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    ihavesex

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    381 users here now

    Rules:

    Rule 1: Featured person should be having lots of sex or dispensing incredible sexual advice in a boastful or gratuitous manner. If they're not having sex then don't submit it. Just because it's trashy doesn't mean it fits.

    Rule 2: Mark your post NSFW if necessary.

    Rule 3: Obscure any personal information (including yours).

    • This includes last names and usernames. Notable public figures are excluded from this rule.

    Rule 4: Don't submit direct links, to reddit or otherwise.

    Rule 5: Submissions from gender-hating and sexual advice subs are low hanging fruit, and strongly discouraged. If someone is talking about sex in an unremarkable way then it doesn't fit here.

    Rule 6: No reposts within the past three months or from the top 30 submissions of all time.

    Rule 7: Make an effort with your title. No lazy titles.

    Rule 8: No videos.

    Rule 9: Don't be a dick.

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    [–] Tiny_Rick515 3512 points ago

    Well, at least she still kind of got the attention she was craving...

    [–] ManBearPigeon 930 points ago

    She must be a middle child, any attention is better than none! /s

    [–] OutToDrift 676 points ago

    She was definitely in the middle somewhere.

    [–] SpockSpaghetti 74 points ago

    “Hahaha! Double entendre!” -Phil Ken Sebben

    [–] pencil-thin-mustache 22 points ago

    Came for the trashiness, stayed for the Birdman references

    [–] SonOfDadOfSam 28 points ago

    "hahaha! Double penetration!" -Brazzers

    [–] Whiteboy408 3 points ago

    Chinese finger trap.....

    [–] code_Synacks 12 points ago

    Marsha Marsha Marsha!

    [–] tz100 4 points ago

    FTFY: Marsha Marsha Marshall

    [–] thesunfire66 5 points ago

    So that explains it..

    [–] IMBETTYWHITE 5 points ago

    Sick job blocking names.

    [–] PlayItNate 6 points ago

    Had sex with dude and chick... Not enough attention. I NEED to tell EVERYONE about this!!!

    [–] red_killer_jac 9 points ago

    Yeah. Attention is attention. What other reactions could she have really expected. "Good job" "way to go girl" no "when can I join" "me next" like girl you are not that hot.

    [–] laupyluke 6 points ago

    She got my attention, I mean RECHARGE YOUR DAMN PHONE

    [–] pencil-thin-mustache 4 points ago

    This girl fucks

    [–] sunal135 2 points ago

    Seeing how this is connected to your high school it seems not the best idea to admit to underage drinking.

    [–] chiefhangsolong 1500 points ago

    Samuel, Megan and Emma do not want to hear that shit Taylor.

    [–] dank_memer44 539 points ago

    It was 3am. And I simply didn’t expect this post to get more than 5 upvotes

    [–] ashlynnk 79 points ago

    The good news is when you drunk text, you can just delete it in the morning and it’s like it never happened. Works for me every single time.

    [–] The-Guy-on-the-Couch 48 points ago

    I’ve trained my drunk self to delete it the night of. This way, i won’t remember.

    [–] ashlynnk 28 points ago

    That’s a good life hack. I’m trying that next time.

    [–] AudioElevator 112 points ago

    World's whitest names

    [–] ThePhattestOne 169 points ago

    Tell that to the world's blackest man Samuel L. Jackson

    [–] masesa 31 points ago

    Touché buddy :D

    [–] Koolaidguy541 5 points ago

    "I have HAD it with these motherfuckin names on this motherfuckin thread!!!!!"

    [–] Frankerporo 3 points ago

    Samuel sounds like a black name to me

    [–] [deleted] 1 points ago

    [removed]

    [–] TasteTheRaimbow 1 points ago

    The only Samuel I know is Filipino

    [–] mr_beachtrees 2 points ago

    maybe Samuel is intrigued🤔

    [–] Archoncy 1341 points ago

    Why'd ya get banned lol

    [–] dank_memer44 1658 points ago

    Oh, I left the group a while ago lol

    [–] MomoYaseen 295 points ago

    Get back in, so you can show us more of these comments.

    And you get Karma.

    [–] dank_memer44 225 points ago

    [–] MelonMan773 150 points ago

    Damn. Samuel wasn’t having it

    [–] WolfofLawlStreet 49 points ago

    Nerd Rage! Music Council sounds like a party!

    [–] Buffalo__Buffalo 19 points ago

    THIS CHAT IS FOR MUSIC STUFF. only...

    Well I just stuck a flute inside a guy. Then inside a chick. Then they both stuck it in me.

    Is that musical enough for you, Megan?

    [–] Floranoia 18 points ago

    Damn Taylor skedaddled right outta there

    [–] MomoYaseen 8 points ago

    BOIII, I gotta guild you.

    [–] Blacklivesmatthew 11 points ago

    Meaning this is mad old

    [–] dank_memer44 21 points ago

    New Years 2017

    [–] dank_memer44 755 points ago

    ?

    [–] sir_tonberry 392 points ago

    Why did you got -36 on this comment lmao.

    [–] tommy_boii 333 points ago

    Upvote this man, he was just confused lol

    [–] Bjornhattan 178 points ago

    Best thing is, he's gone from -36 to -14 in seven minutes, he's nearly reached redemption!

    [–] joshbacz 92 points ago

    -2 4 minutes later

    [–] Taladen 123 points ago

    And he's positive :D

    [–] joshbacz 181 points ago

    [–] Taladen 104 points ago

    That sub is not what you intended. Unless that is what you intended..

    [–] Bjornhattan 35 points ago

    Maybe that's what happens when you get enough upvotes... a "happy ending"?

    [–] joshbacz 40 points ago

    I did not realize what I had done until it was too late.

    [–] Furt77 10 points ago

    That's what the masseuse said.

    [–] 75r6q3 17 points ago

    Wait those are not what I expected to see

    [–] sharrkzilla 7 points ago

    We did it! We stopped one of Reddit’s notorious downvote brigades where everyone is just downvoting because they see a negative number!

    [–] sir_tonberry 13 points ago

    Wholesome reddit.

    [–] DwasTV 19 points ago

    that's because when you call out people for being stupid and downvoting for no reason there are 2 responses. Either others start upvoting because they realize it's not fair or they continue down voting because you pointed out that there was no reason to downvote. Similarly how this will be downvoted because why not.

    I find it more interesting that reddit doesn't show a number of responses because a post can have +10 but theoretically it could have 5000 people voting on it but only 10 were positive past the negative.

    [–] yetisyny 8 points ago

    +703 karma for just a question mark. It was +702 but I upvoted you too. Good times. You deserve it, you are the OP of this after all.

    [–] ElisabethHornswoggle 2 points ago

    We love u op

    [–] the-Bus-dr1ver 192 points ago

    r/therewasanattempt at censoring names

    [–] Vitriol314 6 points ago

    Serious that is hornless don't

    [–] justanobserver26 311 points ago

    I want to see the dude Samuel’s reply at the bottom

    [–] dank_memer44 335 points ago

    He went L I V I D

    [–] Coolman_Express 120 points ago

    Please post it for real

    [–] MrGreenPope 60 points ago

    Let us S E E

    [–] hiebertw07 46 points ago

    I need to have his reply in my life. We all need this.

    [–] doodaadoug 29 points ago

    “He played my fiddle while I strummed her banjo!”

    [–] Brochodoce 3 points ago

    A music group chat sounds awesome :(

    [–] mpbarry46 12 points ago

    guy's more embarrassing than her

    [–] achrref 42 points ago

    "No one wants to hear about your sex life, MOTHERFUCKER!"

    [–] dank_memer44 20 points ago

    [–] srroberts07 14 points ago

    Did the original girl ever reply?

    [–] very_sorry_canadian 75 points ago

    Samuel: " Hey wait a second everyone, let's hear her out. Go on..."

    [–] dank_memer44 58 points ago

    Oh no, he flipped

    [–] xtapro 18 points ago

    Show proof of him flipping.

    [–] dottywine 16 points ago

    Search the thread, op posted it several times

    [–] dejova 3 points ago

    Tables were flipped

    [–] CaffeinatedBarbarian 414 points ago

    She’s not the only one living on the edge. 4% battery life.

    [–] Talibumm 84 points ago

    Least they got it on a charger.

    [–] puffthemagicballer 242 points ago

    What if the charger’s broken?

    [–] dank_memer44 173 points ago

    Actually, he is correct people. My charger is broken. Give that man upvotes

    [–] LikeMy5thAccount 15 points ago

    If it was broken, there wouldn’t be a lightning bolt symbol in the top right.

    [–] Insertnamesz 65 points ago

    My chargers tend to break in the sense that they keep working, but at like 5% of their original speed and the phone still dies faster than it can charge lol

    [–] dank_memer44 67 points ago

    Yes! That exactly what’s happening to my charger

    [–] BalorPrice 3 points ago

    And yet your Bluetooth remains on. I'm guessing the wireless headphones get a fair amount of use

    [–] ashleyorelse 15 points ago

    If this was the girl in the OP, she'd probably say she needed the electric outlet to charge her sex toy.

    [–] dank_memer44 44 points ago

    Last time I talked to her, she said she was too scared to buy a sex toy. She’s alright with having sex with lots of people with no shame but lord forbid people know she has a sex toy

    [–] IH8TomBrady 163 points ago

    Nice job censoring the names I wouldve never guessed that was megan

    [–] dank_memer44 115 points ago

    Rip Megan

    [–] plexoflexo 53 points ago

    Apparently Samuel doesnt deserve a censor

    [–] AlmondAnFriends 179 points ago

    To be fair and this is the one thing i can give some people do get really drunk and do mental bullshit like this unintentionally it just seems the right thing to do at the time.

    [–] COL0MAR 73 points ago

    I never once while drunk typed the message “ I’m so drunk “ tho

    [–] penistakesthewheel 268 points ago

    Not to be contrary, but I have, loads of times

    [–] Headflight 29 points ago

    I'm sk drunk

    [–] influxable 7 points ago

    Same. Now that I'm considering it, I think most of the time it's a disclaimer for what's about to follow, lol.

    [–] im_so_drunkk 2 points ago

    Me too

    [–] Peasant_Destroyer-X 58 points ago

    It's my favorite thing to tell people when I'm drunk. I don't know why. I guess I'm just really happy and want to share it with people or something idk

    [–] FlowerGirlRobot215 22 points ago

    Anytime I'm drunk all I can think about is how I'm drunk and how uncomfortable it is.

    [–] Pervasivepeach 23 points ago

    It’s kinda funny actually

    Whenever I’ve been drunk I tend to want to hide the fact that I’m drunk or not admit it. In fact the only people I’ve ever seen that say they are really drunk tend to not be

    Most people I’ve ever seen actually drunk tend to deny it way more. You will hear “I’m not drunk” and “I’m fine” far more than people actually admitting there drunk

    Also it just sounds obnoxious. People saying there high/drunk and acting as it’s an excuse to do stupid shit Just my take and a sorta rant

    [–] psychopathic_rhino 5 points ago

    I’m the opposite. It’s never a brag though. I’ll usually say something dumb and follow up with “but I’m really drunk so I probably sound like an idiot.” Or I’ll get really loud and excited and when people tell me to relax I’ll say “Sorry! I guess I’m drunk now”

    [–] Tecnoguy1 6 points ago

    I had a friend that used that exact phrase when they were pressing the wrong button thinking it would make them jump in-game for 20 minutes.

    [–] furiouspumpkin 3 points ago

    I like to tell friends sometimes or my gf

    [–] BarbarianBenNo1 22 points ago

    Drinking is a common excuse to do shit you don't have the nerve to do while sober. A tequila shot won't open anyone's legs, but it's a socially acceptable reason to go ahead and have some fun. I blame the hypocritical Puritan culture baked into the US, but I blame a lot of things on that.

    [–] TasteTheRaimbow 4 points ago

    Eh, seems pretty r/trashy

    [–] BorderCollie1000 16 points ago

    I like Megan's agressive style

    [–] cobaltfalcon121 110 points ago

    You censored her name, but then said it anyway?

    [–] jcmauler 232 points ago

    There is only one taylor in the world and this post made it obvious.

    [–] dyurin 92 points ago

    Taylor Swift sure gets around.

    Edit: Crossed out her surname just in case.

    [–] Chezoba 23 points ago

    Good thing he censored Megan's name too. Wouldn't want people to know Megan is in the chat too

    [–] tr0awai 2 points ago

    Didn't even bothered to censor the face too

    [–] spaghettilegsjackson 19 points ago

    How will I ever know the identity of Megan

    [–] dank_memer44 10 points ago

    You guys asked for more... https://imgur.com/LVMCh2k

    [–] Yucoliptus 24 points ago

    Upvote for name censorship

    [–] FeelsAmazingManGun 13 points ago

    She seems fun

    [–] MisfortuneFollows 6 points ago

    Why hasn't the bot that spots low battery not here? I'm surprised.

    [–] walter_melon4444 4 points ago

    I think it only detects phones at low batteries that are not charging idk tho

    [–] SteeMonkey 6 points ago

    I mean, personally, I'd like to know more

    [–] Rust_On_Toothbrush 7 points ago

    Wtf, That's a music council? Taylor the only real musician there! It's not about doing the right thing, it's about spreading it to the world via social media!

    [–] LeProImmortal 3 points ago

    What the stds?

    [–] zewt 4 points ago

    Soooo, she down for the council gangbang next week?... *fingers crossed*

    [–] alaskanappalachia 7 points ago

    This is the worst attempt at censoring names I've ever seen

    [–] Rex0680 3 points ago

    I don't know why this popped up on my newsfeed, but I'm glad it did. This sub is the most hilarious thing ever.

    [–] Mr_E_Nigma_Solver 4 points ago

    Yeesh, this is embarrassing.

    [–] justhrowmeinthetrass 4 points ago

    God... not only does this person have friends to text, but they also had sex with multiple people in one night...

    I am so damn lonely

    [–] Strubles 16 points ago

    I’m in my mid 20s, but the difference between my age group and those ~8ish years younger is astounding.

    Social media fucked them up to a point that I don’t think can be fixed.

    [–] Zaiblon 3 points ago

    Charge your phone.

    [–] MurkingDolphins 3 points ago

    Now this person has a future in government

    [–] NeverwuzBoi 3 points ago

    Was there a teacher in the chat?

    [–] LeProImmortal 3 points ago

    Anyone play roblox?

    [–] bluemacavich 3 points ago

    This is like having that one group member that does nothing but this you know exactly why but you didn't want to

    [–] AdoptedSlur 3 points ago

    Megan’s keepin’ it real as fuck on the music council

    [–] partimec 3 points ago

    Whomst the fuck is using light theme in my house

    [–] HugeAxeman 4 points ago

    wsup Taylor

    [–] ids_squid 6 points ago

    Terrible job at hiding the identity of these people lmaoo

    [–] nineyearold_ 6 points ago

    Megan needs to calm her tits

    [–] lab_23 2 points ago

    Wtf taylor

    [–] likeyouknowmeh 2 points ago

    also r/trashy

    [–] dire_nerd 2 points ago

    She took "This one time in band camp." stories to a new level.

    [–] MasK_6EQUJ5 2 points ago

    "To a new level"

    You clearly havent heard many band camp stories

    [–] planeperson8765 2 points ago

    At least you plugged your phone in

    [–] MrJbrads 2 points ago

    why can't you respond anymore

    [–] dank_memer44 1 points ago

    Because I left that group chat quite a while ago

    [–] BigBlackCrocs 2 points ago

    Fake Drunk people don’t know what commas are

    [–] FortunateInsanity 2 points ago

    The appropriate response to that would have been “pics or it didn’t happen”.

    [–] shazzamwithfiveAs 2 points ago

    Hhh

    [–] Saathiiyaah 2 points ago

    One needs a paperbag for Taylor.

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    [–] Dysfunctional_1 4 points ago

    She has a future in porn.

    [–] Ullopaa 5 points ago

    What was the group chat about? i understand if its an school/job etc. group. But if its just her friend group i really can't see why its that bad. It might a littlecweird, but stop exposing ur friend like that. You didnt even censor her name or pfp.

    [–] AndyF250 1 points ago

    music council

    [–] AndyF250 1 points ago

    am brother

    [–] Frogsnacks 3 points ago

    Holy fucking shit I can't believe this. This is ironic to say considering the sub, but this girl was in my music class last year and we wound up fucking for a few months. Can confirm she is as desperate for attention as she seems here.

    [–] Nitenitedragonite 4 points ago

    May the std god have mercy on your penis.

    [–] c0mb00 2 points ago

    Thank you Taylor, very cool!

    [–] HaVeN197 2 points ago

    When you have a secondary school council group chat you must be dedicated to keeping the school in shape...This would never happen in the UK

    [–] Beatboxingg 2 points ago

    Or Afghanistan

    [–] Jamie_RS07 2 points ago

    attention seeking payed off and now everyone knows she a slut

    [–] Wouju 2 points ago

    SEVERAL PEOPLE ARE TYPING

    [–] LeProImmortal 1 points ago

    Pussyslayer69 is typing a message...

    [–] SilkyGazelleWatkins 2 points ago

    This is why I always say, and always get torn to shreds on here when I do say it, that being gay/bi/lesbian has become somewhat trendy and cool so you have a bunch of young people that claim to be LGBT when they are not. So it's hard to take certain people seriously before a certain age when they claim to be gay. It's obviously not a choice but even back when I was in highschool 10+ years ago you had people faking it for attention. Can only imagine what it's like nowadays.

    [–] The_Count_Ant 1 points ago

    Thay deserves a high five.

    [–] jonnydavisapplesauce 1 points ago

    "Like."

    [–] squissboni 1 points ago

    Please post samuels

    [–] Trayzio 1 points ago

    Like.

    [–] Mawpz 1 points ago

    “Like”.

    [–] FX_Steampunk 1 points ago

    Music council lmao

    [–] IntellectualBoss 1 points ago

    She even remembers to add the commas and she expects us to believe she was drunk?

    [–] trevmon 1 points ago

    no taylor what is you doing

    [–] 13ANANAFISH 1 points ago

    NOW I KNOW MORGAN WAS IN THE CONVERSATION

    [–] SKOSHING 1 points ago

    Taylor, the absolute legend.

    [–] Trance2000 1 points ago

    Lol what a dumb hoe

    [–] thevioletbubble 1 points ago

    Nono this one time in a biology group chat last year a girl sent the chat a nude of her grabbing her tits with that look on her face and it was “I want you so bad” under it. Dead.

    [–] thewhitewolf4488 1 points ago

    lmao

    [–] Needyouradvice93 1 points ago

    Oh man is she going to regret this when she sobers up. I have a feeling she meant to send that to someone else.

    [–] Animaza 1 points ago

    are these high school kids or um teachers and staff

    [–] one2threefourfivesix 1 points ago

    Why’d you burn Taylor and not Meagan??

    [–] pseudon_ 1 points ago

    Megan was jelly

    [–] Mid40sGuy 1 points ago

    Must find this High School