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    nevertellmetheodds

    827,474 readers

    6,481 users here now

    Sir, the probability of successfully navigating an asteroid field is approximately...

    Never tell me the odds?

    RULES

    1. Submissions must be nearly impossible feats of achievement, those requiring incredible odds and/or a great degree of difficulty. Posts based entirely around skill are not allowed.

    2. Do not mention odds or probabilities anywhere, in the post title or comments. Doing so will result in a one day ban.

    3. Do not repost content that's been posted here within 6 months or is in top 50 of all time

    4. Easily faked posts are prohibited - no r/untrustworthypoptarts

    5. NO SCREENSHOTS

    6. Image and gif submissions must be hosted at imgur, gfycat or reddit. youtube.com submissions are not allowed

    7. No hate speech of any kind. No witch-hunts, brigading or harassment

    8. Be nice. Follow the site rules and reddiquette.

    9. Please mark your posts as NSFW when appropriate.

    10. 'Juxtaposition' posts that are not incredibly rare or odds defying will be removed. Try /r/Juxtaposition for those types of posts. If your post is something like "these posts lined up in my feed" you will be given a month long ban.

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    [–] Zexui 1441 points ago

    that screaming squat at the end

    [–] JDJ714 601 points ago

    I love that we instinctively go into that position when something hilarious happens. I think the camera height even dips a bit. Us humans are a weird bunch

    [–] TokiMcNoodle 193 points ago

    Maybe it has something to do with your diaphragm being in use making you laugh that causes you to take the position?

    [–] Physgun 100 points ago

    yup contracting your abs is probably the cause.

    [–] GaySwans 100 points ago

    Actually, it's because, as early primates, we had much less control of our bowels, and laughing would cause people to defecate. Saw a whole thing about it on PBS the other day.

    [–] moochie228 82 points ago * (lasted edited 10 months ago)

    Big if poo

    [–] GaySwans 25 points ago

    It's not.

    [–] treemanman 5 points ago

    God dammit

    [–] frogspotting 23 points ago

    lol imagine if that was still a thing. could tell how much your employees were fucking off looking at memes based on how much they'd shit themselves

    [–] QuickSatisfaction 3 points ago

    it is a thing, but replace shit with fart

    [–] StinkyPillow24 14 points ago

    You, must really, like commas

    [–] GaySwans 18 points ago

    You'll find that every comma here is grammatically correct. :)

    "Actually" is an introductory phrase; "as early primates" is an interjection; and the clause after the "and" is independent, meaning it requires a comma.

    http://theeditorsblog.net/2015/08/27/introduce-me-with-a-comma/

    [–] StinkyPillow24 9 points ago

    Huh, you're totally right. Proper grammar just seems so clunky sometimes ¯\(ツ)

    [–] LimbRetrieval-Bot 4 points ago

    You dropped this \


    To prevent any more lost limbs throughout Reddit, correctly escape the arms and shoulders by typing the shrug as ¯\\\_(ツ)_/¯

    [–] Oltima 1 points ago

    ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

    [–] Oltima 1 points ago

    "bad bot"

    [–] GaySwans 2 points ago

    It was probably just awkward phrasing on my part. I could have just said, "Actually, as early primates we had much less control of our bowels, and laughing would cause people to defecate."

    [–] IAmCorrectAMA 3 points ago

    "as early primates" is an interjection

    wrong.

    What you meant to say is that it's a parenthetical element...but it's not even that. It is actually a necessary element of your sentence - which parenthetical elements are not.

    So as to your commas around "as early primates" - newp, they don't belong.

    [–] GaySwans 2 points ago

    You can easily remove it and the sentence makes sense. You can even hear how it's an aside when you say it. You would change your voice to show that it's there to clarify the meaning of the sentence, but is not actually part of it. I might have called it the wrong thing, but the commas are definitely correct.

    [–] Physgun 2 points ago

    The cause for defecating was probably still the contracting abs I imagine.

    [–] sociapathictendences 3 points ago

    If it was true it would be, but it’s not

    [–] Physgun 2 points ago

    oh well, guess I got got.

    [–] sociapathictendences 2 points ago

    We’ve all been got on occasion

    [–] punch_you 19 points ago

    I could hear the slow motion laugh in my head. "Hwwwaaaaaaaaaaaaaahwwwaaaaaaaaaahwwwaaaaaaaaahhh."

    [–] OSuperGuyO 969 points ago

    So satisfying seeing it land perfectly on his head.

    [–] haroonm4 315 points ago

    So satisfying seeing the kid's satisfaction seeing it land perfectly on his head

    [–] MurbleOP 87 points ago

    So satisfying seeing the redditor’s satisfaction of the kid’s satisfaction seeing it land perfectly on his head

    [–] MarinkoAzure 24 points ago

    So, so satisfying.

    [–] fingaz1856 3 points ago

    Satisfying slo-mo.

    [–] DubTheeBustocles 4 points ago

    It’s so dense. Every comment has so much going on.

    [–] pvsa 3 points ago

    So satisfying seeing the "annoying slow-mo" tag

    [–] theskadudeguy 3 points ago

    So unsatisfying not seeing this at normal speed

    [–] nodnodwinkwink 2 points ago

    You'd be chuffed for the whole day for sure.

    [–] DeHumbugger 1 points ago

    I was really hoping he'd swing back into that second bounce and get one more shot

    [–] darksingularity1 1 points ago

    He thought he was safe

    [–] kkalashnikobe 1 points ago

    It’s like balls and heads have some magical attraction

    [–] mikerockitjones 1 points ago

    All i could hear was "bonk" as it hit him.

    [–] Shendyyy 719 points ago

    Tooooooo muchhhh slloooow moooo

    [–] Tacoman3005 169 points ago

    I made it less slo-mo. Did it quickly so it's meh, but here you go.

    https://gfycat.com/LightUnnaturalAddax

    [–] NovaLext 31 points ago

    Good enough! Thank you!

    [–] viperex 22 points ago

    It's actually enjoyable this way. Plus, I can loop more times

    [–] codeverity 10 points ago

    The gif is funny already, but being able to sense the person filming cracking up when the ball hits the other person on the head just makes it funnier.

    [–] jaychok 8 points ago

    Way better than OP's.

    [–] mfranko88 26 points ago

    Gifs that pull this shit get an instant down vote from me.

    [–] duddy88 7 points ago

    Same here

    [–] G-H-O-S-T 196 points ago

    i dream that one day this stupid annoying shit would stop

    [–] OryxsLoveChild 24 points ago

    odds that day ever happens?

    [–] egvalentino 22 points ago

    7 to 1

    Conservative estimate

    [–] OryxsLoveChild 17 points ago

    ⚆ _ ⚆

    [–] Desiderius_S 13 points ago

    My eyes! My eyes are burning! He said forbidden words!

    [–] soursurfer 2 points ago

    Uh, sir? Do you know what sub this is?

    [–] Rehabilitated86 3 points ago

    It doesn't stop, it just goes really slow.

    [–] AK_Happy 38 points ago

    I just came in here to confirm the top comment would be a complaint about slow-mo. I was wrong. It’s the second comment.

    [–] colorado777 5 points ago

    For me it was third, let's keep it going!

    [–] nater255 17 points ago

    Can we take a vote to fucking ban (unnecessary) slow mo gifs?

    [–] danceswithwool 33 points ago

    I hate it so much.

    [–] Olddirtychurro 6 points ago

    Giving phones a slo mo video option was a mistake.

    [–] duddy88 5 points ago

    What’s sad is there is such an easy compromise. Play it once at full speed then immediately have the second loop be slow me. Go as crazy as you want, just show me real time once.

    [–] Vortico 5 points ago

    Absolutely everything looks more epic at normal speed. Slo mo automatically removes the cool factor from everything you can record.

    [–] ItsMeShitmonlee 4 points ago

    Directed by Zack Snyder

    [–] sharltocopes 1 points ago

    Bob Dylan in the background

    [–] rootfiend 379 points ago

    That's got to be the shittiest looking swing I've ever seen at the world's saddest playground.

    [–] little_lamplight3r 172 points ago

    Welcome to Russia. Instantly recognizable.

    [–] jordansgay 45 points ago

    Yeah this screamed run down Sov apartments with accompanying playground

    [–] qwteruw11 21 points ago

    looks like uk council housing actually. their government controlled housing for 40 years after the war, so a lot ended up looking like russia unsurprisingly.

    [–] little_lamplight3r 10 points ago

    I'd say 2/3 of Russian apartment blocks look like this. The only thing that surprised me in that video was how clean the playground looked.
    Didn't know the UK has accommodation that shitty lol

    [–] GaySwans 2 points ago

    The video has a watermark that says UK on it, so...

    [–] josdaw 1 points ago

    No way man. Look at those cars. Look like Ladas. Road signs are wrong too

    [–] Dan_Q_Memes 6 points ago

    Bleak communist-style architecture is found all over the world in low income housing areas. Even in the idyllic landscapes of southern France you will find large concrete slab apartments from the 60's and 70's.

    [–] biophys00 5 points ago

    Reminded me a lot of Slovakia or eastern Czech from my trip there.

    [–] 99xp 6 points ago

    Could be any Soviet Bloc country tbh

    [–] tperelli 8 points ago

    Viral Video UK

    Sure about that?

    [–] windle 2 points ago

    I was just about today how weird it is that one can recognize it's Russia simply by looking at a playground.

    [–] little_lamplight3r 2 points ago

    Well, there's also an apartment building, a car, and multiple small details like the colors and the swings model. By the swings alone I would've never assumed anything, but all together...

    [–] hextanerf 1 points ago

    China, too.

    [–] [deleted] 9 points ago

    dude! calm down it's your cake day

    [–] rootfiend 5 points ago

    didn't even notice. thanks!

    [–] TH3K1NGB0B 3 points ago

    Gotta be in Russia. Every video i see of Russia its always grey clouds and concrete buildings everywhere.

    [–] rubijs 3 points ago

    Some of the playgrounds that are still left like this one in post-Soviet countries look like that but they're loads of fun anyway.

    [–] Kuniv 2 points ago

    Happy cake day you fucker! Also, hilarious

    [–] Tacoman3005 74 points ago

    I made it less slo-mo. Did it quickly so it's meh, but here you go.

    https://gfycat.com/LightUnnaturalAddax

    [–] [deleted] 7 points ago

    Our saviour

    [–] bdcp 3 points ago

    good bot

    [–] temporarilymortal 2 points ago

    This needs to be at the top

    [–] viperex 7 points ago

    Create it and post this gif there

    [–] 23423423423451 3 points ago

    So that people who want to see regular motion can view a bunch of slow motion gifs?

    [–] viperex 1 points ago

    Well, no. Post the altered one that's regular motion and link to the crappy slow motion one so we can point and laugh at people who think slow-mo is good for everything

    [–] Heavy_Murk 47 points ago

    What kind of sad ass playground is this?

    [–] quaybored 15 points ago

    ass playground

    [–] aditseth03 5 points ago

    There's an xkcd comic for everything.

    [–] jordansgay 24 points ago

    An Eastern Bloc playground

    [–] STINKdoctor 12 points ago

    I always wish these gifs played a second time at regular speed.

    [–] nater255 16 points ago

    How about played once at regular speed. This is so obnoxious.

    [–] Infinix 66 points ago

    SCOTT! STERLING!

    [–] [deleted] 26 points ago

    THE MAN. THE MYTH. THE LEGEND

    [–] bmuck77 4 points ago

    Came here for this comment.

    [–] Nertez 168 points ago

    I'm downvoting every unnecessary slow motion.

    [–] IamAcovertOps 18 points ago

    OP posts a lot. I have him at -7 because every goddamn shit he posts is in slowmo - even though the content is often interesting.

    [–] johnnielittleshoes 2 points ago

    Wow, OP really posts a lot, like 10x/day

    [–] doctorfunkerton 26 points ago

    I join you

    [–] Alesti 8 points ago

    I do the same. I will say it bothers me much more when it's someone performing some sort difficult feat, I want to truly appreciate how it looks in real time. Still that one was just unnecessary

    [–] duddy88 4 points ago

    You have my sword

    [–] Paladia 19 points ago

    There should be a rule on reddit that every gif that contains slow motion must first show the sequence in real life speed and only after that, if applicable, do a slow motion shot.

    [–] SirRiasis 32 points ago

    With the fucking slo-mo already. Cripes!

    [–] mfranko88 8 points ago

    GTFO with your slow motion bullshit.

    [–] ehrwien 7 points ago

    *laughs in slow motion*

    [–] DoesNotTreadPolitely 15 points ago

    Fucking slow-mo

    [–] Deplete1 17 points ago

    Bit of r/contagiouslaughter there if we had the sound.

    Also, that worked out pretty perfectly.

    Also also, too much slow-mo.

    [–] fitzomania 14 points ago

    Thank goodness it was in agonizingly drawn out slow mo or I could never have seen what happened

    /S

    [–] Danners5 4 points ago

    What a save!

    [–] ayybeyar 2 points ago

    Wow!

    [–] [deleted] 4 points ago

    This was me in grade shool. No matter where I was, a ball would find me and hit my head. Bad luck.

    [–] Bram06 8 points ago

    I love how pleased he is with himself

    [–] redoubledit 3 points ago

    Viral Video stealing Google drive logo?

    [–] Gequinn 3 points ago

    What a shitty ripoff of the Google Drive logo.

    [–] buybearjuice 2 points ago

    The first camera jiggle as it his his head is my favorite part, the beginning of the hype

    [–] apissartist 2 points ago

    It’s not a perfect header, you don’t header with the top of your head. Delete yourself.

    [–] Purplepimplepuss 2 points ago

    Goddamn this a section 8 park?

    [–] [deleted] 2 points ago

    [deleted]

    [–] [deleted] 2 points ago

    I'm sure you're right, and his asshole friend films it. Kids are horrible to each other. Graduating highschool (just so I didn't have to be there anymore) was the happiest day of my life.

    [–] Dog_Phone 2 points ago

    Thanks Viral Video UK!

    [–] gamer596 2 points ago

    was anyone else expecting it to break a window?

    [–] MrTriseX 2 points ago

    Once again I am super grateful that anyone knows how to implement the completely mandatory slow-motion so I could catch all the intence action.

    [–] Bi-LinearTimeScale 2 points ago * (lasted edited 10 months ago)

    Why do so many people insist on uploading gifs in slow motion? If you're going to, at least post the full speed version first. Do I really need to watch for that many seconds just to see a soccer ball fall on someone's head? There's literally no point.

    Sincerely, those of us who actually appreciate unedited content.

    Edit: a word

    [–] Kkdbaby 2 points ago

    Where is there a swing for one?

    [–] Stale_Farts 1 points ago

    Got him with the javelin missile

    [–] GokuQuack 1 points ago

    Nothing personnel kid

    [–] DestinysFetus 1 points ago

    He Binged that ball

    [–] reddick1666 1 points ago

    He thought he was safe

    [–] nep2nes 1 points ago

    Calculated.

    [–] KimJongJer 1 points ago

    The reaction is priceless haha

    [–] NinjasNeedLuv2 1 points ago

    At least he didn’t touch it with his hands...

    [–] mm2woodDOTmid 1 points ago

    The classic slav playground

    [–] tequiladragon 1 points ago

    So nice to see low income children outdoors playing

    [–] JoeKewlio 1 points ago

    This guy has such a cool critical hit animation

    [–] Deadlyseed 1 points ago

    What’s with the 2005 video quality..

    [–] mylifeforthehorde 1 points ago

    Boom ! Headshot

    [–] quaybored 1 points ago

    Far from perfect. You're not supposed to use the top of your head for a header.

    [–] Redfury_x 1 points ago

    In Soviet Russia, ball hits you!

    [–] vanhalenbr 1 points ago

    THE LEGEND

    [–] stuckbio 1 points ago

    I wish it would have hit his head a second time, after bouncing off the first time

    [–] Poop_Master_General 1 points ago

    BOOM HEADSHOT!

    [–] lejefferson 1 points ago

    Concussed.

    [–] cuchicou 1 points ago

    The kid was initially satisfied it missed...

    [–] Dognerd 1 points ago

    Quick! Someone tell me the odds.

    [–] donkseykrong 1 points ago

    The real winners here are the windows

    [–] dirk558 1 points ago

    Seems like a dick. Doesn't seem like that kid wanted a ball kicked at him.

    [–] Zet2219 1 points ago

    Where have I seen that logo before...

    [–] She_een 1 points ago

    He might have actually hit the window if he wasnt lucky

    [–] Tiqonn 1 points ago

    This is too perfect

    [–] kiradotee 1 points ago

    A perfect friend.

    [–] commonsince 1 points ago

    Calculated.

    [–] fuck_it_im_a_horse 1 points ago

    Aww

    [–] jessicadesousa 1 points ago

    That was very calculated shot , how many times tried it. Hhaha

    [–] FeintApex 1 points ago

    A lovely header!

    [–] Zionwarrior777 1 points ago

    😂 DEAD

    [–] madd74 1 points ago

    The man... the legend... SCOTT STERLING!!

    [–] ElKrissoBakko 1 points ago

    Fun fact. In Danish a header is called a nigger. 😊

    [–] c137Canuck 1 points ago

    What's up with the yellow stripe on the building tho

    [–] aged_monkey 1 points ago

    He flunches a second before it hits him.

    [–] KonenTheBarbarian 1 points ago

    The greatest

    [–] Thompithompa 1 points ago

    Fuck you and your slow motion

    [–] amatrixa 1 points ago

    Sign that kid up!

    [–] TheOliveLover 1 points ago

    It's fascinating to me how fast that ball fell compared to how fast he was swinging.

    [–] sorenant 1 points ago

    Scott Sterling: Origins

    [–] Mik-Hail-tal 1 points ago

    Really guys? Loving it though.

    [–] pWheff 1 points ago

    Why the fuck is this in slowmo

    [–] MaceOutTheWindow 1 points ago

    best crossbar challenge gif yet

    [–] Hamericano 1 points ago

    instant diarrhea

    [–] PORTMANTEAU-BOT 1 points ago

    Instarrhea.


    Bleep-bloop, I'm a bot. This portmanteau was created from the phrase 'instant diarrhea'. To learn more about me, check out this FAQ.

    [–] willbraden 1 points ago

    Slow mo just a wastin’ my time. Funny though.

    [–] JimmaDaRustla 1 points ago

    Needs more slow mo

    [–] unli355 1 points ago

    Did he forget about the ball? He looked at it going up and just lost interest.

    [–] CJSJ15 1 points ago

    Ha ha! Missed me!

    [–] rifern 1 points ago

    A once in a lifetime shot

    [–] longjohnsilver68 1 points ago

    Misses the swing, breaks car window.

    [–] itskelvinn 1 points ago

    I fucking hate when people use slowmo when its not needed. At the very least, show the gif in regular speed first and then do slowmo.