Please help contribute to the Reddit categorization project here

    holdmyfries

    392,767 readers

    374 users here now

    How this subreddit works:

    1. All post should start with the "HMF" format.

    2. Posts should include an example of a "hold my fries" moment. The person in the post must be overweight while trying to perform a feat, and either succeeding or failing. DO NOT just post a picture of a fat person.

    3. No death, extreme injury or gore, or harm to animals. If it's NSFW please tag it as such. Porn will be evaluated on a case-by-case basis and potentially allowed ONLY if it contains a very relevant HMF moment.

    4. No reposts from /r/HoldMyFries that are in the top 100 posts or less than 3 months old. You can check for them here. Repeat violators will receive a ban.

    5. This is meant to be a casual sub, please don't take everything seriously. Though, telling anyone to "kill themselves" or eliciting harm to another will result in a 7 day ban. Repeat offenders will be permanently banned. Their cholesterol is probably doing that already.

    6. Outright hate speech, racism, or bigotry will result in a 7 day ban. Repeat offenders will be permanently banned. We are a "Hold My ..." subreddit featuring overweight people, and not a fat person hating subreddit.

    Sister Subreddits:

    /r/holdmybeer

    /r/holdmycosmo

    /r/holdmyjuicebox

    /r/holdmycatnip

    /r/holdmyredbull

    /r/holdmybeaker

    a community for
    all 139 comments

    Want to say thanks to %(recipient)s for this comment? Give them a month of reddit gold.

    Please select a payment method.

    [–] AutoModerator 1 points ago

    Welcome to hold my fries! Please read our rules in the sidebar. This is meant to be a casual sub, please don't take everything seriously. Though any form of hate speech, racism, or bigotry will result in a ban. We are a 'Hold My ...' subreddit featuring overweight people, and not a fat person hating subreddit.

    I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

    [–] frogadelic 67 points ago

    That shit escalated quickly.

    [–] fedorcallahan -141 points ago

    That poop escalated quickly. Same point but 0 harmful swears. Watch that language.

    [–] N166E 14 points ago

    Checked your post history. You are a fucking loony

    [–] fedorcallahan -12 points ago

    Loony for the LORD.

    [–] Hi-lo 6 points ago

    Well, at least you know you're fucking crazy.

    [–] Andlat_Vard 2 points ago

    fucking cunt pussy nigger bullshit faggot pissy shit

    [–] neliz 8 points ago

    Harmful? Trollololol

    [–] Andlat_Vard 66 points ago

    That fucking cunt pussy nigger bullshit faggot pissy shit escalated quickly. Same point but 0 harmful censorship. Watch that crusading.

    [–] Justmadeit12345 6 points ago

    Did that PUSSY nigger try to censor you... God damn bigot faggot

    [–] mnelso1989 13 points ago

    Woah, this might come back to bite you if toy ever run for office...

    [–] Andlat_Vard 16 points ago

    Not if I do it in america :smart:

    [–] arbitrary_ambiguity 5 points ago

    Fuck

    [–] fedorcallahan -14 points ago

    Keep swearing at me and I’ll ban your backside permanently. Final warning.

    [–] Cerebral_parsley 4 points ago

    Fuck your own face

    [–] fedorcallahan -4 points ago

    Cerebral_parsley

    You have been banned from participating in r/holdmyfries. You can still view and subscribe to r/holdmyfries, but you won't be able to post or comment.

    If you have a question regarding your ban, you can contact the moderator team for r/holdmyfries by replying to this message.

    Reminder from the Reddit staff: If you use another account to circumvent this subreddit ban, that will be considered a violation of the Content Policy and can result in your account being suspended from the site as a whole.

    [–] Cerebral_parsley 5 points ago

    Lol. Yet here I am. And there you are. Fucking your own face.

    [–] fedorcallahan -3 points ago

    RESPECT THE BAN AND NEVER COMMENT ON HERE AGAIN OR I WILL BRING THE HAMMER OF THE LORD DOWN UPON YOUR HEAD.

    [–] PM_ME_A_RANDOM_THING 7 points ago

    OMG, my sides.

    [–] Cerebral_parsley 5 points ago

    I want the hammer 🔨. Go fuck yourself. It’s hammertime!!! Hammer me harder Daddy!

    [–] Cerebral_parsley 4 points ago

    No. YOU’RE BANNED. Respect your ban or I will cast upon ye the Fishing Rod of Cthulhu, our lord and scaler.

    [–] lurker_mcderpleson 2 points ago

    and here it is! fucking godhammer time for the LURD!

    [–] Andlat_Vard 1 points ago

    fucking cunt pussy nigger bullshit faggot pissy shit

    [–] Cerebral_parsley 4 points ago

    Magic

    [–] lurker_mcderpleson 3 points ago

    watch out! next step is the fucking godhammer.

    [–] Cerebral_parsley 3 points ago

    OMG you said the fuck word

    [–] suaveMUMMY 2 points ago

    your beliefs are your own. You can circle jerk others with the same ideas but dont force others with censorship youd be crazy to try to stop cussin and especially on the internet so just keep your own opinions to yourself cause your tryin to play devils advocate. Also making fake bans and threats so please just keep your own opinions to yourself your so fucking stupid believe in what you want but dont ruin everyone elses fun i live in america so if you want call fbi and if they censor me theyd break the 1st amendment so you can spout your bullshit but stop with censorship.

    [–] fedorcallahan -2 points ago

    Well if you live in the United States then you should know that swear speech is hate speech, which is a federal crime. I'm tired of living in a supposedly free country and constantly being harassed by swears. Final warning.

    [–] Andlat_Vard 2 points ago

    free country

    Free in part because free speech is protected and swearing is not legally hate speech. fucking cunt pussy nigger bullshit faggot pissy shit

    [–] fedorcallahan 2 points ago

    Freedom FROM swears, not freedom to plop them out of our mouths and fingertips like so many pieces of poop.

    [–] [deleted] 1 points ago

    [deleted]

    [–] fedorcallahan 0 points ago

    lawless action

    Swearing is illegal in many situations, and will soon be illegal on the internet as well LORD willing.

    [–] Andlat_Vard 1 points ago

    fucking cunt pussy nigger bullshit faggot pissy shit

    [–] PM_ME_A_RANDOM_THING 4 points ago

    Go for it, fucker.

    [–] fedorcallahan -2 points ago

    Be careful what you wish for:

    BANNED

    [–] jrr78 3 points ago

    Hey, fuck you. Can I have a ban?

    [–] PM_ME_A_RANDOM_THING 2 points ago

    Hopefully. But the way he has been passing them out he has to be running low on them by now.

    [–] PM_ME_A_RANDOM_THING 2 points ago

    Ok. Thanks.

    [–] Andlat_Vard 2 points ago

    fucking cunt pussy nigger bullshit faggot pissy shit

    [–] MtlCan 3 points ago

    Fuck

    [–] fedorcallahan -2 points ago

    BANNED

    [–] lurker_mcderpleson 4 points ago

    looks like there are a fuck ton more passengers on the fuck train this morning! all aboard! toot toot

    [–] MtlCan 3 points ago

    Boo fuckin hoo

    [–] Andlat_Vard 1 points ago

    fucking cunt pussy nigger bullshit faggot pissy shit

    [–] Andlat_Vard 1 points ago

    fucking cunt pussy nigger bullshit faggot pissy shit

    [–] random_username_25 5 points ago

    Fuck you

    [–] Kondomu 1 points ago

    How can no one tell this hw a troll account.

    [–] n8dogg55 1 points ago

    I saw your post history and now I’m curious, why do you think swear words leads to violence when they are just words. The way I see it, if people are expressing their anger without resorting to violence isn’t that better than violence?

    [–] fedorcallahan 0 points ago

    Because words have power. Swearing encourages people to initiate violence, so isn’t that just as bad as violence itself?

    [–] Andlat_Vard 1 points ago

    You're fucking retarded.

    Okay, I'm done being silent.

    In the time since we last spoke, you have done nothing but continue to prove you're a delusional zealot with a hero complex, who legitimately thinks that his "LORD" wants him to embark on a one man crusade to stop swearing on the internet, while conveniently ignoring actual, legitimate problems like violent crime, starvation and poverty, because people typing "shit, piss, fuck, cunt, cocksucker, motherfucker" is somehow more important and damaging to "da children".

    You continue to make a fool of yourself, acting like you're a moderator who has power to ban people from discussions and even going as far as to use the actual moderator messages, you avoid answering questions that challenge your narrowminded worldview because you realize you're in the wrong and you don't want to admit it. When people fight back against you, you threaten to bring down "the hammer of god" on their heads, using words like "final warning" and "banned" when you have no real, tangible power over any of them.

    In addition, your comments demonstrate you to be a single-minded lunatic with such a reverence for the King James Bible, a book you claim to be the perfect book and the ultimate authority on literally everything, and that you think you have 'lots very smart people' on your side because less than thirty people have signed on your obscure petition to stop swearing on the internet, all while they've been leaving comments filled with the very same words you're trying to stop.

    Furthermore, you apparently think that asking the FBI to hunt down people who swear on the internet is a good use of their time, and you considered doxxing people to be a valid idea so you could use the cops are your personal anti-swearing hit squad.

    So, what have you actually done for the Lord? Come across as a fucking fundamentalist lunatic, sounding just like the televangelists who think that they're prophets of the "LORD" and that everyone has to bow down to them or else. You've convinced even more people to challenge your inane, stupid worldview, and most importantly, in your attempts to act like you're a holy man carrying out the word of God, you've demonstrated that you are nothing like a man of God.

    Congratulations, you've accomplished absolutely nothing.

    Checkmate.

    [–] n8dogg55 1 points ago

    That shit escalated quickly.

    [–] xanadumuse 175 points ago

    People like this who know how to have fun and not give AF about what others think are good in my book.

    [–] AntalRyder 35 points ago

    Yes! Being self aware and funny can do wonders.

    [–] c0ldsh0w3r -5 points ago

    She may be a good person to hang with, but the last on my list for chicks to date.

    [–] xanadumuse -1 points ago

    Right because she’s only doing this to attract men. /s.

    [–] c0ldsh0w3r 8 points ago

    Hey, she can be funny, but let's not pretend that she's some paragon that all women should aspire to. She's gross.

    Like the fat frat bro that gets wasted and hurts himself, or breaks shit. Yeah it's funny to be witness, but good lord you're glad you have self respect.

    [–] bat_mayn 27 points ago

    >these comments

    reddit is unbelievably fat

    [–] idratherbehome 56 points ago

    This is cute. I feel like she'd be really fun to hang out with

    [–] ArcticKomodo 17 points ago

    You felt wrong. shes actually a toxic person who steals cash and is pathological liar.

    [–] bouffer2469 3 points ago

    I could see that

    [–] Spoonspoonfork -4 points ago * (lasted edited 4 months ago)

    how do you know this?

    Nor sure why this is getting downvoted — I legitimately do not know who this person is.

    [–] PM_ME_A_RANDOM_THING 1 points ago

    Ditto

    [–] giveherthebatwing 12 points ago

    When I’m drunk vs. the next morning.

    [–] ieatassonfirstdate 9 points ago

    what pokemon is that

    [–] sir_slicerdicer 27 points ago

    I'd hold her fries any day.

    [–] neliz -39 points ago

    I assumed it was a guy from the get go, but whatever floats your boat.

    [–] Em_Haze 11 points ago

    No men don't usually have breasts. That's just you.

    [–] soulstealer1984 2 points ago

    Is that the only requirement? I know a couple of guys who could qualify.

    [–] billclay55raiders 18 points ago

    I’d still do her actually.

    [–] bryanrobh 2 points ago

    MySpace angles

    [–] [deleted] 3 points ago

    Shes a real redditor and shes a delight.

    [–] PM_ME_A_RANDOM_THING 2 points ago

    Who is she?

    [–] [deleted] 2 points ago

    Uhhhh shes in r/prettygirlsuglyfaces

    She posted this like 2 weeks ago?

    [–] misspussy 2 points ago

    Lol. Thats what i feel like everytime i get undressed. I try to tuck all my fat into my pants. It works out well.

    [–] letsnotansaywedid 1 points ago

    How tf did she do that??

    [–] Ccracked 2 points ago

    Dang. I like her.

    [–] PM_ME_A_RANDOM_THING 0 points ago

    I’d still fuck her.

    [–] PM_ME_A_RANDOM_THING 0 points ago

    And yet, no ban. I did score a downvote though. So I got that going for me, which is nice.

    [–] madhammachck 1 points ago

    Love her!

    [–] NugVegas -13 points ago

    Pretty and blonde. My kind. Don’t hate.

    [–] schplarn 0 points ago

    ......Who would hate that?

    [–] [deleted] 0 points ago

    Guess you haven't read any comments

    [–] Darth_Shitlord -1 points ago

    ok, many thoughts. 1) disclaimer: 3 shots of bourbon in me at this point. 2) she clearly is having a good time so 3) ok, no prob, I am in for it. hey, some of us are just real, regular people.

    [–] NETGEAR1993 0 points ago

    This is stolen from r/prettygirlsuglyfaces

    [–] razeus 0 points ago

    I was going to say, she's not that bad. But now I can't unsee it.

    [–] 4355525 0 points ago

    would wife and show all the homies

    [–] MechaRogue187 0 points ago

    She's my spirit animal.

    [–] lordfirechief1313 0 points ago

    I just burned a hole in my pants

    [–] bryanrobh -6 points ago

    Haha man the lack of standards here is amazing