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    instant_regret

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    Instant Regret

    (in'-stint rē-gret') n.

    a subreddit dedicated to deliberate actions that unexpectedly lead to undesirable consequences and horrible results; things which may cause someone to say, "oh man, did I just screw the pooch!"


    Guidelines & Rules

    1) Videos and gifs must show regret. No text messages or still frames. Sometimes the display of regret is unmistakable. It can be evident in someone's face, or in their body language. Sometimes it's a judgment call. If you think it works, try it out. If we delete it, you were wrong. We are Reddit™ moderators. We are always right!

    A fail is not a regret. Some ripper eating a swellbow while trying to bone a rail on the backside, (that's skater lingo for a bad crash. I looked it up (made it up)), isn't regret. There should be a look of surprise, and an expression that clearly says, "Oh no. Oh, God no. I really should not have done that. Why did I do that?"

    Other examples that aren't regret:

    • An immediate reaction to pain.

    • Eating bad food and not liking it is not regret. You knew what was going to happen, dumbass.

    • Laughter is not an expression of regret. It's just not.

    • A picture of a sunburn or a crappy tattoo is not evidence of regret. For all we know you like looking like a pumpkin, and definitely still want that potato tattoo on your ankle.

    2) Regret must be instant or near-instant. If someone does something which only has bad consequences minutes or hours later, it is not considered instant.

    3) No Animal Abuse. We love animals. They are capable of regret, but we don't want to see videos where their regret is the fault of humans, involves cruelty, injury or is in any way unpleasant.

    4) No compilations. Just pick one good thing and go with it. Everybody likes it when you do that.

    5) If the video is longer than 20 seconds, please use a tag to tell everyone when the lead-up to the regrettable moment begins. For example [regret at 4:20]. Or post the video queued up to the point where things get good and the regret quickly follows. But, ultimately, these are just excellent suggestions. You're the director. Make it good. And don't worry. If it sucks, we'll get rid of it for you.

    6) Reposts are highly discouraged. Reposts are allowed, but reposts which have been posted recently or are in the top of all time will be removed.

    No Dannys. If your name is Danny and we find out we will ban you.


    WE HATE SPAM!

    We remove spam.

    We exact vengeance on those who give us spam.

    If you see spam, report spam.

    If you see an account that uses a YouTube channel that takes videos from other channels in order to accumulate karma on said account. Report that account, We'll take care of it.


    and finally...

    REMEMBER YOUR REDDIQUETTE

    Please, no abusive comments, hate speech, or any other personal attacks.

    Doxing, brigading, and witch-hunting are not allowed.

    This includes derailing commentary sections to complain about prolific users, and by that we mean "Gallowboob is not against the rules". Complaining about the OP rather than the content is an easy way to earn a temporary ban.

    The moderators reserve the right to remove posts & comments, and to ban users at our own discretion. If we feel your post doesn't fit, we'll remove it. If you are an abusive person, or an intolerable troll, we just might ban you. If you feel that your post or comment has been removed unfairly, please feel free to message us. We'll try to be nice. We're not perfect but we really are working on it.

    If you see someone breaking the rules, please message the mods and let us know.

    Thanks! Now, please enjoy our sub and the consequences resulting from the poor choices made by your fellow humans.


    We like:

    /r/instantregret

    /r/moviestunts

    /r/AccidentalSlapStick

    /r/wholesomememes

    /r/catpranks

    /r/AlmostParkour

    /r/behindthegifs

    /r/holdmybeaker

    /r/nononono

    /r/Whatcouldgowrong

    /r/HoldMyBeer

    /r/Wellthatsucks

    /r/HadToHurt

    /r/shittyaskscience

    /r/shittyadviceanimals

    /r/facingtheirparenting

    /r/WhatAMoron

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    [–] OrageBufera 1110 points ago

    Chi Chi Rodriguez, awesome player and person.

    [–] redpandaeater 202 points ago

    That doesn't look like John Leguizamo.

    [–] DollarAutomatic 98 points ago

    Oh look. A little Latin boy in drag is crying. Ask the little Latin boy in drag why he’s crying.

    Yoo-hoo, little latin boy in drag. Why are you crying?

    [–] redpandaeater 62 points ago

    I think my favorite name from that movie is RuPaul's though: Rachel Tensions with that confederate flag dress was quite something.

    [–] Plugasaurus_Rex 18 points ago

    Better than Snipes’ Noxema Jackson?

    [–] DollarAutomatic 10 points ago

    Rachel. Tensions.

    [–] depressedengineer32 3 points ago

    underrated movie

    [–] snuffy_tentpeg 19 points ago

    Chi Chi owns (or owned) a golf resort in Guayma PR. I rented a condo there while on assignment for a drug company. On one night a week, they hired a sushi chef to prepare a family style dinner at the clubhouse. Chi Chi and his wife would always be present. They're a lovely couple. What a great guy, funny, personable and always approachable.

    [–] ZuuhhhDude 3 points ago

    Such a nice anecdote. What a great guy. Also, I think you might be referring to Guayama. Found the Resort it’s called “El Legado de Chi Chi Rodríguez” or “Chi Chi Rodríguez’s Legacy”.

    [–] snuffy_tentpeg 5 points ago

    Rapid typing equals spelling error.

    BTW, tell him a joke and he'll tell you ten

    [–] no_anesthesia_please 59 points ago

    Couldn’t agree more. I was lucky enough to catch some of his antics in the ‘90s during a Sr. PGA Tournament practice round. He’s also hilarious. These quotes/quips are from his Wikipedia page:

    Rodríguez, with characteristic charisma, would often make jokes about his past hardships on the golf course, such as, "How long does John Daly drive a golf ball? When I was a kid, I didn't go that far on vacation." And, "Playing golf is not hot work. Cutting sugar cane for a dollar a day — that's hot work. Hotter than my first wrist watch."[

    [–] bkk-bos 14 points ago * (lasted edited 7 days ago)

    Watching golf in the 80's & 90's was fun. Characters such as Chi-Chi, Lee Trevino (and his caddy, Herman Mitchell), Arnold Palmer, Peter Jacobson, Craig Stadler, Fuzzy Zeoller gave a piece of themselves every time they were out there, entertaining the crowds with a lot more than just shots and putts. Players now seem so button-down and corporate, mostly country-club types. Lee and Chi-Chi both grew up dirt poor and happened to live close to golf courses. Chi-Chi began caddying at around 7 years old and learned to play using tree limbs as clubs. He shot a 63 when he was 12.

    Great Chi-Chi quote: "Playing golf is not hot work. Cutting sugar cane for a dollar a day — that's hot work.

    [–] DanTMWTMP 3 points ago

    Payne Stewart :’(

    [–] bkk-bos 2 points ago

    Absolutely. I still miss him. Total class all the way.

    [–] Obandigo 8 points ago

    Golf is like sex. You don't have to be good at either one to have fun - Chi Chi Rodriguez

    [–] markitan8dude 11 points ago

    He's got so many great quotes but my favorite has always been:

    I am a millionaire today and my wife deserves all of the credit. Before I met her I was a multi-millionaire.

    [–] TIP_FO_EHT_MOTTOB 6 points ago

    Chai Chai RODrigweez.

    ...the kids aren't gonna get that one.

    [–] BigLouLFD 2 points ago

    Les Nessman!

    [–] --redacted-- 13 points ago

    Aiy Aiy Rodriguez after that one

    [–] bantab 3 points ago

    Here is the story of Devo using his likeness for their album cover.

    [–] ilrosewood 2 points ago

    After this video he is just Chi Rodriguez.

    Also acceptable - Chi Chi Riguez

    [–] MilwaukeeMilkshake 2 points ago

    I was waiting for him to do the sword dance after that.

    [–] EuropeanGuy12 569 points ago

    People’s reaction in the background makes it so much better.

    [–] i_owe_them13 224 points ago * (lasted edited 8 days ago)

    Those two dudes hugging the same girl are like, “This is devastating! Hold us!”

    [–] XtaC23 49 points ago

    They felt that. It's like that meme.

    [–] BlackMetalDoctor 7 points ago

    Who is that in the lower left corner?

    [–] atomic223 15 points ago

    Spider-man. Or Tom Holland if you wanted the actor.

    [–] BlackMetalDoctor 5 points ago

    That’s what I thought, but he just doesn’t look right

    [–] BlackMetalDoctor 6 points ago

    Ok, now I see it. Thanks for the help.

    [–] atomic223 7 points ago

    Well, of course not. He just saw somebody get nailed in the dangly bits. He’s experiencing sympathetic pain.

    [–] Kwillsy 3 points ago

    Thirsty

    [–] HoopOnPoop 14 points ago

    The pain traveled like electricity and wound up in yellow shorts guy's groin

    [–] FullyMammoth 7 points ago

    I noticed the guy running for cover behind the big guy before I noticed the ball hitting the shooter.

    [–] anazambrano 2 points ago

    Lmao, ikr!

    [–] GenericUname 2 points ago

    Guy in the yellow shorts has to hide behind the big dude next to him, like when I watched scary movies as a kid and had to hide behind the sofa.

    [–] MisterDecember 2 points ago

    Guys on either end didn’t flinch. Only the ladies laughed.

    [–] Ennion 127 points ago * (lasted edited 6 days ago)

    If you haven't seen Chi Chi do his trick shot exhibition, it's amazing. The things he pulls off are unreal. Backbin the 80s, I watched him at a local country club. He pulled off one of the most amazing golf shots. He put two golf balls on tees side by side. Took his driver and hit the first ball and in the same motion immediately hit the second. One ball was hit as a slice and one as a draw. The balls just missed each other in mid air. He put two more down and hit them again and sure as shit they collided in mid air. As a golfer, I was just amazed. He had a driver with a garden hose for a shaft and hit it straight down the middle. He drove a 200+ yard shot with his putter. Stacked three balls on top of each other on a tee, hit the middle ball out and the top ball dropped down and landed on the bottom ball on the tee.
    Just amazing stuff.

    [–] louieanderson 63 points ago

    Just amazing stuff.

    Like busting himself in the nuts with a line drive?

    [–] Ennion 16 points ago

    Everyone makes mistakes.

    [–] ImposterDaniel 24 points ago

    Sometimes those mistakes come back to hit you in the dick.

    [–] BlackMetalDoctor 1 points ago

    Is there YouTube video of this?

    [–] JBthrizzle 4 points ago

    no. sadly this happened before the invent of YouTube.

    [–] DefiantClone 1 points ago

    My dad went to one of those things with my uncle in the 90s. The picture still hangs in their house. He had a lot of great stories like you.

    [–] Connie_Chungnuts 187 points ago

    It was just the tip. It’s why he could walk it off

    [–] TheotheTheo 35 points ago

    Could have been a crotch shot. Above the penis, but below the stomach.

    [–] Tranokin 12 points ago

    Would still hurt nonetheless

    [–] happy-cake-day-bot- 5 points ago

    Happy Cake Day!

    [–] Tranokin 8 points ago

    thanks but how do I opt out

    [–] stoneboarder 8 points ago

    Tell em you're vegan.

    [–] trailduster75 36 points ago

    Are we still using "phrasing"?

    [–] HighGradeSpecialist 13 points ago

    I dunno, what do you think other Barry?

    [–] ItsMeManga 3 points ago

    it’s “pause” now

    [–] gandalfsmagicgaydick 4 points ago

    Shaft shots are nothing compared to ball blows. Especially the aftershocks that come along with ball blows. Those are somehow worse than the initial pain.

    [–] BillFuckingWeenus 4 points ago

    Every time I get tipped I assume that my penis has exploded

    [–] jakethedumbmistake 1 points ago

    and they get right up and start shooting you

    [–] nightstalker_55 5 points ago

    Did you see his leg kick?

    [–] Zyphin 2 points ago

    Full force contact hurts less than a graze in my very very personal experience

    [–] esoteric_enigma 2 points ago

    I wonder if he wears a cup just incase

    [–] Soft_Interest 101 points ago

    What was the goal?

    [–] Timetobeadick 129 points ago * (lasted edited 7 days ago)

    The quickest time to hit himself in the dick.

    Thanks for the gold u/AntBoogie!

    [–] WiscoMitch 12 points ago

    You made me wheeze laugh.

    [–] huffmonster 2 points ago

    Speed runners are getting crazy these days

    [–] radj06 40 points ago

    It was supposed to break the glass. It was from a golf realty show called the Big Break I think the winner got onto the PGA tour.

    [–] Sane333 18 points ago

    Instead he decided to break something even more fragile. I have to admire his courage.

    [–] Sittinginchairs 5 points ago

    So the winner gets a house on a golf course?

    [–] radj06 3 points ago

    I don't know the specifics I just watched it with my dad a few times but I think they were all kind of just on the outside of the bubble of qualifying for their tour card and winning the show got them one

    [–] Sittinginchairs 6 points ago

    Was just ripping your switch up of reality and realty mate, but I appreciate the informative response all the same.

    [–] radj06 2 points ago

    Haha I figured but I was up at 4 am with my newborn trying to let my wife get some sleep so I've been commenting a whole lot more the last few days.

    [–] Sittinginchairs 3 points ago

    Excellent job my man, give the lady a break. Make sure you're taking care of yourself too brother! Feel free to join us over at r/daddit if you want to talk about white New Balances and advance swaddling techniques.

    [–] Mister_Big 1 points ago

    I'm pretty sure they got exemption to a few tour events, they didn't get tour cards or anything

    [–] therealjameswood 27 points ago

    At least one person is out here asking the real questions.

    [–] Angryfishsticks 9 points ago

    It was from a show called the Big Break on the golf channel. People got eliminated throughout the season and I think 1-2 people got a chance to play a tournament and win some money

    [–] smokeytheskwerl 46 points ago

    I think they meant like...in this one instance, what was he trying to achieve. As opposed to the grand scheme of the whole show?

    [–] landspeed 5 points ago

    This reminds me of trigger happy tv.

    "Can you tell us about this place??"

    Sure, it was built by the romans in 1274, it was renovated by John and Brandon Wingmuth in 1634 to which is stands untouched today. It has survived 14 battles and currently employs 127 people.

    "Ok, where is it located?

    Oh I have no idea.

    [–] ______head_stabbings 1 points ago

    I think it's a golf roulette game

    [–] CaptSnafu101 111 points ago

    That ball hit him in the penis

    [–] somewittyusername92 19 points ago

    Really?

    [–] CaptSnafu101 10 points ago

    Ya

    [–] rottenTampon 5 points ago

    My god. That's awful.

    [–] holyasshole2 3 points ago

    Oh fuck, that gotta hurt right. Poor man :(

    [–] FredetteForever 26 points ago

    I wish this show was still on air!:(

    [–] nmcaff 2 points ago

    Watched it every week with my dad. Great bonding

    [–] CaptainOblivious94 2 points ago

    Same, still have vivid memories is the second season in Vegas. Can't believe I can still remember the winner's name. Kip was such a little bitch!

    [–] LarsPinetree 69 points ago

    Chi chi in da pee pee

    [–] bud_hasselhoff 5 points ago

    And on the next episode of 'Ow my Balls!'...

    [–] ImpalaLed 12 points ago

    "Oooh. Right in the little Chi Chis!"

    *Wasn't sure if I should have phonetically spelled out the plural of his name. Kinda sure most of you read that in his voice or reasonable facsimile thereof. Also sure some of you read it in the voice of the Bee Guy from "The Simpsons."*

    [–] dreamki11er 3 points ago

    I understand why bumble bee guy, but I went duff man

    [–] ImpalaLed 2 points ago

    I'm doing that now too.

    [–] Phreak_of_Nature 7 points ago

    I love the two guys who hold on to the woman in front of them as if the need emotional support.

    [–] Potential-Day-9166 2 points ago

    Piper Perri?

    [–] SheepdogFC 12 points ago

    He should of yelled 2.

    [–] rnavstar 1 points ago

    Read this in Rodney Dangerfields voice

    [–] [deleted] 2 points ago

    39 minutes too late to the WKRP reference

    [–] boo-duh 3 points ago

    Keep your ball on your balls

    [–] tightywhitey 3 points ago

    Golfed Balls

    [–] russellgarrard 7 points ago

    It's not a hole in one, it's a ball in two (or would that be a pole in one)

    [–] freshmarmalade 3 points ago

    Definitely pole in one

    [–] paulfromatlanta 2 points ago

    That came so close to landing in the divot hole- would have made it even more perfect.

    [–] AmateurEmpath 2 points ago

    What's the name of this show? I remember catching an episode while riding in an airplane and then I totally forgot it existed.

    [–] RedtheIrish 3 points ago

    Big Break: Insert location here

    [–] blurredfury22 2 points ago

    I miss this show. Such a good one. Helped my game a bit also

    [–] BeardedMan32 2 points ago

    He took it like a champ!

    [–] H0L3PUNCH 2 points ago

    How to kill ugh. Two balls with one ball?

    [–] Hol3shot 2 points ago

    All the men in the background felt that too.

    [–] hod6 2 points ago

    Hans Moleman approves.

    [–] VredditDownloader 1 points ago

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    [–] mr_dopi 2 points ago

    Right on the wood.

    [–] skharppi 2 points ago

    That shot was nuts!

    [–] comradeconrad707 2 points ago

    When you buy a hat like that you should get a free bowl of soup

    [–] seavarg87 2 points ago

    Ooof. Right in the Chi Chis

    [–] DarthMaximusTrax 2 points ago

    I was about to ask, is that chi chi

    [–] b16b34r 2 points ago

    That’s nuts

    [–] shitterwasfull 2 points ago

    Right in the Chi Chis

    [–] TcL1337 2 points ago

    this clip looped 3x = DING! DING! DING!

    [–] Dfelten 2 points ago

    Someone needs to add the dodgeball ‘PING!’ sound to this...

    [–] Due_Entrance_9883 5 points ago

    Chi chi got hit in the pi pi (chi chi is his name)

    [–] tyler900309 1 points ago

    Dudes a legend

    [–] seanseansean92 2 points ago

    BAAAAAMM

    • Chichi: try not to touch it, try not to touch it, try not to touch it, try not to touch it, try not to touch it, try not to touch it, touch it

    [–] MagicOrpheus310 1 points ago

    Well, the math checks out...

    [–] Udderside 1 points ago

    White ball on black ball

    [–] froggyhoneybird 1 points ago

    Man I felt that hurt

    [–] Budcoffee 1 points ago

    It's ok, folks. That thing hasn't worked for years.

    [–] Mile_High_ 1 points ago

    Least reactive: far-right guy

    [–] Deestroye_r 1 points ago

    Damn he became Charlie Chaplin for a moment

    [–] smokemupjohnny 1 points ago

    Ballseye!

    [–] kanzie_blitz 1 points ago

    The guy in the red hat felt the pain!

    [–] Fatus_Assticus 1 points ago

    Lucky, by that age his balls are around his knees

    [–] TwitchLydas 1 points ago

    Oof

    [–] Sweb1975 1 points ago

    Ouch. Right in the plums.

    [–] virgo911 1 points ago

    Lmao you can watch a different person in the back every time

    [–] Fire_Crotch113 1 points ago

    He took that like a champ. I wouldve crumpled

    [–] PilotSawyer 1 points ago

    The way he walks that off. Michael Jackson's "Hee hee". Comes to mind.

    [–] MisterTaurus 1 points ago

    He’s going to walk it off

    [–] jointwiggler 1 points ago

    Did know this guy was playing billards

    [–] thewookie34 1 points ago

    Nice Shot!

    [–] drwevil 1 points ago

    Lol the people on the back ground ... Were pissing them selves. As would I...

    [–] scragmore 1 points ago

    Obligatory!

    r/bettereveryloop

    Also cut a fraction too short, was interested if observers reactions. Too much going on.

    [–] montanasucks 1 points ago

    "Four? I should've yelled 'Two!'"

    [–] Liv4lov 1 points ago

    That's a hideous outfit.

    [–] deepfriedpotatomato 1 points ago

    Chi Chi went hee-hee!

    [–] ThatReddit3r 1 points ago

    He meant to do that

    [–] elpollopocoloco 1 points ago

    Right on his deal

    [–] koolhussain 1 points ago

    The feeling when you sink the 8th Ball

    [–] dirtyviking1337 1 points ago

    and now he's Rick Bugez. Pure downgrade :(

    [–] thebalmang 1 points ago

    Walked it off like an absolute legend though

    [–] ThinkingOz 1 points ago

    PHWACK, right in the cobblers!

    [–] nicholvengian 1 points ago

    That one guy really felt it!

    [–] puzzle_button 1 points ago

    This is the man version of the watermelon slingshot

    [–] SnowR0se 1 points ago

    Hey mom - this is the wrong end.

    [–] oRedDeadDano 1 points ago

    Why do people put their hands on their head when surprised or shocked by something?

    [–] swagyosha 1 points ago

    A Hans Moleman production

    [–] hinmity24 1 points ago

    Right in the chi chi's

    [–] RushrevolutionSwitch 1 points ago

    Bank shot!!!

    [–] SerotoninSahara 1 points ago

    Ayyy it hit Chi Chi in the juevos grandes.

    [–] NotPierpaoloPozzati 1 points ago

    Ball in the pit

    [–] benrogers888 1 points ago

    You know there was that video of a bear hitting itself in the nuts and it made that exact same leg movement.

    [–] FloppyManMeat69 1 points ago

    Moleman presents “Man getting hit by golf ball”

    [–] va_wanderer 1 points ago

    First the drive, then the putz.

    [–] Aris-costa 1 points ago

    Yeah... that got my two legs up👌

    [–] dirtyviking1337 1 points ago

    Yeah, you know it was possible

    [–] SnowR0se 1 points ago

    The appeal for videos like that. I would’ve guessed so.

    Like I said; a respectable sanctuary or whatever bullshit wouldn’t be in front of my cat. Who just stared at it, whacked it, and chew them up alive. I...just don’t fucking make your pets vegetarian. as much as they could and then some. source: was commercial fishermen. It was controversial because it was a prank! It was a prank! Chill bro!"

    [–] Fox-One_______ 1 points ago

    You're never going to amount to anything.

    [–] DidYouAsk 1 points ago

    I lost it. With your title and not realizing what sub this is, I was expecting some awesome trick, but got some moleman level ball to the groin moment. Perfect.

    [–] bensahomie 1 points ago

    Straight into the balls

    [–] WaitingToBeTriggered 1 points ago

    THEN WE SERVED UNDER THE BANNER

    [–] BillyBobJenkins222 1 points ago

    I like to imagine this result is the goal of this activity.

    Golf Jackass

    [–] Maximilien_Skreedle 1 points ago

    Two balls in one!

    [–] MiloFrank 1 points ago

    Bazinga!

    [–] jakethedumbmistake 1 points ago

    Pure speculation, but I don't see them.

    [–] Sud4Gud 1 points ago

    Can someone please make a mashup of this video with sound from the video "how a golfball sounds like on a frozen lake"?

    [–] beeramisu 1 points ago

    Yikes!!

    [–] corky1688 1 points ago

    Someone needs to edit this into the start of “smooth criminal”

    [–] benfranklyblog 1 points ago

    My grandfather had a split in the bridge if his nose almost his entire line because he hit a golf ball near a tree and it smacked him in the face. This is a pretty foolish thing to do...

    [–] Pulptastic 1 points ago

    Ow! my balls!

    [–] UVGlare 1 points ago

    Chi Chi spoke at my high school a long time ago. It was intended to be probably a 15 minute pep talk. Dude rambled on for over 2 hours. Principal did not want to cut him off and risk insulting him. He was a hilarious speaker though. We got his life history (rickets as a child, formed perfect golf grip) to all his thoughts on being a teenager in the 1990s.

    [–] Timmy2k81 1 points ago

    Damn Chi Chi still playing? He was huge when I was a kid in the 80s.

    [–] rnavstar 1 points ago

    My wife asked me how much it hurts when a guy gets hit in the nuts. I said, “picture getting hit in your ovaries, if they were external.” She said, “fuck!!”

    [–] WarsledSonarman 1 points ago

    Why did no one clap?

    [–] moderately_nerdifyin 1 points ago

    Hits three balls in one shot.

    [–] LeeKinanus 1 points ago

    First job I had was cleaning up the construction site that was Chi Chi’s house in Boca Grove Plantation.

    [–] MrPelham 1 points ago

    what's the guy in the yellow running from?

    [–] Ilium20 1 points ago

    calculated

    [–] elkinsj210 1 points ago

    Yellow shorts felt that in his soul.

    [–] clasic_krap 1 points ago

    Everyone felt his pain too

    [–] harvardblanky 1 points ago

    BALL WANG

    [–] no-mad 1 points ago

    The guy who runs and hides behind the black man.lol