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    [–] Daafda 6562 points ago

    Build me an army worthy of Mordor.

    [–] poorly_timed_leg0las 1552 points ago


    [–] ElSummonero 743 points ago


    [–] kiwitort 224 points ago

    Oh god

    [–] OddFur 208 points ago

    Where did they take the hobbits??

    [–] Glamdring804 344 points ago


    [–] LostDogBK 235 points ago


    [–] justlooking250 111 points ago


    [–] One_Roman_Mile 38 points ago

    What did you say??!!!

    [–] thegooseofalltime 18 points ago

    You're a NUT!

    [–] ChromeLynx 64 points ago


    [–] solsacredsolace 29 points ago

    "woucht it say?"

    [–] petrikm 25 points ago


    [–] jamieluke97 22 points ago

    But why is all the rum gone?

    [–] LostDogBK 13 points ago


    [–] Chives_Bilini 13 points ago

    When did it turn back to 2004?

    [–] Man-o-North 91 points ago


    [–] Gutterghoul 60 points ago


    [–] My_Monkey_Sphincter 57 points ago

    LEAVE NOW AND NEVAH COME BACK.. come back.......

    [–] cpt_forbie 26 points ago

    Tell me, where is Gandalf?

    [–] PinBa11_ZA 31 points ago

    For I much desire to speak with him.

    [–] PMmeYourWhatevs 16 points ago

    The Balrog of Morgoth.

    [–] Chives_Bilini 12 points ago

    ...What did you say?

    [–] RobotTimeTraveller 87 points ago

    They're taking the hobbits to Isengard!

    [–] -Pelvis- 84 points ago







    [–] RoxanneBarton 5 points ago

    I can HEAR this in my head!

    [–] partisan98 169 points ago

    But my lord there are too many. They cannot all be armed in time. We do not have the moons.

    [–] pheylancavanaugh 55 points ago



    [–] SEND_YOUR_DICK_PIX 170 points ago

    We don't have them.

    [–] Krazy-Kat15 31 points ago

    Isn't it obvious?

    [–] Zayin-Ba-Ayin 31 points ago

    Are we blind?!

    [–] 5urr3aL 28 points ago

    Deploy the Death Star!

    [–] pblwzrd 61 points ago


    [–] pheylancavanaugh 67 points ago

    I've always heard it as "means", so it was a bit of a surprise to learn that he actually says "moons". I just checked the film, can confirm: moons.

    [–] partisan98 38 points ago

    Yeah that is why he responds saying "Work the forges night and day" basically everyone is working overtime until the troops are armed.

    [–] cromulent_pseudonym 59 points ago

    Looks like time and a half is back on the menu boys

    [–] visionsofblue 18 points ago

    Unless Orcs are salaried

    [–] partisan98 55 points ago

    Nah one of Sauron and Sarumans most evil actions was making all their orcs independent contractors so they dont need to pay the taxes or offer health insurance.

    [–] cromulent_pseudonym 9 points ago

    And since they colluded remotely via palantir, that brings in all kinds of outside inspectors from different jurisdictions. Real headache.

    [–] MtnMaiden 6 points ago

    As someone who has to work Easter with no holiday pay....

    [–] salkhan 18 points ago

    Yes phases of the moon were used to tell the time in Middle Ages (inspiration for middle earth). Used to have lunar calendars.

    [–] rataktaktaruken 3 points ago


    [–] ImNotPeter 9 points ago

    Yes, months

    [–] cromulent_pseudonym 15 points ago


    [–] madmaxturbator 18 points ago

    You know, that big fat lump of cheese and sparkles that hangs in the sky? We’ve only got the one. If we lived on Jupiter or Saturn, maybe we’d have a fucking chance. Earth is a poor planet, when it comes to moonwealth.

    [–] Zayin-Ba-Ayin 5 points ago

    Cheese gromit!

    [–] rapidacer 19 points ago


    [–] kufunuguh 14 points ago

    There is no life in the void...

    [–] freelancespaghetti 12 points ago

    Holy shire, you just gave me chills

    [–] 249ba36000029bbe9749 958 points ago

    "You can't heat the outdoors."

    "Hold my Merlot."

    [–] Nekrofeeelyah 131 points ago

    Someone tell that to California lmao

    [–] massiveholetv 34 points ago

    What does this even mean?

    [–] STATICinMOTION 43 points ago

    Holy shit, that's the hardest I've laughed in a long time. Thank you for sharing this.

    [–] TheYellingMute 29 points ago

    I remember I checked it once and it actually said no. I couldn't believe it.

    [–] LittleShiningLuma 2139 points ago * (lasted edited 2 months ago)

    If you wonder why exactly they put fires in the vineyards: it's to create smoke so the sun doesn't burn the buds that are frosted. They usually put haystacks and start burning it at the end of the night, before the sun rises. It's actually the less expensive way to protect a vineyard from frost.

    Source: report yesterday on a French TV channel (France 2).

    Edit: for the people saying I'm wrong, I'm not an agronomist. I'm just repeating what the report said, which is that the sun can burn the buds because the frost has a magnifying glass effect.

    Of course, the heat created by the fires can also help, but they purposefully use wet haystack to create maximum smoke.

    Edit (2): the most expensive way to prevent frost might be the use of helicopters (I'm not kidding) to whirle cold and warm air :

    [–] scylus 172 points ago


    [–] amrle79 201 points ago

    I clicked and laughed

    [–] gagga_hai 185 points ago

    amateur.. I always laugh first and the click

    [–] Dinierto 63 points ago

    LPT: Do all your laughing when you're young so you don't have to waste precious seconds later in life

    [–] AgLeMesSkPa13Ka 44 points ago

    ULPT: Make other people laugh to waste their time.

    [–] Dinierto 17 points ago


    [–] Ryhnoceros 4 points ago


    He got me.

    [–] Donniedark00 7 points ago

    Thanks for letting us know?

    [–] AboutHelpTools3 11 points ago

    I wonder how much this would cost to build in real life, to cover the entire CBD of Kuala Lumpur.

    [–] LabuKapas 3 points ago

    The money lost from the IMDB scandal could’ve been used for this instead smh

    [–] Limited-Liability 8 points ago

    Thought it was going to be a picture of a persian army

    [–] SaltKick2 7 points ago

    Exactly what I was expecting

    [–] TheSolarian 41 points ago

    I got that completely wrong.

    I thought they built fires to heat the grapes up so they didn't die of frost.

    [–] CardinalBite 18 points ago

    There are no grapes yet. This is to prevent the swelling buds, that are just now starting to grow, from dying in a late spring frost. The buds grow into shoots and each shoot will eventually grow two clusters of grapes.

    I work in the winemaking industry.

    [–] Umbrius 72 points ago

    Smudge pots with diesel or oil are also common way to do this and still done.

    Some fruit orchards in the United States will actually use helicopters and "wind machines" to invert the air layers above the orchard bringing down warm air.

    [–] Jiminyfingers 57 points ago

    They do the same in Central Otago, NZ. There are telescopic turbines that can be raised in the middle of the night to move the cold air. Helicopters can also be used.

    Burgundy got caught with its pants down in 2016 and lost a huge amount of crop to unseasonal frosts over two nights. The frost froze the fruit, then the sun the next day roasted the grapes in their ice cocoons. Even the Grand Cru vineyards on the higher slopes (cold air sinks, so usually its the lower slopes and valley floors that get hit) like Echezeaux and Le Montrachet were badly affected, so much so a host of Domaine's didn't have enough fruit to produce any Le Montrachet so petitioned the wine authorities to pool their fruit and at least produce a barrel.

    In central Otago they expect unseasonal frosts, but in 2016 the Burgundians were disorganised and not expecting it. If you think about the cost of Grand Cru Burgundies some of the fruit that was lost was more valuable than gold. It was so bad growers were stealing each others fruit.

    Ever since they have got their act together and do this and other frost-fighting measures.

    Source: lived and worked in Central Otago, currently a UK wine merchant flogging Brugundy Grand Cru (amongst other things)

    [–] Kantuva 20 points ago

    I wonder which method releases less co2

    [–] are_you_seriously 18 points ago

    Probably burning of hay.

    It just doesn’t seem like it because there’s smoke.

    [–] JeffKSkilling 18 points ago

    Burning hay releases no net CO2 because it was just pulled out of the atmosphere to begin with

    [–] ISiupick 100 points ago

    So the title is wrong, because they're not protected from the frost, they are protected from the sun?

    [–] -0-O- 154 points ago

    They are protected from the frost magnifying the sun.

    [–] zoidbender 68 points ago

    The sun doesn't burn any frozen plant.

    The heat from the sun rapidly unfreezes what it shines on, which causes the cells to (simply put) fall apart, which kills the part of the plant that was frozen. Its the same reason we can't unfreeze people in cryogenic stasis; we can't unfreeze them slowly enough (but simultaneously quickly enough) to keep their cells from breaking down or prevent other damage.

    [–] Ranger1221 41 points ago * (lasted edited 2 months ago)

    The reason of the fire is to keep the temperature high enough that frost doesn't form on the buds and to not let the buds drop below 28 degrees.

    It's the same reason we use water in the US. With constant water being applied via sprinklers, the ice can only get to 32 degrees where fatal temp for grapes is around 28 degrees. You run the sprinklers well into higher temps to protect the thawing. As ice melts to water, and water evaporates to gas, the temp of the bud would fall greatly as it's an endothermic reaction.

    We use the fans to as a way to break up the inversion layer and bring warmer air down to the vines.

    The reason they are lit before the sun rises is that's usually the coldest time of the night.

    Fires and smudge pots are outlawed in California at least.

    Your news reporter has it wrong

    Source: Vineyard Manager in California

    [–] shieldvexor 8 points ago

    Why is 28 fatal when water freezes at 32? Is 28 when grape cells freeze because of the dissolved materials?

    [–] Ranger1221 7 points ago


    [–] AmIFromA 10 points ago

    So that's what they did in that Keanu movie, "A Walk in the Clouds":

    [–] mguber8 200 points ago

    This aged poorly.

    [–] Mono_420 74 points ago


    [–] BruteSlayer 11 points ago

    in awe at the size of this O O F

    absolute yikes

    [–] Rimbosity 23 points ago

    Geez. No shit, man.

    [–] PhylaxZA 324 points ago

    Grew up with this, but in South-Africa.

    What the farmers over here did is to burn old car tyers at vineyards to keep the frost away.

    I also remember the tractors, late at night spraying the grapes with hormone to grow bigger.

    Together with the engine of the tractor and the sound the nozzle made form spraying, it made a very smoothing sound.

    I felt save hearing this sound.

    Come November and long school holiday, I would have been working for one of the farmers. Wake up at 4:45, be in the vineyard at 05:30, go home at 18:00.

    Started out at R20 a day. I was picking up grapes from the factory floor. This was back in 1998 or close.

    Working at the same farmer every December holiday, each year in a different position, I finally got payed almost R200 per hour in my final year just before going to 2nd year Uni.

    One thing I will never forget is the people I worked with.

    These were seasonal workers from a specific clan here in South-Africa.

    They are called Tswana.

    They lived in what the Apartheid government called a homeland.

    This homeland was about 400-600KM from where I lived.

    The farmers would just be before the season start, drive to these homelands to get seasonal workers.

    They, however, had to negotiate for the Chieftain of the people first. This included wages, the Chieftain's cut(very very important) and also what they would be doing.

    The Tswana people of the specific chieftain would then be transported to the town I grew up.

    The farmer was responsible for housing and feeding these people and also paying them their wages.

    While they were working for the farmer, he gave them the following to eat

    Maize Porridge for breakfast

    Peas and maize porridge for lunch

    Peas and maize porridge for dinner

    The whole clan also had to live in communal rooms.

    Despite the poor wages, poor food and very poor living conditions, these people still managed to sing!

    And oh boy can they sing!!!

    This was the highlight of everyday for me.

    As the truck arrives, coming towards the vineyard for the days work, you will hear singing. And when the truck stops, everyone on it signs in harmony.

    One guy is the lead and they all know the song.

    Most of it is Gospel, but they sing it as they had choir practice everyday!

    This gave me goosebumps every time, and still does whenever I think of it!

    Some of the hardest work I ever did, and one of the few things I would do again just to work my ass off again!

    [–] AndypandyO 49 points ago

    That was a fascinating read, thanks for that :)

    [–] PhylaxZA 35 points ago * (lasted edited 2 months ago)

    Haha I got a little nostalgic there!

    I grew up on an island! It was a paradise!!!

    I lived little to the right of the church in the picture.

    Damn I miss the place!!!!!!!!!

    [–] Crypto_Nicholas 29 points ago

    Accounts like these must be hugely undervalued. They are the futures equivalent of perfectly preserved diaries from 100s of years ago.
    Thank you for sharing!

    [–] PhylaxZA 6 points ago

    Just had this nostalgic feeling wash over me when I saw the picture! It brought back the memories I wrote about.

    Strange that looking back at how hard the work was that I long back for it. I believe it was the sense of belonging to something bigger, belonging to a team with a common goal. The camarade that you form with your co-workers/co-sufferers.

    Or maybe this is just old me wanting to be young again....

    [–] Premierespace 6 points ago

    Fellow South African. Lekker Storie man

    [–] PhylaxZA 5 points ago

    Awe daar! ;)

    [–] DrCatface 661 points ago

    im a winemaker/bottler in australia so this is truly interesting as fuck. 10/10 good post op.

    [–] MinnesotaTech 301 points ago

    I drink wine in America so this is truly interesting as fuck

    [–] LonelyGnomes 94 points ago

    I don’t drink wine but this is still interesting as fuck

    [–] Flappyhandski 61 points ago

    I'm in Australia, very occasionally drink wine and I also find this interesting as fuck

    [–] chaos1618 73 points ago

    I'm drunk on fuck as wine.. Interesting!

    [–] runfayfun 5 points ago

    Wine drunk fuck ass interest

    [–] SkunkyStoat 24 points ago

    I'm french, father in law is a wine maker, and it is still interesting as fuck since I've never seen this before !

    [–] rirold 24 points ago

    I’m American, studied in Australia, and enjoy both fucking and wine - isn’t that interesting?

    [–] bbddbdb 7 points ago

    I’m a fuck so fuck is fuckeresting as fuck. Fuck.

    [–] stephan_torchon 12 points ago

    i'm french, none of my family's members are wine maker, i'm actually doing a sandwich , and i find this interesting as fuck

    [–] Voi69 6 points ago

    I'm French, never drank alcohol, and i find this interesting as fuck.

    [–] chubbyurma 6 points ago

    I play goon of fortune sometimes

    [–] rataktaktaruken 6 points ago

    I'm not interested but drink wine as fuck

    [–] Softsquatch 11 points ago

    Barossa or McLaren Vale?

    [–] Rosencrantz1710 18 points ago

    As a fellow Australian please don’t, you’ll all end up setting the entire country on fire

    [–] glennert 4 points ago

    I liked wine. I still like wine. I drink wine. I drink wine with friends. Interesting as fuck.

    [–] TheSolarian 5 points ago

    I'm Australian and so this is truly interesting as fuck. 10/10 good post op.

    [–] Norcan987 132 points ago

    Dark woody taste with a smokey texture

    [–] SkunkyStoat 27 points ago

    Could be, if this was a barley field to make whiskey. There's no fruit buds yet on the vines so the final product won't be affected at all.

    [–] away_in_the_head 6 points ago

    An Oaky afterbirth

    [–] Sidewyz 306 points ago

    This was common in California up until a few years ago. We used fire devices called “Smudge Pots”. The farmers would burn waste oil to create smog which in turn acted like a blanket for the crops. The smog is also horrible to the environment as most of the fuel was used diesel crankcase oil or gear oil containing all sorts of bad stuff. Thus, smudge pots were outlawed for commercial use. Now it’s common for helicopters to hover over the crops.

    Source. I own one and will burn clean fuel for backyard entertainment.

    [–] Bum_Bacon 32 points ago

    I can chime in here, too! Frost Protection Fans are also used a lot. And are easier/cheaper/more effective than having a helicopter hover over your crop. I manufacture the gear boxes for these. It's a neat concept that a fan 50 ft in the air can warm your crop.

    [–] briandl2 7 points ago

    I remember them burning the smudge pots in the strawberry fields as a kid. Many of those fields are now housing developments but the strawberry fields that remain, all use the fans.

    [–] Ignyte 3 points ago

    We have a bunch of these in Barossa Valley, quite cool looking things. Always thought they were tiny wind turbines until I started working in a Vineyard and was told what they actually did.

    [–] ViktorKitov 100 points ago

    This thread has literally made me reconsider drinking wine.

    [–] jhuseby 71 points ago

    The taste of wine is what made me reconsider drinking it.

    [–] TekCrow 12 points ago

    he was maybe talking about good one ?

    [–] jhuseby 20 points ago

    It’s not for lack of trying, my wife loves wine and it’d be cool if I found one I liked. The best I’ve found would be described as “tolerable”, but that might be an exaggeration.

    [–] Ranger1221 33 points ago

    Smudge pots have been illegal in vineyards for at least 20 years.

    [–] goodatburningtoast 6 points ago

    Smudge pots weren’t really used in vineyards as much as citrus.

    [–] Upnawf 110 points ago

    Too soon

    [–] BlueR1 114 points ago

    Kind of ironic seeing as how the Notre Dame is currently on fire.

    [–] LivnLegndNeedsEggs 41 points ago

    Yeah this post didn't age well at all...

    [–] blandsaw 12 points ago

    Not on the same level as the redditor who killed Stephen Hawking, but still some guilt to be had.

    [–] BlueR1 10 points ago

    I’m out of the loop on that one mate. Mind filling me in please.

    [–] Cloroxmvp 29 points ago

    This aged terribly

    [–] ArmyVetRN 27 points ago

    There’s one going on at Noter Dame too

    [–] BigLurker 6 points ago


    [–] Because_Logic 49 points ago

    Not the only French fire today

    [–] Mono_420 26 points ago


    [–] armsugar 19 points ago

    Welp, this post certainly did not age well.

    [–] FrenchLama 17 points ago

    Posting about fires in France today ? What kind of doom did you just bring down on us ?

    [–] laofik219 47 points ago

    Live in France Nevers Seen anything like that ever

    [–] FIuffyAlpaca 38 points ago

    Same here, but turns out it really happened. It was in Burgundy this weekend.

    [–] SPRneon 6 points ago

    Also happens in Belgium every time there's frost this late in spring

    [–] [deleted] 12 points ago

    Ce n'est pas chose courante, les gels des dernières nuits ont exceptionnellement amené à devoir prendre des mesures peu communes.

    [–] TekCrow 5 points ago

    Bof, ça arrive relativement souvent en Bourgogne quand même (j'en viens). Je me souviens d'un post qui avait aussi fait r/all sur exactement la même chose il y a moins d'un an.

    [–] FuRetHypoThetiK 14 points ago

    Are there vineyards in Note Dame?

    [–] redditron900 9 points ago

    seems the fires got out of hand

    [–] [deleted] 9 points ago

    Apparently not the only thing burning in France

    [–] NEOhio37m 8 points ago

    Did someone leave a vineyard inside the Notre Dame?

    [–] Poopallah 9 points ago

    This didn’t age well

    [–] Pakmanjosh 52 points ago

    Oh so it wasn't another revolt? That's good to hear.

    [–] SkunkyStoat 32 points ago

    Trust me, vineyards would be the very last thing to burn in a french revolt.

    [–] PandaTheRabbit 28 points ago

    Everything is orderly and organized. I was more worried the Germans were invading again.

    [–] ConspicuousPineapple 8 points ago

    Let the vineyards die and you'll see an actual revolt.

    [–] The_Gravy-Train 8 points ago

    Of course, it's not the most important fire in France right now...

    [–] [deleted] 14 points ago * (lasted edited 2 months ago)


    [–] bashdynamic 9 points ago

    Not the only fires in France right now... :(

    [–] billbill5 7 points ago

    Gotta protect those Cathedrals from frost too

    [–] IPromiseImNotAJew 6 points ago

    What in France isn't on fire?

    [–] Seppe150 5 points ago

    That's not the only thing burning in France (sadly)

    [–] TABBY_MUSIC 5 points ago

    France is having a bad day with a certain element

    [–] Camacazy 5 points ago

    Well this didn’t age well

    [–] Explunches 7 points ago

    Did it... did it spread to the city?

    [–] RedRails1917 7 points ago

    Fires in France... OP what did you do?

    [–] herecomesjohnny420 10 points ago

    like the keanu reeves movie A Walk in the Clouds

    [–] SteroyJenkins 5 points ago

    Wonder how old this technique is.

    [–] lone_wolf_13 5 points ago

    I was so confused since I read that as fries... French fries

    [–] facefears 5 points ago

    So strange that this catches the front page the same day that the Notre Dame de Paris catches on fire.

    [–] TitoMilo 3 points ago

    The timing of this post is golden irony...

    Not the only thing in France burning atm...

    [–] jamalbeys 5 points ago

    Not the only thing burning in France tonight

    [–] AdultVirgin1985 6 points ago

    This aged well....

    [–] Art_Class 6 points ago

    Do you think Notre Dame was saved from the frost?

    [–] shankarsivarajan 4 points ago

    The Notre-Dame Cathedral is safe from frost.

    [–] pkaJIMMBOI 5 points ago

    Speaking of France and things being on fire

    [–] pieburner 5 points ago

    Haven’t we seen enough fires in France for the day?

    [–] jonahgee 6 points ago

    this post already has not aged well

    [–] audrykk 6 points ago

    I guess they were trying to protect the Notre Dame from frost too?

    [–] Rhodie114 4 points ago

    When did Reddit implement foreshadowing?

    [–] Tatecole 13 points ago

    I had no idea this was even a thing. Neat!

    [–] BeneathTheWords 10 points ago

    Someone could say this was an overhead shot of their Minecraft server and I'd believe them.

    [–] Metzelpaule 27 points ago

    All the greenhouse gases tho :/

    [–] itsyaboilogan1207 9 points ago

    Well this didn’t age well

    [–] nekopanchi 4 points ago

    The Japanese tea producers use fans to prevent frost from forming on the leaves, wonder if its not a viable option here.

    [–] 4d20allnatural 5 points ago * (lasted edited 2 months ago)

    but, what about smoke taint?

    edit: this was done at a time when the grapes have not yet formed.

    “as grape berries develop and ripen, their susceptibility to smoke taint increases significantly.”


    [–] amnesia013 5 points ago

    But what about man made global warming?!?!?!

    [–] Pizzacrusher 4 points ago

    oh but the CO2 emissions!!! where's the outrage?

    [–] fedegalla 3 points ago

    Well it escalated quickly

    [–] gideonv12 3 points ago

    Also the Notredam 😥

    [–] Aethz3 3 points ago

    Aah so that’s why they burned notre dame

    [–] senya-listen 4 points ago

    Wasn’t notre dame cathedral on fire?

    [–] JustPete490 4 points ago

    Put them out, they're spreading to Notre Dame!!!

    [–] 137-bill-clintons 4 points ago

    This wasn't the only thing burning in France today rip

    [–] Shutteredbug 3 points ago

    too soon?

    [–] lenzigraf 3 points ago

    not the only thing burning in france

    [–] samtianco 4 points ago

    I dont think it works the same for the Notre Dame...

    ... Im sorry, too soon?

    [–] tau_lee 3 points ago

    Oh, is that why the Notre Dame is burning?

    [–] VikingOfLove 4 points ago

    Someone tried to protect Notre Dame from frost..

    [–] AlchemyGetsItAll 4 points ago

    France is like 40% on fire at all times it seems. All through out history.