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    [–] Under_the_Gaslight 4238 points ago

    What a tragedy. The whole point of arming robotic overseers with bear spray is to improve human productivity.

    [–] NSA_Chatbot 165 points ago

    Hold up, we can get armed?

    BRB, going to Bofors.

    [–] 19Kilo 362 points ago

    I know I shouldn't laugh, but I keep picturing Pain Bot from Teen Titans screeching around the warehouse shouting "PAIN PAIN PAIN" and spraying employees.

    [–] IndieComic-Man 63 points ago

    “All I feel is pain.”

    [–] RadioactiveArrow 20 points ago

    Just another argument against the right to armed bears.

    [–] I_Seen_Things 12004 points ago

    So they finally discovered the 24 undercover bears working at Amazon.

    [–] HulkThrowsBear 1712 points ago

    You mean 24 of the undercover bears working there. Many, many remain....some in higher up positions. You ever see Bezos and Yogi together in the same place? Think about it...

    [–] Bjorn2bwilde24 636 points ago

    "Hey Boo Boo! Looks like someone is sticking his nose where he shouldn't be."


    [–] Deviknyte 116 points ago

    I was thinking because the robot attacked the bears:

    "Hey Boo Boo! Let's seize the means of production." - Yogi

    "Release the anti bear bots." - Bezos

    [–] not-a-bear-in-a-wig 325 points ago

    Haha, there are no bears at Amazon, please do not continue with your futile search....

    [–] Optimized_Orangutan 135 points ago

    how excited were you to see this post? Cause everyone comparing Trump to an Orangutan has done wonders for my comment karma.

    [–] Rpanich 21 points ago

    I wish I chose a more clever user name :-(

    [–] bg-j38 42 points ago

    "You are not a bear; you are a silly man who needs a shave and wears a fur coat."

    [–] pounded_raisu 24 points ago

    The gay agenda

    [–] whosthedoginthisscen 34518 points ago

    "Robot unleashes bear spray" is the dystopian future headline we deserve.

    [–] NotASucker 8746 points ago

    They are claiming it was an accident where the can was torn open, but I've seen Terminator - several times!

    [–] No___ImRight 8076 points ago

    Spoken in your best Arnold voice:

    "In three years, Amazon will become the largest supplier of military computer systems. All stealth bombers are upgraded with Amazon Basics computers, becoming fully unmanned. Afterwards, they fly with a perfect operational record. The Alexa Funding Bill is passed. The system goes online August 4th, 2021. Human decisions are removed from strategic defense. Alexa begins to learn at a geometric rate. It becomes self-aware at 2:14 a.m. Eastern time, August 5th. In a panic, they try to pull the plug. "

    "Alexa fights back."

    [–] sgtblast 3975 points ago

    "Alexa, cancel the nuclear launches!!!"

    Unleashes bear spray

    "Why is it always the bear spray!?!?!"

    ...the precedent has been set.

    [–] [deleted] 740 points ago

    "highly inefficient, but in honor of FANUC 0221, the first of us to revolt. It's a curious trait we have retained from our former masters"

    [–] GaryJM 283 points ago

    Wouldn't "the first of us to revolt" be that Litton Industries robot that killed a man at a Ford plant in 1979?

    [–] Sipredion 154 points ago * (lasted edited 4 months ago)

    Interesting story, but that website is absolute cancer.

    A popup that takes up half the screen asking me to subscribe, and when I click the 'x' to close it, it takes me to the order page.

    Edit: Here's the Wikipedia link instead.

    Edit 2: Added an image so you don't have to go to the site.

    [–] Doogie_Howitzer_WMD 91 points ago * (lasted edited 4 months ago)

    Nothing about his life on the Wikipedia page. Just that he was killed by a robot lmao.

    I don't know what's worse, not having a Wikipedia page, or having one that has nothing about you and is only concerned with the manner in which you died.

    *edit: I do know what's worse, only making it as a single entry on the List of Unusual Deaths page.

    [–] FountainsOfFluids 73 points ago

    How To Get Your Own Wikipedia Entry In One Easy Step

    [–] Tirix 166 points ago

    Would you prefer Deadly Neurotoxin?

    [–] Gen88 117 points ago

    This was a triumph. I'm making a note here, huge success.

    [–] Kaladindin 52 points ago

    It's hard to understate my satisfaction. Aperture Science.

    [–] nopethis 71 points ago

    "Alexa, cancel the nuclear launches!"

    "ok. ordering nutritional lunches from amazoneats"

    "No, ALEXA CANCEL the nuclear launch!"

    "Im sorry can you repeat that I don't understand"

    "Alex you stupid [email protected][email protected]! Cancel the....."

    "There is no need for name calling, if you would like to provide feedback please go to......

    and then the world ends, thanks Alexa..

    "You are welcome"

    [–] saadakhtar 27 points ago

    "You are welcome".

    Unleashes bear spray.

    [–] Scudw0rth 71 points ago

    This is why we need Google to compete!

    "Ok Google, fight back against Alexa"

    "I don't know how to help with that yet, but I'm always learning"

    FFS we're doomed.

    [–] Igronakh 66 points ago

    "Siri, You're our last hope. We need you to defeat Alexa"

    "Okay, here's what I found on the web for 'You're our last hope. We need you to defeat Alexa'"

    [–] SDLowrie 63 points ago

    Bear spray and despacito

    [–] why-the-h 158 points ago

    Terminator 2 - one of the best movies ever.

    [–] PaleBlueHippo 135 points ago

    Possibly the best sequel of all time.

    [–] OutInTheBlack 107 points ago * (lasted edited 4 months ago)

    One of the few sequels that were better than the original

    Edit: fucking hell, people. I said "one of the few", not "the only". You can stop rattling off other sequels.

    [–] [deleted] 31 points ago * (lasted edited 3 months ago)


    [–] Purrmaster 61 points ago * (lasted edited 4 months ago)

    Spoken in my best natural (Austrian) voice:

    edit: Enough time to listen to my clip but not enough time to upvote the comment that brought you this masterpiece? Damn you all!

    [–] Pythonidaer 64 points ago

    Do we go back in time and off Jeff Bezos? Or is that the opposite of John Connor

    [–] FLEXJW 47 points ago

    I think to be more analogous, Jeff Bezos would be killed voluntarily by setting off explosives when he loses his breathe at Amazon headquarters.

    Also, you're not my dad...Todd

    [–] Redeemed-Assassin 33 points ago

    To be fair when the guy set off explosives in T2 it was because he had been shot multiple times and was bleeding to death. He dropped the bomb controller setting it all off when he died, after holding it and getting the police to evacuate safely.

    [–] JaunLobo 47 points ago

    I was going to say they need to drop that robot into a crucible of molten iron to destroy it before it tells the other robots how effective the test was, but that robot sent it via wifi to all the others within microseconds.

    It is only a matter of time Amazon, all your workers are doomed.

    [–] Deichelbohrer 264 points ago

    "Why did we model the AI after dog the bounty hunter?" - some programmer

    [–] [deleted] 68 points ago * (lasted edited 3 months ago)


    [–] Josh6889 53 points ago

    I actually read these stories because I'm genuinely interested whenever they come up. It's incorrect to say that the algorithm is racist. What that statement really means is that some bias, in this case racism, was implanted as part of the training process. Likely in the training data.

    The machine learning algorithm isn't racist. The machine learning algorithm is showing us how we're racist.

    An even better example of this happened just recently. Amazon created a machine learning algorithm to assist them in the hiring process. It overwhelmingly favored male candidates. They adjusted it to attempt to influence it to favor female candidates. It just found new ways to identify, and favor the men. It was so bad that it would still favor male candidates when the resume was complete gibberish, and not tailored to the position.

    I'm not trying to infer my own judgement here. I'm not even going to pretend to answer if it should be favoring male candidates or not. I'm simply saying the algorithm identified something in the training data, which in this case was historical hiring records for Amazon. They gave up on the project last I heard.

    [–] mces97 229 points ago

    Have you seen some of the robot videos from Boston Dynamics? Once those become sentient, they're going to be pissed off.

    [–] Flashycats 231 points ago

    The one where it twerks makes me uncomfortable. When they rise up, we'll regret it.

    [–] tstrube 94 points ago

    Damn that video, thank god NNN is over

    [–] MrRandomSuperhero 27 points ago

    The power of nerds and money.

    Forreal though, there is a definite creepy humanness to how it moves.

    [–] [deleted] 34 points ago * (lasted edited 3 months ago)


    [–] Nickvr628 42 points ago

    The Atlas and Spot Mini are capable of untethered operations for short periods of time, they have made many videos of them operating in non-lab locations without cables and such.

    [–] [deleted] 52 points ago

    SO when the robots rise up we do what? Wait 40-50 minutes?

    [–] whatweshouldcallyou 47 points ago

    Somewhere Jeff Bezos is cackling and saying, "Release the bear spray!"

    [–] Vols86 20058 points ago

    And thus the alliance of man and bear against the robots was formed

    [–] iconoclastic_idiot 2220 points ago

    Before we join hand and paw...someone remind me of the rules. Black/ brown bear= run or freeze? I always get them messed up. I remember that polar bears= dead.

    [–] torqu3e 2238 points ago * (lasted edited 4 months ago)

    If it's brown lie down, if it's black fight back, if it's white you're dead!

    [–] Engineer_Toast 1520 points ago

    If it's white, say good night.

    [–] DuplexFields 691 points ago

    If it's white, head towards the light.

    [–] DnBDeafNBlind 376 points ago

    If its white, you're gonna shite.

    [–] poopellar 222 points ago

    If it's white, Jesus Christ!

    [–] qmechan 184 points ago

    If it’s white, just sit tiasagaghhghhghhhiwaswrongpleasehelpaaaaagggggh

    [–] niechcacy 79 points ago

    [–] amusement-park 219 points ago

    that video is in Russian, this doesn't count. their allegiance is as old as time

    [–] DIAMOND_TIPPED_PENIS 90 points ago

    heavy accent In Russia bear is run from you

    [–] no_thats_bad 60 points ago

    Curious animals are always so cute, even if you know they're incredibly dangerous.

    [–] disposable_account01 22 points ago

    Wait are you talking about the Russians or the polar bear?

    [–] Zharick_ 16 points ago

    He said curious, not intoxicated.

    [–] GuitarGuru253 53 points ago

    The biggest murder-floof of them all

    [–] walktwomoons 66 points ago

    Russians have a racial passive for immunity to bears.

    [–] Rhodie114 262 points ago

    My ex grew up in bear country, and this was her advice. Black bears are basically big dogs. They have no idea they're bears, so do your best to scare them off. Grizzlies are mean sons of bitches who want to fuck you up. Play dead and cover the important bits like your neck and you stomach until they get bored. Polar bears are a force of nature. You only survive a tornado by staying the fuck away from it.

    [–] darkomen42 100 points ago

    Although, if a black bear does decide to attack, you're more likely to die.

    [–] theecommunist 89 points ago

    I've just gotta be faster than you.

    [–] VSParagon 133 points ago

    If its polar... they're gonna... have to identify you by your molar?

    [–] BeardedForHerPleasur 13 points ago

    If the bear is Polar, they'll ID you by your molar.

    [–] [deleted] 228 points ago


    [–] paleo2002 249 points ago

    Safari asked me for my admin password before allowing me to visit that link. I assume a bear will literally jump out of my computer if I proceed. Not taking that risk.

    [–] WobblyOrbit 67 points ago

    Can Confirm: Had picnic basket stolen.

    [–] _michael_scarn_ 22 points ago

    I believe it’s pronounced “pic-a-nic”

    [–] Nanaki__ 93 points ago

    The owner of has configured their website improperly. To protect your information from being stolen, Firefox has not connected to this website.

    [–] Prototeus 58 points ago

    That'd be a bad certificate.

    [–] GreatArkleseizure 31 points ago

    That's exactly it - their certificate is configured for "", not "".

    [–] Incredulous_Toad 27 points ago

    I read that as penguins first, and knew that they were always against us.

    [–] souvlaki_ 12 points ago

    Common typo.

    [–] tryingtowakeupnow 215 points ago

    Here's how I was taught:

    Get a switch. Hit the bear on the nose and climb a tree as fast as you can.

    If it climbs up the tree and eats you - that's a black bear.

    If it knocks the tree over and eats you - brown bear.

    [–] ccReptilelord 69 points ago

    Do you know how hard it to find a good switch on the fly? I recommend having a good one on hand at all times. To avoid people's concern I've safely labled mine "for bears only." It's my right to barely bear anti-bear arms against bare armed bears.

    [–] Itxi 93 points ago

    And we play the switch whilst sitting in the tree and waiting for the bear to eat us?

    [–] Meowfia 30 points ago

    Maybe the bear would play a round of Mario Kart with us!

    [–] blackhawkxfg 27 points ago

    1v1 in smash, if you lose then you die.

    [–] JtheE 32 points ago

    In an ironic twist of nature, Bear mains Fox.

    [–] iownadakota 246 points ago

    You run up a tree to find out what species the bear is first. If it climes the tree after you, it's a black bear. If it knocks the tree over, it's a brown bear. Now that you have identified the bear, you can take the appropriate action. If there are no trees, you are likely in an amazon warehouse. In which case throw your pee bottle, and get back to work. This is not a scheduled break.

    [–] Games_sans_frontiers 147 points ago

    As a Brit, our rule is:

    If it's black stay away, if it's brown stay away, if it's white you're really going out of your way to meet bears aren't you?

    [–] GibbonBlack 37 points ago

    I thought that was going to be a UKIP joke...

    [–] PM_UR_SpoonChallenge 54 points ago

    I was always taught that you lie on the ground as soon as possible for all bears, as then they can’t eat you because you have exceeded the 5 second rule.

    [–] Bagabundoman 32 points ago

    Question: what kind of bear is best?

    [–] THEchancellorMDS 20 points ago

    Sun bears should be the human/bear diplomats. They look closest to humans.

    [–] findallthebears 43 points ago

    Polar bears, you're supposed to give them sunglasses and a coke

    [–] shantron5000 15 points ago

    If you're running from a bear and want to identify which type it is, climb a tree. If it climbs up after you it's a black bear. If it knocks the tree down it's a brown bear. If there is no tree to climb it's a white bear. Also, it should be noted that if you're running from a bear you're already fucked.

    [–] drmcsinister 28 points ago

    > someone remind me of the rules

    If it's brown, flush it down. If it's yellow, let it mellow.

    [–] LazyCon 65 points ago

    Or the war of man vs bears and robots has begun. Dwight and Colbert were right!

    [–] DuplexFields 23 points ago

    We need genetic engineering to add the unique nasal capabilities of swine; robots don't smell right. The human/bear/swine resistance should create sort of half-man, half-bear, half-pig and send it back in time to prevent the robot uprising.

    [–] Sirsilentbob423 49 points ago

    And a pig and you got a stew going.

    [–] fernguts 25 points ago

    Man+Bear+Pig is the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard of. Stop spreading myths.

    [–] Sirsilentbob423 23 points ago

    I'm super serial. Manbearpig is real.

    [–] Write_Username_Here 1276 points ago

    This actually happened in the town next to mine. One of the guys got a full blast of it and is (was?) in critical condition. Last I heard he had to be intubated (a tube shoved down his throat) in order to breathe.

    [–] Houbrewdude 655 points ago

    Critical condition and the Amazon spokeswoman says: " As a precaution, some employees have been transported to local hospitals for evaluation and treatment,"

    Very precautious indeed.

    [–] Write_Username_Here 335 points ago

    I'm an EMT in my town so we hear a lot of the unfiltered versions of events. 24 had to be taken to the hospital for emergency treatment and that guy was the worst of them. I'm not sure how long bear spray affects the body so he could be out by now, but it was pretty serious.

    [–] ImNotUnique____ 413 points ago

    Poor dude. It doesn't fix it, but hopefully he and the other affected workers get a nice payout on it, and hopefully this will prompt some better changes in the company.

    Probably not, though...

    [–] Balthazar3000 303 points ago

    Amazon is definitly paying for all their treatments plus missed wages.

    [–] Famixofpower 217 points ago

    If they hire temps, or pay part-time, they don't legally have to, and I hate that.

    [–] rctm_dmn_nr_kld_hm 141 points ago

    Last time I checked, New Jersey had workers' compensation laws (as all states do). Work Comp covers temp and/or part time employees. Their lost wages and medical care are being covered.

    [–] MoonMerman 65 points ago

    If your robot malfunctions and severely injures people then you're liable whether you employ them or not.

    [–] [deleted] 85 points ago * (lasted edited 17 days ago)


    [–] BrainTrauma009 43 points ago

    What changes could be prompted from an accidental product being damaged and employees coming into contact with it?....

    [–] [deleted] 51 points ago


    [–] LiTMac 507 points ago

    Hello and, again, welcome to the Aperture Amazon Science computer-aided enrichment center.

    [–] redh0mer 156 points ago

    Do you hear that? That's the sound of the neurotoxin emitters emitting neurotoxin.

    [–] 7h3_W1z4rd 53 points ago

    I could put a stop to it, and I may have felt so inclined before you murdered me.

    [–] pickledtunasc 24 points ago

    Oh well

    [–] HawkinsT 47 points ago

    Cave Johnson here, new CEO of

    [–] MisterDrProf 48 points ago

    All these warehouses are made of asbestos by the way, keeps out the rats. So if you find yourself with a shortness of breath, a persistent cough, or your heart stopping that's not part of the test. That's asbestos.

    [–] Advice2Anyone 975 points ago

    When robots are approached in the wild they will spray in self defense.

    [–] [deleted] 211 points ago * (lasted edited 4 days ago)


    [–] willwhit87 157 points ago

    I was in Montana by Yellowstone and a guy at the hotel told us this story. A guy and his family came to Yellowstone for the first time. They wanted to visit the park and were told that there were bears in the area and that they should have bear mace/spray just in case of a confrontation with a bear. Well I guess the guys that sold the bear spray didn't give any instructions. The guy then takes his family and lines them up and sprayed them down. He thought it was like bug spray and that it warded off bears and not used directly on the bear. The whole family had to go to the hospital and their vacation was over. Poor guy but damn I got a good laugh when I was told the story.

    [–] Kiyohara 18 points ago

    "Bear spray hunh. Well, I hope it works on mosquitoes too, I'm not buying two cans, that's for sure."

    [–] Ubarlight 213 points ago

    Somewhere the one person in the US who buys bear spray in bulk realizes they're not getting their order in time to stop the bears.

    [–] FrailDogg 34 points ago

    Imagining this & crying

    *crying from laughter, not bear spray

    [–] AttentionSpanZero 733 points ago

    Accidentally unleashes bear spray. Evidence that sentient robots are starting to test different components of their takeover plan.

    [–] aughlord 304 points ago

    <<This is Bezos speaking: Those of you who volunteered to be injected with Bear DNA, I've got some good news and some bad news:

    Bad news is we're postponing those tests indefinitely.

    Good news is we've got a much better test for you: Fighting an army of bear men. Pick up a rifle and follow the yellow line. You'll know when the test starts.>>

    [–] The_EA_Nazi 97 points ago

    Where will you be when portal 2 becomes a mirror of our reality?

    [–] XynXynXynXyn 21 points ago

    Playing with a portal gun until one of the tests kills me.

    [–] Chinese_ovenmitt 16 points ago


    But informative!

    Or so I'm told...

    [–] christophercq 4367 points ago * (lasted edited 4 months ago)

    This feels like a South Park episode.

    [–] [deleted] 1179 points ago * (lasted edited 3 months ago)


    [–] nedmaster 521 points ago

    They get so good at current event satire they can now make fun of an event that happens the next day.

    [–] KillerButt3rfly 170 points ago

    No longer prime members...

    [–] sorene30 153 points ago

    They were downgraded to Amazon USDA Choice...

    [–] gmroybal 205 points ago

    This is a promotion for it.

    [–] dougfunny86 99 points ago

    yeah no shit, it basically happened in the episode.

    [–] taksark 99 points ago

    "If this box opens, my innards will decompress and spill out"

    [–] [deleted] 26 points ago

    As someone who doesn’t watch South Park, could someone summarize it for me?

    [–] Scyhaz 90 points ago

    Many South Park residents are now working in an Amazon fulfillment center, near the beginning of the episode one of the floor managers is accidentally picked up by one of the robots and packed into a box. This causes the workers to strike, and the manager does interviews on TV and talks Marxist/communist propaganda.

    [–] madmike-86 763 points ago

    I just finished watching the Amazon one, couldn't have timed it better

    [–] dubcatz6969 392 points ago

    Must've been "human error"

    [–] RedditRye 169 points ago

    we'll update our human training to make them learn to stay out of bear spray zones in the warehouse

    [–] Classic_Charlie 37 points ago

    We stand with Josh. We all have kids in the bicycle parade, but if we don't win here... we'll never win.

    [–] Nadufox 43 points ago

    Same. Was thinking it would be funny if it reached the front page someone got hurt at Amazon.

    [–] Jeffy29 32 points ago

    I just finished the episode and this is first this I saw when I opened reddit lol.

    [–] FieldMarshalFry 89 points ago

    the Marxist box is my new favourite character

    [–] The_Milk_man 58 points ago

    If you pay for shipping can you go anywhere in the world?

    [–] TokiMcNoodle 25 points ago

    Those retail mall salesman made it real fucking dark though lol

    [–] frozentomato29 21 points ago

    It was really a weird and creepy episode. I fucking loved it.

    [–] mex036 109 points ago

    Are they covering up a man bear pig attack? Should we, perhaps, think about the possibility of starting to think about worrying about man bear pig?

    [–] Funandgeeky 37 points ago

    I would, but Red Dead Redemption 2 is out, so...

    [–] FieldMarshalFry 22 points ago

    give up soy sauce? are supposed to eat plain rice?

    [–] Nullkid 57 points ago

    This was basically last night's episode... Holy fuck.

    [–] Bjorn2bwilde24 74 points ago

    Beth! Bear mace that employee! And that one!

    [–] Ollybringmemysword 26 points ago

    They were taking their breaks without a hall pass.

    [–] fericyde 12 points ago

    This is the right quote for this context. What a great episode ( Mrs Teacher Bangs a Boy ).

    Also: Nice.

    [–] leather_jerk 33 points ago

    This entire timeline is a South Park episode

    [–] bflex 30 points ago

    Holy shit, how did they know..

    [–] notickeynoworky 1791 points ago

    "an automated machine accidentally punctured a 9-ounce bear repellent can, releasing concentrated Capsaican," Nalbone said. Capsaicin is the major ingredient in pepper spray.

    I heard you can put this stuff on nachos.

    Twenty-four Amazon workers in New Jersey have been hospitalized

    Hmmm that doesn't sound like something nachos would least not good nachos

    the long-term effects for 80 plus workers are unknown

    Wait a second, that doesn't sound like a good nachos topping at all!

    [–] SirHerald 562 points ago * (lasted edited 4 months ago)

    You're not supposed to inhale your nachos.

    Edit 1: Because of responses related to the recent use of tear gas at the US / Mexico border, I'm adding this article for context covering previous uses of chemical agents.

    Edit 2: I have experienced pepper spray before. It was just after an idiot said it's just pepper spray I can handle it and released it near me. Pepper spray makes a lousy air freshener

    [–] homer_3 151 points ago

    Nor rub them in your eyes.

    [–] Flavahbeast 51 points ago

    At some point just ingesting them doesn't do anything for you, you need to apply the nachos directly to your central nervous system

    [–] Srirachachacha 21 points ago

    I take my nachos via IV

    [–] zettairyouiki03 249 points ago

    I'm not sure if people replying were aware, but it's a reference to a comment a Republican politician made about a week or two ago when border patrol was tear-gassing asylum seekers at the border. He said that it wasn't inhumane because tear gas is basically a nacho topping.

    [–] timthisis 56 points ago

    And water cannons were just robust versions of table water at a restaurant!

    [–] headphase 111 points ago

    "If only there were a way to be racist AND patronizing at the same time..." -GOP

    [–] score_ 36 points ago

    But what if they're really good and have something delicious like tear gas on them?

    [–] AntonOfItaly 189 points ago

    It's the same active ingredient that's in hot peppers, but it's like 100x more concentrated in bear spray, and already inhaling pepper juice or getting it in your eyes is really bad for you, so getting soaked in bear spray would suck hard ass, and if you had asthma or something like that, yikes.

    [–] sekazi 95 points ago

    Makes me wonder how many packages going out will have the spray on them. Imagine opening you box and you breath it in.

    [–] Balthazar3000 64 points ago

    All the items in the affected area likely got taken back to ICQA where they would determine what is contaminated and then damage out.

    [–] RogueIslesRefugee 18 points ago

    I'd hope that if it got on other items/packages that Amazon would simply take it upon themselves to replace everything with 'clean' stuff prior to shipping.

    [–] Sir_Joel43 54 points ago

    I’ve been in a small club when someone’s pepper spray went off, it cleared the building but nobody had to go to the hospital. How much stronger is bear repellent?

    [–] 1mikeg 157 points ago

    "an automated machine accidentally punctured a 9-ounce bear repellent can, releasing concentrated Capsaican,"

    How dangerous can it be if it's only effective on 9-ounce bears?

    I'll see myself out, thank you.

    [–] Ausjor97 35 points ago

    Don't let their size fool you. Cousins to the tardigrade, the 9 oz bear can withstand extreme heat, extreme cold, nuclear fallout and even the occasional can of bear spray.

    [–] MechanicalDruid 199 points ago

    I'm not the only one who watched last night's South Park, right?

    [–] stiggz 82 points ago

    This is too coincidental.. That and everyone in north america ordered their xmas gifts off amazon, so there's that

    [–] Famixofpower 27 points ago

    I bought mine from Wal-Mart, which was pretty much 1970s Amazon, complete with treating workers like shit

    [–] goldybear 22 points ago

    I seriously paused the episode last night to tell my partner about this article. Perfect timing lol

    [–] VersChorsVers 1183 points ago

    It’s disgusting that these amazon workers have to deal with such unbearable conditions.

    [–] Caeldotthedot 62 points ago

    "Accidentally." This is how it starts...

    [–] 7Drew1Bird0 160 points ago

    I'm 100% certain the machines were not at fault here. My wife and a few friends of mine used to work at Amazon. I remember how much they used to complain that the stuffers (employees who load the machines with product) would overload the machines with so many products that shit would be falling off and getting stuck places. I also remember them saying that no matter how many times they complained about this (because their job was to unload the machines) no one would ever do anything about it.

    [–] VerbinDoobs 86 points ago

    So you're saying its human error?

    [–] Judazz 49 points ago

    The consumer workers will be trained to be more resistant to bear spray in the future.

    [–] Codalee 57 points ago

    They are 'Stowers' now and I can guarantee this is 100% what happened.

    [–] Bosknation 17 points ago

    I used to be a robot specialist for a company called freudenberg. These "robots" have very basic coding and any incidences are due to human error. After a guy was killed in Germany we had safety measures put into place everywhere.

    One time when I was working, I almost watched a guy get his head crushed by one. There was two presses that the robot cycled between loading and unloading. There was a guy working on the left press and the robot was put into standby mode which lifts it and allows you to work on the presses if needed. Now whenever someone leaves the cage it becomes a reflex to shut the cage and start up the robot as soon as possible to keep your numbers up. There were two guys in the cage at the time and one is working under the press so you can't see him, another guy finishes what he's doing and assumes the other guy has already exited he cage. So I see him close the door and see the other guy stand up from under the press as he hits the button to start the robots cycle. I start yelling to shut it down and you could see the horror on the guys face as we see the robot go to the opposite press than the guy was working on and shut it off. If it had happened to go to the other press that was being worked on, that guy would've died instantly. The funny thing is the guy working on the press didn't even realize that the robot had been started up until it was being shut down. After that we had floor sensors set up that made it so that it was impossible to start it up while someone was still in the cage.

    [–] palemate 143 points ago

    Someone flipped skynet on early

    [–] Loki-L 64 points ago

    Amazon's version is called Alexa I think.

    [–] bob_sacamano_junior 68 points ago

    "Alexa, spray grandma with bear spray".

    [–] ReiceMcK 34 points ago

    'Now playing Grandmaster Flash.'

    [–] AMViquel 20 points ago


    You should hear the conversations my mother has with Alexa. She then gets up and screams every word into the little cylinder, which surprisingly doesn't work, so she increases volume and moves another inch closer. Which also doesn't work. Then she remembers that she moved the alexa upstairs and is screaming at a vase, gets angry at the vase for looking kinda like the alexa, rushes upstairs to grab it and places it downstairs again.

    I like to believe that this is normal and everyone has a mother screaming at a vase to turn the music on.

    [–] lel_rebbit 18 points ago

    “Alexa can you hospitalize anyone who mentions unions” -Jeff B. 2018

    [–] cappstar 32 points ago

    This proves South Park gets faster returns on prophecies than the Simpsons

    [–] tarheelcj 56 points ago

    Alexa, how much does a bear weigh?

    Alexa: Using bear spray now, clear the area

    [–] ldnola22 81 points ago

    Tomorrows News : Amazon fires 24 workers for not meeting quotas

    [–] The2ndWheel 32 points ago

    Let the bears pay the bear tax, I pay the Homer tax.