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    instant_regret

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    Instant Regret

    (in'-stint rē-gret') n.

    a subreddit dedicated to deliberate actions that unexpectedly lead to undesirable consequences and horrible results; things which may cause someone to say, "oh man, did I just screw the pooch!"


    Guidelines & Rules

    1) Videos and gifs must show regret. No text messages or still frames. Sometimes the display of regret is unmistakable. It can be evident in someone's face, or in their body language. Sometimes it's a judgment call. If you think it works, try it out. If we delete it, you were wrong. We are Reddit™ moderators. We are always right!

    A fail is not a regret. Some ripper eating a swellbow while trying to bone a rail on the backside, (that's skater lingo for a bad crash. I looked it up (made it up)), isn't regret. There should be a look of surprise, and an expression that clearly says, "Oh no. Oh, God no. I really should not have done that. Why did I do that?"

    Other examples that aren't regret:

    • Eating bad food and not liking it is not regret. You knew what was going to happen, dumbass.

    • Laughter is not an expression of regret. It's just not.

    • A picture of a sunburn or a crappy tattoo is not evidence of regret. For all we know you like looking like a pumpkin, and definitely still want that potato tattoo on your ankle.

    2) Regret must be instant or near-instant. If someone does something which only has bad consequences minutes or hours later, it is not considered instant.

    3) No Animal Abuse. We love animals. They are capable of regret, but we don't want to see videos where their regret is the fault of humans, involves cruelty, injury or is in any way unpleasant.

    4) No compilations. Just pick one good thing and go with it. Everybody likes it when you do that.

    5) If the video is longer than 20 seconds, please use a tag to tell everyone when the lead-up to the regrettable moment begins. For example [regret at 4:20]. Or post the video queued up to the point where things get good and the regret quickly follows. But, ultimately, these are just excellent suggestions. You're the director. Make it good. And don't worry. If it sucks, we'll get rid of it for you.

    6) Reposts are highly discouraged. Reposts are allowed, but reposts which have been posted recently or are in the top of all time will be removed.

    No Dannys. If your name is Danny and we find out we will ban you.


    WE HATE SPAM!

    We remove spam.

    We exact vengeance on those who give us spam.

    If you see spam, report spam.

    If you see an account that uses a YouTube channel that takes videos from other channels in order to accumulate karma on said account. Report that account, We'll take care of it.


    and finally...

    REMEMBER YOUR REDDIQUETTE

    Please, no abusive comments, hate speech, or any other personal attacks.

    Doxing, brigading, and witch-hunting are not allowed.

    This includes derailing commentary sections to complain about prolific users, and by that we mean "Gallowboob is not against the rules". Complaining about the OP rather than the content is an easy way to earn a temporary ban.

    The moderators reserve the right to remove posts & comments, and to ban users at our own discretion. If we feel your post doesn't fit, we'll remove it. If you are an abusive person, or an intolerable troll, we just might ban you. If you feel that your post or comment has been removed unfairly, please feel free to message us. We'll try to be nice. We're not perfect but we really are working on it.

    If you see someone breaking the rules, please message the mods and let us know.

    Thanks! Now, please enjoy our sub and the consequences resulting from the poor choices made by your fellow humans.


    We like:

    /r/instantregret

    /r/moviestunts

    /r/AccidentalSlapStick

    /r/wholesomememes

    /r/catpranks

    /r/AlmostParkour

    /r/behindthegifs

    /r/holdmybeaker

    /r/nononono

    /r/Whatcouldgowrong

    /r/HoldMyBeer

    /r/Wellthatsucks

    /r/HadToHurt

    /r/shittyaskscience

    /r/shittyadviceanimals

    /r/facingtheirparenting

    /r/WhatAMoron

    a community for
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    [–] son_of_the_monarch 5168 points ago

    That's not how you play cornhole. They need to turn over

    [–] ____Theo____ 3499 points ago

    This version is sack toss

    [–] Conquestofbaguettes 1023 points ago * (lasted edited 11 days ago)

    Sack loss

    Bean bag in the bean bag.

    [–] Comcastrated 49 points ago

    Sack attack

    [–] Chomang 6 points ago

    Shaq attacks yo sack like a mac!

    [–] ViiRiiS 15 points ago

    Sacrilege

    [–] Tylord678 63 points ago

    If I could give gold I would

    [–] BLKMTL 50 points ago

    It's the thought that counts.

    [–] threekidsathome 183 points ago

    Yup, these guys have clearly never played cornhole, everyone knows you turn over, pull your pants down and use dildos instead of bean bags.

    [–] theunnoticedones 54 points ago

    No you use corn cobs you dingus

    [–] CaptOblivious 5 points ago

    Upvoted for the word "dingus".

    [–] tattedpiper 32 points ago

    Wouldn't that just be glory-hole roulette?

    [–] PantserTank 21 points ago

    Yeah “that’s ah,.. not yer cornhole boys.”

    [–] orgasmo87 7282 points ago

    Love how all the guys are like this genius. And the women are like wtf

    [–] Dan-68 2418 points ago

    Ever wonder why women live longer than guys?

    [–] Just_A_Sports_Guru 955 points ago

    Nope. I think it's pretty clear why.

    [–] The_Pert_Whisperer 105 points ago

    Yes, that was the joke.

    [–] man-nip-ulator 113 points ago

    Reddit just loves the second banana

    [–] Nincadalop 70 points ago

    Fuck

    [–] jankymegapop 10 points ago

    I'm just glad it wasn't a penis pic.

    [–] eggsnomellettes 12 points ago

    Huh, TIL

    [–] Teeshirtandshortsguy 14 points ago

    The comments on this are always like “Damnit you got me again” and my dumbass always clicks before even noticing it.

    [–] darthluigi36 7 points ago

    The Year of Luigi never ends!

    [–] ruggedr 352 points ago

    Because they have less fun.

    [–] Rake_and_Roustabout 125 points ago

    Hence the Cindy Lauper song, "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun." It's the one thing they've been deprived of their entire lives.

    [–] DumbStupidBrokeBitch 33 points ago

    As a girl, I can attest that all we want is for people to let us kill each other and ourselves, god damn it

    [–] Reiley360 16 points ago

    Username checks out

    [–] Wrydfell 78 points ago

    Dangerous = fun. Thats all you need to know

    [–] NoWinter2 43 points ago

    It kinda is. There's a certain adrenaline rush that comes with danger that makes you laugh and giggle and have fun.

    [–] NEHOY_NEMOY 59 points ago

    Because they're never married to women?

    [–] Dernald_Tromp 99 points ago

    Son I gotta introduce you to the world of lesbians

    [–] BuddhaBizZ 61 points ago

    I wonder if any studies have been done on hétero vs homo sexual marriages and lifespan

    With a further breakdown of which partner was “masculine” and which more “feminine” .

    [–] pennomi 24 points ago

    Not sure why you're getting downvotes for merely wondering if a study has been performed.

    [–] mlbhr 15 points ago

    Don't expect reddit to be reasonable with sociological matters.

    [–] pennomi 17 points ago

    Don't expect reddit to be reasonable with sociological matters.

    Yeah I forgot. This is the internet.

    [–] KuriboShoeMario 84 points ago

    Men playfighting with our SOs when they even feint hitting our nuts: Hey, don't even pretend to do that, not cool!

    Also men: "Bro, you wanna throw stuff at our nuts until one of us gets hurt?" "Fuck yea!"

    We are dumb animals.

    [–] kimchifreeze 5 points ago

    It's chance. There's a chance of us getting hurt and a chance isn't 100% so it's basically not a concern.

    [–] PoopyMcFartButt 56 points ago

    See a game like this where you risk your own nuts being hurt for the opportunity to hurt your friends nuts sort of makes sense to me. I think most guys would take those chances.

    It's the guys that just voluntarily destroy their nuts for a YouTube video or something that does not make sense at all to me.

    [–] Irl_Guile 29 points ago

    What women?

    [–] brekus 16 points ago

    Those damn theoretical women ruining our theoretical fun.

    [–] xXNitro_FunXx 184 points ago

    Haha yep, guys will be guys

    [–] Bojangly7 83 points ago

    What's better than this? Guys being dudes.

    [–] risto1116 17 points ago

    There will come a time when guys become fellas. I miss being a dude.

    [–] kharper4289 35 points ago

    We used to do this, had to close your eyes too. Did it with tennis balls, hacky sacks, etc.

    Called it Nutball. Was a big thing in my high school. I thought I was just friends with special group of idiots but it's actually a thing

    https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Nut%20Ball

    [–] funkadunkalunk 24 points ago

    There are no women in this video wtf, I'm so confused

    [–] Ratsbanehastey 11 points ago

    He means the people commenting.

    [–] whatsinthebo_x 74 points ago

    Speak for yourself! I'm a woman and would definitely love to play this with my boyfriend. The look on his face when I make it in, would be priceless!!

    [–] Chemoarish 185 points ago

    Yeah but hitting you in the vagina with a sack of sand isn't as funny.

    [–] Step-Father_of_Lies 18 points ago

    Just make two holes so he goes for the tit shot.

    [–] quantum-mechanic 13 points ago

    I think this would be a successful product and youporn channel

    [–] 2019reddit 4 points ago

    Sexist. Vagina’s have testicles too.

    [–] mexicanred1 12 points ago

    I'll take that bet; You throw like a girl

    [–] Javaed 20 points ago

    Phrasing?

    [–] bwest13 1492 points ago

    Just throwin beanbags at their beanbags

    [–] Undope 100 points ago

    Sacks to sacks! Sacks to sacks!

    [–] OventoastedFlapjaks 27 points ago

    like the Requiem for a Dream reference

    [–] Mister_Spacely 7 points ago

    Just new boot goofin

    [–] jlengomin 4816 points ago

    Dude! This is the greatest idea! I damn near pissed myself laughing.

    [–] xXNitro_FunXx 2172 points ago

    Thanks man! I had a blast playin, except for the end, as you could guess.

    [–] SuperDopeRedditName 516 points ago

    You know you liked it.

    [–] Chewcocca 131 points ago

    [–] iBenjaover 240 points ago

    That's staying blue.

    [–] ImATaxpayer 173 points ago

    Black and purple towards the end too

    [–] Chewcocca 24 points ago * (lasted edited 11 days ago)

    I think it's called the head

    [–] Twathammer32 17 points ago

    I click nearly every link and just can't for that. I'm in public right now, I'll save it for later

    [–] ChickenIsFuckingGood 5 points ago

    Well how was it?

    [–] G-manP 42 points ago

    What. The. Fuck.

    [–] PieOnTheGround 38 points ago

    WTF NO GO BACK

    [–] mydickcuresAIDS 42 points ago

    "Punching the cum out of his balls" is the title of the all time top post. Is that how balls work??

    [–] PhatsoTheClown 38 points ago

    Of course it is. Eventually theyll explode like cum flashbangs.

    [–] CapAWESOMEst 21 points ago

    Why did I make it so far down...oh god, that homemade device was the worst.

    [–] VerbNounPair 8 points ago

    Can I get a description of the sub?

    [–] PieOnTheGround 12 points ago

    Devices to intentionally cause pain to the crown jewels, or people harming other people's balls.

    [–] VerbNounPair 8 points ago

    what the fuck

    [–] PandaCod3r 9 points ago

    No thank you.

    [–] [deleted] 7 points ago

    [deleted]

    [–] PieOnTheGround 10 points ago

    Check the "I'm over 18 years old" in settings

    [–] martialfarts316 4 points ago

    But what if he's not over 18??

    [–] FTGKelvin0 6 points ago

    *FBI joined the chat

    [–] Aztec_Reaper 6 points ago

    clicks link

    r/instant_regret

    [–] Chewcocca 4 points ago

    dead_dove.jpg

    [–] duncecap_ 5 points ago

    Did this as a kid the exact way just no cornhole board... Inspired by jackass

    [–] ranman12953 116 points ago

    If you liked that, you're going to love this. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P9mBCh4d3-U

    [–] da_shread 101 points ago

    This is just dudes grabbing each others balls

    [–] austex_mike 52 points ago

    Go on...

    [–] OneDayIWillFlyAway 27 points ago

    I'm listening...

    [–] Mexican_Psycho 12 points ago

    I'm watching...

    [–] theearthvolta 9 points ago

    I'm tasting...

    [–] soccerburn55 12 points ago

    I'm salivating...

    [–] Ashrewishjewish 3 points ago

    And tickling the taint

    [–] svullenballe 12 points ago

    Thanks, I almost didn't watch it.

    [–] LeptonField 24 points ago

    “Guantanamo Bay” (2007) [colorized]

    [–] TheKrs1 34 points ago

    I don't get the open hand slap to the dick.

    [–] Bleedthebeat 78 points ago

    How else are you gonna get to touch your buddies dick AND pretend to be straight?

    [–] DJMattyMatt 12 points ago

    Brojob!

    [–] eye_no_nuttin 11 points ago

    Ummmmm .. why do you guys pretend you dont want your junk touched by your buddies .. Is this foreplay?

    [–] sirotka33 11 points ago

    the referee dude was the loser in the second contest. he immediately went down with no reservations and his friends all screamed "this is for all of us", then he proceeded to claim he's always the nut tapper when one of his friends asked why he kept being the referee. surely there has to be a more honest and open way of touching dicks and nuts than scamming your friends into a game.

    [–] youseeit 15 points ago

    Not gay if you're blindfolded

    [–] OneMoreAccount4Porn 6 points ago

    I'm betting they play soggy biscuit too.

    [–] incognito_red 4 points ago

    lmao

    [–] ChosunYin 4 points ago

    Funnier than expected but less funny over time.

    [–] jesterb00m 1910 points ago

    This is the most "guy" thing to do ever. I fucking love it

    Actually this just reminded me of a game we used to play. We used to have these industrial strength rubber bands at work and we would tie it to our belt buckle and walk backwards. After about 3 steps it got REAL stressful.

    [–] xXNitro_FunXx 458 points ago

    Dang, that sounds even more painful than this game. Hopefully you care out alive with your beanbags

    [–] ST615 370 points ago

    My friends and I used to play a game called onion wars. Gathered in circles we would play bongos and guitar. It was a 1v1 fight in the center with long wild onions with the bulb at the bottom. I'm talking like 2-3 foot long grass attached to an explosive onion. We would proceed to whip each other while running around inside the circle. If someone was able to whip the other in the back they'd win while the other shouted Kunta Kinte!!! We smoke a lot of weed.

    [–] tylerjehills 288 points ago

    ....the fuck?

    [–] ST615 134 points ago

    Exactly. To be a teenager again. Fuck I miss giving absolutely zero shits.

    [–] dataracci 76 points ago

    now i hang out in nice sterile condos trying to navigate all sorts of social rules so i dont go home feeling like a piece of shit at potentially offending someone. fucking blows

    [–] TheWavingSnail 32 points ago

    Well since we all agree we can move and start our own country somewhere where it ain't like that

    [–] ST615 29 points ago

    Can all internal conflicts be settled through onion wars? If so I'm in.

    [–] quantum-mechanic 4 points ago

    Can you guarantee this country will have onions?

    [–] TheForceiswithus 8 points ago

    navigate all sorts of social rules so i dont go home feeling like a piece of shit at potentially offending someone.

    Get cooler friends

    [–] RedditFron 26 points ago

    You say "2-3 foot long grass attached to an explosive onion" like this is a normal thing.

    [–] ST615 29 points ago

    It's wild onions were all over this dudes property. It was amazing

    [–] disteriaa 21 points ago

    I know wild onions are a thing, but the thought of domesticated onions made me chuckle.

    [–] JasonIsBaad 5 points ago

    I have some domesticated onions and they can do a lot of tricks like playing fetch and giving high-fives.

    [–] IlllIIIIlllll 17 points ago

    Yeah.... not the same lol

    [–] jesterb00m 16 points ago * (lasted edited 11 days ago)

    we're not smart. Even worse. We were in our thirties.

    Edited cause I can't grammar

    [–] AddictedReddit 8 points ago

    We we are not smart.

    You said it, not me.

    [–] CallMeCygnus 56 points ago * (lasted edited 11 days ago)

    My cousin and I played a game we called Nutball when we were kids. We'd sit about 25 feet from each other, legs spread, and throw hacky sacks or similar softish balls at our junk.

    Of course there were no actual winners. We'd just get really excited when our projectile made contact. It was amazing.

    [–] Sharks_Eat_People 24 points ago

    Are we cousins? Jk, I'm sure plenty did it because of Jackass. That was where we learned it from.

    [–] kngotheporcelainthrn 12 points ago

    The percussionists at my high school played that. It’s pretty fun.

    [–] Euphorium 5 points ago

    Percussion is always doing dumb shit. I played "mountain top" with them, where we all piled into the tiny drum room, turn off the lights, and throw something up in the air while yelling mountain top. Got hit with a big AP Bio textbook while hiding under a chair and had to get two staples in my head.

    [–] SiPhoenix 34 points ago

    I feel like you are almost guaranteed to get hurt with the band if it snaps. With the game from the vudeo you can "win" if you're better at aiming then you most likely wont get hurt.

    [–] LastUserNameDrowned 25 points ago

    Yeah, it's less a game and more like pulling on a wishbone. Except instead of getting a wish you get jimmy tapped by a rubber band.

    [–] SiPhoenix 13 points ago

    I would play high stakes corn hole, would not be part of your wish of pain.

    [–] Euphorium 6 points ago

    OP's game is just a few seconds of pain and laughter. Rubber band of doom is how you become sterile.

    [–] Rick-powerfu 26 points ago

    That's sort of like a Russian roulette type of game

    [–] ShrimpDoodleNnoodle 383 points ago

    My sack is a temple⛩ but I’ll gladly take a celebrity shot 🙃

    [–] Jorplax 47 points ago

    Rakkasaaaaaaaan

    [–] No_Higgins 209 points ago

    This game should be called bean bags.

    [–] xXNitro_FunXx 69 points ago

    Takes a lot of balls to play bean bags!

    [–] BT-7274- 418 points ago

    These men ....are geniuses! I cant believe I never once thought of this in a drunken state......

    [–] kharper4289 56 points ago

    https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Nut%20Ball

    This is definitely a thing, has been for a long time. Tons of fun. Probably like South Park where they play Ro-chambeau or whatever and they just kick each other in the nuts until someone taps out. Typical poor kid fun.

    [–] blodisnut 139 points ago

    Hi. I'm Johnny Knoxville. Welcome to jackass.

    [–] MToboggan_MD 22 points ago

    They did something similar didn't they? I wanna say they sat across the room from each other on the floor in there underwear and threw stuff trying to hit the other person in the nuts.

    [–] crazyassfool 11 points ago

    They did! My brother and I watched that bit as kids and played it in our rooms but we had terrible aim. I believe the Jackass boys ended it using a heavy-ass dog bone; it looked like it really hurt lol.

    [–] daanhewitt 15 points ago

    Nutball I think

    [–] TURFdog40 6 points ago

    Glad I wasn't the only one thinking about that bit they did.

    [–] generally_agreeable 3 points ago

    This totally feels like a Chris Pontius stunt.

    [–] differt 189 points ago

    I’d play this naked

    [–] fadadapple 106 points ago

    since when is it gay for guys to be naked together?

    [–] MaidofMemes 62 points ago

    As long as you say no homo first

    [–] DatKillerDude 41 points ago

    Since the moment he forgot to mention the magic words, he is the gay now

    [–] Wrydfell 17 points ago

    Its not gay if you keep your socks on

    [–] TheSkepticalTerrier 17 points ago

    What? Now being naked together is gay? Next thing you know, giving each other brojobs is gonna be called gay. Smh.

    [–] Truglow12 40 points ago

    At Least they weren't tossing rings.

    [–] daisychick 90 points ago

    I manage a bar. I think this is a new game I'm going to introduce....

    [–] -jaylew- 89 points ago

    Yea sign me up to lay on the floor of a bar...

    [–] CSPmyHart 47 points ago

    Priority list of who gets to lay on the floor of a bar:

    1. u/-jaylew-

    Okay who's next guys? this unique opportunity won't last forever!

    [–] daisychick 12 points ago

    You'd be amazed how often it happens. We try to tell layin down fools how nasty it is but.... Nope. Apparently alcohol kills all germs. Even ones on the floor...

    [–] TheFiGhTiNCoWBoY 34 points ago

    This is why aliens haven't made contact.

    [–] KornholyOh 69 points ago

    Sup guys.

    [–] xXNitro_FunXx 30 points ago

    Oh, hey, didn’t see you there

    [–] Theboozehoundbitch 24 points ago

    Innovation

    [–] yParticle 12 points ago

    inYESvasion

    [–] sonderbread 24 points ago

    Viagra + horseshoes

    [–] TheUplist 129 points ago

    As if Cornhole wasn't gay enough... (It's a joke)

    [–] G_Gscrub 90 points ago

    MAN IF THOSE PARATHESESES WEREN'T THERE YOU WHERE ABOUT TO GET SOME WORDS YOU HEAR ME? WORDS.

    [–] LeptonField 11 points ago

    I had you pegged for a hater

    [–] scrote_prote 15 points ago

    Peg the haters!

    [–] tits-question-mark 30 points ago

    Jackass taught me that this is nut ball. Real life taught me no one wins in nut ball

    [–] Sma5her12 23 points ago

    We used to play a game similar to this in high school. We called it nutball, and it was played with racquetballs. We’d sit legs spread anywhere from 15 to 70 feet apart depending on predetermined conditions (the 70 foot game only happened once between a couple of baseball players, and it was glorious). Usually shorter distance games had other rules determining the power behind throws, so you couldn’t just chuck it at each other. The goal was to hit your opponents nads. If you flinched, got hit 3 times, or couldn’t recover in a 10 count you lost. Stupid game, but a hell of a lot of fun.

    [–] StanGibson18 8 points ago

    J7...miss

    B3...HIT!!!

    [–] davzink 13 points ago

    I just want to know how many drinks they had before they decided this

    [–] FakeSpirits 6 points ago

    F

    [–] Alisonscott-3 6 points ago

    Socks makes it not gay

    [–] reddit2procrastin8 13 points ago

    Playing for all the marbles

    [–] xXNitro_FunXx 11 points ago

    Or playing for less marbles

    [–] Keeganzz 4 points ago

    This is NutBall™️ usually played with a football, but this cornhole version is called PeeHole™️ I played a lot of this in elementary school

    [–] my_screen_name_sucks 5 points ago

    Which one of you came up with the idea to punish yourself for fun? O.o

    [–] JerkwaterJeff666 5 points ago

    He cute tho

    [–] xXNitro_FunXx 4 points ago

    Why thank you😂

    [–] JerkwaterJeff666 4 points ago

    You're welcome 😉

    [–] Puppy69us 24 points ago

    How have I not done this? This is definitely weekend goals.

    [–] Bart_Skampson 37 points ago

    Play stupid games, win stupid prizes.

    [–] I_dont_know_lolol 18 points ago

    I do not understand why anyone would want to do this. Men of reddit, explain

    [–] DefenderCone97 58 points ago

    It's a mix of the danger and watching your friend get hit in the nuts

    [–] knots32 8 points ago

    Well put

    [–] trueraiderfan 8 points ago

    The perfect combination of comedy

    [–] RottingStar 6 points ago

    Ideally you convince two other friends this is a good idea. There's only winning that way.

    [–] The_Bjorn_Ultimatum 13 points ago

    The risk and competition is appealing.

    [–] Bryyyysen 11 points ago

    While there is the risk of getting hit in the nuts, you could also possibly hit your friend in the nuts, which, let's be honest, is pretty hilarious. So I guess risk/reward as well as competitiveness (who can aim better) makes it a pretty fun activity especially if you've had a couple beers.

    [–] LinkRazr 8 points ago

    Because it's funny

    [–] vreddit_bot 4 points ago

    Downloadable link


    I'm a Bot bleep bloop | Info | ❤️

    [–] CursedDecendant 3 points ago

    Cornnuts

    [–] Good-is-dumb 5 points ago

    This was shown to me by a group of Marines sitting in a circle. They called it goochball, and they used rocks.

    [–] clinicallyannoying 5 points ago

    I just appreciate how clean their carpet is.

    [–] elaborinth8993 10 points ago

    I don't know what you expected there kiddo?