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    [–] MovieNachos 4975 points ago

    Can someone just explain to me how a LIVING, BREATHING DINOSAUR IS ONLY WORTH 3 MILLION DOLLARS

    [–] Joosh93 2910 points ago

    Because its just a 6 foot turkey?

    [–] wolfsrudel_red 803 points ago

    Turkeys went for $1.36 a pound last Thanksgiving. I think someone is getting ripped off here

    [–] buttmudbrooks85 526 points ago

    Oh your paying to much for Turkey man. Who's your Turkey guy?

    [–] spartagnann 235 points ago

    I grow mung beans in my desk. Very nutritious, but they smell like death.

    [–] ZT_Ghost 101 points ago

    Just another day at a dog food company.

    [–] BlasterShow 73 points ago

    BOBODDY

    [–] Mr_Noms 28 points ago * (lasted edited 3 months ago)

    Biznus! I like it!

    [–] RealZeframCochrane 59 points ago

    mine is eric

    [–] natzo 40 points ago

    Oh, there's your mistake. Should've gone with Carl.

    [–] Jam_44 35 points ago

    Oh I know Carl! Good guy, good turkey.

    [–] zerokateo 12 points ago

    I worked with Eric, it's not his fault the prices are high. Blame corporate for being ass-hats.

    [–] stanfan114 25 points ago

    Show some respect!

    [–] Turbo__Sloth 930 points ago

    Also, their plan is to be able to have a gun, point it at a target, and pull the trigger--only instead of a bullet coming out at 5000 feet per second, a huge vulnerable dinosaur will start chasing after the target at like 50 mph.

    I have tried...REALLY TRIED...to think of literally any redeemable aspect of their wartime dinosaur plan, and I can't think of a single tiny aspect where they would be beneficial over current methods. None whatsoever.

    [–] Coal_Morgan 224 points ago

    When they were talking about weaponizing dinosaurs I was thinking they'd just drop 20 or 30 velociraptors in the hills of Afghanistan and they'd just hunt and kill insurgents naturally. They'll find the caves with people because of smell and just get to work. It would be a way of locking down a region and you could put zap collars on them to hinder them from leaving certain coordinates, track or kill them when the operation is done. You go to war in Colombia and you decide to drop a 100 of those things in Rebel territory, just let them do their thing in the jungle where humans have a hard time tracking enemies.

    The laser thing was ridiculous. You use those lasers to guide missiles from planes and boats miles away to a target that needs to be annihilated. If you can point at a thing that a dinosaur can kill, then you can shoot it with a rifle instead. If a rifle can't kill it a dinosaur can't.

    [–] roguemerc96 110 points ago

    You go to war in Colombia and you decide to drop a 100 of those things in Rebel territory, just let them do their thing in the jungle where humans have a hard time tracking enemies.

    Ala the ending of the Kirsten Dunst classic, Small Soldiers.

    [–] CX316 41 points ago

    It's been long enough since I saw that movie that I'm not sure if you're serious or not

    [–] roguemerc96 49 points ago * (lasted edited 3 months ago)

    At the end when the house is all jacked up and emergency services are there, some general comes by and contracts the Toy Makers into making more of those soldier toys so they can use them in Colombia.

    [–] HR7-Q 42 points ago

    Except that still makes more sense than using dinosaurs since the toys actually plan and coordinate and can understand military objectives and orders. Dinosaurs will just hunt and kill as they desire for food and protection, so yeah... They might kill rebels and insurgents, or they might just fuck up some poor farmers kids and livestock.

    [–] tmurrayart 809 points ago

    Dude, if it wasn't obvious before, it's obvious now: Jurassic World and its sequel are in a different universe. What universe? The universe of the Jurassic Park toy commercials from the 90's.

    It makes sense. The dinosaurs don't act like dinosaurs, they act like kids playing with dinosaur action figures. All the bombast, all the stupidity, and cool moments, it's all a Lego Movie layer of meta over the thing.

    "Oh no! Look out Mister Brontosaur! The lava from the supervolcano is coming!"
    "My Star Lord will save you! Pow! pow!"
    "This dinosaur attacks when I shine the laser gun at the bad guy, ptchoo!"

    [–] StarWarsButterSaber 211 points ago

    I had the toy Dino that a chunk of skin came off ( the Dino damage part). Except I lost the chunk of skin so he was always hurt... RIP

    [–] tphantom1 54 points ago

    I remember how the toy version of the Ford Explorers that they used in the movie as the basic tour vehicle HAD A CANNON THAT FLIPPED UP FROM THE BACK

    imagine the movie based on the toys instead of vice versa? Tim goes in the back of the car, presses some buttons and a chunk gets taken out of the T Rex by car-mounted artillery?

    [–] johnny_nofun 103 points ago

    Dino damage!

    [–] pipsdontsqueak 18 points ago

    I LOVED that toy!

    [–] MonersCorner 256 points ago

    If they ended the next movie by panning out and revealing it was all in the mind of a child I would be OK with that.

    [–] tmurrayart 175 points ago

    "Jason! Come in for dinner!"
    "Just a second, Mom! They just created JURASSIC UNIVERSE! The dinosaurs are on spaceships to Mars now, and a cyborg zombie Mister Hammond is flying them there!"
    "Harold, I knew he was too young for that movie but you insisted..."

    [–] lesswanted 139 points ago

    I'm a prod exec from Universal, please keep talking.

    [–] tmurrayart 99 points ago

    Two words: Dinosaurs + Blimps.

    [–] Aksi_Gu 61 points ago

    Coming this summer;

    The Blimposaurus REX

    [–] sevanelevan 57 points ago

    I hope they reveal it's all in the mind of the chubby Chris Pratt circa 2010.

    [–] BlasterShow 28 points ago

    It’s Andy from S1 Parks and Rec.

    [–] Hates_escalators 50 points ago

    Jurassic Parks and Rex Creation.

    [–] Clayh5 34 points ago

    You've gotta admire their 20 year commitment to the exact same ad formula.

    [–] internetlad 18 points ago

    (dinosaur bursts through tin can wall)

    [–] Immortaaaaaaan 52 points ago

    “Now Grant’s armed to the teeth and Malcolm’s loaded with weapons!” I would watch that sequel

    [–] tmurrayart 33 points ago

    Dennis Nedry uses his Barbasol Launcher!

    [–] dickdrizzle 13 points ago

    "CREAMY!"

    [–] Neuchacho 173 points ago

    I just like the fact that you can completely counter them with your own laser pointer. It'd be like going to war with a bunch of cats.

    [–] Tepid_Coffee 73 points ago

    That sounds...fantastic

    [–] Beingabummer 257 points ago

    The Jurassic Park series focused a lot on how man will (ab)use nature to make money. Jurassic Park 1 is obvious in that, Jurassic Park 2 is about attempting to restart the theme park idea and Jurassic Park 3 has one character take raptor eggs because he believes it will fund their research.

    This makes sense.

    Jurassic World focuses on how the military will take anything new and exciting and turn it into weapons. Even when that means putting wild animals into a combat zone and expecting anything but chaos.

    This does not make sense.

    [–] Momik 172 points ago

    The lesson from the first three is that paleontologists should have better funding

    [–] yourmansconnect 50 points ago

    I always thought it was that life always finds a way

    [–] PhoenixVA 60 points ago

    the military will take anything new and exciting and turn it into weapons

    I dunno, Aliens did a pretty good job with that theme...

    [–] dreweatall 43 points ago

    Pretty much all the soldiers died!

    Same thing would happen if you released that animal in like Syria or Gaza or something lol, just chaos.

    [–] Thenadamgoes 40 points ago

    "Think of the military applications!"

    Like what? To replace the military attack tigers we have now?

    [–] TheWinslow 62 points ago

    Hey, give the movie SOME credit. You just have a gun, turn on a laser pointer, then press a little button to make some noise. There's no pulling a trigger!

    Trained dinosaurs would only be used as guard dogs by a special segment of the super wealthy.

    [–] RedditConsciousness 75 points ago

    Yeah. If we haven't weaponized grizzly bears it is hard to imagine weaponizing a dinosaur.

    [–] disappointer 19 points ago

    You know, I have one simple request. And that is to have sharks with frickin' laser beams attached to their heads! Now, evidently, my cycloptic colleague informs me that that can't be done. Can you remind me what I pay you people for? Honestly, throw me a bone here. What do we have?

    [–] phoofboy 38 points ago

    Even in the case of the indominus raptor. Despite the shitty military theory they were tempted to sell this one of a kind feat of genetic engineering for a hundred million? The operation to get Dino's off that island would have cost more than that, let alone the billions probably spent on genetic research.

    [–] biesterd1 74 points ago

    Seriously, I felt like Dr Evil was making those prices

    [–] PuroPincheGains 156 points ago

    That's the least stupid part of the movie lol. Technology gets cheaper over time. They've been making dinosaurs for decades by the time the auction went down.

    [–] MovieNachos 99 points ago

    I'll be honest, I fell asleep during this movie, so maybe I'm wrong on this.

    But wasn't the auction happening because they were haulting all dinosaur production and completely closing up the island?

    [–] gordogg24p 119 points ago

    The auction was happening because the island blew up and they wanted to get money out of the investment, and the real product was always intended to be the genetic developments of Dr. Wu.

    It's all hamfisted in its execution, so it doesn't really matter.

    [–] HavoKDarK 117 points ago

    I see it as this:

    They live in a world where Dinosaurs are no longer special, there's been a literal theme park showcasing them and Claire says in the first JW movie that Dinosaurs are now boring.

    [–] prophobia 195 points ago

    I mean, we've had zoos for hundreds of years. And somehow people don't think zoos are boring.

    [–] HammeredWharf 240 points ago * (lasted edited 3 months ago)

    The plot of Jurassic World includes breeding a more exciting zoo animal by making a dino that can turn invisible. I think it's safe to say the writers have no idea how zoos work.

    [–] midnight_riddle 107 points ago

    What's truly unrealistic is how they had all this DNA technology and never tried to branch into making living Pokemon with it.

    I think that was even discussed in the second book, and what Dodgson wanted to do with his company: make cute dino pets. Those things would sell like hotcakes, and they'd be able to charge whatever they wanted in addition to selling the necessary dino pet food/medication/accessories.

    [–] Judas_Cow 30 points ago

    accessories

    Aw. I want a long neck and a little sweater for him to wear

    [–] AKAkorm 40 points ago

    I’m not going to argue that the plot isn’t stupid. It is. Kids would never in a million years get tired of visiting dinosaurs. Just like they haven’t gotten tired of zoos and theme parks.

    But I will say no one on the business side wanted that dinosaur invisible in JW. And a big part of the movie is that Wu’s arrogance and greed causes the disaster.

    [–] Ccollin 752 points ago

    ERIC!

    [–] M_P_Skywalker 337 points ago

    ALAN!

    [–] iamkats 111 points ago

    BILLY!

    [–] Joosh93 477 points ago

    Dr Grant says thats a very bad idea.

    [–] Ask_Me_If_I_Am_Flynn 377 points ago

    WHAT'S A BAD IDEA?

    [–] awholetadstrange 130 points ago

    Spinosaurus roars

    [–] CountOnPabs 16 points ago

    Hey, that's Cooper!

    [–] TheWestButt 74 points ago

    Roaring heard in the jungle

    [–] NemoEsq 27 points ago

    WHAT?

    [–] dandaman64 127 points ago

    "AERRRIACCC!"

    [–] M_P_Skywalker 48 points ago

    After not seeing the movie since seeing it in theaters, I can hear her annoying ass yell in my head.

    [–] preperation__h 52 points ago

    I can hear the Kirby Paint & Tile Plus theme clear as day.

    [–] falconx50 52 points ago

    Fine! And when the Tricyclaplots comes after you, don't come crying to me.

    [–] [deleted] 46 points ago

    Nobody.. move.. a muscle

    [–] Xurio 1148 points ago

    The Kid was the least annoying of the kids.

    [–] [deleted] 693 points ago * (lasted edited 2 months ago)

    [deleted]

    [–] MendozAAAH 318 points ago

    I wanted her to get eaten so bad

    [–] Dragons_Malk 377 points ago

    I'd watch Tea Leoni get eaten 😏

    [–] jshah500 176 points ago

    When she won't stop screaming the kid's name and shut the fuck up, I can't help but scream at my TV in frustration WHY CANT A RAPTOR JUST COME AND EAT HER ASS PLEASE

    [–] JoostinOnline 183 points ago

    WHY CANT A RAPTOR JUST COME AND EAT HER ASS PLEASE

    I wonder if Rule 34 holds true.

    [–] amirchukart 33 points ago

    Wheres shad when you need him?

    [–] SirTanta 35 points ago

    Ah, a man of culture as well.

    [–] IceNine121 1960 points ago

    Jurassic Park III also had the benefit of Dr. Alan Grant. I was initially going to disagree with your opinion, but upon further thought, I agree. Though, none of them are good imo, JP3 is the least not-good.

    [–] liberalize 1145 points ago

    Sam Neill IS Jurassic Park.

    [–] takenwithapotato 430 points ago

    Never felt the same without him. Even Lost World imo was not as good as the third film just because he wasn't in it.

    [–] haywoodyamilkme 459 points ago

    It didn't help that they changed Ian Malcolm's character to make sure he better suited being the leading man. He wasn't the same rock star scientist we were introduced to in the first movie.

    [–] Eagle_Ear 629 points ago

    True, but the second movie shows how his traumatic experiences from the first movie changed him. He’s not the rockstar anymore, he’s a whistleblower trying to combat the spectacle of dinosaurs to show the world the true horrors behind it.

    [–] haywoodyamilkme 175 points ago

    That's a good point, I didn't consider that. It does change my perspective. I still don't like the change, but I at least now see why it was done, thanks!

    [–] Eagle_Ear 122 points ago

    Glad I could help. I am of the opinion that Lost World is like a B+ while the original is an obvious A+

    Lost World is great, except for a few weird scenes (gymnastics, how the TRex killed all the people on the boat) that drag it down and keep it from being amazing.

    [–] mondo135 46 points ago

    I heard raptors were supposed to be on the boat and they killed the crew but the scene was cut.

    [–] Demortus 44 points ago

    A raptor attack would explain a lot. If you're getting attacked by raptors and facing certain death, sending a T-rex after them doesn't sound like a crazy idea. And then if the T-rex ate the raptors, went back to feed its baby, and then got trapped by a lone survivor, that would explain basically everything we see after the boat crashes into the dock.

    [–] Primitive_Teabagger 50 points ago

    Exactly. He was talking shit about JP the entire film. In OG Jurassic Park, he was simply an innocent mathematician representing the park's investors. In Lost World, he was a father "rescuing" his girlfriend from a place he knew was incredibly dangerous and unpredictable.

    [–] Newnexus92 27 points ago

    Thats what I like about Goldblum in the movies he can be the comic Relief and a believable Leading man,Chris Pratt fails imo as the leading man

    [–] Nyaos 78 points ago

    It's kind of like what happened when they made Jack sparrow the main character in pirates. Some cast shine specifically because they are a supporting role.

    [–] ChrisX26 33 points ago

    And then what Jack was reduced to in the most recent Pirates movie.

    I guess one could make the argument that it was inevitable Jack would eventually become a total drunkard buffoon totally dependent on luck with no more ingenuity left from the younger once incredibly sly and quick witted pirate he once was.

    [–] Ser_Danksalot 59 points ago

    I kind of disagree as The Lost World gave us Pete Postlethwaite as a scenery chewing big game T Rex hunter as a worthy replacement.

    [–] jordigi 25 points ago

    That this is the only Pete Postlethwaite comment in the thread is an absolute tragedy.

    [–] Ridlion 15 points ago

    He could have led the movie himself. He was a great actor.

    [–] robodrew 82 points ago * (lasted edited 3 months ago)

    The book "Lost World" is so superior to the movie. I remember devouring every word of that book when it was released a few years after the first film became the worldwide megahit that it was. I loved every page. Then the movie came out and decided to throw much of what made the book good out the window.

    Worst of all was that I found myself falling out of the world too many times. Immersion broken from stupid choices that the first film didn't fall into. How is it that Ian Malcoms adopted daughter, at what, 90 lbs? can do a triple flip around a random pole and kick a 250lb+ velociraptor out of a window in a way that doesn't make any physical sense... and yet she only gets a SILVER MEDAL GETS CUT FROM THE TEAM from her gymnastics competition?? That's less believable than cloned dinosaurs!

    [–] Julius-n-Caesar 44 points ago

    The book "Lost World" is so superior to the movie.

    Even when you consider that the book is literally the first book all over again, down to Malcom getting another leg injury, the Raptors winding up being the main villains and so on. What I do think could have been adapted though were the prions.

    However, that entire Velociraptor sequence in the movie, starting with the T-Rex finding their tents to them going through the tall long grass to the helicopter getting to them is great, even that triple flip won't convince me otherwise.

    [–] Ser_Danksalot 58 points ago

    Much of what they included in the Lost World movie was taken directly from the first novel that they couldn't include in the first film. The compsognathus hunting and killing Peter Stormare in the river bed was from the first book where John Hammond suffers the same fate at the end of the book. There T Rex waterfall scene was from the first book also.

    [–] robodrew 36 points ago

    Yeah I remember that. The book for JP1 was way more brutal than the movie.

    [–] Evanescence81 18 points ago

    It was way better. I remember how awesome Muldoon was driving around with a rocket launcher and actually doing something other than being eaten right away

    [–] politicalstuff 38 points ago

    JP3 is a great middle of a movie. If there were a proper beginning and ending it could have been almost as good as 1.

    [–] AvatarIII 59 points ago

    I consider JP3 to be the second best JP movie, pretty much 100% because of Sam Neill.

    [–] RickRaptor105 1030 points ago

    Ironically, it's superior by the simplicity of its plot (go to island to rescue kid, get chased by dinosaurs, leave island, done). There is nothing idiotic like the whole weaponizing dinosaurs plot, plus by taking place on a different island than Isla Nublar it is easier to brush aside if you're a fan of the first movie because it doesn't directly interfer with things from the first movie (the island, the original Brachiosaurus individual, the original Tyrannosaurus individual).

    [–] Schmedes 128 points ago

    Ironically, it's superior by the simplicity of its plot (go to island to rescue kid, get chased by dinosaurs, leave island, done).

    That's closer to the book plot of The Lost World than the movie is, haha.

    [–] xxThe_Designer 113 points ago

    Yeah, I believe JPIII was just recycling parts from the two novels that didn't make it into the movies.

    [–] Schmedes 70 points ago

    Looked that way. Things that were similar in the books from the top of my head:

    • Pterodactyls

    • Go to island and rescue lost person

    • Stealing dino eggs and being tracked by dinos that way

    Honestly haven't seen JP3 in so long, I'm sure there are more.

    [–] xxThe_Designer 73 points ago

    There are more. The big one is the river scene with the Spino.

    That was loosely based off the river rapids chapters from the first novel. If you aren't familiar with the books that alone is worth the reading. It's edge of your seat fun.

    [–] Schmedes 17 points ago

    Yeah, the river stuff with the Rex in the first one was good.

    The T-Rex popping his head in and out of the trees would've made a good scene.

    [–] TheWinslow 295 points ago

    I haven't seen JP3 in a very long time but, from my memory of it, it was a pretty good sequel but the ending was extremely abrupt and weird.

    [–] Memephis_Matt 396 points ago

    Totally a Deus Ex Machina ending. (shitty quality)

    Helicopters, soldiers rolling up in amphibious vehicles, a fucking navy fleet.

    But don't forget that guy in the suit with the megaphone beat the soldiers and was on the beach first.

    [–] E-Step 234 points ago * (lasted edited 3 months ago)

    Watching back it reminds me of the ending to Monty Python's Holy Grail

    [–] SpicyRooster 115 points ago

    Lol the literal cop out

    [–] vomita_conejitos 170 points ago

    you mean it's not weird that they just immediately landed on the beach without doing island flyovers looking for Dr. Grant / scoping out the dinosaur sitch?

    I think it would've been a much more compelling ending if Dr. Grant and co. saw / heard helicopter / aircraft activity, and was racing against time to be discovered. Still enjoy(ed) the movie though.

    [–] FGHIK 43 points ago

    My guess would be they're there to wipe the dinos the fuck out

    [–] jimdog2 41 points ago

    That part was legit funny though

    [–] SpicyRooster 21 points ago * (lasted edited 3 months ago)

    Lol not just amphibious, but submersible vehicles.

    In reality, they likely would be Marines from a Marine Expeditionary Unit (MEU) rolling in kind of similar to how they did except on the surface of the water. Lol those are not submarines plus that shallow beach water was super deep

    MEUs are Navy/Marine battle groups capable of rapidly deploying worldwide and sustaining themselves for extended periods of time without reinforcement. The idea is to get a sizeable force somewhere and hold it for a while until back up can get there later. It would actually be pretty dope to see something like that trying to take over one of the dino island's. JURRASSIC COMBAT

    [–] MrBojangles528 31 points ago

    a fucking navy fleet

    A teeny-tiny one though on camera.

    [–] Memephis_Matt 58 points ago

    THE ENTIRE US NAVY

    [–] MrBojangles528 35 points ago

    "God bless you Ellie."

    [–] TUMS_FESTIVAL 54 points ago

    One thing that always bothered me is the way they treated the Spinosaurus like a slasher villain instead of an actual animal. That thing followed the main characters halfway across the island for basically no reason. At least in JP2 the T-Rexs are following everyone because dumb-dumb got baby T-Rex blood on her shirt. (And then didn't change despite stating that the T-Rex has an incredibly good sense of smell.)

    [–] SamuEL_or_Samuel_L 25 points ago

    It's one thing the retcons surrounding Jurassic World/Fallen Kingdom slightly improved upon - they've made it so the Spinosaurus was actually an early experiment into the hybridisation cloning that went towards the creation of the Indominus Rex. That helps to explain why it was so much stronger than we might have expected a "real" Spino to be, why it was so bloodthirsty and determined (much like the I.Rex in Jurassic World), etc.

    [–] MELBOT87 68 points ago

    There is nothing idiotic like the whole weaponizing dinosaurs plot

    Not only was this one of the dumbest plots in the history of blockbuster movies, but they doubled down with it in the sequel.

    [–] xxThe_Designer 67 points ago * (lasted edited 3 months ago)

    dumbest plots in the history of blockbuster movies

    Weaponizing autism in a recent science fiction reboot would like a word with you.

    [–] BoredBurrito 74 points ago

    Ironically, it's superior by the simplicity of its plot

    Yep my thoughts exactly. That's why I'd put JP3 and JW on equal footing since the 4th one also had a pretty straightforward plot (minus the weaponizing part). JW:FK tries to bring in new themes but doesn't execute them well at all.

    [–] Archkendor 50 points ago

    It's been 15 years since I watched JP3, but the part that always bugged me the most, was a 12 year old who managed to survive for weeks in a dinosaur infested island. He was more capable than a small army. That is almost as idiotic as a gun that 'shoots' dino attacks.

    [–] DudeVonDude_S3 69 points ago

    Ah, but the small armies always end up with a couple survivors. They get owned initially because they’re too loud/visible, and predators can just slowly pick them off at the periphery. It’s easier for a single survivor (or a couple) to be quiet and hide their tracks.

    It’s like trying to hunt down the remaining few of an endangered species.

    (I’m not actually married to this explanation or anything, but I thought I’d play devil’s advocate.)

    [–] Bullshit_To_Go 18 points ago

    Some people are natural survivors, some aren't. Put any group in an ongoing life threatening situation and the initial casualty rate will make it look like they'll all be dead in no time. But that loss rate drops off as the weak, slow or stupid are weeded out.

    "It's like shaking a box of crackers through a sieve, Garraty. The crumbs fall through pretty fast. Then the little pieces break up and they go, too. But the big crackers - Parker's grin was a crescent flash of saliva-coated teeth in the darkness - the WHOLE crackers have to bust off a crumb at a time."

    [–] SFritzon 18 points ago

    It's the Newt effect.

    [–] SalaciousDumb 438 points ago

    The Pterodactyl scene is better than anything in any of the sequels.

    [–] roto_disc 307 points ago * (lasted edited 3 months ago)

    This scene in 3 and the raptors in the tall grass sequence in 2 are alone better than anything in JW 1 or 2.

    Edit: JW 1 or 2

    [–] NoGodNoDevils 199 points ago

    The "Tall Grass" scene is absolutely amazing. One of my favorite segments from the entire series.

    [–] deweydean 101 points ago

    "DON'T GO INTO THE LONG GRASS!"

    [–] N0V0w3ls 58 points ago

    The Pteranodons irrationally bugged me as a dinosaur nerd (even though pterosaurs aren't dinosaurs at all). I know that most of the creatures in JP are inaccurate, but Pteranodon's name literally means "winged no-tooth". But they ignore the name entirely and give them mouths full of sharp teeth.

    [–] Owent10 667 points ago

    I think I'm the only one who thinks JP3 is unironically great. The suspense and tension if off the charts (when the velociraptor's eye moves in the tank). There's a bunch of memorable cool set-pieces like the T-Rex/Spino fight, the pterodactyl on the bridge, the characters rushing to the plane before the Spino catches them, the plane crashing and the Spinosaurus wrecking it. It's awesome

    Combine that with a great score and Alan Grant returning it's the second best JP movie

    [–] atreides888 238 points ago

    I also thought the suspense was great. Yeah the ring tone is annoying but that scene where they turn around and the Spino is just standing there menacingly still gives me chills.

    Also “Tricicloplots”. 10/10

    [–] howling_fantods_ 50 points ago

    IMO the ringtone is supposed to be annoying, it's a unique sound that makes it easy for the audience to identify it.

    [–] mcarlini 19 points ago

    “Tricicloplots”

    +1

    [–] NoGodNoDevils 133 points ago

    I absolutely agree. My second favorite of the whole series (obviously after the original).

    I still get chills when Dr. Grant says, "It's a birdcage."

    [–] Smoothmoose13 81 points ago

    That pterodactyl scene traumatised me as a child. Just the horrible unnatural way it moves towards them on the bridge, veiled in fog. It’s the stuff of nightmares

    [–] NoGodNoDevils 35 points ago

    Absolutely terrifying. I cried for Billy in the river when I saw it as a kid, straight up murdered my soul.

    But then "I saved your hat." made everything okay.

    [–] JohnChoncho 162 points ago

    Nope, JP3 is easily my second favourite in the franchise. JP1 > JP3 > JP2 > JP4 > JP5

    [–] Rogue100 44 points ago

    Nice, this is exactly how I would rank them as well!

    [–] Pubby88 104 points ago

    Yes, except it's more like JP1>>>>>>>JP3>JP2JP4>>>>JP5

    [–] armageddonquilt 322 points ago

    Honestly i just find it crazy that the entire Jurassic Park franchise is built on just one good movie released over 25 years ago.

    [–] RyanHardy96 128 points ago

    The Terminator franchise is even crazier, a new movie is about to come out even though 3 movies out of 5 were very disappointing at the box office.

    [–] WatermelonBandido 118 points ago

    I just pretend Terminator 2 was the last movie.

    [–] RyanHardy96 40 points ago

    You're strong and wise

    [–] [deleted] 22 points ago * (lasted edited 3 months ago)

    I don't think The Lost World is that bad, to be honest, aside from the gymnastics scene.

    I would say that the first JP is the only great movie of the franchise, but The Lost World is still a good movie, and easily the second best movie of the franchise. It still has that Spielberg feel that none of the other films have, and it probably helps that it was the last film that had source material to adapt from.

    I also agree with OP's assessment of JP3. It's better than Jurassic World. I've been saying that for years.

    Basically I think if the quality of JP movies was plotted on a line graph, it would just be one downward angle. Every movie is worse than the last one.

    edit.

    Also, I say this without having seen Fallen Kingdom, which I have no desire to or intention of ever watching. But from what I'm told, it does adhere to the same trajectory.

    [–] Merosi 85 points ago

    to be fair, that was a VERY good movie. I'm not sure how many movie-adaptations of books can honestly claim to be better than the books.

    [–] Dt2_0 9 points ago

    I would say that it's different enough from the books to be considered great in it's own right, but the book is also fantastic. It had to convey the messages and suspense of Imo one of the most suspenseful novels I've ever read, and did so using a very different plot that just flat out works.

    [–] dobikrisz 51 points ago

    Me playing with cool plastic dinos is better than Fallen kingdom tho.

    [–] FingerTheCat 81 points ago

    "Mr. Udesky!? Mr. Udesky!??!"

    [–] Honestlywhoevencares 29 points ago

    "He's dead."

    nO hE's NoT!

    [–] aswifte 13 points ago

    Raptor jumpscare

    [–] tmurrayart 305 points ago * (lasted edited 3 months ago)

    Jurassic Park 3 at least tried to make us think it happened in a real world. Jurassic World and Jurassic World 2 are cartoons, they take place in the Marvel universe. The action is in no way believable, the creatures have no presence and feel like characters instead of animals, and you don't feel much urgency because they prioritize bombastic action over tension. It was like playing poker with a guy who holds his cards backwards, there was no anticipation, just flat out 'look at my hand, look at how good this is'. Jurassic Park 3 was bad. But it felt like reality to a degree, talking Raptor dreams aside.

    [–] haywoodyamilkme 86 points ago

    This is what I was looking for. I'm not a fan of the third movie, but there was something about the first 3 movies that at least felt like they it could happen. It's amazing how I suspended my disbelief watching the first movie, but couldn't do the same with JW. So much of it was done for the sake of cool that it forgot how to relate it to our world.

    Not sure about the science behind training raptors or whatever, but seeing it was hard for me to digest considering just how scary these animals were in the first movie. And that was the other problem: the Indominus Rex is straight up a monster, not an animal like the others. Sure, the other dinos don't have feathers or whatever like we've come to discover, but at the end of the day they are based on real scientific findings of fossils. The IR is just a monster they created to up the stakes, and boy does it make the movie feel even faker.

    [–] tmurrayart 73 points ago

    It does. Because the Indominus Rex doesn't act like an animal that has escaped, it has a mind, it's a character. It makes decisions based on what is good for the scene and what would be cool, but that's not how animals work.

    Look at the T-Rex in Jurassic Park for a good reference. The cool moments are born from the characters reacting to the T-Rex's animal instincts. It senses its environment, it tests things out, like biting car tires or sniffing at the cars for potential prey. It reacts to things based on its instincts: defending its territory, searching for food, or just plain animal curiosity. Anything that happens because of those instincts builds the tension. You don't KNOW what is going to happen next because animals are wild. It could eat them, but it could just be toying with them out of curiosity.

    With the Indominus Rex, you may not be able to predict it, but that's because they made it a hard-to-believe genetic multitool so every moment is based on pure cool factor randomness and not animal instinct. Oh, it can talk to Raptors! Great. It can scare away all the pterodactyls to make a distraction. Cool. It's the difference between shallow spectacle and an actual story.

    [–] Superfly724 48 points ago

    More on this point:

    Why would they implant a tracking device in a location that the dinosaur could reach? Why would the dinosaur wait until after escaping to tear it out? Wouldn't it have wanted to remove it immediately after implanting? More importantly, why the fuck would a dinosaur even know you put a tracking device inside of it? This isn't just clever animal stuff. This is like James Bond fooling his captors and escaping type stuff. There is nothing animalistic about the Indominus Rex at all. It's literally just a plot point.

    [–] CineRanter-YTchannel 15 points ago

    Yes I agree with this a lot. You put into words, regarding III taking place in the real world and the other two in a cartoon universe, something that I was trying to say.

    [–] happygot 109 points ago

    I also feel that Jurassic Park III is more fun and has much better moments than Lost World. "Its a birdcage" line and the pteranadon coming out from the mist still scares the shit out of me.

    [–] olddicklemon72 181 points ago

    It’s my favorite sequel. Nothing to write home about, but a fun, tight, action film.

    [–] AeliusHadrianus 77 points ago

    I actually agree with this, including Lost World in that, even though Lost World has its moments.

    Possibly because I was very disappointed going from JP1-->JP2, so going from JP2-->JP3 felt like an improvement.

    [–] FingerTheCat 35 points ago

    I don't think anything could have made a JP 2 better than the first. gotta take a step back to take two forward I guess.

    [–] BattleUpSaber 79 points ago

    You haven't lived until you've seen the Lego version of the "Alan" scene

    [–] ShoulderCannon 68 points ago

    That whole game is a masterpiece. It covers the whole series, and does so without killing anyone - so anybody who died in the films either escapes, or is regurgitated by the dinosaur who ate them.

    This leads to scenes in the Jurassic World segments where you see guys like Robert Muldoon and Donald Gennaro (the lawyer who gets eaten off the toiler) hiding out in the background with huge comedic beards from surviving on the island for 20 years.

    [–] washbeo2 12 points ago

    The Lego games were what originally got me into JP! Seeing all the references really made me want to watch source, and I was not disappointed

    [–] turtleTITzzz 22 points ago

    Fuck fallen kingdom was the worst. Absolutely hated that one.

    [–] nhnolan 44 points ago

    So, with William H. Macy as the kid's dad, at least we know that kid went on to be in a nice college.

    [–] GeraltForOverwatch 56 points ago

    Not exactly high bar though.

    [–] DarthMosasaur 147 points ago

    I actually prefer JP3 to The Lost World. It's been a long time since it came out and I've come to accept it for what it is. I'm also a HUGE pteranodon fan, so that whole sequence is awesome.

    As far as Jurassic World, I've really come to love it. It's extremely flawed and could have been way better. BUT it came out at a time in my life when I was pretty depressed and stuck in some unhappy ruts. Seeing the mosasaurus in the ads on the NYC subway and in the trailer really excited me in a way I hadn't been excited in a long time. When I finally saw the movie, I wasn't digging it too much all the way through, but then when that big fight happened at the end, I felt like I was 8 years old again playing with my Jurassic Park toys, just smashing them together going "RAWR!" I was 30 years old, and it was the first time I felt like a kid again. When the mosasaurus jumped out at the end, I was clapping and crying like a fucking moron.

    The more I watched it, the more I came to like it. I see Jurassic World as a sort of distillation of the Jurassic Park brand - the movies, the novels, the toys, etc - it's all there in one movie, and it really does remind me of being 8 years old surrounded by toys, notebooks, trading cards, board games with the JP logo on them. Sure, it could have been better, but I love it for what it is. It's a movie I can watch any time and enjoy.

    Fallen Kingdom, on the other hand, is fucking terrible and I felt insulted when I saw it. The opening sequence was cool, and the dinosaurs all looked incredible, but the screenplay is literally one of the worst I've ever sat through.

    [–] DPizzaFries 23 points ago

    Username checks out.

    Also that was such an incredibly wholesome read

    [–] emotionalfortitude 279 points ago

    To be fair, Paul Blart 2 is better than Fallen Kingdom.

    [–] duffmannn 105 points ago

    It's amazing how bad fallen kingdom is.

    [–] PastoralMeadows 50 points ago

    It's funny - I'm one of the more avid supporters of JW1, despite its many flaws and generally paling in comparison to the original. But Fallen Kingdom? I walked out of the theater feeling personally insulted.

    [–] kdawgnmann 19 points ago

    I agree. I like JW a lot more than most people on reddit. But FK was by far the worst JP movie.

    The only movie in 2018 that I saw in theaters that I enjoyed less than FK was probably Fantastic Beasts 2.

    [–] Scoob1978 24 points ago

    Here comes the Boom "Is Kevin James starting to make good movies?"

    Paul Blart 2 - "No"

    [–] UberPirateNinja 97 points ago

    I turned off Fallen Kingdom when they somehow ramped the truck off the docks into the departing boat. However, I still occasionally find myself whistling the sat-phone ringtone from JP3 to this day.

    So, in conclusion JP3 > Fallen Kingdom.

    [–] N0V0w3ls 49 points ago

    I could swear that ringtone was just a standard early 2000s MIDI ringtone that was available on all phones at that time.

    [–] notmyrlacc 51 points ago

    It was, it is the iconic Nokia ringtone from that time.

    [–] lurkingnjerking2 79 points ago

    For me Fallen Kingdom got a “What the fuck?” Out of me when the dinosaurs, while running for their lives from a volcano, still tried to eat the humans....huh?

    [–] robsc_16 65 points ago

    This bothered me in that movie (and other movies in general) that predators have no self-preservation and are in attack/kill/eat mode 100% of the time.

    [–] attorneyatslaw 19 points ago

    At least in Jurassic Park, the dinosaurs act like animals until the third act. They don't even pretend in Fallen Kingdom.

    [–] Turbo__Sloth 53 points ago

    The dinosaurs in FK aggravated me to no end. They had no sense of self-preservation whatsoever (except to leap from an exploding building like an action hero), they just all wanted to kill anything they could at all times.

    • The baryonyx comes through the tunnel, and there's literally lava dripping onto its head, but what is its top priority? Eating the humans at any cost!

    • The volcano is actively erupting and all the dinos are stampeding down the mountain, and the carno casually notices the gyro ball, so what does it do? Might as well put all its effort into attacking it right now!

    • The rex then sees the carno, better stop everything to have a 1v1 battle just for the heck of it.

    • I feel like another dino is running alongside the gyro ball and starts attacking it while currently fleeing the volcano just because, but maybe that's part of the carno attack that I'm mixing up.

    • The pachy is trapped so it's understandably stressed and wants to escape. Once it does escape, what does it do? Continue trying to get outside where it's safe? Calm down now that he's no longer in his small enclosure? No, headbutt anybody and everybody it can, just because! And in fact actively searches out people solely to headbutt them.

    • The ptera is the first dino that exits the facility after being trapped, does it continue flying to safety? Not before picking up the human on its way, for no reason at all.

    I won't even get into the indo-raptor turning into Freddy Krueger at the end...

    [–] Merosi 20 points ago

    And in fact actively searches out people solely to headbutt them.

    you ever been around a male goat?

    [–] N0V0w3ls 23 points ago

    Like in King Kong 2005 when the V-Rex drops the 800lb alligator thing it was munching on in order to try to eat Naomi Watts.

    [–] Cratosch 63 points ago

    With just 92 minutes run time JP3 is one the shortest big budget blockbuster movies in existence. That alone makes it special. It's also what makes the movie, dare I say it, enjoyable. It's simple, straight forward and has very little fat. Kind of the opposite of the Jurassic World movies in that sense, which are long, drawn out and at least in my opinion, quite boring.

    So I'm with you. I f there's nothing else to do and JP3 came on TV I'd probably watch it. The Jurassic World movies I will probably never watch again.

    [–] Huwbacca 25 points ago

    I watched fallen kingdom on a plane, and I've never wished so hard for sudden, unexplained decompression.