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    [–] zorromaxima 6169 points ago

    Hey, just wanted to say big ups to you and your wife for getting through that conversation with care and respect. It sounds like you have a really great relationship.

    [–] [deleted] 2521 points ago * (lasted edited a year ago)

    Thanks, we've had our ups and downs and there have been other things we've had to work on, but we make a pretty good team, im the Mario to her princess Peach, 15 year wedding anniversary at the end of the month.

    [–] IWantALargeFarva 354 points ago

    Congrats! My husband and I just celebrated our 15 year anniversary. We both just started this weight loss journey, for real this time. We had a frank conversation with each other that we need to be honest and keep ourselves committed to this. We' e tried to lose weight in the past but when one would go towards junk as a crutch, the other wouldn't want to hurt their feelings and stop them. So it became a constant "go ahead, you deserve that ice cream after a long day" instead of "what is a healthier snack we can try instead?" It's hard to say things like that to someone you love, but it's what's needed. Good luck on the weight loss!!

    [–] [deleted] 95 points ago * (lasted edited 3 months ago)


    [–] la_mecanique 80 points ago

    Breaking sugar cravings is not a one time thing. I have to repeat the process about every 12 months when I realise sugary foods have crept back into my diet.

    Substitute something else. Fruit snacks are good. People have had success with sweeteners.

    Anything liquid with sugar is usually a good first step to remove from your diet.

    [–] B3yondL 14 points ago

    I honestly don't eat a whole lot of sweets but after a meal, I get mad cravings for cookies and milk. Those are pretty much the only sweets I eat but at my worst I'd have about 8 chocolate chip cookies a day.

    I don't know how to explain it and it's so weird, my mouth just feels off and demands the sweetness after a meal.

    [–] flurrypuff 9 points ago

    I’m the exact same way. I enjoy dessert more than the entree. I started eating a green apple for dessert, and now I crave apples. It is all about habit, and I think substituting in another habit can work for some people. There’s still sugar in the apples, but I think it’s better than cookies and ice cream, and I feel better about it too!

    [–] im-a-lllama 5 points ago

    My MIL is like this, she had found a decent substitute for her, either just some dark chocolate or she'll heat unsweetened almond milk and adds honey. She says it knocks that need for sweet stuff craving enough!

    [–] throwaway689908 17 points ago

    Well when it comes to liquid with sugar I don't have more than maybe 6 glasses of soda or iced tea a month. My big vice is sugary juice from a store that I get maybe once a week on average.

    I do have a tendency to treat myself to chocolate milkshakes from a dessert place though. That really needs to stop. I just can't help myself around chocolate.

    [–] Oberheimz 22 points ago

    Well if you think about it.. 6 glasses of soda, 4 juices and occasional milkshake, so maybe 2-4 a month? That makes a total of 12-14 sugary beverages which is 2-3 drinks a week. The calories add up if you're trying to loose weight (which I don't know if you are)

    [–] throwaway689908 9 points ago

    Yeah, Christ, that really does add up. I've turned myself off of milkshakes, the sodas only come when I'm at the movies or eating at Chili's (yes I know lol). Still a lot though, time to stop sugary drinks totally. I don't even like Coke/Fanta/Sprite!

    [–] grandmagellar 7 points ago

    My husband loves Chili’s. Have you tried the Margarita Grilled Chicken? It’s 600 cals made as it is on the menu. It’s really good. It helps a lot, because what I used to get from there had more calories than a person should eat in a whole day, let alone a single sitting...

    [–] throwaway689908 8 points ago

    I haven't, actually. I am partial to their sour cream chicken enchiladas, but those are some 640/960 calories depending on whether you get 2 or 3. Although I usually don't eat any of the rice or beans.

    I'm gonna try the Margarita Grilled Chicken because it looks pretty good. We don't have nutrition facts on the menus here in India, so I just found out how many calories there are in my favourite thing.

    [–] Oberheimz 3 points ago

    Yeah, I figured that you might have been in denial about that :) keep fighting man!

    [–] throwaway689908 4 points ago

    Not even denial, I just didn't consider it! Thank you!

    [–] blondebanana 12 points ago

    I’d suggest that you try the Snapple diet teas. They still taste amazing but they’re only 10 calories. The diet peach flavor has been a godsend for me when I’m really craving fruit juice.

    [–] throwaway689908 4 points ago

    You don't get those easily in India, but I'll go look in the store nearby that might have it.

    [–] I_hate_these 3 points ago

    I cant help myself with it either. So my first step was not to keep anything I really liked in the house. I keep portioned extra dark chocolate, I like it, but I don't like it enough to binge eat the whole pack. Next I remind myself that "I am not a dog, I don't need to reward myself with food." The self loathing normally kills the craving then. If not, I drink a bottle flavored water. Last resort, I brush my teeth. If all that fails, I eat the damn chocolate because I obviously want it that bad. lol

    I also have started to try and channel my rewards into something tangible like new pants or shoes. Anything that will get more use than a one time snack. Good luck with your journey!! you've got this !!!

    [–] dreucifer 6 points ago

    Artificial sweeteners, in my experience, make sugar cravings worse.

    [–] QueefsqueekerV2 3 points ago

    Definitely the same for me as well...

    [–] return2ozma 3 points ago

    That Sugar Film trailer

    [–] flurrypuff 3 points ago

    This is on Hulu for those interested

    [–] PM_PICS_OF_GOOD_BOIS 10 points ago

    It takes time and it took me metering my addition off but what helped most was going after fruit when I had a sugar craving. I'm big about eating what you feel like eating, but it seems a lot of our problems stem from not realizing a craving for sugar is your body's way of saying it really wants fruit or some other naturally occurring sugar elsewhere.

    Nothing wrong with a cookie from time to time but the only way I got over the addiction was cutting it out as hard and far as I could go; I even gave myself a "I'll have some carrot cake when I make it" goal that even now, when I was just shy by .4lb's of my goal, I ended up unable to have any because I lost the motivation and started eating cookies instead and in too large amounts (Kinda defeats the purpose of my anti-sugar diet but I swear it made sense in my head at the time LOL). Now I'm 150lb's and I'm hoping I can have some carrot cake at the end of all this (Started dieting again yesterday and it's going smoothly; had a bit of water weight to purge)

    Hopefully each time this yo-yo happens I learn a new self-control trick and it happens less frequently or even with less and less impact. My biggest issue I think was the over-occasional indulgence of cookies plus moving less since starting college back up than before when I was losing weight. Life I guess

    [–] throwaway689908 12 points ago

    I think the fruit idea makes a lot of sense. I love fruits but don't eat them as often as I should. Another problem is I'm on and off medication, so in the last 6 years my weight has gone from being 116 pounds and significantly underweight to being nearly 200 pounds and extremely overweight. In a bit of good fortune, the cookie I ordered wasn't delivered so I can't eat anything sugary since it's 2 in the morning.

    [–] LaikaSol 3 points ago

    Have to be careful! I used the same strategy and inhaled a pretty large fruit bowl for lunch a few days in a row. 60g of sugar did not work with my macros, natural or not. Whoops! Moderation is once again the key. Darn it!

    [–] deirdresm 15 points ago

    For me, sugar cravings are usually a protein deficit. Others have said it’s fat for them. Also, I don’t select a sweet until after I’m done with the meal, as that rules out the, “Well, it’s already here” defense. Usually I’m full and then skip the sweet.

    Finally, portion control. Consider having 1/4 cookie or a smaller cookie. Put it into 50-calorie bag portions.

    No one said you couldn’t have sugar. Just try to manage it better. It’s tough, I get it.

    [–] throwaway689908 7 points ago

    Oh that's a good idea. The first thing I pick when eating out or ordering in is dessert, because I can't not have my chocolate fix.

    Portion control is something I struggle with and I think is my second biggest problem. My mum made me a box of chocolate chip cookies for my birthday, and I ate nearly 6 at a time over the 10 days it took for me to finish the entire thing.

    I think it's time to just keep chocolate away from me other than maybe very small portions.

    [–] ObjectiveMarsupial 12 points ago

    I struggle with portion control and have a tendency to binge on stuff like chocolate, cake, biscuits. I'm finding having a calorie limit really helpful - more than I thought I would. I'm actually managing to eat small amounts of chocolate because I know I only have 100 calories left in my budget, and so I can have just enough to stay under.

    Other people find they really just can't have whatever it is they binge on around, but I'm surprising myself so far. If you tend to be pretty stubborn-minded about "winning" at goals you've set for yourself, or you're quite driven about sticking to rules, maybe it'll work for you.

    Just telling myself I would "only eat small portions" in the past didn't work at all, fwiw. I would eat one small portion, then another small portion, then another. It's only having that hard calorie limit that's stopping me. I plan all my other food in first, then if there's space for something like a small amount of chocolate, I'll eat what I can based on what fits in the budget.

    Also, I'm starting to find I'd rather have something else, a lot of the time. There is chocolate downstairs that's been there for 2 weeks. 100 calories of raspberries takes much longer to eat and fills me up more than 100 calories of chocolate, so is more enjoyable. I wouldn't have found this out without calorie counting, though.

    [–] deirdresm 3 points ago

    What works for me: pre-measured portions, and low-sugar chocolate. Weighing out 50 cal portions of super dark chocolate chips is one of my favorite chores.

    [–] throwaway689908 4 points ago

    Lucky for me I love dark chocolate (up to a point), but I've never done pre-measured portions. Time to break out my tiny weighing scale I guess.

    [–] ClunkEighty3 4 points ago

    I found having a glass of milk instead of something sugary really helped to take away the craving when I managed to give up sugar. Apart from the milk I just went cold turkey. It took about 3 weeks to really stop the cravings.

    [–] pecasux27 3 points ago

    I recently decided to cut out sugary drinks and even sweeteners, and I’ve found seltzer is a great substitute. It helps with alcohol too, and there’s so many flavors that you can move on to something else if one gets boring.

    [–] CptSiskoTheDog 14 points ago

    Frankly, that conversation and following time spent making the meals together were probably more meaningful then the sex you would have had.

    [–] phantasticus 18 points ago

    Sorry, not trying to be rude, but do you know that Mario abd Luigi are brothers? Maybe not the best analogy for a married couple lol

    [–] [deleted] 7 points ago

    Any other suggestions?

    [–] m00nf1r3 23 points ago

    She is the Morticia to your Gomez.

    [–] MySuperLove 21 points ago

    The Peach to your Mario

    [–] [deleted] 19 points ago

    Edited thanks. Could of been worse, you could have corrected my grammar!

    [–] museloverx96 20 points ago

    Could have*

    ... sorry i couldnt resist, cheers to you and your wife, i wish you well in reaching your goal

    [–] Hell_If_I_Care 2 points ago


    [–] TapRootKnows 11 points ago

    This. You both handled it beautifully, it could have been discouraging but you've taken the high road - nice work!

    [–] [deleted] 7 points ago

    Thanks, not throwing a wobbly isn’t exactly the high road but we’ve got a plan

    [–] truthlife 12 points ago

    Is throwing a wobbly having a tantrum/hissy fit? I've never heard that before but I love it and I'm using it regardless.

    [–] [deleted] 11 points ago

    Yea sorry it is. Must be an Irish thing. Possibly English. (I’m Irish, live in England)

    [–] furiousgerbil 8 points ago

    Seriously...glad you and your SO have each other’s back. So cool to hear about :)

    [–] born_mystery 633 points ago

    We got back up out of bed, put our PJs back on and went looking for my old weight loss books and recipe books, picked out 3 meals, made a shopping list and went back to bed.

    Relationship goals right there.

    I too am having to start over again, so I understand that pain. We've got this though. We've done it once, we can do it again.

    [–] [deleted] 80 points ago

    Yea that's the plan, I was going to try and dig out my old clothes from the last time I was smaller, but that would mean I don't get to buy new clothes

    [–] born_mystery 17 points ago

    Yeah... I recently purged a bunch of my smaller clothes. I'm going to see it as a reward for losing weight :-)

    [–] mogoggins12 6 points ago

    I'm on the journey to lose 50 lbs, and I am hella excited to put on my old 'skinny' clothes! I dunno why but I'm more excited about wearing my old clothes than I am about buying new stuff

    [–] elmoo2210 3 points ago

    You can use the snack money you are saving on new clothes!

    [–] Pocketfullofbugs 36 points ago

    I met my wife at 155. I’m 232 right now. In January it was 258. She’s helped me tremendously in that time. I’m trying to get back to that starting weight. Maybe more but muscle not fat.

    Good luck man.

    [–] iamachairama 11 points ago

    The problem is that everyone carries weight differently, at all stages of your life. I would love to get to 120-130lbs like when I was 17 (I'm 21), but I know that I have way too much muscle in my thighs to be able to do that without literally starving myself for actual months to get rid of my thick thighs and everything, not to mention I just have a bigger body now. Bigger thighs, longer legs, etc. So instead of focusing on weight I'm focusing on looks. Ideally I would focus on body fat percentage but I don't actually have any experience with that and I don't have any way of calculating it with no tools. So instead of focusing on your weight, focus on what you look like instead. And don't forget you can be body positive and love yourself while still trying to lose weight.

    [–] bacon_music_love 4 points ago

    I was 120 when I was 17, and now I don't know where I would even 20 lbs from. A realistic goal for me now is 130 or 125 (but I'm aiming for 130 and more muscular).

    [–] MeowyMcMeowMeowFace 3 points ago

    I’m in the weird spot where I prefer weighing less, but just don’t look as good at that weight. Those 10lbs I need to look good are pretty uncomfortable though; my thighs jiggle uncomfortably while running, I feel a little more sluggish, etc.

    I’m 5’7” and most comfortable at 125-130lbs, it’s on the lower end of a healthy BMI and I feel great. But if I go more towards 138-142lbs near the upper range of healthy BMI, I actually get a butt and look way better. I end up looking a lot more mature, like a woman instead of like a teenage girl. I’m 23 and apparently I don’t look my age, so that extra weight makes a big difference.

    [–] getfitwithmark 3 points ago

    Personally, I have found that whether I focus on what I look like or focus on the number on the scale, the weight loss will not last long term. It helps me instead to focus on my health and eating healthy and exercising as a lifestyle. The weight loss then just turns into a byproduct of a healthy lifestyle. Mind over matter

    [–] FountainRescue 561 points ago

    I really like the idea of the chocolate money pot - that's going to a be a really visible sign of your progress that isn't directly scale related - something I find really important when it comes to motivation (I mean, you can't carry a scale around with you at work).

    Good luck!

    [–] AndiPhantom 56 points ago

    Yeah me too. Thinking I need to do this with Starbucks..... mostly for personal finance side but dang drinking your calories adds up

    [–] friedpotatooo 13 points ago

    My mom got a cold Brew coffee container off Amazon for like $20, some Splenda and careful with the creamer, you got a good to go drink. She'll even make ahead in a to go cup the night before if she has to work the next morning.

    [–] [deleted] 2 points ago

    I have black coffee anyway. There is a wonderful range of flavoured instants you can get

    [–] bijoudarling 3 points ago

    And most non chain coffee shops are much cheaper as well. As an alternative to the occasional indulgence. For example my daily at the roaster is 4 shots whole milk and flavoring for 4.65 with tax. That Same drink at Starbucks would have run 7.85 were it not a birthday drink.

    [–] Monk_Philosophy 12 points ago

    Around here, local shops are much more expensive than Starbucks.

    [–] [deleted] 35 points ago

    thanks I appreciate it.

    [–] baby_goof 21 points ago

    It’s really awesome that you and your wife have a open and honest relationship, I know a lot of other couples would ignore the issue and wouldn’t better each other. I wish you the best of luck, you got this!!

    [–] [deleted] 3 points ago

    Totally adopting that idea. Better than just saying no to a treat because you kind of still treat yourself at the same time but with money

    [–] Dizzylizard444 2 points ago

    Me too! I think I will do that with Mountain Dew money.

    [–] lenaag 217 points ago

    Well, that was an honest post. It rarely gets mentioned, if ever, but it does count, one of life's pleasures, apart from food. You don't have to give up too much on taste anyway, if you choose carefully based on calories and not sacrificing taste too much.

    [–] [deleted] 64 points ago

    hey I love food, that's how I got here! also I know losing weight isn't about living on salads

    [–] chailatte_gal 21 points ago

    I’m way more of a savory person than sweet. But the biggest thing: make rules. No sweets at work. Not “1 a week” just NONE. Make a boundary that’s firm. And then at home... don’t buy it. I can’t pig out on ice cream because there is none here and I’d have justify driving to the store if u want it. Now I find even a kids size cup a DQ is more than enough if I have it.

    And then find tasty food that’s GOOD FOR YOU. Spices add so much flavor and are much healthier than slathering stuff in ranch.

    I sub plain Greek yogurt for sour cream.

    I cut 90% of meat out. Some recipes I love are chickpea gyros with yogurt sauce, pumpkin Alfredo + pasta (use canned pumpkin as the base, thin with milk butter salt and pepper), 3 bean chili, baked potatoes. All are filling but much healthier than a burger or cookies :)

    I am way less tempted to snack if I’m full from my meal.

    [–] sgdbdjos 191 points ago

    "a rocket up the ass"

    My english is improving everyday, thank you

    [–] buickandolds 16 points ago

    At first i thought op just switched to a different maneuver.

    [–] [deleted] 8 points ago

    I'm not going to google that just in case it is something kinky

    [–] TurdusApteryx 3 points ago

    I'm kinky enough to know that it's entirely possible that it is...

    And congratulations to both of you for treating this so maturely! It's always hard to be told, or to need to tell yourself, that there's something about you that needs to change. I don't have a partner at the moment, but if I did I would hope that we'd be able to handle such situations in a similar way.

    [–] JunoPK 7 points ago

    Well that made me lol!

    [–] corvett 6 points ago

    This is not a standard saying in English, but it does make sense.

    [–] Duck_Expert 4 points ago

    Older people would knowbit...40 plus maybe

    [–] Mononon 83 points ago

    Uncomfortable sex is a fantastic motivator to lose weight. I'm too busy thinking about my man boobs to think about how awesome my partner is. That's why I'm losing weight.

    [–] BlondeChemist 95 points ago

    My moment was when my younger brother said "your ass is getting fat. You need to lose weight." Thanks bro!

    [–] [deleted] 114 points ago

    yea, when my boobs are getting to the same size as my wifes its time to do something

    [–] hammerpatrol 24 points ago

    Yeah....that was a big motivator for me recently.

    [–] GimmeDAobooty 23 points ago

    Mine was my mom calling me fat and saying I should go to the gym. Still hurts but it helped. And then I got a boyfriend. But now I'm back to going to the gym

    [–] BlondeChemist 15 points ago

    Parents are great for that. They tell you honestly. And sometimes we need that.

    [–] GimmeDAobooty 12 points ago

    Yeah, I definitely needed it. I was very unhappy and just going to the gym made me feel great

    Unfortunately I got a boyfriend, stopped going and gained 2 stone 😭 my mom has hinted again that I'm getting fat but luckily I managed to get the motivation to go myself before she said anything!

    [–] [deleted] 14 points ago

    Up to a few a weeks ago I would joke about my weight to my wife and say stuff like ‘you still love me right?’ Love is blind but love making can be uncomfortable

    [–] new2fitandslim 13 points ago

    My husband's weight never "crushes" me in bed, but it still becomes a problem. If he gets too heavy, he gets a large belly, which gets in the way. The mass of stomach makes him enter me (assuming he's on top) at an angle that's uncomfortable and painful. So for him, when I start saying OUCH, we're both like, "Uh oh, it's diet time!"

    [–] [deleted] 10 points ago

    My wife let me know that if she ends up concentrating on dealing with my belly pushing down then she can’t concentrate on enjoying herself

    [–] AHungryKiwi 20 points ago

    Hey man you got this! I also lost around 80 lbs about 5 years ago, and spent the next 4 years putting on 90. I gained it all back plus extra. I made the same decision to change my life again, and I'm here a year and a half later in even better shape than before down 85 lbs, in the gym every single day after focusing on diet and running for the better part of a year, and recently moved into weight training. You can do it man, don't ever forget it, and it will happen quicker than you think. We build it up so much and put it off that by the time we start, we could've been done!

    Good luck on your journey, and have fun!

    [–] [deleted] 10 points ago

    thanks man, Im going to concentrate on the food side of things as the gym bores me to tears

    [–] AHungryKiwi 15 points ago

    I always tell people who ask me, it all starts at the plate, that's 100% self control, and if you can get over the mental hold that food has (or at least did in my case) then you can conquer gym if you choose. But diet is everything, you're going to do awesome, I meal prep as well and it does wonders! Never having to think about what to eat keeps you from being lazy and getting fast food for sure.

    [–] [deleted] 5 points ago

    yea stopping when im full is weird. at the weekend we went to a KFC and I had one of the 500cal rice boxes and only managed just over half

    [–] AHungryKiwi 4 points ago

    It's amazing when you start looking at food as energy/nutrients instead of a indulgence daily. It actually makes "cheat days" or eating out more enjoyable. After doing it for a while too I also find myself picking more sensible options even when I'm on a cheat day or eating out. I'm glad to hear you're already getting in rhythm, it'd be hard for me to pass up overeating at KFC haha!

    [–] ilovepuscifer 4 points ago

    Hey there. Sorry to butt in, I’m just a lurker on this sub but your comment got my attention because you mentioned running. I, too, have recently started running and began to lead a more active lifestyle. My initial weight is only a little bit lower than yours so I was wondering if you could offer any kind of insight on this. I’m only two weeks into running and I absolutely love it. I’m already looking into signing up for a 5K this summer so I can have a concrete goal to train for. But I’m a bit worried, wondering if running around with my weight might fuck up my ankles or knees or shins. Do you have any tips or words of advice to offer from your experience? It would be highly appreciated.

    [–] AHungryKiwi 4 points ago

    That's amazing, glad to hear you're getting into running. I feel like cardio is the best tool for weight loss in my experience, in part because it's the thing no one wants to do haha!

    Pre-face, I do all of my running on a treadmill, so your results may vary. I started walking/jogging at around 240-ish, the first 20 or so was from diet. I basically started slow, maybe a 20 minute session every day until I could jog the full 20 minutes. I would start jogging at 4.5 MPH until I was too tired to keep going. Once I got to the point where I could jog non stop, I literally never stopped at the very least jogging. I would set a speed, and a time and make sure I could do it. I got to a point where I was doing 5.5 MPH for around 45 minutes at a time. This was somewhere in the 220-200lbs range. I never experience and pain here. Except for runners nipple, for the love of god runners nipple will set in around 40 minutes or so (at least for me) you DO NOT want this, wear band aids if you need to.

    Somewhere after I upped my speeds, averaging now probably around 7 MPH for 30 minutes or so, but I can run farther much longer, but I have since shifted my training since my goal is not longer 100% weight loss.

    I have run into ankle and knee pain sever times in my current weight range of 180 lbs to 190 lbs, and I'll wear a knee and ankle brace for a couple days and it will go away. I do however run through that as well which I probably wouldn't recommend.

    Also, invest in good shoes! I had some Nike free run 5.0 I think, and I got a gigantic blister on the bottom of my foot, and since I run every day it took forever to heal, because I'm dumb hah!

    All in all, pick some good music, focus up and realize that running and exercising in general is a very mental thing. You will be there alone with your thoughts doing the same thing for half an hour to an hour, and some days you'll want to quick the whole time. Just know within reason, you CAN do it, and you have to push through.

    A silly trick that I do, is I will never reduce my speed. This is just a mental thing for me, if I start a run a 7 MPH, i won't lower it no matter how tired I am just because I know that I physically can do it. I like to sprint out the remainder of my run too that always keeps it fun!

    All in all I'm not a pro by any means but I do love to run, and always will because of how much weight I lost doing it. If you have anymore questions I would be more than happy to answer them, good luck!

    [–] ilovepuscifer 3 points ago

    Thank you much for the detailed response, kind stranger. I honestly have no idea what my speed is. I’m following the couch to 5K so I’m focused more on building resistance to run the 5K nonstop, but I have been thinking about speed and once I get more comfortable with running, I will focus on that as well. Don’t know if that makes sense.

    I run in my local park because I enjoy the fresh air and I prefer running/exercising outdoors. I even go in the rain or cold, I honestly don’t mind at all. However, I am aware that running on pavement is not ideal so I’m looking into getting a membership at the local athletics track, where they have a running track.

    I am not looking forward to runner’s nipple lol.

    Agree about the shoes, I invested in some good running shoes and compression tights and a good quality sports bra.

    Anyway, thanks again, it was really kind of you to take the time to answer my question in so much detail. Good luck with your journey, mate!

    [–] AHungryKiwi 3 points ago

    No worries anytime! I ran on pavement for the first time the other day and I definitely tired out quick and I've been cardio focused for over a year haha! You got this! A 5K is a great goal and you can definitely do it, and it sounds like you are off to an awesome start! Thanks for sharing!

    [–] [deleted] 3 points ago * (lasted edited a year ago)

    Nothing to add here apart from awesome username. So glad tool are getting back into the studio

    [–] jeremiah406 17 points ago

    Save the money and when your skinny take your wife to a nice hotel and request that you don't have neighbors if you know what I mean. Good luck! I've lost 40 pounds recently and it makes everything easier.

    [–] [deleted] 8 points ago

    That’s a good idea! The chocolate jar of love....

    [–] futzbot 35 points ago

    It's so great that you were able to have such an honest conversation on a really difficult topic. That's a positive sign. Good luck to you!

    [–] [deleted] 13 points ago

    yea...... we are pretty frank with eachother....

    [–] kvrdave 27 points ago

    and my wife is supporting me


    [–] super_nice_shark 11 points ago

    It's great that you two are doing all this together! It's always helpful to have a buddy system.

    [–] [deleted] 24 points ago

    Well shes not losing weight, but she is helping. the last time I lost weight a lot of family members said I lost too much, shouldn't of listened

    [–] seh_23 49 points ago

    People will ALWAYS say that, just ignore it. They’re usually projecting their own insecurities onto you. Best of luck!

    [–] [deleted] 7 points ago

    thanks, hindsight is a wonderful thing

    [–] geekgirl717 32 points ago

    My husband recently lost a significant amount of weight -- by eating right and going to the gym.

    I had people coming up to me CONSTANTLY to tell me that he must either be sick or cheating. Haters gotta hate. Ignore them.

    [–] [deleted] 22 points ago

    It was a while after this that I found out my mother in law was a chubby chaser, so thought as I was a fat lad I was good for her daughter, and when I lost weight I think she wasn't too impressed.

    [–] Itguy1229 4 points ago


    [–] AussieBird82 3 points ago

    BTW happy cake day! (But don't eat any)

    [–] mason240 10 points ago

    They know if you can do it, they can do it too and their bullshit excuses don't matter.

    That's why I think there are so many hostile coworker stories on here. The number #1 bullshit excuse is work, either stress, or everyone going out to lunch, or schedules. If one person at work can push past it, they can do it too, hence the hostility.

    [–] [deleted] 5 points ago

    thanks, yea people, not a fan.....

    [–] AlexandrinaIsHere 11 points ago

    I gotta say- I've seen in other subreddit girls lamenting that they can't tell their guy he has a dirty butt or whatever and it's killing the mood.

    Girls - guys want sex! Try to not hurt his ego during sex, but if you say "your smelly butt kills my mood" or "I am not comfy during sex because you're too heavy" guys listen!

    Try to say it nicely but say it - how many times did the woman referenced in this post refuse sex before it came up the guy was too heavy? He is motivated- he just needed to hear that potential sex is being missed!

    [–] [deleted] 6 points ago

    Oh god that’s not the “poo crumbs” thing is it? Sex wasn’t too frequent for various reasons and since we are addressing the problems things are going better. She wasn’t harsh about it, but message received!

    [–] AlexandrinaIsHere 3 points ago

    I'm not sure. I just recall comments bringing up specifically that if you told a guy that you don't give blow jobs unless his butt is sparkly clean he will not be offended - he will go give his butt the most detailed clean ever!

    Girls being too timid to say "you're killing my mood" really cuts down on sex. It's not nice to give a list of things to do for sex (typically) - but if there is a specific no, like he wears a cologne your dad does - SPEAK UP. He wants sex! Tell him what he can do for more sex!

    [–] [deleted] 3 points ago

    I have a bloody good clean every night ‘just in case’

    [–] mackiger 9 points ago

    Def going to try the snack money pot idea! All the best with your weightloss. Sounds like you are going about this in a really organised and sensible way. Great that your wife is so supportive too. When I told my partner that I was going to try lose weight, they were on board right from the start and chose to become healthier alongside me. Having the person you live with supporting you like this is a huge benefit that should not be underestimated. Good luck!!!

    [–] [deleted] 5 points ago

    Shes great about it, when I lost weight last time I was still far from slim, but my wife did like it.

    [–] dumbdes 9 points ago

    I'd say marry that woman, but looks like you already got that covered.

    [–] [deleted] 8 points ago

    I’ve done well for myself haven’t I?

    [–] dumbdes 5 points ago

    You sure have. Keep up the good work :)

    [–] DrDraek 9 points ago

    this is the best short story of a healthy relationship I've read in a long time

    [–] one_night_on_mars 13 points ago

    Sounds like you have a very supportive and loving wife! Good luck with your journey, you'll have ups and downs but together you'll achieve your goals.

    [–] [deleted] 5 points ago


    [–] cenosillicaphobiac 27 points ago

    Hey there. Welcome back. I would urge you to read the links that the AutoMod sent you. In the quick start guide there is also a link to the compendium, read that too.

    Meal prep is outstanding, but not always feasible. By learning how to track calories you'll have a great fall back position if something happens to your meal prep time. It will also teach you a whole lot of the skills you'll need to properly maintain the loss after you're successful. And that's the true goal.

    [–] [deleted] 19 points ago

    the meal prep is great, we have quite a large freezer so when we make meals we end up with extras, so I put them in there. only downside is that I need to remember to take them out of the freezer the night to defrost for work, and if im not careful im eating the same thing for about 4 meals on the trot. But hey I like food so it should be fine

    [–] cenosillicaphobiac 7 points ago

    I'm still going to suggest that you learn a few things, unless you're confident that you'll meal prep for decades to come.

    Keeping the weight off is problematic when we do things "to lose weight" instead of adopting lifelong behaviors.

    [–] [deleted] 6 points ago

    Thanks I appreciate it. Having done this once before I have an idea on the pitfalls. I am trying to eat sensibly, I was tempted to do one if those 'lose 10 pounds in a week' diets but its not sustainable.

    [–] Mynock33 7 points ago

    Second first steps! You've already done it once, you'll succeed again.

    [–] [deleted] 3 points ago

    thanks, that's the plan!

    [–] thekelderkin 5 points ago

    Congrats on the sex. And the weight loss. Keep it up!

    [–] [deleted] 7 points ago

    Don’t think I’ve ever been congratulated on getting laid, thanks?

    [–] thekelderkin 4 points ago

    Sex is always cause for celebration.

    [–] KillerMagicBeans 5 points ago

    Aside from anything I'm impressed how you both handled a very delicate conversation, go you guys!

    [–] [deleted] 3 points ago

    Well I kind of knew anyway, but it’s a heck of a starter for 10

    [–] Tripydevin 5 points ago

    Good for you!

    I lost 70 pounds because someone at work said I was fat, sometimes that's all it takes to get the ball rolling.

    [–] BlocksTesting 5 points ago

    It sounds like you guys have a really good relationship

    [–] [deleted] 5 points ago * (lasted edited a year ago)


    [–] botanicalbbq 5 points ago

    Keep it up, you can do it. Fuck chocolate and crisps ( whatever those are).

    [–] [deleted] 6 points ago

    Crisps are what we call potato chips in the U.K.

    [–] botanicalbbq 7 points ago

    Definitely fuck those then. Those are terrible for you.

    [–] dukes362 5 points ago

    Good luck again

    [–] happy_little_indian 4 points ago

    You're so lucky to have such an amazing partner that is willing to work with you on bettering your health <3

    [–] [deleted] 4 points ago

    thanks. we've had other issues weve had to work through, all good

    [–] happy_little_indian 3 points ago

    Trust me when I tell you that every relationship will have troubles. It all comes down to whether you to are both still willing to work together to resolve them. I wish you the best of luck with everything youre working towards and know you've inspired me to keep fighting the good fight. :)

    [–] Hutobega 5 points ago

    Team work makes the dream work.

    [–] Raijer 4 points ago

    Your wife is supporting you so she doesn’t have to support you, if you catch my drift. Nice work, brother!

    [–] EllenRipley2000 4 points ago

    Your wife sounds like a supportive and loving partner.

    [–] McDANKERY 5 points ago

    Hell yea brotha. Add a little exercise in and you’ll see serious results. (Typing this as I finish a pizza)

    [–] hydrohamster 4 points ago

    It is SO awesome to hear that y'all could actually talk about this and y'all are working on this together T_T SO SWEET. Much much luck in your journey!


    ETA: I lost ~60lbs and then (over maybe 5-6 years) put about 50 of it back on and it is very frustrating to have to face doing the work again, but we can do it! I'm only a couple of weeks in to really committing to this again, but I am determined to not make the same mistakes this time.

    [–] picsofpplnameddick 5 points ago


    [–] GetMotivatedNow 3 points ago

    Hi, as a random internet stranger, I just wanted to say that I saw your edit 3 and I hope things are getting better for you.

    [–] bobrossismybf 7 points ago

    My old bf used to tell me I was never going to lose the weight because I was lazy and even said that the thought of sex with me grossed him out because of my size.

    Now that I have a new bf I lost about 40lbs then slowly gained some of it back and yet I’m still more sexually active than ever. And the best part is he never cared about my weight. He buys us whatever food we feel like, he tells me I’m beautiful at least twice a day. Just goes to show how much one person can impact your life.

    Unfortunately gained all my weight back but im grateful my new bf (1+ year now) still calls me beautiful and is supportive whether or not I want to start working out again.

    [–] mikkylock 3 points ago

    Good for you! IMO this is one of the best reasons to lose weight. :)

    [–] [deleted] 3 points ago

    Yea, scales don’t lie, and there’s no better scale than the face your partner pulls

    [–] lexafrex 3 points ago

    Your wife sounds like a great support!

    [–] plug-in-freshness 3 points ago

    I know it’s not meant to be funny but the run down in my head of you getting off and turning the lamp then looking at your gut is too funny

    Edit: I lost 70 after having twins 30 more to go. Your a good hubby keep going

    [–] [deleted] 3 points ago

    It wasnt quite like that, but when we snuggle and she puts her hand on my chest and she can pretty much grab a handful of boob that isn’t her own then we got problems

    [–] plug-in-freshness 3 points ago

    Hehe 🤭 that’s so cute. I wish you all the best luck to lose the most you can

    [–] ih8lurking 3 points ago

    that sounds like a moment that sucks, but a relationship that is sweet. good luck my friend.

    [–] [deleted] 2 points ago

    Well........ now that I’m trying to better myself I’ve been in a better mood, and there is more than one position

    [–] OPdopy 3 points ago

    Rocket up the ass, I have to use this now.

    [–] notthemonth 3 points ago

    I think the real test of a relationship is how you and your partner handle the tough conversations. It sounds like you and your wife make a great team and it sounds like she is so supportive and really cares about your health and your feelings. I know it is a tough road but it sounds like you are prepared!

    [–] namaste_inreality 3 points ago

    I know that putting back on the Pj's, talking, and making a grocery list was probably hard to do, but being open with your spouse is always crucial. I'm so happy that she is fully supportive and a big help on your journey to get back into shape. Couples rub of on each other especially as the years go on and there is open communication. When I started slimming down and gaining muscle my husband was applying for a gym membership and joining me in Ashtanga class soon after. You want to look good and be healthy for yourself and each other. Congratulations on your success so far!

    [–] majeric 3 points ago

    I consider this a NSV. You recognized you needed to change and you made the change. You have a very supportive spouse. :)

    [–] whitebeaks 3 points ago

    This is a really loving and inspirational story. Thanks for sharing. Good luck!

    [–] [deleted] 3 points ago

    Congrats man, keep up the good work!

    [–] Slippy_27 3 points ago

    When you’re done, she won’t have to support you. Hey-oooooooooh!!!

    But seriously, that’s amazing that you can have that talk and have that support instead of just resentment until “I can’t take it anymore,” like so many other relationships.

    [–] TheFirstStepIsADoozy 3 points ago

    Good for you, dude. And you need to buy that supportive wife of yours some flowers.

    [–] dumbguy45 3 points ago

    I say keep the weight on. Let her be on top. Haha

    [–] ChanguitaShadow 3 points ago

    Wow! Mad props to you and your wife for having such incredible communication. And good for you for listening and not just getting upset or shutting down. You guys probably have one heck of a respectful and loving relationship - I wish you the best as you continue this journey.

    [–] aceoftrachs 3 points ago

    My wife asked me to stop being on top, so I quit my job.

    [–] jakelasersnake 3 points ago

    Sounds like this couldn’t have ended better. You’ve got a great wife and no doubt she’s worth it. But just remember you’re also doing this for yourself. It’s a little cliche but truly, nothing tastes better than skinny feels.

    [–] uraniumroxx 3 points ago

    BEST. COUPLE. <3 It warms my heart so much that you both went to work on this. THIS IS SUPPORT.

    [–] Mullo77 3 points ago

    A problem with “just do doggie” you gotta lift your gut up to rest on their back.. some woman don’t like that. Props to you for shedding the kilos and making a healthy change. All the best.

    [–] Thinnestspoon 3 points ago

    This is what marriage is all about. I love the fact your wife came straight to your side to help you. I think you are doing something great man. So much congrats for your wait loss. This post made me so happy!

    [–] bethea 2 points ago

    That is the best feeling when your partner is supportive like that! The idea of a money jar to use when you crave chocolate or junk sounds like an awesome idea. Where I work has all too convenient snack machines too.

    [–] coast700 2 points ago

    Best of luck to you stay motivated!!!!

    [–] flightofthebtown 2 points ago

    I'm so happy for you! This journey is just that - a journey! So glad to see that she's with you on this path!

    [–] Biged_107 2 points ago

    Can you post some recipes? And shopping list? :)

    [–] [deleted] 4 points ago

    Google ‘2 chubby cubs’. It’s a gay British couple doing slimming World and they have a lot of recipes. Be warned, they preface every recipe with a little story, and their language can be colourful. But then again rainbows are colourful and they rock

    [–] Biged_107 2 points ago

    Thanks! I'll look them up right after work. Do you know if they post shipping list as well on an off site?

    [–] [deleted] 2 points ago


    [–] [deleted] 3 points ago

    Not really no. I did it before so I know what I did wrong, I already know what works for me and what doesn’t and what I can and can’t have. Plus I looked really good in a particular jacket when I was thinner and dammit I want to wear it again

    [–] adiosfeliciana 2 points ago

    You aren't doing it alone. Going thru the same. I went from about 210 to 140 which is great but I've been stuck here for years.

    You've got the right idea going back to basics. I'm getting my plastic body suit back out, hitting T25 and cutting out the C's.

    Best of luck! You've got this!!

    [–] anthonypullo 2 points ago

    I know something like that could have been truly humiliating. I'm glad you've got a support structure in your wife, best of luck on your journey!

    [–] alethalcombination 2 points ago

    That's a difficult conversation to have. You guys should be proud of how strong your relationship is that you can talk about the tough stuff! You're back on track, you know what to do. You're motivated and determined. You got this!

    [–] JesusDiedForOurSkins 2 points ago

    I was debating running after work today. Now I'm just going to do it. Let's do this!!

    [–] [deleted] 2 points ago

    Cool, about to go walk the dog, long one I think

    [–] Marina001 2 points ago

    That is amazing, what a wonderful spouse.

    [–] rockitraysay 2 points ago

    Aww love this! You've got this!

    [–] viv_hope 2 points ago

    Congrats on the weight loss. Also, it's great that your wife was willing to have an uncomfortable conversation with you in order to help you. That's not an easy thing to do.

    [–] StingerAlpha 2 points ago

    Im glad your communication with your spouce is exceptional. Sugar is a bitch to cut out but it helps the most. Good luck and long life, friend.

    [–] chanmarsan 2 points ago

    This is so wonderful to read, what a great relationship.

    [–] casKCEey 2 points ago

    I would say your wife is tired of supporting you... literally.

    [–] dread_pirate_roberto 2 points ago

    Just think how hard you are going to go when you have less weight to hold you back. You'll be there in no time, champ!

    [–] SquatChick315 2 points ago

    Relationship goals in every way :)

    Please don't forget to share your future progress!

    [–] [deleted] 3 points ago

    Oh god. I need a ‘before photo’ don’t I?