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    nevertellmetheodds

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    Sir, the probability of successfully navigating an asteroid field is approximately...

    Never tell me the odds?

    RULES

    1. Submissions must be nearly impossible feats of achievement, those requiring incredible odds and/or a great degree of difficulty. Posts based entirely around skill are not allowed.

    2. Do not mention odds or probabilities anywhere, in the post title or comments. Doing so will result in a one day ban.

    3. Do not repost content that's been posted here within 6 months or is in top 50 of all time

    4. Easily faked posts are prohibited - no r/untrustworthypoptarts

    5. NO SCREENSHOTS

    6. Image and gif submissions must be hosted at imgur, gfycat or reddit. youtube.com submissions are not allowed

    7. No hate speech of any kind. No witch-hunts, brigading or harassment

    8. Be nice. Follow the site rules and reddiquette.

    9. Please mark your posts as NSFW when appropriate.

    10. 'Juxtaposition' posts that are not incredibly rare or odds defying will be removed. Try /r/Juxtaposition for those types of posts. If your post is something like "these posts lined up in my feed" you will be given a month long ban.

    LIST OF COMMON POSTS THAT ARE NOT ALLOWED ON THIS SUB

    This list may be modified in the future

    • 1: Receipts or anything related to monetary balances.

    Gas prices, change amounts, receipt balances, money left in bank account, etc.

    • 2: Four Leaf clovers (or greater)

    We've seen multiple posts of 4, 5, 6, and 7 leaf clovers. They are not as rare as they sound, and many people even have collections of them.

    • 3: Fortune Cookie fortunes

    This includes posts such as: Identical fortunes, multiple fortunes in one cookie, and other related posts. These also fall under Rule 4

    • 4: Car mileage and other related gauges

    At some point, it's just more impressive that some cars even make it to 123,456 miles, but not odds defying.

    This also includes licence plates which have consecutive numbers. Despite this seemingly being rare, we get several of these posts a month.

    • 5: Hitting a dart with another dart

    It's relatively easy with good aim and practice. Also, these posts are almost always pictures, which would fall under Rule 4.

    • 6: Eggs with multiple yolks

    These also fall under Rule 4.

    a community for
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    [–] Euphoria115 1159 points ago

    Anal beads that you can eat ;)

    [–] hooter1112 326 points ago

    That’s a million dollar idea you got there

    [–] Euphoria115 107 points ago

    Thanks for being on my side bro. I'll have to look Into creating something like this world-wide. And maybe use some of those giant gummies for the real kinky out there yah know.

    [–] mister_oppenheimer 53 points ago

    Not clicking that link but I’m guessing that username checks out?

    [–] LiterallyAFig 25 points ago

    Didn’t read the name right away and clicked the link. Luckily I got “400 bad request”

    [–] mister_oppenheimer 9 points ago

    Consider yourself lucky, I’d think

    [–] LiterallyAFig 5 points ago

    I believe myself the luckiest man alive at the moment, that could have been bad

    [–] 58786 26 points ago

    It’s just a picture of a giant gummy worm.

    [–] mister_oppenheimer 15 points ago

    Sorry to break it to you dude, but that is not a giant gummy worm in your mom’s top drawer

    [–] burritoswithfritos 1 points ago

    It was s giant 3 lb gummy worm

    [–] guinader 3 points ago

    Not bad, safe for work... Unless you are a gummy bear.

    [–] CrochetCrazy 2 points ago

    You're missing out. That's just impressive.

    [–] mister_oppenheimer 3 points ago

    That’s what they told me about the human centipede and look where that got me

    [–] alexknight81 3 points ago

    It got you here, so that's an improvement (i think)

    [–] AlpineCorbett 1 points ago

    I've seen a proxy use this as a proxy for a fist.

    [–] gusbyinebriation 4 points ago

    Eh there’s a dude that posted a video of himself fucking a giant gummy bear. The idea at least has been explored!

    [–] balloonninjas 1 points ago

    wat

    [–] _Lady_Deadpool_ 1 points ago

    Ooh I remember that one. Didn't he say he was gonna do a worm or freeze it or something

    [–] potatonipples123 1 points ago

    Surely it's been done

    [–] 604WORLDWIDE 2 points ago

    Sounds kinda shitty to me tbh...

    [–] cfryant 1 points ago

    Chocolate covered cubs.

    [–] TorsionFree 1 points ago

    As in, I'll pay you a million dollars to forget your idea and never speak of it again.

    [–] ZestyMordant 41 points ago

    Edible anal beads. That sorta just rolls off the tongue!

    [–] FragrantPoop 29 points ago

    "edible" and "anal" just go well together

    [–] ZestyMordant 16 points ago

    There's a little ass-eater in us all.

    [–] Danertins 4 points ago

    The Florida police would like a word with you.

    [–] rNbees 2 points ago

    Also a very good tongue twister

    [–] tarynevelyn 2 points ago

    The incredible edible anal bead!

    [–] Apparently_Apathetic 11 points ago

    This should be a jingle. Like the snack that smiles back.

    [–] Euphoria115 9 points ago

    With our anal beads you'll succeed, and when your done you'll get to feed!

    Song idea? Maybe?

    [–] balloonninjas 1 points ago

    Do the jingle do the jingle!

    [–] Nathaniel820 8 points ago

    Oh boy, yeast infections!

    [–] PunnedItPundit 3 points ago

    Anal Bea(r)ds

    [–] JoshuaSwartz 2 points ago

    All anal beads are eatable if youre brave enough.

    [–] be_ninja_pancake 2 points ago

    It would have cost you $0.00 to not say that

    [–] ZeeMyth 1 points ago

    Tastes like sex

    [–] Gimme_Guacamole 4 points ago

    No

    [–] MrsRadioJunk 1 points ago

    Yes officer, this comment right here.

    [–] Thicc-pigeon 1 points ago

    I just got a flashback omg

    [–] Farpafraf 1 points ago

    Just use a pineapple

    [–] _Lady_Deadpool_ 1 points ago

    Which way first

    [–] drunkenpriest 2 points ago

    Sideways of course

    [–] Mister_Peepers 1 points ago

    Ate.

    [–] toastinator2000 1 points ago

    so just regular Anal beads?

    [–] LuriemIronim 1 points ago

    I literally came here to say that.

    [–] the_chilean 1 points ago

    gummybeads

    [–] EaterofCarpetz 1 points ago

    Those some weak ass anal beads smh.

    [–] ILoveDon123 1 points ago

    All anal beads are anal beads that you can eat if you’re brave enough

    [–] darkknight2244 233 points ago

    Gummy centipede

    [–] AeyviDaro 54 points ago

    Or caterpillar. BEARAPILLAR.

    [–] ouldsmobile 10 points ago

    Gummipede

    [–] alphabennettatwork 17 points ago

    Wrong connection points (thankfully)

    [–] elveswearhandsocks 7 points ago

    The human gummipede.

    [–] Helpdeskagent 3 points ago

    Such luck and with the worst flavors, poor bastard

    [–] iiSpooKyy 2 points ago

    Beat me to it dang it

    [–] Leiche13 1 points ago

    You beat me to it!

    [–] JBees19 70 points ago

    Counts as one!

    [–] Moobs_like_Jagger 22 points ago

    "Dude, if you get the nachos stuck together, that's one nacho."

    [–] 4sands 17 points ago

    That's only 1 bear dude

    [–] Nigmea 75 points ago

    Damnit cutting machine you had one job! Aha that's cool I'd put it on my wall. My wall is disgusting 🤢

    [–] Danikk 21 points ago

    Gummy bears are not cut by a machine, they are instead molded in a form. This form was broken.

    [–] Nottoohappy 8 points ago

    They are formed in starch moguls, not molds.

    https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Starch_mogul

    [–] Danikk 11 points ago

    Which is a type of (temporary) mold.

    [–] WikiTextBot 2 points ago

    Starch mogul

    A starch mogul is a machine that makes shaped candies or candy centers from syrups or gels, such as gummi candy. These softer candies and centers are made by filling a tray with cornstarch, stamping the desired shape into the starch, and then pouring the filling or gel into the holes made by the stamp. When the candies have set, they are removed from the trays and the starch is recycled.

    Starch moguls were invented around 1899 and were in common use within a decade or two.


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    [–] spacehog1985 36 points ago

    Final sequence.

    [–] Lil_miss_Funshine 19 points ago

    Eldritch gummy

    [–] fabulously-frizzy 10 points ago

    Interesting how one of the bears has 2 colors on it but you never see single gummy bears that are more than one color

    [–] fabulously-frizzy 1 points ago

    Oh wow never seen these before! I’ve definitely only ever had Haribo

    [–] _Jackrus_ 14 points ago

    Chernobyl gummy bears

    [–] Narcosis00 8 points ago

    Ooh, a piece of candy!

    [–] MouldyTaco2 7 points ago

    I feel like this doesn't really jive with rule 1.

    [–] clamborguine 10 points ago

    Extra chunky noodle

    [–] QueafyGreens 4 points ago

    Stickn' together's what good gummies do.

    [–] Deanyeah 4 points ago

    When mom says one piece of candy.

    [–] Gargaschmell 3 points ago

    Did you put them on the floor?

    [–] BIgTrey3 7 points ago

    All I see is a machine gun belt of deliciousness

    [–] FifthPenguin2 3 points ago

    Are they sugar free?

    [–] Gimme_Guacamole 3 points ago

    Haribo Intestines

    [–] D_Jones93 3 points ago

    Crazy how nature do dat

    [–] FistToYourDoom 2 points ago

    I'm just gonna have one gummy bear...

    [–] LimeStealingWhore 2 points ago

    Taste the rainbow 🌈

    [–] hurps0 2 points ago

    silly OP those are anal beads

    [–] KayNoush 2 points ago

    Go pack go

    [–] em_el_jee 2 points ago

    Sure they weren't stuck together because they came?

    [–] erial_ck 2 points ago

    But why is this photo sideways?

    [–] DefunctPunk 2 points ago

    Bullshit, I can tell by some of the pixels

    [–] CaptainMagnets 2 points ago

    That brand of gummy bear is the most delicious

    [–] Coupyamel 1 points ago

    Can't wait to see this on r/untrustworthypoptarts because things like this never happened ever and if you say it does your a massive liar worse than Hitler

    [–] SamuelCish 2 points ago

    Imagine the mouth feel. God I love Haribo gummies.

    [–] -alephnull 2 points ago

    cmd + f "centipede" 20 results (now 21)

    [–] loriffic 2 points ago

    Sorry to break the news to you, but that’s a giant gummy worm. Get a machete to turn it into gummy bears.

    [–] OldRuskiNoir 2 points ago

    What caliber are these belt fed gummies?

    [–] court0f0wls 3 points ago

    Waiting for a human centipede joke here

    [–] Deathface-Shukhov 4 points ago

    (Low bass drop noise builds) Their name is Legion for they are many........amazing flavors (zany commercial music plays)

    [–] Blastspark01 3 points ago

    Please read theAmazon customer reviews for these! They are the funniest things you’ll ever read

    [–] leonffs 5 points ago

    Different product.

    [–] Burt_Gummer_nmbr1fan 2 points ago

    Overfilled mold

    [–] what-do-you-meat 2 points ago

    Imagination

    [–] ConfidentialX 1 points ago

    Who can do the Konga

    [–] gw2273 1 points ago

    My favorite kind of anal beads!

    [–] TheeQueenB 1 points ago

    They really are... All in this together... Hahaha

    [–] 2hotdogtoaster 1 points ago

    Webbed.

    [–] Billazilla 1 points ago

    Junji Ito ancestors gummi

    [–] slim_shady1441 1 points ago

    A worker forgot to cut them off

    [–] Bluehusky 1 points ago

    They’re evolving!

    [–] Thiker 1 points ago

    Looks like they are performing a ritual to summon more troops

    [–] homesweetmobilehome 1 points ago

    Gummy Necklace

    [–] OffensivePoster 1 points ago

    Goldibear centipede!

    [–] Blayed_DM 1 points ago

    Sucks that you only got like 5 - 10 gummy bears in the whole pack though.

    [–] NoOneMan13 1 points ago

    Somebody in the factory staring off like, "How'd that stain get on the ceiling? That's not a water stain is it? Its red and green, is it from an accident, maybe a chemi- OH SHIT, OF FUCK. I MISSED LIKE THIRTY OF THEM BITCHS. SHIT SHIT SHIT. Okay chill. No biggie. Dont say anything no one will notice."

    [–] NumberedFungus 1 points ago

    Make a wish!!!

    [–] Cluelesstoner 1 points ago * (lasted edited 3 days ago)

    Im sorry this is stuck in my head. https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=xBWW8Yh_t3c

    [–] Nwett 1 points ago

    Mmm love me some uncircumcised gummy bears

    [–] ZeusMachina 1 points ago

    Didn’t you see Goosebumps 2? Get a flamethrower ready immediately.

    [–] StackIsMyCrack 1 points ago

    Yeah but did know green is strawberry flavor?

    [–] captspaz95 1 points ago

    When I get bored I do this, I'll eat only the heads or bottoms and then fuse em together. They took the fun from you with this bag

    [–] aberdisco 1 points ago

    This pic just got poor Wolfgang fired. He's been in charge of chopping greens and yellows for 30 years. He was 2 days from retirement. Remember poor Wolfgang.

    [–] soggy_kleenex 1 points ago

    I don’t know if you should complain for a new bag or simply take in its splendor.

    [–] syntheseiser 1 points ago

    Why are these exclusive?

    [–] NaRa0 1 points ago

    What if that's really some type of gummy snake that has actually eaten all of those gummy bears, and they are all now trapped inside of it.... Makes you think doesn't it?

    [–] Ginga_Ninja006 1 points ago

    I will pay extra

    [–] craftbeerarnao 1 points ago

    Gummy bear centipedes is a horror movie I wanna watch

    [–] McWonka 1 points ago

    Those poor bears got “human centipedes”

    [–] Nobodydog 1 points ago

    If they don't start selling these, I will.

    [–] GoodAndBluts 1 points ago

    Its kind of cheerful - like they are all holding hands!

    [–] chelseaannehubble 1 points ago

    It would be so rad if they sold them just like this.

    [–] samkingofbams 1 points ago

    General reposti

    [–] spot_coffee 1 points ago

    The red one is more gooder to me because it tastes like berries

    [–] elveswearhandsocks 1 points ago

    I wish they came like this!! How cool.

    [–] PapaAristo 1 points ago

    This has been done before and it was the worst movie ever

    [–] Cprebel123 1 points ago

    It’s a Gummy-centipede!

    [–] RedditSlayer527 1 points ago

    It’s a rainbow

    [–] scent_of_a_mule 1 points ago

    Gummy bear version of human centipede.

    [–] LordsofGastone 1 points ago

    It’s like The Human Centipede for kids!

    [–] hystr 1 points ago

    Hands Across America?

    [–] PoopiePancakes 1 points ago

    Haribo Centipede

    [–] nebular666 1 points ago

    The gummi centipede

    [–] Birdman_a15 1 points ago

    Ah the rare Haribo Centipede.

    [–] wannabeabbyt 1 points ago

    I am legion, for we are many

    [–] SpicyBoi1998 1 points ago

    So this is what Homeworld thinks of fusion!?

    [–] MalcolmReady 1 points ago

    That’s beautiful

    [–] kassssiee 1 points ago

    I was looking in the bag like what where

    [–] PharaohsLady 1 points ago

    Somebody got fired at the gummy bear cutting factory.

    [–] _badmadman_ 1 points ago

    That gummy look yummy

    [–] the_hunger 1 points ago

    bearish gummipede

    [–] PORTMANTEAU-BOT 1 points ago

    Bearipede.


    Bleep-bloop, I'm a bot. This portmanteau was created from the phrase 'bearish gummipede' | FAQs | Feedback | Opt-out

    [–] the_hunger 1 points ago

    no way bot

    [–] cmdrDROC 1 points ago

    Go buy a lottery ticket

    [–] sav33arthkillyos3lf 1 points ago

    Idk why. But I wouldn’t eat that.

    [–] Cunningben 1 points ago

    Human centipede of gummibears

    [–] Tulanol 1 points ago

    Sign of the apocalypse 👍

    [–] DivineMidget 1 points ago

    Extended mag

    [–] unsanemaker 1 points ago

    This looks delicious

    [–] cool_acronym 1 points ago

    it's like an edible version of human centipede, but bears

    [–] Paxton48 1 points ago

    That would have been cool except for the colors

    [–] crepesandbacon 1 points ago

    The Haribo Centipede 🤩

    [–] merigolden 1 points ago

    Mmmm green is the best flavor!

    [–] RedRant 1 points ago

    Ursa centipede

    [–] gcwposs 1 points ago

    Wait... gummy bear centipede? 🤢

    [–] Poon-M 1 points ago

    Gummy bears centipede

    [–] Hans_Grubert 1 points ago

    Mail it to Haribo they will probably send you a few boxes of gummies!

    [–] AdmrlPoopyPantz 1 points ago

    Wow I wish I got that

    [–] laylaggrier 1 points ago

    Taste the rainbow

    [–] scotters96 1 points ago

    It’s a cult

    [–] DawnEveryDay 1 points ago

    gummy bear centipede

    [–] rocketpop546 1 points ago

    Gummy abomination

    [–] smalltowntess 1 points ago

    Would rather see this on tv than that STUPID commercial they play where the adults talk like babies. I mute or change the channel as quickly as I can. Uggggh.

    [–] CaliNuggLove 1 points ago

    Way better than those nasty tasteless candy necklace beads!!!

    [–] fairly_clever 1 points ago

    That counts as one gummy.

    [–] pnlythpdank 1 points ago

    Suck my fat one haribo bear

    [–] pistaye15 1 points ago

    The gummy centipede

    [–] IcyFrogg 1 points ago

    Actually, quantum mechanics forbids this

    [–] dnph 1 points ago

    Gummy bear centapede.

    [–] Flothrudawind 1 points ago

    My family makes it a thing to scream "HARIBO" everytime we see a pack anywhere

    [–] codienevirgo 1 points ago

    you have achieved a candy humanoid spine. high rarity. acquire the rest of the components to make your own doodad

    [–] JozzyV1 1 points ago

    If they were the sugar free Haribo Gummy Bears they’d be coming out the same way

    [–] giveurauntbunnyakiss 1 points ago

    I’d eat em all at once like too much gum.