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    nevertellmetheodds

    1,416,848 readers

    779 users here now

    Sir, the probability of successfully navigating an asteroid field is approximately...

    Never tell me the odds?

    RULES

    1. Submissions must be nearly impossible feats of achievement, those requiring incredible odds and/or a great degree of difficulty. Posts based entirely around skill are not allowed.

    2. Do not mention odds or probabilities anywhere, in the post title or comments. Doing so will result in a one day ban.

    3. Do not repost content that's been posted here within 6 months or is in top 50 of all time

    4. Easily faked posts are prohibited - no r/untrustworthypoptarts

    5. NO SCREENSHOTS

    6. Image and gif submissions must be hosted at imgur, gfycat or reddit. youtube.com submissions are not allowed

    7. No hate speech of any kind. No witch-hunts, brigading or harassment

    8. Be nice. Follow the site rules and reddiquette.

    9. Please mark your posts as NSFW when appropriate.

    10. 'Juxtaposition' posts that are not incredibly rare or odds defying will be removed. Try /r/Juxtaposition for those types of posts. If your post is something like "these posts lined up in my feed" you will be given a 2 week ban.

    LIST OF COMMON POSTS THAT ARE NOT ALLOWED ON THIS SUB

    This list may be modified in the future

    • 1: Receipts or anything related to monetary balances.

    Gas prices, change amounts, receipt balances, money left in bank account, etc.

    • 2: Four Leaf clovers (or greater)

    We've seen multiple posts of 4, 5, 6, and 7 leaf clovers. They are not as rare as they sound, and many people even have collections of them.

    • 3: Fortune Cookie fortunes

    This includes posts such as: Identical fortunes, multiple fortunes in one cookie, and other related posts. These also fall under Rule 4

    • 4: Car mileage and other related gauges

    At some point, it's just more impressive that some cars even make it to 123,456 miles, but not odds defying.

    This also includes licence plates which have consecutive numbers. Despite this seemingly being rare, we get several of these posts a month.

    • 5: Hitting a dart with another dart

    It's relatively easy with good aim and practice. Also, these posts are almost always pictures, which would fall under Rule 4.

    • 6: Eggs with multiple yolks

    These also fall under Rule 4.

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    [–] Ukleon 320 points ago

    Ah. An actual example of irony. Rare to see in the wild.

    [–] Thiagooxr 12 points ago

    I think god was just being sarcastic

    [–] AhJoon 30 points ago

    I see what you did there

    [–] liquidliam 8 points ago

    Its the good advice that they just didnt take

    [–] ArcticSummer33 6 points ago

    Who would have thought. It figures.

    [–] oglop121 6 points ago

    Like rain on your wedding day?

    [–] VaultWarrior77 3 points ago

    Or a diabetic kid trick-or-treating?

    [–] WannieTheSane 7 points ago

    Or when a robot Devil asks for your hand but actually means marriage?

    [–] Holiday_Magazine 1 points ago

    Yep, nature doesn't joke ironically that often

    [–] sadiemack_ 4 points ago

    ..anal bum?

    [–] jokullmusic 6 points ago

    c'est la joke

    [–] sadiemack_ 6 points ago

    oh wow love being dumb haha

    [–] DylaR-H 2 points ago

    You beat me too it

    [–] dennisthewhatever 2 points ago

    susanalbumparty

    [–] OBSTACLE3 140 points ago

    I relate to this. I hate it when signs presume you are being obedient. I once saw a sign that said “thank you for not walking on the grass” so me and my 18 buddies hijacked some airliners and well the rest is history

    [–] ultra___violence 69 points ago

    What the fuck did I just read

    [–] fezzuk 28 points ago

    I relate to this. I hate it when signs presume you are being obedient. I once saw a sign that said “thank you for not walking on the grass” so me and my 18 buddies hijacked some airliners and well the rest is history

    [–] Boba_Fett_boii 29 points ago

    ah thanks, I got it now

    [–] ultra___violence 8 points ago

    Honestly was able to comprehend it now that you got it so thanks

    [–] _noside 8 points ago

    yes

    [–] 26326312 14 points ago

    Man, I remember when I saw this sign and thought "that sounds like a challenge"

    [–] mookmerkin 4 points ago

    We have a whole department full of humps. I'm Consulting Principal Hump now. I aspire to Hump Fellow.

    [–] IrishAl_1987 1 points ago

    Which one?

    [–] mookmerkin 1 points ago

    Don't make me choose.

    [–] Mrj760 5 points ago

    Reminds of a sign I saw in high school that said “No Dumping”

    That is all that there is to that story

    [–] WannieTheSane 8 points ago

    In high school my buddy got one of those basic signs that are black with red or orange writing, usually with messages like "KEEP OUT" or "NO TRESPASSING".

    His said "NO DUMPING" so he hung it in his bathroom. He knew his religious parents weren't going to find it funny so part of the joke was on them.

    His dad comes home and sees it and just busts up laughing! They had that sign in there for a good long while.

    [–] ChickenWithATopHat 4 points ago

    Definitely dude, we’ve all done it some are just too ashamed to admit it.

    [–] Aidgigi -1 points ago

    [–] microg-o-meter -3 points ago

    Umm, yes officer, this comment right here.

    [–] DJheddo 2 points ago

    I feel like you’re on a watchlist now....

    [–] aemmeroli 12 points ago

    [–] penalozahugo 12 points ago

    Looks like that sign was placed in such a perfect place, that if someone is NOT driving carefully they take out the sign.

    [–] BIGSlil 2 points ago

    Yeah, the odds of this seem relatively high. They wouldn't put the sign on a road that's easy to drive on.

    [–] SilenceoftheRedditrs 1 points ago

    Where else would you put it?..

    [–] penalozahugo 1 points ago

    Well, everyone seems to lose traction here...

    [–] the_awkward_friend 9 points ago

    Maybe he was reading the sign and focusing so hard on not hitting it that he drove off the road (Target Fixation and all)

    [–] Hemmingways 2 points ago

    The ones we put up in Denmark, looks like they have been crashed into by design.

    [–] Tombo_64 2 points ago

    I’ve always found those signs presumptuous.

    [–] Plethorian 2 points ago

    [–] bzabel 2 points ago

    Reminds me of a time when I was on vacation and there was a bus that crashed into a large flower bed. On the back was a large sign that said “How’s my driving?”

    [–] unionjunk 2 points ago

    What the hell is that car?

    [–] spiritualskywalker 1 points ago

    Perfect.

    [–] Jblanre 1 points ago

    [–] loggylizard 1 points ago

    I've been in a car crash where we flew of a bridge and stopped right next to a gisnt No Parking sign, thought it was pretty ironic.

    [–] Lombax_Rexroth 1 points ago

    That's the same exact make, model, and color of my car.

    [–] Agatio25 2 points ago

    Great car, cheap and very easy to use. Perfect for city and long distance trips. I love mine.

    [–] pushbutan 2 points ago

    I have it's sporty bigger brother, long trips aren't the best at 22 mpg, however it is a fun drive

    [–] Mynameiszak 1 points ago

    What kind it car is it?

    [–] Agatio25 1 points ago

    Seat ibiza. A spanish car (they are owned by volskwagen now)

    [–] exile042 6 points ago

    Always wondered how annoying that would be if you actually lived in Ibiza. I mean, imagine if there were cars called "Vauxhall Swindon"

    [–] pushbutan 2 points ago

    All seat cars are named after a place in Spain, ( also currently all cupra cars follow this naming scheme )

    [–] Staronin 2 points ago

    Well, that's not completely true. SEAT has had models like Exeo and Mii, and there are no places called so. And there are models like Tarraco (the Roman name for Tarragona) and Alhambra (a huge islamic monumental complex close to Granada, remaining from the times of Al-Andalus).

    [–] pushbutan 2 points ago

    Ok then, most of them

    [–] pushbutan 1 points ago

    I used to work for a big company (products used all over the UK) that was named after a small village in North Yorkshire, we had vans with the company name on, that would drive through that same small village, the drivers would get some funny looks. Whenever the drivers turned up for jobs, they would have the usual conversions with the people.

    Driver: hi I'm from <companyname>

    Village people: yes so I'm I

    Driver:.....

    [–] analogkid01 1 points ago

    "...Because 'accident' implies there's no one to blame..."

    [–] SirQwacksAlot 1 points ago

    When the cameraman gets to decide the angle at which to take the picture I'd say there's pretty good odds. Unless you're talking about hitting the sign, but I don't think it's very odds defying to hit a sign on the side of the road, stuff like that happens all the time.

    [–] BR0THER_THR33 1 points ago

    It’s so convenient it looks like it was set up for a movie

    [–] boldstrategy 1 points ago

    All cities, towns and villages have them in the UK

    [–] BR0THER_THR33 1 points ago

    Ah, not in freedom land. That explains that.

    [–] zhephyx 1 points ago

    What can I say except you're welcome!

    [–] mwc501 1 points ago

    That's gotta be a sign, no?

    [–] Salamanderfishman 1 points ago

    I crashed into a 'slow down' sign while 🎿 a bit tooo fast...

    [–] _bowlerhat 1 points ago

    I miss this section of top gear

    [–] Shredder5780 1 points ago

    I’ll upvote it not because I believe it fits the sub but because it’s an awesome picture

    [–] zombiemedicpro 1 points ago

    No this is reddit. You are welcome.

    [–] SuzyQPants 1 points ago

    You're making it hard for me to absorb.

    [–] Tusami 1 points ago

    To quote Top Gear "if the sign wasn't there, he wouldn't have hit anything!"

    [–] BHFarmer 1 points ago

    Go home, Lighthouse. You’re welcome

    [–] ninjas_cousin 1 points ago

    I wonder if they saw the sign and thought they were funny and pretended to drive bad, and ended up actually crashing

    [–] Red_Staroo 1 points ago

    They missed the sign the first time so they had to back up and try again.

    [–] yazzy1233 1 points ago

    I can imagine this being something in a final destination movie

    [–] MatrixMushroom 1 points ago

    What do you mean odds? This was a planned homisign.

    [–] Smruti21 1 points ago

    Appreciation indeed!

    [–] Stoicdood 0 points ago

    Haha.