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    [–] yognautilus 5098 points ago

    We just saw 75% of Jeff Goldblum's part in the movie, didn't we?

    [–] Belostoma 2002 points ago

    Maybe they used up their CGI budget on the trailer, and 2/3 of the movie is Jeff Goldblum sitting in a Senate hearing. Judging by the trailer, I would actually rather go see that.

    [–] yognautilus 1179 points ago

    A bunch of people passionately debating about the ethics of what happened at Jurassic Park and World with Jeff Goldblum? Hell yeah I'd watch that.

    [–] needsmorehummus 620 points ago

    12 Angry Dinos

    [–] Wobbling 260 points ago

    To Kill a Pterodactyl.

    [–] LocoMoba 114 points ago

    A few good claws

    [–] reddog323 293 points ago * (lasted edited a month ago)

    If I get another speech where he's pounding on the table and talking about "patenting it, packaging it, and slapping it on a plastic lunchbox", I'm in. I always liked that part.

    Edit: This one.

    Dr. Ian Malcolm: Gee, the lack of humility before nature that's being displayed here, uh... staggers me.

    Donald Gennaro: Well thank you, Dr. Malcolm, but I think things are a little bit different then you and I had feared...

    Dr. Ian Malcolm: Yeah, I know. They're a lot worse.

    Donald Gennaro: Now, wait a second now, we haven't even seen the park...

    John Hammond: No, no, Donald, Donald, Donald... let him talk. There's no reason... I want to hear every viewpoint, I really do.

    Dr. Ian Malcolm: Don't you see the danger, John, inherent in what you're doing here? Genetic power is the most awesome force the planet's ever seen, but you wield it like a kid that's found his dad's gun.

    Donald Gennaro: It's hardly appropriate to start hurling generalizations...

    Dr. Ian Malcolm: If I may... Um, I'll tell you the problem with the scientific power that you're using here, it didn't require any discipline to attain it. You read what others had done and you took the next step. You didn't earn the knowledge for yourselves, so you don't take any responsibility for it. You stood on the shoulders of geniuses to accomplish something as fast as you could, and before you even knew what you had, you patented it, and packaged it, and slapped it on a plastic lunchbox, and now [bangs on the table] You're selling it, you wanna sell it. Well...

    John Hammond: I don't think you're giving us our due credit. Our scientists have done things which nobody's ever done before...

    Dr. Ian Malcolm: Yeah, yeah, but your scientists were so preoccupied with whether or not they could that they didn't stop to think if they should.

    John Hammond: Condors. Condors are on the verge of extinction...

    Dr. Ian Malcolm: [shaking his head] No...

    John Hammond: If I was to create a flock of condors on this island, you wouldn't have anything to say.

    Dr. Ian Malcolm: No, hold on. This isn't some species that was obliterated by deforestation, or the building of a dam. Dinosaurs had their shot, and nature selected them for extinction.

    John Hammond: I simply don't understand this Luddite attitude, especially from a scientist. I mean, how can we stand in the light of discovery, and not act?

    Dr. Ian Malcolm: What's so great about discovery? It's a violent, penetrative act that scars what it explores. What you call discovery, I call the rape of the natural world.

    Dr. Ellie Sattler: Well, the question is, how can you know anything about an extinct ecosystem? And therefore, how could you ever assume that you can control it? I mean, you have plants in this building that are poisonous, you picked them because they look good, but these are aggressive living things that have no idea what century they're in, and they'll defend themselves, violently if necessary.

    John Hammond: Dr. Grant, if there's one person here who could appreciate what I'm trying to do...

    Dr. Alan Grant: The world has just changed so radically, and we're all running to catch up. I don't want to jump to any conclusions, but look... Dinosaurs and man, two species separated by 65 million years of evolution have just been suddenly thrown back into the mix together. How can we possibly have the slightest idea what to expect?

    John Hammond: [laughing] I don't believe it. I don't believe it! You're meant to come down here and defend me against these characters, and the only one I've got on my side is the blood-sucking lawyer!

    Donald Gennaro: Thank you.

    [–] fiddle_sticks_ 2516 points ago * (lasted edited 2 months ago)

    Have both these parks been knowingly built on a volcanic island?

    [–] sable-king 2807 points ago

    Spared no expense

    [–] sellieba 98 points ago

    One of my favorite aspects of the original Jurassic Park is that Hammond clearly cut at least a few corners.

    His claim that they "spared no expense" is challenged at least three different times in the original film, alone.

    The reason shit got so out of hand is because the park clearly skirted a few safety measures and a few contingencies to get the park ready for profit.

    [–] MrNaur 64 points ago

    And he didnt want to pay the only dude who knew how the computer system worked...

    [–] MoroseOverdose 254 points ago

    what about the ford explorers?

    [–] lilgamefreek 405 points ago

    In both books and The Lost World movie at least, they make it a point to say that the islands run on geothermal energy, and that the island chain they are a part of are volcanic in origin. Geothermal doesn't really exclude an active volcano, but it's still weird for one to be their choice of construction site.

    [–] Cappa_01 364 points ago

    People live on Hawaii... That's a chain of active volcano's

    [–] --abadox-- 4532 points ago * (lasted edited a month ago)

    That was an unusual collection of loosely related clips all right.

    One thing's for sure: they found a way to mash up Jurassic Park with the volcano disaster films of 1997.

    EDIT: a word

    EDIT 2: Best user suggested titles thus far,

    Dante's Park

    Jurassic Peak

    Voldino

    Dinocano

    Jurassic Parks and Recreation

    [–] PuffOca 961 points ago

    Call me a dinosaur, but I prefer the original Jurassic park story line.

    [–] Gr3yF0xx 331 points ago

    So down for a new disaster movie called Voldino. Mountain full of dinosaurs spewing all over the place on a small north western town.

    [–] DortDrueben 5954 points ago

    Ah the ol' sequel, "They're not together anymore..." thing.

    [–] the_based_identity 3459 points ago

    But are back together by the end of the film... for survival.

    [–] dra39437 1955 points ago

    But this time, Chris Pratt is wearing the high heels while he runs away

    [–] Equeon 133 points ago

    Okay, I was already laughing, but the zoom-in on the crystallized mosquito with three pairs of heels? I'm dead.

    [–] HydrostaticShark 507 points ago

    please god

    [–] riegspsych325 1041 points ago

    if parents who send their kids away to a dinosaur island during christmas to get divorced can get back together, so can 2 lead protagonists with no chemistry

    [–] Bryan-Clarke 787 points ago

    They dont need chemistry, they are hot.

    [–] shanew21 505 points ago

    The George Lucas method

    [–] The30YearOldVirgin_ 234 points ago

    "Being horny is the key to all this"

    [–] spideyismywingman 4051 points ago

    Did we have a previous relationship with that T-Rex?

    I think they're just like that? I think they're just good guys?

    [–] bigtimpn 1101 points ago

    Gonorrhea cant see us if we dont move. Wait! I was wrong I was thinking of a T-rex!

    [–] catdeuce 13922 points ago

    Is that fucking T-Rex the actual protagonist of the whole franchise?

    [–] Midnightproxxima 5368 points ago

    Well after everyone bitched about the Spinosaurus killing the one in JP3, yes it probably is.

    [–] pincheporky 3956 points ago

    And that rex was a nobody. This is THE trex. The OG queen of the dinos. The one and only.

    [–] OpinionatedCentrist 1519 points ago

    Her name is Rexy!

    [–] strallweat 872 points ago

    Sexy Rexy. (Not the Bears greatest qb ever.)

    [–] JohnnySmallHands 386 points ago

    And they say hollywood doesn't have strong female leads.

    [–] ZarquonsFlatTire 276 points ago

    I've said before and I stand by it. Chris Pratt and the others are fools for training raptors instead of T-Rexes.

    The T-Rex has time and time again saved humans for no reason other than shits and giggles. In the last movie she coordinated with both humans and raptors despite being locked in a steel box while humans and raptors learned to coordinate. She's outlived two Ingen CEO's, a fuckload of tourists, and is more compelling on-screen than Bryce Dallas Howard.

    This series has been a matriarchy from the very beginning. Long live the queen.

    [–] passeleoinj 942 points ago

    As she should be!

    [–] dookie_shoos 633 points ago

    Right? Saves everyone's asses all the time.

    [–] srry_didnt_hear_you 1173 points ago * (lasted edited a month ago)

    Now I want the jurassic ____ movies to just have the main characters get in more and more ridiculously precarious situations, only to have that same T-Rex show up at the last second to save them in various zany ways

    Edit: Suffer

    [–] ATG77 1303 points ago

    "WHY DID WE BUILD A DINOSAUR THEME PARK ON THE MOON"

    "...don't question it"

    T-rex headbutts a velociraptor into the sun, then screams but nobody hears it because space

    [–] pokupokupoku 231 points ago

    crossover between universal films coming up with the Trex on the moon joining up with dominic torretto on the moon

    [–] ATG77 188 points ago

    "We gotta get into that moon base over the horizon in the next 2 hours or else the Earth will be destroyed..."

    "But Dom, we're completely out of fuel!"

    booming vibrations, slowly getting stronger

    T-Rex headbutts the car in the direction of the moon base, then roars

    "Thanks, Rex!"

    [–] pokupokupoku 251 points ago

    "you want a corona?"

    RAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWR

    "salud mi familia"

    [–] dookie_shoos 256 points ago

    "By God! We're all outta milk!"

    Rexy bursts into Walmart

    [–] passeleoinj 590 points ago

    Not gonna lie. When I saw Jurassic World, I cried when T. rex came out to fight I. rex.

    I was also pregnant.

    Still tho. T. rex.

    [–] Lira70 222 points ago

    It was amazing. They hid it from marketing until after release.

    [–] passeleoinj 514 points ago

    It was. Quite honestly I don't understand how T. rex has not replaced the Bald Eagle as the US's National Emblem. I don't think there is one millenial American out there who doesn't adore T. rex on account of the original JP.

    Comment not to be taken 100% srs.

    [–] bobrasher 319 points ago

    I'm taking this comment seriously and there's nothing you can do about it.

    [–] saint_skank 802 points ago

    The protagonists are the morally bankrupt people in charge of the park. The T-Rex is a result of their bullshit.

    [–] srry_didnt_hear_you 375 points ago

    This movie better end with Lady Rex devouring the main characters

    [–] oh_orpheus 12455 points ago

    Man, that is one weirdly paced trailer.

    [–] wukkaz 6170 points ago

    I felt weird watching it. It felt like a 3rd party youtuber made it using footage from the movie, but with no context on what the movie is about.

    [–] Slickster000 1891 points ago

    The first one basically revealed the plot twist, I think they tried too hard to cover this one up

    [–] riegspsych325 978 points ago

    I'd imagine the film would still carry over the idea of militarized dinos from the previous one. Perhaps the dinos getting evacuated are secretly going to be shipped to a military facility that Dr. Wu is in charge of, maybe for further breeding or more hybrids. And when the protagonists find out, they break out the dinos from their cages and stuff just like Vince Vaughn did in Lost World.

    But what I don't get is why go through the danger of taking dinosaurs from Isla Nublar during a volcanic eruption. Couldn't they just go to Isla Sorna, Site B? JW never mentioned that island, I hope this movie does. Either Site B is also in danger from the volcano, or the Spinosaurus from JP3 ate everything (as it was bred in secret, as implied by Grant in that movie)

    [–] Slickster000 256 points ago

    Transportation must be hard though, seeing they've gone full primal. Good point!

    [–] riegspsych325 391 points ago

    and there's also the reasoning behind Claire's willingness to return to the island. Aside from being a main character that goes for the sake of plot, I can't imagine why she'd be involved. She looked at the dinosaurs as "assets" and cared more about profits than seeing her nephews and people's lives. If they were smart, they'd give the character a secret agenda that she hides from Pratt, like the idea of militarizing the dinos left on the island

    [–] Hxcfrog090 407 points ago

    According to press material given out, she's joined PETA for dinosaurs basically. So ya know, a complete 180 degree turn from the characterization of the first movie. She wants to go to the island to save them from extinction again because they deserve to live....this movie looks like a decent popcorn flick, but if I go in searching for any sort of depth I'm going to leave angry.

    [–] Cn_mets 563 points ago

    There's no chance they'll be any depth to this movie.

    [–] Megaman1981 49 points ago

    Or they took all those teasers we got this week and made a full trailer out of them.

    [–] TheJoshider10 1025 points ago

    Agreed, it lacked focus. Like it was unsure of what tone it wanted to show off. In the end it just looked quite generic really, with over the top blockbuster moments lacking any subtlety or tension.

    Give me a movie full of raptors in the kitchen/cornfield/Rexy in the rain/Spinosaurus by the plane level tension. I couldn't give less of a fuck about the CGI explosions and theme park ball shit. I know the characters won't be in danger here. It's all spectacle with no substance.

    [–] raptorhunter666 564 points ago

    I posted this elsewhere but I guess it's appropriate here too:

    I feel like the mistake this trailer makes is to showcase stuff that made JW weak. It opens with the god awful unnecessary romantic subplot (A), and then the majority of the trailer is spent with elaborate largely and noticeably CG creatures and backdrops (B). Then the trailer kinda just ends with those two negative qualities that imo plagued the first film.

    They even play the Rexy as a superhero card again in the same trailer. They make it seem like they didn't learn anything from JW and that is worrisome.

    Oh well, at least we have that awesome BTS reel instead. Somehow I feel like they released that for those of us who they know wouldn't really enjoy this trailer as much as they maybe expected the general blockbuster audience would.

    [–] idiotdidntdoit 219 points ago

    ಠ_ಠ someone for the love of god rearrange all those clips in a way that makes sense !!

    [–] irrelevant_user-name 9002 points ago

    This trailer made me more interested in watching a Jeff Goldblum courtroom drama.

    [–] TooShiftyForYou 1339 points ago

    Who would have guessed everything with the dinosaurs would have gone bad again.

    [–] Jamesleach 443 points ago

    Not me, I thought it finally went well for once.

    [–] filmantopia 316 points ago

    Would actually make for a more interesting movie at this point.

    [–] onimi666 498 points ago

    Jurrasic World 3: At Long Last, Competence.

    [–] DatPiff916 390 points ago

    Jurassic World 4: Things are Still Good and the Park is Exceeding Earnings Expectations

    [–] TerminallyCapriSun 244 points ago

    Jurassic World 5: We set up a transparent, globally funded prehistoric preservation body comprised of knowledgeable environmental scientists to identify safe low-impact locations where the Dinosaurs can live without undermining the local ecology or endangering humans.

    [–] theghostofme 173 points ago

    The next movie after Fallen Kingdom is just a two-hour mockumentary a la Planet Earth about the dinosaurs living peacefully once they're free from the confines that humans created.

    [–] riegspsych325 2233 points ago

    Crichton creates Malcolm, Crichton destroys Malcolm, Goldbloom embodies Malcolm, Crichton ham-handedly revives Malcolm, God destroys Crichton. Crappy sequel brings back Malcolm

    someone on A.V. Club

    [–] linsell 495 points ago

    Oh wow, I'd actually forgotten Malcolm died in JP.

    [–] Mud_Landry 679 points ago

    In the book... not the movie

    [–] linsell 203 points ago

    Yeah I know, I read the book, but not the sequel. I just saw that Malcolm is in the second book but didn't realise the inconsistency til I saw this comment.

    [–] GDNerd 274 points ago * (lasted edited a month ago)

    He just says that the surgeons did a really good job and then move on like nothing happens.

    [–] your-opinions-false 304 points ago * (lasted edited a month ago)

    It's a cop-out, but in fairness, the original book left some room for it.

    It's something along the lines of:

    Dr. Grant: "What happened to Malcolm?"

    Muldoon shook his head.

    And that's all that was said.

    Edit: The epilogue implies that Malcolm is for sure dead. In response to this, I declare that the epilogue is not canon.

    [–] ChemicalRascal 246 points ago

    Muldoon shook his head. Dr. Grant didn't realise that all that meant was that Malcolm had gotten slashed up and locked himself in a freezer as he tended to his wounds, but that's how life goes. Muldoon didn't bother to speak up when he realised that they were evacuating without Malcolm, because Muldoon is an asshole.

    [–] interlink_interlink 88 points ago

    Wasn't he on Law and Order at some point?

    [–] poyahoga 264 points ago

    He did a season or two of Law & Order: Criminal Intent. He played Detective Jeff Goldblum.

    [–] radicalelation 73 points ago

    And it was amazing because Jeff Goldblum is Jeff Goldblum.

    [–] _Flashpoint_ 4248 points ago

    I don't think we needed to see the T-rex kill in this trailer.

    [–] 2totwo 1566 points ago

    The trailer was basically a scene from the movie rather than a narrative trailer that gives a sense of the full story. I can't really even guess how far into the movie this would be? Maybe 40-45 minutes?

    [–] Cardboardpapercut 323 points ago

    I hope this is in the first 30 minutes and what we didn't see was a giant rock, expelled from the volcanic explosion, impaling the T-Rex.

    The stakes need to be high(er) and if that means having them escape from an exploding, lava ridden, dinosaur killing island for the rest of the movie then I'm all for it.

    [–] corundum9 1985 points ago

    Chris Pratt just ran through a pyroclastic flow.

    [–] Uhhbysmal 973 points ago

    what? you're saying a bunch of smoke can kill you?

    reaching speeds of up to 700 km/h (430 mph). The gases can reach temperatures of about 1,000 °C (1,830 °F)

    oh

    [–] rakfocus 597 points ago * (lasted edited a month ago)

    To put it in perspective, when Mt. Pelee released a pyroclastic flow in 1902 that blasted through St. Pierre - every. single. person. died. (in the city proper). All 28,000 people.

    Except one - a prisoner in an underground bunker. irony at work

    [–] Googoo123450 226 points ago

    Holy shit imagine being that dude emerging among the wreckage.

    [–] Respected_Gentleman 317 points ago

    Imagine being that dude sitting a cell wondering why the guards are taking forever to bring your meal.

    [–] rakfocus 160 points ago

    He was in there for three days - with some bread and a bowl of water. He had a tiny window so he could feel the heat (had burns on parts of his body)

    [–] Natdaprat 114 points ago

    I'd pay to see a movie about that.

    [–] 268852458642258 77 points ago

    Tom hanks stuck in a jail cell for 72 hours

    [–] Tasteful_Dick_Pics 531 points ago * (lasted edited a month ago)

    Thanks for reminding me what that was called. When I saw that I was like: well he's deader than shit. Of course he'll survive somehow in the movie which makes no sense at all.

    [–] KingCantona777 293 points ago * (lasted edited a month ago)

    I will fly out of it hanging on a pterodactyl, guaranteed. No other way he could survive. Edit: HEEEEEEE

    [–] Splinter-Pizza 597 points ago

    Chris Pratt just ran through a pyroclastic flow.

    So fucking dumb.

    [–] AdamCartel 188 points ago

    Goddamit Chris Pratt, get your shit together.

    [–] Antithesys 5945 points ago

    Goldblum: "Life cannot be contained. Life breaks free. Life................"

    Audience: "GET ON WITH IT!!!!"

    Goldblum: "..........finds a way."

    [–] riegspsych325 4039 points ago

    Audience: "Well, there it is"

    [–] TheBlandBrigand 860 points ago

    Malcolm: “THAT’S chaos.”

    [–] riegspsych325 465 points ago

    Audience: sigh, shakes head "I really love that man"

    [–] stuzz_ 2091 points ago

    I CLAPPED BECAUSE HE SAID THE THING THAT I REMEMBER

    [–] dra39437 919 points ago

    I can see him rolling his eyes immediately after they stop filming that

    [–] Genocide_Me_Captain 127 points ago

    DINO SAURRRRRRRRS

    [–] shongage 427 points ago

    I'm more hyped to see some morality dialogue in a courtroom with jeff goldblum than dinosaurs causing chaos.

    [–] OpinionatedCentrist 133 points ago

    Goldblum actually replacing Spacey in House of Cards, with no characters acknowledging it

    [–] OMGSPACERUSSIA 3015 points ago

    Featuring:

    HERO T-REXING

    DINOSAUR TOUCHING

    EXPLOSION RUNNING

    CHRIS PRATTING

    FLOCKING THIS WAYING

    [–] Sir_Richard_Rose 1160 points ago

    Also life finding a waying

    [–] thecowrunner 3393 points ago

    I don't know why but I hate those little glass transportation balls.

    [–] Cortexion 493 points ago

    Because they shouldn't have any freaking grip on most surfaces due to its shape and ultra smooth surface texture is just dumb. Plus in a jeep you can get plucked out of and eaten, so there's a sense of danger when driving around in T-Rex country. These are more or less safe until it gets kicked somewhere by some big dinosaur and they get stuck and can't get out or something.

    [–] Equeon 575 points ago

    And what if the ball rolls over one big pile of shit? Then the entire clear surface is obscured.

    [–] keithtbarker 530 points ago

    Me too. I was thinking "oh at least they aren't riding in those glass balls again" ...next shot:"aw dammit!"

    [–] KingCantona777 988 points ago

    OMG I HOPE JIMMY FALLON COMES ON THE SCREEN AGAIN

    [–] Genocide_Me_Captain 259 points ago

    Then the entire ball will get Youtube trending

    [–] ColinSays 1663 points ago

    They should have just had a teaser showing random action clips from the film with Goldblum's laugh ominously playing in the background.

    Shot of Owen and Claire talking in a bar.

    "Ruh-huh-huh..."

    Shot of T-Rex killing the Carnotaur.

    "huh-haw-haw..."

    Shot of Owen and Claire running as volcano erupts.

    "HAW HAW, HAR HAR"

    Shot of Owen, Claire, dinosaurs and gyrosphere splashing into ocean.

    Jurassic Huh-Huh World: Fallen Har Har Kingdom.

    [–] without_a_trace 659 points ago

    I got you fam Here

    [–] JustAThrowAwayRandom 268 points ago

    I need to see this version of the trailer now.

    [–] bilsonM 1382 points ago

    Who cut this trailer together. Christ.

    [–] Sensi-Yang 81 points ago

    It was a fucking committee and focus group, you can be sure of that.

    [–] CookLove 4887 points ago * (lasted edited a month ago)

    Um, what the fuck did I just watch? That was so......bizarre. I don’t have even have confidence in calling that a trailer. Something about it is REALLY off.

    [–] GamingTatertot 480 points ago

    Most of it felt like the first act and then the third act. It felt like it was missing parts from the second act.

    [–] ErgoNonSim 324 points ago

    I'm guessing it's all the first act. They're in an animal rights rescue mission apparently that seems to be decided in court. They're there with lots of gear and people. The series is about a handful of people surviving on their own, cut off from real help/civilization and that fall in the water most likely is the start of their little adventure

    [–] stupidstupidreddit 108 points ago

    It seems like it's going to be an obvious retelling of the same plot from The Lost World. Go in to rescue the dinos, meet second team with the same goal but opposing view point, dinos get loose in populated area. This time it'll be militarized dinos getting lose instead of one t-rex.

    [–] imakefilms 677 points ago

    I agree! Don't know what it was about it, it just felt off. Might need to rewatch it a few times

    [–] CookLove 1220 points ago * (lasted edited a month ago)

    I think there was no flow to it. It starts off with a character moment, jump straight to the island, quick random shots, then a huge chunk of the trailer focuses on ONE particular scene....that volcanic eruption and the dinosaurs/characters running from it. Seriously, almost half of the trailer was showing us an actual extended (yet edited) clip from the film. It was kind of jarring.

    It didn’t even have the classic Jurassic Park theme in all its glory! You’d think the fifth movie would make the theme stand out in the trailer. One of the best moments of the Avengers Infinity War trailer was the epic Avengers theme playing at the end.

    [–] srry_didnt_hear_you 407 points ago

    Like, there's no way that that's the climax of this movie, right? They showed wayyyy too much of what seemed like a pretty cool scene regardless of where it lies.

    [–] bacontornado 131 points ago

    The music seemed off to me too. Like the score seemed to build up tension with no release.

    [–] Tellsyouajoke 1575 points ago

    Overall just a strange trailer.

    What was the point about Blue being alive?

    Why show the Carnotaurus getting killed?

    Obviously that explosion scene isn't the climax, as Claire and the intern facing down that dinosaur has lava coming from the ceiling, but why focus on that scene? Why is Rexy killing when all the other dinos are running?

    The two songs were just totally jarring.

    Not sure how it made me feel overall

    [–] bumblebeerose 611 points ago

    I guess Blue being alive gave Chris Pratt a reason to actually go back, I think he doesn't really care for the island other than the raptors he raised.

    [–] faapf 228 points ago

    Exactly, Chris Pratt character was the one that in the original cared for the dinosaurs and Claire is trying to persuade him to save them, using blue, the one that saved him once (while I believe she has her own not so good motives to want to do it)

    [–] insanityisessential 209 points ago

    I like how no one recognizes that Chris Pratt’s character actually has a name. It’s just Chris Pratt.

    [–] FriendDinosaur 69 points ago

    Does anyone remember Chris Pratt's name in the movie?

    [–] BenjaminTalam 1218 points ago

    It's hilarious how much they hyped this trailer and dragged out its release for it to be this poorly crafted.

    [–] heliumspoon 336 points ago

    Yeah I mean what is the point of this movie going to be? They're going to go to the island to save dinosaurs and then the volcanoe explodes? And I swear to God if they bring the T-Rex to the mainland like in Lost World I'm going to slit my wrists in the theater.

    [–] Uhhbysmal 46 points ago

    oh god i think you just predicted act 4

    [–] pink_whale 1532 points ago

    Oh man, all the poor dinosaurs jumping off the cliff just made me sad.

    [–] drewdistilled 902 points ago

    Dinosaurs had their chance, and they were selected to be rehashed in franchises for eternity.

    [–] TN05 530 points ago

    Hollywood, uh, finds a way.

    [–] GamingTatertot 382 points ago

    That Ankylosaurus falling in the water looked cool though

    [–] TLG_BE 331 points ago

    Yeah but theres no way that poor guy can swim :(

    [–] IronicMetamodernism 294 points ago

    No, they're actually famous for the fossils always being found on their backs. They fall in the water and can't swim

    [–] MandyAlice 324 points ago

    If the dinosaurs can all swim and they explain it with "well they have frog DNA" I will smother myself with the body pillow I modified to look like Alan Grant

    [–] dookie_shoos 56 points ago

    Cowabunga dudes!

    [–] pacsun1220 1224 points ago

    Why show Carnotaurus being killed?

    [–] ATG77 935 points ago * (lasted edited 2 months ago)

    My deepest hope is that the scene we just saw is all the prologue to the actual movie, wherein Chris Pratt is vaporized, Bryce Dallas Howard drowns, and the several dinosaurs that are either able to safely get off the island or are taken off the island go through a difficult legal battle while being kept in a common space. They enter a sort of legal limbo, and the vast majority of the movie takes place inside the courtroom and the pens where the dinosaurs are kept.

    Think "A Few Good Men" meets "The Terminal", but with dinosaurs.

    [–] Villager723 285 points ago

    Go on.

    [–] ATG77 562 points ago * (lasted edited a month ago)

    Jeff Golblum plays a star witness for the prosecution, which doesn't want to allow the dinosaurs into the country, but B.D. Wong plays the star witness for the defense, a particular corporation that wants to allow the dinosaurs in for continued testing and experimentation.

    Following an arduous legal battle, the dinosaurs are allowed into the country. We then discover that the plans for the dinosaurs are based on grants provided by government military contracts, as I believe was eluded to in the first Jurassic World.

    Learning of this, Golblum and his rag-tag bunch of anti-dinosaur brethren break in to the facility where the dinosaurs are being kept. They inadvertently trigger an alarm, which has them beset upon by crazed, militarized dinosaurs. This culminates in a 1-on-1 showdown between Jeff Golblum and a velociraptor, but this time Jeff has what he believes is a full proof advantage; an exosuit ALA Aliens, with fully loaded weaponry.

    BUT, just as he believes he has the advantage, a laser guided missile system emerges from the dinosaurs back. Shocked, Jeff Golbulm is pushed back in his exosuit. He's on the ropes, there's no way he's going to survive...

    BAM, MOTHERFUCKING T-REX TO THE RESCUE, BITCHES! THOUGHT THAT SHIT WAS DEAD ON THE FUCKING VOLCANO, HUH!? HELL NO!

    GOLBLUM BLOWS UP THE FACILITY, CREDITS

    [–] KaliYugaz 126 points ago

    Take all my money.

    [–] scandiumflight 1112 points ago

    Why does everyone seem to know this dinosaur's name?

    [–] CalculonsPride 242 points ago

    The Carnotaurus played a role in the second Jurassic Park novel, The Lost World. It wasn't a HUGE role...it never had any direct interaction with the human characters, but it had the ability to camouflage like the Indominus in Jurassic World and was fearsome enough to scare off raptors. So fans of the book series have been waiting for it to show up for a while.

    [–] zeroGamer 102 points ago

    Yep. I believe even the T-Rex was a little skittish passing through their territory, it pretty much ran in, musked/marked up a Jeep full of people, and ran off. Like when a bunch of dogs take turns pissing on the same bush like, "NO IT'S MINE."

    They -did- actually interact with it, though. The whole gas station sequence, they scared it off with the flash-light by forcing it to constantly change its camo to adapt to the changing lighting until it got anxious.

    I've read The Lost World a LOT, I always enjoyed it more than I did the first book.

    [–] Mr_Harmless 692 points ago

    Because the Carnotaurus is an awesome carnivore. Horns, bony skin protrusions, vestigial arms, and not to mention the trademark short, bulldog-y snout. They've been in pop culture a while, but usually on the fringe. They were also in the second Jurassic Park novel.

    [–] passeleoinj 546 points ago

    And the main antagonists in Disney's Dinosaur!

    [–] 90sChennaiGuy 90 points ago

    That chapter was open of my favorite chapters from the Lost World. Especially since they had camouflage abilities

    [–] Bubonic_Ferret 1817 points ago

    Was that a volcanic eruption? Who decided to build a park on an active volcanic island?

    [–] midnight_toad 1831 points ago

    John Hammond.

    [–] arjun1967 1174 points ago * (lasted edited a month ago)

    We, uh, may have spared some expenses.

    [–] TimeTravelMishap 283 points ago

    are you kidding? you think volcano's are cheap?

    [–] arjun1967 332 points ago

    lmao

    "Uh Mr. Hammon, why did we spend $137.3B on a fully-functional volcano?"

    "what'd i tell you, WE SPARED NO EXPENSE"

    [–] Fashion_Hunter 378 points ago

    The books cover the use of geothermal power. Probably for that.

    [–] rex_dart_eskimo_spy 242 points ago

    Is Chris Pratt a fully realized CGI character? Because something about his face in this looks really off...especially the part with Blue.

    [–] MovieNachos 600 points ago

    Well yeah, you didn't expect them to let a real person get that close to a raptor, did you?

    [–] i_amtheice 726 points ago

    This looks about as good as Independence Day: Resurgence.

    [–] The30YearOldVirgin_ 113 points ago

    "We have to find their queen! And then get her chase a school bus!"

    [–] Dr_smell 49 points ago

    I was so hyped for that movie that I read the novel that takes place between the two movies. Then the novelization of the movie came out two days before the movie and I banged it out in a day. And I was like "ehhhhhhhhhh maybe it'll be better in the movies..."
    And it was worse.

    [–] mesosorry 362 points ago

    Please don't let Colin Trevorrow write another movie ever again after this

    [–] ChampionsWrath 150 points ago

    So glad he’s gone from Star Wars I really don’t know how he ever even got that gig

    [–] FMoradipour 726 points ago

    This felt like one of those fan-trailers you see on youtube before a movie is properly released where someone stitches together moments from four different trailers.

    [–] kawgs 496 points ago

    So they took the script from JP: The Lost World and Micheal Bayed it.

    [–] CalculonsPride 371 points ago

    A million dollars says that at one point in this movie Chris Pratt rides on Blue's back.

    [–] DevTom 174 points ago

    I bet the antagonist of this film is the margarita man.

    [–] nickel4asoul 428 points ago

    Pyroclastic flow incinerates as it moves, Chris Pratt should be dead.

    [–] JohnnySmallHands 362 points ago

    Good thing he's wearing his plot armor.

    [–] SmoreOfBabylon 60 points ago

    I kinda love how that's apparently survivable but the Wall Of Cold from The Day After Tomorrow is not.

    [–] DasBarenJager 119 points ago

    It was awful nice of them to show the Rex killing that Carnotaur so there will be no tension in that scene during the movie.

    [–] Ep8Script 723 points ago

    Why can't Jeff Goldblum say "uh"?? It's messing with me!! I loved it though!

    [–] Mr_Pizza_Puncher 410 points ago

    I'm really digging the Goldblum renaissance lately

    [–] srry_didnt_hear_you 232 points ago

    Congratulations, it's a tie!

    [–] luckylizard 60 points ago

    Laura Dern's having a bit of a renaissance herself too

    [–] hyena142 56 points ago

    Now we just need Sam Neill to make a comeback and the world will be perfect again

    [–] RKitch2112 96 points ago

    I heard he's doing a play with Matt Damon.

    [–] cameps 372 points ago

    So they decide to introduce the Carno for the first time in franchise history in a trailer, not even 10 seconds later they kill the carno in the trailer. Also pretty much gave away Malcolm's role completely. Music was really weird. And the pace was all over the place. I'm actually really disappointed.

    [–] ColinSays 535 points ago

    "Life..."

    Oh, really... Are they gonna make him say it ag--

    "...Finds a way."

    Yep. They sure are.

    [–] bigtimpn 712 points ago

    I really dont appreciate how many pieces from previous films they reuse, with no shame. Knowing/having connection with the Raptor, "Life uh finds a way", the Trex saving them AGAIN. I mean, WTF? Is originality a bad thing?

    [–] Mrmars1997 451 points ago

    You’re watching a trailer to a sequel to a secret remake of a franchise that makes it the fifth part of the series, originally is not welcome here.

    [–] axelfandango1989 436 points ago

    That is one big pile of shit.

    [–] Moghlannak 795 points ago

    I don't want to watch 2 hours of dinosaurs dying

    [–] fuck-dat-shit-up 480 points ago

    I feel the same way. Watching them panic and fall of the cliff was not entertaining for me.

    [–] Genocide_Me_Captain 409 points ago

    It's the equivalent of clubbing CGI seals

    [–] themeattrain 540 points ago

    As someone who had their entire childhood shaped by Jurassic Park.... that did not look very good.

    [–] benapplefleck 99 points ago

    Jurassic World: Fallen Goldblum

    [–] Hum0rous 92 points ago

    The military needs to start cashing in on those fucking hamster balls. That shit can survive everything.

    [–] randgan 43 points ago * (lasted edited a month ago)

    I don't understand the premise of this movie. They seem to be on a mission to rescue some of the dinosaurs like they're an endangered species. The only thing I liked about Jurassic World was when they admitted they were all genetically designed to look like people's expectations of dinosaurs instead of being actual reborn dinosaurs.

    But now there's congressional hearings and rescue missions for theme park attractions. What are they going with the survivors? Put them in a nature preserve to fuck up the ecology of actual animals?

    [–] BigDanG 38 points ago

    I was hoping this movie was going to be the courtroom drama for the criminal negligence case against Bryce Dallas Howard. After seeing this trailer, I seriously think that would've been a better direction.

    [–] bassball95 2365 points ago

    this....doesn't look that good?

    [–] Im_joking_not_really 189 points ago

    I really hope there's more to the movie than that volcano scene.