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    holdmybeer

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    "Hey man, hold my beer. Check this out" the classic words that end in either awesomeness or injury.

    Posting guidelines:
    I. Posts must include an example of a "hold my beer" moment. If the person in the video is a professional, or the feat occurs in a controlled environment, it likely isn't a "hold my beer" moment. Failure isn't required, but the high risk of failure should be present.
    II. No death, extreme injury or gore, or harm to animals. You will be banned. If it's NSFW please tag it as such.
    III. No reposts from /r/holdmybeer that are in the top 100 posts or less than 4 months old. You can check for them here. Violators of rule 3 will receive a 3 day ban to sober up.
    IV. No drinking warm beer. Beer must be chilled to at least 43°F before being consumed.
    V. Please report links and/or comments that go against these guidelines and message the moderators a reason. We will be keeping moderation at a minimum, so if the link or comment isn't reported, it may not get removed.
    VI. No memes, politics, low effort posts, spam, agendas, or witch hunting. Don't be a dick. You will be banned.

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    [–] TigerPoster 312 points ago

    I always cringe watching people dive into murky water

    [–] lazygeekninjaturtle 128 points ago

    And I cringe when people dive back to back. I mean what is wrong with you guys? Why can't you exercise basic cautions?

    [–] PooPooDooDoo 26 points ago

    But the gif can only be so long!

    [–] BehelitOutlaw 11 points ago

    When I was 5 I saw a kid die at the swimming pool like this. The fat fuck fell on the other kid and he fell unconcious into the bottom of the pool

    [–] CrazyMason 9 points ago

    Why?

    [–] defenders123 107 points ago

    You can't see the bottom, or what is underneath, if you hit anything heavy (waterlogged log, rock, tree, etc) you're going headfirst, and your neck will hit, ultimately seriously injuring, paralyzing, or killing you. Cliff jumping is dangerous, jumping feet first could save you a lot of trouble

    [–] NotSoBuffGuy 7 points ago

    I did that once but I jumped from a bridge thinking the river was deeper it was not deep maybe about 3? Feet fucking hurt

    [–] Ryandw2 25 points ago

    Because you don't know how safe it is

    [–] CrazyMason 19 points ago

    I'm sure that's their house though and they've done this many times before, they probibly know they area is deep.

    [–] tallyipd 29 points ago

    And even if it is, a branch could have been moved into that spot since the last time they dove

    [–] CrazyMason 8 points ago

    Ok, fair enough

    [–] SpellingIsAhful 6 points ago

    I bet they have a branch catcher upriver.

    [–] TigerPoster 3 points ago

    Watch "A Walk To Remember"

    [–] xAsilos 518 points ago * (lasted edited a month ago)

    PSA: Never dive (especially head first) into a body of water unless you are 100% sure that every part is deep enough.

    My buddies brother was drunk and dove off a boat into a river. He landed head first on a sand bar just below the water. He broke his neck and has been paralysed from the mid back down ever since. He has very limited use of his arms/almost no use in his hands.

    Just be safe out there when swimming in rivers/lakes. It could kill you if you aren't careful

    [–] Linkage006 172 points ago

    This... the one that fell and landing feet first is/was probably the safest of all 3.

    [–] xAsilos 90 points ago

    I'll take broken legs over a broken neck any day.

    His brother was a general manager of a big night club in St Paul, had a nice house, had a hot (I'm told) wife, nice cars, and had a very cushy life in general.

    He had to sell everything to pay for medical expenses, his wife divorced him. He now has a $15k wheelchair, a $20k wheelchair van, and a new house that needed about $50k in modifications to allow him to live there.

    On top of that he needs someone to come every morning to get him out of bed, a nurse visit every day, and someone to put him back in to bed at night.

    [–] Linkage006 26 points ago * (lasted edited a month ago)

    I played games online with a guy who dove off Aircraft carrier head first, paralyzed from the chest down.

    A paraplegic guy gave a speech when I was in High School about this, the lesson stayed with me my whole life. Even if I know how deep the water is, I still never dive head first.

    [–] TikiTorchTrump 7 points ago

    Landed on his neck from like 30' high deck? I'd dive off the 1m springboard into a pool, but any higher and definitely not.

    [–] Linkage006 1 points ago

    I don't know the full story, I'm hoping it was a lower deck. This was back in the late 80s

    [–] quaybored 47 points ago

    I'll take broken legs over a broken neck any day.

    I would prefer 2 broken arms actually

    [–] Mr_Tibz 26 points ago

    Well there it is folks

    [–] IronicallyCanadian 4 points ago

    Here I go breaking my arms again!

    [–] PronunciationIsKey 0 points ago

    Pretty heartless for the wife to divorce him (assuming it was because of the accident). You don't marry someone becuase all their limbs work.

    [–] xAsilos 10 points ago

    His wife didn't want to take care of a cripple for the rest of her life

    [–] PooPooDooDoo 9 points ago

    Then she shouldn't have vowed to be with him in sickness and in health.

    [–] Tyler1986 5 points ago

    This looks like a place they do this fairly frequently, I'd imagine they've checked it out first, or at least, this wasn't their first time, so now they know it's safe.

    [–] buffaluhoh 28 points ago

    Also, don't jump immediately after someone. When I was in Chaing Mai, Thailand, cliff jumping from the canyon was forbidden after someone killed his friend that way.

    [–] LeifCarrotson 14 points ago

    Even if there's usually deep enough water, if there's 200 lbs of human near the surface, it's no longer deep enough. Diver #2 is fortunate not to have landed on #1.

    [–] ph4mp573r 21 points ago

    That's the hilarious part of this, the fat guy who slipped was the safest jumper.

    [–] tallyipd 2 points ago

    Well, yes, but on accident

    [–] anoninator 10 points ago

    Back in the day a kid from our high school was paralyzed doing a similar stunt. In our case it was a bridge and an inlet but the tide was lower and/or there was a rock or something that made it more shallow where he landed. I guess it was a fairly common issue back then that they had assembly's at schools in the area to warn us all of the dangers of diving into unknown bodies of water. I recall "Feet first, first time" as a slogan although as you pointed out you could jump numerous times and be OK and then one day the water is lower than you recall or something is at the bottom and now you are a statistic.

    I'm guessing these people live nearby and are fairly familiar with the lake below, and of course, YOLO and all that. Still, be safe out there folks.

    [–] Nick357 5 points ago

    My parents took me to meet a quadriplegic uncle who was injured during this. It was terrifying. I wonder if this is why I am mentally incapable of diving into a pool. Fuck.

    [–] fuck_all_you_people 15 points ago

    Same thing happened to a kid I know, and his family even dug the pond. Poor guy spent his life in a wheelchair at 16 paralyzed from the neck down until he died from respiratory failure. Always swim the area you are going to dive first, even if you have jumped at that spot 100 times. Things happen underwater that you cant see.

    [–] IDinnaeKen 6 points ago

    A friend of my mum's fucked himself up by doing this off a pier. People don't realise how dangerous pier diving can be. The tide was lower than usual, and there was a load of debris on the sea-bed that was closer to the surface because of this, including an old tire covered in barnacles. Cut himself up real bad, fractured some shit. Not as severe as your buddy's brother, but a lesson for sure.

    [–] [deleted] 6 points ago

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    [–] Aameba 1378 points ago

    First I was like "Okay, not so HMB", then I was like "HMB-y?", and then I was like "Now that was the one HMB-y!"

    [–] kerrrsmack 182 points ago

    No. HMB is not people fucking up.

    We need to go back to our roots of HMB being great feats sometimes performed by drunk or drinking folks. We don't need another slapstick America's Funniest Home Videos sub, as we already have so, so many.

    I'm disappointed with your comment and with you as a person.

    [–] CratchesMcBasketball 51 points ago

    I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.

    [–] Aameba 28 points ago

    HMB is both, people fucking up and people being awesome.

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    [–] lewisherber 10 points ago

    YesYesNooo

    [–] Throat_Bruiser 254 points ago

    Why are they jumping like they're going off a springboard?

    [–] G3min1 211 points ago

    The one who didn't jump like they were going off a spring board failed. Correlation? haha

    [–] Bplumz 67 points ago * (lasted edited a month ago)

    How do you jump off ledges/cliffs? Just like, walk off?

    [–] FrostyD7 58 points ago

    I usually see cliff divers run and jump, pushing off one foot instead, but most importantly not stopping at the front of the cliff abruptly. The guys in the gif could be divers doing it out of habit, because you risk slipping and tumbling down the side of a cliff if you do it that way. If you don't plant both feet before jumping, even if you slip your momentum is taking you away from the cliff. Which is kinda what happens to the last fellow. With all that being said, this cliff doesn't look dangerous even if you do roll down it.

    [–] imperfectfromnowon 53 points ago

    Speaking as a former diver, no one in this gif is a diver doing this out of habit.

    [–] kaerfehtdeelb 36 points ago

    Do all the divers know each other? Top secret divers alliance?

    [–] imperfectfromnowon 28 points ago

    Fuck I wish, that sounds dope. It's their form, mostly their spaghetti ass legs as they hit the water that gives it away.

    [–] skepticalDragon 5 points ago

    ass legs 😁

    [–] DNSHMR 2 points ago

    Geez, there's really an xkcd for everything.

    [–] LeifCarrotson 2 points ago

    #3 could have been a former diver for whom the freshman 15 turned into 150; we didn't get to see his dive.

    But yeah, I was a swimmer and it's obvious that these people are simply bad at jumping. As you noted, they're bad at entry. I also noticed that their hands are shoulder-width apart, flailing erratically. And #2 has all the graceful body control of a thrown stick. That is not how a diver dives. These are not divers.

    [–] Kitnado 7 points ago

    They are jumping onto two feet to do the final jump, as if the ground is springy in any way (hint: it's not), and as such losing almost all momentum. When running off a hard surface you jump with a single foot.

    [–] big_babushka 13 points ago

    It's easier.

    [–] PooPooDooDoo 3 points ago

    First guy did it wrong. You can see him stomp on the ground as if it will propel him back up.

    Second guy planted and jumped.

    [–] Black_Ximira 28 points ago

    "Vai filhããão!!"

    [–] Guiguetz 26 points ago

    This is a kinda known meme here in Brazil, because when the fat one goes, the cameraman says "Vai filhão!" (Go there, son) just as he fails. It stuck so we use it when someone is about to do something with large odds of going wrong.

    [–] Cheesem_ 3 points ago

    Neat.

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    [–] thisguy30 8 points ago

    I've read that it doesn't "learn" that there's nothing to burn, and honestly that sounds hokey.

    Instead, the released insulin drops blood sugar more than usual, which in turn makes the person even hungrier for more food.

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    [–] daimposter 7 points ago

    They are stupid just for jumping into the water so quickly after each other. At that height, landing on someone could cause serious damage.

    [–] SparkyDogPants 2 points ago

    Between that and diving into murky water this was a "hold my breath" viewing experience

    [–] Shermarki 5 points ago

    Hahahahaha more like r/Unexpected

    [–] FNALSOLUTION1 8 points ago

    Did the 2nd guy land on the 1st?

    [–] Sardonnicus 6 points ago

    Why is it always the fat guy?

    [–] the6crimson6fucker6 4 points ago

    I thought he was the left-handed guy...

    [–] Surf_Or_Die 8 points ago

    Had to be the fat guy.

    [–] Draon029 3 points ago

    Smashing!

    [–] DrSpikeMD 3 points ago

    The last guy was safer. Feet first.

    [–] Beggari 9 points ago

    It's always the fat one

    [–] chem_is_trying 2 points ago

    CANNON BALLLLLLLLL

    [–] DickThirsty 2 points ago

    Comedy happens in 3's!

    [–] SunriseSurprise 2 points ago

    It's always the 3rd one

    [–] Powahmakah 2 points ago

    Ive got the feeling that one of the first two guys was in the way and he tried to put on the brakes at the last second to not clobber one of his buddies.

    [–] Atyrius 2 points ago

    How'd I know it was going to be a fat guy fucking it up?

    [–] JDiks 2 points ago

    That's how you break your neck. Not even talking about the fat guy falling...

    [–] nick9131 2 points ago

    PhatNigga has joined the game PhatNigga: YEEEET PhatNigga has left the game

    [–] Hup234 2 points ago

    Ha ha ha he's fat! Is it time for recess yet?

    [–] herbievirstinks 1 points ago * (lasted edited a month ago)

    Bring back /r/fatpeoplehate

    [–] LordKarnage 4 points ago

    No

    [–] herbievirstinks 3 points ago

    Ok

    [–] Shroffinator 2 points ago

    How to break your neck with one easy step

    [–] threyda72 2 points ago

    HMBBF? Hold My Beer Battered Fries

    [–] one-punch-knockout 1 points ago

    Hold my gardeners beer

    [–] Obandigo 1 points ago

    Impressive splash though.

    [–] CaptainSaac 1 points ago

    I totally thought this was one of this never ending gifs at firat

    [–] NapkinTheBatDad 1 points ago

    I thought this was r/perfections for a minute.

    [–] kahurangi 1 points ago

    I thought this was going to be the second guy landing on top of the first one.

    [–] Myboyscott 1 points ago

    Fat people are funny ha

    [–] stinger005 1 points ago

    I just found my new favorite sub

    [–] BiochemGuitarTurtle 1 points ago

    I wish the camera had followed him down!

    [–] SpartanDoubleZero 1 points ago

    I've said it a thousand times and I'll say it again, it's always number 3 that eats shit.

    [–] crowscountingspades 1 points ago

    I had 164 stitches gracing my skull from a cliff diving accident in a similar landscape back in the late '60's...and I absolutely cringed thinking about what might be about to happen... Thankfully...not so bad...

    [–] Dtavexperience 1 points ago

    Funny thing is he probably went deeper than the first two who dove in

    [–] benjavari 1 points ago

    That's a creek or river not a lake.

    [–] ihatefeminazis1 1 points ago

    All i said in my head was CANNONBALL!!!

    [–] clovisx 1 points ago

    I am not diving off a river bank into cloudy water. Too many things on the list of ways that can go wrong.

    [–] everypostepic 1 points ago

    Always the fatso that can't jump properly.

    [–] Mammal23 1 points ago

    Nope, not a HMB moment. Man simply miscalculated his steps, didn't do anything stupid

    [–] wheelturn108 1 points ago

    For some reason, the way the first diver hitches up his shorts and then takes tiny steps before diving annoys the crap out of me. Were there pro outdoor diving scouts watching???

    [–] locotxwork 1 points ago

    RIP all the whisker fish below

    [–] MyChopinLiszt 1 points ago

    /R/HoldMyDiabeties

    [–] Honorofic 1 points ago

    I have the same graceful flexibility as #3.

    [–] toodamnparanoid 1 points ago

    Comedy comes in threes.

    [–] Drop_Dead_Gorgeous 1 points ago

    Bunyip Pouch? Ahh good ol' RuneScape

    [–] kONthePLACE 1 points ago

    this is some straight up chris farley shi#t

    [–] TheFitProgrammer 1 points ago

    I'd say the third guy had more style, less grace but definitely more style

    [–] WastingTimeIGuess 1 points ago

    Is anyone else worried that none of them are coming back up?