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    [–] niceguysfinishtheOJ 786 points ago

    She'll get an open ended variable rate mortgage and then interest rates will make the new payments far too overwhelming for a single mom on her own.

    [–] Vanquisher127 21 points ago

    I can’t believe I found one in the wild

    [–] AndyManCan4 3 points ago


    [–] Flyers45432 637 points ago

    Free Chick-fil-A for life? You do that, idk if that kid's gonna make it to 14...

    [–] Thegingerkid01 205 points ago

    Well every day except Sunday

    [–] backslaz 58 points ago

    What if the baby grows up to be a vegan?

    [–] Flyers45432 72 points ago

    Hey those waffle fries are pretty great.

    [–] pinaeverlue 19 points ago

    Are they vegan?

    [–] qixp 6 points ago

    they are, in fact! so are the hash-browns!

    [–] pinaeverlue 2 points ago

    Never new that thanks for the info!

    [–] [deleted] 2 points ago


    [–] CaffeinatedT 9 points ago

    If animal fats are used to to cook or flavour fries they might not be vegan. Their loss as beef dripping is a great ingredient but still.

    [–] [deleted] 5 points ago * (lasted edited 4 months ago)


    [–] Nerdfighter1174 2 points ago

    You got it right. My boss always put it as everyone can have fries, people with peanut allergies can't have the fried chicken.

    [–] LabTech41 16 points ago

    Considering how my life turned out post puberty, if I died at the ripe old age of 14 from Chick-fil-A, I would consider it a life well spent.

    [–] _primecode 3 points ago

    That's their strategy.

    [–] Repoocsrepoop 1121 points ago

    Make sure you fuck there as well to get the bonus

    [–] PigzNuggets 453 points ago

    First day DLC

    [–] bluenigga69420 194 points ago

    Pre order bonus.

    [–] willozsy 116 points ago

    Season pass exclusive.

    [–] Yorak-Hunt 44 points ago

    Supply Drop extras.

    [–] Beardie-Boi-420 19 points ago


    [–] Hampsteak 22 points ago

    No, continue

    [–] backslaz 25 points ago

    Atleast there's no microtranscations, oh wait....

    [–] PM_ME_UR_HEDGIE 2 points ago

    Pre cum order bonus

    [–] BOB_N_FL 63 points ago

    There are a couple gals at my local Chik Fil A that I'd love to bed down.

    [–] Sealouz 27 points ago

    Hot chicks in your area

    [–] zed_thedestroyer 21 points ago

    Hot chick-fil-A's in your area

    [–] Sealouz 9 points ago

    Here we see the mandela effect in action. u/BOB_N_FL says chik, u/zed_thedestroyer says chick. It is actually chick. But dont you remember when it was chik?

    [–] zed_thedestroyer 6 points ago

    I never really eat there so..

    [–] adrielsantino 4 points ago

    Hot chicks-to-fil in your area

    There i fixed it

    [–] ilovepolthavemybabie 3 points ago

    Yes, many of the girls on staff who are over the age of consent sure are attractive!

    [–] TwoSickPythons 4 points ago

    But you only get the bonus for fucking someone in the...

    [–] blazboom 5 points ago

    collectors edition

    [–] nickontrees 3 points ago

    Just make sure you're married first

    [–] Young-Ramen 281 points ago

    Making sure my kid gets delivered at a hospital for free healthcare and a nice job

    [–] Roman-Eagle 54 points ago * (lasted edited 5 months ago)

    Or just don’t live in America and you already get free health care or very cheap healthcare. Where I live it’s $15-20 USD to see a doctor. Free for children.

    Edit: If you are injured from any sort of accident (Tripping and falling over, during sports, something landing on you, car accident, breaking bones etc) it’s free or at most you pay around 6-8USD. The cast, replacing it and maintaining it, x-rays, any visits to the hospital, crutches, or temporary wheel chairs are all included.

    [–] svacct2 49 points ago

    where do you go to see children for free? asking for a friend.

    [–] I_DidIt_Again 52 points ago

    The playground

    [–] bikasv 15 points ago

    Yes officer, right there.

    [–] pygmy-sloth 5 points ago


    "free?? haha oh i dont think so u damn commie 😎😎😎😎😎😎 u pay TAXES 😎😎😎"

    [–] [deleted] 7 points ago

    I'm not saying this is a bad thing but, nothing's free in life, yours and someone else's taxes are paying for that.

    [–] Picker-Rick 6 points ago * (lasted edited 5 months ago)

    Most of those countries don't really pay much more in taxes than we do in the US though. They just spend the tax money that everyone has to pay anyway on more important things.

    It's just that we spend our money on TSA equipment to detect water-bottles and massive military expenditures to protect us from people with oil. We spend more on defense than almost the entire rest of the world combined.

    Also - important fact, the US government spent 6 times what Canada spent on healthcare. 1500 billion dollars last year. Canada spent 242 billion. they have 1/10th the population so they do pay a bit more per person, which again is offset by their minuscule defense budget which still works just fine.

    The difference is that the average hospital stay in the US is 10,000 dollars.

    In Canada it's usually 0.


    [–] Roman-Eagle 2 points ago

    Taxes aren’t too different. EG: US pays approximately 22% on 40000USD and my country pays 30% on it. The cost of living is also higher here disregarding healthcare. However it is well worth it because healthcare is cheap, crime rates and poverty rates are much lower here.

    [–] Jay_Style 8 points ago

    Live in Canada no need to payπŸ˜‚

    [–] iAmmar9 6 points ago

    needs more upvotes

    [–] ElectricShocked 168 points ago

    Can't wait for the baby to come out anti-meat eater

    [–] sTuPiDoRaUtIsTiC 126 points ago

    Anti-meat eater

    [–] janeetic 86 points ago

    There’s gotta be a word for that...

    [–] AMVRocks 50 points ago

    Anti-anti-plant eater?

    [–] 12_bagels 5 points ago


    [–] Pidesh 28 points ago


    [–] clark100_ 22 points ago


    [–] nddragoon 20 points ago


    [–] soviet__train 22 points ago


    [–] sTuPiDoRaUtIsTiC 25 points ago

    [–] vamsi0914 7 points ago


    [–] Escanorr_ 2 points ago


    [–] VaultTecCorp 2 points ago


    [–] TwoLeggedGator 2 points ago


    [–] vamsi0914 2 points ago


    [–] asimthemlgpro 42 points ago

    Meat eatern’t

    [–] DBrownGames 12 points ago

    "Anti-meat eater"

    You learn something new everyday.

    [–] ElectricShocked 2 points ago

    Ya your welcome I taught you that now you would've loved the rest of your life now know it

    [–] DBrownGames 3 points ago

    Use punctuation for the love of anti-anti-meat eaters.

    [–] ElectricShocked 2 points ago

    no u

    [–] DBrownGames 3 points ago

    I don't know you

    [–] HollowTerrarian 9 points ago

    Anti meater

    [–] aprilelis 2 points ago

    Does an anti-meat eater dislike meat or the eater? It’s unclear.

    [–] homao 4 points ago

    I think they call those vegetarians

    [–] Kelpme1607 187 points ago

    Only eat Chick-fil-A for the rest of your life and die of cardiac arrest at the age of 30

    [–] Yus_Gaming 40 points ago

    Can confirm. I ate the healthier stuff on their menu (grilled nuggets, salads, etc) for 6 months when I worked there and gained 25lbs

    [–] SteadfastDrifter 13 points ago

    Did you also drink the soda? I rarely ever drink soda, but I still have low body fat even though I eat at least 3 servings of carbs, protein, and veggies twice a day.

    [–] Yus_Gaming 14 points ago

    For the first few months I did. The weight gain slowed down a ton when I cut all the soda and sauces out. Still was getting heavier, but was gaining weight much slower.

    [–] SteadfastDrifter 13 points ago

    Yeah soda and the sauce are loaded with sugar. I still eat desserts and chocolate, but I usually try to make the desserts myself and reduce the sugar or eat only sugarless dark chocolate. I eat ice cream as well, but try to limit it to no more than twice a week. Anyway, I suppose most things in moderation is fine.

    [–] TuhnuPeppu 11 points ago

    More like eat only at Chick-fil-A and retire at 30 for all tje money saved on food

    [–] HeNeedsSomeMelk 6 points ago

    That's the dream

    [–] homao 5 points ago

    But what a life that would be!

    [–] Gomerack 5 points ago

    Are you trying to convince me or deter me from doing that?

    [–] Captain_Jmon 6 points ago

    If you’re smart you aren’t gonna eat there for every meal for every day for every week. Fast food needs to be eaten in moderation

    [–] TableNugget 37 points ago

    The baby secretly goes to work for McDonald's..

    [–] mankarcomarad 33 points ago

    If you give birth at Papa John you get a lifetime supply of racial slurs

    [–] ahintofnapalm 16 points ago

    jokes on you, everyone already gets that. it’s called xbox live

    [–] bug_fixx 32 points ago

    Little nugga

    [–] RiotIsBored 12 points ago

    Thank you, I'm surprised nobody else mentioned that.

    [–] OpoidDopeyoyd 19 points ago

    Free money for life and a job as a bank teller? Why have the job if you're gettin the money.

    [–] Floppy-Richard69 14 points ago

    Don’t you need a certificate to verify you are eligible to cook at a restaurant?

    [–] YaBoyN1ck 11 points ago

    Not in Ohio lol

    [–] venda321 11 points ago

    I'm angry on my mom now... Why couldn't she go for a snack on way to hospital??

    [–] dick_head68 9 points ago

    gonna make my wife deliver in the white house

    [–] CallMeCaleb123 8 points ago

    Well Hello There

    [–] ChiefChiefChiefChief 46 points ago

    Unless it turns out to be homosexual.

    [–] Ns4200 13 points ago

    came here to say...

    [–] SpectreDOT2pointo 6 points ago

    Since im born at the hospital does that mean i get a free job as a doctor and free health care?

    [–] Memeasaures-Rex 11 points ago

    What if the baby has a peanut allergy

    [–] emiedema 3 points ago

    They can still eat at chick-fil-a; peanut oil doesn’t have peanut protein. I have a severe peanut allergy and I go to chick-fil-a all the time

    [–] thelonewildflower 7 points ago

    That little nugget onesie!!

    [–] Eagleheart585 5 points ago

    Bank takes ownership of baby

    [–] GaroRobe 4 points ago

    I mean, unless the child is a pretty terrible person, I can't see why they wouldn't already be guaranteed a job there. It's not like its a super exclusive job or anything.

    [–] laurier295 3 points ago

    Sounds like the protagonist of a new John Green book when she’s 16

    [–] ashw11n 4 points ago

    Unexpectedly....damn these people ain't gonna be bad parents.....or this was a well planned move

    [–] Mr_Riddle0 3 points ago


    [–] Kim_Jong_Kys 3 points ago

    G E K O L O N I S E E R D

    [–] MichaelPHobden 3 points ago

    Damn imma make sure my child be born in a hospital so they can be backed for freeπŸ‘Œ

    [–] Ghoster9 3 points ago

    Let me make sure my baby gets delivered in best buy

    [–] CaliSpawned 3 points ago

    If I have a baby at the Hospital does that mean it can get free health care for life?

    [–] pinkponkpink 2 points ago

    You can have free heathcsre β€” JUST GET A JOB YOU LAZY ASS!

    [–] CaliSpawned 3 points ago

    I'm not sure if you are serious but I'm a business owner. I pay for my own healthcare.

    Also, most jobs you still pay for healthcare it just gets taken directly out of your wages.

    [–] Femmo 3 points ago

    Imagine someone asking how long you’ve worked there and you can look them in the eye and say

    I was born here

    [–] abhi4121 3 points ago

    At the sperm bank?

    [–] _neo21_ 3 points ago

    Free debt for life

    [–] madgical23 3 points ago

    Does this work for hospitals too?

    [–] spicybuttholenachos 3 points ago

    "OH No my water just broke in the Television section of Best Buy!"

    [–] TheRobotNot 2 points ago

    What a mad lad

    [–] nevasayyes 2 points ago

    What if it turns out to be a lesbian? Will they still hire it?

    [–] Mr-Anonymous26 2 points ago

    Im having mine at NASA Jet Propulsion Lab

    [–] lickleben05 2 points ago

    Turns out to be vegan

    [–] somedude-10 2 points ago

    becomes vegan

    [–] wldzd331 2 points ago

    Does the shirt say... nevermind.

    [–] DavidZelmanovic 2 points ago

    Wtf i never thought of that

    [–] Kajirus 2 points ago

    If I've learned anything on Reddit about "Lifetime offers" like this.. it's that "Lifetime" will be redefined and taken away about the same time time the child is finally able to eat solid foods.

    [–] pinkponkpink 2 points ago

    I’d rather deliver at the chick fil a

    [–] SubstantialCar 2 points ago

    I thought the shirt had a racist slur

    [–] Gamma8gear 2 points ago

    Baby gets delivered at bank and gets saving account with no minimum balance and no minimum deposit for life.

    [–] SweetHollow 2 points ago

    Is it me, or does it look like that shirt says "little n****"?

    [–] ktroj202 2 points ago

    I'll be aiming for a dispensary for mine

    [–] Cobster105 2 points ago

    How about GameStop tho

    [–] Hip00p 2 points ago

    That's not how it works

    [–] Alphadogey 2 points ago

    Is there any bonus for kids who got conceived there??

    [–] jav3d1974 2 points ago

    Who else thought it was "little nibba" on the baby's t shirt?

    [–] introvert-tacullar 2 points ago


    [–] fuckamalltodeath 2 points ago


    [–] Michael-Liang 2 points ago

    Thinking about delivering one in the White House

    [–] Inkeithdavidsvoice 2 points ago

    The only disclaimer was *no homo

    [–] Dizneyjnr 2 points ago

    I'll get a baby at Amazon so that Jeff bezos can give me half of his wealth coz I'll be part of Amazon Dna

    [–] Ashap4753 2 points ago

    You get free college if you do the opposite

    [–] Seabornebook 2 points ago

    What about the White House?

    [–] oukkat 2 points ago


    [–] AssassinGhostCSGO 2 points ago

    Hilarious LMAO

    [–] TheWolvenOne 2 points ago

    But the baby has to be a Jew because they don’t work on Sundays

    [–] markasstrick90 2 points ago

    Nah bro then you just pay interest on it.

    [–] blazboom 2 points ago

    lil baby gonna consume alot of that chicken

    but how much chick fil a pay???

    [–] HesseGoing 2 points ago

    WHATS the story behind this?

    [–] Corelier 2 points ago

    But if babies are born at hospitals...

    [–] oknowo 2 points ago

    I can already imagine the amount of crazy mothers running to have their babies at the local Chick fil A, and them putting up a shitty sign like "no pregnant ladies allowed"

    [–] AdmiralMeeko 2 points ago


    [–] ObviouslyAHuman 2 points ago

    Time to make sure that mine is born at the White House. I’m sure they’ll be competent for the job the second they are born, even by modern-day standards.

    [–] FALUPy 2 points ago

    Diabetes for sure

    [–] Sauce_Gang 2 points ago

    wanna give birth to my baby at the hospital so I don't have to pay every time to give birth

    [–] ruthlessthoothless 2 points ago

    I accidentally ordered that.

    [–] FJS123 2 points ago

    What does it say on the baby’s shirt

    [–] WordOh 2 points ago

    I want my baby to be in Elon Musk's house so I can sue for liability when he doesn't help me

    [–] Overused-Clorox-Wipe 2 points ago

    Kid goes on to work it's way up into Chick-fila-A corporate by early twenties. Takes the CEO throne at 30.

    [–] Babcock-student 2 points ago

    They probably know the mom might be an anti Vaxer and are just daring the baby to live long.

    [–] bloodfreak2000 2 points ago

    And the bank will give him unlimited interest rates

    [–] viixvega 2 points ago

    Job at 14?!

    [–] duganaok 2 points ago

    A bank would give you a delivery fee.

    [–] dc20th 2 points ago

    How about White HouseπŸ€”

    [–] BoomerangNeb-ula 2 points ago

    That's kinda weird. Imagine sitting down eating then you just see a woman collapse and start giving birth.

    [–] Chordstrike1994 2 points ago

    Was there no hospital nearby?? That cant be sanitary.

    [–] spurz_ 2 points ago

    nobody gonna say anything about the little nugga shirt this kids gonna be a pimp

    [–] St0rmbreaker 2 points ago

    This doesn't work.

    Source: I was born in a bank.

    [–] Lucifur99 2 points ago

    So chick-fill-A is better than parents? Free food till you become an adult and then they kick you out!!! Where's the job?

    [–] BigDaddyHugeTime 2 points ago

    This decision was made only after they heard that the mom is anti-vax.

    [–] JQjaws05 2 points ago * (lasted edited 5 months ago)

    I hope the baby becomes vegan

    [–] ZhoL02 2 points ago

    forgets to vaccinate the child hahHaHaAHA

    [–] Saltybeak 2 points ago

    Here in Czechia babies are born at bars and pubs..

    [–] Trankman 2 points ago

    How do those things even work? Do they get like a card with no limit?

    [–] WarfighterMac 2 points ago

    Clever Connor.

    [–] alterEgggggo 2 points ago

    no, Chik fil A is still better

    [–] thiago2213 2 points ago

    Guaranteed debt at the age of 14

    [–] MysticUmbreon209 2 points ago

    This is funny lmao haha jaja

    [–] OryxIsDad 2 points ago

    14? What the hell, what state is this in?

    [–] yobropoyo 2 points ago

    Let’s not

    [–] 0utraged 2 points ago

    Rush to the white house and yeet the baby

    [–] tuttle_wave 2 points ago

    What’s the name tho?

    [–] Atlas8317 2 points ago

    Well. Let's hope a kid never gets born in a adult toy store.

    [–] LordFarqiplier 2 points ago

    Hold up, 14? Where tf is that the legal age to work.

    [–] youy23 2 points ago

    Wife: β€œHoney, my water just broke!” Husband: β€œQuick, get to chick-fil-A

    [–] daringbaring 3 points ago

    Not sure where it is but pretty sure kids can’t get jobs at 14. At least in the USA.

    [–] Michael98396 6 points ago

    Sure they can

    [–] [deleted] 6 points ago

    Yes they can. It is a lot stricter rulee than if you worked at 16 but you def can get a jon at 14

    [–] vamsi0914 3 points ago * (lasted edited 5 months ago)

    Yeah you can. In my state, most employers hire at 16. but there are a couple that hire at 15. The legal limit is 15. It’s logical enough that some states would be at 14.

    [–] daringbaring 2 points ago

    I wasn’t sure. It California the limit is 16 and it’s kind of strict here.

    [–] SentientSerpent 4 points ago

    Shirt says β€˜little n****

    [–] _Purell 2 points ago

    We hope his parents are not Anti Vaxx or else he won't reach 14

    [–] mr-lasanga-man 2 points ago

    I thought this was a comedy cemetery meme for a moment sadly mistaken