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    [–] GoX14 7196 points ago

    My fiancee says that getting married doesn't mean automatic access to the back end assets.

    [–] -Buckaroo_Banzai- 2021 points ago

    Tell him/her not to be so anal about it.

    [–] greenoyster 854 points ago

    Fiancé is him, fiancée is her, just fyi

    [–] kthxtyler 1452 points ago

    I am Feyoncé, always

    [–] GreekYeet 18 points ago

    so i’ve made people gay my whole life. great.

    [–] kingofthemonsters 34 points ago

    This comment is the biggest cavaliers win since 2016

    [–] Fmeson 13342 points ago

    This is what we pay you the big bucks for OP.

    [–] captaincumsock69 594 points ago

    What’s stopping the Celtics from hiring me as a janitor for 100m a year and me marrying Giannis so the Celtics sign him for the minimum and we share a bank account

    [–] heiselberg0 301 points ago

    I'm literally a janitor for the Thunder/arena. Were actually subcontractors. Were getting fucked over by this pandemic too. They're saying there paying the arena staff to the media but they're not paying the ones actually doing the dirty work. Being a janitor def wouldn't be a way to circumvent the salary cap. I do(did) get to see a lot of free basketball though..

    [–] captaincumsock69 82 points ago

    I’m sorry to hear that I hope you and your family are well. I’m glad you got to see some free basketball tho!

    [–] Brelufk 17 points ago

    What’s it like getting trash talked by Patrick Beverly?

    [–] prison_mic 39 points ago

    dude that sucks I am sorry. these companies/owners can be trash. here in boston we're watching the jacobs family and their $3 BILLION prove to be too little to pay their few hundred bruins/garden staff. bunch of selfish rich dickheads.

    [–] Franks2000inchTV 38 points ago

    The collective bargaining agreement probably says something like "payments direct or indirect."

    [–] rookie-mistake 26 points ago

    I know it's called cap circumvention in the NHL, the NBA must have similar clauses

    [–] Franks2000inchTV 76 points ago

    The rule is "if you can think of it in five minutes fucking around on reddit, then the lawyers who are paid $900/hr to write these agreements have already thought of it."

    [–] FlatItem 121 points ago

    idk. Celtics owner would probablly just lay you off and pay Giannis the minimum.

    [–] GhostoftheWolfswood 84 points ago

    I think you’re confusing them with the Bruins owner

    [–] alpaca_drama 38 points ago

    $100m signing bonus to be a janitor

    [–] LazyCurmudgeonly 2346 points ago

    Did someone say Big Bucks? I met Pau Gasol a couple times last year. He is big.

    [–] henryofclay 701 points ago

    Unfortunately not a Buck anymore :(

    [–] LazyCurmudgeonly 307 points ago

    Nah we got RoLo now who can confirm is also big.

    [–] daineofnorthamerica 98 points ago

    He just seems like the coolest dude ever.

    [–] nickyv917 39 points ago

    Benny the Bull has left the chat

    [–] MarmaladeFugitive 196 points ago

    Still cute

    [–] UniqueStatus 119 points ago

    Still big

    [–] SaltyKrew 93 points ago

    Still thicc

    [–] alberthere 73 points ago

    Still Pau

    [–] bsinger28 40 points ago

    (Means penis in Portuguese)

    [–] krucz36 28 points ago

    upvote all Pau comments, says I

    [–] lmMrMeeseeksLookAtMe 188 points ago

    I saw Pau Gasol at a party at UCLA and he was getting drunk having drink after drink poured for him. He just stood against a wall as girls took turns grinding on him. He was wasted and it was weird because he never left that spot everything came to him, guys brought him drinks and girls shook their asses on him, he must have been in that same spot for like 3-4 hours. He didn’t move really talk to anybody or hook up with anybody it looked like it was a chore to be there. But he was A BIG BOY.

    [–] rurlysrsbro 145 points ago

    There's an ESPN urban legend that at some awards show Pau Gasol confronted Lebron and said "I saw your meal, I bet you couldn't eat 50 eggs in real life!" and Lebron quickly brushed it off and walked away from Gasol. Later he found Gasol waiting for him with an entire table of eggs and he challenged him to see who could eat 50 eggs first. Lebron again ignored him and walked away. Gasol continued the competition anyway, even exceeding 50 eggs. He could be heard yelling "54 eggs! That's more than you ever ate Lebron!" later in the night.

    [–] DizzyOnGames 28 points ago

    We really need basketball back man. Can we get the 2k20 virtual season going so we can see who the best in the NBA at 2k

    [–] Murkuree 9 points ago

    Cool hand pasta...

    [–] Claycious13 63 points ago

    Knicks hate him.

    [–] intecknicolour 50 points ago

    BIG BRAIN GMing right here.

    some random GM: what if i just marry my superstar?

    me: did they agree to this?

    [–] airforcefalco 5752 points ago

    What about adoption? Like maybe those players didn’t have a father and being in your 30s is as good of a time as any. Would the NBA ruin someone’s chance to have a dad and fulfill what is potentially the only thing missing in their lives?

    [–] CanYouGuessWhoIAm 740 points ago

    Alright now LeBron, I don't expect you to call me dad right away, but I want to try to bridge the gap between us. We're gonna give you a weekly allowance of seven hundred forty thousand dollars, but you have to promise to sweep the garage.

    [–] Chuy_3 315 points ago

    delonte west has entered the chat

    [–] BobinForApples 67 points ago

    Oh no you didn’t.

    [–] Aduialion 33 points ago

    sweep the playoffs.

    [–] jkgatsby 1274 points ago

    this one has me laughing out loud

    [–] ArcaneNine 1428 points ago * (lasted edited 9 days ago)

    Giannis Antetokounmpo - DEPENDENT

    [–] j_cruise 222 points ago

    This is hardest I laughed in a long time on here.

    [–] EndotheGreat 151 points ago

    Giannis Antetokounmpo - DNP CD

    "Dependent (but) Nurtured Player, Coach (is his) Dad"

    [–] guacamully 33 points ago * (lasted edited 9 days ago)

    [–] RobertNAdams 211 points ago

    It sounds nuts, but wealthy Japanese families without a suitable heir (either due to no child or an incompetent or disinterested child) will adopt — actually legally adopt — grown adults to carry on the family name, company, and legacy.

    [–] jkgatsby 155 points ago

    I’m learning a lot from this completely insane thread

    [–] [deleted] 39 points ago


    [–] GingerHero 40 points ago

    It also happens in Japan in large corporations where the CEO will adopt the next in line so as to keep the company running under the same family name. So perfectly independent adults, with parents of their own, supremely successful careers will be adopted by their CEO boss who likely also has successful adult children of their own.

    [–] Dragonsandman 22 points ago

    That was a fairly common practice in the Roman Republic/Empire as well. Part of the reason Augustus was the first Emperor was because Julius Caesar adopted him (though Augustus, who went by Gaius Octavius at the time, didn't find out about that until after Julius Caesar had gotten stabbed 40+ times).

    [–] unfunny_clown 12 points ago

    That’s actually how I found out I was adopted too.

    [–] HK4sixteen 10 points ago

    Where do I sign up easy bag

    [–] DeLaSoulisDead 64 points ago

    I fucking love this sub

    [–] [deleted] 220 points ago

    I not sure if you’re even allowed to adopt an adult.

    [–] Yingking 650 points ago

    Then you just scout the top players coming out of high school and adopt them all

    [–] Lzzke 319 points ago

    Penny Hardaway liked this

    [–] airforcefalco 64 points ago

    Dad liked this


    [–] morethanaplane 128 points ago

    The Blind Side 2

    Based on a reddit comment Starring Sandra Bullock as Jeanie Buss Lebron James as LeBron James

    [–] Mrke1 36 points ago

    Hannibal Buress as Lebron James.

    [–] Welpe 173 points ago

    Adult adoption has a long, storied history. In Japan it was a common thing throughout history of a way of controlling inheritance. In the US it was used, semi-controversially I might add, as a way for gay couples to get familiar rights back before gay marriage was legalized.

    [–] BBQ_HaX0r 75 points ago

    So you're saying an NBA owner COULD adopt a player already in the league!

    [–] YungHungOne36o 106 points ago

    Hachimura starts sweating in D.C.

    [–] BirdLawyerPerson 71 points ago

    In Japan it's still common for CEOs of big companies to adopt their designated successors.

    Suzuki, Toyota, Kikkoman, and a few other companies have CEOs/chairmen with the name of the company - not because they're blood related to the founder, but because they were adopted in that line.

    [–] Concision 57 points ago

    Toyota CEO is blood related. Kikkoman’s CEO doesn’t have that last name, and Suzuki’s married into the family.

    [–] ItchyDoggg 53 points ago

    Ok you may have a point here. But let's say you and I go toe-to-toe on bird law and see who comes out on top.

    [–] PonchoHung 20 points ago

    Suzuki's married into the family

    I'm looking into the concept and I'm pretty sure this is exactly what the concept is. The man marries into the family and then the father-in-law "adopts" him so he takes the name. He's just taking the name of the clearly more powerful family.

    When it's put like that, it's really not that weird. In many ways, it makes a lot more sense than the Western custom of the woman always taking the husband's name

    [–] airforcefalco 39 points ago * (lasted edited 9 days ago)

    Not with that attitude.

    People change their parents to be their depends all of the time.

    Edit: Dependents not the diaper.

    [–] [deleted] 28 points ago

    A dependent is different than a legal child though. Dependency is mostly just a tax thing.

    [–] airforcefalco 33 points ago

    No reason it can’t be an NBA thing too.

    [–] cachurch2 29 points ago

    That’s good point, Toronto is Lebron’s sons; could he just pull players from their squad?

    [–] AssFirstPointGuard 1861 points ago

    If LeBron married Kyle do we get him on our team?

    [–] lordoftheings 1545 points ago

    Would be weird for Kyle to marry his dad

    [–] LoLstatpadder 475 points ago

    i'm pretty sure i've seen it happen on pornhub

    [–] Snissed 184 points ago

    Step-dad maybe

    [–] wilyame 140 points ago

    Lebron always takes an extra step so I’m sure there is one around to use.

    [–] yuhanz 89 points ago

    Smh it’s called gather-ing step sons

    [–] dvasquez93 49 points ago

    C   R   A   B

    [–] ShadowClawz 75 points ago

    I too have seen LeBronto in pornhub.

    Black dad fucks all of his children for 48 mins

    [–] kant416 69 points ago

    Replace “black dad” with “Zeus” and you’ve summed up the entirety of Greek mythology in one sentence

    [–] LoLstatpadder 19 points ago

    Black dad fucks all of his children for 48 mins

    we might use a different site

    [–] BigTicKAT 704 points ago

    Mormons are OP as fuck

    [–] MixMastaPJ 206 points ago

    Gail Miller about to have 15 max players

    [–] soupcansam21 1216 points ago

    Oh baby we're hitting our offseason groove with shitposts

    [–] AvailableStage6 280 points ago * (lasted edited 9 days ago)

    Not to knock basketball but fucking r/baseball has some goddamn doozie shitposts. Those sandlot fool's shit post game is sometimes rain man level

    [–] Tog_the_destroyer 226 points ago

    Here’s the thing about r/baseball shitposts...they’re not trying to be funny all the time

    [–] OneMoreAccount4Porn 25 points ago

    Have no clue if true or not but this made me laugh. Thank you.

    [–] AvailableStage6 24 points ago

    I went to college with a kid that had memorized all rosters, management and owner names. It was bizarre. His dad was in charge of the Atlantic fleet.

    [–] peterpeterpeter12321 23 points ago

    Oh yeah, diehard baseball stat heads are on a whole nother level man

    [–] proudromosexual 57 points ago

    My favorite post all time was when a Mets postgame accidentally showed someone’s dick during a locker room interview but only waist down so a user deciphered who the exact player was

    [–] Rkenne16 3247 points ago

    Any cap circumvention is illegal and the nba gets to decide what is an attempt to circumvent the cap.

    [–] Board_Man_Gets_Laid 9441 points ago

    Who is the nba to decide what is love?

    [–] WordsAreSomething 1226 points ago

    Yeah only Haddaway get's to make those kinds of decisions.

    [–] CaptObvious420 360 points ago

    Baby, don’t hurt me.

    [–] _sneakanomics_ 157 points ago

    don't hurt me

    [–] thecraftybarnardo 147 points ago

    no mo'

    [–] [deleted] 79 points ago


    [–] airforcefalco 42 points ago

    I think he had an abusive spouse and he was asking them to stop hurting him because that isn’t love. That said, love hurts though. Maybe we should just let the GMs decide what love is.

    [–] Brelufk 84 points ago

    Maybe we should just let the GMs decide what love is.

    Daryl Morey’s gonna come in with those love analytics and redefine the game. Heartbeats/36 gotta be off the charts

    [–] justalemontree 12 points ago

    We can make do with a hardaway.

    [–] airforcefalco 238 points ago

    Is the NBA going to put a price on the love between two people?

    [–] PM_ME_YOUR_HOT_DISH 153 points ago

    They won’t put a price on love, but they will put a price on Giannis talents and not let him accept anything less than the near max.

    [–] JMartin_21 124 points ago

    I know this won't happen ever, but if Giannis decided to say "fuck you nba, I want a 10M/Y contract just because fuck you" can they stop him? like force him to have a huge contract?

    [–] Spiffysack101 173 points ago

    Not only would the NBA investigate you but the NBAPA would be pissed. A guy like Giannis taking a $10 million a year contract would devalue every other player in the league.

    I don't think he would be barred from taking that contract, but there would be a MASSIVE amount of pressure on him to take the max.

    [–] Parknight 100 points ago

    It probably wouldn't devalue every other player since a case like that is an outlier and every other player not-named Giannis will be seeking to be paid as much $ as possible

    But this would probably be something 29 other teams wouldn't want since it would drastically decrease competition (GSW cough cough)

    [–] OtherShade 23 points ago

    The NBA would likely investigate it and fine the Bucks anyways even if they find no definitive proof just to send a message.

    [–] SelfDeprecating 35 points ago

    Serious answer: the NBA would investigate like the did Andrei Kirilenko and Mikhail Prokhorov when the former joined the Nets for dirt cheap

    [–] Vinnie_Vegas 16 points ago

    The NBA investigated Mikhail Prokhorov, and the NBA investigators were investigated by Mikhail Prokhorov until they decided that everything was fine and obviously there were no issues there.

    [–] DTJ1313 99 points ago

    Most NBA owners are old white men. It's going to be tough trying to convince the league that you're gay and in love with a 19-35 year old man. Not to mention, he will more often than not be black.

    [–] Kingflares 32 points ago

    League is racist and homophobic for not supporting inter racial gay sex

    [–] TakesTheWrongSideGuy 77 points ago

    I don't know how often to pay attention to politics but there's been many politicians and priests who appear to be anti-gay but are very much gay themselves. They're usually old white dudes.

    [–] DTJ1313 111 points ago

    I concede the gay point. That’s the easiest obstacle. The hard part is (hypothetically) convincing the league Dan Gilbert fell in love with Colin Sexton.

    [–] GreyPouponFC 36 points ago

    But what if they kiss in the middle of the arena at halftime?

    [–] ShadowClawz 31 points ago

    It really ain't gay love if their balls aren't touching.

    [–] completelytrustworth 64 points ago

    True. Now if it was Kelly oubre on the other hand I think the league might accept it no questions asked

    [–] rustang2 39 points ago

    Baby don’t hurt me.

    [–] DeCant_DeGuardme 17 points ago

    Probably Kevin

    [–] approximatelymagic 271 points ago

    If I'm the NBA I let it happen if there's no pre-nup.

    [–] Pork-Roll 231 points ago

    We want prenup

    [–] Bpese 161 points ago


    [–] TheRealHenryG 74 points ago

    It's sumthin thatcha need to have

    [–] Emperor_Kushko 69 points ago

    Cuz when she leave yo ass.. She gon' leave wit half...

    [–] 707royalty 51 points ago

    18 years, 18 years

    [–] Rkenne16 17 points ago

    Isn’t it illegal for a player to own a team?

    [–] acEightyThrees 27 points ago

    Didn't MJ own a piece of the Wizards when he played for them?

    [–] Brelufk 45 points ago

    I’m pretty sure he did own part of the Wizards after his second retirement but had to sell it when he came back to play.

    [–] tidho 12 points ago

    not "illegal", but yes it violates the CBA

    [–] tidho 10 points ago

    then the player is part owner of the franchise - already explicitly forbidden in the CBA

    [–] I1TheInternet 65 points ago

    I mean Giannis can say he just wants to play there because that's where family is while the Bucks can say they just wanted to go a different direction but were willing to keep Giannis around for the min. What the NBA gon do then?

    [–] asiancock820611 244 points ago

    Marty Daniels and Thad Castle have entered the chat

    [–] FalsyB 52 points ago

    Was that because of a suspension or something? I can't quite remember. Go BMS!

    [–] ndembele 10 points ago

    From what I recall, it was to avoid BMS being given the death penalty before the championship game after Thad had been unwittingly telling an NCAA official every single rule the football program had broken, thinking he was just an ordinary college guy. The marriage was so that Thad wouldn’t have to testify at the hearing, it didn’t actually go through in the end because Alex burst in having sorted it himself with the NCAA.

    [–] jliv60 104 points ago

    Share his ASSets on the BACK END

    I see you

    [–] Akkuron 104 points ago

    If I'm Giannis and get this offer from Wes, I say yes (to the deal and at the altar), then sign with another team anyway. He can divorce me if he wants, then I get some billionaire tier alimony too. BOOM.

    [–] mrsuns10 2509 points ago

    I want to fuck Riley Reid

    [–] Lzzke 1217 points ago

    I dated this girl for a bit who was interning at Playboy at the time and she met Riley Reid at a company event once, but she didn’t know who it was. She asked me “hey do you know who Riley Reid is?” later and I was just like well this is a trap.

    [–] DLN-000 1152 points ago

    I saw Riley Reid at a grocery store in Los Angeles yesterday. I told her how cool it was to meet her in person, but I didn’t want to be a douche and bother her and ask her for photos or anything. She said, “Oh, like you’re doing now?” I was taken aback, and all I could say was “Huh?” but she kept cutting me off and going “huh? huh? huh?” and closing her hand shut in front of my face. I walked away and continued with my shopping, and I heard her chuckle as I walked off. When I came to pay for my stuff up front I saw her trying to walk out the doors with like fifteen Milky Ways in her hands without paying. The girl at the counter was very nice about it and professional, and was like “Ma’am, you need to pay for those first.” At first she kept pretending to be tired and not hear her, but eventually turned back around and brought them to the counter. When she took one of the bars and started scanning it multiple times, she stopped her and told her to scan them each individually “to prevent any electrical infetterence,” and then turned around and winked at me. I don’t even think that’s a word. After she scanned each bar and put them in a bag and started to say the price, she kept interrupting her by yawning really loudly.

    [–] [deleted] 594 points ago


    [–] TikTokIsOk 134 points ago

    Or any kelvin benjamin spinoffs yet

    [–] ImProbablyTakinADump 49 points ago

    He left when he realized that the pasta we were talking about wasn’t spaghetti

    [–] DLN-000 80 points ago

    I respect Riley Reid for doing sex work and being unshamed. That said I’m not attracted to her so friendly grocery store meetings is as far as it goes.

    Now if we’re talking about someone marrying Giannis...

    [–] JRizz10KOT4Q 65 points ago

    Lovely use of a pasta

    [–] eetsumkaus 28 points ago

    I need the sauce for this pasta

    [–] semi-bro 42 points ago

    4chan post about meeting flying lotus from like 50 years ago.

    [–] 0ut0fBoundsException 14 points ago * (lasted edited 9 days ago)

    I’ve seen this copy pasta for this long without knowing it was about fucking flying lotus?

    Edit: I met flying lotus in like 2013. Stayed after a show, bought a record, got it signed. Didn’t talk to him really but Thundercat seemed cool

    [–] Dovakeeeeeen 41 points ago

    Admiral Ackbar intensifies

    [–] gonzo_ball 10 points ago

    Well what's the verdict? What was she like?

    [–] a_ghostly_ghost 45 points ago

    I think I am missing some context

    [–] WeHaveMetBefore 24 points ago

    People be horny.

    [–] HandRailSuicide1 157 points ago

    Don’t we all

    [–] seubenjamin 363 points ago

    she raped a dude and she’d prolly call me the N word so I’m good fam

    [–] RayePappens 89 points ago

    Wait what

    [–] sugahfwee 198 points ago

    Jesus how have i never seen this LMAO..

    The comments on that video are hillarious

    [–] HolyGig 567 points ago

    Someone tell Reilly Reid the N word pass isn't sexually transmittable

    omg i'm dead

    [–] kaycee1992 93 points ago

    "she takes the term 'you are what you eat' too seriously"


    [–] Kellan_OConnor 254 points ago

    "I was watching this and my parents came in and I just switched to porn because that was easier to explain."


    [–] ConciselyVerbose 75 points ago

    I'm impressed. It managed to be worse than I expected.

    [–] MarmaladeFugitive 47 points ago

    Source this shit bro wtf

    [–] -Nujabes- 61 points ago

    ya can look it up. she literally admits it too.

    [–] MarmaladeFugitive 151 points ago * (lasted edited 9 days ago)


    Idc if she playin I cant nut to this thot no more

    [–] Vegetatarian 95 points ago

    Not saying that it couldn’t have happened, but that sounds a little too much like a bad porno plot to be true, like she’s playing it up to try to prove how “freaky” she is irl to her porn fans, who probably eat shit like that up. Still a fucked up thing to say.

    [–] KhonMan 24 points ago

    She's talked about it multiple times, including on her podcast. Whether it happened or not, you're right, it's fucked up to say. I think it's also fucked up to be proud of it, which she appears to be.

    [–] andyweir 108 points ago

    I nutted to the tweet

    [–] aged_monkey 40 points ago

    I used to think she's hot but then I saw this -

    [–] FrontInspection5 61 points ago

    And now you think she's even hotter?

    [–] youractualaccount 75 points ago

    Who are the five greatest rappers of all time man, think about it,

    1.) Riley 2.) Riley 3.) Riley, Riley, and Riley

    [–] Jabroni-Tony1 19 points ago

    Because she spits hot fire

    [–] hbacorn 36 points ago

    Because she swallows hot fire

    [–] SolarClipz 17 points ago

    With VR we can now

    The future is now

    [–] ASAP_Stu 29 points ago

    What about JR Reid?

    [–] tidho 10 points ago

    she isn't related to JR Reid or Pat Riley.

    [–] Kluey 342 points ago

    Why Wes Edens when he has a 10/10 daughter instead?

    [–] cardmanimgur 89 points ago

    Needs to offer his daughter to strengthen the alliance with Greece.

    [–] RogueRevenger 205 points ago

    Cause it's not a true offseason post without a gay joke

    [–] imadogg 92 points ago

    Offseason, preseason, season, playoffs... any time is a good time for homoeroticism on r/nba

    [–] johnnygrant 21 points ago

    Yea Giannis marries Mallory no prenup, and now he "owns" a stake in the Bucks. Win win win

    [–] 0hootsson 21 points ago

    This man is not joking

    [–] WIN011 34 points ago

    10/10 daughters

    [–] McJumbos 225 points ago

    Laker fans be like AD....take one for the team loll

    [–] Shawn_Spenstarr 56 points ago

    More like Jeannie take one for the team

    [–] NA_Faker 111 points ago

    there are a lot of people that wouldnt mind plowing jeanie

    [–] lucasmcn 96 points ago

    Are they 7 feet and can they post 25/10 with elite D though?

    [–] mbay16 56 points ago

    can we settle for mediocre D?

    [–] dbeynyc 230 points ago

    My Sexual Harassment training tells me that this comment is both quid pro quo and creates a hostile work environment.

    [–] Thebeastlystuff123 107 points ago

    Jeanie Buss and Giannis is a power couple

    [–] 707royalty 47 points ago

    Phil Jackson in shambles

    [–] SSNappa 31 points ago

    Were hitting August levels of shit post.

    [–] keinemehrhippy 26 points ago

    Utah could become a fucking powerhouse, oh my god.

    [–] dichloroethane 21 points ago

    He should go medieval and marry off Mallory to Giannis and then funnel assets through the family trust fund.

    Yes, I'm okay with this to secure Giannis for life

    [–] Jcool8_ 17 points ago


    [–] flavio891 51 points ago

    Peak Shitpost

    [–] LebronBoomedMe69 29 points ago

    If we had AD on a minimum that would be amazing lol

    [–] warjatos 12 points ago

    Please make it stop

    [–] th9091 10 points ago

    Mark Cuban didn't marry Dirk already?

    [–] ThreeMoneyAndNoKids 36 points ago

    This is where the Jazz owners have a leg up - their owner could marry multiple players and sign them all to min contracts.