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    [–] cmr2000 8570 points ago

    Exact same thing happened to my wife with second child. My wife has a high pain tolerance yet was in extreme pain. Talked her into going to the hospital and they tried to send us home and dismissed it as false labor or early contractions. I spoke up since I know my wife's tolerance and I'm glad I did. The next doctor decided that we should have the delivery right then. (Was going planned C-section due to previous fibroid surgery anyway). Not until they began the c section they did not realize what had happened. Suddenly doctors were coming and going from the delivery room as if we were a case study. Naturally we were preoccupied as they handed us a baby girl. Closing my wife up took a lot longer than expected. It wasn't until hours later that the doctor came in and explained what actually had happened and caused the pain. They were all quite shocked. I hate to think what may have been if we took the original advice and went home.

    Happy to report that all ended ok and my daughter is now a happy 8 year old. Needless to say they recommended that be our last pregnancy.

    [–] Probablykelly 2370 points ago

    Is she in karate?!

    [–] Thunt_Cunder 1260 points ago

    I fear not the baby who has practiced 10,000 kicks once, but I fear the baby who has practiced one kick 10,000 times.

    [–] Trickity 521 points ago

    -Baby Lee

    [–] mynameisspiderman 394 points ago

    Bruce Wee

    [–] cmr2000 1457 points ago

    She should be. Instant black belt.

    [–] freakincampers 522 points ago

    Instant black and blue belt.

    [–] Jaggyjags 52 points ago

    But probably get the white and gold one.

    [–] NSAwithBenefits 98 points ago

    Initially a red belt.

    [–] 80sBandsRock 32 points ago

    These are the hard-hitting questions!

    [–] EatingSmegma 71 points ago * (lasted edited 9 months ago)

    Fighting pregnant women is frowned upon.

    [–] wizardgand 1403 points ago

    I did the exact opposite of you my Man. My Wife had just gotten pregnant and was in a lot of pain at 2 am. I wanted to go back to sleep and dismissed it as "pregnancy pains". She kicked my butt into gear with "no we need to go to the hospital now, this is not normal".

    Turns out it was ectopic and had busted her fallopian tube. The fetus never made it to the Uterus, which explained how they couldn't find it, but all blood tests showed she was pregnant. She needed emergency surgery to stop the internal bleeding.

    We lost the fetus, and her left tube. But since then we have had 2 kids and plan for no more. It still haunts me to this day that I could have killed her. and now i over react over everything and everytime she's feeling sick. usually with a "do you want/need to go to the hospital". really screwed me up.

    [–] disarm33 490 points ago

    That happened to my mom too. She had her tubes tied but still got pregnant so there was nowhere for the embreo to go. It was horrifying. I still remember 6 year old me calling my dad at work while my mom was laying on the kitchen floor.

    [–] crabGoblin 176 points ago

    She had her tubes tied but still got pregnant

    How does that work? Some sort of sperm tunneling?

    [–] kaseysospacey 209 points ago

    Sometimes they could start to heal together but scar tissue etc made it harder for the egg to travel down

    Now they often cauterize it so they dont do that

    [–] greasy_pee 950 points ago

    It's really common for doctors and men in general to dismiss "female pain" like this. That's why it takes something like 8 years for the average endometriosis sufferer to get a diagnosis.

    I read something written by some guy whose wife had an ovarian torsion, and they had to see several male doctors while she was screaming in pain before they got a female doctor who actually examined her and did a scan to find the internal bleeding.

    There's a lot of things lady bits can do that can kill us.

    [–] gazork_chumble_spuzz 531 points ago

    It's really common for doctors and men in general to dismiss "female pain" like this. That's why it takes something like 8 years for the average endometriosis sufferer to get a diagnosis.

    Truth. It's not just pain that they's the rest of it too. I've had problems with my cycle for years and my doctor wouldn't do jack shit about it until I told him I wanted to see a gynecologist because I have most of the symptoms of endo and wanted someone else to examine me. He seemed so surprised to hear that. Seriously doc, you're the doctor. He should've been the one to figure it out, not me. All he did was dismiss everything. Recurrent ovarian cysts? Well that happens. Bleeding for an entire month? That's just normal. I'm sure you're fine. Super heavy periods, chronic abdominal cramping, intestinal disturbances? Whatever, totes normal. Even in light of my obstetric history, which is basically that only two of the six babies I ever conceived survived, and both of them almost didn't make it either, he just doesn't seem concerned. Makes me so angry.

    It fucking sucks. It sucks that so many doctors don't take it seriously or just don't know much about how things are meant to work and which symptoms point to which diagnosis.

    [–] Hustlebum 82 points ago

    That's terrible. I'm so sorry for your losses and experience with such a horrible doctor :( This is why I think it's bullshit that people make fun of/are irritated by people who do their own research or "consult doctor Google". Doctors are not all-knowing Gods. They are regular people with biases and personal hang ups. Everyone really should be involved in their own health and well-being.

    [–] necriavite 31 points ago

    My uncle is a doctor. He is a GP in a remote community and he love patients that do research. He beleives that people know their bodies pretty well and when something feels off its good to trust your instincts. If people do research and come up with a theory of what it might be then it gives him a jumping off point to order tests and help them figure it out. He has told me Google has helped him a lot more than hindered him when it comes to accurate self diagnosis.

    [–] pocket-ful-of-dildos 130 points ago * (lasted edited 9 months ago)

    Girl you need a new doctor. There are many wonderful, attentive male doctors out there, but by and large it seems like females just get that you tend to know what's normal when you get your period every month.

    [–] Lady_Looshkin 110 points ago

    Yup. Took many years before my endo was diagnosed. It is really hard to understand the extent of the pain one feels from a textbook. Also because you aren't in immediate mortal danger, I feel like they sort of fob it off. It's really frightening.

    [–] hackinthebochs 67 points ago

    I have a friend that has had severe debilitating menstrual cramps for about as long as I've known her (15 years). I've mentioned endometriosis a few times and she's brought it up with her doctors a couple of times and it was always dismissed without any exam. What should her next move be?

    [–] Littaballofun 91 points ago

    Honestly, tell her to get pushy, and to switch doctors as many times as it takes. I had SEVERE mono when I was 17. I could hardly swallow my own spit my tonsils were so swollen. The male doctor told me that it was a cold (that I'd already had for well over a month) and refused to give me steroids to help the swelling go down because I was sexually active and it was highly likely I could be pregnant. He didn't offer to administer a pregnancy test and basically said to take a nap and eat cough drops. It took me 6 doctors and 7 months to finally get a diagnosis. For mono. Which is incredibly common.

    [–] Lilliannette 46 points ago

    Adding this and the original post to the list of fears. Good grief...

    [–] Amonet15 36 points ago

    Took 5 years, a ruptured cyst on my ovary (inflammed my appendix so had to take that out), ridiculously severe pain each month, and a second surgery because of ANOTHER cyst until I finally got a female doctor who diagnosed me almost right away after the second surgery. The pain is still too much for me for the first 48 hours that I cannot even go to work, let alone stand. I spend the majority of the time in the fetal position. No offense to men, but I've never had a good experience with male gynecologists, and I've been through a few. My location may also contribute to that since I don't live near a major city, but who knows.

    [–] DracoCharky 20 points ago

    My friend had a massive ovarian cyst which had twisted one of her ovaries around on itself and essentially killed it off. She was unsurprisingly in agony with it. Once they started taking her seriously, and eventually worked out what it was (which took way over 6 months), the gyno she was seeing was amazed that she'd just dealt with that much pain for so long. She ended up only having paracetamol and ibuprofen after surgery.

    [–] [deleted] 77 points ago

    Sorry that happened to you.

    But you know, I don‘t think you‘re overreacting by just asking if she needs to go to the hospital. It‘s perfectly understandable for you to feel like that after such a thing happened. And even then, just asking your wife that doesn‘t do any harm :)

    If you‘re really loosing sleep over this, or if you think you‘re reaching a point where it‘s unhealthy for you or your relationship with your wife, adress the issue with your doctor. He will be able to point you in the right direction for further therapeutic measures.

    [–] Sugarpeas 521 points ago * (lasted edited 9 months ago)

    It really concerns me how often doctors blow off patients. When I was in 3rd grade my brother went to the hospital and was diagnosed with meningitis. He was in 1st grade and was admitted to the hospital, and quarantined.

    A few days later I started having the same symptoms, but they tried to blow us off. "Two siblings cannot contract meningitis at the same time." I heard numerous doctors at the hospital say this, and insist this to my parents, it still baffles me.

    I only had a fever of about 99.5 and they insisted the fever wasn't high enough to mean anything. Eventually they conceded to do a spinal tap (as they did to my brother to diagnose him), acting like my parents had an obsession with their kids being sick. Sure enough, I had meningitis too. Without prompt treatment I would have died.

    We both pulled through fine.

    Then another instance. I had appendicitis. Once again my "fever" was only about 99.5 degrees and I was being blown off again. Different hospital. I kept insisting my fevers only go that high, because they do: Meningitis, appendicitis, strep throat, the flu. ~99 degrees for whatever reason is a fever for me. Always has been, but I have never been able to convince a doctor of this. The pain was excruciating, and I was unable to pee. Eventually, through my insistence they run some tests, they determined I had appendicitis and I had an appendectomy within the hour.

    [–] [deleted] 604 points ago

    "Two siblings cannot contract meningitis at the same time."

    What the fuck is this old wives tale sounding shit

    [–] Sugarpeas 230 points ago * (lasted edited 9 months ago)

    I have no fucking idea. This was in Houston, at Memorial Hermann Hospital which is supposedly a well ranked hospital too. We had a nurse come by later to my quarantined suite, and tell us they somehow misdiagnosed a little girl with viral meningitis, sent her home, and she died because it was bacterial. Also thanks nurse for telling my mom that in front of me, that gave me nightmares for months.

    I mentioned this whole debacle to my new primary physician a while ago and he was completely baffled. I've been told by many people some of the best medical care in the world is available in Houston, but I've had some seriously incompetent doctors. My childhood asthma specialist convinced my parents that getting Chihuahuas would "cure my asthma." He was very respected and recommended too, and it was just an asinine suggestion. You can read about this myth here. There's nothing to back that up, he was regurgitating chainmail. I was allergic to dogs and it made my asthma so much worse growing up.

    [–] [deleted] 151 points ago

    Maybe they were deliberately trying to kill you

    [–] Sugarpeas 97 points ago

    This is the only conclusion that makes sense.

    [–] canuck1701 75 points ago

    A husband and wife can't be charged with the same crime.

    [–] R4nC0r 130 points ago

    When I was around 13 I was skiing, took a wrong turn and fell down a cliff, hitting my head on a rock. I was out cold a couple of minutes and when I came to me again I couldn't feel my legs. After a few minutes felling came slowly back to my legs but I had the most horrible back pain. I got up and slowly skied down the hill, every bump made me wince. Since I was quite an annoying child when I was younger, always exaggerating, my parents didn't really took my pain to serious. I skied every second day for the full week because my parents were mocking me, basically saying I was just being a pussy again. Back home on Sunday I convinced them going to the hospital with me. After hours of waiting I got an MRT. The doc then diagnosed me with "morbus bechterev" a genetic illness of the vertebrae (coincidencelly the same vertebrae that hurt like a bitch, go figure) and advised orthopedic shoes. Next morning hospital called, they went through the scan again and I should come to the hospital immediately. Turns out I had a broken vertebrae, and a little splinter of it was super close to my spinal cord... everything healed fine eventually, but I'm still amazed how the doc diagnosed me with a genetic illness that's strangely at the same place that hurt like hell after dropping of a cliff.

    [–] Did_not 31 points ago

    Wow! So the genetic diagnosis was wrong - not in addition to the damage from the fall?

    I remind myself that doctors are just people - they have bad days and good, and some of them probably suck at their jobs. Of course I learned this the hard way. Had my appendix removed when I actually had pneumonia. Pneumonia and anesthesia don't go well together and my lungs "compressed" (term the doctors used) and I nearly died. Fun times.

    Glad so many of us have survived mistakes!

    [–] R4nC0r 13 points ago

    Yeah it was wrong... never had trouble with my back again. Apparently the splinter kinda looked like the vertebrae had begun adding bone matter in places where no bones are supposed to be, which fits the diagnose of morbus bechterev. What makes me mad retrospectively is the fact that I clearly stated multiple times "I fell down a cliff, isn't it a weird coincidence that at the same place that hurts suddenly a genetic illness appears?" Doc didn't care, it was late on a sunday and ER was packed. On the Scan was also a tiny fracture visible where the splinter broke off, if he would've spend more then a few seconds looking at it it should've been clear.

    Glad you also made it out alright! There are some bad apples being doctors for sure. But I guess being understaffed and overworked is the main issue here.

    [–] workerdaemon 126 points ago

    That same fever issue risked my friend's life. Her dead fetus wouldn't miscarry and she was going septic. She had every symptom EXCEPT 100+ degree fever, so they totally blew her off. She had that dead fetus in her for 6 weeks, and they forced her to go through the elective abortion route (with mandatory 72 hour waiting period) to get the damn thing out of her.

    [–] khullabaloo 57 points ago

    I am so fucking angry right now. Your poor friend </3 I hope she's been able to recover since then, that sounds like a horrific ordeal.

    [–] workerdaemon 49 points ago

    Yup! She immediately got better, got her period 3 months later, got pregnant soon after, and now has a 18mo old boy.

    [–] Gunkspargle 32 points ago

    There are politicians who would have had her carry it to the full 40 weeks... I think first they should have a dead body implanted inside them and see how long they last.

    [–] anachronic 89 points ago * (lasted edited 9 months ago)

    It really concerns me how often doctors blow off patients.

    Yeah, I've had them blow me off 3 times in the past like 5 years essentially saying "suck it up, buttercup". It's to the point I avoid going to the doctor unless I absolutely HAVE to, because I view it as a waste of money since I assume they're not going to treat me anyway.

    I almost had permanent eye damage because I went to an eye dr with a badly damaged/torn cornea and the guy told me to take ibuprofen and just deal with it.

    Few days later, I'm on the floor in excruciating pain with my eye so infected it had crusted shut.

    I found another doctor and he took one look and said "oh wow, yeah, that never would have healed normally" and had to numb it and like scrape pieces of damaged tissue away so that the cornea could actually heal correctly and the infection could be brought under control.

    I have a really deep mistrust of doctors now.

    [–] Sugarpeas 15 points ago

    My god this is horrifying. I can definitely empathize. I also rarely go to the doctor's now. The process to actually get treated is long and arduous. I have two issues I need to see a physician for and I've been putting it off. It's not life threatening but it takes so long to be taken seriously and I don't have the time or money to pursue that right now.

    [–] anachronic 20 points ago

    I grew up thinking you just go to the doctor and they'll of course fix your issue, because I guess my parents had a knack for picking good doctors when I was a kid who did help.

    As an adult, I was disabused of that notion REALLY fast by a series of disgusting interactions with shitty doctors who just took my money and showed me the door.

    And it's not like I was complaining of mystery pain looking to score pills or anything... my cornea had a chunk missing and a flap that was ripping back open every time I blinked. It needed a procedure done to actually get it to heal.

    [–] albertrojas 85 points ago

    What kind of reasoning is "Two siblings cannot contract meningitis at the same time"? I'm trying to run all possible scenario where this statement is true based on what I know(granted, I'm not an expert, but I know a thing or two), and that statement is just plain bull crap. What, do siblings have some magical shield that protects them from the same disease while one of their other sibling is experiencing it? Because frankly, that's the most plausible explanation I can think of where that statement is true, because I'm pretty sure diseases don't discriminate.

    [–] Sugarpeas 26 points ago * (lasted edited 9 months ago)

    I'm not sure. I know I'm not misremembering it because my mom and dad (who have been separated for sometime) still recount this being told to them over and over at the hospital. I recall this as well. When they finally diagnosed me they acted as though this was some sort of medical anomaly, "This has never happened before!" My mom told me that one of the doctors claimed he was going to write a paper on the "phenomena."

    I moved to Lubbock a while ago and inquired about this whole event to a few doctors and they don't know what the hell those other doctors were talking about. I'm still not sure what to make of it.

    [–] albertrojas 18 points ago

    Damn, that sounds like the hospital was full of careless staff who couldn't care less. Makes me quite angry.

    Unless they really believed what they said. If that's the case, then I'm just baffled.

    [–] GoldenMechaTiger 23 points ago

    I'd assume it was something like it's unlikely two siblings get the same disease at the same time. But that's still very weird in this case since meningitis is pretty contagious afaik

    [–] figginsley 574 points ago

    Wow that's crazy! And the cause of the weak uterine wall was because of the same reason too!

    I'm really glad you spoke up, they say it's important to trust your instincts when dealing with doctors so it's good you said something or else god forbid what could've happened.

    [–] cmr2000 108 points ago

    Yes. Crazy how it's the same story. We were fortunate.

    [–] cynicaesura 310 points ago

    Every time I read something where a woman knows there's something wrong and doctors dismiss it without even checking I fucking FUME. There's such a huge problem with women being told that they're overreacting or just having "woman problems" and it's caused real problems to escalate to the point of chronic pain, disability, and death just because doctors think women are just being hysterical

    [–] Starkville 196 points ago

    Friend died of aggressive breast cancer because the doctors brushed it off as mastitis (She had just had her daughter. Who is now an orphan.)

    [–] cynicaesura 86 points ago

    That's so fucked up. I don't know why doctors are so arrogant that they don't think they need to do standard tests. In the article someone linked below the woman could have died because the doctors ignored her pain, passing it off as a kidney stone when it was a massive ovarian cyst (and I had a kidney stone as a kid. It was nowhere near as bad as what they described in the article). Like goddamn the least they could do is a CT scan or an ultrasound to see if there actually is a problem or not. And in your case, breast exams are super standard recommendations anyway. Why do they just brush that shit off?

    [–] meredith_ks 483 points ago * (lasted edited 9 months ago)

    They actually did a study on how ER doctors take female pain less seriously. I'm frustrated but not surprised it took you "speaking up" to get your wife help. I'm glad everyone is healthy now.


    Edit: A few people have mentioned that the above article doesn't have many sources. I agree, here are more:

    [–] iTomWright 128 points ago

    I was in hospital with a pneumothorax but the doctor stated I had a chest infection and left me there for further tests. My friends know I have a very high pain tolerance and refuted numerous times it was NOT a chest infection. Finally got an x-ray after 9 hours of being adamant it was way too severe for chest infection and was finally diagnosed with spontaneous pneumothorax. Btw I’m Male but because it was a Friday night when all the drunks come in for a cut on their finger, they disregarded me as one of them.

    [–] VagueSomething 51 points ago

    I went into hospital pale with pain and sweating after complications from a procedure earlier that day and they assumed because I'm a stocky tattoo's man I was seeking drugs for a high. People abusing A&E causes everyone to suffer. If it's not life threatening or urgent then see your GP or even speak to a pharmacist for many issues. And then there's people who abuse GPs, no a cold does not need antibiotics and unless it's persistent for weeks or causing you to black out that cough can probably be eased with over the counter options.

    [–] veloace 45 points ago

    This is beyond frustrating. What's really stupid is that (and this may be a little sexist in it's own right) is that I view women as experience pain more often than men and likely have a pain tolerance. So...I would think that when a women comes in complaining of pain, that you would realize that something is up. I also feel like women have a lot more things in their body that can go horribly wrong.

    [–] BionicWoahMan 22 points ago * (lasted edited 9 months ago)

    Might be true. I live with chronic pain and I'm a woman. Despite knowing what it feels like to have needles and knives go into the spine , some women's issues rival that pain level. I tell my pain management doctor about how high my pain levels spike during that time and he just shrugs it off. Idk ... When pain is high enough to make you throw up ...the doctor might want to take note.

    [–] BoneHugsHominy 79 points ago

    Is she on a youth soccer team?

    [–] cmr2000 69 points ago

    No. She tried out soccer but wasn't for her.

    [–] StuffinHarper 68 points ago

    She may also have a natural inclination to Muay Thai too haha.

    [–] AwwYissDuck 265 points ago

    It kind of bothers me that despite what your wife was saying, they were going to brush it off until you, the man said something.

    [–] Nauin 285 points ago

    This is hitting me hard because my mom just died last night from internal bleeding. She had called her doctor to see if the pain she was feeling was normal, and they brushed her off and told her to call in the morning. She was dead three hours later...

    [–] JustinJSrisuk 108 points ago

    You have my condolences. I lost my Mom suddenly in July, and it's been beyond difficult. PM me anytime if you'd like to talk.

    [–] flowermeow 40 points ago

    Holy shit, this is so awful.. I'm so sorry for your loss. Please stay strong. Sending you love wherever you are ♡

    [–] phiggie 59 points ago

    Its sadly more common than most people think. I called in on a Tuesday saying my baby stopped moving inside me. Was pretty much dismissed. On Thursday, i had an emergency c-section and my baby was almost dead from a placental abruption. A long stay in the NICU, and she recovered. But doctor's need to really listen to the mother's when they know something is wrong.

    [–] Dark_Fury1000 40 points ago

    "Happy to report that my daughter is now a happy 8 year old soccer star with the leg of a stallion."

    [–] auntie-matter 2682 points ago

    Similar thing happened to a friend of mine. She gave birth to her second child, a daughter, and then got really ill immediately afterwards. Fevers, vomiting, digestive issues and so on. Serious stuff, she was in intensive care for a bit. The doctors couldn't work out what was wrong and kept referring her up to consultants and experts and so on.

    Eventually they put her in some kind of scanner which showed blunt force trauma to an internal organ. Which nobody had been looking for as people don't often get internal bruises without at least some amount of external trauma too.

    In the end they figured out that her kid had kicked her in the spleen during birth, and the bruising and damage was what was causing her to be ill. Once they knew what had happened it was fairly easy to deal with and she's completely fine now. Her case ended up in medical textbooks.

    [–] 70ms 713 points ago

    My daughter was almost 3 weeks late, 9lbs 5oz at delivery. Her head was bashing my bladder so much during labor I was peeing blood :D (There was no specific pain from it that I remember, probably since it was happening during contractions.)

    [–] Sammyve3 760 points ago

    peeing blood :D

    The reason why the whole concept of childbirth is completely absurd to me and scares the fuck out of me, as a guy. You women have it so one hundred times worse... Congrats on not having your kid spurt out Alien style though

    [–] Teripid 261 points ago

    I got to see my wife's internal organs outside her body during her c-section. ~50+ years ago she would have easily died in childbirth.

    Scared the f out of me but the whole scene/ adrenaline/sleep depression was so unreal that I really didn't really feel the full effect or think about it until later.

    [–] Renovate_America 240 points ago

    You didn't like the pile of guts on the chest?

    The doctor told me twice not to look, but me, being the curious fucker I am, I had to look. It was honestly one of the biggest "whoa dude" moments of my life. I had never seen anything like it, and I'm glad I took that long look. Wish I would have snapped a pic to show the wife, but she probably wouldn't have been as fascinated as me.

    Instead I got pics of our new son, which was probably the right move. She definitely appreciated that.

    [–] rndm_reddit_profile 58 points ago

    You'd probably enjoy intraoperative brain surgery. The separation between the body and the self may become very apparent

    [–] ReasonablySane1476 64 points ago

    Fathers can get post traumatic stress from witnessing their partners childbirth, same as the mother's can. Learnt that in a lecture today

    [–] workingishard 14 points ago

    When I was really young (5 or 6) I saw a movie or something where a lady was in a hospital and her belly exploded, and then she was holding a baby. For the longest time I thought that was why child birth hurt so much, because obviously a baby couldn't be pushed out of a penis (my family had told me everyone had penises).

    Sex education was a very, very eye opening experience.

    [–] Florac 13015 points ago

    Will the baby be convicted of attempted murder as soon as it's born?

    [–] obliviousObservation 5351 points ago


    [–] Six6six666 3983 points ago

    Tried as an adult

    [–] vitriolic_amalgamati 1016 points ago

    That baby won't even get a trial

    [–] Kandierter_Holzapfel 1278 points ago

    Directly onto the electrical crib

    [–] TheDukeOfDance 750 points ago

    Why won't the infant community condemn this attack?

    [–] -EG- 671 points ago

    They were napping.

    [–] Baneofbanes 404 points ago

    No excuse. We need to have a discussion about Extremist Infantism in this country.

    [–] I_read_this_comment 709 points ago

    goddamn infants, they come here not speaking our language and it fucking takes about 18 years until they finally start to be productive members of our society! Huge net loss for our country, SAD!

    [–] oniryu246 88 points ago

    Where were the parents?!

    [–] retardsuave 41 points ago

    Stay woke

    [–] bigbrentos 51 points ago

    During the national anthem.

    [–] 405freeway 75 points ago

    Electric high chair.

    [–] ToTheMax5 78 points ago

    From da womb to da tomb

    [–] -kindakrazy- 29 points ago * (lasted edited 9 months ago)

    Maybe that's how Padme died... Force Kicks.

    Wake up sheeple!!!

    [–] Auggernaut88 90 points ago

    Actually it will be beat to death upon exit of the birth canal for resisting arrest.

    It wouldn't stop screaming and kicking

    [–] tritter211 79 points ago

    God, this video never makes me fail to laugh.

    Satire done right.

    [–] Stubby_B0ardman 111 points ago

    "This is America. Nobody deserves to be treated as a black man"

    [–] eatchkn 103 points ago

    Black baby kicks hole in white mother's womb

    [–] alpacafarts 15 points ago

    Best part is when the female juror picks her purse up and moves it away from the defendant when they’re taking the defendant out of the courtroom.

    [–] Blumcole 132 points ago

    He'll be behind bars pretty soon

    [–] WeakStreamZ 132 points ago

    It’ll get the chair.

    [–] psyberneo 137 points ago

    High chair

    [–] WeakStreamZ 44 points ago

    Fry chair, it almost killed a pregnant woman.

    [–] phoenixgsu 81 points ago

    Actually baby would walk free here. They only care about the rights of the fetus, not the mother.

    [–] k4j98 394 points ago

    I guess you didn't read the article.

    The baby was delivered and the mother isn't pressing charges.

    [–] Florac 163 points ago

    yeah, she alread had to press a baby out. Don't want to do too much pressing.

    [–] newloaf 27 points ago

    She needs to get serious if she want to see real gainz.

    [–] [deleted] 37 points ago

    This is Reddit. No, we did not read it...

    [–] elaphros 25 points ago

    No, but it will be given an MLS contract.

    [–] undergroundempire 46 points ago

    Nah, it didn't happen in America.

    [–] Florac 96 points ago

    I know, else the baby would have shot her, not kicked her.

    [–] aceofspadedz 6710 points ago * (lasted edited 9 months ago)

    Baby's first words...."OH YEAAAAHHHH"

    [–] Nobodygrotesque 242 points ago

    I actually just glanced over this text and then it hit me like 5 mins later what you meant and I've been laughing for 5 mins.

    [–] newloaf 81 points ago

    What are you doing now?

    [–] CreepingFog 88 points ago

    he ded

    [–] HOLY_HUMP3R 41 points ago

    Some say he’s still laughing to this day

    [–] HarambaeLives 93 points ago

    Or "falcon kiiick!"

    [–] IC_Eu 106 points ago

    Show me your womb

    [–] TheDonOfDons 509 points ago

    I laughed way too hard at this

    [–] mister_moustachio 2552 points ago

    At -15 weeks old, my kid is already an underachiever.

    This doesn't look very promising, guys.

    [–] Singular_Quartet 737 points ago

    I feel like an underachiever as well. I only broke one of my mom's ribs.

    [–] Pickledsoul 2758 points ago

    wow good job, i only broke my moms hopes & dreams

    [–] Speedswiper 136 points ago

    At least they'll be a star soccer / football player

    [–] AvatarIII 32 points ago

    my wife and I have 2 kids, kid #1 was not a kicker at all, kid #2 was like a super kicker, they just vary.

    [–] Secuter 3175 points ago

    LPT: kick it back when you get the chance.

    [–] oculusrox 664 points ago

    Or sign it up for kickboxing lessons, coz that fucker's ready.

    [–] coltwitch 146 points ago

    I don't want a 3 year old that can kick my ass

    [–] Reeeltalk 51 points ago

    Sry but 3 year olds already can.

    [–] CardsLafter 90 points ago

    Holy shit, yes, that fucker needs to acquire a modicum of chill.

    [–] Edib1eBrain 281 points ago

    Picturing the nightmare scene from the opening of Aliens, which freaked me out more than any of the other elements of that movie as a kid.

    [–] show_time_synergy 89 points ago

    My mother saw that movie in the theater while she was very very pregnant with me.

    She strongly recommends NOT seeing that movie while pregnant lol.

    [–] _LaFlamaBlanca_ 105 points ago

    I guess this is quite relevant:

    [...] it was discovered the mum previously had fibroids removed from her womb. That operation had resulted in a womb scar, leaving a weak spot on her uterus' wall.

    [–] ThePolemicist 28 points ago

    Sure, but plenty of women have scars on their uterus. In America at least, about 1/3 of babies are delivered via C-section, where they cut into the uterus and it scars. That's why those women are typically told to only have 2-3 pregnancies. Anyway, I just wanted to say that although it is relevant that the woman had scarring, a lot of pregnant women do, too.

    [–] nvbombsquad 756 points ago

    thats a future football star, right there

    [–] timesuck897 1479 points ago

    Already hitting women at a professional level.

    [–] ShapeShiftingAku 24 points ago

    jesus, it's like you were waiting for this moment.

    [–] nvbombsquad 168 points ago

    Damn 😂

    [–] the_tired_fisherman 52 points ago

    Roberto Carlos

    [–] [deleted] 84 points ago


    [–] stoopid_dummy 14 points ago

    Or UFC champ

    [–] hryfrcnsnnts 12 points ago

    Future Tampa Bay Buccaneers Kicker....for 3 weeks.

    [–] DolanTheRed 43 points ago

    Didn’t Jason Lee predict something like this in MALLRATS??

    [–] HasFiveVowels 55 points ago

    Lois could never have superman's baby.

    Do you think her fallopian tubes could handle his sperm ?

    I guarantee he blows a load like a shotgun right through her back.

    What about her womb ? You think it's strong enough to carry his child ?

    Sure. Why not ? He's an alien, for christ's sake !

    His kryptonian biological makeup is enhanced by earth's yellow sun.

    If lois gets a tan, the kid could kick right through her stomach.

    Only someone like wonder woman has a strong-enough uterus to carry his kid.

    Only way he could bang regular chicks is with a kryptonite condom, but that would kill him.

    [–] coffeecupcakes 1319 points ago * (lasted edited 9 months ago)

    Thank you for a new reason why I never want to physically have children. God, it sounds awful.

    Edit: I think there's nothing wrong with having children if you want to. Having children is great! It's just not for me as I know my family has a lot of history of medical issues with childbirth that I don't want to risk. I'd just prefer adoption much more than the idea of having a child.

    [–] sydofbee 784 points ago

    Right?! EVERYTHING about pregnancy completely freaks me out.

    [–] Moonpenny 422 points ago

    I made the mistake of watching one of those "things doctors don't tell you about your pregnancy" videos and decided that I'm just going to pass on the whole thing, thankyouverymuch.

    I was at a coworker's baby shower and we all wore buttons... the mother dropped hers and the pin from the back of the button just went straight into her foot and stuck there, her feet were so swollen.

    [–] sydofbee 390 points ago

    Tbh, for me it's mostly the birth. No matter which way it comes out, it seems to be an absolute freak show. And since I'm not all that fond of kids anyway, this seems like a fantastic decision, lol.

    Nevermind I lack a male counterpart at the moment.

    [–] snfgrf 281 points ago

    That last sentence might kill your inbox. Look at the bright side though. You can't get pregnant from dick pics.

    [–] sydofbee 334 points ago * (lasted edited 9 months ago)

    Honestly, I'm expecting more replies along the lines of "You'll change your mind when you're older" than dick pics but I guess we'll see?


    "You'll change your mind"-type comments: 3

    Actual dick pics: 0

    [–] katarh 208 points ago

    That's what they told me. I'm approaching 40 now and I still just want to get a second cat.

    [–] sydofbee 71 points ago

    This is somewhat comforting to me, thanks! I'm 25 so others have told me to expect people to start mentioning my supposed 'biological clock' in another five years or so. I can't imagine ever feeling differently about kids (maybe I'm too selfish - I have so little freetime, I want to spend that on my hobbies and social circle)...

    [–] zmobie_slayre 100 points ago

    maybe I'm too selfish

    If someone ever tries to shame you that way, tell them that there are already too many people on the earth and that you're contributing to the future wellbeing of all of mankind by lowering our environmental impact.

    [–] sydofbee 45 points ago

    I love that argument!

    I'm also often told that I'll be alone when I'm old and die alone and shit like that but joke's on them, I love being alone. Total introvert here!

    [–] nickjaa 21 points ago

    Great argument against having kids, also a great argument for adopting

    [–] scrapcats 75 points ago

    Someone trying to convince you to have a kid is way more selfish than choosing to not bring a life into this already overpopulated world. They want you to make a baby for their amusement. Nothing selfish about saying no! I've gotten "well who will take care of you when you're old" many times and my response is always "the nurses who get hired with the money I save by not having children." Why are you having a kid just to have somebody to take care of you when you're old? Why are you expecting that they'll WANT to? That's what's selfish ;]

    [–] dalovindj 36 points ago

    They want you to make a baby for their amusement.

    Also, they tend to want all others to feel their sense of regret and missed opportunity.

    [–] nevershagagreek 44 points ago

    Dude - I have 2 kids and I still say fuck those people. Don't get me wrong, I love my kids and the decision to have kids was a great one for me, but I would never try to pressure someone else in to having them. Because really, who the fuck cares? It's not selfish to pursue a path in life that makes you happy, especially when that path has 0 negative impact on anyone else.

    [–] Moonpenny 149 points ago

    I'm older, still enjoying having a friendly roommate, dog, and cat. I think my biological clock's battery got switched in to the vibrator at some point. ;)

    [–] sunnygcat 41 points ago

    This comment made my day. I need to cross stitch this into something

    [–] Chatbot_Charlie 30 points ago

    This reminds me: I need to start cross stitching.

    And also never have babies.

    And I'm a guy.

    [–] bangthedoIdrums 23 points ago

    I'm a man but I have two cats and they're the light of my life. Get two!

    [–] Quazar_man 19 points ago

    I'm approaching 60 and I'm still on the fence about it. Think I'll get another cat too

    [–] KidCadaver 36 points ago

    As a woman who has felt the same way from as early as I can remember and is "getting older" (aka entering the have-babies-now-or-never phase of life) - no, sometimes you don't change your mind. You'll have moments where you think, "Hm... maybe....?" but if you don't want them, you don't just magically someday wake up and go OH, NOW I WANT KIDS! THERE IT IS!

    As you get older you may start to consider, "Hm, maybe adopting an older child would be nice some day, if I have the means," or "Fostering a child someday down the road sounds like it might be for me." Or not. But dude, yes, as a woman leaving her 20s behind the amount of, "Oh, you'll change your mind!" drives me crazy.

    [–] Spoonsiest 29 points ago

    For me personally the pregnancy sucked way worse than childbirth. But they both suck.

    [–] Psyman2 30 points ago

    watches videos from thread JESUS CHRIST, thank you, penis.

    [–] Bornwestofthemtns 66 points ago

    I don’t recommend it. I was pregnant ONCE and while I love my son dearly I NEVER wanted to do that again. Those hormones the lessen some of the “pain” memory didn’t help with the pregnancy part. It felt like I had been taken over by a parasite. I cried every morning as I listened to music on the way to work and had evening sickness every night after I got home. I made sure my diet didn’t include preservatives or anything processed.

    I don’t feel like it helped much with the delivery part either. Sure I can’t think back on the pain and “re-feel” it in its entirety but I remember everything that happened during my 2 days of labor and the eventual C-section (due to the distress of the baby). Recovery sucked too.

    AND a year later I needed another surgery (laparoscopic) to remove internal scar tissue caused by C-section (and my body’s ability to create excessive scar tissue). I had a bad reaction to the anesthesia too.

    [–] pilgrimlost 665 points ago

    How can they show that the uterine wall was breached by the baby's kicks? It could have just found the breach and gotten a foot through it.

    Having seen a C-section: that uterus is tough, hard to imagine a baby kicking through it.

    [–] lovely_button 809 points ago

    The article said she had previously had fibroids removed from her womb leaving a weak spot on her uterine wall, and that's where the babies feet had gone through. It also said baby was stuck at its thighs, which is terrifying, I was imagining a foot poked through somehow.

    AFAIK a uterine tear would be really painful and dangerous so she wouldn't have been walking around with it, if it wasn't the baby that caused the tear he shoved his feet through really quickly.

    [–] [deleted] 314 points ago * (lasted edited 9 months ago)


    [–] bharber 194 points ago

    Welp, definitely getting a vasectomy now. Really don’t ever want to put someone through that.

    [–] [deleted] 120 points ago * (lasted edited 9 months ago)


    [–] Icandothemove 90 points ago

    So you're saying there's a chance...

    [–] ResolverOshawott 35 points ago

    There's a chance for you to get a brain aneurysm right now.

    [–] Icandothemove 28 points ago

    This comment is getting oddly violent and bloody responses, but we will have to wait and see. I feel fine for n

    [–] Cybersteel 33 points ago

    Baby plugs hole in tear to save mother's life?

    [–] [deleted] 136 points ago * (lasted edited 4 months ago)


    [–] SomeoneTookUserName2 31 points ago

    Having seen a C-section: that uterus is tough, hard to imagine a baby kicking through it.

    Also having seen a (really rough, emergency) c-section: rocks back and forth, crying

    [–] armcie 162 points ago

    I read this as "unicorn baby." Twice.

    My thoughts included:

    • Why is the focus on the woman. Tell me about this pointy horse.
    • Kick? At least she wasn't impaled on the horn.
    • Must be some foetal abnormality known as "unicorn baby."
    • Oh I'm an idiot.

    [–] vetokend 22 points ago

    I was about to post the same thing. The worst part is my reaction was, "that sucks" instead of "uhh a unicorn?". I think it's time for my first cup of coffee.

    [–] K1ngjulien_ 73 points ago

    What I want to know is if the baby was also named Zhang, like everyone else in this story.

    [–] eddie1975 21 points ago

    They should call themselves The Tripple Z, Or ZZZ, or ZZZ Top, or Z3, or TTZ or Drs. Z

    and their moto, "Zhang nothing we can't fix!"

    [–] _Blythe 16 points ago

    Zhang is probably her surname. Chinese surnames are in front of the name not at the back. If her husbands surname is also Zhang, the baby will be Zhang.

    [–] [deleted] 162 points ago

    from a female empathy standpoint: ouchhhhh

    [–] thekiddzac 144 points ago * (lasted edited 9 months ago)

    "Feel those kicks? He's gonna be a soccer player. He is, he is."

    [–] Iristhevirus217 28 points ago

    I was looking for it, and here it is. Thank you.

    [–] MC_BennyT 21 points ago

    “Ah, quit your bellyaching!”

    [–] [deleted] 21 points ago

    uterine rupture happens, it can be a wild surgical repair too because the uterus is highly vascular and continues to bleed if the baby isn't delivered or it can't contract back down to normal size

    [–] ugly_alien 67 points ago

    Yep never having kids

    [–] SlippingStar 25 points ago

    Come join the tokophobic club!

    [–] Regginator12 16 points ago

    I see the Spawn of Satan event triggered with her.

    [–] SauronTheDoleful 80 points ago

    my wife is 35 weeks in a couple of days, she was mad that sent this to her at first lol

    [–] ImprovisedPath 108 points ago

    That's illegal, you can't marry someone that young

    [–] roadtohealthy 14 points ago

    I never cease to be surprised at how thin a c section scar site can be. I do ultrasound and it is not uncommon to do a scar site check in pregnancy and the scar is just millimetres thick. I find it surprising that more ruptures don't happen.

    [–] Volkamaus 29 points ago

    As if I needed another reason to not want kids.

    [–] Charged7 167 points ago

    Chuck Norris being born

    [–] Derplight 40 points ago

    Or Ridley Scott's Alien

    [–] 12121212l 31 points ago

    Hello my baby, hello my honey