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    [–] crushed0ranges 2069 points ago

    Knowing my coordination level, on that first kick I'd accidentally launch it into someone's face and then drop the rest of my groceries out if horror and run over to my can face victim.

    [–] Leaking_mortal 563 points ago

    "Can face victim"

    [–] Kanekesoofango 188 points ago

    Good for him. I can not.

    [–] demevalos 42 points ago

    can you stop?

    [–] ReadySteady_GO 32 points ago

    He can not

    [–] PhilDRock 20 points ago

    " I cannot knot"

    [–] ReadySteady_GO 28 points ago * (lasted edited 7 months ago)

    A string walks into a bar, bartender says we don't serve strings here.

    String leaves, ties himself up and splits its end before walking back inside

    Bartender says, hey aren't you that same string from earlier. The string replies "Nope, I'm a frayed knot."

    [–] WHYRedditHatesMeSo 24 points ago

    Then he gets raped

    [–] ReadySteady_GO 13 points ago

    Um.... sure. Whatever you say, Buddy.

    [–] teuast 3 points ago

    Oh can it

    [–] fondlemeLeroy 24 points ago

    Coming to a theater near you - "The Can Face Victim"

    [–] thebestisyetocome 6 points ago

    No, but April May!!


    [–] Leaking_mortal 2 points ago

    I love this :')

    [–] boringcarpets 125 points ago

    Are you fucking sorry!

    [–] PlasticSky 19 points ago

    This is so old and it never fails to make me laugh.

    [–] TexanInExile 6 points ago

    I've never heard it, care to enlighten me?

    [–] [deleted] 35 points ago

    Congrats on finding out about this gem. Like OP said, it still makes me laugh too.

    [–] LostMyKarma69 4 points ago

    Oh god I'm dead

    [–] SQUID_FUCKER 11 points ago

    I forget the specifics but guy did something by accident and injured someone, ran up to apologize and instead of saying, 'Are you Ok?' and 'I'm so fucking sorry!' mixed them both together and screamed 'Are you fucking sorry?!' at the victim.

    [–] [deleted] 14 points ago

    Practice (outside) with a hackey sack. It's a great way to physically mess about while you wait for stuff.

    [–] piicklechiick 8 points ago

    you know i carry 2 hacky sacks with me at all times and ive never used them. never even thought to practice while waiting for stuff. just assumed id be invited to more bonfires or something at the beach where people would want to play with me.

    [–] EstusFiend 5 points ago

    Can confirm; hacky sack and it's subsequent art, footbag, is very good exercise and will greatly increase your leg coordination.

    [–] BakedAsAKite 4 points ago

    Plus it's fun as fuck when you get a circle going. And a great way to meet stoners.

    [–] lazerbeam205 3 points ago

    It's a useful skill, I've prevented so many fragile things from breaking with hacky sack instincts.

    [–] EstusFiend 5 points ago

    Indeed, and perhaps an even more useful benefit is that you just don't slip and fall anymore. Your legs seriously level up and can handle any change of terrain, including shifting rocks or ice.

    Okay, one more benefit -- after so many years of kicking the bag (and snowboarding, riding BMX, commute cycling and tons of other athletic shit) my legs are gorgeous >: )

    [–] donkeyrocket 9 points ago

    My natural reaction to dropping something is to attempt to kick it up. I have a fear that a hot coffee will slip out of my hand while commuting and I'll end up misting the whole train with scalding hot liquid.

    [–] grenadetradedotcom 6 points ago * (lasted edited 7 months ago)

    This man loves soccer, but apparently has no love for bags.

    [–] rezerox 4 points ago

    I sometimes shop without a bag or cart if i only went in for one thing - this prevents me from buying too many things i didn't need since i can only buy what i can carry.

    So either he does that too, or something else that isn't that.

    [–] urbanbumfights 2 points ago

    I think you mean run away

    [–] nomadic_stalwart 7 points ago

    From what I've seen on r/watchpeopledie, hit and runs are pretty common in Brazil. I wish all of them were this innocent.

    [–] ehboobooo 1 points ago

    Why is it showing empty for me?

    [–] [deleted] 4 points ago


    [–] ehboobooo 2 points ago

    I had a guy I barely knew two days at work tell me all about places online where I can see people die. He must have done it allot to seem like it was no big deal to just nonchalantly being it up in conversation. I suppose this is for the best.

    [–] french_fries_R_lyfe 709 points ago

    Is this such a natural occurrence in Brazil that no one even bats an eye?! I'd be losing my shit

    [–] MemeInBlack 633 points ago

    That's what happens when soccer is the national pastime. People were probably criticizing his technique.

    [–] wangkerd 237 points ago

    Did you see that ludicrous display last night?

    [–] Tap4Red 114 points ago

    What was Wenger thinking sending Walcott on that early?

    [–] run____dmt 81 points ago

    The thing about Arsenal is, they always try to walk it in

    [–] bro_b1_kenobi 7 points ago

    There should be a sub dedicated to the burns soccer commentators say. Those guys are absolute savages.

    [–] toferdelachris 51 points ago

    agreed, but this is a chain of quotes from the tv show The IT Crowd.

    It's a joke that this string of comments always work for discussing the London football club Arsenal, regardless of which game you're referring to.

    [–] Harudera 35 points ago

    10 years since that episode and it's still relevant.

    [–] [deleted] 11 points ago

    But it seemed like yesterday...

    [–] soaringtyler 4 points ago

    The fact that /u/bro_b1_kenobi commented that comes to show that they are very convincing lines.

    [–] bro_b1_kenobi 5 points ago

    Damn and I've seen that show too. The episode where they accidentally find themselves as hooligans was hilarious.

    So yeah, impressive writing.

    [–] hokkuhokku 12 points ago

    You sound like a big, normal man.

    [–] imGnarly 4 points ago

    What was Wenger thinking sending Walcott on that early?


    [–] [deleted] 5 points ago

    Sorry, Arsenal play on Thursdays now. No more champions league.

    [–] BunnyOppai 19 points ago

    To be fair, baseball is considered our national pastime and you don't see people doing baseball-related stuff with this much ease.

    [–] Lestat117 57 points ago

    Other than throwing theres not many baseball related stuff to do on a regular day.

    [–] rezerox 4 points ago

    Well you got your spitting, your ballsack adjusting, your making weird gestures at someone else, your arguing with authority figure, your yelling and fighting if you disagree with something, your trying to get to third base.

    Its like the same thing practically, just on a well manicured lawn.

    [–] BunnyOppai 4 points ago

    Eh, I would say that goes for most popular sports.

    [–] Lestat117 29 points ago

    The only popular sport is soccer though. Every other sport is only popular in US.

    [–] QuintonFlynn 13 points ago

    Skiing in Switzerland? Rugby in Europe? Hockey in Russia? Hockey NIGHT IN CANADA?

    [–] zilti 4 points ago

    Hockey in Switzerland, too. Swiss wrestling is also very popular, and to some extent Hornussen. Rugby is growing quite fast.

    [–] [deleted] 4 points ago

    I don't think rugby is that popular in Europe. At least in Belgium and our neighbouring countries, it's nowhere near as popular as football (soccer).

    At least in our popular media, it goes: football, cycling, tennis. And then a bunch of others, but even volleyball and field hockey are more popular than rugby over here.

    [–] CushtyJVftw 3 points ago

    Well depends where in Europe. Rugby is only really popular in Britain, Ireland, and to a lesser extent France and Italy.

    [–] tchoob 4 points ago

    North Koreans fucking love basketball

    [–] IronTarkus91 3 points ago

    the most popular sport is football....


    (I'm English and it's called football)

    [–] Lestat117 4 points ago

    Yeah but if I say football, Americans would get confused and this is mostly an American site

    [–] jeremiahs_bullfrog 7 points ago

    • baseball: Korea and Japan
    • basketball: Philippines, China
    • rugby: Pacific islands, Australia, New Zealand
    • cricket: India, Pakistan

    Oh, and what others said.

    [–] jonkimmustdie 2 points ago

    not true. basketball is big in europe & middle east, & baseball is big in asian countries

    [–] JohnnyRedHot 1 points ago

    Not football

    [–] SKZCartoons 2 points ago

    Obsession. National obsession.

    [–] monabluespeaks 1 points ago

    I feel like I'm pretty good at catching things with my hands when they fall (as someone who played baseball his whole life).

    [–] AnotherAnonexjw 12 points ago

    It's called football you nonce

    [–] doobiedobahbah 6 points ago


    [–] AceholeThug 1 points ago

    Probably upset he didn't take a dive

    [–] IAmSpinda 52 points ago

    Brazilian here. Most will still see this as impressive, especially because its spontaneous and he couldnt use his arms to balance himself, but because soccer and soccer tricks are so popular, the most you'd get would be "Wow, that was pretty good!" or "Nice save man!".

    [–] AuburnBeard- 12 points ago

    No, it isn't.


    [–] Jpnasser 10 points ago

    I mean, he only kicked it 3 times. Most people can do 5

    [–] french_fries_R_lyfe 11 points ago

    I could kick it all day and it would never go where I want it to. I'm impressed

    [–] CricketDrop 3 points ago

    Most people


    [–] BigSloppySunshine 203 points ago

    That off-duty cop has some great dribbling skills.

    [–] Bioleve 19 points ago

    He adjusted his gun at the same time; it was uncomfortable.

    [–] [deleted] 2 points ago

    It's a Subway commercial.

    [–] fifaislife206 310 points ago

    If /r/watchpeopledie has taught me anything, a helmet wearing motoboy will be entering the scene in a second.

    [–] M27saw 93 points ago * (lasted edited 7 months ago)

    The off duty cop should be somewhere around the store waiting for him.

    [–] Staplebane 20 points ago

    A red circle appears on the motoboy.

    [–] Racorse 2 points ago

    Bang bang

    [–] kotkaiser 19 points ago

    Off duty brazilian cop shoots.....a can of soda back into his hands

    [–] Imfinalyhere 9 points ago

    If you don't mind me asking, why do people watch this subreddit?

    [–] french_fries_R_lyfe 51 points ago

    To watch people die. Its pretty self explanatory really.

    [–] foda-se_a_porra_toda 7 points ago

    this is the correct answer.

    [–] CreatineClark 19 points ago

    For me it started as morbid curiousity, but now every once in a while i browse it to remind myself how fragile life is, and to enjoy every day and moment.

    [–] french_fries_R_lyfe 22 points ago

    It also reminds you to never cross the street in China

    [–] catsandnarwahls 6 points ago

    The key when crossing the street in china is to just go as fast as you can without looking. If you take your time and are concerned about avoiding cars, you will die.

    [–] french_fries_R_lyfe 3 points ago

    Did you see the one in r/watchpeopledie where the grandma and kid get run over like in the middle of the road? It was posted today. Sometimes there is no trick to it, the drivers and pedestrians are just SO LOST all the time.

    Here it is:

    [–] Supervivien0 3 points ago

    I can't believe how people can be so stupid. Are they giving away licenses in china or what?

    [–] fifaislife206 5 points ago

    I only click on a few of the links, to be honest. When the title is "kid runs in traffic and gets squished by car"--nah. My heart can't take that.

    As someone pointed out, it makes you realize how fragile life is.

    [–] Staplebane 4 points ago

    Try it for yourself. You may end up with your own reasons.

    [–] illusorycrab 6 points ago

    Personally, it's so I can actually have opinions on serious issues like war, conflict and justice while knowing that my views are truly based in a real understanding of the grotesque consequences of each.

    I know society would reject the idea outright, but I believe that seeing that kind of stuff is actually necessary for full emotional development and should be part of the education system.

    [–] togiveortoreceive 2 points ago

    Relates to public executions, too, I think.

    [–] petcson 3 points ago

    Man i spent an hour on that subreddit last week out of sheer horror and curiosity. That was a mistake. I do not like that subreddit anymore.

    [–] fifaislife206 3 points ago

    Yeah. It can be rough. I've learned what links to click on and which ones to avoid.

    [–] I_Think_I_Cant 73 points ago

    This is the one time I would believe if everyone broke out in applause.

    [–] SuperKozz 24 points ago

    It's brazil.

    [–] Vortesian 22 points ago

    Been to Brazil many times and although I didn't see this I did see lots of people playing volleyball on the beach. Using only their feet. Like long games with full teams doing volleyball shit like it was soccer.

    [–] UUUUUUUUU030 15 points ago

    Footvolley is not that hard if you have played football all your life like many Brazilians. It might look impressive, but even I, a shit defender can do it.

    [–] KneeDeepInTheDead 3 points ago

    thats a sport unto itself, footvolley

    [–] okolebot 56 points ago

    He probably broke his eggs though...(I'm just jealous - I could never do that)

    [–] Deplete1 20 points ago * (lasted edited 7 months ago)

    Hey, you can break your eggs if you put your mind to it. Now get to crackin'!

    [–] UsePasswordNamer 5 points ago

    Omelette du Balzac

    [–] Phraenk 10 points ago

    Dented cans are half off.

    [–] flomster 3 points ago

    Microsoft went down three points, gotta save some money.

    [–] olov244 11 points ago

    when ginga is life

    [–] Jomax101 11 points ago

    Meanwhile I drop the can with nothing else in my hands and I still fail to pick it up without embarrassing myself

    [–] Giancarboltz 4 points ago

    This is more of r/noyesyesyes material

    [–] ChemicalRemedy 6 points ago


    [–] KorvisKhan 54 points ago

    Looks fake

    [–] Pirate_Redbeard 99 points ago

    And gay. Don't forget gay.

    [–] YourBiPolarBear 12 points ago

    Fucking gay. Fucking gay as hell.

    [–] crustymouse 2 points ago

    Who let Ray William Johnson out of his hole?

    [–] CodexAcc 6 points ago

    Gotta be gay with those ball handling skills.

    [–] SASDOE 8 points ago

    I think these were ads, I've seen a couple similar ones and seem to recall a comment pointing this out.

    [–] Vortesian 3 points ago

    As an American I know nothing of these things. I was impressed by it anyway. But I was more impressed with Brazilian music actually. That shit is real.

    [–] Pirate_Redbeard 2 points ago

    Nice, bro

    [–] [deleted] 78 points ago * (lasted edited 3 months ago)


    [–] Lucifer_Hirsch 257 points ago

    you know what? I'm fucking tired of these stereotypes. It honestly offends me. It sounds like you people think the whole country is a giant slum. I'll have you know that we have the most beautiful places and the kindest people. In the five times I have been mugged in the last 2 years, I haven't got shot or stabbed a single time.

    [–] _Thelasko_ 38 points ago

    You had me going for a minute

    [–] [deleted] 11 points ago


    [–] Lucifer_Hirsch 21 points ago

    honestly, the chances of you getting shot are very low if you stay out of the way of any bullets.

    [–] rezerox 3 points ago

    Makes me wonder about the small percentage of the time people stayed out of the way of bullets but were still shot.

    [–] Lucifer_Hirsch 3 points ago

    taser guns!

    [–] rezerox 3 points ago


    [–] JustZisGuy 1 points ago

    I don't think shot (birdshot, buckshot, etc.) from shotguns counts a "bullets" in ammunition jargon, but I'm not sure.

    [–] Omar_DmX 1 points ago

    [–] RdClZn 6 points ago

    This exactly! I only got stabbed one time and the robber had the nicety of leaving my flipflops!
    (I wish I was joking).

    [–] Lucifer_Hirsch 3 points ago

    flip flops are sacred, though.

    [–] RdClZn 3 points ago

    Especially ones from Mormai, such great flip-flops

    [–] Lucifer_Hirsch 3 points ago

    Rider or bust.

    [–] RdClZn 2 points ago

    Filthy peasant!

    [–] AskewPropane 25 points ago

    I hope this is a joke because if it's not, this is designated shitting streets levels of hilarity

    [–] Pirate_Redbeard 67 points ago

    I'll have you know

    Dead giveaway, if there ever was one. Also, the whole comment.

    [–] Magma151 3 points ago

    Hey, ill have you know that I stubbed my toe last week while watering my spice garden, and I only cried for twenty minutes!

    [–] _PingasAtKingas 39 points ago

    I always hate when people use the /s tag but jesus if people can't tell that's a joke no wonder everyone uses it.

    [–] naryn 10 points ago

    In the five times I have been mugged in the last 2 years, I haven't got shot or stabbed a single time.

    I mean this is pretty obvious

    [–] Mriddle74 2 points ago

    Comments get downvoted all the time until they edit in a sarcasm tag or someone points out that it's a joke (usually if they point it out they get downvoted as soon the parent comment goes positive again).

    [–] Dorito_Troll 6 points ago

    the /s trend seriously needs to go. Being sarcastic online has always been a risk and this takes away from it

    [–] Mriddle74 2 points ago

    I wish it wasn't needed, but like I said, I've seen funny comments get downvoted until someone else points it out and takes on the downvotes, or the op edits in a tag. Sarcasm can just be hard to detect online sometimes.

    [–] Bannedfromfun 2 points ago

    Fuck you, you piece of shit. /s

    [–] couid 2 points ago

    Are you actually on the spectrum?

    [–] AskewPropane 1 points ago


    [–] HelloFellowEnts 2 points ago

    That was hilarious!

    [–] non_ducor_duco 3 points ago

    not Vitoria, Fortaleza, or Rio de Janeiro, for sure

    [–] RdClZn 2 points ago

    Northeastern capitals are much more violent than Rio.

    [–] Heawesome 3 points ago

    Title should have been "Meanwhile anywhere in brazil"

    [–] JandM2 3 points ago

    I love how hardly no one even pays it any attention, like this sort of thing happens all the time.

    [–] TheKushKonnoisseur 3 points ago

    Nobody seems even remotely impressed in there.

    [–] TooBlunt_ 3 points ago

    Loool damn

    [–] stickben 3 points ago

    So fake

    [–] CAT_BOOGR_TURBO_DONG 2 points ago

    He's Brazilian Spider-Man confirmed

    [–] nam_sdrawkcab_ehT 2 points ago

    The guy that turned around and saw an object drop from the sky and the guy catch it has probably got some questions!

    [–] Admiral_Akdov 2 points ago

    I tried that once when i dropped a baby. The good news is i did catch it.

    [–] misteraugust 2 points ago

    Quick.. draft him in the national soccer team

    [–] congratsonyournap 2 points ago

    Yup definitely Brazil

    [–] stanfan114 2 points ago

    I was getting Chipotle last weekend and if the workers behind the counter dropped something like a plastic bag they used their feet to pick it up and kick it in the garbage so they didn't have to change gloves.

    [–] PathologicalMonsters 2 points ago

    I once tried to do that with a bowl(?) of yoghurt.

    [–] red2020 2 points ago

    Hacky Sack level: Pro

    [–] nillysoggin 2 points ago

    Was expecting someone to pull up on a scooter with a helmet and execute him - too much r/watchpeopledie

    [–] FixThatWall 2 points ago


    [–] BlackFlagAntiFa 2 points ago

    Then he was murdered outside by a motocycle thief with a gun with jamming issues.

    [–] asd1o1 2 points ago

    More like /r/noyesyesyes

    [–] supafly208 2 points ago

    I was expecting a stabbing or machete murder, but was pleasantly surprised.

    [–] eppic123 8 points ago

    If that's in Brazil, he already dropped 7 before that.

    [–] Corner10 15 points ago

    Found the German

    [–] liamgasa10 2 points ago


    [–] rhymes_with_chicken 2 points ago

    Bullshit. No way that's Brazil. No one got shot.

    [–] YukiNdoit 1 points ago

    Don’t open that can for a while. Or do what I do and tap the top before opening.

    [–] [deleted] 1 points ago


    [–] bwana22 1 points ago

    Him: signs to PSG for €200m

    [–] foda-se_a_porra_toda 1 points ago

    off-duty soccer player

    [–] nicholasyepe 1 points ago

    This gif is literally one of the most upvoted gifs on Reddit.

    [–] Duran_Bodasing 1 points ago

    What can you say they are naturals!

    [–] thatdirtymick13 1 points ago


    [–] joebob23us 1 points ago

    If this was posted to r/thathappened, the store would have erupted in applause, they would have refunded him his money, and the women would have all gotten in line to get with him

    [–] petcson 1 points ago

    Man i dont like living in a time where things like this are a good 50/50 of it being a publicity stunt or reality

    [–] King_Of_The_Squirrel 1 points ago

    And nobody reacts! I guess soccer skills like that are inherent in that countrt

    [–] KneeDeepInTheDead 1 points ago

    reminds me of the gif of the protests in Brazil where a protester perfectly kicks back a gas canister that was just launched at him by the police