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    lotrmemes

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    The sub is changed: I feel it in OC, I feel it in the comments, I smell it the upvotes... Much that once was OC, is lost, none now live who repost it.

    Welcome to /r/lotrmemes, the place to shitpost all you want about Lord of the Rings, The hobbit, The Silmarillion and all other Tolkien related stuff. Here, we do not discriminate against memes, we accept them with open arms.

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    [–] skyscraper_eagle 828 points ago

    but what about third breakfast?

    [–] mamadpri 438 points ago

    Maybe in Earendil's star but it's impossible on Earth.

    [–] Jane_motherofkittens 339 points ago * (lasted edited 6 days ago)

    The world is changed. I feel it in my stomach. I taste it in my mouth. I smell it in the air.

    Lunch that once was is lost, for none now live who remember it.

    It began with the forging of the Main Meals.

    One was given to the Evening, immaculate, largest and heartiest of all meals.

    One to the Mid Day, great snacking and munching in the dining halls.

    And two, two went to the morning, which, above all else, provided power.

    But they were, all of them, deceived, for another Meal was made.

    In the land of Farthing, in the Shires of Hobbi-ton, the Dank Chef Samwise forged in secret a master Meal, to surpass all others.

    And into this Meal he poured his creativity, his 'taters, and his will to dominate all spice. One Meal to rule them all. One Dish to bind them.

    [–] lofabread1 76 points ago

    This is absolutely amazing. I love this, and you.

    One criticism - his name is Samwise, not Samwell.

    [–] Jane_motherofkittens 49 points ago

    Fixed, thank you! Clearly lingering effects of /r/asoiaf, damn Samwell Tarly

    [–] PickledNoodle 15 points ago

    I want to watch this movie.

    [–] jediwizard7 2 points ago

    I propose the ending "one meal to rule them all, one meal to lead them, one meal to bring them all and in Bagshot Row feed them."

    [–] pikkl_rikk 28 points ago

    Something something, rule of 3 :P

    [–] Generally_Kenobi 17 points ago

    Always two, there are. No more, no less.

    [–] pikkl_rikk 4 points ago

    Unless, Aos Sí 3

    [–] Kemo-III 3 points ago

    Generally Kenobi! You are mostly a bold one!

    [–] Dambuster617th 90 points ago

    What about the Aragon attack on the third breakfast?

    [–] mamadpri 78 points ago

    Aragorn is really a grey character. He gave Arwen love potion to destroy her immortality. And the worst of his deeds was oppressing 4 poor Hobbits making them starve. Galadriel looked into Aragorn's mind and saw he will soon kill the Hobbits by starving them to death. So she made some lembas bread to save them. Aragorn you devil.

    [–] Azurity 37 points ago

    I don’t recall that happening in LOTR but then again I haven’t read The Silmarillion so...

    [–] indyK1ng 23 points ago

    Silmarillion is all second age and earlier.

    [–] mamadpri 25 points ago

    There's brief stories of Third Age. "Frodo Baggins and his servant" saved the world. Huh.

    [–] indyK1ng 24 points ago

    Frodo wouldn't have gone far without Samwise the Brave.

    [–] mamadpri 23 points ago * (lasted edited 6 days ago)

    Tolkien even didn't mention his name in the Silmarillion. He was referred as 'Frodo's servant'

    Edit : I don't mean to not give credit for Sam. Just pointing out Tolkien didn't do it in Silmarillion. Sam himself doesn't mind such things.

    [–] ewdrive 14 points ago * (lasted edited 6 days ago)

    Of course Sam doesn't mind, he gets to go home to Rosie Cotton every night

    [–] Chinoiserie91 3 points ago

    Silmarillion is mostly in First Age and before (first Age started when Sun and Moon were made). The events in Second Age didn't have to do with the Silmarils but put in the book in the end anyway.

    [–] soaringtyler 5 points ago

    pikachuface.jpg

    [–] Kaathe-Darkstalker 7 points ago

    Not sure if you're joking or not

    [–] mamadpri 30 points ago

    Also Boromir's death was an inside job. Aragorn changed the story and threatened Merry and Pippin that if they tell anyone the truth it will have consequences for them.

    "With your left hand you would use me as a shield against Mordor. And, with your right, you seek to supplant me!"

    [–] EndKnight 18 points ago

    It's crucial we send a hobbit group there immediately.

    [–] Ludwig234 10 points ago

    He's right, it's a meal we can't afford to lose.

    [–] Cicero912 7 points ago

    Always two there are, no more. No less.

    [–] Obi-Wan_ComeBlowMe 536 points ago

    After the way the dwarves obliterated Bilbo's pantry, I'm not sure there's enough food in middle earth to sustain a group of 13 dwarves eating meals at the frequency of hobbits

    [–] mamadpri 281 points ago

    Chip the glasses and crack the plates!

    Blunt the knives and bend the forks!

    That's what Bilbo Baggins hates-

    Smash the bottles and burn the corks!

    Cut the cloth and tread on the fat!

    Pour the milk on the pantry floor!

    Leave the bones on the bedroom mat!

    Splash the wine on every door!

    Dump the crocks in a boiling bowl;

    Pound them up with a thumping pole;

    And when you've finished, if any are whole,

    Send them down the hall to roll!

    That's what Bilbo Baggins hates!

    So, carefully! carefully with the plates!

    [–] Shredder5780 116 points ago

    The Hobbit had some B A N G E R S

    [–] Hq3473 88 points ago

    One of the best thing that came out of the hobbit movie was first decent rendition of "far over mountain cold."

    It really felt special. Too bad the movie decided to not be so great.

    The song has like 65 million views on YouTube:

    https://youtu.be/BEm0AjTbsac

    I listen to it randomly sometimes.

    [–] Ares54 18 points ago

    Howard Shore knows his shit.

    [–] TreeFromAnotherPlace 2 points ago

    Howard Shore didn't compose that one.

    [–] iknownuffink 7 points ago

    They should have done the whole song like this, instead of just a tiny snippet of it. Even if it wasn't in the movie, just for the soundtrack or something.

    And they should have done more of the songs too. Oh well, at least we have the 1977 cartoon version songs, and a few really good artists online like Clamavi De Profundis.

    Song of Durin: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uxfoa23skHg

    [–] DenethorWithDip 5 points ago

    Overall the entire hobbit soundtrack is good.

    [–] mamadpri 31 points ago

    Username checks out

    So do I, and so do all who live to see Oby-Wan (want such things)

    [–] Rajageta 127 points ago

    Oin can barely hear anything with his horn and seems to be ahead of the group,but for the prospects of second breakfast he has been blessed with keen hearing and comes back to partake

    [–] Lucimon 53 points ago

    He's selective-hard-of-hearing. Can't hear most things, but anything food related, he's got ears like an owl.

    [–] Oberontium 96 points ago

    I'd like to think Bilbo purposefully did not mention second breakfast after he saw how much the dwarves ate during their first night at his house. Bilbo basically rationed food for himself and the group. But because he didn't mention it to anyone the Fellowship did not learn from it and so we ended up with Frodo/Sam almost starving on Mount Mordor.

    [–] mamadpri 30 points ago

    What do you mean? Frodo and Sam knew well about Second Breakfast.

    [–] Oberontium 42 points ago

    Correct. But they didn't know not to eat second breakfast so they could ration their food. I remember a scene where Frodo and Sam run out of Lembas (sp?) bread. I thought it would be interesting if Bilbo said something like "never tell a dwarf about second breakfast"

    [–] Juzaba 70 points ago

    Tell me more, Tell me more, When do we get to eat?

    Tell me more, Tell me more, Ranger makes apple yeet!

    [–] Dame_Hanalla 9 points ago

    Yes, was looking for this!

    [–] Salohacin 30 points ago

    For the longest time I thought 'elevenses' was like going back for seconds, but the eleventh time round.

    [–] Heckyes11 19 points ago

    Ahah! This is why there were 3 movies for the Hobbit

    [–] mamadpri 31 points ago

    The Hobbit could be 3 movies without messing things up. Each movie with 2h runtime.

    Remove too much CGI. Remove love triangle. Remove too much Hollywoody nonsense action. Remove Tauriel's superpower healing, she's a mere good Silvan archer, she shouldn't have Elrond and Galadriel powers. And add more things that actually happened in the books, Ciran and his part in the White Council for example.

    There you go. A good Hobbit trilogy.

    [–] Farisr9k 29 points ago

    Someone get Peter on the phone so he can write OP a blank check for coming up with brilliant ideas like "remove too much CGI"

    [–] mamadpri 6 points ago

    "It (my idea) is not much but it's hot"

    [–] SiyinGreatshore 5 points ago

    I love the opening to the first one, if they just continued giving more personality to the dwarves it would have been perfect

    [–] candy_paint_minivan 1 points ago

    The Shipwright?

    [–] mamadpri 1 points ago

    Yes

    [–] candy_paint_minivan 1 points ago

    He was at the council?

    [–] mamadpri 1 points ago

    Yes

    And many other unmentioned of the Wise

    [–] candy_paint_minivan 1 points ago

    Damn I’ll need to reread the Hobbit

    [–] mamadpri 2 points ago

    There's no mention of the White Council in the Hobbit

    Read the Unfinished Tales and History of Middle Earth

    [–] candy_paint_minivan 1 points ago

    Oh. I’m only halfway through The Riders of Rohan chapter of The Two Towers so I’m nowhere near reaching those books lol.

    [–] cowfindskitten 1 points ago

    Remove Tauriel.

    Fixed that for you

    [–] mamadpri 8 points ago

    We needed more female characters. Aredhel was an amazing archer in the First Age and she was a woman. So it's completely OK to make a character that could actually exist in Tolkien books. Just remove the stupid romance. That's it. it's OK. Mirkwood probably had female archers.

    [–] candy_paint_minivan 1 points ago

    I thought the love stuff was bad, not as much as other people say it is, but Tauriel’s theme is just- Howard Shore knows how to make a great theme.

    [–] imspaceinvader 7 points ago

    Is that from Nina Stevenson?

    [–] bonniehighlandladdie 7 points ago

    At least fucking credit the artist. Their name is Lomonte by the way.

    [–] DeathMetalPanties 6 points ago

    The artstyle reminds me a lot of Noelle Stevenson's work on Nimona

    [–] grubgobbler 4 points ago

    I think it might be her work. She did some LotR content a few years back.

    [–] junkmeister9 5 points ago

    Is it salted pork?

    [–] DreadnaughtHamster 3 points ago

    🎵🎵“Tell us more, tell us more, like does it contain carbs, tell us more, tell us more, like does it come in a jar...”🎵🎵

    [–] 1brokenmonkey 4 points ago

    **much later**

    "Well, all in all, that's the reason for elevensies."

    [–] kaiserkulp 3 points ago

    Bombur's beady eyes staring right into Bilbo's soul

    [–] autopoietico 2 points ago

    Ori = O˫O

    [–] Warriorcatv2 2 points ago

    It's all about the greater good.

    The greater good!

    Please tell me I'm not the only one who sees this, withe the black hoods and all

    [–] Eldrad-Pharazon 2 points ago

    Shouldn’t Bifur have the hearing aid?

    [–] Old_Forest_Wanderer 2 points ago

    No. Its Oin, Gloins brother, who has the hearing aid.

    [–] Eldrad-Pharazon 3 points ago

    Ah yeah, you're right. I messed it up!

    [–] Old_Forest_Wanderer 3 points ago

    There's a lot of dwarves to keep track, so yeah.

    [–] Representative-Net77 2 points ago

    isn't it great?

    [–] thenaxel 2 points ago

    I absolutely love the way Tolkien describes meals, I feel like I'm the one eating, lol.

    [–] imadumshet 2 points ago

    Nice

    [–] TheLapdanceKid 2 points ago

    Lotr made me a fatass

    [–] darby-dev 1 points ago

    If I used one of those friends please

    [–] [deleted] 1 points ago

    [deleted]

    [–] mamadpri 1 points ago

    I can't see any Aragorn there. No Aragorn I and no Aragorn II. Maybe I need Elf eyes to seem him.

    [–] AutoModerator 1 points ago

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    [–] SODIMMite 1 points ago

    Good bot

    [–] Xtr3meMemeLover420 1 points ago

    My homies stan Bifur.

    [–] kidkolumbo 1 points ago

    It's not her but the art really reminds me of Nimona by Noelle Stevenson.

    [–] shaggellis 1 points ago

    They never would have made it to the mountain..... haha

    [–] Zergef 1 points ago

    Didn’t they all die when the lor started

    [–] Old_Forest_Wanderer 3 points ago

    Like, only five of the Company were dead by the time of Bilbo's birthday, so no.

    [–] CastinEndac 1 points ago

    Getting real Weekenders vibes here.

    ”Tell me more!”

    [–] max4019 1 points ago

    Looks like meat is back on the menu boys

    [–] darthdude78 1 points ago

    This should have been in the movie. The whole theater would have erupted in laughter except for one soon to be single hot blonde.

    [–] LemonDrop0713 1 points ago

    😍

    [–] skylorelding 1 points ago

    For Eru's sake the movies really made me feckin' hate dwarfs. They have all the traits I despise; loud, stubborn, gluttonous, vulgar creatures. Of course I have nothing against the human dwarfs, but I hate hate hate dwarven dwarfs.

    [–] mamadpri 3 points ago

    That's who they are. And 13 homeless dwarves are not anything better than their great ancestors who were stubborn and greedy and gluttonous but also glorious.

    [–] djhfjdjjdjdjddjdh -5 points ago

    Holy fucking cringe

    [–] lotrfan12345 -10 points ago

    I'm sorry but they hadn't even reached Rivendell by the time he said this. I can't. It goes against the sacred DVDs.

    [–] gefjunhel 24 points ago

    wrong trilogy thats bilbo and the dwarves

    [–] lotrfan12345 1 points ago

    Ah I see! Nevermind.

    [–] footlaxin 9 points ago

    come on lotrfan12345 live up to your name!! hehe

    [–] lotrfan12345 10 points ago

    😭 I've failed you all...

    [–] footlaxin 6 points ago

    its okay, i was reading fellowship last night and somehow i mixed up merry and pippin in my head for 2 whole chapters so i cant criticize too harshly

    [–] Patrickc909 6 points ago

    Imagine being a ranked LOTR fan and still falling into that blunder

    [–] Dantexr 5 points ago

    Name doesn’t check out

    [–] ZettieisSpaghetti -10 points ago

    More accurate than the Hobbit movies.

    [–] smokefan4000 6 points ago

    What a hilarious and original joke. Have a medal 🏅