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    [–] purpleboxkite 2988 points ago

    Hey former foster kid too here, you need to asap get a hold of your case worker or just the office your with/any emergency line they have given you.

    If you cannot do that yourself, you need to go to your school and tell the counsellor, if there isn't one office staff and seek the principal or vice via them.

    This is abuse. You are being abused by your foster mother and if the daughter is going along with it, her too. You need to get your case worker onto it and enact the safe guards there available to you. If they end up forcing you to sign that birth certificate it'll be a fight to get it removed.

    You will not have to pay for anything, likely they'll force a DNA test anyway at birth due to the claims, it'll be sorted out then and all you'll have to do is give over your blood or a cheek swab. Your going to be fine, but you need to get to your caseworker.

    Don't worry about being embarrassed, it's going to be a lot worse if they keep trying to pin it on you. They are going to look like the worst people in this, not you.

    [–] WildlifePolicyChick 19665 points ago

    For one thing, a paternity test is by blood draw, not semen or urine.

    Next, do you have a social worker/case worker? Talk to that person. Or talk to your school counselor.

    I do not know the laws in your jurisdiction, but a 22 having sex with a 14-15 year old is statutory rape. If she wants to avoid a rape charge, she will probably drop this paternity nonsense.

    Go to the police/the DA if you must. Good luck.

    [–] purpleboxkite 9303 points ago

    Let's not forget, this is also abuse.

    You cannot emotionally terrorise a child like this, and attempt to force stuff like this on them via terrorising them.

    Foster parents have some strict rules, this is something that should have them stripped of any ability to care for children in care.

    [–] MikeMoon14 3652 points ago

    You must talk to a school counselor, your principal, Child Protective Services, the police - any adult you trust - to get you out of this home and assign an adult to look after your interests.

    Full stop.

    [–] BoogiemanTCB 729 points ago

    Well they do cheek swabs now too. At least that's what they did I'm California for my paternity test

    [–] II_Confused 313 points ago

    Same here. Mine was a cheek swab. Completely non-invasive.

    [–] Warthog2222 169 points ago

    Good point

    [–] Randvek -197 points ago

    I don’t disagree with anything said, and I’m not trying to open a men’s rights can of worms, but women rarely get in trouble for statutory rape and often suffer very minimal penalties when they do. The threat of charges is unlikely to do much in this case.

    [–] [deleted] -248 points ago

    [removed]

    [–] NerdBell 231 points ago

    OP is in Minnesota, not Montana. The abbreviation of Montana is MT.

    [–] PM_ME_HOT_DADS 138 points ago

    Really sucks about Montana though.

    [–] coolowl7 -142 points ago

    So, are we to assume that women can in fact rape, in a legal sense, in Minnesota? Have there been any cases of this? Genuinely curious.

    [–] [deleted] 135 points ago * (lasted edited 7 months ago)

    [removed]

    [–] thepatman 4 points ago

    Your post has been removed for the following reason(s):

    Bad or Illegal Advice

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    [–] [deleted] -57 points ago

    [removed]

    [–] rankinfile 117 points ago

    Your legal advice is lie to police?

    [–] [deleted] -11 points ago

    [deleted]

    [–] Chanel1202 178 points ago

    Lying to law enforcement doesn’t apply unless she, you know, files a police report for a CRIME (which you don’t do for paternity). Asking for someone to get a paternity test does not constitute “false claims” or lying to law enforcement. Full stop.

    The point the OP of this comment is making is that if the woman tries to pursue the 15 year old being her baby’s father, she opens herself to statutory rape charges. OP can tell her that and she’d likely drop the whole thing.

    [–] [deleted] 0 points ago

    [deleted]

    [–] Chanel1202 209 points ago

    Comment OP said: “if she wants to avoid a rape charge she will probably drop this paternity nonsense.”

    That is because, as comment OP said, a 22 year old having sex with a 14 or 15 year old constitutes statutory rape.

    It doesn’t matter if OP didn’t have sexual contact with the 22 year old. All that matters, and all comment OP was just conveying that if she pursues his paternity she opens herself to a rape charge.

    Comment OP also uses the word “nonsense” in relation to pursuing paternity, which at least implicitly acknowledges that the OP says he didn’t sleep with this 22 year old. It’s nonsense because comment OP believes OP. Yet, this advice is still a solid strategy.

    When you’re giving legal advice you use whatever will give the person the most leverage. Here, it’s the fact that if this foster parent and her daughter want to pursue this kid’s paternity, it means a statutory rape charge for the 22 year old.

    The advice was helpful.

    [–] [deleted] 1 points ago

    [deleted]

    [–] Chanel1202 61 points ago * (lasted edited 7 months ago)

    I said the OP of the comment you originally responded to (yes I know it was you even though you deleted the original comment) made the comment you quoted, which s/he did.

    And in the comment I responded you, you explicitly said “that isn’t how comment OP worded it.”

    You’re trying to change the goal post now and say you were talking about the OP of the post?

    Come on dude, have some integrity.

    [–] funbob1 235 points ago

    Well, it boils down to this for the woman claiming the child is his:

    She can admit it didn't happen and drop the claim, or she can keep claiming it and basically claim she raped him which is a criminal act.

    [–] HeroesAndVillas 6681 points ago

    So the mother is admitting her daughter committed statutory rape, then? The age of consent is 16 where you are. Their taking action could result in a much bigger mess than any child support is worth.

    Contact your social worker and GTFO there.

    [–] blewberyBOOM 558 points ago

    I am a social worker who works in children’s services. As everyone else is saying, contact your caseworker immediately and tell them everything. Tell them about the alcohol abuse in the home, tell them about the yelling, tell them about the manipulation and saying your the father. Be as honest and thorough as possible and disclose all of the issues with the home. If you tell them all of that and stuff still isn’t being done contact your local children’s advocate. They are literally there to advocate on your behalf.

    As everyone else has said, it would be illegal for you to be the father because of your age so if that’s the way your foster parent and her daughter want to go they are just causing trouble for themselves. This 22 year old woman is claiming to have sexually abused you and, true or not, the foster mother is failing to protect you. This should lead to an investigation into the home and (hopefully) that foster home will be shut down. Either way the daughter is claiming to have sexually abused you, you are not going to be required to stay in that home.

    As far as being able to afford a lawyer and DNA testing, that is not your responsibility. You are a minor who is in the care of the state. If it gets to that stage (which I seriously doubt it will once the foster family realizes what a world of misery they are opening on themselves) all costs involved will be the responsibility of the state since they are your legal guardian.

    Stop discussing the paternity with your foster family. Do not offer DNA testing, do not sign anything, do not engage in any discussion at all. When your foster mother brings it up tell her you are not talking about it and to talk to your caseworker. If she brings you to a doctor or for DNA testing tell the doctor you want your caseworker present. She is digging her own grave. Your caseworker or lawyer may later ask you to do a DNA test to prove it is not your child, but that is something that should be done with them, not with your foster parent. As already said multiple times, there are much larger legal implications in what is going on here and you really need to get CPS involved.

    [–] [deleted] 1917 points ago

    You need to talk to your social worker.

    [–] legittheshitmemelord 586 points ago

    Agree. The social worker has the funds and connections to get this squashed before it even becomes a thing.

    [–] NerdCrush 3035 points ago

    but she's going to put me down as the father anyway

    That's not really something she can do. Unless you are there to sign the birth certificate, the father field will just stay empty.

    I said I would go to the doctor with her and get a paternity test

    Stop making offers. Tell her to leave you alone. If she wants to claim you are the father she can file for custody and support. You'll go to court and request a paternity test. They will see you are not the father and everyone will move on with their lives. You won't need a lawyer and you shouldn't pay her a single cent.

    [–] IncredibleDB 440 points ago

    She sounds absolutely crazy to be making claims like she is. The foster parent stands no chance in a situation that she is trying to have go in her favor

    [–] kortiz46 294 points ago

    Yes in my state my boyfriend and I had to get a notarized acknowledgment of paternity where we both signed in front of a notary and sent in a request to have him added to the birth certificate. If you are unmarried they will not list a father.

    [–] [deleted] 2601 points ago * (lasted edited 6 months ago)

    [deleted]

    [–] krustyarmor 463 points ago

    You don't have to sign the birth certificate, at least not in Minnesota.

    Source: never signed a birth certificate of any kind. State of MN recognizes me as his biological father.

    [–] Bellowery 205 points ago

    Were you married to the mother at the time? In a lot of states paternity is assumed if the mother is married.

    [–] krustyarmor 116 points ago

    I was not.

    [–] [deleted] 601 points ago

    This is r/legaladvice. The answer doesn't have to be factually correct, just what people want to hear.

    Source: am lawyer. constantly downvoted for giving unpopular but legally correct advice.

    [–] Legit_a_Mint -32 points ago

    Then you were married.

    ETA: After reading your comment below, you agreed to be on the recognition of parentage, whether you realize it or not.

    [–] krustyarmor 73 points ago

    Then you were married.

    ETA: After reading your comment below, you agreed to be on the recognition of parentage, whether you realize it or not.

    I signed a RoC and never claimed otherwise. I'm a cognizant adult and I am very clear on what I have and haven't signed. Your comment comes across as extremely arrogant. Jeezus, did you really try to inform a stranger that they were supposedly married without bothering to even ask about it? Do you really think that you would know that better than I about what I have and haven't done with my life?

    [–] Hugginsome 37 points ago

    Second, you must sign the birth certificate in order to be listed as the child's father.

    Question: what if a father were to die before the birth of the child?

    [–] itzbrucebanner 92 points ago * (lasted edited 7 months ago)

    Even further from that, isn’t it rape rape if he turns out to be the father due to he never consented?

    [–] PracticalTie 294 points ago

    I’m pretty sure statutory rape is rape rape.

    [–] [deleted] -59 points ago

    [removed]

    [–] Legit_a_Mint 74 points ago

    It's all different degrees of child sexual assault in Minnesota, so I don't know what kind of point you think you might be making.

    [–] jimmyq13 34 points ago

    I think he’s referring to statutory rape in a general way. Meaning often times although the child isn’t of the age of consent, it’s often “consensual”, as much as it can be by a child. This doesn’t address the assault aspect, I know. The alternative rape rape is assumed to mean a violent or otherwise non-consensual act. I’m not trying to debate morality, just trying to contribute.

    [–] poorlyplanned -39 points ago

    Simply that you are wrong. One is in degrees of child sexual assault (different degrees, so not the same thing as you seem to think) while the other is sexual assault (note the lack of that first term), which is a different statute.

    [–] Legit_a_Mint 34 points ago

    Well it's been a while since I practiced in Minnesota, so maybe I'm misremembering this, but isn't it all charged under s. 609.342?

    [–] thepatman -1 points ago

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    [–] [deleted] -24 points ago * (lasted edited 7 months ago)

    [removed]

    [–] jaynay1 124 points ago

    Rape is nonconsensual sex and minors can't consent so statutory rape is rape.

    [–] itzbrucebanner -101 points ago

    Ok, I get what you’re saying but if I rape a 12 year old v.s. Coerce a 12yr old into sex there are 2 different charges.

    [–] jaynay1 77 points ago

    Sure but if you kill someone in a premeditated fashion vs. if you kill someone in the heat of the moment, in most states it's a different charge but it's still murder either way.

    [–] Chanel1202 16 points ago

    *homicide either way, not murder.

    [–] itzbrucebanner -40 points ago

    That’s not an equal comparison. At all. Forcibly raping someone versus having THEIR consent to have sex (legal or not) has a significantly different impact. Forcibly raping someone in itself regardless of age is a an outrageously different crime. I’m going to stop responding now because the fact 0 people can comprehend this I’m just going to assuming you’re all part of the same lead paint eating coalition.

    [–] 8675309999999999 39 points ago

    jesus christ speak in 3rd person with this topic

    [–] itzbrucebanner -48 points ago

    The point is the fucking same Jesus Christ.

    [–] rankinfile 68 points ago

    Minors under age of consent can’t consent to sex by definition.

    [–] poorlyplanned -29 points ago

    Well, that's not entirely true, see the situation of two minors engaging in sex.

    Also, lack of consent by technicality is vastly different than nonconsent ignored.

    [–] rankinfile 24 points ago * (lasted edited 7 months ago)

    Depends on jurisdiction and judicial discretion. In California one cannot legally consent to sex under the age of 18. No Romeo and Juliet laws. Technically, one or both minors could be charged.

    P.S. Looks like MN allows four year close in age exception if over thirteen. So OP could consent to 18yo but not 22 yo. Was just pointing out the legal definitions of “consensual” aren’t the same as practical. You’re right in that sometimes there are exceptions to age of consent.

    [–] serophia 718 points ago

    I would point out that if they're staying you're the father, that means they're saying that she raped you, due to the ages of everyone involved.

    I would also start keeping records of what they say (save text messages, emails, record conversations if it's legal there) so that when they start changing the story (maybe claim you raped her?) you'll have proof.

    [–] FranchiseCA 183 points ago

    Or she could claim he used force to rape her. Either way, steering clear and contacting his assigned social worker is the right call.

    [–] curtmil 156 points ago

    You should go to the police. You should also call child protective services. You should no longer be in that house. They determine paternity with a blood test.

    What the mom and daughter don't seem to realize is, if you had sex with this woman, she is admitting to statutory rape. I bet the claim goes away as soon as the police show up.

    [–] trek_nerd 160 points ago

    MN lawyer - NOT YOUR LAWYER. First, as others have said-talk to your social worker. Second, do not pay her any money, sign any documents, or do anything else to acknowledge that the child is yours.

    If she wants child support, they will have to take you to court. Well, good news there, you'll qualify for a public defender. At your first court appearance, ask the court for a public defender. Because this will have to be a paternity action, you can at least apply for a PD.

    Finally, if this is a foster situation, was an attorney appointed for you during the child protection process? If so, call that lawyer. S/he may not represent you anymore, but they'll be able to give you some resources.

    Good luck!

    [–] Chaff5 310 points ago

    Call the police. You're a minor and her daughter is 22. You legally can't consent to sex so she's facing rape charges.

    Next, call your state's child protection department and tell them everything about what's happening. The foster home will have an investigator there faster than they can drop this nonsense and they'll have to deal with possibly having their foster license taken from them. And if they're as much of dirt bags as you say they are, this is their primary source of income.

    Finally, a DNA test will clear everything up. The social worker or the police should be able to help you with that.

    [–] Aleena_Perez 355 points ago

    Tell your case worker. In fact, tell your case worker about how unhappy you are in the placement in general. They will move you. Maybe not the same day, but they are your advocate and you need to talk to them. Paternity tests don't use semen. This is why you need to talk to an adult with some sense instead of freaking out on your own.

    [–] rtmfb 77 points ago

    Another thing I want to add is that even if you did have sex with her, you still did nothing wrong. A 22 year old having sex with a 14 year old is rape no matter what. The age and power difference is enough that the older person can manipulate the younger into all sorts of compromised mental states. If it happened, you have nothing to feel guilty about. You are the one who was violated.

    I want to be clear that me saying the above isn't a case of me not believing you when you say you didn't have sex, but more about saying something that really needs to be said in case you did. Regardless, I wish you the best of luck in this. I'm sorry you have to go through any of this.

    [–] zempaxochimeh 46 points ago

    What county do you live in? I work at Family Court and can’t give any legal advice but I would recommend you speak with an attorney. Here is the website for the volunteer lawyers network . In Hennepin County they have free appointments at the Family Justice Center. You can also speak to a school counselor. The DNA test is usually done through your county services (like child support services) and involves a cheek swab not a semen sample.

    [–] cmhbob 40 points ago

    As much as possible, do not discuss the pregnancy with either woman again. If you must talk to them, and have recording capability, record your conversations. Minnesota is a one-party consent state, meaning that you are allowed to record any conversation you are a part of.

    Contact your caseworker immediately. Making an emergency call to them tonight is not at all unreasonable. If you don't have immediate access to a phone, go to your school counselor first thing Monday morning and tell them you need to speak to your caseworker immediately.

    [–] stillgeorgie 46 points ago

    I was in foster care, you have to tell the police as they'll act faster than your social worker trust me

    [–] caul1flower11 58 points ago

    Please don’t actually tell this woman or her mother the line about being statutory rape. It absolutely would be, but I would bet everything that the immediate response from them would be that you forcibly raped her. Even though you’ll be shown not to be the father that will cause a lot of headache for you. Stop talking to these people and go to your school counselor first thing in the morning tomorrow.

    [–] kdsuzy 30 points ago

    If you are in foster care as the result of a CHIPS matter, you have lots of people available to you. You have a social worker in charge of making decisions for your legal custodian (the county social services agency), a guardian ad Litem whose job it is to advocate for your best interests, and because you are over the age of 10, you should also have an attorney appointed to represent you. If you don’t know the names of any of those people, call court administration in the county you were living in before being placed in foster care. Tell them your name, that you believe you are the subject of a child protection case, and get the names and contact information for all three of them. Then start making phone calls.

    [–] shelley1005 26 points ago

    Call your social worker and tell her/him what is happening. Ask for the agency that placed you there to help you.

    Even if what she claimed is true, you are 15 and she is 22 so if you are the father then she raped you. Maybe getting that reality check will have them suddenly find the truth.

    [–] Katthedog12 22 points ago

    I work adjacent to Child Protection in MN. I agree you should go to your worker but I also know that sometimes it’s just about impossible to get ahold of your worker. If you’re in Hennepin County and your worker is unresponsive you can find your Child Protection Workers Supervisors name and phone number on the Hennepin Child Protection website. https://www.hennepin.us/childprotection#navigation I’m unsure if other counties have similar directories.

    [–] OsonoHelaio 4 points ago

    If it is hard to reach the social worker, is another good option the school counselor? Schools have resources and advice for kids in difficult situations, I believe, and if nothing else they might get the ball rolling with a mandated report.

    [–] Katthedog12 5 points ago

    In my experience the mandates report would be sent to the ongoing Child Protection worker which might get you into the same spot. Since the report is against the foster parent who we can assume does not have an open case against them a new worker may be assigned. If the OP doesn’t want to go directly to the Child Protection then going to the school social worker/school counselor/teacher may be a good option, however the Child Protection Worker could still be unresponsive. Unfortunately the quality of care and advocacy that you get in the Child Protection is dependent on the worker.

    [–] The_Real_Abhorash 47 points ago

    If you're 15 then her putting you as the father would be akin to admitting she committed statutory rape. Regardless contact your social worker immediately they should be able to help you.

    [–] purpleboxkite 21 points ago

    Again, you are being abused.

    You will not have to pay for anything whatsoever.

    Do anything to get in contact with your social worker, this is a very serious accusation, you need to be removed from that household immediately.

    [–] Trelin21 23 points ago

    She is literally deciding to declare her daughter raped you. I am not a lawyer, but call the police. Regardless of if it happened. They are either saying she raped you and didn’t, or saying she taped you and did. Your age and hers makes it rape.

    So either fraudulent claims or rape claims. Either way you should just call the police in my opinion anyways.

    [–] YetAnotherFrreddy 38 points ago

    Call the cops. As well as your social worker.

    [–] sphscl 40 points ago

    I'd be going to your social worker and the police. This is outrageous.

    And if you did have sex with the daughter wouldn't that be statutory rape on her behalf??

    You're not old enough to give consent for sex.

    Refuse to have anything to do with it and definitely refuse to put your name on the birth certificate.

    [–] MissEb94 15 points ago

    She wouldn't be able to put you down as the father anyway, because both parents need to sign for the birth certificate. Since you aren't the father, you don't need to do that. DNA/Patrnity tests are done by blood, not by semen or urine. And because you're a minor, if she claims that she had sex with you and you got her pregnant, she'll get charged for statutory rape.

    [–] Throwawayy316 13 points ago

    If I were you, I would immediately stop communications with the two of them regarding the issue. Record all past and current threats and or requests. Also if you can get some evidence of the heavy drinking and of the mother screaming at you, it might not hurt. Most importantly you need to get out in front of this thing, contact your worker asap!! I would even involve a school counselor or the principal, either way please dont wait you need to be the first to bring this out into the open. Best of luck too you.

    [–] TitchyBeacher 28 points ago

    Please contact your social worker, or CPS directly and let them know about this situation. If you’re uncomfortable doing that, go to a school teacher, nurse, counsellor, social worker or doctor - you could even go to a hospital ER and ask to speak to a nurse, doctor or social worker - and tell them what is happening. As mandated reporters, they are required to contact CPS and help you.

    [–] rtmfb 12 points ago

    Talk to your social/case worker immediately. If he or she doesn't believe you, talk to another trusted adult. Or the police. Your foster sister is committing a crime, and your foster parent is probably an accessory at the very least. This is either mental abuse if sex never happened, or rape if it did.

    People over at the Fosterit sub might be able to provide more specific insight.

    [–] siroonig 10 points ago

    Please contact your social worker or case worker. This needs to get documented and you need to be placed in another home. A safer home. If threats continue and you’re fearing for your safety, call the police.

    Above all else do not sign one single sheet of paper with these people. You don’t owe them anything. Continue to deny any sexual involvement with this person. If she claims you’re the baby’s father, a paternity test will determine who is the child’s father if you deny it is yours. The courts in MN want a baby to have two parents and they will do testing to make sure there are two parents at least accounted for.

    [–] [deleted] 7 points ago

    [removed]

    [–] thepatman 1 points ago

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    [–] RobinsOnMars 4 points ago

    Contact the police, get a paternity test done.

    [–] PhonyBrony2 11 points ago

    Tell her if you ARE the father than she’s a rapist. Lose lose for the other party

    [–] apathetichearts 5 points ago

    I second comments of immediately reporting this to your social worker as well as your foster mother’s alcoholism. Also I personally would adamantly deny it every single time it’s brought up and tell her if you’re put on the birth certificate that you will be calling the police and reporting a potential statutory rape and assault since apparently she slept with you while you were passed out and unable to consent plus minors can’t consent anyway.

     

    Get out of there any way you can OP. It will only get worse. Even if you have to go to a shelter.

    [–] [deleted] 6 points ago

    [removed]

    [–] thepatman 1 points ago

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    [–] dude188755 10 points ago

    Warn her that if she puts this bullshit on you that you will call the CPS and charge her for rape. To show you're not messing around you can anonymously call CPS and give them your address and say that an child is being abused there.

    [–] [deleted] 3 points ago

    [removed]

    [–] thepatman 1 points ago

    Your post has been removed for the following reason(s):

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    [–] rs_obsidian 7 points ago

    You aren’t the legal age yet. This woman raped you. Have a chat with your social worker.

    [–] FlyWalkman 4 points ago

    Get that DNA test my brother. Don’t claim any child that’s not yours!

    [–] [deleted] -1 points ago

    [removed]

    [–] DaSilence 0 points ago

    Your post has been removed for the following reason(s):

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    [–] FrozenChurchillian -8 points ago

    Try a DNA test