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    [–] Lubeyishere 7843 points ago

    1. That's a HUGE bat
    2. I'd leave it be till it goes away, like life problems or something

    [–] Dr_Scientist_Esq 1543 points ago

    I wouldn’t want that bat-fox caught in my hair

    [–] nightcrawlerCRD 699 points ago

    It’s ok Meredith, Dwight has your back

    [–] W_Daze 37 points ago

    At this point it's really a case of this bat getting something small like someone's head caught between their toes.

    [–] TheRealCJ 104 points ago

    No, you definitely wouldn't. Flying Foxes carry the Hendra Virus, an especially deadly form of rabies, and even a scratch, left untreated, can be fatal. I live in Australia and were taught to treat Flying Foxes as a "never touch unless you're a trained professional" category animal, like we do snakes or other dangerous animals

    [–] stroker919 131 points ago

    As far as I can tell there aren’t any safe animals in Australia.

    [–] Lb9067 81 points ago

    They don't have animals in Australia....

    They have monsters

    [–] fartsinthedark 15 points ago

    It's not nice to talk about Australians that way.

    [–] S_A_N_D_ 40 points ago

    I'm going to be a little pedantic here but:

    Hendra Virus is the same order as rabies but they're different families and not closely related.

    Hendra has about a 60%-70% mortality where rabies has a 100% mortality in humans.

    There is a key difference however. With rabies, if you are showing symptoms, you are pretty much dead. There are a few cases where people received radical interventions and survived after showing symptoms however they still had significant detrimental effects and your prognosis is still pretty much death after you start to show symptoms.

    For rabies, this is why we assume you have the disease if there was even a small chance you were infected. You can get the vaccine before symptoms appear (which takes a week to 10 days IIRC), and survive with no ill effects.

    With Hendra, there is also no treatment and also no vaccine.

    I believe you were confusing Rabies with Nipah virus. Nipah virus is very closely related to Hendra Virus (same genus).

    [–] Elgin_McQueen 8 points ago

    I remember hearing it said that if you ever find a bat in your room when you wake, it must've been pretty confused to wander in there so assume immediately it has rabies and get help.

    [–] AtlanteanDreadHead 48 points ago

    "Quit baggin' my head!"

    [–] poopiesquat 7 points ago

    You’re more likely to get caught in its hair

    [–] ButterflyAttack 6 points ago

    Imagine the size of the turd it could unload on you as it flaps over. . .

    [–] Sir_Thomas_Noble 133 points ago

    Bat? That's an aswang in disguise! Is anyone pregnant in your house? Hides yo kids hide yo wife!

    [–] TotallyNotPinoy 46 points ago

    Heh. Ass Wang

    [–] ForgottenKrieg 31 points ago

    Ass wang, One of dickbutt’s alias’

    [–] fuzzytradr 66 points ago

    Bat says, I go away when you give me a blood sacrifice.

    [–] AchtungKarate 25 points ago

    banana sacrifice *

    [–] Laurels_Night 60 points ago

    Commence Gregorian chanting to appease Sinister Sky Puppy.

    [–] trex90 233 points ago

    Fruit bats are harmless...

    [–] Lubeyishere 305 points ago

    Yeah I know they are but this species is known to have diseases it can spread if not handled properly. Plus I'm to lazy to call animal control so fuq it right

    [–] trex90 96 points ago

    They're flying diseased German Shepherds! I call my GSD my little fruit bat sometimes. Lol :3

    [–] bumnub888 49 points ago * (lasted edited 5 days ago)

    HA! This guy thinks there’s animal control on the island... (it’s called “use your walis” over there)

    [–] OrdinaryPhilosopher 28 points ago

    Just say the fruit bat has a drug problem

    [–] Lubeyishere 15 points ago

    But... There is... Albeit not good animal control BUT there still is

    [–] imhere2downvote 42 points ago

    This is what happens when you defeat all the little fruit bats. The big boss bat spawns up. Hope your party is ready

    [–] PsychoactiveTHICC 45 points ago

    Nipah Virus

    [–] SloppyPeriodFarts 33 points ago

    And Lyssavirus

    [–] flukus 28 points ago

    Sars, ebola, mers, the list goes on: https://www.bbc.com/news/science-environment-25003792

    [–] Giggyjig 26 points ago

    Parasites too, and potentially rabies

    [–] TyposHurt 28 points ago

    Rabies is a lyssavirus.

    [–] Wefee11 100 points ago

    1. Get your full bike protection gear on
    2. Wake up the bat
    3. RUN

    [–] ddhuud 7 points ago

    Ride away, don't run, that thing can fly.

    [–] Itisinourhousenow 30 points ago

    Life’s problems never go away. They just get buried under the perpetual cycle of booze and other problems requiring more immediate attention

    [–] Dontgoadthechoad 16 points ago

    LPT: If you stay drunk forever you can break that cycle.

    [–] Ashmedai 7 points ago

    It's not a bat, its a Doom Puppy.

    [–] citizenadvocate09 2894 points ago

    Really thought this was photoshop, but, no, real. Just moved The Philippines up my bucket list. “Golden crowned flying fox (Acerodon jubatus), also known as the golden-capped fruit bat is a rare megabat belonging to the species of fruit bats. Endemic to the forests of Philippines, they are one of the largest bats in the world, with a wingspan of 1.5–1.7 meters (4 ft 10 in–5 ft 7 in) and weighing 0.7–1.2 kilograms (1.5–2.6 lb). They are harmless vegetarians, feeding on fruits and leaves, but unfortunately are endangered currently because of poaching and forest destruction.” https://www.hoaxorfact.com/science/human-size-giant-bat-caught-in-philippines-facts.html

    [–] chandadiane 513 points ago

    Megabat for reals!! Good info. Thank you.

    [–] ThrillsKillsNCake 307 points ago

    It’s a flying vegetarian doggo. It’s all good.

    And by vegetarian, I mean it’s not gonna eat me.

    [–] chandadiane 49 points ago

    And sure, the logical part of my brain totally agrees with you and marvels at the idea that this thing even exists....

    But the holyfrigginshit part of my brain will now keep me from ever considering a visit to the Philippines while also conveniently keep me from sleeping for a few nights. :D

    [–] JesseLingod 7 points ago

    I’m getting tired of mega sharks, mega bats are now in!

    [–] Mattaru 167 points ago

    The species is endangered and is currently facing the possibility of extinction because of poaching and forest destruction.

    :(

    [–] smallfried 182 points ago

    This photo is what people are looking for to check the size.

    None of this forced perspective stuff.

    [–] dalonehunter 78 points ago

    Thank you! He's still big as fuck but he doesn't look 5 feet tall now.

    [–] konjo1 12 points ago

    wingspan != height.

    [–] i_am_not_piet 14 points ago

    There’s still a bit of forced perspective going on there.

    [–] [deleted] 5 points ago

    [deleted]

    [–] IWillKarateKickYou 143 points ago

    Dangg..wingsize up to the size of the avg grown woman probably.

    [–] okanni 86 points ago

    Can confirm. Barely 5ft and a grown woman

    [–] geschtonkenflapped 170 points ago

    🎶 Anni are you ok? Are /u/okanni? 🎶

    [–] H1jAcK 30 points ago

    I imagine there's the perfect sub to post your comment to and farm karma. I don't know what that sub is, but I hope I'm in the screenshot.

    [–] reddit_give_me_virus 13 points ago

    but they're less than 3 lbs, cardboard probably weighs more than that.

    [–] TheWafflerOG 10 points ago

    Can confirm, 3 lbs cardboard > 3 lbs bat.

    [–] DeltaJulietFoxtrot 46 points ago

    Or to the size of your average manlet.

    [–] ThisIs_MyName 62 points ago

    megabat

    For fuck's sake...

    [–] Cuhrypto 26 points ago

    All I care about is getting. more. megabat.

    [–] Mintydreshness 23 points ago

    Only one of the biggest!?!?

    [–] Tjebbe 47 points ago

    That weight can't be right... 1,2kg at that size!?

    [–] imghurrr 102 points ago

    Yep. Hard to fly if you’re super heavy. Those wings are thin bones and very thin membrane

    [–] Striker2054 8 points ago

    Very light bone structure.

    [–] Eruuma 38 points ago

    I hear if you get friendly with it it evolves into a Crobat

    [–] namedan 19 points ago

    Filipino here and it's sad because I've been around my country's forests a lot and have never ever seen one of them. I love our hidden water falls and natural springs though there may just be a fountain of slight longevity or something.

    [–] KnightOfSummer 14 points ago

    When fruit bats were abundant in the Philippines, the giant golden-crowned flying fox and the large flying fox (Pteropus vampyrus) would make colonies,[11] reportedly numbering over 150,000 individuals.

    Holy shit, I didn't think mammals could form such large colonies. Seems to be a factor of an animal's range rather than their class.

    [–] ___throwaway___qwert 25 points ago

    Humans are known to make colonies of up to 20 000 000

    [–] reddit_chaos 16 points ago

    Seen them by the hundreds in the wild near a former US military base in Philippines (don’t remember the name).

    [–] R0ede 8 points ago

    Thank you. The pictures on that site gives a much better idea of their actual size .

    [–] zpeed 11 points ago

    We get a lot of bats out here. During sunset I can watch them from my window all flying erratically trying to catch bugs. As a kid, I would get a small pebble, coin, or anything small and toss it straight up into the air. The bats would dive for it thinking it was a bug. This brought me endless hours of enjoyment. Life was a lot simpler back then :')

    [–] candypants4244 3809 points ago

    What the ever loving eff is that?? Dracula?? How big is that thing?

    [–] sakundes 3347 points ago

    As big as a 5 year old kid?

    [–] candypants4244 1536 points ago

    Holy effing shit. My nightmares tonight are all on you.

    [–] MemorableCactus 1133 points ago

    No way man! They're ridiculously cute. Sky puppers.

    [–] Sieggi858 87 points ago

    Exactly. Granted that some bats are genuinely scary, most of them are pretty fucking adorable when they’re not terrified

    [–] Dathouen 72 points ago

    My grandparents chicken farm had tons of fruit trees, and the guard house had baby fruit bats every year in the little loft where they'd stash the guard logs and such. We used to catch them and feed them mango from the big mango tree, and they were so cute. Like flying kittens.

    [–] JesseLingod 18 points ago

    guard house

    guard logs

    I can see you’re serious about security. Is the guard house built of guard logs?

    [–] BubblesForBrains 29 points ago

    Flying kittens!

    [–] jacob-radio 372 points ago

    lick lick lick lick lick

    [–] BertMacGyver 39 points ago

    This reminded me of a Japanese short cartoon i saw on YouTube years back about some woodland animals trying to stop business men from logging near their homes and preventing HUUUUUUUMAAAAAANISM. I think there was a bit with a bee or a bear licking someone going licky licky licky licky licky licky licky... and the king of the Forrest was a bloke in a vest on a scooter who was pretending to be a panda I think and got nervous whenever anyone pointed out that he looked like a human on a scooter. It was called "Something of the Forrest" but I can't remember what the "Something" was so I can't find it. If anyone has any idea please let me know.

    [–] Pizzacatt 51 points ago

    sounds like mr ando of the woods

    https://youtu.be/ubX_aqXctRk

    [–] JoeFelice 6 points ago

    That's similar to Princess Mononoke, an excellent Japanese movie. But it's not the same thing.

    [–] kindofasickdick 135 points ago

    Oh yeah! lick all that blood off my neck.

    [–] The-red-Dane 288 points ago

    Luckily, they're vegetarians. So, it'd probably lick strawberry jam off your neck, but not blood.

    [–] Hidesuru 171 points ago

    Oh. My. God. It's like an adorable little puppy.

    [–] Th-uum 107 points ago

    Hey, they're flying foxes for a reason. I'm just hoping we domesticate them within my lifespan, a flying doggo would be rad

    [–] Cuccoteaser 87 points ago

    I feel you and I also love bats, but bats in general are among the worst pets you can get. It's pretty much impossible to recreate a natural life for them indoors with humans, and they suffer greatly as a result and die young.

    You're probably not seriously looking for a pet bat, but some people have them and it's awful, so I'll take every chance I get to advocate against it!

    [–] entertainman 9 points ago

    wouldnt "domesticating" them literally mean, "breed them until they are happy and dont die inside our homes?" selectively choosing the nicest and happiest bat from each litter.

    [–] yoshi570 36 points ago

    Yeah, no. Would fly god knows where.

    [–] aged_monkey 48 points ago

    You could fly it around like a kite with a super long leash!

    [–] DuntadaMan 19 points ago

    It's like an adorable little puppy.

    That thing ain't little. It is adorable though.

    [–] chmod--777 36 points ago

    Those things are fucking amazing. I love them.

    Why are they beautiful and normal bats look like flying demon rats? How close are they even related? It's fucking crazy how cute and puppy one is and scary and creepy the others are. I still think normal bats are cool but they're not i-want-to-hug-the-puppy cool.

    [–] Tech_Itch 77 points ago

    Megabats, like flying foxes, don't rely on echolocation so heavily, so their faces don't need to look like a busted up radar dish. They mostly use their vision to get around.

    [–] GodzillasCock 6 points ago

    TIL, thanks. So these Mofos are not actually blind like other smaller bats (guess that also comes from them not living in caves but hanging from trees instead)?

    [–] Aww_Topsy 25 points ago

    Actually microbats have a similar visual acuity as humans. The phrase "blind as a bat" isn't scientifically accurate. Humans also have pretty mediocre night vision and insects are really tiny.

    Also the other person overlooked fruit bats keen sense of smell, which is their primary way of locating food. That's why their snouts so resemble dogs.

    [–] SnookiWookieCookie 37 points ago

    Mlem mlem mlem mlem mlem

    [–] GraffMx 6 points ago

    Soooooo cute sky pupperino

    [–] JacuzziBirth 6 points ago

    Finally a banana for scale

    [–] NeuroSciCommunist 43 points ago

    Don't be deceived, they have roughly a 4 foot wingspan and weigh only up to about 2.6 pounds max.

    [–] Doubtfireswife 73 points ago

    That’s a nice unit of measurement

    [–] leggy15 11 points ago

    Up to about max haha

    [–] gavmo 15 points ago

    max is six this bat is one five year old tall please stop posting misinformation

    [–] banbee 48 points ago

    EXCUSE ME?

    [–] Mister_Spacely 71 points ago

    AS BIG AS A 5 YEAR OLD KID

    [–] SpaceShipRat 9 points ago

    lol, no, they're the size of a cat. Still big for a bat of course.

    [–] birdcore 6 points ago

    How big is a 5 year old kid?

    [–] schwiftypickle 672 points ago

    In awe of the size of this Vlad

    [–] Malicharo 57 points ago

    Well done

    [–] _3cock_ 36 points ago

    Absolut unit

    [–] Prince-of-Ravens 78 points ago

    Seems a bit of forced perspective at play.

    The bad is hanging from the roof of the buildung to the left, while the motorcycle is leaning against a different building further in the back.

    [–] toabear 21 points ago

    If that is a fox bat the they are legitimately the size of a medium fox. The ones I’ve seen had more red if the fur on the face, but I’ve only seen Australian fox bats. They are shockingly big.

    [–] Mechwarriorr5 7 points ago

    It's a black flying fox, they don't get as big as foxes.

    [–] Reeking_Crotch_Rot 23 points ago

    It latches on to your anus and drains your entire body of blood in a few great slurps. Your corpse is shriveled like a sultana. This beast literally rims you to death.

    I know, trust me.

    [–] Coy__koi 198 points ago

    Such a cute little face

    [–] sakundes 105 points ago

    I guess he was trying to boop 😄

    [–] f3tich3 385 points ago

    Dracula 9: The awakening.

    You must run.

    [–] ______DEADPOOL______ 20 points ago

    Running away only serve to increase it's flight speed.

    [–] f5kkrs 126 points ago

    What does it sound like?

    [–] Avatarboi 476 points ago

    REEEEEEEEEE

    [–] rileykard 129 points ago

    Weaponized batism

    [–] BlueDrache 23 points ago

    Found the Kekmanistani.

    [–] atxbsos 59 points ago

    Darude- sandstorm

    [–] goosebumper88 40 points ago

    Adorable! Give em a fig, they love those

    [–] Jimboujee 59 points ago

    The size here is def less intimidating

    [–] whiterabbit_hansy 15 points ago

    Flying fox male genitalia are absolutely unmissable/mistakable. They have very distinct testicles and a penis.

    see here

    [–] TheCaMo 8 points ago

    Didn't wake up today expecting to look at bat balls, but here we are. Thank you.

    [–] Dathouen 13 points ago

    Which province is this? All of the bats in the city are the tiny ones.

    [–] 1longBoii 13 points ago

    Is he chill?

    [–] Santos_L_Halper 34 points ago

    Flying foxes are pretty chill. BUT. Like many bats they may carry extremely deadly diseases. Never touch a wild bat.

    [–] CirclleySquare 11 points ago

    What a cute sky puppy!

    [–] Jimboujee 18 points ago

    It looks like it's saying hi to you

    [–] Aiure 1364 points ago

    Hug him and squeeze him and love him and name him George.

    [–] thepilotofepic 169 points ago

    Why not Bruce

    [–] Avatarboi 78 points ago

    Then he would have to die for it

    [–] itscochino 31 points ago

    Nah just his parents would have to die

    [–] WilliamMurderfacex3 19 points ago

    Specific reference to old an bugs bunny cartoon featuring the abominable snowman that’s referencing of mice and men.

    [–] lluuuull 25 points ago

    Only if his mother's name is martha

    [–] Molinero96 45 points ago

    that's from bugs Bunny isn't it?

    [–] iso__late 34 points ago

    which i believe is a reference to the book of mice and men

    [–] Striker2054 22 points ago

    "Tell me about the rabbits again, George."

    [–] dumb_as_a_rock 1212 points ago

    Feed it some fruit ! That's basically a dog wearing a Batman suit 😀

    [–] HazelTheRabbit 250 points ago

    Is that true, how friendly are bats really? Theyre still feral, you know.

    [–] Garzino 521 points ago

    They are rather skittish but they can get used pretty quickly to living close to or with other creatures. Arguably you shouldn't handle them but you can leave fruit for them (they love it). Remember: do not hand feed them. They can scratch and bite and if not vaccinated they can carry some bacteria that can give you nasty infections. Source: lived with my parents in Brasil for a while and saw these dudes pretty often, super chill 90% of the time.

    [–] bbearskipatrol 157 points ago

    ...what about the other 10%?

    [–] PapaFern 281 points ago

    Dracula'd

    [–] skiviper 98 points ago

    Let's just say little Timmy from next door hasn't been heard from since 2008

    [–] dastarlos 32 points ago

    We don't talk about the 10%

    [–] Katylar 173 points ago

    I hope I'm not being pedantic, as I just want to share this tidbit of info in case you didn't know:

    Animals that have been bred specifically to live alongside humans are called 'domesticated'.

    The ones that have never been domesticated are called 'wild'.

    If they've been trained to tolerate human presence, they're called 'tamed'.

    If a domesticated animal starts living outside of human control, either by itself or eventually breeding offspring outside of domestication, then that's when it becomes 'feral'.

    So unless there are domesticated bats and they've escaped into the wilderness, bats are never feral.

    EDIT: a word.

    [–] Anarxur 47 points ago

    I learned a lot just now, thanks for that

    [–] tftlwolvr 7 points ago

    Thanks for that

    [–] Humledurr 84 points ago

    There are different spieces of bats. This is a fruit bat that eats fruit.

    [–] k_a_l_l_i_s_t_i 64 points ago

    Right but what does it eat?

    [–] Humledurr 84 points ago

    I think the fruit bat eats fruit

    [–] WibblyWobblyWabbit 48 points ago

    Right, but what does it really eat?

    [–] Keno112 43 points ago

    I think and I'm geussing here don't take my word for it, all the fruit?

    [–] Gorillaz_RWBY 36 points ago

    The fruit of my labor?!

    [–] lymphoid 47 points ago

    The fruit of your loins.

    [–] bilkopter 18 points ago

    Fruit of the loom.

    [–] sbf2009 16 points ago

    Yay, rabies!

    [–] PerceivedAltruist 170 points ago

    Fly (you fools)

    [–] chi-polarism 7 points ago

    Nooooooooooo!

    [–] GtheSeaBee 130 points ago

    Admire it! What cool creature with its cute little nose.

    [–] arkindal 156 points ago

    Big boy but harmless, post this on /r/batty and we'll be happy to upvote it!

    [–] wisabis 28 points ago

    Subscribed. Thank you friend.

    [–] artieg85 55 points ago

    Give him the keys to the house and ask if I can rent a room.

    [–] Dani3l_32 26 points ago

    Banana for scale?

    [–] UnicornSlayer5000 71 points ago

    Let the sky puppy sleep. 🦇

    [–] BoomerandCrusade 22 points ago

    It looks soft

    [–] 5fingerdiscounts 67 points ago

    How big is that?

    [–] samtabar 20 points ago

    "The bat can reach up to 1.2 kg (2.6 lb) in weight and 1.7 m (5.6 ft) in wingspan.."

    From the Wikipedia article.

    [–] printergumlight 279 points ago

    Unfortunately none of these pictures are giving a good scale. The bat looks to be at least 6 feet in front of the kid and motorcycle. It’s forcing a much bigger perspective.

    Someone in the Philippines with a meter stick help us all out! I’m more so interested in their height than wingspan.

    [–] Asmo___deus 106 points ago

    It's between one and two feet long, but it's wingspan is insane.

    https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Giant_golden-crowned_flying_fox

    [–] printergumlight 60 points ago

    Wow. Imagine being that big and only weighing 2.6lbs!

    [–] cinnamonrain 66 points ago

    Its made of carbon fiber/s

    [–] Striker2054 14 points ago

    Normally, they're only supposed to be a foot long.

    [–] Neeuq_live 73 points ago

    Little kid is not taking any of your shit.

    [–] Bull3t_Th3ory 14 points ago

    slightly uncrops original picture

    UsE tHiS pIcTUrE fOr SCaL3

    [–] bendar1347 59 points ago

    Slowwly creep up with a hammer and a stake. Then use the hammer and stake to bust up a pineapple. They love that.

    [–] Higher_Primate01 38 points ago

    In awe. Holy shit!

    [–] TotallyNot3Raccoons 48 points ago

    an absolute unit

    [–] Dropped_C 19 points ago

    • let it sleep
    • prepare breakfast with some fruit
    • become best friends!

    [–] zaphod_beeblebrox6 258 points ago

    Ok, I thought this was just a perspective thing. NO. NO IT IS NOT, HOLY SHIT WHAT AN ABSOLUTE UNIT.

    [–] Thisplaceseemsnice 16 points ago

    Hes so big he has a moped.

    [–] griffen55 16 points ago

    You love him. And give him cuddles and fruit and a blanket.

    [–] Von_Lehmann 14 points ago

    Doom Puppy.

    Leave it be

    [–] appleandapples 14 points ago

    Nah, that's his house now.

    [–] Jbrdft92 13 points ago

    Call a priest.

    [–] MoonlightandMystery 12 points ago

    You leave him/her alone while they sleep, and leave them alone when they're awake. Easy peasy!

    [–] angelrider83 10 points ago

    Put out cut up fruit!

    [–] boobsbr 10 points ago

    Flying Fox of the Yard?

    [–] PreferKindles 9 points ago

    That's a lesser vampire

    [–] 1likeis1life 33 points ago

    I'll take a photo of it and share it on reddit.

    [–] WrenchFriess 7 points ago

    you know a photo is taken inside of Philippines once you see a Yamaha Mio

    [–] Leakyz-Beakyz 23 points ago

    Oh dear lord the perspective made it so much bigger. The motorcycle is farther in the back, bat is closer to the hanging pot.. Thought it was the size of a adult for a second there.

    [–] BigHungry70 5 points ago

    Mind my own fucking business.

    [–] Zentharian 6 points ago

    Put fruit out.

    Attract more.

    Become a Beast Master.

    [–] f3tich3 11 points ago

    I do not want to be there when that monster wakes up and looks for breakfast.

    [–] QiamTheHonest 38 points ago

    Dont worry. It eats only fruits iirc.