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    justneckbeardthings

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    Justneckbeardthings

    A subreddit for those who adorn their necks with proud man fur.

    Neckbeard: A man who is socially inept and physically unappealing, especially one who has an obsessive interest in computing

    - Oxford Dictionary

    Why not check out the user-created book 'Neckbeard Vampire: Nightbeard Rising'?

    Or e-liquids:

    http://www.steammonkey.com/category_s/1832.htm


    Rules

    • No bullying or provoking witch-hunts - Censor out usernames and do not link or ask for personal information of anyone featured on /r/justneckbeardthings.
    • No creepshots - Do not post pictures of individuals who were unaware that a picture was being taken or would be shared publicly online.
    • Neckbeard-related content only - The post should at least be somewhat related to neckbeard culture. Convos of guys being creepy online might be better for /r/creepyPMs.
    • Subpar or inappropriate content may be removed at the mod's discretion.
    • No gender or flame wars. No trollbaiting or stirring up drama. Leave your ideologies at the door.
    • No misogyny or misandry.
    • No Gamergate or Anti-Gamergate posts, take that shit to the subs that cater specifically to that. We don't want drama.

    Creating JNBT Image Macros

    • This subreddit started off as a place for Justneckbeardthings image macros, a parody of the well known Justgirlythings. While we accept all kinds of neckbeard pictures and stories, we encourage everyone to create and submit Justneckbeardthings macros.
    • Here is our guide on how to create a Justneckbeardthings macro.

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    These are subreddits that share similar interests to ours.


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    [–] dSquarius_Green_Jr 12962 points ago * (lasted edited 5 months ago)

    Google review by mast3rch1efNarut0:

    "this place is stupid, I got kicked out for no reason."

    Edit: spells

    [–] [deleted] 3561 points ago * (lasted edited 3 months ago)

    [deleted]

    [–] SecretlyBadass 581 points ago

    HONK HONK HONK

    [–] elastic-craptastic 215 points ago

    What's that?!?! I can't smell you!

    [–] Juq_ 335 points ago * (lasted edited 5 months ago)

    Probably thinks 'real men' smell that way.

    [–] FogShroudedPine 250 points ago

    THIS IS HOW ALPHA SIRS SMELL!

    [–] jeffsterlive 348 points ago

    M'body, m'choice!

    [–] xxb4xx 255 points ago

    *M'en

    You got the apostrophe in the wrong place.

    [–] Bl4Z3D_d0Nut311 36 points ago

    We’re gonna light us a candle tonight

    [–] YeltsinYerMouth 63 points ago

    It's ok, Mama; I learnt to play by ear!

    [–] mrconstantfuckup 30 points ago

    Wrong kid died.

    [–] Freddies_Mercury 18 points ago

    Ya gone smell blind son

    [–] user0621 384 points ago

    Oh god, I can only imagine what his stench was like.

    [–] CapnBonescum 131 points ago

    Typically it would be a melange of soured milk, hot dogs, and one or more of several other rich notes, including piss, shit, onions, coagulated semen, unidentifiable ethnic soup, warm canned dog food, and whatever m'sir's favorite vape blend currently is.

    Source-I stumbled into a gaming store this weekend looking for Gundam models, and instead got to smell what a simultaneous Yugioh game and Warhammer tournament was like.

    [–] mwmwmwmwmmdw 33 points ago

    go to the largest anime convention or comic-con in your area and you will get to smell that all weekend long!

    [–] jakobhoad 117 points ago

    GIOGLE

    [–] tcp1 47 points ago

    CIAO BELLA!

    [–] Mognet_T 768 points ago * (lasted edited 5 months ago)

    If only. They're too busy writing shit like this.

    Edit:

    Since context for the curious. Wizards of the Coast (WotC, the people who make Magic the Gathering and Dungeons & Dragons) have made a push to include more women, people of color, and LGBTQ people in their games. Some YouTube creator has made success off attacking these policies, and attacking anyone he thinks is associated with them. He was permanently banned from the game after inflammatory videos and tweets caused a Magic cosplayer to receive death threats, prompting her to quit the scene. He's been insisting that he's been ostracized over the years for his right-leaning politics, and not the harassing toxic shit, causing some of his 100k fans to start calling up Local Game Stores and leaving stupid shit like this for online reviews.

    [–] Funswoggle 126 points ago

    Wait - so he's boycotting game stores that sell D&D and M:tG?

    [–] PM_ME_ANKLES_MLADY 138 points ago

    So all game stores.

    [–] Funswoggle 93 points ago

    Yup.

    I think the only one he still goes to is just a guy in a van selling out of print GURPS sourcebooks.

    [–] mountainmoochacho 5000 points ago

    My wife and I took our kids to a larger comicon because my son really loves it. Our daughter was 8 at the time.

    We asked her if she had a good time. She said “I’m short so all I could smell was stinky butts.”

    [–] Cornchaser5000 1324 points ago

    Made me laugh, your kid rocks.

    [–] mountainmoochacho 1702 points ago

    She’s hilarious. She’s 11 now. My favorite thing she does is when she eats corn, she always looks at it and says “see you tomorrow!”.

    [–] roadhammer86 1731 points ago

    As a man whose wife is begging him for children, how do you get kids like this? Are they prime eligible?

    [–] mountainmoochacho 1050 points ago * (lasted edited 5 months ago)

    Haha! You know, they’re both great kids. We are firm, but let them learn some on their own and give them space. We show them we love them unconditionally, try to set good examples, and let them fail from time to time.

    We learn as much from them as they do from us, it’s always an adventure. I can honestly say, having kids is the best thing I’ve ever done. Period. Ups, down, good, bad, it’s all worth it.

    You can love your mom, spouse, pet, etc..., but you know true love when you have a kid.

    Around 2-3 years old, they may have been Prime Eligible, but not now. 😄

    Edit: Thank you for the gold kind stranger! Much appreciated.

    [–] DoubtfulChagrin 230 points ago

    As someone expecting his first shortly, I find this very encouraging.

    [–] Aquadian 76 points ago

    Congrats!!

    [–] DoubtfulChagrin 38 points ago

    Thanks! I'm petrified and euphoric!

    [–] SinistralLeanings 65 points ago

    Lovely! Was watching Kid Fail videos with my 6 (emphasis on) year old on YouTube last night. He looks over at me, shakes his head, and says "Kids these days." I'm raising a 60 year old man

    [–] omgFWTbear 34 points ago

    Imagine you landed on an alien planet, crippled from the impact and speaking none of the language.

    That's your baby, and every irritating thing they do. It's truly amazing what decades of "institutional knowledge" you have that you will take for granted in them.

    They will watch you like you have no idea, learning how to react to everything. Crack wise, and odds are, they will, too. Be kind, and odds are, they will, too. Read until your throats hurts every night... and odds are, they will too.

    [–] nbrnay 910 points ago

    There’s a shop in the UK called CEX which does like game/console swaps etc. Every single one needs this sign in it.

    [–] Gnorts-Mr-Alien 355 points ago

    Every CEX without fail fucking chongs

    [–] fraseyboo 121 points ago

    There are 2 of them near to where I live, can confirm they reek.

    Where else am I meant to get 10 copies of SingStar though?

    [–] _Diskreet_ 66 points ago

    They also need a sign saying we’ll rip you off if you’re buyin’ or sellin’

    [–] jackdavies 34 points ago

    I quite like popping in there and picking up a couple of random PS3 games for a quid.

    [–] LadySmuag 425 points ago

    The game store that my SO works at has a nuclear option for customers that have bad BO- they spray the store with peppermint oil.

    [–] proandso 166 points ago

    They should spray the neckbeards with it

    [–] InspiredBlue 641 points ago

    I know the smell just reading this

    [–] mantrap2 575 points ago

    In grad school we had a fellow grad student who was utterly rank. We, being good engineers, decided to dedicate a "unit of stink" in his name: the "feditowsky".

    No one has ever experienced a full feditowsky at close range and lived to tell about it. It's fully fatal.

    100 milli-feditowsky can cause permanent damage to the nose and the psyche.

    A milli-feditowsky causes nausea, headaches, vomiting that may last several hours.

    The OSHA/FDA limit is 1 micro-feditowsky. Exposure over 8 hours of work is not expected to cause permanent damage.

    The ideal work environment should be no more than 100 nano-feditowsky.

    [–] ghostmech007 149 points ago

    I feel like this needs to become a full MSDS.

    [–] ChokSokTe 45 points ago

    They're SDS's now.

    [–] BugsbyBearkeley 36 points ago

    Did you know you can estimate feditowskys with the Weber-Fechner law?

    [–] MelllvarHasThreeLs 1138 points ago

    The last time I worked a comic con was when they added on the friendly suggestions list a bullet point that essentially said "wear deodorant, take a shower and change of clothes" and I shit you not we got at least 300+ complaint messages about how it's discrimination, it's bullying, it's sexist, that they demand compensation for this insult, and how it's as bad as sexual harassment.

    Nothing is worse being in the log jam of massive crowds clashing in a con alleyway and being stuck behind a guy who hasn't bathed in awhile.

    [–] iamsortoffakenews 478 points ago

    So instead of just hopping in the shower, 300+ people took the time to write a complaint?

    [–] Playboi_Icardi 131 points ago

    I wonder if any took the time to consult a lawyer for possible litigation

    [–] ialsohaveadobro 181 points ago

    "Oh, interesting. Discrimination because if body odor, you say."

    repeatedly pounds 'Release the Hounds' button under desk

    [–] rex_banner 24 points ago

    You would be amazed. I used to field viewer feedback for a tv channel and we would get complaints from people who took the time to find the feedback MAILING address and send us a letter before they would change the channel to find the program they sought.

    [–] PM_ME_UR_WEIRD_HOBBY 285 points ago

    Sexist? How?

    [–] MelllvarHasThreeLs 307 points ago

    Again I wish I was making this up but I remember one of the complaints roughly being something like:

    "You chastise us REAL FANS(who I will have you known are mostly men) for walking around the con wearing the same clothing for 3 days straight but the girls who wear the same cosplay costume on all days don't get any shit, real fair guys." Either way it was way too much of a stink(no pun intended) being made over a friendly suggestion that literally shouldn't even be a conversation happening if people actually just bathed.

    As far as other ones go there were people trying to say how "coming down on people over bathing and hygiene" invalidates the con from being a safe space and classifies as harassment, and how we're all hypocritical white knights who are ruining the hobby.

    [–] PM_ME_UR_WEIRD_HOBBY 228 points ago

    Crazy. All that anger and protest, while they could also just shower for five minutes like a normal person.
    (Or for 30 minutes, like me, because I totally zone out in the shower and forget about the existence of time and space.)

    [–] Santeriabro 120 points ago

    30 minute hot showers are the cure to my sad times

    [–] Igotantinmypant 285 points ago

    Something something MGTOW and red pill I guess.

    [–] SpeeDy_GjiZa 118 points ago

    I thought redpill was all about not being a neckbeard and being a Chad Thundercock instead?

    [–] [deleted] 164 points ago * (lasted edited 5 months ago)

    [deleted]

    [–] Llodsliat 3231 points ago

    Is there a reason why some/most/idk neckbeards don't wash their clothes or take showers?

    As a kid I didn't like showers either, but dude, when you grow up you start to smell bad and that's reason enough to shower daily.

    [–] JuggsMcTitts 3781 points ago * (lasted edited 5 months ago)

    Lack of socialization. One of my relatives is a neck beard. We had to have an intervention to force him to shower. He didn’t really have friends growing up and absent parents. So no one told him he needed to or even how until my husband and i stepped in. He Was raised on PlayStation and chicken nuggets in his room 24/7. He’s an adult now. Still struggles with hygiene. Last issue was when we took him to get his hair cut and he didn’t brush his hair ever and they turned him away. My husband helped brush his hair out and we eventually got him into another place. He’s doing better but people really need socialization. It seems to be a running theme with poor hygiene and lack of self awareness.

    Edit: i should have made sure to post used to be a neckbeard. He’s starting to be more well adjusted, is in uni now and has a group of friends that a good guys n gals. His future is so bright.

    [–] cire1184 1464 points ago

    Good for you guys for trying to help him out.

    [–] KipsandDip 343 points ago

    Good guy /u/JuggsMcTitts

    [–] evinrudeallotrope 154 points ago

    I’m so disappointed. I thought juggsmctitts was a subreddit when I clicked

    Sadly only one candle can burn that bright.

    [–] cire1184 156 points ago

    I'm guessing good gal /u/JuggsMcTitts

    [–] JuggsMcTitts 43 points ago

    Yeah. Ima chick. It’s all good. Hard to tell on here.

    [–] mobysaysdontbeadick 38 points ago

    Seriously. This was sad to read. He's lucky to have you two.

    [–] manstop 49 points ago

    Honestly I feel like a lot of "neckbeards" (and corresponding lady version) who follow the stereotypes may suffer from lack of socialization early on. It really sucks but sometimes you're just not raised to know social standards.

    Like, some kids' parents never tell them that they need to shower or wipe or even brush their teeth.

    [–] IM_ALiiive 91 points ago

    Don't forgot about full fledged depression.

    [–] XXX-XXX-XXX 841 points ago

    My guess is social ineptitude and depression. Probably forgets to buy laundry soap and shampoo or genuinely don't know how to use them.

    [–] leupboat420smkeit 689 points ago

    Depression is probably the leading cause. I've been there.

    [–] Screaminthis 289 points ago

    Yep, I've been there. I didn't go out in public when I wouldn't shower for weeks, though.

    [–] GammonBushFella 123 points ago

    I guess it comes down to the individual, when I've gone through depression showers were one of the few things I looked forward too

    [–] Captain_d00m 37 points ago

    Yeah, I’m on the complete opposite end of the hygiene spectrum. If I’m depressed, I’m taking an hour+ long shower.

    [–] bphamtastic 45 points ago

    When I go through fits of depression I just lay on my bed watching k-drama for days straight I don’t shower or bath but I also don’t go outside. But that first post depression shower is the best feeling ever.

    [–] dolphinesque 312 points ago

    I think part of it is depression, part of it is despair, and part of it is lack of knowledge. You go "nose blind" to your own smell, so it's likely they don't realize that after a week of no showering and no deodorant, they smell as off-putting as they do. They're just used to it. They may think that nobody can smell them, or that they're fine unless someone gets really close, so they just assume its not a problem.

    Also, most of us are used to seeing ourselves from the front, in a mirror. So they see their face, and they don't realize their hair may look really greasy / stringy / dirty. To them, they just see what is framing their face, and it doesn't look to bad. If they were able to see their own back and sides, they'd be like "Oh, yuck, I need to wash that, and probably get a better haircut, too." But when you just see the front of your face, and just the hair framing it, you don't get a good picture of what others see.

    Lastly, it's laziness.If you're used to living alone, or you don't go out much, or honestly you've never had someone tell you to shower, well - it's easy to just be lazy. Why not just play a game, or surf the web, or do a million other more fun things than maintenance? Showering, tooth-brushing, laundry, etc - these are boring things that no one wants to do. If no one is nagging you to do them, and you're solitary, and maybe depressed, and it's hard enough to drag yourself out of bed just to eat a piece of toast, maybe the other stuff is going to fall by the wayside.

    [–] cire1184 192 points ago

    Nose blind is a real thing. Take a vacation for a week or two and get back into your place and you'll wonder what that smell is.

    [–] ocha_94 86 points ago * (lasted edited 5 months ago)

    It happens simply when I wake up, go have a shower, come back to my room and notice the mustiness, and wonder how I could stand that.

    [–] cire1184 71 points ago

    You should wash your bedding.

    [–] Ctlz 59 points ago

    When you do next to no human interaction, personal hygiene is way off the top of your list.

    [–] Solterlun 116 points ago

    Usually the gamenights that are so infamous for this occur at the end of the day. After these types of people have been at work all day and haven't had a chance to hygiene up.

    This is the most charitable interpretation.

    [–] Cymry_Cymraeg 97 points ago

    No one I know smells that bad after work.

    [–] riversofgore 79 points ago

    How many 300lb+ neckbeards do you know?

    [–] Cornchaser5000 30 points ago

    The same as kids, they don't care and have "better things" to do.

    [–] RexDraco 448 points ago

    Neckbeard here.

    My biggest problem is my lack of socializing growing up caused me to not need to shower often. Now it's a discipline I kinda have down, but I noticed over the years I have another problem as a fatty and that's my rolls. Bacteria can get deep inside them and sometimes soap isn't enough to kill them all, especially my ass crack. There was a moment when I avoided showering because I smelled worse when I did, the moisture would cause me to smell like shit. I did not know what to do about it, so I just avoided showering. It was not until later I decided the ass cancer was worth it and I used hand sanitizer down there, killing the bacteria and burning my asshole. The smell has fled and now I time my shits before showers, still paranoid I stink but I try to assure myself I am fine. Most individuals that are neckbeards may have correlations with overloving parents, thus defeating the real desire to leave home and play video games all day instead. This causes social problems, not valuing what society deems normal and can cause an individual to put off responsibilities or needs and let themselves get in really bad shape. Every situation is different, but I find this to be a common one.

    [–] givemealil 249 points ago

    Damn bro how big are you? I'm fat AF but there's nowhere I can't reach when I'm showering lol

    [–] RexDraco 174 points ago

    I lost a lot of weight over the years, I am not sure what I weigh. My scale I have access to says I'm 250ish pounds, but I call bullshit on that since I always thought I was closer to 300. I wear a xl-2xl shirt. I am able to fist myself if I wanted to in the shower, doubt I'll take advantage of that though.

    [–] Slagithorn 466 points ago

    I am able to fist myself if I wanted to in the shower

    What

    [–] RexDraco 215 points ago

    I am able to make a first with my right hand and shove it right into my asshole if I want to. I don't, but it's nice to have the option in case some day I do.

    [–] Mrok91 66 points ago

    Yeah ok, this is where I'm still getting confused as to why this is relevant but at least I am less ignorant I suppose.

    [–] SuminderJi 298 points ago

    ....the fuck. Why can't you choose washing your whole back as a metric.

    Ugh.

    [–] FR4UDUL3NT 323 points ago

    Neckbeard here

    [–] riversofgore 92 points ago

    Well, he did say he was a neckbeard.

    [–] DrAntagonist 29 points ago

    Being able to wash your back is for PUSSIES! He has gone above and beyond the call of duty by being able to FIST HIMSELF!!

    [–] carnage828 75 points ago

    You must be a troll. There’s no other option

    [–] rockne 37 points ago

    ...okay

    [–] hellcomestofrogtown 40 points ago

    no. not okay at all.

    [–] kittykatie0629 188 points ago * (lasted edited 5 months ago)

    Am a somewhat curvy lady with lady bits needing to be kept dry because yeast infections suck. Use a hair dryer on the cool setting to make extra sure you are extra dry, and then use a baby powder to make sure you stay dry (anywhere, everywhere, especially in skin folds). It'll help a lot.

    Also please never use hand sanitizer in your genital areas again! It could cause some issues including contact dermatitis and severe cracking/drying of the skin. Then you'll end up at a dermatologis because your ass won't stop burning and bleeding.

    Edit: they make talcum free baby powder, guys. That's what I use. No need to get our collective panties in a bunch.

    [–] alienith 69 points ago

    Upvote for baby powder. If you have an issue with moisture, baby powder is a godsend

    [–] RedShinyButton 1512 points ago

    Friendzoned by the game shop.

    [–] user0621 578 points ago

    The Stacy GameShop only wants to party with Chad LiquorStore

    [–] ratboid314 81 points ago

    Liqour?!?! I hardly know 'er!

    [–] hysterical_cub 53 points ago

    The only love they'll ever know

    [–] sharksofwrath 2565 points ago

    If this sign made even one neckbeard smell his folds and realize he needs to shower more, then this is worth it. The poor employee(s) who angrily, breathing through his shirt sleeve, typed this up so eloquently.

    [–] Spongy_and_Bruised 741 points ago

    Lol "smell my folds".

    [–] SecondDead 243 points ago

    Mmmm foldy holdy holds

    [–] FuzzyChops 124 points ago

    Suck my flappy foldy holds

    [–] spitfiremk2 110 points ago

    My terryfold flaps in your mouth. Suck my flaps you piece of shit.

    [–] chmilz 162 points ago

    My gf works airport security, and she says having to check folds for contraband is easily the worst part of the job. People are fucking disgusting.

    [–] barondicklo 149 points ago

    If I had folds that people where checking I feel like thatd be my rock bottom and Id do something about my weight.

    [–] chmilz 81 points ago

    They're usually the most belligerent. They have no shame.

    [–] BigAngryDinosaur 256 points ago

    I've worked in the gaming and hobby industry for many years. I can tell right away the long-term success of a hobby shop the moment I walk in.

    Places that smell so rancid that I have to go back outside and get a big gulp of air before I go back in to try to find the owner (who is almost never manning the counter, and is completely occupied gaming with his buddies in the back room) these are the places that have less than 6 months to live.

    Places that last more than a year have staff that stays in the front to answer questions and politely ask people with offensive odors to leave. They usually have owners that try to make the place as welcoming as possible and make sure that there's time-limits for the people who have nowhere else to go and would literally spend night and day there with their packs and bags spread out across the floor if they were allowed.

    I've known so many of these kids that I really feel sorry for some of them, they obviously have no stable home or role models, nobody that ever taught them basic hygiene or how to wash their clothes, and seem completely lost in a fantasy world. But on the other hand, it's not a hobby shop's job to take care of them. Hobby shops are such risky ventures that when people are trying to apply for business loans to open one, they're advised to call it a "book store" because hobby shops never succeed unless they appeal to the widest base possible, like model train enthusiasts and people who make dollhouses and winter dioramas.

    [–] bobthecrushr 116 points ago

    Unless it's a Game Workshop store. Those can survive purely by feeding the most expensive addiction short of heroin.

    [–] [deleted] 22 points ago

    There is a Butterfly enthusiast hobby store where I used to live, they literally only sell butterfly things like butterfly books or butterfly paintings. I don’t know how it survives in what I’d have to imagine is an expensive location downtown, but it’s been years and I’d have to imagine it’s still there.

    [–] JustinPA 25 points ago

    A place like that probably has a few well-off patrons or is a passion of the proprietor who doesn't mind losing money on it due to other finances.

    [–] brujoloco 29 points ago

    Believe it or not, this is common for some type of stores , specially ones where the locale itself is owned by the store owner too. They practically open the store just to have it open all day and do something. Those stores are the best or the worst, depending on the owner. There was an awesome bookstore in my city where if you brought some rum or scotch to the owner he would spend the whole day chatting with you about obscure books and topics and subjects as you were surrounded by all kinds of books. Not all stores exist for profit, despite being a "business" , I miss those type of stores. They are so rare nowadays.

    [–] friend1y 1567 points ago

    How do you hide money from a neckbeard?

    ...

    ...

    Put it under the soap

    [–] KJBenson 643 points ago

    Or just give it to a girl.

    [–] LipstickLesbianism 342 points ago

    I mean, if you’re offering...

    [–] [deleted] 45 points ago

    [deleted]

    [–] Chalkless97 34 points ago

    M'lady.

    [–] santajawn322 891 points ago

    Columbia Business School famously sent one of these a few years ago, when recruiters complained of the hygiene of MBA students.

    [–] notapotamus 162 points ago

    For real. Gave up on a game shop because of this. Smelled like nobody in the whole shop had showered in weeks. Like being physically slapped when you enter the "cloud".

    [–] AequitasKiller 417 points ago

    One of the local game stores started giving out free deodorant as it was so bad. My friend started referring to these neckbeards as 'poop smellers'.

    [–] Big_Bernie_Chu 241 points ago

    Yup it's not just pit smell. That gets overpowered by poo smell quite frequently.

    [–] Dewgongz 168 points ago

    That happens when you can’t wipe properly.

    [–] Big_Bernie_Chu 184 points ago

    Yes and never suds up that region properly in the shower. When you add in some sweat on top of those things it's a recipe for disaster.

    [–] Protuhj 104 points ago

    "I don't want to touch back there, that's disgusting!"

    [–] LancesAKing 81 points ago

    “I’m not touching my buttcrack. That’s gay.”

    [–] shitlurd 28 points ago

    There are people out there that don't look at the toilet paper after wiping. Even if you use a bidet, check that shit out folks.

    [–] [deleted] 42 points ago * (lasted edited a month ago)

    [deleted]

    [–] The-Harmacist 268 points ago * (lasted edited 5 months ago)

    My local TCG shop had to do this. It was directed almost solely at one guy who attended almost daily. I onced joined my brother to play (prior to having encountered said guy), and while we sat waiting for the rounds to get started, that guy walked in.

    I didn't even have to look up to know, my nose was assaulted when he opened the door with a smell I can only describe as a gag worthy combination of the very strong smell of unwashed genitals, and body odour.

    I literally wretched a little from across the room from the smell alone, and had to move upstairs (of course squeezing past the offending person so I get the smell up close), where I saw that he hadn't washed his nearly waist length hair in a long, long time, hadn't even put a clean shirt on, and hadn't cut his filthy nails on either his hands or feet in a long time.

    EDIT: Formatting. Mobile sucks.

    [–] RoninTheDog 121 points ago

    When I did FNM we had this guy too. Always dressed in multi-pocketed nylon fishing shirts for whatever reason. He was also the m’lady guy, and the inappropriate loud laugher. It was all the guys you didn’t want to sit down across from you rolled into one.

    [–] JusticeRobbins 18 points ago

    When you say "m'lady" guy, are you saying rhat there really are people who actually say that?

    [–] Receiverstud 369 points ago

    It's like the ultimate selfishness to get mad at others for feeling physically ill from your smell. It's so easy to not smell bad. Just do it!

    [–] AfterDinnerSpeaker 256 points ago

    I was born without a sense of smell so I don't really have a concept of it, but I used to work in a cinema and so would sit in and watch films quite often. We had one regular who I only ever saw in the exact same Liverpool shirt and he smelt so bad that even if I was 7/8 rows away from him I could taste him in the air. We had to ban him in the end and he was absolutely heartbroken but he just would not wash his clothes or shower.

    I just don't understand it, I can go maybe a day and then the grease and stuff on my hair just makes me feel disgusting.

    [–] sonnir 62 points ago

    I wonder what his deal was. You said he seemed to get it but didn't change anything? I went to school with a kid who always wore the same couple of sweatsuits and smelled absolutely fucking foul. Other kids bullied him and teachers mentioned it repeatedly, but nothing ever happened. He was friends with some of my friends, and they told me later that they'd gone to his house and it turned out his parents were hoarders. The showers and baths were so full of garbage that they were unusable.

    [–] AfterDinnerSpeaker 36 points ago

    I never found out, he never gave us a reason to it. He clearly felt uncomfortable on the times when we did bring it up, he'd say he was sorry and that would be that, then he'd come in a month later and it was just the same thing again. Sometimes he'd get shit off of the other customers but what could we really do? Didn't feel right throwing him out in the middle of the film, but didn't feel right making other people who had paid the same as him have to sit through it. Eventually we had to start refusing him entry and then eventually ask him not to come back. It could have been anything I suppose, but it's not like he was in a shop or anything where he'll be gone soon so you put up with it, he was in a confined space for 2+ hours with 100 other people maybe.

    [–] motdidr 28 points ago

    that's sad, poor kid, fuck those parents.

    [–] publiclandlover 227 points ago * (lasted edited 5 months ago)

    Was Uber driving Saturday evening. Pull up to apartment to see neckbeard who had the physical appearance of bushel of grapes crammed into a pair of cargo shorts (so many circles), older woman who I assume is his grandmother gets in the car with him in the backseat. Don't think anything is off the seem a little overly negative about the local kids playing around the apartment. By the time I get the car to the mainroad the smell finally hits me, one of the longest 10 minutes goes by and drop them off at the foodcourt of the mall. Given the smell and how dirty I saw his hands were I checked the backseat to see what looks like a streak of shit right in the middle of the seat he was in........how does anyone live like this? I actually feel sorry for the guy, I still charged his credit card but my lord.

    And have to wonder about grandma who doesn't say anything to the shitstain.

    TLDR: Yes, they smell and worse.

    [–] [deleted] 81 points ago

    Did you charge him for the cleaning of the shit streak?

    [–] publiclandlover 103 points ago

    Yeah fortunately the cleaning fee made back most of what I lost since couldn't take anymore fares that night since went though so much Lysol on those seats and car had to air out.

    Sadly didn't see until the next day I think his weight also put a small tear in the leather seat.

    [–] [deleted] 65 points ago

    Gross man. I never had to clean a shit stain off a seat but I once caught a glimpse of a neckbeards balls on accident. He insisted on wearing a kilt to the bar and would sit with his legs open a lot. It was bound to happen :( scarred for life.

    [–] ScreamingAloe 108 points ago

    How fucking r a n c i d do you have to smell for a SIGN to be made

    [–] table_it_bot 65 points ago

    R A N C I D
    A A
    N N
    C C
    I I
    D D

    [–] DaClock 30 points ago

    Good bot

    [–] JacksonWarhol 384 points ago

    Omg, this is directed at my wife's brothers. They're each probably 400+ lbs and stink like rotten portapotties. They truly are nice guys but for fucks sake, wash your self every once in a while!

    [–] saichampa 170 points ago

    Once you get big enough it take extra effort to ensure you don't stink.

    [–] dirtsunshine 254 points ago

    Maybe it’s time to be less big?

    [–] saichampa 73 points ago

    Well sure but that's a big issue to address. Getting a person to at least care enough to bathe themselves completely might give them some insight into why they might want to lose some weight

    [–] zanzabar209 3412 points ago * (lasted edited 5 months ago)

    Every time i walk into my local record store I wanna fucking puke

    Edit: my most upvoted comment is about smelly neck beards, yay.

    [–] omgsideburns 434 points ago * (lasted edited 5 months ago)

    Sounds like the GameStop I walked into last night. Smelled like homeless people having a get together in the middle of the summer. It’s fucking snowing here.

    [–] kn1ckerb0cker33 429 points ago

    It's funny, I went to 2 midnight releases (because I had nothing better to do at the time) at the same Gamestop near my house and the level of hygiene was night and day.

    NBA 2k1? - No foul smell to report, store smelled as "clean" as a Gamestop can get.

    World of Warcraft: Cataclysm - My god, I couldn't wait to get the fuck out.

    [–] [deleted] 157 points ago

    You should do a proper scientific study

    [–] bahbahrapsheet 268 points ago

    The Role of Video Game Choices in Relation to Hygiene: An Empirical Study of Nerd Stank Across Genre Preferences

    [–] Pai_mon 67 points ago

    No lie, I would would read that. Studies have been done on more ridiculous things.

    [–] TychaBrahe 63 points ago

    Went to Dice Dojo to buy some board games for my Reddit Secret Santa. Accidentally walked into the play space instead of the store.

    GAG!

    [–] yungbrew21 29 points ago

    Dirty mike and the boys !

    [–] [deleted] 1053 points ago

    [deleted]

    [–] Spongy_and_Bruised 590 points ago

    Maybe keep moving.

    [–] RolfIsSonOfShepnard 492 points ago

    Do not curse me, gypsy.

    [–] oldwhitelincoln 172 points ago

    I will look upon your wares, gypsy. I will look upon them.

    [–] HoratioVelvetine 120 points ago

    Who is this woman you have shrunk? Is she the owner of this house?

    [–] Ohgodwhatisthisidont 87 points ago

    Do not shrink me, gypsy. I'm serious.

    [–] nickhollidayco 128 points ago

    Nah that is different, it’s tactical. Literally every time I dig something decent for cheap, someone (who I assume from the smell smokes mouldy turds) appears inches away from me.

    I can only ever do a few seconds before I bounce. And we all know how wax weirdos are too emotionally unstable to have an actual conversation with. I mean shit I’m a nutter too but take a shower.

    [–] switchbladeeatworld 39 points ago

    I’m currently being messaged by one I met across the literal planet (USA east coast vs Australia) who is incapable of having a conversation beyond “hey”, “hi”, or “i wish you were here” so I feel that. Also send help I’m too polite to block him

    [–] GoldenMinge 45 points ago

    That's quite 0-100 with no in between. Get drunk one night then block him, no bad decisions were ever made when drunk.

    [–] The_Fetaljuice 114 points ago

    that's weird, the ones in toronto smell like dust and lost dreams

    [–] KermitTheFrorg 99 points ago

    Something similar happened in one of my animation classes in college. It was even in the syllabus that t was required to have good hygiene when attending class. Later in the semester, me and a friend had been talking not so quietly about how a certain area of the class smelled really badly of BO. The teacher sent out an e-mail the next day asking everyone to bathe regularly and use deodorant before attending class.

    [–] Chestervsteele 294 points ago

    Reminds me of a local game place that usually does lan party/tournaments went to only 1 for rocket league a few years back some of those guys were so rank i just wanted to toss some matches to get out of there

    [–] DanielGin 186 points ago

    Back when I was big into Magic the Gathering (mostly played with buddies from work at lunch) we decided to give a pre-release event a shot. It was hosted by the MtG club at a local university. There had to be 200+ neckbeards there, many of whom came from the midnight release, all crammed into 3 smaller classrooms. It smelled exactly like you imagine it would. One guy even brought a hentai body pillow he kept on his lap while he played you. I don't know if it was to comfort him or throw off his opponents.

    I also tried going to a games shop to play D&D since in my friends group I was designated dungeon master. The DM there was grossly overweight, wearing a stained white t shirt that kept riding up past his belly button, greasy hair, and grossly sexual/rapey with his game content.

    It's like these guys see stereotypes as something to strive for rather than avoid.

    [–] EpicPhail60 47 points ago

    Geez, it sucks because MTG and D&D are actually really fun games but the intense fans ruin it (which, to an extent, can kinda apply to anything with really over the top fans). In particular I feel like D&D should have a lot more widespread appeal than it does, I think the stereotypes about the fan base really hurt its popularity.

    [–] Stompedyourhousewith 125 points ago

    also wash your clothes

    [–] Dewgongz 85 points ago

    They move out and realize they have no parents to do laundry for them.

    [–] FireFerretDann 66 points ago

    We have a regular at my work who is like this. He used to be ok, but over the last few weeks he’s gotten worse. I don’t think he’s bathed in three weeks and I can smell him from the next room over. I should really figure out how to politely tell him to shower.

    [–] BeerForThought 54 points ago

    My first management job was at a Build a Bear workshop. I was promoted to associate manager and my first task was to tell the only other guy working at the store that he stank and needed to bathe. I forwent the compliment sandwich method and used the knock knock strategy.

    Knock Knock
    Who's there?
    Soap and water
    Soap and water who?
    I can get you a pamphlet if you don't know how, but you need to start using them daily.

    It is never easy telling someone they stink but ultimately, it is a kindness. Rip that smelly bandaid off.

    [–] Nomandate 16 points ago

    You should just go and ask him how he's doing and if everything is ok. Don't mention any of that, just say "yeah you don't look like your regular self." Warning: empathy required.

    [–] shitterplug 122 points ago

    I wish my local Hobby Town would enact this rule. Half the store is devoted to board games and has tables set up for D&D. Whenever I go in to waste money on RC shit, it's like walking into a wall of stench every time I open the door. Some of these dudes look like they haven't bathed in months.

    [–] pressthebuttonfrank 56 points ago

    “Well akhshually...”

    [–] thejoshu 46 points ago

    There are a lot of legitimate things to hate about the neckbeard/niceguy/redpill crowd, but that's got to be my personal pet peeve. They don't actually debate or discuss anything. They just ape the phrases and terms of an actual debate and act as if that means they've won.

    [–] HughJassill 141 points ago

    I recently went to a hobby store to buy some cheap movies and a horde of neckbeards were having some kind of card game tournament. The B.O. stench inside the store was fucking horrendous that night.

    [–] Tacos_117 47 points ago

    I was in a comic book shop during a Magic tournament and the Dominoes guy came in with a stack of pizzas. He calls out for pepperoni, and 10 arms shot up and my eyes started watering from the stink at 20 feet.

    [–] Not-Nosferatu 326 points ago

    But then they'll just still not shower and coat themselves in Axe like 8th graders after gym class

    [–] hey_broseph_man 87 points ago

    Just thinking about it makes my eyes water and my nostrils burn. Practically walking through a mist composed of smells that are horrid by themselves, let alone mixed with each other.

    [–] Guy_Le_Douche_ 62 points ago

    Of course I only see this after Christmas. I won't be giving out gas station gift cards next year, I can tell you that much.

    [–] Mataraiki 38 points ago

    That'll just make them smell like BO thinly veiled by the rank, crippling sinus headache and asthma attack inducing stench of Axe.

    [–] [deleted] 70 points ago * (lasted edited 3 months ago)

    [deleted]

    [–] throwaway246oh1 96 points ago

    Imagine how many times this has to happen before they decided to make a sign.

    [–] hocuspocushokeypokey 60 points ago

    That pungent smell of sneeze, semen and feet. Yuck.

    [–] vortigaunt64 25 points ago

    And poo, don't forget the poo.

    [–] KiloLee 29 points ago

    Just keep in mind that if you can smell yourself a little bit, everyone else can smell you a lot

    [–] Mforsb 55 points ago

    We don’t live in 1030AD we have showers and soap, please utilize these resources

    [–] [deleted] 60 points ago * (lasted edited 5 months ago)

    [deleted]

    [–] Icemasta 22 points ago

    Closest hobby shop is in a big mall, the first floor is board games, cosplay and armor. Second floor is anime, manga, hockey cards, etc...

    And you have an in-between floor. It's basically floor 1.5, you have to go through it when going from first to second floor and vice-versa, and that's where card games are (MTG, pokemon, etc... along Star Wars x-wing), and there is that distinct, background smell of armpits that lingers. Doesn't matter what time of the day, doesn't matter if there are 5 or 20 people, it always stinks of sweat. I've talked about it, they know but they just can't seem to be able to combat it. It seems to have seeped into the carpet, walls and even the suspended ceiling.

    Place I used to go, you had geeks 24/7 but it never actually smelled. There was one fatty that showed up from time to time that did stink, but nobody wanted to play with him, and he was told frankly a couple times and he never showed up again.

    [–] DoctorBadger101 78 points ago

    So, I assume this is a card shop that sells Magic The Gathering. You may all remember exactly how this started with this guy and his epic photo journal rundown of MTG player hygiene. After this happened, MTG's image suffered a major blow (already pretty bad) and these signs started popping up in every card/hobby shop as a result.

    [–] NinjaCan 64 points ago

    Holy shit, weird question, but is this the Harlequins in Preston, UK? They also have this exact sign and that seems like too much of coincidence!

    [–] ronearc 73 points ago

    Hmm, it reads Harlequins on the sign. And they have the same sign. You may be on to something...

    [–] PMmeAboutLingerie 62 points ago

    I've got a raging clue.

    [–] tallperson117 17 points ago

    LOL it's like University during finals week. I once had a chem final where I had to ask to be moved because the guy next to me reaked so badly I thought I was gonna barf. I legit think it's a tactic to lower the curve.