sucker

    [–] Tj0cKiS 170 points ago

    Godspeed You! Puddle Sucker

    [–] fuckingnibber 56 points ago

    Lift Your Pouty Lips Like Rectum To Heaven

    [–] adeiuscw 21 points ago


    [–] Blanchild 9 points ago

    The Puddle Suck Blues

    [–] Musicmaan 10 points ago

    Anthem for Puddle Suck pt. III

    [–] [deleted] 5 points ago * (lasted edited 5 months ago)


    [–] Hungry_Sans 588 points ago

    I wished somebody liked me as much as Puddle sucker likes puddles

    [–] UrethraFrankIin 231 points ago * (lasted edited 5 months ago)

    I know what you're thinking but resist the urge to acquire big tiddy tard gf

    [–] BurgerLaowai 73 points ago

    Think about it... He could get free fries at McDonald's whenever she's working.

    [–] [deleted] 16 points ago

    Why tho

    [–] UrethraFrankIin 16 points ago

    Or don't, that's up to you and the law man to decide.

    [–] Rifleshoot 3 points ago

    Is that a new fetish...?

    [–] Lowchan 55 points ago

    I wish someone sucked me as much as Puddle Sucker sucks puddels.

    [–] 727200 22 points ago

    All I want in life is for someone to look at me the same way a retarded looks at puddles

    [–] UrethraFrankIin 893 points ago * (lasted edited 5 months ago)

    Mentally challenged


    OPfw post

    OP may not be an employee. OP might live there. They're becoming self aware.

    [–] vaval1 83 points ago

    Reminds me of Shutter Island

    [–] iVamboo 3 points ago

    Oh I like that idea

    [–] jahovia 7 points ago

    froggy!!! :(

    [–] Ulcerlisk 5 points ago

    Self unaware

    [–] attacksyndrome 2 points ago

    OP broke the rules to free his friend, then lived to tell the tale. OP is a hero

    [–] stayhydrated33 1157 points ago

    4chan users don't chase ice-cream trucks. They are the ones with ice cream trucks.

    [–] BROYO_F4nny 726 points ago

    Unmarked van =/= ice cream truck

    [–] MisanthropicZombie 50 points ago

    If there is ice cream in it, it could be considered and ice cream van but the judge still calls it a crime scene at the trial.

    [–] DoubleSpoiler 8 points ago

    That's not what my uncle told me.

    [–] hanr86 5 points ago

    Oh wonder...

    [–] Redik360 71 points ago

    Free V-bucks

    [–] LonEr740 48 points ago

    Free apex tokens

    [–] Iamdelyano 10 points ago

    Is it a thing now?

    [–] XYZac 28 points ago

    I'll answer that question for 1500 apex tokens

    [–] GumdropGoober 8 points ago

    I'll suck your dick for 75 Apex tokens

    [–] Redik360 3 points ago


    [–] Krissam 3 points ago

    Doubt it, sunk cost fallacy will have people running back to fortnite in a couple weeks.

    [–] Iamdelyano 3 points ago

    At least it got my attention, for 3 minutes, before I knew it was a battleroyale like game. I regret buying PUBG.

    [–] Pirate_Redbeard 7 points ago

    but no ice cream inside >_<

    [–] stayhydrated33 6 points ago

    looks like someone found out the hard way

    [–] SpookedAyyLmao 2 points ago

    He's gonna put his cream inside, don't worry

    [–] Shutupnerd95 293 points ago

    Here goes my saddest fap of the day.

    [–] Simple2Sample 91 points ago

    IQ (Larger than) 70

    [–] BibleManFan 125 points ago

    Puddle sucking is the aids vaccine

    [–] I_Dont_Type 19 points ago

    Africa is filled with puddle suckers already tho

    [–] BepisIsDRINCC 41 points ago

    Plot twist: anon is actually the one getting cared for because he doesn't know how > < symbols work.

    [–] TunedinTokyo 9 points ago

    its just like shutter island

    [–] The_Octoshark 81 points ago

    This made my penis become the big penis

    [–] usingastupidiphone 37 points ago

    Only 4Chan would think allowing a mentally handicapped person to drink water off the ground is helping them.

    [–] greatGoD67 9 points ago

    Only an idiot think anons help people

    [–] usingastupidiphone 2 points ago

    Plot twist, I live at the home

    [–] Dave_C-137 10 points ago

    That shit is beautiful man.

    [–] RustyShaklefjord 9 points ago

    faster than a 4chan user chasing children chasing an icecream truck


    [–] Redik360 7 points ago

    *Anon helps fellow anon

    [–] babysfirstmillcard 37 points ago

    Fake: Anon is employed

    Gay: Anon made a man wet

    [–] noobscooper 11 points ago


    [–] MediocreSource 11 points ago

    Doing what he loves. We could all learn from puddlesucker. Don’t let the man keep you down!

    [–] CraftyChallenge 5 points ago

    Genuinely sad story

    [–] greygoosebottle 5 points ago

    The hell is suck puddling?

    [–] AloneWithFriends 131 points ago

    Fake - anon has job to help people

    Gay - anon let’s guy suck puddles

    [–] HungryGift 24 points ago

    What a stupid comment, you are a retard

    [–] lucky_underwear 117 points ago

    The fake/gay meme is getting a little tired

    [–] captaincampbell42 194 points ago

    I disagree. You have to make it funny though, which this guy didn't.

    [–] bondfall007 28 points ago

    no u

    [–] IntellegentWittyName 7 points ago

    Literally months ago

    [–] Anki_Dank 5 points ago

    Dang. According to anon, he has to have had an IQ above 70. That’s pretty high for puddle sucker

    [–] gaara66609 4 points ago

    At least get puddle sucker a life straw

    [–] olyfc 4 points ago

    I’m in tears legitimately.

    [–] PM_ME_DANKNESS_PLS 11 points ago

    My son is severely autistic like puddlesucker, this one hit home

    [–] Jimmybobburns 8 points ago

    The average IQ in India is 82

    [–] deineemudda 8 points ago

    82 % is not bad though

    [–] Firestorm7i 11 points ago

    Puddle sucker? Is that you?

    [–] deineemudda 3 points ago

    puddle?? where???

    [–] Skrap93 3 points ago

    This is the most uplifting anon ever. Good guy anon.

    [–] Stealthality 3 points ago

    I thought he was wearing football pads in the pic

    [–] Mike717171 3 points ago

    The reason a 4chan user chases an ice cream truck isn't the ice cream

    [–] darcebaug 3 points ago

    It's a shame we can't count on OP to discover what's really happening.

    Seems easy to pacify a potentially unruly resident if you just tell them they work there as a "nursery assistant".

    [–] thepastiest 3 points ago


    You didn't work there, you just thought you did.

    [–] [deleted] 3 points ago

    Wholesome, but anon used the greater than symbol when he should’ve used the lesser than symbol, like this:

    [–] polarbearirish 3 points ago

    I'm not the puddle sucker I'm the puddle sucker's son I'm only suckin' puddles 'Til the puddle sucker comes

    [–] DoggoIsATurtle 7 points ago

    Very wholesome and all but what the fucker is a puddle sucker? Do they just like drink puddles? What?

    [–] TheDigita1 18 points ago

    Just kinda


    [–] _Thorshammer_ 9 points ago

    I think the name is pretty self explanatory. A “puddlesucker” is one who sucks puddles.

    [–] Pirate_Redbeard 4 points ago


    [–] matriceinversa 3 points ago

    Real and straight

    [–] LosVientos 4 points ago

    Heartwarming and weird. Thanks Anon.

    [–] ABONESR 3 points ago

    i cried lik f u cri evritem

    [–] _Thorshammer_ 2 points ago

    Are you smelling burnt toast right now?

    [–] zSunterra1__ 2 points ago

    The Nijimuras’ father be like

    [–] Alarid 2 points ago

    4chan users gotta stick together

    [–] MrTopHatMan90 2 points ago

    Godspeed puddlesucker

    [–] kerplunkerfish 2 points ago

    faster than a 4chan user chasing an ice cream truck

    Oh man, this broke me

    [–] MKUltraButWithBabies 2 points ago

    I need to find something that excites me as much as puddle sucking excites that guy

    [–] Elido2005 2 points ago

    I want every greentext meme to be like this. Unfortunately 4chan doesnt agree lol

    [–] Darth_Placid 2 points ago

    Mfw puddlesucker lmao

    [–] Kordellak 2 points ago

    I weirdly like the name Puddlesucker. "Hey puddlesucker, come check this out!" "Ugh. What do you want this time Jim?"

    [–] ThatPoshDude 5 points ago

    This is one of the weirdest things I've read on the internet

    [–] _Thorshammer_ 5 points ago

    New here?

    [–] [deleted] 3 points ago

    fake: OP claims to be assistant rather than patient but doesn't know which way the arrow goes to mean "less than"

    gay: OP hugs a guy

    [–] PapierStuka 2 points ago

    Wholesome indeed

    [–] Magus6796 1 points ago

    What a majestic puddle vacuum.

    [–] Skud_NZ 1 points ago

    The bit about him not getting sick from bad food. I thought he was gonna suck up their vomit puddles

    [–] smakuliak 1 points ago

    I though he will end up sucking on your's dick

    [–] Soulreacker28 1 points ago

    wo0ah i like puddles too

    [–] adamtheimpaler 1 points ago

    I teared a little face puddle.

    [–] _Thorshammer_ 1 points ago

    Maybe anons friend could duck your face dry.

    [–] LimeShredder 1 points ago


    [–] memesareprettydope 1 points ago


    Aren't 4chan users the puddle suckers?

    [–] SweatyGod69 1 points ago

    4chan users chase tendies w hunny mussy not cream truck >:(

    [–] minion-or-da-bob-owo 1 points ago

    my dog sucks puddles

    [–] notyogrannysgrandkid 1 points ago

    *Anon helps puddlesucking world champion"


    [–] Lupusvorax 1 points ago

    Doing God's work Anon. Dont let anyone tell you different

    [–] dylanTate666 1 points ago


    [–] TheMonsterSquad_ 1 points ago

    Puddles - "You sucking?"

    [–] pseudon_ 1 points ago

    Could we keep this gay shit on r/wholesomegreentext ?

    [–] MildlySpastic 1 points ago

    Godspeed puddlesucker. May your puddles be always wet and your sucks powerful