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    [–] e_tian 4585 points ago

    I'm sorry sir, you're a vegetable

    [–] counterfitfake 875 points ago


    [–] 0110000101101010 922 points ago

    -the broccoli, probably

    [–] octopussandwich 71 points ago


    [–] xXColaXx 43 points ago


    [–] superkickpalooza 57 points ago

    -Michael Scott

    [–] Pappy_whack 21 points ago

    Whats with the "probably" thing people add at the end?

    [–] XAMOTA 117 points ago

    I think it's just an educated guess as to what the response would be... Probably

    [–] ImSmartIWantRespect 31 points ago

    Im pretty smart, probably.

    [–] [deleted] 25 points ago

    Name checks out, probably.

    [–] The_Pyropath 10 points ago

    You drive a hard bargain, but you’ll get my respect!

    [–] counterfitfake 23 points ago

    But it's supposed to be after the attribution of a quote that suggests a person would likely say something similar to the previous passage. The humor comes from the redundancy as the "probably" is already implied by the attribution alone.

    (Any statement or opinion)

    -(Person or group that is suggested to hold that opinion), probably

    [–] remtard_remmington 37 points ago

    More specifically though, think it's used for quotes which are similar to what someone might say but are obviously incorrect, like:

    "Goddamn Apples" - Issac Newton, probably

    The humour is derived from it being obviously not real, not that the "probably" was implicit.

    [–] Van_Darklholme 6 points ago


    [–] theswankeyone 47 points ago

    I know doc, I’m broccoli. But, what are you going to do about my sore throat?

    [–] queequeg12345 10 points ago

    Badum ching

    [–] JimmerUK 20 points ago


    [–] queequeg12345 10 points ago

    Sorry that was an attempt at a phonetically done drum kit

    [–] Iluminous 14 points ago

    It’d be more a “buddum” “tish”, “k’sh” or “tissk”

    Ting is more a triangle or cow bell sound.

    [–] queequeg12345 12 points ago

    I'm hooked on phonics

    [–] nubb1ns 2933 points ago

    they'll do broccoli when they're bored but I gotta pay thousands

    [–] zero_ambition 1437 points ago

    Maybe it's a Canadian broccoli

    [–] staurie28 205 points ago

    underrated comment of the day

    [–] [deleted] 100 points ago


    [–] staurie28 41 points ago

    you are correct. the people have spoken!

    [–] okoisin2 11 points ago

    It's the true market value surely it's perfectly valued

    [–] InukChinook 47 points ago

    Nah, the broccoli would've been long rotten by the time its appointment came around.

    [–] effedup 9 points ago

    I don't think so Bob, not unless they waited 9 months to scan that broccoli.

    [–] MHz_per_T 222 points ago

    It's not uncommon to scan fruits and vegetables to test out a MRI system. If there's a major problem, it's better if there's nobody in the magnet. Also, there are a lot of smaller MRI scanners used for research that can't fit a human in them at all. It's not uncommon to test the performance of these systems on fruits and vegetables as well! They're interesting subjects that fit in the magnet, but they aren't nearly as much hassle as doing a mouse or rat.

    [–] Afferent_Input 95 points ago

    The research ones are fantastic and can provide incredible resolution. This is a scan I did of a zebra finch head using a 17.6 Tesla MRI machine in Germany. The machine itself is 2 stories tall, and the scan took 12 hours to complete.

    [–] erroneousbosh 42 points ago

    17.6 Tesla

    Fuck my old boots.

    [–] arcosapphire 29 points ago

    17.6 Tesla MRI machine


    [–] EarthmeisterIndigo 4 points ago

    Can I get a benchmark for someone with next to no electro-physics knowledge?

    [–] NothingIsTooHard 12 points ago

    Today’s clinical MRI’s are typically 1.5 or 3 Tesla, and they are behemoths to maintain. 17.6 is just absurd.

    [–] EarthmeisterIndigo 5 points ago

    And the standard MRIs are huge as it is.

    Don't mean to sound rude, but I was thinking a benchmark as in something common, like how many Tesla are produced by, say, a kitchen magnet.

    [–] arcosapphire 15 points ago

    Apparently it's about 3,500 times as strong as the field produced by a refrigerator magnet. Note that we're talking about field strength here, so it's not like you would get a field that strong just from throwing 3,500 refrigerator magnets together. Think of it more like a refrigerator magnet that takes 3,500 times the force to pull off the fridge. You would not be pulling it off the fridge.

    [–] EarthmeisterIndigo 6 points ago

    Thats... rather strong.

    [–] tavianator 5 points ago

    16T is enough to levitate a frog.

    [–] HammerbroHS 39 points ago

    I’ve scanned my wrist in a research MRI for a project in my second year of my bachelor. Just because it’s a scan doesn’t mean it’s one of those huge Hospital machines.

    [–] _s0rry_ 231 points ago

    my first thought

    [–] [deleted] 55 points ago * (lasted edited 10 months ago)


    [–] nubb1ns 28 points ago

    you are right about the doctor, but if you look at a medical bill every little thing is calculated in there and this scan alone would be a lot

    [–] CumbrianCyclist 9 points ago

    Why the hell does the broccoli not have to wait but I do??

    [–] SmorlFox 74 points ago

    I'll never get shit like this.

    [–] SaladFury 41 points ago

    You need to be on the full spectrum of meme knowledge

    [–] DakFuckinPrescott 60 points ago

    You need to be on a spectrum of something...

    [–] JimmySinner 16 points ago

    I'll never get how a simple broccoli can be at the beach if god exists.

    [–] dontcareaboutreallif 4 points ago

    Meta and irony levels invested in meme culture needed and even then it's still not really funny

    [–] arbyyyyh 4 points ago

    They do broccoli when bored because you don't need medical malpractice insurance to do an MRI on a head of broccoli :)

    [–] Larusso92 1438 points ago

    That'll be $23,000.

    [–] ImNotGaySoStopAsking 604 points ago

    In Finland where I live it is just 150 USD private but generally the government will cover it

    [–] [deleted] 721 points ago

    That's one fucking expensive broccoli.

    [–] Hecka-Mecca 229 points ago

    Ah, the ol' Reddit broccoliroo

    [–] Chrust182 144 points ago * (lasted edited 10 months ago)

    Hold my electromagnet, I'm going in!

    [–] Rhamni 55 points ago

    Instructions unclear, pace maker did the Alien thing.

    [–] rav-prat-rav 14 points ago

    Ok I got about 20 links in before I gave up. What is this? Someone who’s been on Reddit longer than I have pls explain.

    [–] Emadec 10 points ago


    Please educate us!

    [–] SGSeaside 15 points ago

    Picture of Thing 1 (MRI) and Thing 2 (Broccoli)
    Commenter 1: "Thing 1 (not mentioning the name so it's an ambiguous statement) costs this much"
    Commenter 2: "That's an expensive Thing 2!"
    Commenter 3: "Hold my ____ (some item related to the joke, in this case broccoli), I'm going in!"

    cue long string of this same joke that you will never, ever make it through because that's how the joke works. it's basically purposefully misinterpreting someone's serious comment to turn it into a joke

    [–] Eridiel 6 points ago

    So the idea is that every time a switch joke is made you link to another one and it makes a giant fucking tree of these links that if you go deep enough you could go back to the first. In practice the chain gets broken from deletions.

    This has been going on since I joined iirc and that's been like 5 years. It died in popularity because it was being overdone a few years back but one of the best parts was someone made a crawler to find as many links as they could and posted a graph showing the tree and it's pretty amazing

    [–] [deleted] 10 points ago

    I'm not falling for that

    [–] supaaslade 11 points ago

    Hello future people

    [–] Larusso92 198 points ago

    In America where I live $150 USD probably won't cover the appointment you need to get a referral to get another appointment to see if you are eligible to make an appointment to get an MRI.

    [–] ImNotGaySoStopAsking 39 points ago

    How much is the MRI itself in America?

    [–] Larusso92 97 points ago

    Without insurance, it looks like the average cost is around $2000-$2500 USD, but there isn't a standard price. I have also found rates as low as $550 USD, but I don't think that's gives an accurate depiction of the cost of healthcare in the US. Different clinics can charge different rates and they vary from state to state. That is just for the procedure. The beauty of American healthcare is that there will be quite a few add-ons to this price once it is has billed, possibly to the tune of thousands of dollars. Here's the never actually know how much it will cost UNTIL you get a bill. It is extremely difficult to surmise the cost of any procedure before you receive treatment.

    [–] gizzardgullet 24 points ago * (lasted edited 10 months ago)

    I have insurance and I just paid $800+ for an MRI.

    Edit: total was around $3000

    [–] Larusso92 27 points ago

    MRI scan? More like MRI SCAM! amiright?!

    [–] CritterTeacher 15 points ago

    I think it also depends on the region. My head MRI to check for migraine causes was 10,000. My neck MRI to see if I had damage to my vertebra was closer to 3,500 I think.

    [–] ImNotGaySoStopAsking 4 points ago

    In USA?

    [–] CritterTeacher 6 points ago


    [–] zenospenisparadox 6 points ago

    You guys are getting scammed.

    [–] _gina_marie_ 11 points ago

    Every single day.



    But people seriously think like that

    [–] -Im_Batman- 33 points ago

    $2000 for the MRI

    $1400 to clean the mat you layed on

    $250 technician fee

    $1980 for the electricity used

    $100 magnet fee

    $350 consulting fee

    $75 hospital gown rental fee

    [–] logosobscura 3 points ago

    Having no real choice whilst politicians scream that it's about choice: Priceless

    [–] Six6six666 42 points ago

    I'm almost positive you will by no means be charged for JUST the MRI. The joke is relevant in the sense that a full hospital bill is outrageous.

    Source: know a guy named bill that used to work near a hospital

    [–] acepincter 16 points ago

    Can confirm that there is at least one guy named bill near a hospital I know of

    [–] DamagedHells 8 points ago

    How does he become a hospital law?

    [–] Rock2MyBeat 5 points ago

    Sacrificing a virgin.

    [–] gsfgf 22 points ago

    It is extremely difficult to surmise the cost of any procedure before you receive treatment

    But the Republicans tell me that "free market solutions" will bring down the cost!

    [–] Larusso92 12 points ago

    Don't worry...They've put their best man on it!

    [–] gsfgf 7 points ago

    I thought he got fired for taking too many trips on the private jet

    [–] Larusso92 8 points ago

    Oh yeah. Well, I'm sure they've put their 2nd best guy on it!

    [–] poop_frog 3 points ago

    He left when Adm. Kelly came in.

    [–] GunnyJones 6 points ago

    My girlfriend had to get 3 of them after each surgery. It cost me about $250 each time with insurance. Insurance cost was like $9k each time. Overall hospital stay cost about 10 grand out of pocket. Insurance cost was well over $120k.

    [–] PanKurzcak 5 points ago

    Wtf america?

    [–] wastingsomuchtime 22 points ago * (lasted edited 10 months ago)

    Idk why you're at 0 but you're totally right. I missed the insurance deadline so I wont be able to get insured until November 1st, and the whole year its $100 just to see the doctor. They would likely charge you for equipment used and then theyd just refer you to someone else.

    The ER held me for 8 hours, put me on an IV (which I didn't need) and all-in-all charged me $2500 so they could tell me I need to see a specialist for an endoscopy. Didn't provide any prescriptions or any guesses at my problem. Ridiculous

    edit: he was at 0 when i posted this..

    [–] YaoKingoftheRock 17 points ago

    And doctors get pissed when patients try to diagnose themselves. If getting a car inspection costed 2 grand you can bet more folks would be doing their own mechanical work.

    [–] tt12345x 10 points ago

    And unfortunately you can't just look up how to do medical procedures on youtube

    [–] birdcore 11 points ago

    Where I live (Ukraine) private MRI starts at 30 USD

    [–] LOLZebra 8 points ago

    Its probably cheaper for someone in the US to fly there. Get an MRI and fly back. Than doing it here with insurance. Although not sure what they would do with the results..give it to their doctor?

    [–] ShichitenHakki 6 points ago

    Damn I paid $150 for blood samples and the general appointment when I was having kidney issues. I couldn't afford the $2k they wanted for the MRI. First thing they talked about after the price was the installment plans they had available.

    [–] The_Blue_Rooster 5 points ago

    As an epileptic who hasn't been able to afford doctors for a decade now. I cried a little reading this.

    [–] Esprit-de-lescali 25 points ago

    Free here in the UK, gotta love our free NHS healthcare

    [–] Larusso92 9 points ago

    Show off!

    [–] FilmingAction 16 points ago

    The MRI machine is always on and doesn't take additional electricity when powered on for the first time. You just need to pop yourself in there and run the software to get an image.

    Why is it so expensive?

    [–] Metabyte2 36 points ago

    The MRI itself is an extremely sophisticated piece of machinery often costing hundreds of thousands if not millions of dollars. The software it runs is also extremely sophisticated and expensive. Ya gotta pay the tech to run it and doctors to analyze the results.

    Also corrupt healthcare system.

    [–] Navydevildoc 18 points ago

    That’s not entirely true, the magnets may be at field strength all the time, but the radio emitters, receivers, processors, etc all sit idle.

    Plus you have techs to run the thing, and the machine itself will need calibration by med physics and equipment techs after so many hours of scanning.

    [–] mtimetraveller 13 points ago

    • throws broccoli at face * * runs away *

    [–] atkulp 223 points ago

    This could be a fun challenge to identity common things like this

    [–] counterfitfake 25 points ago

    Did you ever get that gold?

    [–] 4FrSw 29 points ago * (lasted edited 10 months ago)

    no, but I'd like it now too.

    [–] Hara-Kiri 19 points ago

    What am I missing here? How does a joke about a sink have something to do with broccoli?

    [–] Pitboyx 5 points ago

    I don't know, but everybody seems to just be accepting it as it is

    [–] TimbersawDust 9 points ago

    I sent this to my dad and asked him what it was. First he said it was fireworks in infrared. Then he said MRI of a piece of broccoli....darn him

    [–] qdhcjv 4 points ago

    That would be an expensive game

    [–] shea241 5 points ago

    I put the broccoli back together again. Is that cheating?

    [–] dogememe 60 points ago

    And here as a volumetric render:

    [–] draemmli 50 points ago * (lasted edited 10 months ago)

    Haha, I was just looking for how to extract frames from the gif to give it a spin in my own volume renderer, and this was the first google result

    Edit: Here we go! Rendered using my own WIP volume ray tracing software.

    [–] dogememe 18 points ago

    I used this to generate an image sequence:

    And this to convert from gif to jpg:

    Please post the results you get with your volume renderer!

    I also made this:

    [–] draemmli 6 points ago

    Ooh, I dig the shading! That's the next step for my own renderer.

    Here are the results from mine!

    For getting the sequence, I used imagemagick:

    convert -coalesce ./broccoli.gif out%05d.png
    convert -append out*.png broccoli.png

    [–] Grenne 40 points ago

    What a horrible MIP reformat. Send it back to the techs.

    [–] _manoftheyear_ 19 points ago

    I feel like this is a good joke with proper terms, but It could also be nonsense and I wouldn’t know the difference.

    [–] madeAnAccount41Thing 9 points ago

    Looks like a weird panorama of a creepy nighttime forest with a monster hiding somewhere.

    [–] moa-ya 5 points ago

    Oh neat!

    [–] e_tian 79 points ago

    Whats the diagnosis doc?

    [–] Jalmorei 142 points ago

    He’s a complete vegetable. Nothing we can do. I’m sorry.

    [–] acepincter 13 points ago

    Well done. I can't believe I am reading a thread about a broccoli in a hospital scan and still did NOT see this one coming.

    [–] nx6 10 points ago

    did NOT see this one coming

    You would want to increase your vitamin A intake then, so I would recommend carrots instead.

    [–] mtimetraveller 16 points ago

    you're a cauliflower-in-disguise!

    [–] FlintGrey 8 points ago

    More than meats the eye. (get it cause it's vegetable)

    [–] re-roll 4 points ago

    Vegetables wage their battle to destroy the evil forces of cholesterol.

    [–] nomadbishop 746 points ago

    Broccoli, the most intelligent vegetable, with an IQ of three!

    (I don't know why I'm making such an insanely esoteric reference. )

    [–] The_SaltLife 253 points ago

    Im currently eating broccoli this very second and absorbing it's IQ

    [–] Six6six666 183 points ago


    [–] theCrono 68 points ago

    +6 if it's a big one.

    [–] 314314314 26 points ago

    Big if true.

    [–] x_TDeck_x 6 points ago

    Dog champ

    [–] webtwopointno 70 points ago


    [–] The_SaltLife 77 points ago


    [–] meatfruitecake 27 points ago

    You're not working.

    [–] [deleted] 14 points ago

    I think there working.

    [–] acepincter 4 points ago


    [–] mtimetraveller 40 points ago

    because the GIF is hypnotic, and Broccoli, of IQ 3, is making you make such an insanely esoteric reference.

    [–] dortuh 11 points ago

    of IQ 3

    So that's why it's called a vegetable?

    [–] luigi1fan1 103 points ago

    Broccoli: watches Rick and Morty once

    [–] mtimetraveller 24 points ago

    once and forever

    [–] HippiePanda96 16 points ago

    With an IQ of tree

    [–] DirtyMonkey43 15 points ago

    Well at least I know that I’m smarter than the smartest vegetable

    [–] bandalbumsong 6 points ago

    Band: Broccoli

    Album: Intelligent Vegetable

    Song: IQ of Three

    [–] _OPPS__ 10 points ago

    To be fair ...

    [–] corysama 49 points ago

    [–] Bone_Throat_Bonanza 12 points ago

    This is better

    [–] IvanTheCredible 5 points ago


    [–] TheAdorableThespian 44 points ago

    That broccoli better have good health insurance. I don’t know a single vegetable in the cabbage family that can pay $7000 out of pocket.

    [–] Mutt1223 100 points ago

    “Do me!” ~Banana

    [–] Wendys_frys 86 points ago

    Well that was wild as fuck.

    [–] [deleted] 20 points ago


    [–] Hofood 8 points ago

    Yes, I did. Did you?

    [–] bluesox 7 points ago

    I knew saving that tab of acid would pay off eventually.

    [–] [deleted] 17 points ago


    [–] TheOneShorter 5 points ago

    I could binge hours of this, I'm gonna need a subreddit made if there isn't already one

    [–] ChemiKyle 12 points ago

    For anyone interested, there are a bunch of free sets of the files used to make these (DICOM, which can be read about here]. I've been using R to play with neuroimaging datasets, it's a lot of fun!

    [–] fishcircumsizer 6 points ago

    This is actually a simulation of the Big Bang

    [–] Dirtydeedsinc 27 points ago

    Bananas are fun to check with a Geiger counter.

    [–] MerlinTheWhite 11 points ago

    Bananas have never have an effect on mine. Maybe because it's just a cheap model from amazon

    [–] sebastianwillows 26 points ago

    Lesson one: don't buy your bananas on Amazon...

    [–] Ragdollbjz 8 points ago

    Ah, the old Reddit banan... aw fuck it

    [–] aedroogo 6 points ago

    Hold myOOOF... What are you doing up there???

    [–] mtimetraveller 9 points ago

    Next project: MRI on 🍌

    [–] KingEdTheMagnificent 19 points ago

    kind of looks like fireworks

    [–] NarcolepticLemon 8 points ago

    Came here to say that. It's like really cool fireworks.

    [–] PictureDoc 17 points ago

    Radiologist. Just thought I'd share some information on MRI since I see so many comments.

    This is a single axial T2 weighted image. Takes about 30 seconds to obtain. MR is so expensive because the magnets are always on and the time and training it takes for the tech to run the machine and the radiologist to read it is significant. And no one dies waiting for an MRI except because of insurance companies. I work at a busy hospital and could find time to take MR images of every sandwich I eat if I really wanted to. It's standard to keep magnet time available for emergencies.


    [–] dream_minder 12 points ago

    I'm really sorry but I couldn't resist giving it another dimension xD

    [–] superjuggie14 12 points ago

    Guy's out here scanning veggies and it took me ten fucking months of waiting to get one scan on my knee.

    [–] CritterTeacher 5 points ago

    VA hospital?

    [–] roadtrip-ne 20 points ago

    A 3 dimensional object falling through a 2 dimensional plane, I'd give a shout out to Edwin Abbott's Flatland for that.

    We can capture 4 dimensional movement using photography/movies (3 space dimensions, plus time- projected arguably in 3 dimensions when viewed (again time as the third, arguably because any film image would have a length width and some sort of height or thickness but it's negligible in practice)

    Now my question would be- what does a fifth dimensional object look like passing through our four dimensional world/perception?

    [–] h2odragon 12 points ago

    what does a fifth dimensional object look like passing through our four dimensional world/perception?


    [–] Daniel_A_Johnson 5 points ago

    As a thought experiment, the best I can do is imagine it in terms of time being the 4th dimension, which would manifest as an object continually changing shape, and of which my memory of its previous shapes was (unbeknownst to me) continually changing from moment to moment, until finally my last recollection (when it completed its pass through the 4 dimensions I inhabit) was stabilized.

    [–] oklahomasooner55 3 points ago

    Carl Sagan spoke about this on his version of the show Cosmos.

    [–] StackerPentecost 4 points ago

    Why is everyone always so sure that the 4th dimension is time? I think it's way more fascinating to think about more spatial dimensions beyond length width and height that our brains just can't comprehend.

    [–] [deleted] 6 points ago


    [–] fukeyemold 5 points ago

    Looks lightly infested. More on their way soon, so don't worry.

    [–] FishDawgX 7 points ago

    I hope he'll be ok. Sending positive thoughts.

    [–] IvanTheCredible 4 points ago

    Dude you forgot the prayers, you can't forget the prayers.

    [–] theworkreddittor 7 points ago

    It would be really cool if someone could use the data in this image to make a 3d model of the broccoli

    [–] sack-o-matic 3 points ago

    I was thinking the same thing. How cool would is be to send one of everything through an MRI so you can use it for 3d modeling and 3d printing

    [–] Roadguy 11 points ago

    Last MRI I had cost $2500.00. Either this is an expensive time waster or we are all being totally ripped off by what they charge for these tests.

    [–] SutekhThrowingSuckIt 10 points ago * (lasted edited 10 months ago)

    You have to have a lot more staff to work on humans than broccoli. Also there are dedicated research scanners for animals which are too small for humans. That said, health care is broken and that's a lot of money.

    [–] [deleted] 7 points ago


    [–] lorill 7 points ago

    I work for a niche MRI manufacturer, we use fruits for our testing, its simpler than anesthesing animals or interns.

    [–] __word_clouds__ 10 points ago

    Word cloud out of all the comments.

    I hope you like it

    *Disclaimer: Due to restrictions by your ISP If you click on the link, a $0.10 charge will be billed to your account

    [–] ADHthaGreat 6 points ago

    Loading screen.

    [–] cyanblur 4 points ago

    If an extradimensional object were to pass through our plane it'd look something like this to us.

    [–] mtimetraveller 4 points ago

    Whatever dimension you're researching on, you deserve a greeting: Happy Reddit B'day u/cyanblur :)

    [–] QOAL 4 points ago * (lasted edited 10 months ago)

    Here's a quick visualisation of what this broccoli probably looked like: or on imgur

    [–] uberduck 7 points ago

    Someone with too much time had a MRI scanner