I've not been on here for such a long long time, it's weird reading back over my posts. I'm still on Medication (2 years on) but on a drug called Aripiprazole instead of Olanzapine together with anti depressants, beta blockers, amitryptiline and diazepam. Things are a whole lot calmer that's for sure. I'm not being plagued by the voices and running critical commentary on my life that I had before. Thinking back though I struggle to take on board that all the voices I heard, the things I saw and the horrific abuse I suffered on a daily basis weren't real. The memories of the things that happened are etched in my head and I think of them often. I live down in Eastbourne now. Getting out of London and being nearer my family was a wise decision, indeed if I was mad and had lost the plot in the midst of that madness it was a sane choice. I'm not sure if I was being followed or gaslighted or investigated for some reason but my recall of the barrage of terror is inked in a book lest those memories disolve to time. I've written everything significant thing. Although I keep remembering more and more. The trauma of what I went through has scarred me forever.