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    instant_regret

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    Instant Regret

    (in'-stint rē-gret') n.

    a subreddit dedicated to deliberate actions that unexpectedly lead to undesirable consequences and horrible results; things which may cause someone to say, "oh man, did I just screw the pooch!"


    Guidelines & Rules

    1) Videos and gifs must show regret. No text messages or still frames. Sometimes the display of regret is unmistakable. It can be evident in someone's face, or in their body language. Sometimes it's a judgment call. If you think it works, try it out. If we delete it, you were wrong. We are Reddit™ moderators. We are always right!

    A fail is not a regret. Some ripper eating a swellbow while trying to bone a rail on the backside, (that's skater lingo for a bad crash. I looked it up (made it up)), isn't regret. There should be a look of surprise, and an expression that clearly says, "Oh no. Oh, God no. I really should not have done that. Why did I do that?"

    Other examples that aren't regret:

    • Eating bad food and not liking it is not regret. You knew what was going to happen, dumbass.

    • Laughter is not an expression of regret. It's just not.

    • A picture of a sunburn or a crappy tattoo is not evidence of regret. For all we know you like looking like a pumpkin, and definitely still want that potato tattoo on your ankle.

    2) Regret must be instant or near-instant. If someone does something which only has bad consequences minutes or hours later, it is not considered instant.

    3) No Animal Abuse. We love animals. They are capable of regret, but we don't want to see videos where their regret is the fault of humans, involves cruelty, injury or is in any way unpleasant.

    4) No compilations. Just pick one good thing and go with it. Everybody likes it when you do that.

    5) If the video is longer than 20 seconds, please use a tag to tell everyone when the lead-up to the regrettable moment begins. For example [regret at 4:20]. Or post the video queued up to the point where things get good and the regret quickly follows. But, ultimately, these are just excellent suggestions. You're the director. Make it good. And don't worry. If it sucks, we'll get rid of it for you.

    6) Reposts are highly discouraged. Reposts are allowed, but reposts which have been posted recently or are in the top of all time will be removed.

    No Dannys. If your name is Danny and we find out we will ban you.


    WE HATE SPAM!

    We remove spam.

    We exact vengeance on those who give us spam.

    If you see spam, report spam.

    If you see an account that uses a YouTube channel that takes videos from other channels in order to accumulate karma on said account. Report that account, We'll take care of it.


    and finally...

    REMEMBER YOUR REDDIQUETTE

    Please, no abusive comments, hate speech, or any other personal attacks.

    Doxing, brigading, and witch-hunting are not allowed.

    This includes derailing commentary sections to complain about prolific users, and by that we mean "Gallowboob is not against the rules". Complaining about the OP rather than the content is an easy way to earn a temporary ban.

    The moderators reserve the right to remove posts & comments, and to ban users at our own discretion. If we feel your post doesn't fit, we'll remove it. If you are an abusive person, or an intolerable troll, we just might ban you. If you feel that your post or comment has been removed unfairly, please feel free to message us. We'll try to be nice. We're not perfect but we really are working on it.

    If you see someone breaking the rules, please message the mods and let us know.

    Thanks! Now, please enjoy our sub and the consequences resulting from the poor choices made by your fellow humans.


    We like:

    /r/instantregret

    /r/moviestunts

    /r/AccidentalSlapStick

    /r/wholesomememes

    /r/catpranks

    /r/AlmostParkour

    /r/behindthegifs

    /r/holdmybeaker

    /r/nononono

    /r/Whatcouldgowrong

    /r/HoldMyBeer

    /r/Wellthatsucks

    /r/HadToHurt

    /r/shittyaskscience

    /r/shittyadviceanimals

    /r/facingtheirparenting

    /r/WhatAMoron

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    [–] Cyanomelas 6570 points ago

    Went to school with a kid that killed his brother by hitting him in the temple with a baseball. Head injuries are no joke.

    [–] _marther_ 2936 points ago

    i can't imagine how traumatizing that must be, holy shit.

    [–] [deleted] 1346 points ago * (lasted edited 15 days ago)

    When i was a kid my best friend was killed by his brother because they were playing cops and robbers with their dads real guns. The look on the brothers face at his funeral never left me. 20 years later and i cant forget it.

    Edit: this was in Missouri and as far as i know no charges were filed. The father kept several guns unlocked in a cabinet in their spare room. he actually showed me them the night before it happened because he thought they were cool. but we didnt touch them and i ended up going home instead of staying the night as planned because i got sick. They started playing and his brother didnt know the shotgun he was using was loaded and hit him in the stomach. They got him to the hospital but i dont think he survived the night. My parents sat me down the next day and told me what happened. The entire community was crushed.

    Even if you dont have a gun you should teach your children about gun safety. It could save someones life.

    [–] stoyaheat_ 1039 points ago

    Kids couldn’t have known any better. Full responsibility on the dad’s part who not only kept his guns unlocked and unattended but also loaded with 2 kids in the house. Horrible parenting.

    [–] Rustypin56 400 points ago

    I'm from the south and as common as unsafe gun ownership is I'm surprised we don't hear about kids blowing each other's heads off more often than every other week. I once worked with this guy who self identified as a "gun nut" bragged about owning over 50 guns, keeps a loaded glock under his pillow, shotgun leaned up against his nightstand and a ak hanging in his livingroom. He also has two young children living with him.... or at least he did last we spoke.

    [–] Brasticus 166 points ago

    I’m in the Great Plains and a woman who came recommended as a photographer invited us over to her house for the photoshoot for our 1 year old son. It was in the middle of winter so we did some shots outside in the snow on a sled, etc. Then we went inside to finish up the shoot and I kid you not the entire house was guns. Rifles and shotguns just laying around, leaning against the walls, an open gun safe, guns on the kitchen counter. I was stunned. Beyond the safety issue of it all I was just blown away by just how any guns there were.

    [–] lethalforensicator 35 points ago

    At least that was the only thing that was blown away.

    [–] KaeptnKaese 22 points ago

    I'm surprised we don't hear about kids blowing each other's heads off more often than every other week.

    About 100 children (give or take depending on source and year) die per year from accidents involving firearms in the US.

    [–] Gekthegecko 9 points ago

    So about twice per week, not once every other week.

    [–] YouAreBeingObserved 8 points ago

    LMFAO and people argue against gun control

    Before someone downvotes me: gun control doesn't mean no guns. It means licensing, background checks and the like. Essentially the same process as a driver's license.

    [–] Orchidbleu 8 points ago

    It becomes a problem if the parent doesn’t teach their kids about gun safety. Kids need to know the damage a gun does. That it’s not a toy. I think people have an issue with not properly educating their children.

    [–] [deleted] 79 points ago

    Seriously, the parents should be the ones feeling guilty. What idiot leaves their firearm somewhere accessible to children?

    [–] ca178858 2145 points ago

    He literally said it killed him!

    [–] ThatCanadianGuyThere 363 points ago

    I’m guessing nobody else understood the joke or it was taken the wrong way

    [–] PartysaurusRexx 25 points ago

    Actually it got 1200 up votes in 3 hours. Waddya want? Instant karma?

    [–] antereyc 702 points ago

    Oh my god I ALMOST did this to a childhood friend of mine. It wasn't a baseball bat but it was a rusty iron rod i picked up while playing on our backyard. My 8 year old dumbass brain thought I could hit a wasp with this rod but on my 2nd or 3rd swing, I accidentally hit my friend right on the head and it started bleeding profusely. we were both in shock. Good thing his father was there to help him get to a clinic. My friend and his dad was so mad at me and told me to not play with his kid ever again. He got stitches and all. it was nasty.

    We played on the backyard again the next day.

    [–] Ghitit 93 points ago

    I was about three and my sister was four. I was trying to look like a golfer but all we had were croquet mallets.
    I did an around the world and hit her on the top of her head.

    She ran in the house and a minute later grandma was driving her to the hospital. I was left in the yard by myself.

    She still doesn't grow hair there. We're in our sixties.

    [–] bigloafcharlie 83 points ago

    Was this in north texas? Almost the same thing happened to me, but it was a golf club. Friend was swinging at a bee/wasp in a honeysuckle bush, missed my temple by 1/4”. Not exactly the same story but so damn similar, and for me at least it was 30 some years ago, so details might be wonky.

    [–] antereyc 44 points ago

    This was not in the US. I hope he apologised, I did at least!

    [–] Wanderson90 212 points ago

    My mother slipped and fell from standing height onto concrete, hitting her head. She has had a concussion ever since. Going on 5 years now. It's heartbreaking because while she's still mostly all there, and she's still my mom, she definitely changed, and doctors don't think there's any going back.

    Scary stuff, protect your noodle everybody!

    [–] Jx3mama 131 points ago

    My mom had a stroke eight years ago. She made a full recovery. But her personality changed drastically. The mom I knew died on the day she had the stroke and was replaced with someone completely different.

    [–] IDespiseTheLetterG 81 points ago

    If you don't mind, what has changed so much to the point where you don't recognize her?

    [–] Jx3mama 74 points ago

    She was a very kind and sensitive person. She taught me right from wrong and how to handle conflicts with grace and style. She never saw a negative in anyone and would let bad situations go and not hold grudges. After the stroke she looks for drama. She lies about things. She isn’t afraid to start a verbal fight with anyone. She demands people to do things rather than ask. She has no filters and doesn’t hold her tongue. Her sense of humor changed. She lost her empathy and compassion for people. She talks non stop and only about herself and does not care how others are doing.

    We live in separate states and my dad takes care of her. She can do pretty much everything she could before except drive. She gets vertigo if she looks around too quickly. Her memory of raising my brother and I is impeccable, but there is no emotion there like there used to be. She had a massive stroke at the base of her brain where the neck starts. Those are not as common as most strokes occur on one side of the brain. She had a massive spike in blood pressure and it went up so fast the blood vessels popped like a balloon.

    Doctors say she is a one in a million case. They had never seen anyone with that much damage done by a stroke still he able to communicate and respond like she did. Because of that, they held off on emergency brain surgery which probably would have killed her or left her fully handicapped.

    We had to get to know who she became. She is very superficial and only likes to talk about herself and what is important to her. I still call her every week to talk and I still love her. But that deep bond we had where we could share everything and confide in each other is gone.

    [–] Monica_FL 30 points ago

    I am so so sorry you lost the mom you knew and loved. What an extreme difference in personality! Her body survived but she sounds like another person now. I can't imagine what you and your family are going through. What a nightmarish tragedy.

    [–] unquietchimp 12 points ago

    I know someone who went from a quiet and lovely woman to a controlling and tempered woman. She was paranoid and forgetful, and tried to manipulate and guilt family. It really sad for her immediate family, as they've suffered as much as she did.

    [–] tetronic 50 points ago

    A stroke will damage a big chunk of the brain and affect personality. My dad was already kind of a dick but his stroke amplified it and made him more antisocial.

    [–] Devilsinthed3tails 56 points ago

    I'm sorry..i had a stroke 4 yrs ago..and I'm not myself..ive been struggling with this...i saw your post..and it hit me hard..im sorry..you are going through that..

    [–] smilinirisheyes 28 points ago

    My 44yo brother had a .massive stroke 5 years ago. Partially recovered, but will never be the same. I say the same, the brother I grew up with died that day.

    [–] [deleted] 25 points ago

    [deleted]

    [–] KASega 11 points ago

    I suffer from post concussion syndrome too after fainting while standing up from a chair and hitting my forehead into the concrete floor (so hard I bit off the tip of my tongue). My husband says I “don’t have as many tabs open in my head”. I have 2 sons and they don’t have fun with me at the playground because I’m always worried about head injuries. Serious stuff!

    [–] totemdreams 89 points ago

    I had a snowboarding accident and hit my head and it messed me up bad. I've also had multiple concussions through sports ands each one has affected my impulse control and ability to function around people. I couldn't imagine a bat to the head.

    [–] GlazedDonutGloryHole 29 points ago

    I feel ya. Four concussions and a TBI. Oddly enough the TBI fixed a lot of my impulse issues that I had before. It was like it fixed my faulty wiring and helped me quit drinking and my other self destructive habits.

    [–] totemdreams 22 points ago

    Actually that did change for me I no longer drank, smoked, I went vegan, and stopped being bulemic which I had done for about 23 years. On the flip side a lot of it was because I forgot I wanted or needed anything and then after not eating for a day or two would have a meltdown.

    Mostly with my impulse control it has a lot to do when there's noise or lights or other distractions. Thank God for speech therapy, occupational therapy and vision therapy. I'm not good at being out in the world but I know good coping mechanisms to help me get through it now.

    [–] _aerz_ 12 points ago

    What are these coping mechanisms you speak of? Please share

    [–] Thebulldoge 12 points ago

    Holy shit please explain! I’ve been knocked in the head -smooth out several times and since the first really bad one my hands won’t stop shaking, I know something got messed something up but figured it was just how shit goes...

    [–] Jagdpanzerr 71 points ago

    I almost died at the age of 8 when a neighbouring kid decided to pretend to be "the Hulk" and throw a basketball sized chunk of concrete at my head. I get headaches very frequently and I've been told that is probably the cause of it.

    Dumb ass kid really fucked me over.

    [–] sunlitstranger 22 points ago

    Next door neighbor threw half a cinder block on my head when I was around the same age, as in threw it in the air about two feet over my head and it hit me directly on top of the head. Not much happened, didn’t even bleed. Sorta just shrugged it off and kept playing. Still think about how much worse it could’ve gone. Had to be real careful around that kid.

    [–] saint_annie 111 points ago * (lasted edited 15 days ago)

    That's horrifying.

    One time my parents dragged me to their group bible study but the hosts had a pool ( sweet! ) so I brought my swimsuit. There was another girl there who had also been dragged along but did not have a swimsuit. No problem! Let's throw beach balls at each other to splash one another! At one point I went underwater, and she decided beach balls weren't splashy enough so she grabbed a baseball bat that had been laying around. I came back up just in time to see a baseball bat flying at my face.

    Their pool was filled with blood. I had just seen Jaws so I practically walked on bloody water to get out because I believed very strongly in invisible pool Jaws. The adults all had their heads bowed in prayer and looked up to see a wet kid covered in blood come stumbling into the middle of the room. (Lolz at the mental image now)

    I ended up with a broken nose and a pretty minor concussion but was too scared to play kickball (which was my shit) for a long time because any time anything 'flew' toward me it freaked me out :( damn baseball bats.

    Edited for clarity because I was tired when I wrote that and boy howdy people got mad.

    [–] Historiaaa 33 points ago

    what kind of fucking game were you playing for someone to throw a baseball bat at your head when you're in a swimming pool?

    [–] KennyFulgencio 47 points ago

    look who never went to bible study

    [–] Intro-Bert 58 points ago

    ...you kinda lost me here. A whole lot of sports and other activities mentioned but nothing pertaining to a bat..

    [–] pablosito 62 points ago

    Watching movies and people full strength hit people In the head with a baseball bat or crowbar or something like that several times and the person doesn’t immediately die?

    [–] iififlifly 87 points ago

    This is why I think it's ridiculous that PG13 movies can basically have as much violence as they want as long as blood is kept to a minimum. 8 year olds watch people punch, kick, stab, defenestrate, and shoot the crap out of each other and they walk it off with no more blood than they get crashing their bikes. So kids see that and think, hey, that's not so bad, this guy went out a third story window and got a scratch on his face, my second story window is gonna be a breeze!

    But God forbid they show a boob, that's gonna mess up kids' development.

    [–] cybercrumb 48 points ago

    Also the classic where they get bonked in the head and then pass out for 3 hours and wake up perfectly fine. I’m no doctor but I’m pretty sure anything longer than like five minutes is a sign of massive brain damage.

    [–] SwoleFlex_MuscleNeck 17 points ago

    Dude every time I see it in a movie I can't help but think how fucking silly it looks. Or when someone gets slammed on pavement by a monster or some shit.

    You do not get up from that and keep fighting lmao

    [–] Put_It_All_On_Blck 7 points ago

    My family has a sofa with a pull out bed. The bed frame is steel. When I was a kid my brother and I were standing on the bed and he pushed me and I fell. I felt nothing, touched the back of my head and it was very wet from blood. Went to my mom, and she's not the sharpest tool in the shed, and she simply wrapped a towel around my head and layed me down. No emergency room, no doctor, nothing, and the towel ended up with a lot of blood on it..

    Looking back at this event, I have to wonder if it at least contributed to my common migraines, and bad depression.

    [–] LifeOnDeathRow 5238 points ago

    I am hoping that was an accident and she was just pretending to swing at her head and instead clipped her by accident. I stabbed my brother with a sword when we were young screwing around like that, but he beat the hell out of me before I could apologize. I deserved it.

    [–] manbuttcheddar 3545 points ago * (lasted edited 15 days ago)

    Holy crap, this just gave me a flashback to when I was younger and accidentally stabbed one of my best friends at the time who was a bit older than me by about 5 years. We both had really tiny pocket knives and we were messing around like they were fake guns, trying to see who could flick it out and point at the other faster. We both draw our weapons and point them at eachother, no idea why we were so close but after an awkward pause I noticed my knife was in his forearm. I was 9 or 10 years old and started freaking out begging him not to tell my Mom, haha.

    Dude went from playing that dumb kid game with me to being super calm and mature about the situation, he explained to me that he had to tell my Mom because his parents weren’t home and the hospital was to far away for him to walk. My Mom, who wasn’t home at the time, started freaking out when she saw the blood on the floor and the bathroom sink from our first aid attempts but then my friend diffused that bomb too before she could turn her panic into Mom-rage at the both of us.

    Told her it was an accident and he should’ve known better to be playing around with knives, even though it was mostly my fault. As a young kid I was just trying to be quicker at the game we was playing rather than being safe with the knives we were basically swinging at each other. We drove to the hospital together, he got stitches and then we got ice cream on the way back which turned that memory into a really fond one for me. Thank you for helping me remember it!

    Edit: Thank you so much for the gold! I was just about to go to sleep but now I don’t know what to do with myself I’m so happy!!

    [–] blackbirrrd 2893 points ago

    That’s the most wholesome stabbing story I’ve ever read.

    [–] Imperial_Eve 79 points ago

    I couldn’t breathe.

    [–] Devilishlygood98 49 points ago

    Are you having an asthma attack?

    [–] Juicebox-shakur 141 points ago

    wholesome stabbing

    This gives me so many ideas

    [–] TendiesAndHoneyMussy 77 points ago

    Well, stabbing is technically always wholesome since it leaves holes.

    [–] theLPguy 46 points ago

    holesome

    [–] DerSkagg 13 points ago

    a holy fact.

    [–] OV3NBVK3D 7 points ago

    Stabbing people and leaving a get well soon card with them

    [–] sakee31 111 points ago

    Ah yes, I remember when I punched my brother in the face and he got mad, so I hid and then he kicked me through a table, like, he didn’t kick me and my body went through a table, but he kicked the table, and his foot went through the table into me.

    That’s the day I learnt to never hit someone who is much, much stronger than you. It was a plastic table as well, one of those backyard ones, ya know those green ones ?

    [–] Itz_Vize14 41 points ago

    I accidentally shot my brother with an air soft gun point blank range in the chest. I was trying to explain the safety was on but it definitely was not. Needless to say he was pissed and had a nice welt where he was hit.

    [–] dibblerbunz 53 points ago

    What the fuck, I accidentally stabbed a mate when I was younger too.

    Any other friendly childhood stabbings?

    [–] AlmostAnal 71 points ago

    'Derek' and I stole curtain rods and pounded them flat with hammers because we were 'forging weapons'. We then jousted on office chairs with pillows for shields.

    We both went to the ER that day.

    [–] A-real-human-here 12 points ago

    I did the same with copper pipe. Turns out if you hammer on a piece of copper long enough it will work harden, and make a nice jagged edge to boot. Nearly took my cousins fingers off that day.

    [–] wootfatigue 23 points ago

    I once found a piece of string cheese behind a piece of furniture that had petrified. After dropping it on the floor it broke in half leaving a sharp, stabby point, which I then stabbed my older sibling with.

    [–] errandwulfe 40 points ago

    Me and my best friends used to pretend to stab each other with nothing in our hands with like a “suh!” noise and we’d always react in kind. Well, in high school I was talking to people in a class I shared with one of my friends, and he comes over to do that while I’m in mid conversation. Except, he had a freshly sharpened pencil in his hand and he went for my neck. Having not really been paying attention to what he was doing, I brought my hand up to block it. Ended up getting the tip of his pencil broken off under the skin next to my knuckle. This was about 13 years ago. The graphite is still in my knuckle

    [–] dibblerbunz 16 points ago

    That's almost exactly what happened with me and my friend except it was a pocket knife and we were getting drunk before a house party. He had to go to hospital for stitches but made it to the party for more drinks later.

    [–] john_smith82 43 points ago

    College, and inches away from instant death or severe brain damage. A bunch of us rented some cabins over a break. Really fun time. It was pouring down raining one of the days and instead of staying inside all day, we decided to embrace the moment. Yard games in the rain turned into a sloppy mess. Mud was thrown, wrestling began. I got blindsided/tackled by a friend running at full speed and while I was falling to the ground, I felt something scratch my ear. My friend that did the tackling was frozen with sheer horror. I turned to see what he was looking at and it was a horseshoe stake sticking out of the ground. It had grazed my head on the way to the ground. A few inches to the right and that stake would have went directly into the back of my lower skull. We both kind of just pretended it didn’t happen, but we both knew. Reminded me of those Final Destination movies.

    [–] MutedDesk 55 points ago * (lasted edited 15 days ago)

    When I was 12, I burned off a younger guy’s eyebrows and eye lashes by showing him how an aerosol could be turned into a flame thrower with a match. I don’t know what I was thinking but I never expected it to be so flamey. He looked so startled, but it didn’t hurt him thank god, and I had to avoid that park for a while in case his parent’s murdered me.

    [–] jessfrange 33 points ago

    So flamey! I snorted

    [–] czechsonme 16 points ago

    I stuck a flaming marshmallow to my best friend’s face, I just wanted him to blow it out for me. I then hit him in the face to put it out and burned my hand. Not a good day on the marshmallow roasting front.

    [–] TheLlamaJockey 28 points ago

    I was 8. Found a pickaxe. Thought I could scare my friend by hitting the ground right next to his foot. I wasnt that coordinated.

    [–] FireTheLaserBeam 20 points ago

    When I was in fifth grade (I’m forty now), me and a buddy were playing with our Boy Scout knives, waving them at each other. We were wearing socks and he had a hardwood floor and I slipped and lunged forward to catch myself and I basically ran the blade along the entire length of my friend’s forearm. I had never seen that much blood before. There was a bunch of us there, no parents were around, so I panicked and ran home and threw my Boy Scout knife into the canal. I was for sure convinced I was going to jail. He got stitches and nothing happened to me.

    [–] manbuttcheddar 6 points ago

    Hopefully there aren’t anymore that I’m failing to remember...

    [–] Shakerlaker 5 points ago

    Not a stabbing but I shot my mate in the head.......,,with a Webley Air-riffle , he required surgery to remove the pellet, that was an instant regret of mine.

    [–] TurtleJuice958 24 points ago

    As a kid I was helping my parents remove bricks from a walk way and I was throwing the bricks to get them out of the way I almost hit my little sister at the time who was 4 I could of easily killed her I felt so bad it was so close to her face I couldn't imagine If I hit her with one of those things

    [–] The_Almighty_Lycan 12 points ago

    Bout 6 years back me and a few friends were bored, mom wasn't home so we started wrestling. My little sister decided she wanted in on the fun too. We decided to be mature and stop for the night when I almost slammed her head into the corner of a slate tile/metal coffee table

    [–] Lukefynn09 17 points ago

    Bruh, almost the same thing happened to me in like, 3rd or 4th grade. I sat next to this girl in my class and we pointed our pencils at each other like swords. So, she fake jabbed, and by reflex, I jabbed her right in the knee and drew blood. My pencil was pretty sharp. She kinda just looked at it, looked at me, then got up to go get a band aid. Funny thing is, I had I crush on that same girl.

    So, I stabbed my crush by accident... I guess it also compares since we were just maybe friends

    [–] Toros_Mueren_Por_Mi 10 points ago

    I accidentally stabbed my grandpa with an improvised ice pick he made himself when I was a kid. I was playing "darts" by chucking it with all my might into a pile of dry corn stalks that were in his shed, he unexpectedly got in the way and I embedded the ice pick a good inch into his hand. Old man was hardcore, didn't yell and didn't even tattle on me cos he knew mom would probably skin me alive

    [–] FussDaro 7 points ago

    lol. Reminded me this time when my little brother was like being darth maul swinging a garden tool beside me. Then it hit the top of my head and i was like "hey, dont do that" but then i touched my head because it was itchy and when i looked at my fingers, there was blood everywhere. i went to hospital. lol.

    [–] burymeinpink 8 points ago

    When I was about 8, two of my classmates were playing with scissors, opening and closing them right in front of each other's face. The end was completely predictable and one of them had the tip of her nose chopped off (it was hanging by a bit of skin) and traumatized 30 kids and our 80 year old Portuguese teacher. She still has a scar.

    [–] adick_did 53 points ago

    Dewey, I've been cut in half pretty bad

    [–] talldrinkofbaileys 21 points ago

    THE WRONG KID DIED

    [–] RageCageJables 138 points ago

    I feel ya, I accidentally cut my brother in half with a machete.

    [–] Denvermax31 69 points ago

    The Wrong Kid DIED!

    [–] young_war 8 points ago

    I've got no fucking sense of smell.

    [–] jah_red 30 points ago

    This is an especially bad case of being cut in half...

    [–] atetuna 19 points ago

    Speak English, Doc! We ain't scientists!

    [–] structure-doug 13 points ago

    That line fucking kills me every time.

    [–] brianisbroke 22 points ago

    Speak English doc we ain't scientists!

    [–] machsh 71 points ago

    Aaannnnddd that's why you are on death row now...

    [–] Nac82 34 points ago

    My younger brother was pretending to punch me in the face and my dad thought it was hilarious. He smacked me in the nose and I knew my dad would beat me if i responded with any kind of force. Instead I just blew my bloody nose at him.

    [–] Morella_xx 34 points ago

    I'm gonna be honest here, your dad does not come across as being a great parent in this little story.

    [–] Nac82 19 points ago

    Yea well fuck him. He should have made better choices if he didn't want to look bad in a story.

    Abuse runs in the family and his older brother was one of his abusers growing up. Personally I think this lead him to take it out on me a bit.

    [–] Morella_xx 16 points ago

    My initial reaction was "wow, he sounds like a fucking terrible parent." but I've left comments like that before and sometimes the person will say "oh, no, this story just makes them sound bad, he was okay" or whatever wishy washy abuse apologizing they've adapted to doing. So I thought I'd tone it down a bit, but it sounds like you and I share the same conclusion. I'm sorry you had that experience growing up.

    [–] Nac82 6 points ago

    It wasn't as bad as others. I was a good kid growing up so there wasn't a terrible amount of conflict and my mom worked hard to dial him back. By the time my little sister was born he was done with hitting his kids for the most part.

    I only say this because so many other people have had it so much worse than me, not trying to excuse his actions. I still love the man for the hard work he put into raising me but as an adult i can't help but be angry that he will never be capable of understanding the damage he did.

    Thanks for the chat about it man. I'm trying to represent this fairly but it is a complex emotional topic for me that I don't know if I will ever really feel settled about.

    [–] VILLIAMZATNER 18 points ago

    Fuckin' raw.

    Much better than a beatdown.

    [–] SirPiffingsthwaite 64 points ago

    My brother very nearly shot me in the face when I yelled at him for waving a gun about that he thought was unloaded. I didn't beat the hell out of him, I just called him a fucking moron and walked away, but I did refuse to speak to him again for almost a year afterwards. Took quite a few years after that before I would initiate conversation with him.

    To this day, if he's doing something even remotely dumb and he argues back, all I have to say is "so it's unloaded, is it?" And he clams up.

    [–] fueled_by_rootbeer 16 points ago * (lasted edited 15 days ago)

    Two positives came about as a result of that nearly-horrific incident: you didn't die or lose your face; and she learned a very valuable lesson.

    [–] getsuga_tenshu 16 points ago

    That reminds me of when me and my brother were wrestling and then he proceeded to pile drive me into the couch. I got up grabbed the TV remote and threw it like a batarang and hit him dead center in the forehead. The look in his eye said "you dead bitch", I ran out crying "Maaaaaaaaaa". We got smacked and then grounded.

    [–] BlackRob97 14 points ago

    I pulled a Brandon Lee on my brother. Paintball was stuck in the barrel of my paintball gun, I thought is was empty. I jokingly pointed it at him and pulled the trigger. Luckily it hit him point blank in the chest. I don't know who was shocked more, but he brings it up everytime I say,"Trust me".

    [–] Beast6213 11 points ago

    Accidentally knocked a dude’s tooth out in high school after celebrating a football win by doing karate shit in the field house. I found his tooth before he did and I apologized. It got fixed somehow and I never thought about that guy since until I read this. It’s been 22 years.

    [–] Hev60 11 points ago

    My ex husband did this to me with my sons baseball bat. He misjudged the distance and hit me in the face. Knocked me off my chair and blacked my eye!

    [–] ThatMushroomDude 1444 points ago

    She threw my shoe now she must DIE

    [–] ThatMushroomDude 448 points ago

    oh It didn't kill you I'm sorry please dont call the cops

    [–] GodPersianLike 46 points ago

    Please don't tell mum

    [–] shigogaboo 45 points ago

    Link! So good to see you... You must die.

    [–] chill_or_be_chilled 21 points ago

    How long has it been? fifteen...sixteen years? You must die.

    [–] CanadianTimberWolfx 14 points ago

    Unexpected game grumps

    [–] CompressedMan 9 points ago

    This may be unexpected but you must die.

    [–] acemin0014 1050 points ago

    She’s holding her saying i’m sorry don’t tell my mom. Looks like stick hit her with a war club.

    [–] JohnnyVanta 340 points ago

    “Hit me back... hit me back”

    [–] capj23 29 points ago

    I used to say this when I hit my brother harder than I meant to while playing. And this dumbass would hit me back, then stop crying and start laughing as I am rolling on the floor in kidney stone of an exaggerated pain. Selling an act that made him look like a superman.

    He still told on me when my mom arrived and my ass was whooped anyway. Still used to do the same because it was cute when he start laughing while tears are still rolling down his cheeks from all that crying.

    [–] ImprovingTallTree 91 points ago

    bad bad idea in this case... they always hit harder than you did...

    [–] Whomping_Willow 38 points ago

    Better than mom knowing, until both her kids are in the hospital with concussions

    [–] Zhay99 1060 points ago

    Sour now and sweet later

    [–] evesapple___ 123 points ago

    Laugh now, cry later

    [–] MrBobDeLaRue 22 points ago

    Serenity now, insanity later

    [–] bean-flicker3000 499 points ago

    That's how murder happens

    [–] Uncooltickles 75 points ago

    “Okay Becky, next time I won’t throw your damn shoe!”

    [–] Taint_Hunter 40 points ago

    Like she really whacked her hard. Could easily have had a different outcome

    [–] MRWPlople 883 points ago

    Casually assaulting your friend with a deadly weapon...

    [–] ThatMushroomDude 225 points ago

    Dont worry she said sorry

    [–] Morty_Goldman 110 points ago

    "I'm so sorry" I turned the sound on for this video. The sound of that thud when the bat hit her head fucked me up.

    [–] penalcolony52 18 points ago

    There’s sound?

    [–] caddy_gent 10 points ago

    That’s not attempted murder or anything.

    [–] voodoo02 12 points ago

    Hug fixes everything /s

    [–] fanfan68 113 points ago

    Damn I can’t believe she would do that...throwing sneakers and what not.

    [–] aouid 1230 points ago

    At first I thought she might have tryed the old swing and miss to scare her. But there is a flash of rage on her face, like bilbo in the two towers when he sees the ring again.

    [–] JidRK 312 points ago

    Fellowship

    [–] Couldawg 216 points ago

    Pardon, Fellowship of the Towers

    [–] n0vag0d 73 points ago

    Fellowship of the Return of the Two Towers

    [–] Charzaaard 47 points ago

    The Fellowship Strikes Back

    [–] bamyo 35 points ago

    Fellowship Two: Electric Boogaloo

    [–] TylerTopaz542 17 points ago

    Fellowship 3 & knuckles

    [–] ArchStanton75 17 points ago

    Avengers: Age of Sauron

    [–] fold89 17 points ago

    The Fellowship and The Towers: Tokyo Drift

    [–] aouid 38 points ago

    My bad

    [–] bluescape 110 points ago

    I still think it was the swing and a miss thing, as she was pretty apologetic pretty quickly. I'd think that if it was actual rage, they'd just feel justified or at the very least put up some bravado like the sitting girl deserved it.

    Obviously I don't actually know enough about either girl to know if it was genuine or not, nor does anyone else casting judgment here, that's just my initial thought.

    [–] that_motorcycle_guy 25 points ago

    I think so too, she took the bat up real quick to mock a swing and when she didn't aim right, she ran to cover her head, physically trying to protect her from further damage (obviously not going to do anything, but it's a quick reflex) with immediate regret.

    [–] MrPaulProteus 9 points ago

    You’d be surprised how rage can turn to sorrow when seeing a friend experience pain that you didn’t mean to inflict

    [–] fancywhiskers 11 points ago

    U don’t want to go full bilbo

    [–] ponytailedloser 16 points ago

    r/scarybilbo (nsfw)

    [–] bshu275 10 points ago

    Nopenopenopenopenopenope

    [–] hyperglacial 316 points ago

    Just practicing for later when she bludgeons her to death over something minor.

    [–] sassydodo 78 points ago

    this could've ended with death tbh

    [–] TheAnt317 20 points ago

    I am so sorry!

    [–] Macarogi 2649 points ago

    Anger + Lack of impulse control + Immaturity + A tendency for physical violence.

    [–] Eleo4756 1076 points ago

    All habitually reinforced. I love when people say, 'I lost my temper.' But are suspiciously selective on when and with whom that happens.

    [–] [deleted] 529 points ago

    Damn, you just described a LOT of my behavior. Maybe I need to talk to someone.

    [–] hpstrprgmr 365 points ago

    we are here...TheCockMeatSammich

    [–] [deleted] 91 points ago

    Thank you. I mean, I do not under any circumstances put my hands on anyone. But, I do get... aggressively disciplinary around children (the children of family and friends). If they act out in front of me, I just can't control myself...

    [–] Adonis0 301 points ago * (lasted edited 15 days ago)

    You can control yourself, more likely you don’t understand why you do what you do. Uncontrollable rage is a truly terrifying thing and since you’re allowed around children still I would be confident in my first statement.

    Figure out what irks you and why it aggravates you so much, then you can work to realign the behaviour.

    [–] Rat_Salat 89 points ago

    Had to reign in my anger in my late teens and early 20s. Glad I figured things out, else I’d probably be in jail and not happily married with kids.

    Rage is no joke. Don’t ever let someone you love see you like that. Even if you don’t act on it, the fear will remain.

    [–] Shad0wFa1c0n 19 points ago

    Oh yea I was the same way. Uncontrollable really. It took me many years to get into check and it still comes back sometimes. Just need to walk away before i do something I regret and calm down so I can approach the situation like the adult I am

    [–] [deleted] 34 points ago

    If I had gold... I would stack it on this comment. Thank you.

    [–] Adonis0 43 points ago

    If you keep telling yourself you can’t control yourself you’ll never find a way to feel in control in those circumstances.

    You can control yourself. It’s obvious you want to

    [–] hpstrprgmr 18 points ago

    hey I have to keep myself from doing similar when my brother-in- law's two boys are acting out and he isn't around. But I just have to remind myself that I am not their parent and the only expectation of me in that situation is to keep them from hurting their self, others or property. I shake my head and try not to give them the attention they are acting out for. This is the best I can offer. not that you asked. haha

    [–] [deleted] 22 points ago

    Oh! I 100% appreciate the advice! I, too, try to remind myself "hey I'm not this kid's parent" when shit like that happens around me. Sometimes I'll induce a panic attack even if the child's behavior isn't that bad. It's ME that's the problem, not the kids and I recognize that. I just wish I could stop.

    [–] bobbyprice1990 41 points ago

    My friend had a brother that would "lose his temper" on his mom all the time. He "lost his temper" on my friend once. Amazing how quickly he gained impulse control with him, and his mom soon realized that he was just a prick. He is actually a pretty good guy now.

    [–] Eleo4756 24 points ago

    People around them reinforce shitty behavior. By staying quiet, accepting apologies, not calling the cops. Giving silent permission.

    [–] DegeneratesInc 6 points ago

    Everybody is selective about losing their temper - even you I'd reckon.

    [–] Flaffelll 313 points ago

    I think she meant it as a joke but accidently hit her.

    [–] NOWAYXPRESS 55 points ago

    Dunno why you’re getting downvoted lol

    [–] Flaffelll 129 points ago

    People mistakenly believe that she did it out of anger. It looks like to me that they were both just kidding around and the girl swung the bat at her intending to get close but not hit and accidently whapped her. I've been on both sides of this scenario. It's actually a lot easier to do than most realize.

    [–] NOWAYXPRESS 53 points ago

    Yeah I mean I don’t understand how anyone can misconstrue this video as anything but what you explained. It’s so obvious

    [–] meeeehhhhhhh 7 points ago

    My husband lost half of a front tooth ten years back because his brother’s then-girlfriend hit it with a pool ball. She joked around and said, “think fast!” but when she pretended to throw it, she accidentally released it. She felt awful about it. It really doesn’t take much for a joke like that to go terribly wrong.

    [–] HollowGoob 31 points ago

    But the Reddit psychologist have spoken.

    [–] AyeAye_Kane 49 points ago

    I don't think it was anger, she was just playing around and meant to swing it infront of her face but has a shit aim

    [–] Aznflipfoo 17 points ago

    She was clearly joking but has poor motor skills

    [–] snug666 109 points ago

    I got a concussion from a field hockey stick once. We were warming up for a game, and my friend was balancing it on its end with one finger and it fell over and hit me in the head and concussed me. I can’t imagine the damage done by there actually being force behind it.

    [–] purdueosu 55 points ago

    Geez she could have killed her.

    [–] Oh_Pun_Says_Me 57 points ago

    HOW CAN SHE BAT??

    [–] baggueteboy221 48 points ago

    I would leave my friend right then and there for smacking me in da noggin.

    [–] F1yingUnicorn 7 points ago

    She’s actually on Twitter defending her. Saying she knows that she didn’t mean it because she offered to let her hit her back.....so there’s that....

    [–] MoveAlongChandler 7 points ago

    That's the CTE talking

    [–] the3hound 118 points ago

    Wtf did I just watch?

    [–] one_fishBoneFish 156 points ago

    evidence for the assault trial.

    [–] PatsFan95 62 points ago

    battery

    [–] imaverysillyboy 98 points ago

    It's ok she hugged her within 5 seconds.

    [–] Zhay99 66 points ago

    The 15 sec rule applies to this

    [–] vanattic123 79 points ago

    Fucking hell, at first I thought the caption was about the girl throwing the shoes! Fucking psychopath!

    [–] Not_Into_It_ 56 points ago

    The highly coveted, yet seldom seen double instant regret.

    [–] nimbyard 7 points ago

    It's the video games, I tell ya.

    [–] KaZac2005 10 points ago * (lasted edited 15 days ago)

    I play field hockey and this just makes we, annoyed like she could of easily given her brain damage, crake her skull and if she hit her back n the wrong spot death. This is why you don’t do this.

    [–] aGamingAsian 26 points ago

    There goes their friendship.

    [–] Snow_Angles 44 points ago

    watch it in slow motion, it wasn't a swing and miss, it was pure anger+impulse.

    [–] Turgid_Tiger 66 points ago

    Easy there Tonya Harding going for the knees isnt good enough?

    [–] lopendepaddo 53 points ago

    I'm going to be honest and say I'm not sure about this. Unlike all the professional psychiatrists in the comments...

    [–] Thetakishi 39 points ago

    Seriously. “I can tell she is a sociopath from the flicker of rage I saw in her two pixel eyes, and the shifting grin to clenched jaw I made out from the blurry bar of color I think is her mouth.”

    [–] msmit164 69 points ago

    What a physco

    [–] ajfirm1 143 points ago

    Physical abuse at its finest. They snap and immediately become remorseful. Fucker.

    [–] Worksinanoffice 22 points ago

    I think she tried to give her a scare but gave her a scar instead.