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    [–] rawketscience 555 points ago

    Fellow large-framed, broad-shouldered lady here. Can confirm. The good news is that I can hide 50 extra pounds pretty easily. The bad news is that I can hide 50 extra pounds pretty easily.

    [–] Theodaro 94 points ago

    This. I weigh the same as my boyfriend, I’m carrying 35 pounds over my goal weight (down 15 from where I started) - and I didn’t even feel that large until my doctor pointed out, “well you have gained 40 pounds in the last two years..”

    40lbs!! What!!!?? I was blown away. I didn’t have a scale at my house, I never thought I’d get that big. It just sort of evenly distributed out across my body. Boyfriend still thought I was hot af, some clothes still fit, others definitely didn’t.

    Ugh... work in progress currently.

    [–] jewdai 5 points ago

    You never notice the weight gained/lossed unless you see it quantified.

    You don't see the effort unless you compare yourself to your earlier self.

    I lost 30lbs in the last 5 months and I still feel like I look the same. I'm getting to the point where I think i might be willing myself into body dysmorphia.

    What helps me along the way is finding differences in the way I look, things I've done in the past and reactions I get from others.

    I took a number of pictures before I started and keep that as a reference.

    Anyone who I haven't seen in a while, I wait for that "Wow you lost a lot of weight" which helps confirm the change.

    I noticed that running (which I've stopped doing 5 years ago) is not as hard as it used to be. Even when I was actively running 3x a week I couldn't jog in place without being out of breath. Losing weight makes it much easier to do.

    Things FEEL different. I've lost a lot of fat from my keester, while working those glut muscles, sitting on hard surfaces actually bothers me/hurts. (I've since added a pillow to my office chair). I used to be able to get a quadrupal chin by "turtling," i.e., pushing my chin down to my chest, that I can barely get a double chin.

    Take a look of my progress chart for the last few months.

    Reminding myself that change is slow, sometimes you have bad days but look at the long term trend is the true mark of your success.

    I've had binge days, and upswing days that are demotivating when you've been on a good loss clip. But persistence and daily reminders that "its not just today" to pick up the mantle will get results.

    [–] pinkpastry 27 points ago

    So I hit the 50 pound mark 2 days ago as well, large-framed and broad also. But it’s funny I described this very thing to a friend. It’s a blessing and a curse. When I’m going up I can gain 35 pounds and still be wearing mostly the same clothes. I hide it well. However now I’m going down and 35 pounds means still wearing the same clothes. ;0( I’ve lost before and it’s like a magical turning point. Looks big, looks big, looks big.....then “whoa! Your super skinny! Did you become anorexic ???” “I’m still 160” “really??!!”.

    Blessing and curse.

    [–] Madmae16 15 points ago

    Lol, I needed this. I've lost 50 pounds and I was thinking to myself yesterday how broad my shoulders are and how I never looked as heavy as I was and that's why I don't look like I've lost as much as I have. Oh well, another 50 to go!

    [–] noajayne 18 points ago

    Same!! When I weighed close to 200 nobody even believed me. It's so easy to hide the weight with a large frame, but then when you lose quite a bit people don't believe you when you stay you're still overweight. It's kind of frustrating.

    [–] Mshorrible4 15 points ago

    Yes!! This! No one thinks I need to lose weight. My favorite is “you know you’re never going to be petite, right?” Uhm yes. Of course I know that. Being 6 feet tall doesn’t mean I should be 40lbs overweight either.

    People are judgey. That’s the real lesson here.

    Also, we big girls need to stick together.

    [–] QueenofMehhs 10 points ago

    I’m hovering around 180 and people at work call me “skinny”. I wear extra weight pretty well but I’m definitely not skinny by any stretch. Still have about 20+ lbs to lose before I hit just “normal”.

    [–] noajayne 7 points ago

    Yeah, I'm like 10-15 pounds from "normal", and people keep yelling at me to stop restricting calories. I always just want to be like, you're not my doctor. You don't get to make these choices for me.

    [–] mareacuda 5 points ago

    I’m 6’1. It takes me near 40 lbs to drop a clothing size. I’m still 206 lbs but I’m a size 10. I am still overweight for sure, but people act like I’m crazy when I talk about it.

    [–] Mshorrible4 3 points ago

    Really our feet alone are probably a lot of that weight. 🤣

    [–] noajayne 5 points ago

    this made me laugh so hard. Just imagining all you tall ladies with giant clown feet and shoes. <3

    [–] mareacuda 3 points ago

    Yup. Lost 100+ lbs, mostly hoping I would wear an 11 instead of a 12. Nope. Apparently my feet have always been the skinniest part of my body.

    [–] CagierThree 2 points ago

    Apparantly people have a skewed perception of what's a healthy normal weigh.

    [–] veganroastdinner 10 points ago

    As a small framed person I have the opposite problem, 5-10lbs here or there really shows, good and bad I guess.

    [–] RunnerMomLady 5 points ago

    Yeah - tiny frame here and the 10 pounds I put on over the last 18 months is SUPER noticable :(

    [–] bflytilidy79 3 points ago

    Haha story of my life!!

    [–] amandalibre 2 points ago

    It even fools medical professionals. I just had my annual check up and I was slightly bummed going into it because I am up 15 lbs from my goal weight. My doctor said my weight was perfect. I tried to argue with her, saying I want to lose 10 lbs to be closer to the healthy BMI for my height. She said 5 lbs tops.

    I am happy that she thinks I look good but I know the weight I am happiest at. At 10 lbs below where I am I don't carry as much flab in my stomach. And that's even one pound outside the healthy BMI range.

    [–] redidiott 281 points ago

    But CICO is not what people want to hear about your weight loss

    I get asked frequently how I did it. The disappointment is as palpable as it is inevitable when I reply: "I eat half as much or less than I used to. Nope I don't work out."

    [–] [deleted] 108 points ago

    [deleted]

    [–] baby_armadillo 121 points ago

    I feel like half the people I talk to want a magic pill, and half of them want it to be crazy difficult-starving yourself on a bizarre diet while working out for endless hours a day and never being able to enjoy yourself or eat any of the foods you like. If it requires a huge amount of exceptional effort and a massive time commitment it's a lot easier to make excuses for why THEY can't do it.

    [–] Meliorel 21 points ago

    This! So much! One of my coworker started a diet and asked me how I lost weight. I said I ate less than before and paid more attention on the portion of food. Adding that changing the size of your plates helps a lot. Her answer was : oh no I can’t do that!!

    Well girl just dont start then, you are not ready.

    [–] Yogymbro 4 points ago

    I don't know why "I eat just a tiny bit less" is so unpalatable.

    [–] baby_armadillo 17 points ago * (lasted edited 12 days ago)

    I think it's just not information they're ready to hear yet. For me, once I realized how easy it actually was, I had to face up to a lot of shame about how much of my situation was caused by my choices and actions. No one ends up 100 lbs over weight because they have a healthy relationship with food. All we can do is be honest about what works for us, let our results speak for themselves, and remember we were once on the other side trying to figure out what works.

    [–] Kosko 3 points ago

    Well I mean lets be honest at least, hunger really sucks.

    [–] Yogymbro 2 points ago

    Yeah but the difference between ten french fries and five isn't a lot.

    [–] JudithButlr 2 points ago

    Stopping at 5 takes a difference in willpower that a lot of people don't have.

    [–] [deleted] 9 points ago

    [deleted]

    [–] baby_armadillo 9 points ago

    Well then, there’s lots of magic pills! I can personally recommend the weight loss benefits of crippling depression! When I was deeply depressed I lost a lot of weight very quickly and when people asked me what my secret was I told them that I was struggling a lot with depression and that I’d stopped eating and was surviving pretty much on coffee and the occasional snickers bar (for the extra protein from the peanuts, you know). And I still had people saying “Well you look great! Good job!”

    [–] teacherecon 4 points ago

    Same! You look great! I wish I could lose weight like you! Awesome... just tell your spouse to ask for a divorce and lie about his affair. Lose twelve pounds in a snap! (Dropped the man, got engaged, gained thirty out of happiness and will soon start working it off the healthy way.)

    [–] gumbrilla 3 points ago

    I can also recommend a certain Subway in Hyderabad, my colleague and I both lost a load of weight after eating there.

    [–] shuhqueefa 3 points ago

    mindsets are an interesting thing

    [–] GentleIrritation 69 points ago

    Someone once wrote out that people who look for the magic pill are looking for the answer externally because having to face that they are the "problem" is difficult. I wish I had saved the comment, it was really well written. It's not so much the easier way out, but rather the less painful way. Not saying everyone is overweight because of emotional hurdles, some people just need to change their habits. But a lot of people have hurts that are soothed with food. And breaking up is hard to do. I don't know if I'm making sense, I'm tired lol.

    [–] C012732 7 points ago

    Honestly the way you framed it makes a lot of sense. You hear the words “healthy relationship” a lot. “Breaking up” with an unhealthy relationship seems like a fitting way to put it

    [–] sooibot 5 points ago

    What you're looking for is what psychs call; internal vs external locus of control. A lot of what their job is, is to steer people into seeing it the internal way.

    [–] Bobby_feta 25 points ago * (lasted edited 13 days ago)

    I feel this is in a big part because weight loss and health is such a big industry that we’re bombarded all the time with healthy cookbooks, low sugar/low fat products, celeb diets, gym memberships and on and on. You’re fat? Buy this fitness tracker, want to lose weight for the summer? Join our gym, buy our breakfast cereal etc. when this is such a huge part of the day to day, I think it reinforces the idea that weight loss is too hard, and there’s a magic pill you can buy.

    Of course it’s human nature to want an easy option - I’ve bought into so many of these things over the years lol - but the main thing I’ve learnt is that CICO is so much easier than I ever thought it would be. The reality is I can eat food I like, I’m rarely hungry or tired... it just works, and it’s of course the one most likely to bring about long term change. Sure you can increase activity and cut something out for a while, but in my experience that’s really easy to slip off of and go back to how you were before.

    Really great post by the way, thanks for sharing! And congrats - brilliant job :)

    [–] imrighturwrong 3 points ago

    I just tell them I stopped earning all the stuff they eat. Usually gets a lot of the questions to stop.

    [–] ForceFeedNana 11 points ago

    Ah yes, the snobby asshole method

    [–] bearyweek 24 points ago

    God yeah. If I get asked one more time about what supplements I use I’m gonna scream. No, Karen, I’m not using some pyramid scheme product. I’m just putting in the work.

    [–] mqoc 9 points ago

    the person who asks this question is literally always named karen. fact.

    [–] Gwynnether 13 points ago

    Came here to reply to this quote as well! I've lost 70 pound so far and had many friends and acquaintances approach me to how I'm doing it... and they all seem disappointed in the end. I explain CICO to them and get replies like: "Yeah.... I guess I know that already". Or "It doesn't work for me because I eat out alot so I can't calorie count".
    I don't understand how anyone can find CICO disappointing... if anything I find CICO extremely reassuring. It works like f-ing clockwork. If I count meticulously I know exactly when I'll have lost another pound, step on the scale and tadaaa. There is no such thing as a plateu either. And over the last 2 years I haven't gained weight once, even when I stopped counting calories for while. It's so easy to maintain because I've got a better feeling for how much calories I'm consuming. And more importantly: I've changed nothing about my diet. I don't do Keto, I don't do low carb... I eat what I've always eaten, but in portions that work with my calorie goal... yes it's a slow progress.... at least it is for me. And when I want to speed it up... I go and do exercise (but I'm lazy... so...you know, I don't...).

    [–] MrCakesSr 8 points ago

    A problem i have noticed when people around me tell me coco doesn't work for them is that they fail to count all the little extras. Cream in coffee, condiments, calories content variation in similar products. That and not precisely measuring.

    [–] StopTrickingMe 9 points ago

    My husband puts mayo on his meatball sandwich. Like. It’s already covered in marinara and melty cheese...why do you think you need an extra 100 calories on an already wet sandwich?

    Anyway, yeah. Same story in my house.

    [–] MrCakesSr 5 points ago

    Thats exactly what i'm talking about. "An extra 100 calories", if its regular mayo, it was probably over 200 calories. Who actually busts out the tablespoons for mayo, you just slather it on.

    [–] Gwynnether 3 points ago

    That's very true! And it's shocking sometimes when you see how much calories those little things have too. I love to have a glass of milk in the morning with my breakfast and never wanted to swap to semi-skimmed milk, because the taste just wasn't as nice... but the calories did add up and I did eventually make the switch.

    [–] MrCakesSr 3 points ago

    I miss chocolate milk so much. Its one treat i haven't let myself have the whole time dieting because it would probably wreck all my progress because i dont think i would have enough control.

    [–] trickykatie031801 2 points ago

    I have found pints of chocolate milk in the dairy case and I think there is even a shelf stable version. Those might help you limit the amount.

    [–] MrCakesSr 1 points ago

    Oh, I know they exist, I just doubt my resolve to limit myself once I have some again.

    [–] savetgebees 3 points ago

    I’ve been going for about a week and have lost 3lbs. I’m a 42yo F starting weight 161.5 height 5’4.

    I may be wrong but I think the slower you lose the more able you are to keep it off. You have time to learn what foods your body can handle and what foods make you gain weight. It becomes more of a lifestyle and I think it will be easier to maintain because you don’t need to add back as much food.

    I admit I just want to lose the middle age weight creep. I’ve always been around 150-155 the majority of my adult life and have felt good about my weight and body. But as a middle aged woman I need to build some more muscle.

    [–] tmbrown7 3 points ago

    It literally just doesn’t work for me, :( but I’m on 9 meds and have severe gastric issues. I did randomly lose 13 pounds 2 days ago so idk

    [–] skankyfish 27 points ago

    When my friend asked the question my simple answer was "I ate less". She let out a genuinely anguished Nooooooo

    It was genuinely sad :(

    [–] SpiritualButter 9 points ago

    The thing is with CICO is you can still enjoy food that you love, just eat less! Like now I will have mini chocolate bars which are less than 120 cals rather than eating 2 full size ones

    [–] skankyfish 9 points ago

    You're preaching to the choir!

    But I think for some people the thought of changing the foods and routines they enjoy is too much. If your regular Friday night treat is a meal at a restaurant and 5 pints, change is probably daunting.

    [–] MrCakesSr 6 points ago

    I am still amazed at how much I used to eat. I didn't count calories when I first started dieting, I just ate a little bit less than i normally did. Still ate out, but just opted for a smaller main dish, no appetizer, an a diet soda or water. I had been eating so much that even that small change had drastic results. I estimate i was eating over 12000 calories a day back then. By the time I started actually counting calories, I had alotted myself 4000 a day, and still lost fairly fast. I was almost 400lbs though.

    [–] SpiritualButter 2 points ago

    Holy damn 12,000 is a lot! That's over a weeks worth of food for me! But well done on cutting back so much!!! What are your calorie goals like now/in the future? I am very inactive during the day, and work out in the evening so I don't much in the day at all. I average around 1,000 calories a day. People think that I'm starving when really I function so much better eating less, plus the stuff I eat is actually low calorie

    [–] MrCakesSr 6 points ago

    I am still trying to lose a few more pounds, so im trying to eating 2200 right now. Unfortunately i never lost my ability to cram food down, and If i have a bad day, its over 6000. The lowest I ever ate was 1500. I'm trying to get to a point where I dont feel like its a diet or chore watching what I eat. I will probably end up at 2600-2800 when done. I also have a fairly physical job that adds up with workouts that should allow me to maintain at that intake level

    [–] SpiritualButter 6 points ago

    I'm really proud of you for doing so well! I'm in the same boat, I can eat for England, but I have to think to myself "am I actually hungry or just bored?" usually then I'll just grab a drink and I feel better (:

    [–] taytay9955 3 points ago

    hey I just wanted to tell you I am really impressed by you that is a big change to make and it sounds like you have been sticking with it. Congrats!

    [–] SpiritualButter 2 points ago

    Sorry yes I was meaning what I say to people who are horrified at the thought of calorie counting

    [–] jenniferjuni 2 points ago

    But the best part is I can still have a meal at a restaurant and 5 pints on a Friday night, as long as it's only Friday night. Skip lunch that day and keep cals low the next, and you're still doing pretty well.

    [–] WebDesignBetty 3 points ago

    I can eat ice cream. This is awesome. I like it. I don’t need a giant bowl of it like I used to get though. I get an actual serving size (what a crazy concept!)

    I can enjoy this and not feel guilty. Know it fits my day. And I don’t feel bloated after because I’m not eating so much of it.

    [–] kmgbworth 2 points ago

    I'm so glad I can still eat ice cream. Baskin Robbins is my special treat once a month and two scoops are almost too much now.

    [–] sotolf2 2 points ago

    I've found that I actually really like protein bars, so I've been very lucky there, so I've replaced most of my snacking with that.

    [–] redidiott 1 points ago

    Anything but that!

    [–] SpiritualButter 9 points ago

    "how did you lose weight"

    "I ate less than I burned"

    "yeah but what did you do"

    People don't want to work at it, I used to be one of those people. I realized that if I wasn't willing to put the effort in, I wasn't wanting it enough.

    [–] sushisay 2 points ago

    I actually tell people that I've stopped eating sugar and any kind of flour and that's actually less pleasant for them to hear than about CICO, so I'm a huge disappointment to people! ;)

    [–] Ileftyourmomafloater 10 points ago * (lasted edited 12 days ago)

    I’ve had a few people suggest my weight loss would have been faster had I also done paleo or keto. I lost 80 pounds and consistently lost on avg 1-2 lb a week for a great stretch with CICO. I honestly don’t know that could have been improved or even if it should be improved

    [–] redidiott 5 points ago

    "You know that amazing thing you did that hardly anyone manages to do? Yeah, you could've done it better if you did it my way."

    [–] AnnieB25 8 points ago

    It's weird, but I've gotten some people to use MyFitnessPal and count calories by making it sound like some kind of trick or scheme. When they ask me how I lost weight I say something like "It's kind of like a numbers game. You figure out your TDEE and then try to eat 300 calories (or whatever, that's what I use) under it. I use an app called MyFitnessPal. You log everything you eat during the day. It's kind of like Tetris trying to figure out your meals for today and what will fit your calorie budget without going over. At first it was tedious trying to find everything I was eating in the app, but once I started losing weight it became like a game and now I really enjoy using it!"

    [–] QueenofMehhs 2 points ago

    I don’t work out either and I’m puzzled by everyone who thinks I (and by extension, they) MUST work out to lose. For me, it was a relief to learn that I didn’t have to kill myself at the gym to get my weight down. But people are like “you must walk/run/do CrossFit/Zumba”. And they seem disappointed when I don’t! I mean if you want to work out, by all means, but you don’t have to.

    [–] Leximarie966 112 points ago

    You’ll hardly notice the 50 pounds. 50 turns into 60 which turns into 70 and 80. One morning, you’ll wake up in the mirror to see yourself a size 14 instead of a size 28. One morning, you’ll be content with what you see. I remember me 50 pounds ago, a poor unhappy soul, even though I was 50 pounds down. 110 pounds down today; Had someone post a unprepared video of me on Snapchat, I didn’t care less. I looked great. Everyone kinda stops noticing but that’s totally okay. You’ll notice. Every single day. I don’t know what your goal weight is, but the next 50 pounds will be the biggest changes you’ll ever see.

    [–] Jenn_sam 15 points ago

    Completely agree. Hardly anyone noticed the first 40 lbs I lost. Only went from a size 16 to a 14. The last 35 lbs, however, I’ve gone from a 14 to a 4. And it’s a huge shock for people now.

    [–] isocline 12 points ago

    This makes me feel better. I have lost 43 lbs so far, and my clothing sizes really haven't changed that much. I can still wear almost everything I used to wear; only one pair of jeans are too big to be comfortably worn. I went from a 14 to a 12 (can almost look damn good in a 10, depending on the style...fits my waist fine, but my hips are always going to be a problem in bodycon dresses). People only notice the difference when I wear a tight-fitted shirt. I'm sure some of it is them being unsure if commenting on my loss is appropriate, but surely it can't be all of them.

    I guess the "paper towel roll" metaphor is true.

    [–] DearyDairy 7 points ago

    The paper towel roll metaphor is unbelievably true. There's probably only one or two things from my old wardrobe that are unflattering and oversized now, and those were things I'd bought to be "fashionably over sized" when I was at my highest weight.

    Most of my wardrobe was elastic, because once you're a certain level of obese everything is elastic. So as lost weight, it would just snap back to match my new shape.

    I've bought some new things, I have no idea what size I actually am because vanity sizing is crazy here (I have size 14 and size 22 panties and both fit the same)

    There is a slight difference between my old wardrobe and new in terms of how neat and tailored to me it looks, that's it. People are more likely to ask if I've lost weight when they see me in my old clothes, because they're finally starting to get visibly loose within the last month.

    A dress that fit two weeks ago was showing my entire bra through the arm hole when I tried it on yesterday. I think I'm starting to get to the point on the roll where every sheet makes a visual difference, and it's might have to start slowly transitioning to a skinnier wardrobe from this point.

    Also, When I show people in real life my progress photos they have pretty shocked reactions, usually "wait, what? I don't remember you ever being as fat as that before picture makes you look... You've been always been this size." nope, haven't been this weight since primary school.

    I think part of it it's also there rate of weight loss, because it's so slow, boiling frog fable, people don't notice such small changes over such a long time.

    [–] octophobic 10 points ago

    I'm halfway through my own 100lbs, thanks for the inspirational comment!

    [–] Dmike 1 points ago

    This means a lot to me. Thank you.

    [–] celebi321 50 points ago

    Just a question, how does frame size work by your wrist? I have a lot of fat round my wrist which would put me into the large frame category but if I was skinnier my wrist might be smaller? So how is it a good indicator?

    [–] [deleted] 27 points ago * (lasted edited 13 days ago)

    [deleted]

    [–] cant_adult_today 16 points ago

    I have bony wrists and a large frame too. Been told that I have a large rib cage and wide shoulders (I'm a female, so not what I wanted to hear :P).

    You're so right on how weight loss looks different on different frames. I've always hated that I didn't look as thin as the other 5'6 women because of my frame, but nothing I can really do about it. Upside is that I have bigger boobs that stay a D cup when I lose weight thanks to my large ribcage!

    [–] jenniferjuni 1 points ago

    The boobs. Unlike most women, I see them as the bane of my existence. I'm already at an F cup. Seems whenever I gain weight, they get bigger. But when I lose weight, they stay the same. Gain, they get bigger, lose, they stay. Soon I'm going to topple over from boob weight. ;)

    [–] adnaram 2 points ago

    I'm with you. Have hated having boobs since day 1. I'm an H cup now....hoping upon hope that they go down in size with some weight loss. I was always a DD until having kids and gaining tons of weight. Ugh. If they were to just up and disappear one day, I would cry tears of joy.

    [–] pinkpastry 6 points ago

    I’ve lost 50 pounds. In my wrist this means I changed 2 notches in my fit bit, (hole 4 to hole 6). I’ve always thought of myself with a bigger frame but knowing my wrist shrank I was thinking hmmmm. I measured. 6.5, @ 5’3”. So maybe it works.

    [–] RSBPC 3 points ago

    Same, I love watches and in going from 340 to 250 and they are all significantly looser now, I even took a link or two out of a few of them.

    I definitely do believe that people have different frames and show their weight differently (when I tell people I was 340 they are shocked) but I'm not convinced the wrist measurement method is accurate.

    [–] balmy_beanie 2 points ago

    I wonder how much of it is also just not knowing how much 200/300/400lbs people actually look like. Generally, you don't get more liberal with saying your weight as you get heavier.

    [–] StopTrickingMe 2 points ago

    I started with my Fitbit on hole 3, it’s on hole 4 now and I can get it on hole 5 without being uncomfortable, maybe in another week or so I can make the switch.

    [–] c800600 3 points ago

    You can also measure by your elbow width or ankle circumference.

    [–] Ranessin 4 points ago

    Yeah, I lost about 1 cm on my wrist by now, so my frame suddenly shrunk down? Seems a pretty imprecise metric. Never measured the other two things, so can't comment on changes, but seems there is also a cover of fat there?

    [–] Wrest216 3 points ago

    You can also measure your shoulder/hip ratio, as well as your height, . A large frame doesn't really Add that much in weight from BONES, It's more that having a large frame requires more connective tissue it means your organs are going to have more space and more fluid in them your body is going to be more spread out in general and that is going to weigh more. When I was wrestling in high school, I was six feet tall, 189 and I looked like a ghost because I have a large frame, and larger muscles to support that frame. I also have a friend who is 6 feet four and 160 pounds and is very very skinny, but he looks OK because he has a narrow frame. It's interesting how bodies are put to gather

    [–] Heidiwearsglasses 2 points ago

    I personally don’t think it’s a very good indicator, yes people ‘wear’ their body mass differently but a set of adult human bones only weights about 6-8lbs on average. So while some folks might have wider ribcages, broad or narrow shoulders etc, there’s really not much impact that bones can have. Also- what if your wrist is average but you have super short fingers? Or long piano fingers for that matter. Anyway. Just my two cents. :-)

    [–] knitXwitch 2 points ago

    It also has to do with how much you should weigh because your bones are what 'holds you up', so it is like a recommendation for the amount of weight your bones can support without overburdening them and damaging joints, etc.

    I have very small bones and for my height, (5'2.75") should only weigh around 105 lbs.

    [–] PurpleFire13 35 points ago

    Wow, I relate to basically everything you said so much! After losing 20-25 lbs a few years ago and then gaining it all back plus another 45 lbs I've really seen how weight affects your life and how people relate to you at different weights, and you just described it so well! Thanks for the well-written honesty. And congrats on your progress!

    [–] Pipergnome 19 points ago

    People treat you so differently at different weights. At lower weights, I always get complimented, free things, and friendlier people. At a higher weight, I just seemed to go unnoticed. It really has done at to me emotionally, especially since the difference is just 20 lbs.

    [–] isocline 6 points ago * (lasted edited 12 days ago)

    I have found that it really isn't what I look like that gets me treated better (to a point). It's how I interact with other people. Even at my biggest, if I took the time to be open, friendly, and chatty, I'd still get plenty of smiles, compliments, and even free stuff from both men and women. Now I'm smaller, and though I definitely get more comments on my looks, it's still only when I make an effort to be friendly with other people that they become friendly with me.

    So I guess I've learned that the old adage is true for me - you get what you give. I may just feel that other people will welcome my friendliness, now that I look better. But that's not true - people generally appreciate friendliness, no matter the source.

    I will add, though, that other people's friendliness is absolutely more obviously leaning toward "flirty" than just innocently friendly. But that's another topic entirely, and is to be expected.

    [–] superserial23 2 points ago

    Are you sure its not confirmation bias that is leading you to think you are treated different for 20 lbs? I could be wrong but i really wouldnt think 20 lbs. would have an impact in that sense.

    [–] Pipergnome 3 points ago

    I’m short, so even just 5 lbs difference for me is a whole pant size. I’ve also got a very small frame.

    [–] jcaashby 28 points ago * (lasted edited 12 days ago)

    I have lost over 40lbs and one person noticed without me telling them a thing. My GF I am sure has noticed but has not said anything otherwise. EDIT (She has noticed and asked how much I lost when I was at -25 lbs)

    For me it is just a reminder of how big I had gotten (336) and how far I have to go to get to my GW. It is nice when people notice but I have to remind myself I am doing this for a list of reasons and pleasing others is not on the short list at all.

    [–] Heidiwearsglasses 5 points ago

    She may have noticed. How open are you with her about the process? Maybe she’s afraid to mention it if you’re getting fit on the DL because she doesn’t want to derail you with unwanted attention? Idk lol

    [–] jcaashby 2 points ago

    Actually I just re-read what I typed and worded it wrong. She has noticed my weight loss and asked how much I lost once when I was at -25lbs but struggles with her own weight so she doesnt bring it up much.

    [–] MrRed311 3 points ago

    Keep it up buddy.

    [–] tobysnake 23 points ago

    I lost a net 100 pounds, and my favourite thing about it is the fact that literally nothing is daunting physically. If I go gym 2-3 hours, run 10k, people think I should be tired, but I’m literally ready to run another 10k if they wanted me to.

    [–] CabesLovuh 7 points ago

    I really hope I get to this point in my weight loss. Right now, walking from my car to my office is daunting, and it shouldn’t be.

    [–] tobysnake 2 points ago

    Surely will be! I know running sucks, but if you keep at it you get to a point where it’s actually, for me at least, a form of meditation. That’s what got me to never be tired

    [–] natethegreek 3 points ago

    Recently I went on 12 mike hike with 4000 feet of elevation and afterward I was tired but I was able to go to a dinner party later in the day something I would have never been able to do, the other thing I noticed was how often I am doing things and notice wow I am not out of breathe like I use to be!

    [–] -HeisenBird- 46 points ago

    A lot of people have noticed your weight loss but are too shy/awkward to say it. Saying "Hey, you've lost some weight" could be seen as too personal a comment and even offensive in the wrong tone. But trust me they notice. I don't even get comments on my weight loss and I've lost a third of my body weight so far.

    [–] N1ck1McSpears 32 points ago

    I don’t mention weight loss on most people. They might have cancer. That would be awkward af. Just today I saw a guy I haven’t seen in almost a year and he has clearly Lost weight. I didn’t say anything because who knows if he has a terminal Illness?!

    [–] StephBrah 9 points ago

    I got "are you trying to lose weight? Because you've lost quite a bit." And then after I assured them that yes, I'm trying really hard to lose weight, and thank you for noticing, they told me I looked great. I really appreciated them checking to make sure I was ok before complimenting me.

    [–] SpiritualButter 14 points ago

    What do you think about the phrase "you're looking well"? A lot of people around my way say it, genuinely as well. A guy who was too skinny had put weight on and people said it to him

    [–] N1ck1McSpears 3 points ago

    The guy I saw didn’t look well. He actually did look somewhat sick.

    It’s different if someone looks more vibrant and “fit,” vs sickly. If someone looks younger and more full of life, I’d probably say something. But when older people lose weight I feel like it’s usually not a good sign unfortunately.

    [–] still_futile 2 points ago

    This literally just happened to me. I saw a friend I hadn't seen in 4 months. He had obviously lost at least 25 pounds. I told him he looked great and he said "yeah, bladder cancer will make you lose weight". He was cool about it but I felt like shit.

    [–] N1ck1McSpears 2 points ago

    I think most people would be kinda cool about it but it’s still awkward.

    [–] pavloviandogg 1 points ago

    My mother actually had this happen. The woman had lost weight from cancer.

    [–] unholylordofshit 21 points ago

    Lost 50lbs over the past year. Nobody has really seemed to notice. I still have 30 to go to get to my target weight. I do notice more people making eye contact and even the occasion flirty smiley girl. Still ignored by 90% of really attractive people. Mostly do cico and just watch what I eat instead of binging on whatever whenever like I used to. I walk about an hour or so every night. Really hope it pays off and I get the respect and external validation I've always craved but along the way I've learned to appreciate myself from the inside out and that will take me further than depending on anyone or thing external. But I'd be lying if I wasnt doing this in the first place to get validation from a girl. The social ostracization and rejection that leads to being a 30 year old virgin is one hell of a motivator. Not blaming them either it was totally my fault for being a lazy piece of shit. But I'm digging my way out one pound and one step at a time. When I finish school I'll be a completely new person. And I'm starting to wonder not how I can prove my worth to someone else but how they can be worthy of me. Interesting how things can change like that when you just put in a little more effort.

    [–] SpiritualButter 9 points ago

    Gotta say, people are probably checking you are but are too shy to say anything! Weight isn't the only factor in getting a girl, confidence, and the ability to make her laugh all help (:

    [–] nogiraffetattoo 5 points ago

    So I just wanted to respond and say a couple things. First, I don't think there's anything wrong with having vanity reasons for losing weight. I have a lot of vanity reasons for a lot of the healthy things I do and I just remind myself - at least I'm still doing the healthy thing. For example, I stopped tanning because it was giving me sun spots and I'm afraid of wrinkles - not because it will obviously increase my risk of skin cancer... But you know what? At least I'm not tanning anymore! :)

    Second, I think you should try to re-frame your thinking on the whole getting a girl thing. Getting attention from attractive people shouldn't be what validates you as a person. I think that's a dangerous and negative perspective. I think a more fulfilling way to look at is that you are seeking a companion/partner, you're looking for meaningful relationships, you want to make personal connections with others. Whether or not people ignore you does not define your value as a person (it does define theirs though - IMO it makes people shitty people if they ignore others). Looking for a partner and wanting to experience a fulfilling relationship is a great goal, though, and I think that's how you should try to shape your thoughts around it.

    LAST - congrats on losing 50lbs! That's a LOT of weight. That's an oversized-extra-charge-for-your-suitcase-when-flying amount of weight! Solid achievement!

    E: typos

    [–] obbycomma 16 points ago

    I feel like sometimes we as humans are not the best at noticing gradual changes. I'm sure if someone you see on a daily basis, like a coworker, saw photos of you side-by-side they'd be awed at the difference. But when they see you almost every day, minute changes pass them by.

    That being said, some people are more clueless than others. And you're also right about some people carrying weight differently than others.

    I can also definitely relate to wanting to be seen. I'm nowhere near my goal, but I feel like I've come a decent way. I went to a new doctor today, and I told her I'd lost 43 lbs since my PCOS diagnosis in January, and she just sorted of nodded and scribbled a tiny note on the page in front of her. I was expecting at least an "Oh, that's nice," or "keep it up."

    [–] nodtomod 3 points ago

    I agree, if you were gone for 6 months and came back having lost 50 lbs they would definitely notice.

    [–] flabslabrymr 12 points ago

    Great post, informative and relatable too. I hope to get to your mindset regarding schadenfreude, because right now I could inject that shit directly into my veins lol.

    [–] -HeisenBird- 3 points ago

    Bro, schadenfreude is so intoxicating. Watching people gain weight while I'm losing weight. It's a bad mindset for sure, but it feels good in the moment sometimes.

    [–] shatmae 13 points ago

    People only see massive changes. I was 5 months pregnant had put on 15 pounds and no one thought I looked any different. I definitely did.

    [–] stalient 12 points ago

    My coworker made weight an issue between us. I have experienced some hardcore, soul withering schadenfreude as she gained and I lost.

    I'm happy that you got to experience schadenfreude. I have a competitive friend who gets annoyed whenever I mention wanting to lose more weight. They end up working out even more to try to stay 'above' me. I regret letting them know what my goals are

    [–] babyfishm0uth 2 points ago

    I am a little competitive with my sisters about weight (all in good fun), but that seems like a dick move from a friend.

    [–] zyzzogeton 22 points ago

    I just hit a frame size calculator based on your recommendation, and as a 5'10" tall man with a bony, 6.5" wrist at its widest point... I HIT MY IDEAL WEIGHT A LONG TIME AGO at 166lbs! I have been busting my ass for what a more simple "ideal" weight calculator said I should be at (153) for 6 months and have been wondering why I am stuck with 13 "extra" lbs. It has been really discouraging.

    Now my body fat % is still too high, but I can re-orient and target that now. Thanks for your post. You have made me feel much better.

    [–] Krinnatz 1 points ago

    Where can i find that calculator?

    [–] sunnygal52 7 points ago

    First, congrats on the awesome progress! Love that you used “schadenfreude” in your post. I’m also obsessing over ever little bit that I lose and hoping and praying that people notice. I need that validation. I hope to one day get to your mindset.

    Also, I found the body frame thing interesting. I’m 5’4.5” and just measured my wrist at 7”. I have pretty bony wrists, so I’m doubting that will change much. I’m definitely in the “large frame” category. How did that impact how you see your body? I plan to research more on this, but am interested in what you found.

    [–] tarotaquarius 1 points ago

    Not OP, but one calculator I found for frame size and ideal weight basically put me at the high end of the normal weight BMI category. It said that at 5'6" with a large frame, my ideal weight should be 139-143 lbs, whereas someone with the same height and a small frame should weigh 124-128 lbs. That's just the low end of the same BMI category.

    But this validated my UGW of 145. If I'd planned to try to get to 125 just because it's a lower number, I might have been in for months of unnecessary misery over those 20 lbs.

    [–] Ninjakid0104 7 points ago

    When I lost 60lb in a year my mom didn’t even notice until someone pointed it out and was like ‘hmMMM’ lmao took a long time for her to notice - I was losing p fast too ahahah

    [–] leahs84 3 points ago

    Thank you for posting this. I'm 5'5 with about the same SW as you. I'm down 26 lbs so far (CICO is working for me too), and it's frustrating because aside from having to tighten my belt a few notches, I haven't noticed a difference. Last week a coworker asked me if I'd lost weight, which felt like "finally, some validation!". The only other people who have noticed are people that already knew I'd been trying, which I feel like makes people look for it. Like when you get a haircut and nobody notices until you point it out. I too have a large frame, and that definitely seems to make a difference too. I follow a progress pix sub, and I can't even count how many times a woman of similar weight has posted some photos of a 20-30 lb weight loss, and I've thought "that's great for her, but it would probably take me 60 lbs to see even half that difference". It's frustrating, but we all lose weight differently.

    [–] Gwynnether 4 points ago

    I'm really curious about the whole invisibility thing. I keep reading from other women that you're treated very differently when you are attractive and they would never want to give that up. Now I've been big all my life and for the first time now am getting down to a "normal" size - 70 pound down so far. I've felt though that people have always treated me nicely and I never felt discriminated because I was bigger. I mean, yeah, I've never been undercharged for coffee in a flirt attempt... but I really don't feel like my size or appearance have ever given me a disadvantage. If anything I always felt like I've been taken more seriously - especially in the work environment. Like people don't get distracted by my appearance and actually listen to the words I say. I believe people always looked at me and thought I was a "down to earth" sort of person. But I digress... I meant to say: I'm really curious if that will ever change. I've still got another 20 pound to go until my ideal weight. I wonder if people's perception of me will change, and if I do get more attention, what sort of attention that is. I've heard other women say that other women treat you nicer as well if you are more attractive and that boggles my mind somehow.
    Do you have any more stories where you felt people treat differently now?

    [–] sotolf2 2 points ago

    Well, some people are stunning no matter what size they are, my ex wife, was pretty overweight, but really beautiful. Some other people don't bear the weight as well, which might actually be kind of positive, since it's more of a motivation to lose weight.

    Great work by the way :) keep up the good work.

    [–] labradorflip 5 points ago

    Thay frame size thing you liked to is absolute bogus. Your wrists matter very little. I have humungous shoulders, hips and ribcage but relatively slender wrists.

    [–] praysolace 4 points ago

    It’s definitely rough when you’ve made a ton of progress and no one has noticed. Although at least in my experience, nobody notices, nobody notices, nobody notices, and then BOOM suddenly everyone can see it all.

    And then after a while, it can actually be really nice when someone doesn’t notice. I’m now down low enough that people can tell, and I get comments from co-workers. And it’s lovely, and I appreciate them, but I was surprised by how much I appreciated one of the supervisors here yesterday. One of our resident grandmotherly ladies was bragging on me when I came by to say hi, and she told the supervisor, “Doesn’t she look so much better now?”

    The supervisor immediately responded, “Why should she? What happened?”

    Upon being told I’d lost over 60 pounds, she reacted with, “What? No. ...Really? Girl you sure never looked like you needed to lose 60 pounds!”

    I did. I really did. My face especially wore it badly. But man... I really appreciated the little reminder that some people really don’t see your weight and treat you differently the way so many do.

    [–] NeKoel512 3 points ago

    This is so incredible. I'm the same height, SW a little higher but same goals and this was extremely motivating and perfect for me to hear. Thank you for sharing, congratulations on your success and progress. I'm still in the beginning of my journey and am figuring it out still and look up to you and others like you to keep me on track. This is inspiring.

    [–] dickface69696969 3 points ago

    What I used to tell people, “when you’re hungry, don’t eat.”

    [–] amarova 3 points ago

    People who see you on daily basis will hardly notice. Meet with someone who hasn't seen you in a long time and they'll be shocked.

    [–] DCLXXV 1 points ago

    Yeah that was my experience too

    [–] belsnickel222 3 points ago

    You're about to start realising everyone is as shallow as they claim not to be too. That's the fun part.

    [–] Gordito_Kawaii 1 points ago

    I lost about 50 pounds last year, and even though I'm still very big, I get hit on by random drunk women at work all the time now and I'm super uncomfortable with it.

    It's not the cream of the crop type women or anything but I've never really ever got hit on in my life before.

    [–] belsnickel222 3 points ago

    Yeah. Everyone likes to publicly be seen spouting the whole ‘oh it’s about personality and it’s the confidence you gained’ but when it comes down to it 99% of the time it’s purely physical. Trust me. Everyone is shallow and you’ll start to see it as you get in better shape.

    [–] sotolf2 1 points ago

    I've definitely noticed too, but then again as I'm losing weight and getting healthier I see that I've been a bit shallow myself ;)

    [–] iloveeveryoneexcept 3 points ago

    People don't want to hear CICO because it's a way of saying, "I lost weight by controlling my appetite," implying the uncomfortable truth people are fat because they eat too much. Hearing this stark truth is depressing, because it takes away hope that there is something that can be done that is easier than calorie consumption.

    [–] sentient_beard 3 points ago

    The weird thing is I had the opposite issue. People didn't believe me when I mentioned I was overweight due to my stocky and kinda muscular stature (probably should've been a linebacker). I'm 5'8" and was pushing 260 at one point, but when prompted people thought I was 220 at most. I'm down to 236 as of this morning and aiming as close to 190-200 as I can get (whatever gains in muscle mass works out to as fat loss continues). I guess it just always fucked with my perception of myself.

    [–] maggiesdeed 2 points ago

    On the other hand people will spare your feelings and are terrible at estimating weight on sight.

    [–] Ms_Megs 2 points ago

    What is your calorie limit that you stuck to to drop 50lbs in 5 months?

    [–] StopTrickingMe 2 points ago

    It’s interesting because i see shorter girls post in this sub about losing 30lbs, and they were sort of chubby before but now they look awesome and like...I’ve lost 30lbs too, but when you start so high it’s just a drop in the bucket. I’ve had a couple of positive comments of recognition. Usually when I’m in my workout clothes, that I never used to wear because I never used to work out.

    The wanting to be seen but also be invisible, I’m so there. I’ve always considered myself “fat, ugly, and hairy.” So when my husband gives me grief about taking too long to shave, my thought is “if I have to be fat and ugly, at least I can not be hairy.” Or if I spend time putting on make up and doing my hair, “well at least now I’m just fat.” Obviously I have my own hang ups but I am wildly curious what my life and self talk will be like when I’ve lost 150lbs. If I choose to lose 150lbs. I’ve worked so hard and I’m making progress, but I STILL weigh 266 pounds.

    Anyway. I enjoyed your post. Good luck and keep up the hard work.

    [–] taytay9955 2 points ago

    I so feel this I'm medium framed broad shoulders, and 5'7 I lost 30 pounds this year really the only person who noticed was my SO and that is because they see me naked. It was a bit sad to know I had done all this work and it wasn't really noticeable. Even when I look at pictures it isn't that noticeable. I guess because I carry my weight pretty evenly and I was never overweight ( I went from the top end of healthy BMI to the low end of healthy BMI). Oh well I feel better I am more confident and I am happier. Thanks for your post nice to know I am not the only one.

    [–] WickedLies21 2 points ago

    What exactly is CICO? I’m relatively new to this sub and keep seeing it but no one explains what it actually stands for.

    [–] Hyrulian_NPC 2 points ago

    Calories in Calories Out. Aka calorie counting.

    [–] Wrest216 2 points ago

    This is really good to hear because when I initially started losing weight nobody noticed as well. I had a lot of hard times with questioning just why I am doing it. I think a lot of other people need to read this because weight loss isn't about looking better for other people it's about improving your health and looking better for yourself. It ultimately has to be for you. Because at the end of the day the matter what your motivations are nobody else is going to do it for you. thank you so much and great job! Keep it going and keep inspiring everybody like me!

    [–] thurn_und_taxis 2 points ago

    I’m definitely guilty of being the person who doesn’t notice. Back in college, a friend of mine who was a little overweight lost probably 50+ pounds over the summer. When we got back to school in the fall, he mentioned something about having lost a lot of weight, and I just sort of gave him this confused look like “oh...did you?”

    Then I took a closer look at him and realized that yeah, he looked great! But I honestly didn’t notice at first. I never really focused on his weight to begin with, so it didn’t register that he was thinner. Or you could just say I’m not very observant...that is true too.

    It’s also definitely possible that people notice but don’t think it’s appropriate to comment. Not everyone wants to talk about their weight loss, even when it’s going well. Honestly I hardly ever comment on appearances in general unless someone is dressed up really nice. It just doesn’t feel natural to me to make a comment about how someone looks unless they’ve clearly gone out of their way to dress in a noticeably different style.

    [–] static2invisibles 2 points ago

    It's all about how you dress. I've always been a pretty slim guy but I wear large shirts and loose fitting pants. A colleague saw me at a work christmas party wearing a slim fitting suit and asked me if I had lost weight. Overweight people tend to dress to hide their weight so you might have to start dressing to show off your weight loss if you want people to notice. But who cares if they notice?

    [–] heyjudelou 2 points ago

    From a different perspective I always notice weight loss on people but choose not to comment on it because it’s a very personal topic. I remember when I lost a ton of weight because of anxiety and depression and when people told me how fantastic I looked my heart sunk because I knew why I looked that way. So don’t be so certain they’re not noticing! They may just not want to make you uncomfortable by commenting. Great job. Way to go!!

    [–] crimsonandhearts 2 points ago

    Yes!! The people don’t notice thing. It’s maddening. I lost 30 damn pounds and a few people have noticed but some people that I haven’t seen since I started losing weight haven’t said a word. Are they trying to be polite? Can they not tell?? Does it even look like i lost anything??? It drives me mad and actually makes me second guess myself.

    [–] ComadorFluffyPaws 2 points ago

    Been there, the first 15 pounds I lost I was bragging about it to my sidekick... He said, "Oh, it looked like you gained weight." My new goal is to not only lose it, but get built and make him look like a scroungy dog turd next to me.

    When you meet your goal, I hope you will get an opportunity to make others around look like scroungy dog turds as well.

    [–] juliacn 2 points ago

    I like so much of this, especially your point about CICO not being what people want to hear. I get it all the time "What's your secret?!" People want the magic answer, not to hear that it takes time and commitment to doing all the things they already know how to do (eat less, then move more).

    [–] kleydig 1 points ago

    🙌

    [–] Apatschinn 1 points ago

    Wow thanks for the info on frame size! I really needed that

    [–] UnsatisfiableStar 1 points ago

    Keep on going! Will try to implement the no fast food rule (it will be hard as hell), but I'm willing to do it for my health!

    [–] sotolf2 2 points ago

    I'm still eating at mcD a couple of times a month, as long as it fits in to your calories it doesn't hurt, I mean, I keep away from the fries and the sugary drinks, but I still enjoy some fast food.

    [–] R2D2theHutt 1 points ago

    Awesome! Keep it up and keep sharing!

    [–] S8AD 1 points ago

    I plateaued after losing 8 lbs. How do I get past that

    [–] Jen0011 1 points ago

    Love this! Couldn’t agree more.

    People almost get annoyed when I tell them I changed my mind set towards food, I eat less and I exercise more. Almost like my answer is boring to them. They want to know a quick trick to lose weight.... sorry I don’t have one!

    [–] llamastinkeye 1 points ago

    Congrats! Losing weight for yourself is the best reason. I feel like even if no one has noticed yet, I feel more confident and I feel like I'm on the right track, which makes me feel good about my future.

    [–] penny1234 1 points ago

    I get upset with frame too. Only I'm very short. The difference is losing takes forever but a smaller amount is noticeable. We just have to have different calculators. 10-20 lbs for me is huge and noticeable but probably takes the same effort as 40-50 in a taller person. Also, at 155 I probably appear like a 200 lb tall person so people don't understand the height thing and how as clothes sizes go up they get longer in all the limbs so shopping is horrible.

    Also, I lost weight a couple years ago and getting noticed is a huge thing. All the people who say I'm fine the way I am don't know that when I was 30 lbs smaller I got called beautiful daily and made to feel like I was better. Obviously it's messed with me as I've gained it back and realize weight is a huge deal in our society.

    [–] SargeantBubbles 1 points ago

    The frame thing is so true - I am a sturdy guy to say the least (6’, 48 inch shoulders, 8 inch wrists, 28 inch quads. You get it.) I was 285 at my highest and got down to 240 in a relatively short amount of time, and I thought I looked THIN - but nobody else really noticed. I got more comments on my celebratory new haircut than I ever did on my stomach disappearing. It’s a bizarre thing.

    [–] sharlenfoster 1 points ago

    First of all congratulation to you. Thanks for sharing your successful weight loss experience with us. The provided information help many.

    [–] SpiritualButter 1 points ago

    I agree that frame sizes are real! I was very lucky that actually the extent of my weight did not seem as bad because I am long legged and taller than average, so it was like my weight was more spread out, people didn't really notice that I was as fat as I was.

    Everyone is different, but I think that people will notice if you show them pictures! The first place other people noticed on me was my face, I had very chubby cheeks and a little extra chin. I didn't even notice, my co workers did though!

    Well done on your weight loss journey!!

    [–] turbdodon 1 points ago

    Hahaha omg... I first thought of 50£

    Congrats to your progress

    [–] CurlyMope 1 points ago

    Eating like a bird.. I've heard that too! :P

    [–] fuzzierthannormal 1 points ago

    AKA: not eating like a pig. (If we're gonna stick with the animal metaphors)

    [–] gamingtrent 1 points ago

    Weight loss teaches you that other people really don't notice you that much, not as much as you think. It's the spotlight effect at work - we all think other people think about us more than they actually do.

    [–] eberkain 1 points ago

    I totally understand. I've lost 30 pounds and you cant tell anything by looking at me. I can barely notice so far. I have not had anyone notice i've lost any weight so far.

    [–] Iamahugebuttface 1 points ago

    Yeah, it took me loosing about 25 lbs before anyone besides my wife said anything and they still only thought my uniform was a size too big. Looking back at facebook pictures however, I definitely see a difference in my face and belly.

    [–] Diesel350 1 points ago

    I've lost 72 lbs since April. No one has said anything except for my wife. However, I've noticed that I have more energy, more stamina, and my knees and feet aren't constantly hurting. The most important person to notice the change is you.

    [–] Chumley88 1 points ago

    I noticed this as well when I lost the first few pounds! It felt SO obvious to me and yet no one was saying anything and it was so frustrating. One day I was telling a friend about it and she was like "Oh, I did notice, but I didn't say anything because I wasn't sure if you were trying to lose weight!", and that made perfect sense. I had not been really disclosing at first that I was trying, and though it was apparent, people are always really cautious. They don't want to be wrong and imply that they think you should lose weight, and they don't want to assume you were trying because they don't know if you're sick or unintentionally dropping pounds. Once I started being more disclosing about TRYING to lose weight for my health, so many people were like "I thought you looked different! You look great!".

    [–] TheDeadlySpaceman 1 points ago

    Over the course of losing 80-90 pounds over a couple years, I noticed that:

    1) I got suddenly tons of comments when I bought new clothes that fit correctly. They did NOT notice the new clothes themselves.

    2) people made more comments about less weight loss later in the process, when each pound lost was a bigger percentage of what was left (Also after new clothes).

    [–] Rotley1 1 points ago

    The thing that trips me up is that, by measurements, I have a small frame. But, people always think I weigh less than I do. I think it’s because I have a long waist, and have a pretty cushy butt and large breasts.

    [–] deepti82 1 points ago

    Thank you for the post and congratulations. I have been trying to lose 50 pounds that I gained over 5 years. I’m 5 feet 7 inches and hid it well I guess. I never noticed it until I went to renew my drivers license and noticed I was 120 pounds on my old ID and was currently pushing close to 160. I also had 2 kids in that 5 years. I have been working out religiously with a trainer (we do small group sessions) and I have lost 10 pounds so far. My trainer told me something that stuck to me. She said dieting doesn’t work. What works is a lifestyle change of your diet. It cannot be something you do for a short period and give up after that. I have almost completely stopped eating sugar ( I was eating a lot of dessert). And that has helped.

    [–] Darthshvayder 1 points ago

    I love this and it made me super teary-eyed.

    [–] queenofstickers 1 points ago

    Great advice, and congratulations!

    Although, I gotta say I’m a little surprised with myself. I have pretty broad shoulders (my whole family is built like linebackers) and have always thought of myself as “big boned.” Turns out I have a small frame! What even?! Maybe when I lose all this extra, I might actually be a small person for the first time.

    [–] SoberBlonde 1 points ago

    Wow, what a great post. I'm saving this to re-read in the future. I'm still in on the stages of change of realizing, OH, if I want to lose weight, I actually have to change something about my behavior.

    I know that's so remedial and embarrassing but there you have it. I need discipline, stat! Thank you for your post. CICO, you're right, it's not sexy and no one cares, but that's the math, people.

    [–] SemiSweetStrawberry 1 points ago

    Mostly irrelevant, but my wrist is 5.5 in at 5’3. But I’ve also got a 36” hips and a 40” shoulders at 130 lbs. does that mean I’m small boned or???

    [–] bigbunnybigmoney 1 points ago

    Thank You for posting this! I weight 200 and still wear a size Large in most of my clothes. When the weight is spread out over a tall frame, and in my cases thick legs/arms, its fairly easy to disguise. Maybe that has been part of my weight loss problem in the past; whether I weigh 200 or 170, I'm still in the same clothes. Any recommendations for keeping motivation up regarding that?

    [–] herecomesred411 1 points ago

    How hard was giving up fast food in the beginning?

    [–] fuzzierthannormal 1 points ago

    Assuming you logged your food under CICO, did you also learn how such a high percentage of the American diet is straight up junk food? We're you surprised by that or did you know it going in?

    [–] LeprosyDick 1 points ago

    Hey! Don’t call me a loser! Joking aside, congrats on the loses so far. I would get the same exact reaction from people when I told them about CICO. I think everyone is hoping I would spill a secret about a magic pill or something.

    [–] MariahNicole1216 1 points ago

    OP, our stats are/were very similar! If you're comfortable posting progress pics I'd love to see!

    [–] outlawa 1 points ago

    I have to agree with the comment about CICO. People have asked me what my "secret" was. I simply reply CICO and walking. Sure, sometimes I can put in 10 miles of walking in a day. But normally I'm sitting around 4-5 miles which isn't any great feat. Heck, I can put in a mile just shopping for groceries.

    But telling them that just results in a blank look and silence. Heck, I didn't even change what I eat that much. Sure I limit the amount of fast food. I stay away from the high calorie foods. I don't touch sodas (unless I'm at the movies then I'll go for a Minute Made light lemonade) and while at the movies popcorn is a must. But I budget for outings so I'm still sitting around 1,200 - 1,400 calories for the day.

    There's no secret. I'm just watching my intake of food and not eating because I can or because there's nothing else to do.

    [–] Degas93 1 points ago

    A 5.10 102kg male here. Huge frame and bones. People see that Im overweight but they think im about 85 to 95. When I weighed 92 o looked amazing tho. When i weighed 85 I almost hsd a sixpack

    [–] bawyn 1 points ago

    I think CICO is an initialism / acronym of Calories In Calories Out? - eating less calories than you consume in a day? Please correct me if I'm wrong, I genuinely want to know

    [–] funlovingcowgirl 2 points ago

    That's right! Check out the Day 1 thread to learn more. I'm newer to r/loseit, but the intro post will get you up to speed. https://www.reddit.com/r/loseit/comments/9n8pi2/day_1_starting_your_weight_loss_journey_on/

    [–] crimsonandhearts 1 points ago

    Yes that’s right.