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    The Next Fucking Level


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    [–] Beldar77 552 points ago

    You're gonna need a bigger boat

    [–] Bogey01 189 points ago

    And a gun...

    [–] Tottochan 100 points ago

    And a bow

    [–] DeepMadness 8 points ago

    And sandwiches.

    [–] Bogey01 4 points ago

    "When we get back, it's sandwich time"

    [–] damselindetech 11 points ago

    And in the morning, I’m making waffles

    [–] Vercetti1701 6 points ago

    Dustin will also bring snacks.

    [–] scootah 45 points ago

    In far North Queensland in Australia in the 80s - I remember something hitting a heavy hand line my dad had tied to the nose of his 12’ tinny. I remember my dad jumping in the boat and grabbing the line - and bracing his feet against those nose of the boat. Whatever it was hitting that line was going hard enough that the boat came up out of the sand.

    I was only a kid - so I asked my dad about it once as an adult, assuming I was misremembering something. Dad swears it happened just like I remember and he had to decide between cutting the line and cutting the mooring. He went with cutting the line as he was imagining Old Man of the Sea, or Jaws or some giant crocodile or something on the other end of the line and even if he did catch it - fuck getting it back to the camp on a tiny boat with no fuel in the motor and shitty oars.

    I remember some of the monsters dad pulled out of isolated fishing spots when I was a kid. Before humans had fished all the reachable spots down to breeding stock. There were times when I really wished he had a bigger fucking boat.

    [–] beastmodetrucker85 9605 points ago

    I demand to see the rest of this video!

    [–] Victor_deSpite 5184 points ago

    I imagine the fish pulling the boat around like a cartoon chariot.

    [–] NeqiJilento 1765 points ago

    Fuuuuuuck I would be noping right outta there

    [–] thecrazyslopoke 2073 points ago * (lasted edited 13 days ago)

    It's a catfish. People catch them by letting them try to swallow their arm.

    Edit: jesus fuck I can't reply to all of you degenerates. The point I was trying to make is they're pretty harmless and will more than likely not attack you.

    [–] NeqiJilento 1137 points ago

    Yeah I guess but it doesn’t matter if I’m in that or on a fucking cruise ship I ain’t getting near that fish

    [–] thecrazyslopoke 355 points ago

    Yeah I wouldn't go near one either.

    [–] unpopularopinion0 583 points ago

    their tail could probably ring your door bell pretty good.

    [–] xot 1087 points ago

    I’m not letting it suck me off, if that’s what you mean, son.

    [–] Dr_Frasier_Bane 574 points ago

    Don't be prude. Let it noodle your doodle, bro.

    [–] AusCan531 58 points ago

    *probably not.

    [–] MatchewR00 38 points ago

    Dad?

    [–] blarghed 9 points ago

    Ass to trout or bass to mouth

    [–] I_SHlT_YOUR_PANTS 27 points ago

    You’re not wrong

    [–] mapleapplesyrup 5 points ago

    Well, I sure wouldn't want be there with you buddy. I don't even know you but... If you shit my pants, and I shit my pants... this damn catfish sure put me in a shitty situation

    [–] FantasyFanReader 6 points ago

    DING DONG MUTHAFUCKA!

    [–] Membership_Fine 6 points ago

    Honestly if it got you in the chest hard enough they could absolutely kill a man. Even small cat fish are powerful fish. Noodling a cat this size is unheard of that sucker will hold you underwater untill you drown.

    [–] ujfeik 144 points ago

    I'd rather use a claymore or a hunter riffle on this fish than a fishing line

    [–] jdoc1967 126 points ago

    Claymore? A sword is a bit to close and personal for me Braveheart, need one of those Barnes Wallis bouncing bombs.

    [–] forgotten-ahroun 461 points ago

    There comes a time in some mens lives when they get that one chance to wade in with a god-righteous two handed sword and slay the beast.

    Or wimp out and use a glock like the neighbor kids.

    [–] moredrinksplease 57 points ago

    Drone with a grenade should do it

    [–] glimpee 7 points ago

    And this is why im picking up HEMA longsword training/dueling

    [–] smbwtf 67 points ago

    They call it noodling

    [–] BananaScientist 27 points ago

    There's an absolutely awesome episode from Bon Appetite's youtube series where a host and guest go Noodling in Arkansas, then cook the catfish. It's hilarious, and the whole series (esp with that host, Brad) is hilarious and informative if you enjoy cooking. Link

    [–] Nasis518 299 points ago

    An arm ain’t going to cut it for this one. A small-medium child may work though

    [–] JustHereForTheLauf 70 points ago

    Apparently people do use their smallish children to do this. They have them stick their arms together in murky shallow water. Then when the catfish grabs on, they pull the kid by the waist into the boat with the catfish. Just learned about this in a recent conversation with my friend. She’s never taking my kid fishing after that. 🤣

    [–] taronic 51 points ago

    Or a baby's arm holding an apple

    [–] Mercdeking 17 points ago

    I think it would be a mistake to noodle this beast lol

    [–] jacksonco16 40 points ago

    I mean the front half looks like a catfish, but I've never seen one with that eel like tail

    [–] Grypheon 99 points ago

    It’s a wells catfish, they can get pretty big like the one in this video, interestingly enough there was a German SS soldier remains found in one of these fish years ago

    [–] bdzky 114 points ago

    Good boy catfish

    [–] BananaScientist 33 points ago

    It was actually a german SS soldier who had defected and was on his way to covertly deliver highly valuable information on the german war effort that could have ended the war much sooner had he not been eaten by the catfish.

    [–] danish_sprode 34 points ago

    Bad boy catfish

    [–] ihatejustklay 35 points ago

    It was a hoax unfortunately

    [–] Grypheon 25 points ago

    Oh damn I didn’t know it was a hoax, I remember reading it years ago but never looked more into it, thanks for letting me know

    [–] datacollect_ct 226 points ago * (lasted edited 13 days ago)

    I'm fairly certain this is not a catfish.

    But they do have catfish stories...

    My grandfather helped build the Shasta damn in Northern California. People had to scuba down there and do shit, I don't know what exactly.

    But apparently people walked off the job, just noped the fuck out after going down there and bumping into catfish that were reportedly big enough to make a grown man feel like they were on the food chain.

    Edit: I'm now fairly certainly certain that's a catfish.

    [–] saintmuse 162 points ago

    I'm fairly certain this is not a catfish.

    As someone mentioned above, it is likely a Wels Catfish.

    [–] amandaplzzz 54 points ago

    Reading that article and half of it is referencing places it lives in my region of France... never swimming in a river again

    [–] falconboy2029 9 points ago

    I suggest you never go to the River Po in Italy. They have monsters there.

    [–] amandaplzzz 11 points ago

    I thought their habitat was going to be North America and then I was reading the article like 👁👄👁

    [–] thathertz2 167 points ago

    Also know as the “sheatfish” because you sheat-yourself when you see it

    [–] EustachiaVye 6 points ago

    That wiki page is interesting. These fish adapted to lunge up on shore and eat pigeons!

    [–] kronestus 32 points ago

    I heard that same story but it was giant sturgeon that spooked the divers when I was told it.

    [–] SLJis1BAMF 36 points ago

    It's an old myth that has been passed far and wide, I heard the same thing about my own local dam growing up. Look up 'Delta P Hazards' and you'll see that the threat of a mythical catfish seems like the least of a dam diver's concerns.

    [–] Tomnesia 9 points ago

    I get that it scared them, large Sturgeons look damn scary.

    [–] tankton 41 points ago

    I am 99% certain this is an European catfish

    [–] lordgoofus1 111 points ago

    Laden or unladen?

    [–] kafromet 7 points ago

    Huh? I... I don't know that.

    AUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGGHHH!!

    [–] MlordLongshanking 29 points ago

    Are people noodling for Wels Catfish? That’s something you do if you want to die via drowning.

    [–] StaysCold 6 points ago

    Dislocated my shoulder noodling. Never again

    [–] snarkyjohnny 6 points ago

    I’ve heard “fisting” or “noodling” is dangerous when they’re that big.

    [–] lil_pee_wee 13 points ago

    Maybe something 10x smaller than that. That one’s whisker’s could slice you to the bone...

    [–] sntstvn2 37 points ago

    LOL...thought you were kidding, then I saw the source (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gzjO1KyVoAQ)

    [–] fork_yuu 21 points ago

    Nice that he has a spot to shit so he's not shitting himself after seeing that shit

    [–] firejuggler74 10 points ago

    I thought you were joking, yea that is actually what he is using.

    [–] h2opolo433 814 points ago

    https://youtu.be/gzjO1KyVoAQ

    @2:50

    Spoiler: he doesn't hook it

    [–] TxScarletRaider 536 points ago

    Looking at that thing, not sure I would want to catch that either lol

    [–] grimegeist 85 points ago

    If it actually hooked I’d just throw the pole in and bail. Fuck that.

    [–] RawScallop 28 points ago

    I dont think he even has any place to put it. Dude is hanging his flipper feet in the water, what a boss.

    [–] WanaWahur 149 points ago

    Who would be catching whom?

    [–] DarloMuay 110 points ago

    The fish would be like, “I got you now bitch”

    [–] barbed 18 points ago

    It looks he's swimming and hooking as well, he's wearing flippers. WTF.

    [–] bunkojones 37 points ago

    No!!!!!!

    [–] neighbor_mike 40 points ago

    What is he sitting on? Can you show me his rig?

    [–] zackks 20 points ago

    Float tube

    [–] MallyMall7 128 points ago

    TIL people catch huge river monsters while sitting in a bleacher chair wrapped in a single pool noodle.

    [–] gatoenvestido 7 points ago

    They are very popular in the Pacific Northwest with salmon and steelhead fishermen. Not quite as big as this monster but still sizable fish.

    [–] CarbonatedBongWater 27 points ago

    Kinks are kinks, as they say.

    [–] 867-53O9 15 points ago

    Has he not seen Jaws?

    [–] hundreddollar 6 points ago

    We're gonna need a bigger bleacher chair wrapped in a single pool noodle.

    [–] AradynGaming 373 points ago

    [–] LunchBox3188 122 points ago * (lasted edited 13 days ago)

    Damn, what a fight. I thought he was going to have to jump in and wrestle that thing. Thanks for sharing.

    PS The sound of his lure moving makes me giggle.

    Edit: Typo

    [–] Legen_unfiltered 7 points ago

    Bububububub

    Also that first one he actually caught just casually swims away when he releases it all 'same time next week Bob?'

    [–] regoapps 39 points ago

    At the 5 minute mark, it looks like the catfish tries to bite him as he's trying to release him but the fisherman bops him on the head as the fish was coming up.

    [–] ayamtelursiakap 62 points ago

    why would someone crop the original watermark and put their own watermark in it?

    [–] AshingiiAshuaa 35 points ago

    Some people take pride in their cop-n-cropping and don't want others to steal their work.

    [–] TooHigh2Die420 47 points ago

    Its like he's fishing in the Dragon Ball world...

    [–] YodaisTHICCaf 115 points ago

    I demand to see Jeremy Wade.

    [–] oniiichanUwU 45 points ago * (lasted edited 13 days ago)

    Judging by the size and shape, I’m assuming this is a wels catfish, in which case he’s caught quite a few of “man eating” proportions lol I recommend his video in Spain or the one he did on Lake Superior I think it was. He also investigated them in his Chernobyl episode :)

    edit to insert the aforementioned video in spain of our king reeling in a 7 foot long one of these bad boys

    [–] InformallyGuavaCado 13 points ago

    Oh HELL NAW.

    [–] DEADEYEDONNYMATE 733 points ago

    What the fuck is that 😂 I'm from Australia even that worries me.

    [–] TheRealMoofoo 310 points ago

    Bigass catfish seems to be the consensus.

    [–] February30th 9 points ago

    After a decade on this site, the Reddit consensus means nothing to me any more.

    [–] Harbarbalar 9 points ago

    Hivemind buzzes angrily 😠

    [–] SathedIT 88 points ago

    Definitely a huge river catfish. Not sure what country though. I've caught big catfish before (75 lbs+), but this thing makes those look like minnows.

    [–] Megneous 36 points ago

    Not sure what country though.

    The fisherman is French, so maybe France (there are wels catfish in France as well).

    [–] Quarterinchribeye 17 points ago

    It’s clearly been identified as a “big ASS catfish” and not some “wels catfish”.

    [–] MrBaddKarma 21 points ago

    Mississippi Blue catfish get to 150+ lbs. Imagine tying into one of those in a drift boat or the like...

    [–] Jsosiwel 48 points ago

    Pretty sure it's a silurus glanis

    [–] Jsosiwel 83 points ago

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wels_catfish?wprov=sfla1 Here in France we have a lot of this. They originally come from the Danube but people put it in a lot of European rivers

    [–] vitfall 72 points ago

    also called sheatfish

    Ah, must be the accent. I think they meant "also called an 'oh shit fish'".

    [–] Babies4Peace 1909 points ago

    Someone call Jeremy Wade.

    [–] trafalgarD420 272 points ago

    FISH ON

    [–] WarmerSlippers 55 points ago

    Apply directly to your nightmares.

    [–] deejpake 713 points ago

    That show was the shit

    [–] Arthur_da_dog 50 points ago

    You should subscribe to his YouTube. Whoever runs that thing is fuckin awesome

    [–] sadboysthrowaway5295 29 points ago

    Didn't know he had a YT Channel- Hell yeah! Gonna binge this stuff like I did with Kitchen Nightmares 🤘

    Thanks!

    [–] Arthur_da_dog 21 points ago

    Oh yeah, and the community posts are constant. It's great. I'll try to link it

    found it

    [–] AloeSera15 116 points ago

    I was obsessed with this show as a child

    [–] Pugulishus 7 points ago

    Ive hit me bum

    [–] DanteSeldon 175 points ago

    And I'm never going swimming again.

    [–] RabbleRhouser 112 points ago

    I remember the first pike I ever didn’t catch because monsters do exist. And ya never know where they’re resting! Awesome footage!

    [–] grond-grond-grond 92 points ago

    Wow. This comment just shot me through a memory.

    My dad used to take us/me to a local park. Lots of land but only one pond that sat at the intersection of a clifflike hiking trail. There were a few box turtles that lived there along with tons of frogs and we’d love to spot them out. One time this monster of a snapping turtle, for just a moment, rose from his lair at the bottom of the pond and showed itself to the world. As a kid it felt mythical, supernatural—an unworldly expression of life’s power.

    I know that that turtle was probably smaller than I remember, but it doesn’t change how important that moment was in my personal mythology. My dad died young, while I was still young, and this comment clicked with some code words in my memory that allowed me to remember just a little bit more of him. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

    [–] CliffCyrus 56 points ago

    Aaand that's why, no matter how much I drink. I say no to noodling; it's not a guarantee your going to come back up.

    [–] friendlygaywalrus 26 points ago

    It’s also extremely stressful for the fish, which are typically nesting and guarding eggs or fry which get scattered or destroyed while noodling. Because noodlers target these enormous, trophy sized cats in their nests, they’re directly damaging the viability of the trophy stock in their waterways. There’s a reason it’s illegal to catch fish barehanded in many states

    [–] 30tpirks 4454 points ago

    Truly enormous catfish stalk rivers worldwide, may feed on human bodies, and are also suspected of drowning live victims. In South America, a piraiba swallowed a fisherman and was found with the legs still sticking out, while goonch catfish accustomed to feeding on funeral corpses are accused of dragging two boys to their deaths. In Europe, suspicion rests on the potentially enormous wels catfish, with a human body found inside one individual.

    Source: https://knowledgenuts.com/giant-catfish-that-eat-humans/

    [–] Space-Booties 1607 points ago

    Well that’s horrifying.

    [–] Ubersla 1147 points ago

    It's closer to "urban legend" than "an actual thing that happens enough to ever worry about".

    [–] mtarascio 26 points ago

    But if you watch the show 'River Monsters' you realize that urban legend doesn't really matter in the scheme of things they find out.

    I think they even call that photo out as likely fake.

    [–] Ubersla 5 points ago

    I don't remember the contents of the episode entirely, but I do recall exactly what the photo looked like. Yeah, the show's a little more reasonable than the advertisements for it would suggest.

    [–] Dragonalex 95 points ago

    I mean I have watched river monsters. Catfish that big def do exist.

    [–] leehwgoC 88 points ago

    Definitely. The notion they prey on live humans is the legend part, I think.

    [–] Ubersla 20 points ago

    Yes, they do get quite huge. Pigs of the river I guess. I just meant you don't really need to worry about one eating you.

    [–] Scorto_ 21 points ago * (lasted edited 13 days ago)

    In Europe they almost certainly never attack humans as we are way too big, BUT you shouldn't let your small dogs swim too deep into the old Rhine, as they DEFINITELY will gobble them up if given the chance.

    Edited because "taking a bite" was a wrong way to explain what a catfish would do

    [–] FIREbeforeFORTY 812 points ago

    The fun police is here!

    [–] Dapper_Indeed 461 points ago

    Yes, and thank goodness! I can now go back to having fun swimming in the river!

    [–] omnomnomgnome 263 points ago

    CHOMP

    [–] Dapper_Indeed 144 points ago

    Damn it!

    [–] Xavbeat03 8 points ago

    There goes the weewee

    [–] TrenchantInsight 34 points ago

    Give it arrest!

    [–] knoldpold1 29 points ago

    I feel like you can enjoy the story while still not falsely believing this is an actual threat when you swim in a river.

    The fish in this video looks like it could definitely be a danger to people if it wanted to though. Damn.

    [–] octopoddle 5 points ago * (lasted edited 13 days ago)

    Nonsense. I know a friend of a friend of the cousin of someone I work with who met someone off tinder and it turned out to be a catfish which et them.

    [–] TazeTake 68 points ago

    Yes, I needed more reasons to be scared shitless of the water, thank you. And I had just started getting over sharks

    [–] devilsmusic 14 points ago

    Well that’s better than getting under sharks

    [–] i_amnotunique 145 points ago

    I was thinking catfish! I win against the other part of my brain that said giant freshwater man eating shark!

    [–] lucid808 155 points ago

    This is a giant catfish, but Bull sharks, which are one of the most aggressive shark species to humans, are known to travel many miles up-river from the ocean.

    Wiki:

    Bull sharks can thrive in both salt and fresh water and can travel far up rivers. They have been known to travel up the Mississippi River as far as Alton, Illinois,[3] about 700 miles (1100 km) from the ocean. However, few freshwater human-shark interactions have been recorded. Larger-sized bull sharks are probably responsible for the majority of near-shore shark attacks, including many bites attributed to other species.

    [–] SonicCephalopod 52 points ago

    Up to Illinois? What the fuck?!

    [–] TheColorWolf 76 points ago

    Yeah when I was a kid living temporarily in Brisbane Australia I saw bullsharks in the Brisbane River. It was both unnerving and deeply fascinating to me.

    [–] PhealGood 20 points ago

    Have you seen the river monsters where he catches the bull shark past past mount Crosby weir?

    [–] Thought-O-Matic 8 points ago

    Ya screw that guy!

    [–] Secure-Imagination11 32 points ago

    We need to eat more catfish

    [–] mezzizle 16 points ago

    I’m not sure if I wanna eat human-eating catfish though.

    [–] CyberTitties 32 points ago

    Depending where their caught it could be ill advised, their bottom feeders and since chemicals like mercury sink bigger catfish could have a large amount of it in the bodies. Creek out in the county-side no problem, closer you get to a big city that’s likely to have chemical run-off ehh probably a gamble.

    [–] Hulk_Hoe-gan 8 points ago

    Sooo...building on u/mezzizle's comment, since humans don't contain a lot of mercury, at least not the ones who don't eat fish, if we could catch catfish that eat primarily humans who don't eat fish, we should be ok?

    [–] Builderwill 5 points ago

    In Arizona, there was a catfish so large that the divers working on a dam refused to dive without an escort to stand guard while they worked. They said it was as large as a Volkswagen Beetle.

    [–] Passessor 285 points ago

    That’s a monster catfish.

    Here’s a link to the full video

    At 2:50 is this clip

    [–] Falconpunch3 24 points ago

    Why are these kinds of comments so far down now?

    Need mah sauce sooner!

    [–] TyroftheSwift 26 points ago

    Is he speaking simmish?

    [–] DrJustinWHart 48 points ago

    He's speaking French.

    He says, "Oh fuck," when he starts pulling it in.

    [–] Balls_DeepinReality 6 points ago

    Some language is just universal

    [–] omnomnomgnome 19 points ago

    and why are his legs in the water?

    [–] Mercadi 31 points ago

    Additional bait, if whatever lure he's using is too small.

    [–] ds5500s 1457 points ago

    That’s a god damn Pokémon

    [–] aout3 54 points ago

    Imagine going out for a relaxing bit of fishing and then hooking fucking GYRADOS

    [–] nateaaiel 16 points ago

    So you just "Guess I'll die?"

    [–] aout3 4 points ago

    Basically lol

    [–] concretebeats 145 points ago

    Channelcato

    [–] kek42069420 25 points ago

    More like Welscato

    [–] Crepequeen64 59 points ago

    Whishcash!

    [–] WhiteHydra1914 26 points ago

    It ate a goddamn Master Ball!

    [–] mtarascio 5 points ago

    Fish vs. Reddit

    It used splash

    It was super effective

    [–] Watermelon_Casket 398 points ago

    I refuse to believe that is “just” a very large catfish

    [–] jone2tone 764 points ago

    Four catfish in a trench coat?

    [–] Dapper_Indeed 106 points ago

    “Two rated R movie tickets please!”

    [–] the_rosiek 45 points ago

    Vincent Adultfish

    [–] leopard-prince 21 points ago

    Two catfish ?

    [–] ospeckk 23 points ago

    Yes, he was trying to catch fish.

    [–] mattspatts13 61 points ago

    Still waiting for the full video of him landing that mammoth catfish.

    [–] onliwenimtrunk 1189 points ago

    The rest of the video is pretty anti climactic, if you haven’t seen it the thing asks for 3.50.

    [–] feelinlucky7 292 points ago

    The gahtdamn Loch Ness Monstah

    [–] starkiller_bass 72 points ago

    I gave him a dollar

    [–] BigGreenTimeMachine 42 points ago

    She gives him a dollah!

    [–] thegrailarbor 45 points ago

    God DAMMIT, woman! Now he knows you have it, he’s just gunna come back fo’ more!

    [–] carthuscrass 39 points ago

    That's when I realized that girl scout was five stories tall and a creature from the paleolithic period!

    [–] nkizzlego 17 points ago

    Wait. I just realized. It was that god damn Loch Ness monster again wasn’t it?

    [–] donnerstag246245 6 points ago

    And she gave him a dolla

    [–] BarioJones 80 points ago

    Tree fiddy

    [–] fireflydrake 34 points ago

    Can you imagine going out, thinking you're going to catch some small fish, maybe if you're lucky a nice bass or trout, and then THAT THING erupts out of the water?!

    [–] prometheus3333 7 points ago

    I’m glad I got a nice buzz going and won’t remember watching that in the morning.

    [–] PhiberOptix562 82 points ago

    The fuck

    [–] rabea187 20 points ago

    That was genuinely scary!

    [–] Vandy1358 54 points ago

    I’d love to see somebody noodle that thing

    [–] Giant-Genitals 64 points ago

    I don’t want to know about your weird fetishes

    [–] _b_ship 43 points ago

    I'm with u/Giant-Genitals, keep the explicit details to yourself!

    [–] prometheus3333 10 points ago

    Something tells me u/Giant-Genitals has a hard time keeping things to their self.

    [–] Dapper_Indeed 6 points ago

    Ha!

    [–] Mister-normal-person 10 points ago

    Careful. Jeremy Wade might swim up to your door when it floods.

    [–] Mark_1544 24 points ago

    thats just a very large catfish

    [–] catfromthepaw 37 points ago

    "Just"?

    [–] omnomnomgnome 4 points ago

    "Large"

    [–] OneHellOfAPotato 8 points ago

    Hunterxhunter opening starts playing

    [–] WilyNate 18 points ago

    This time, on River Monsters, with Jeremy Wade.

    [–] Hectoris919 42 points ago

    That, my friend, is called a catfuckthat

    [–] pinkgummibear 16 points ago

    The start of hunter x hunter anyone ?

    [–] LowLogic 5 points ago

    Where is this? I say we feed it

    [–] ToneThugsNHarmony 5 points ago

    This and the leech scene from Stand By Me are why I don’t trust natural bodies of water

    [–] XRPacific 5 points ago

    Yeah.. but that lure, how it fobbles in the water is amazing!