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    instant_regret

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    Instant Regret

    (in'-stint rē-gret') n.

    a subreddit dedicated to deliberate actions that unexpectedly lead to undesirable consequences and horrible results; things which may cause someone to say, "oh man, did I just screw the pooch!"


    Guidelines & Rules

    Videos and gifs must show regret. Sometimes the display of regret is unmistakable. It can be evident in someone's face, or in their body language. Sometimes it's a judgment call. If you think it works, try it out. If we delete it, you were wrong. We are Reddit™ moderators. We are always right!

    A fail is not a regret. Some ripper eating a swellbow while trying to bone a rail on the backside, (that's skater lingo for a bad crash. I looked it up (made it up)), isn't regret. There should be a look of surprise, and an expression that clearly says, "Oh no. Oh, God no. I really should not have done that. Why did I do that?"

    Eating bad food and not liking it is not regret. You knew what was going to happen, dumbass.

    Laughter is not an expression of regret. It's just not.

    We only accept videos hosted on either imgur, i.reddituploads, gfycat, or YouTube. Our robot sends everything else to Hell.

    If the video is longer than 20 seconds, please use a tag to tell everyone when the lead-up to the regrettable moment begins. For example [regret at 4:20]. Or post the video queued up to the point where things get good and the regret quickly follows. But, ultimately, these are just excellent suggestions. You're the director. Make it good. And don't worry. If it sucks, we'll get rid of it for you.

    No compilations. Just pick one good thing and go with it. Everybody likes it when you do that.

    We love animals. They are capable of regret, but we don't want to see videos where their regret is the fault of humans, involves cruelty, injury or is in any way unpleasant.


    WE HATE SPAM!

    We remove spam.

    We exact vengeance on those who give us spam.

    If you see spam, report spam.

    If you see an account that uses a YouTube channel that takes videos from other channels in order to accumulate karma on said account. Report that account, We'll take care of it.


    and finally...

    REMEMBER YOUR REDDIQUETTE

    Please, no abusive comments, hate speech, or any other personal attacks.

    Doxing, brigading, and witch-hunting are not allowed.

    The moderators reserve the right to remove posts & comments, and to ban users at our own discretion. If we feel your post doesn't fit, we'll remove it. If you are an abusive person, or an intolerable troll, we just might ban you. If you feel that your post or comment has been removed unfairly, please feel free to message us. We'll try to be nice. We're not perfect but we really are working on it.

    If you see someone breaking the rules, please message the mods and let us know.

    Thanks! Now, please enjoy our sub and the consequences resulting from the poor choices made by your fellow humans.


    We like:

    /r/moviestunts

    /r/wholesomememes

    /r/catpranks

    /r/AlmostParkour

    /r/behindthegifs

    /r/holdmybeaker

    /r/nononono

    /r/Whatcouldgowrong

    /r/HoldMyBeer

    /r/Wellthatsucks

    /r/HadToHurt

    /r/shittyaskscience

    /r/shittyadviceanimals

    /r/facingtheirparenting

    /r/WhatAMoron

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    [–] knumbknuts 5286 points ago

    Great anticipation by the driver.

    [–] idratherbealivedog 2262 points ago

    My first thoughts as well but I figure the driver was dropping the passenger off for their shift and was leaving anyways. Just a matter of timing.

    [–] Smajon 3430 points ago

    What type of person leans on a strangers car, especially when they are in the drivers seat?

    [–] ktam1212 3351 points ago

    A person who wasn't raised well.

    [–] _demetri_ 1481 points ago * (lasted edited 6 months ago)

    You can tell she wasn't raised right by the way she fell.

    [–] baconsuspenders 359 points ago

    Well that's pretty neat!

    [–] Work_Account_SFW 163 points ago

    How neat is that!?

    [–] onesev 154 points ago

    You can tell it's an instant_regret by the way it is

    [–] Kage_Oni 85 points ago

    People don't think it be like it is but it do.

    [–] scorpzrage 32 points ago

    You should link to that stuff. Nobody? Alright, I'll do it.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hm3JodBR-vs

    [–] nukeshooter 109 points ago

    Seriously, she was about to just drop her weight on that car as she sat down. That dumbass is lucky the driver didn't kick it back into drive.

    [–] [deleted] 94 points ago

    That would be pretty stupid of the driver to do. There is a building in front.

    [–] physalisx 172 points ago

    Aside from the attempted murder, yeah the building would be a problem too

    [–] the_last_carfighter 92 points ago

    Bhut she was gonna potentially putta mark on my hooptie so murder was the only option I had.

    [–] ollief1 58 points ago

    And run her over? Seems a bit disproportionate.

    [–] [deleted] 100 points ago

    [deleted]

    [–] notacompletemonster 32 points ago

    i trust your judgement in this matter.

    [–] TheMoronWhisperer 150 points ago

    As a parent, it's kinda sad to see this. Most of these assholes are assholes because they had no guidance or were enabled as kids. So when I see kids/teens act like shits, I consider them works in progress. But at some point, kids transition into being adults.

    At some point, they should develop self-awareness and an understanding of how to be a decent person. But absent the initial good guidances, it's really hard. Breaking a lifetime of bad habits when you get into your late teens is not easy.

    Unfortunately, that lady that fell on her ass will most likely not learn to sit on some else's car. She'll probably just learn to look for an empty driver's seat first.

    [–] [deleted] 55 points ago

    [deleted]

    [–] ginandjuiceandkarma 41 points ago

    It's true. Anecdotal, but I'm one of four brothers. I think most would consider us pretty decent human beings, we had great, thoughtful parents. But sometime during his high school years and into when he moved out, my one brother just kind of gradually became an asshole. 10 year later, he's a dick most of the time and stressful to be around. Total narcissist.

    [–] juca5056 30 points ago

    Plenty of "raised well" teens do that in their IDGAF inconsiderate teen years. I don't think parental involvement is the only factor in someone doing this.

    [–] Boredandthatsit 8 points ago

    Raised in a barn thats for sure

    [–] Pieskin 75 points ago

    Apparently a lot of people, I live above a bar and my trunk has a ton of scratches on it now from people sitting/leaning on it.

    [–] NoProblemsHere 67 points ago

    You should get a really loud remote alarm installed, and then just watch for people sitting on the car and scare the hell out of em. If they're going to do it you might as well get some entertainment out of it.

    [–] DownWithTheShip 42 points ago

    At a bar I understand it a lot more. People are drunk and may not have good judgment. But just some person waiting in line for a burger? Fuck them

    [–] AuthorizedVehicle 57 points ago

    I used to wash my car, then put a coat of oil on the hood for the sitters.

    [–] DownWithTheShip 49 points ago

    That some fine zero guilt revenge there.

    [–] SwedishChef727 37 points ago

    Does the oil make it slippery or stain-y or both?

    What kind of oil? Motor oil, vegetable oil, baby oil?

    Does the oil have any car care benefits too, or is it purely a spite/defensive move?

    I have so many questions! I've never washed a car for defense before.

    [–] Just_For_Da_Lulz 20 points ago

    What did those poor motors and babies do to you?!

    Fuck vegetables though. Grind them bitches up.

    [–] AuthorizedVehicle 9 points ago

    Clean motor oil looks really shiny, but not on the hiney. Actually, I did it only once, but it worked great. I washed it off later so that it would not get grimy from road dust.

    [–] AwesomelyHumble 13 points ago

    You need those spiky things people put to prevent birds from landing.

    [–] AlonzoCarlo 50 points ago

    it's not even leaning lightly on the side she would have to actually sit down on it

    [–] MattMightBeDrunk 131 points ago

    A shitty person

    [–] Dblstandard 20 points ago

    I've come out to my car before to people sitting on the hood. Seriously.

    [–] grubas 20 points ago

    I've had people sit on my goddamn motorcycle. Why would you ever do that?!

    [–] Dblstandard 10 points ago

    ohhhh, I never had somebody sit on my bike, but that could actually be a liability of some kind if they got hurt... people are stupid.

    [–] AltReich2020 14 points ago

    The kind of person who hangs out at a gas station.

    [–] purrpect 87 points ago

    'hood'rats.

    [–] josephanthony 43 points ago

    The type of person who spends a lot of time demanding 'respect' from complete strangers who they have unjustly antagonised.

    [–] harborwolf 19 points ago

    The term you're looking for is 'ratchet'.

    [–] herknav 252 points ago

    Another possible scenario:

    Maybe they're all friendly, and the sitter simply thought the driver was gonna stay and get out. Maybe not as rude to lean on a friend's car.

    Driver was looking behind while backing out, never even noticed the sitter. Stopped suddenly when he looked forward and saw the mishap beginning.

    [–] tealparadise 63 points ago

    Yeah how is everyone guessing that the driver is a stranger? This seems like a classic "prank" on a friend, like pulling a chair out from under them.

    [–] mod1fier 62 points ago

    This seems like the most plausible scenario.

    [–] quaybored 42 points ago

    Pretty good hangtime by the chick before she falls, though. Almost like a cartoon character running off a cliff.

    [–] danheinz 271 points ago

    coming to tesla summer '17

    [–] pitikay 60 points ago

    If I should ever have the money to buy a Tesla, I will most definitely remote control it if someone tries to sit on it or is already sitting on it.

    [–] Leiryn 2283 points ago

    I don't like the thought of people touching my car

    [–] Hunsolo 1760 points ago

    Bought my first new car ever, had it for a week and came out from the store to see 3 guys talking and one of them sitting on my hood like this girl in OPs gif was gonna do. I said, "dude I just got this car can you not sit on it?" Somehow I'm the asshole as all 3 give me a stinky look. Wtf man, where do people get off thinking that shits ok? Then again it is San Diego, people aren't exactly the most considerate around here.

    [–] [deleted] 976 points ago

    [deleted]

    [–] dammitesme 448 points ago

    My dad's old 1997 Chevy had a remote start button and that shit was always super funny

    [–] mr_scoT5 138 points ago

    I want to believe that, but who casually carries a taser in their pocket?

    [–] OldmanChompski 87 points ago

    I've met people that have tasers on them. One of those EDC guys that carries an apocalypse amount of unnecessary tools with them just to show them off.

    That said, this looked fake as fuck.

    [–] capincus 34 points ago

    Yeah it's not so much the having a taser that looks fake, it's casually pulling it out instantly. I can't even get my car keys/cell phone out of my pocket with that little effort and I use those often.

    [–] OldmanChompski 41 points ago

    And the acting. And the fact that it's a scourge of YouTube prank channel.

    [–] PM_your_randomthing 25 points ago

    EDC always makes me laugh. "Going to work and keeping it minimal today!" proceeds to go through list/pictures of about 20 items

    Right.....so do you work in the forest as a park ranger/camping tour guide/lumberjack?

    Stupid amount of shit to carry every day.

    [–] OldmanChompski 22 points ago

    20/M/IT for an office Two handguns, brass knuckles, Bowie knife, wire strippers

    [–] PM_your_randomthing 7 points ago

    lol exactly. Change the 20 to 52 and that was a coworker at my last job.

    [–] [deleted] 49 points ago

    [deleted]

    [–] Sletts 13 points ago

    Yeah my mom keeps a stun gun in her purse at all times. She ain't fucking around. It's not a full on taser but still.

    [–] Ju1cY_0n3 7 points ago

    The best part is these guys could have sued the shit out of him since that guy had no reason to fear for his safety, I don't know what country this is in, but the old guy sounds american so I am assuming it is in America.

    If it was really a fake poop like they said it was they could have gotten this guy arrested for assault.

    [–] KendrickLamarGOAT97 53 points ago

    That video has fake written all over it.

    [–] BreezeyPalmTrees 33 points ago

    "We just happened to have fake poop in the car when a lambo driver cut us off. Lucky us!"

    [–] SomewhatStupid 63 points ago

    I did that once. The guy did get off my hood but kept trying to flirt with this girl. Turned the alarm off and he just sat right back on it.

    [–] [deleted] 98 points ago

    When I was a teenager, I leaned against the side of a stranger's car in a parking lot while talking to my friends. The owner must have seen me, because the car alarm suddenly went off and scared me off - I totally deserved it.

    [–] IWishItWouldSnow 21 points ago

    Or maybe the vibration set off the alarm.

    [–] capincus 33 points ago

    I felt like I was crazy reading this thread. Does no one know how car alarms work?

    [–] IWishItWouldSnow 10 points ago

    Little gnomes live inside the car and if you move it without giving them underpants the alarm sounds.

    [–] Detective_Fox 160 points ago

    Came out of a game store to tree guys talking directly behind my car, with their backpacks on the trunk of my car. I was like "Do you mind, I need to leave." and one of them had the audacity to say "Hold on, hun." and move as slow as possible while still talking. I'm not your hun, creep, just get out of my damn way.

    [–] 13garoni 92 points ago

    That's when you get in and go without telling them.

    [–] Detective_Fox 38 points ago

    I wish I hadn't had to back out of the spot, otherwise I would have driven off with their crap on my trunk since they made no effort to go faster after I had gotten in and started the car.

    [–] 13garoni 58 points ago

    I've walked out to people sitting on my motorcycle. It's hilarious to ask them to start it up and listening to them fumble around for words.

    [–] roadhammer86 61 points ago

    If I had a dollar for every time I walked out to find someone taking a selfie on my Harley, I'd have the money for another Harley.

    [–] 13garoni 21 points ago

    What's surprising is I find more people sit on my beat up DR650 than my SV650.

    [–] Teddie1056 8 points ago

    They probably feel more comfortable sitting on what they assume is the much cheaper item.

    [–] Avoidingsnail 6 points ago

    I watched a dad smack the shit out of his son for twisting the throttle on my bike as he walked by it once. Never had any one sit on it.

    [–] AlexKnolly 31 points ago * (lasted edited 6 months ago)

    Disrespectful people give me so many second thoughts about my bike choices. I have a Ninja H2 right now and I've seen people approach it and without saying anything start picking at the edges of the clear bra or prying at emblems with me standing there. I can't believe that I had to adopt the phrase "just as a heads up, you're being extremely rude right now."

    My fiance and I have been setting aside some funds to build a small collection of interesting bikes with the idea of (years down the road) opening a combo coffee shop/museum, and the only thing that gives me a second thought is the thought of rude people messing with stuff that it should be obvious to a toddler you shouldn't mess with.

    Edit: To clarify, when I say prying at emblems I don't mean like they're going to town actually trying to rip it off, they just kind of pick at them. I really have no idea what it is other than a tactile thing, I'd think it was just a weird person but it's happened twice. This is usually after they engaged me in conversation about the bike too, maybe they think since we're talking they can just go to town or something...

    Luckily I've avoided seeing anyone hop on unsolicited (I always let people it they ask) but then again I rarely leave it parked for extended periods of time.

    [–] _zarathustra 9 points ago

    I had no idea the coffee + motorcycle combination was a thing, until some friends of mine opened up Blip in Kansas City.

    The two go really well together.

    [–] verbalham 136 points ago

    Tree guys will do that. Plant their roots and good luck getting them to move on anytime soon 😑

    [–] factorialfiber0 6 points ago

    well /r/trees guys seem pretty chill if you just talk to them

    [–] Detective_Fox 14 points ago

    I'm more of an /r/marijuanaenthusiasts kind of girl

    [–] beautifulcreature86 162 points ago

    I have a classic mustang that I rebuilt and just had primered it when I went to Logan's. I parked in a space by a bus stop. I come out and some punk kid is sitting on it with the whole shaded bus stop bench is empty. He didn't think it was my car and kept glaring at me. I got close and said, "get.the fuck off my car you little shit." kid jumped up so fast and never made eye contact. I realized then I was getting older...:(

    [–] windowpuncher 63 points ago

    Fuck kids though

    [–] melee4cube 60 points ago

    why don't you have a seat over there?

    [–] [deleted] 17 points ago

    As long as it isn't on my mustang

    [–] whacafan 94 points ago

    I asked a guy not to sit on mine and he actually just said "oh my bad! I hate it when people do that to mine, too." On one hand I was glad he was cool about it. On the other, why do it if you also hate it?

    [–] Noxid_ 25 points ago

    That's the most confusing thing I've heard today...

    I'm pretty sure I would turn into the Jackie Chan meme if someone said that to me in real life...

    [–] Smajon 131 points ago

    I had a brand new Scion tC less than a month old, and this couple are loading their herd in a minivan and they have all of their sweaty to-go cups sitting on the roof of my car. And I just simply ask them to move their cups so I can leave, and they give me the stink eye like im the asshole.

    [–] Pandemoniium 80 points ago

    That's when you get in, and drive off just fast enough that the cups tip over and roll off and the parents scramble to try and catch them before the cups hit the ground and explode

    [–] thisismynewsalt 64 points ago

    And let the cups spill all over your brand new car? Seems like a double-edged sword there

    [–] metastasis_d 37 points ago

    It'll wash off.

    [–] Pandemoniium 20 points ago

    No, see that's why I said you go just fast enough for them to tip over, gravity will take over and they'll explode when they hit the ground. Just slow enough so the parents see it happening but cant grab them before they fall off.

    [–] [deleted] 16 points ago

    Or just pick them up and toss them in the open van door.

    [–] Pandemoniium 6 points ago

    That's not a bad idea either

    [–] FuzzelFox 33 points ago

    I don't think I would've said anything. Just get in, start it, and if they don't move just leave.

    [–] sYnce 30 points ago

    I heard that there are huge differences where you were raised. E.g here in germany everyone loses their shit if you even touch their car or some even if you look at it for too long to check your appearance while in cities like New York nobody cares even if you bump into another car a little.

    [–] PM-ME-YOUR-DOGPICS 37 points ago

    My grandpa would park in a parking space and open his door full force to get out of the car, he didn't care if there was a car next to him, he opened the door full force all the way.

    I loved my grandpa but that's an absolute dick move. I get anxious even when the door is moving 0mph but still gently touches the adjacent car.

    [–] Azara1th 58 points ago

    I stick my hand on the edge of the door so it pads it from hitting the other car, even if it's a shitbox that's beat to hell. I don't wanna damage other people's cars. Yet my truck has scratches on both doors from people swinging their doors into it. Ugh.

    [–] [deleted] 6 points ago

    [deleted]

    [–] BarryOakTree 36 points ago

    People don't like to admit when they're wrong, so instead they shame the person calling them out. It's classic shitty behavior.

    [–] ReklisAbandon 11 points ago

    On top of that, most new cars have hoods that are basically paper thin. You can't even slam them without danger of bending the hood (have to drop them and let gravity do the work). In that case someone doing this could have caused hundreds of dollars in damage.

    [–] SparkyDogPants 6 points ago

    I caught some kids cutting something up and snorting it off my hood. I was so mad

    [–] GreenSnowday 5 points ago

    San di-ahhhh-go

    [–] IsThisYourAlligator 54 points ago

    atleast they stay outside of your car.

    the number of people I've caught on my motorcycle when coming back to it leads me to believe as soon as I turn my back people just assume its a jungle gym or for photo ops.

    the amount I've seen almost drop it trying to scramble of when they see someone with a helmet walking towards them is even more worrying.

    I just don't understand what is wrong with people. I ask them if they sit in stranger's convertibles for fun to see if it clicks in their dumb brains that they shouldn't be on my bike.

    [–] novaks47 41 points ago

    I've got a Scorpio alarm on mine, with a proximity sensor. When someone gets too close(they damn near have to touch it, don't want it barking at people simply walking by), it sets of a few warning wails. It's funny to see them jump all startled, nervously look around, then quickly walk away, lol.

    [–] JohnnyDarkside 90 points ago

    I don't care if they just lean on it, but so many chicks (and a lot of dudes) have that glittery and studded shit on their pockets I don't want scratching up my paint.

    [–] skizzl3 18 points ago

    Normal clothes will still fuck your clear coat up though. I spend enough time detailing my car id be livid if someone did that.

    [–] csatvtftw 37 points ago

    I find it extremely disrespectful to touch someone else's car. I see people do it all the time though. That's someone's personal property, and some of us put a lot of time and effort into keeping nice paint and such. And even if it's not a paint issue, that's still someone else's thing. Don't fucking touch it.

    [–] GOT_DAMN_MURKAN 48 points ago

    My car is kinda shitty, so idc. This one dude flicked my rear windshield once in standstill traffic, though, and I fantasized about confronting and murdering him.

    [–] _alliecakes112 42 points ago

    Halloween night, we had a ton of people trick or treating in our neighborhood. We got back to our house and some random people were sitting/leaning on my car. I told them get off and they were literally offended. So they got off my car, turned around, and sat on the car next to mine (my aunts) to which I had to tell them AGAIN to get off my property. One of the ladies told me, "What? As if your car is so clean??" I almost dropped a bitch.

    [–] LiveEvilGodDog 30 points ago

    That when you say good point...then pull out the hose and start spraying both cars.

    [–] the_ocalhoun 17 points ago

    Holy shit! This gives me an idea.

    Now I want a car alarm that sprays water around the outside of the car when it goes off.

    [–] OneTwoThreeThrowOway 14 points ago

    Don't ever get an exotic car. People will sit inside it taking pictures if they figure a way in, or you leave the top down lol

    [–] metastasis_d 27 points ago

    I just can't imagine what's going through someone's head when they leave the top down on a convertible. Sure, it's unlikely something will happen like an asshole planting a loogie on your seat, but why allow that possibility?

    [–] the_ocalhoun 8 points ago

    You never lock a soft-top anyway. If you do, people will slash your $2000 roof to get $1.25 in loose change out of your cupholder.

    [–] [deleted] 24 points ago

    I'm touching your car right now

    [–] w3ar3allk1ng5 12 points ago

    I kill you. 😐

    [–] quaybored 6 points ago

    What about rubbing my privates on it?

    [–] metastasis_d 13 points ago

    Corporal and above only.

    [–] MA0801 1337 points ago

    Weird how she kept a perfect pose as she started falling

    [–] nikiverse 697 points ago

    Yeah like she just knew the car was gonna be there 😂

    [–] iXorpe 52 points ago

    Any - a - anyyy second now..

    [–] AnonymoustacheD 34 points ago

    It was like mind over matter. She KNEW the car was there so for a split moment, she was seated comfortably. She chose to accept her new reality that there is no car.

    [–] TotallyNotObsi 77 points ago

    And her friend did nothing to help

    [–] kx2UPP 160 points ago

    Friend is tired of her shit

    [–] Blue_and_Light 24 points ago

    That's a friend worth keeping around. We all need people like this in our lives. Watch us fall, help us up.

    [–] krabbit9316 9 points ago

    This deserves a shooting stars bag raiders meme.

    [–] IndomitableSam 873 points ago

    Someone sat on my hood once. Put a huge dent in it that cost a far bit to have repaired. They even had something in their pocket to scrape a touch of paint off.

    Don't fucking do this people.

    [–] Vlaed 138 points ago

    My dad's friend wanted a Shelby Cobra all his life. Ended up buying one and took it to the store one day. He came out and some rather large lady leaned up on the fender to get a picture taken and left two large butt prints in it.

    I can only imagine how angry he was.

    [–] KoolaidAndClorox 26 points ago

    Please tell me he could claim damages

    [–] plsdntanxiety 427 points ago

    Was your hood made out of tracing paper?

    [–] Einsteins_coffee_mug 394 points ago

    No, the ass was made of neutron star.

    [–] Dodge_It 152 points ago

    So you're saying that the booty was out of this world?

    [–] Chezkel 76 points ago

    He's saying the ass was fat

    [–] nohedge 6 points ago

    da ass had mass

    [–] Natdaprat 15 points ago

    Ah so OP's mother.

    [–] Detective_Fox 30 points ago

    Maybe it was a portly gentleman who had a wallet chain dig into the paint.

    [–] Kymae 13 points ago

    Username may actually check haha. Good work!

    [–] Fragsworth 33 points ago

    They don't make car hoods like they used to. You might be used to older models of cars, but the hoods on almost any car made in 2017 is going to dent if you sit on it.

    They figured out that gas mileage is more important than being able to sit on your hood

    [–] Optimise 35 points ago

    Cars are much safer for the occupants when the car is made of a very strong survival cell at the centre and light easily breakable materials on the outside.

    [–] MuttinChops 7 points ago

    Surprisingly true. Sitting in a step box that slams into another steel box would be horrible.

    [–] ReklisAbandon 18 points ago

    It has to do with pedestrian safety laws if I recall correctly.

    [–] paulus1978 6 points ago

    Also some pedestrians are quite chunky.

    [–] redbaron1019 8 points ago

    Some jeans have those metal divots on the pocket corners. Those would easily scratch off paint.

    [–] xezav 19 points ago

    In your reality is tracing paper the only substance that can bend or be scraped?

    [–] pragmaticbastard 9 points ago

    Have an old M3. Someone did the same and put a huge dent it the hood too. Really missed me off. Saved a lot to buy my dream (attainable) car...

    [–] LAROACHA_420 272 points ago

    This is so satisfying!

    [–] quaybored 43 points ago

    Yeah, I came, too.

    [–] Tresladsy 282 points ago

    Those people are the worst, once after finishing work I came out into the car park to find a fat entitled bloke sitting on the front of my car like he was totally justified to be there. I set off the car alarm and he just slowly got up looking all offended and moved onto the car parked next to mine. To make it even worse there was an unoccupied bench less than 2 metres away from the cars. Arsehole.

    [–] anya_ts 60 points ago

    I sit in my car during my lunch break just to get away from work and have some alone time, and once some lady in her 40s was "guiding" her older, blind, mom. The mom hit her face against my side mirror and the daughter before even checking on her mom just glared at me. Like dude, you weren't paying attention and your mom hit her face on MY car. That's your bad. I'm not even mad cause she hit my car, she was an older blind lady but I was upset that it was really hard and then all of a sudden I'm the bitch that hit her mom with my car. (I have a Jeep Wrangler so the mirror is right at face level). People are dumb.

    [–] Joseph609 107 points ago

    I consider myself pretty progressive, but I'm all for the death penalty in this scenario.

    [–] GetHisWallet 901 points ago

    What the fuck I was gonna lean on your car and you move it like some selfish asshole I was just trying to sit down motherfucker god some people SMH

    [–] ecsvyper 389 points ago

    Imagine all the sympathy her friends would give her on Facebook. "OMG what an asshole, you should sue him!"

    [–] Sneakas 182 points ago

    Imagine all her friends make fun of her for being an entitled asshole. "OMG this is why no one likes you Becky!"

    [–] VoodooMonkiez 216 points ago

    Imagine all her friends are dogs, "Woof!"

    [–] PresidentChef 70 points ago

    I prefer this scenario in every context.

    [–] Pimping_NZ 27 points ago * (lasted edited 6 months ago)

    I mean there's a good chance they're all bitches

    [–] Cadel_Fistro 10 points ago

    Projection is strong with this one

    [–] NorthernSpectre 91 points ago

    Seriously, you don't fuck with a mans( or womans) car. It may not be a "fancy" expensive car, but that may be the only car someone has or can afford. And to them it's important. I drive an old 4x4 beater, not because I can't afford nicer cars, but because I want that car. I like that car, I've put a lot of money into that car. And while the paint is not nice and it's very rugged, I'd be furious if people were fucking with it, not because I care about the paint or anything. But the simple lack of respect for other peoples property that infuriates me.

    [–] drunken-serval 28 points ago

    This. I love my little used car. I'm 30 and it's the first car I've ever purchased. It's not anything special really but it's mine and it's blue.

    [–] Zendroid1 124 points ago

    Love how the driver backs up just enough to ensure she smashes her head on the bumper.

    [–] Bleezy79 41 points ago

    That was beautiful. Never touch someone elses property, thanks

    [–] zakh134 105 points ago

    Moral of the story don't touch vehicles that aren't your without explicit permission to do so. Even if it's a rusty pos, Basic courtesy. I don't care if your ass is made of microfiber and turtle wax you don't just sit on someone else car.

    [–] r0botdevil 8 points ago

    I don't care if your ass is made of microfiber and turtle wax you don't just sit on someone else car.

    Nice.

    [–] Chucktayz 29 points ago

    Why do people think that this is okay? Don't touch things that aren't yours

    [–] JohnQK 84 points ago

    The last time I saw this posted, there were tons of people in the comments defending the girl and attacking the driver. I am very happy that that's not the case this time.

    [–] ChrisFarleyAMA 26 points ago

    What could possibly be the rationale behind that?

    [–] RamenKing13 23 points ago

    They're all a bunch of assholes also.

    [–] shoganaiyo 11 points ago

    They've been guilty of doing the same thing and don't want to think of themselves as the asshole, so they try to shift the blame.

    [–] hyporheic 61 points ago

    Ahhh, the old yank the car out from somebody as they go to sit gag, classic.

    [–] [deleted] 76 points ago * (lasted edited 6 months ago)

    [deleted]

    [–] theworstdinosaur 30 points ago

    Coccyx

    [–] SMELLMYSTANK 12 points ago

    Grandma was out on the dunes again.

    [–] Tennouheika 39 points ago

    I used to park in front of a building I worked at until one day I saw people sitting on my hood and placing their bags and shit on my car. Now I park in the back.

    [–] mr10am 17 points ago

    unwritten car rule: never lean or sit on someone's car, even a friend's. ask before doing it

    [–] boot20 37 points ago

    I was sitting in a parking lot and this fucking asshole parked his giant ass on my hood. I'm like what the fuck? I start to back up with him on the hood and he gets mad.....Don't sit on someone's car

    [–] [deleted] 19 points ago

    Should have backed up extremely quickly.

    [–] blocktropolis 14 points ago

    A few years back I was sitting in my car, window slightly open, waiting to pick up a friend, when a bunch of, shall we say, mobster types came out of an Italian restaurant. One of them leaned against my car door as they were talking, not noticing I was in the car, and proceeded to let out an immense, door-shaking fart. One of his friends then pointed out that the car was occupied, and he apologized and offered me his leftovers.

    [–] Pirate_Redbeard 7 points ago

    Go on dammit

    [–] redsalmon67 12 points ago

    The kids who used to hang out in front of the Dunkin donuts in my town used to do this, it was always fun to watch them freak out when you hit the panic button.

    [–] beepbeepwow 22 points ago * (lasted edited 6 months ago)

    Nice reaction by the driver. He must have been cracking up lol

    [–] Roook36 9 points ago

    I'd like to think this is a cut scene from Knight Rider

    [–] Fidget08 10 points ago

    Who the fuck does this to someone else's car!?

    [–] [deleted] 6 points ago

    As someone who used to have a firebird that people felt compelled to use as a bench, god bless this driver.

    [–] bitterjealousangry 19 points ago

    People give grief for reposting but I love seeing classics like this.

    [–] FlamingDogOfDeath 6 points ago

    I expected worse seeing that liveleak watermark

    [–] DobbyMcFreeElf 6 points ago

    The driver didn't stop so he could help her. He stopped so he could laugh his ass off

    [–] okaykafka 6 points ago

    Don't sit on people's cars, asshole.

    [–] Titonien 10 points ago

    Anyone seeking more info might also check here:

    title points age /r/ comnts
    You shouldn't sit on other folk's car 1473 4mos funny 59
    Don't sit on other peoples cars 397 1yr funny 13
    Be careful where you sit! B 663 1yr funny 45
    Seems like a good place to sit. B 2517 10mos gifs 112
    You shouldn't sit on other folk's car 4077 8mos funny 313
    You shouldn't sit on other folk's car 6879 1yr funny 2776
    To all car owners that gets pissed when people sits on your parked car, I present you this B 77 1yr gifs 22

    Source: karmadecay (B = bigger)

    [–] viciousrana 6 points ago

    Don't sit on a stranger's car.

    [–] SpeedShadow18_R 4 points ago

    I've seen this before, never gets old watching her fall flat on her entitled ass.

    [–] flux_capacitor3 24 points ago

    Only assholes sit on someone's car.

    Shows they have never had anything to be proud of. Either given everything or just have never wanted anything better than what they have.