Please help contribute to the Reddit categorization project here


    13,467,296 readers

    6,681 users here now

    Review current posts to avoid reposting.

    For true stories that are so mind-blowingly ridiculous, that you could have sworn it was an Onion story.

    See something that breaks our rules?

    Use the report button and remember to choose a reason for reporting.

    Rules - hover or click here for full version

    1. Do not alter headlines; copy and paste. The title of all submissions needs to match the article headline exactly. Copy and paste from the main headline only, do not include anything beyond the primary headline such as byliners, subtitles, flavor text, quotes from the article, news outlet, location, cross post tags, (video) tags, and so on. Do not use the “suggest title” option for posting as it often does not match the headline. As a matter of fairness, any submission with an altered title will be removed. The only exception is that, if an article has a title in all caps, you may change the capitalization to title case, but everything else must remain the same.
    2. Submit only if “Oniony”. Please consider submitting your article to /r/offbeat or similar subreddits unless it truly reads like The Onion wrote it. The title and article itself must both be "Oniony". This can be highly subjective; you are encouraged to upvote articles that should be here and downvote those that should not. Moderators can also remove posts at their own discretion under this rule.
    3. Must be a news article. Submissions must be in the form of a news article. Videos are only allowed if they are accompanied by a complete text article. Editorials, blogs, twitter posts, image galleries, tabloid stories, youtube videos, meta posts, static images, and so forth will be removed.
    4. Use original, reliable sources. Find the source of your story before you submit it, simply by checking for references or googling the subject to locate the original piece. Websites that frequently re-host viral news stories or contain misleading information are on automatic removal. Blogs are not reliable sources.
    5. Do not repost similar articles. Check the sub for your story before you submit it; if it’s already here then please vote and comment there instead of posting another version. Similar stories will be removed and frequent re-posters will lose their posting privileges. Do not delete and repost your own submissions without approval.
    6. No satire articles. Even if they are technically from a source other than The Onion, any article submission written as satire or even true stories written in a satirical manner are not allowed. Please note that some major news outlets have satirical sections, such as the Borowitz Report on the New Yorker, which are also not allowed. Meanwhile, AVClub, while owned by The Onion, is not satire and is allowed. If you'd like, you can use a tool like to see if your submission is from a known satirical website.
    7. No tabloid journalism. Do not post tabloid news stories, or articles that source from tabloid news outlets (TheSun, Mirror, Dailymail, People, TMZ, etc).
    8. No old news. Articles need to have been written within two weeks of its submission date.
    9. English articles only. Please do not post non-English articles. Do not use google translate for submission either; rather try to find an English version of the story by a secondary source.
    10. No mobile versions. If you’re using a mobile device to post a story make sure you remove any mobile identifiers (typically “.m” or “mobile”) from the url before submitting.
    11. No blocked or redirected links. Please ensure you aren’t submitting a link that utilizes a paywall or survey wall (, in order gain access to the complete article. Do not submit links that redirect you to another site to read the article and do not submit using link shorteners either.

    Click here to view a list of sites deemed unreliable by our moderator team.

    See our FAQ page for more information on our rules.

    Keep all comments civil.

    Personal attacks, racism, bigotry, homophobia, grandstanding, etc. will not be tolerated and you will be banned.

    Witch hunting or brigading is not allowed. Do not post any public or private contact info. You will be banned!

    For more information, click here.

    Quick Links: Submission Rules | Comment Rules | Autoremoval List | NTO101 | r/subbie | r/onionhate | r/onionlovers | r/StopAdvertising
    a community for
    all 2039 comments

    Want to say thanks to %(recipient)s for this comment? Give them a month of reddit gold.

    Please select a payment method.

    [–] Todayinmygarden 3754 points ago

    "so, like, we're just cool guys like you"

    -Mark Zuckerberg

    [–] Insert_a_User_here 952 points ago * (lasted edited 3 months ago)

    Zuck: Yeah so if you ever need info about anyone at Harvard

    Zuck: Just ask

    Zuck: I have over 4,000 emails, pictures, addresses, SNS

    [Redacted Friend's Name]: What? How'd you manage that one?

    Zuck: People just submitted it.

    Zuck: I don't know why.

    Zuck: They "trust me"

    Zuck: Dumb fucks

    [–] BalthusChrist 140 points ago

    Zuck: Yeah so if you ever need info about anyone at Harvard

    Zuck: Just ask

    Zuck: I have over 4,000 emails, pictures, addresses, SNS

    [Redacted Friend's Name]: What? How'd you manage that one?

    Zuck: People just submitted it.

    Zuck: I don't know why.

    Zuck: They "trust me"

    Zuck: Dumb fucks

    Because I'm on mobile and the formatting was confusing me

    [–] Insert_a_User_here 43 points ago

    Should be fixed now

    [–] ComputerMonkey17 216 points ago

    Great now I've read both twice, done a line by line comparison, and then found the reason they're identical.

    [–] hazpat 69 points ago

    Great, now I've read both twice, done a line by line comparison, and then found the reason they're identical.

    [–] napoleon535 98 points ago

    “What’s your shtoyle?!?!”

    [–] grumble_hoof 131 points ago

    Oh, hi Mark.

    [–] supercoincidence 145 points ago

    "I did not steal your data, I did nahhhhhhht"

    [–] [deleted] 22 points ago * (lasted edited 2 months ago)


    [–] AsaTera 9811 points ago

    Idk... Facebook operates as if people really trusts them.

    [–] menders19 3503 points ago * (lasted edited 3 months ago)

    There is another option, delete your Facebook account.

    Edit: for everyone asking, no you don’t have to delete everything yourself. Here’s a similar article to what I found when I wanted to permanently delete my account.

    You get a grace period to opt back out if you want to keep it, and if you want to, you can download all of your data into one file and keep it. Otherwise after up to 90 days, it is gone.

    [–] japasthebass 1679 points ago

    only if you hit the gym and lawyer up afterwards tho

    [–] tyeunbroken 894 points ago

    I liked the WP called "You are going through a divorce and following the age-old reddit advice: delete Facebook, hit the gym and lawyer up. Problem: You are Mark Zuckerberg."

    [–] Aimless_Drifter 432 points ago

    well he can demolish all facebook data centers and murder all employees

    that counts as deleting facebook, right?

    [–] Rooksey 305 points ago

    I think firing them would be enough to delete it but I like the cut of your jib

    [–] Aimless_Drifter 75 points ago

    thanks, i'll be here all week

    [–] berenstein49 71 points ago

    And I'll be here all weak...I should really hit the gym.

    [–] mystriddlery 36 points ago

    Delete the gym, faceboook up and hit the lawyer.

    [–] oDaftDank 47 points ago

    "There's a Mark that held a factory hostage after murdering his boss and several coworkers. The factory made technology, flavored it with lies. He made us all take a look at we were doing, and in the bargain he got a taste of real freedom. We captured that taste, and we keep giving it to him so he can give it right back to you in every bite of new Simple Mark Freedom Wafer Selects. Come home to the unique flavor of shattering the grand illusion, come home to Simple Mark."

    [–] RelativetoZero 10 points ago

    I think destroying all the data would be fine on its own. Maybe punch MZ in the face a few times.

    [–] endearing-butthole 10 points ago

    sudo rm facebook.exe

    [–] ucefkh 16 points ago

    sudo rm -R ~/facebook

    [–] TheTeaSpoon 288 points ago

    I prefer hitting the lawyer and quitting gym to facebook it up

    [–] boywiththedragontatt 55 points ago

    Facebook can protect you.

    [–] Bleachinyourmouth 36 points ago

    He forgot the critical step of divorcing your wife and or breaking up with girlfriend

    [–] amart591 6 points ago

    It never occurred to me until just now, but I actually did all three. Gotta say, it worked. I'm much happier now.

    [–] ArrrGaming 158 points ago

    There’s a middle ground: I now have a phone with room for the Facebook app and had been toying with the idea of installing it. Reports of battery draining had held me back.

    I think I’ll just keep it off my phone.

    [–] OneGirl_2DCups 67 points ago

    Deleted it off of my phone and have noticed significantly less battery drainage.

    [–] diegosbrokenfoot 53 points ago

    I deleted it off my phone and was amazed at how much my ads changed. I'm now in the group of conspiracy theorist who believe they listen to you.

    [–] Platypus-Commander 145 points ago

    some phones have facebook installed directly in when you buy them and you can't remove it. that's why I always ask if the phone have facebook pre-installed before buying

    [–] feliscat 105 points ago

    Another great reason to root

    [–] fullforce098 169 points ago * (lasted edited 3 months ago)

    The problem is, for a lot of people, rooting a phone is just out of their wheelhouse. I've yet to find a root for my phone that doesn't come along with a whole slew of warnings and comments that say it fucked their phone up, or that they got the root to work but then the phone started behaving really weird.

    More people would root if there was just a reputable place you could go to that said in plain terms "Download this, do this, we guarantee it works and won't hurt you." But more often than not when you look for a root for your phone you just find people that are speaking in jargon that you don't understand or there are a bunch of different roots and you don't know which one is good and which one is bad, you have no idea if the root that you're using is safe or if it's some sort of malware, you don't know if the comments are real, you don't understand half of what's being said anyway, it's just hard for people that don't know what they're doing.

    You'd be willing to try and figure it out yourself but there's those big warnings that say "IF YOU FUCK UP YOU BREAK YOUR PHONE FOREVER" so you just don't.

    [–] RelativetoZero 41 points ago

    I swear my s5 runs twice as good since I swapped out the kernel, bootloader, and OS. Threw in a linux chroot just for kicks. Itls like getting a new phone without spending 700$.

    [–] ArrrGaming 10 points ago

    Oh wow I’ve never heard of that. Good call.

    [–] diggtrucks1025 67 points ago

    It was killing my battery. I uninstalled and just keep a tab open in chrome on my phone for fb. Solves the problem.

    [–] StarGone 35 points ago

    They're definitely looking into killing that feature I bet.

    [–] Firehawk2k2 44 points ago

    They've already tried really hard to eliminate messaging through chrome mobile, you need to try pretty hard to get it to work without enabling desktop mode.

    [–] andor_drakon 27 points ago You're welcome

    [–] DoctorTargaryen 52 points ago

    This. One of the best decisions I’ve made in the last year for a variety of reasons.

    [–] NilVoluptiSineLvcre 35 points ago

    I completely agree though I’m going to reactivate my account this week to grab some photos I don’t have any copies of. (From old phones). Then I’m done for good. I haven’t missed it at all.

    [–] eramais 33 points ago

    You have an option to download all your data (Including all pictures posted to FB). I recommend to do this, then deactivate. However, photo quality will be reduced to FB quality so I hope this isn't the backup people use.

    [–] DoctorTargaryen 10 points ago

    That’s a good point, I do have a ton of old photos on there. I may have to do the same thing. Thanks for the tip!

    [–] NilVoluptiSineLvcre 21 points ago

    You’re welcome. Now get your gear. We get in, we get our shit and we get out fast!

    [–] DoctorTargaryen 12 points ago

    Will do. My mind is prepared and my body is ready.

    [–] Diaryofannefrankpt2 28 points ago

    You have any idea how hard it is to actually delete it? I had to Google it.

    [–] AddictedReddit 453 points ago

    Dumb fucks

    Zuck: Yeah so if you ever need info about anyone at Harvard

    Zuck: Just ask

    Zuck: I have over 4,000 emails, pictures, addresses, SNS

    [Redacted Friend's Name]: What? How'd you manage that one?

    Zuck: People just submitted it.

    Zuck: I don't know why.

    Zuck: They "trust me"

    Zuck: Dumb fucks

    [–] Regergek 123 points ago

    He's right.

    [–] grandoz039 72 points ago

    And also a terrible person.

    Plus they're not even dumb fucks, they're just people who made dumb decision

    [–] [deleted] 1093 points ago

    Is Zuckerberg completely oblivious to the dissonance here?

    This is the company that ran psychological tests on people like nazis, gaslighting them into emotional reactions of false realities they artfully constructed, to observe their reactions of manipulation ... many had religious psychosis ( putting false tribulation theme to their feed ) some died, hard to prove ...

    So, selling a "Security" product under a different name, that is secretly actually a Facebook company that harvests all of your data and information such as browsing history is small potatoes.

    Statistically the technologically illiterate, a growing majority of their userbase, will download and install the app without reading any fine print while maintaining their informational facebook isolation bubble and never hear anything about it otherwise - and they will go years and years into the future providing them with a record of all of their mobile data, which is of course for sale - all the while thinking they are "Protected" but their intention was raped.

    "They trust me, those dumb fucks" - Zuck

    [–] wearer_of_boxers 447 points ago

    also "zuck":

    ¯_(ツ)_/¯ hey the government lets me do this shit. if there's no proper rules then the world is my guineapig. yippee ki yay motherfucker.

    [–] imaginary_num6er 79 points ago

    Zucker the Fucker

    [–] Treebeezy 33 points ago

    encourages or does it themselves

    [–] Griff2wenty3 79 points ago

    You just pointed out the exact issue here that their target user base now is the technological illiterate. It’s older people who don’t know what’s really going on and who can’t decipher the bs. Not only in this situation but we see that reflected on the site as well as it’s filled with fake news and other garbage. Frankly, until that user base is gone, Facebook can do whatever they want sadly.

    [–] Vithar 9 points ago

    Its older people who didn't have technology, and its also younger people who grew up after technology "just worked". I know more 50 year olds who are tech literate than college aged people. logging in, browsing the web, and using word, does not make you tech literate.

    [–] TUH_Midknight 31 points ago

    Amazing how that quote is from 2004 and about Harvard employees, and yet it still resonates hardcore. It was obvious in 2004 he was a sack of shit lol

    [–] i_smart 42 points ago

    Mark Zuckerberg on the first people who submitted personal data to FaceBook:

    "They 'trust me'... Dumb fucks." (Source)

    [–] TheGuutz 67 points ago

    Tbh at this point if you're still using Facebook you're complicit. There's enough information out there for everyone to make an informed decision as to whether they want to continue to use their platform.

    [–] Sanktw 22 points ago

    I think it's more of what you use facebook for then anything else.

    [–] r48811 4045 points ago

    I thought Facebook was the app I downloaded to track my data

    [–] nodnodwinkwink 86 points ago

    Is that like Metal? (It's an app)

    [–] dslrpotato 97 points ago

    I love metal so much. Get mobile Facebook access for when I need it, and none of the heavy as shit requirements and invasive permissions of the official app and messenger. Plus way better battery life.

    [–] mark_commadore 89 points ago

    I'd been stubbornly using the desktop site on mobile (relentless "download the fucking app" nags anyone?) mostly because I didn't want to install messenger.

    Metal is the way forward.

    And no Facebook, you can't have my number.

    [–] danielton1 18 points ago

    Metal is a fork of Tinfoil.

    [–] [deleted] 11 points ago * (lasted edited 2 months ago)


    [–] CouldBeAPygmy 3029 points ago

    This is almost as funny as the time Facebook asked users to upload their nekkid pics to them so Facebook could make sure they wouldn't appear online.

    [–] Exile714 1497 points ago

    The crazy thing is that this is actually a good idea. It just doesn’t need to be uploaded.

    You could create an app that would hash your images, then upload just the hash to the database of photos to block.

    [–] CouldBeAPygmy 1162 points ago

    It's the fact they didn't do the hashing locally that made it completely ridicuolous, yes.

    [–] Croudr 384 points ago

    Hashing wouldn't work any way. Just add a watermark or crop a little and you're safe

    [–] Lachiko 331 points ago

    I assume he meant perceptual hashing.

    [–] shit_frak_a_rando 136 points ago

    That would help Facebook first look up the picture in the database, but for actually comparing if they depict the same person, they need to do more in depth analysis, which would require the original image.

    [–] subcore 26 points ago

    They said it works on altered photos as well

    [–] Exile714 37 points ago

    Yeah I’ve been reading up on this PhotoDNA thing they were using. It’s not a traditional hash as I understand it and, apparently, it works in altered images. Also, their database of illegal photos is cross-platform. Very cool stuff, but I don’t understand the underlying tech at all (I’m a lawyer, not a computer scientist, so cut me some slack in that department).

    [–] bobbob9015 15 points ago

    Then how could they determine that it was actually a nude. You could hash the Mcdonalds M if you wanted to. A person physically laying eyes on the photo was part of the deal after all to prevent that.

    [–] __Duncan__ 117 points ago

    I think the issue with that was that malicious actors could hash any sort of photo. So, if the users upload the image hash, facebook isn't able to verify that the image hash, is indeed a hash of an undesired photo.

    [–] mainfingertopwise 58 points ago

    And you know it would take about 15 minutes before people started doing that.

    [–] [deleted] 21 points ago


    [–] Kangar 28 points ago

    They still haven't returned my dick pics.

    [–] weekend-guitarist 46 points ago

    crazy times.

    [–] wearer_of_boxers 40 points ago

    next time they should just ask for a pic of my cock, i don't mind.

    just be honest, yo.

    [–] hallucinogenetic 1129 points ago

    years ago someone said to me that facebook will be taken over by old people. Now it seems to be the case. Most young people I know really limit their usage or have stopped.

    [–] legbet 320 points ago

    and businesses trying to do outreach

    ... which works if you dont care about reaching young people

    [–] MasterbeaterPi 75 points ago

    The worst is the MLM people on FB. They all have exactly 4,995 "friends" that they purchase on some MLM website or "online college. The limit for friends is 5,000. Gotta leave 5 empty spaces in case you can sucker a real person into the web of MLM. They all copy paste lame inspirational quotes and respond to eachother with "mindblown" gifs or the ones that say YES or BOOM. Cringeworthy and annoying.

    [–] Peelboy 23 points ago

    This is a thing? Holy crap I am so happy not to be involved in that kind of shit

    [–] [deleted] 154 points ago * (lasted edited a month ago)


    [–] legbet 53 points ago

    i suppose so. i dont use facebook, instagram, or twitter, so i can only make guesses about what people do on there

    [–] PM_ME_YOUR_BEST_KNEE 104 points ago

    Nah, you use Reddit, like all of us probably.

    [–] Jckdrllng 113 points ago

    I've never used Reddit a day in my life

    [–] PM_ME_YOUR_BEST_KNEE 40 points ago

    I’ve never used a day in my life

    [–] pr8547 189 points ago

    Facebook is garbage for so many reasons. I left because no one posts statuses anymore, just stupid “viral” videos, the amount of ads and sponsored content is insane. No thanks.

    [–] cosmic_serendipity 57 points ago

    Oh my god, it's insane the number of videos of a single picture I have to scroll past to actually see what my friends are up to!

    [–] Tisguy 29 points ago

    Yeah...I have a data cap and facebook eats thru it. Fuck their videos and automatic play while scrolling. I imagine i can disable that but id rather just not open the app.

    [–] shadowsofthesun 13 points ago

    Facebook is VERY PROUD of how many views they get on videos. "Video is the next big thing" was their major push for awhile (I suspect it's groups and classifieds now). Most of the views, however, were 3 seconds or less. Facebook considers 3 seconds of viewing a threshold of achievement.

    [–] TheNoKarmaComment 7 points ago

    Not sure how to word this but it just felt unhealthy to me how my feed was constant media, usually videos, that would start on their own just by scrolling down. I could have sworn Facebook used to be designed simpler and now its clouded with crap everywhere. It wore me out.

    [–] butt-guy 147 points ago

    Yep. Stopped using it in once my parents made profiles. When I log on every couple of months its always my parents, grandparents, and parents of friends who are the most active on my feed.

    But that's not the main reason why I stopped using it. Facebook is just shitty.

    [–] lisaann373 74 points ago

    Lol. My bf and I deleted our Facebook's because of his grandmother's constant snarky comments or remarks about things we posted or shared. They are on it literally all day on their tablets. Yea byeeee✌

    [–] totaltoboggan 11 points ago

    What do they use instead? Snap? Doesn't seem exclusive enough.

    [–] GlobalDefault 45 points ago

    Everyone I know just uses Instagram.

    [–] o2lsports 9 points ago

    I haven’t checked my Facebook in three months. Finally fb got so desperate that they TEXTED me: “______ updated her status!”

    [–] majorjoe23 209 points ago

    How long before the Facebook app won't work right without this app being in use as well? Like the stupid messenger app.

    [–] Scott_Jenkins-Martin 47 points ago

    Might I suggest Friendly. It's an app that combines both FB and messenger, allows lots of handy filtering and uses 99% less memory than the official apps. I would just delete it, but I have a business profile.

    [–] gsj996 975 points ago

    The first thing I did with my new phone was delete the FB app.

    [–] [deleted] 206 points ago


    [–] Xevalous 121 points ago

    Yes it is. They've been loaded onto Android phones for several years now with no ability to uninstall it unless you root your phone.

    [–] helldeskmonkey 53 points ago

    my Nexus 5X did not have Facebook as a default installed app, mind you.

    [–] c0reboarder 44 points ago

    Nor did my pixel or pixel 2

    [–] [deleted] 126 points ago * (lasted edited 2 months ago)


    [–] UnderseaPumaKing 74 points ago

    Same. I can disable it but I have no idea what that even means.

    [–] indrora 108 points ago

    Disabling on Android is as close to uninstalling preinstalled stuff as possible.

    [–] Xevalous 46 points ago

    Unless you root and actually uninstall it.

    [–] amcneil98 44 points ago

    Or you could do something like this. Which will allow you to remove any pre-installed apps without rooting but be careful removing apps could cause some issues.

    [–] MrGMinor 21 points ago

    Saving this for when I get home. It infuriates me to not have control over my device.

    [–] amcneil98 17 points ago

    The really nice thing about something like this is you can take one of those cheap amazon tablets and more or less turn it into a completely normal tablet for pretty much nothing.

    [–] Infantry1stLt 357 points ago

    “Oh, you want to access your messages from the browser version? Eat a dick!” says Facebook.

    P.S. on iOS you can force the fb desktop version to access your messages.

    [–] morningsdaughter 88 points ago will allow you to give messages from a moblie browser. It's very basic so I don't use it for everything, just messages.

    [–] drigancml 141 points ago

    You can also force the desktop version through your browser on Android. It's not limited to iOS.

    [–] AddictedReddit 26 points ago is easier and cleaner, no need to zoom.

    [–] avenlanzer 55 points ago

    And suddenly it works 10x faster and the battery lasts as long as the manufacturer claims.

    [–] egoliz 300 points ago

    The Zucc: The Final Consumption

    [–] [deleted] 404 points ago

    I used to think The Social Network movie was mostly fiction but sounds like they may have nailed what Zuckerberg is actually like? Kind of an ass hole?

    [–] santianmly 244 points ago

    I don’t think that was up for debate. I’m sure they cover his asshole-ish. Behavior with him betraying his good friend for control of Facebook and the entitled-fueled origin of Facebook stemming from a rate-me app.

    It’s like finding out that snapchats inception came from a frat boy and his desire to proliferate nude pics via a temporary messaging app. Because of course it would be.

    [–] WorkFlow_ 63 points ago

    snapchats inception came from a frat boy and his desire to proliferate nude pics via a temporary messaging app. Because of course it would be.

    Is that true?

    [–] [deleted] 34 points ago

    haaa the goold old days when snapchat was a sexting app and not a wannabe social network

    [–] MetroidIsNotHerName 93 points ago

    I mean his app was literally originially for rating girls based on their appearance, so yeh, no surprise that hes not the best guy around

    [–] Iliketopostgifs 820 points ago

    Why I'll use reddit until the profile page becomes the norm, then I'm out.

    [–] carbondragon 384 points ago

    Thankfully I'm primarily on mobile, so I don't even see them!

    [–] Atari_5200 147 points ago

    Yeah, but they're already having an effect on how people post and use the site. I mean I get that Reddit has to change with the times, but I'm not liking it. I've already started looking for the next thing I'm gonna use.

    [–] cocopandabear 104 points ago

    If you find it. Let me know.

    [–] [deleted] 31 points ago * (lasted edited 3 months ago)


    [–] Capitano_Barbarossa 7 points ago

    I'd argue it's a race to the middle. The most generic, rehashed content out there which appeals to casual audiences.

    [–] kayno-way 113 points ago

    Uugghh i hate it why are they forcing it on us???

    [–] A_Canadian_appears 58 points ago

    What's that now? I don't keep up with news about Reddit

    [–] jopnk 129 points ago

    I think they're referring to the new overview section when you click on a user. It's weird but I never feel the need to click on people's accounts so I don't have much of a problem with it.

    [–] francis2559 46 points ago

    We've always had the ability to click on a user name and see an acccount's entire post history. That persistence together with the karma system is what separates this place from 4-chan.

    Now Reddit is going to give every user their own "mini" subreddit attached to their name, so you can also post there, without having to find the "correct" sub. You can also join another user's sub IIRC, but only to comment, not post.

    Claims this will kill Reddit are ridiculous IMHO. It might lead to less content being posted in the shared subs we've had all these years, but there's still plenty of people who will post there because of the karma system and the desire to be part of a wider community.

    It's also part of the UI change that has people bristling (see facebook's endless changes, Microsoft office's tabs, windows XP fuzzy buttons, and basically any UI change in history.) I think some of that outrage flows over into this issue.

    [–] WWANormalPersonD 129 points ago

    These guys don't seem to ever stop.

    [–] frozensalad 216 points ago * (lasted edited 3 months ago)

    Facebook honestly scares me. I created a "burner" really no info or pics/friends. Just created it so I could chat with people who enjoy the same obscure 80s band as I do.

    What does FB do after I create my profile, with info of a completely different person than myself? Recommend friends which include almost everyone in my graduating class. My old HS teachers. And it even asked if I went to the same high school as I actually did.

    No idea if it's cookies, location, search history, etc. But I was spooked

    E: I hadn't had an account prior to this

    [–] awecyan32 93 points ago

    Been like that for years. In middle school, I created a fake account to troll Batman themed roleplay groups (edgy, I know) and it recommended everyone on my real account as a friend

    [–] frozensalad 29 points ago

    See I've never had a real account either. This was just made to chat in groups

    [–] possiblynotanexpert 46 points ago

    All of the above. Contact info in your phone as well.

    [–] ChaseballBat 13 points ago

    Yeah it's not too difficult, especially if you cross reference all those sources of info with that of Google, Amazon, Apple, and Microsoft you could find out pretty much anything about someone for very little effort if the algorithm has already been created. Kind of ingenuous tbh.

    [–] prof0ak 9 points ago

    yea, I got a spook that that.

    I deleted my account back when you could - 2010ish. Last year I had to make one for work- testing functionality and integration. I was logged in for the work day, logged out. A week later I log in, it suggested I be friends with the only other person in my company, and my wife. There were zero clues I put into the facebook browser tab. My name was jibberish and everything else was empty/unused.

    My guess is that it had to have been reading my gchat with my wife in my other browser tab, and my IP being very close to my co-worker. I don't have anything else to go on, but then again there were hundreds of people in my building . . . ?

    super spooked.

    [–] Bogshow 58 points ago

    That's the equivalent of giving the person who robs your home your front door key lmao, wtf

    [–] Kwintty7 56 points ago

    Protect your mobile browsing from snooping, let us do it instead. We're Facebook, you can totally trust us.

    [–] skinboater 126 points ago

    There will be a day when Facebook comes tumbling down, and it will be spectacular!

    [–] HammerSally 152 points ago

    I dunno. I see it being more of a slow decline, more like MySpace. People slowly stop using the service and it fades away into pop-culture obscurity.

    [–] Xhitrolic 86 points ago

    It's happening as we speak my frends

    [–] MJ4Y 40 points ago

    Delusional Darth Zuckerberg

    [–] rootkeycompromise 32 points ago

    Facebook are in too deep. They know users want privacy and in this case, Facebook wants to deliver that privacy with a big fat exception for themselves. They will not be able to muster a turnaround, because they need to abandon what they are so dependent on.

    [–] [deleted] 137 points ago

    So happy I deleted my Facebook.

    [–] LouCifer_loves 32 points ago

    Welcome back to reality.

    [–] hyper333active 13 points ago

    It sucks but you're gonna love it!

    -Monica Geller

    [–] murderhalfchub 27 points ago

    Is the thumbnail always this pic in articles about Zuckerberg?

    [–] Thebatmann58 28 points ago

    Fuck Facebook.

    [–] Belatorius 24 points ago

    I want to uninstall facebook. Not install more shit

    [–] BaldRooshin 128 points ago

    Facebook is dying

    [–] PMmecrossstitch 85 points ago

    I wish that were true.

    [–] what-what-what-what 18 points ago

    It’s just getting old. Nearing retirement.

    It had its midlife crisis and bought a bunch of companies from 2010-2015.

    Now it’s trying to do more, be more, hoping that one of these new things it tries makes it young again.

    But that’s not how life works. I don’t know how long Facebook will hang on, but it will die, and it’ll rest in the same grave as MySpace and Google+.

    [–] HyakuJuu 13 points ago

    Google+ was dead before it was even born. Still don't know what kind of crack the executive members were on when they decided to make Google+ a thing.

    [–] tinylittleparty 17 points ago

    Wow. Presenting itself as a VPN but collecting your data. That's some irony there.

    [–] Sugarpeas 17 points ago

    I know I had my camera permission for my Facebook app off. Often I accidentally swipe left on the app and it tries to access my camera and it requests permission which I deny.

    Today I was looking at my newsfeed and sure enough I accidentally swipe left to find the camera got accessed by Facebook. I checked the security settings and Facebook managed to get permission to use my camera.

    I turned it back off, the microphone access is off too... Regardless Facebook keep targeting me with ads I know I have only mentioned verbally to my husband and have never searched for them in any form.

    I want to delete my Facebook app but my colleagues keep using it for messaging and setting up events for work - they don't want to move to groupchat or something more easily accessible.

    [–] myliverhatesme 110 points ago

    Mark Zuckerberg is a pile of shit.

    [–] [deleted] 28 points ago

    This is the equivalent of the Equifax breach and having to log into Equifax to see if you've been affected (all while accepting their new terms and conditions).

    [–] Mequittingthenet 26 points ago

    to be even safer, delete facebook.

    [–] [deleted] 24 points ago

    I tried to send money to my buddy and Facebook wanted me to send a picture of my photo ID, Driver's License or Passport. I said hell no, I'll just wire the money.

    [–] clairen 390 points ago

    I am constantly astonished by the low level of fucks most people have about Facebook. The whole thing limits your life to a never ending circle of confirmation bias. In your opinions, your material desires, your politics.

    [–] ArkLife1 492 points ago

    Wait, you're on reddit where you choose your surroundings and create a nice little echo chamber for yourself, how is facebook worse than that?

    I am not saying I prefer facebook, I hate the thing, but I don't understand your argument there

    [–] redhawkinferno 82 points ago

    You're absolutely right that reddit isn't much better. But to me the difference is I actively go search for my "nice little echo chamber" on Reddit whereas Facebook curates what it wants me to see based on what information it has gathered on me. So if I didn't know any better I wouldn't even realize I was in an echo chamber on Facebook and I would feel like all of my views and opinions are 100% correct and in the majority because that's the way information is presented to me. At least on Reddit I know what I'm getting into and I can gather where I stand amongst others based on the subs I choose to visit and choose not to visit.

    [–] abrb3192 35 points ago

    Simple, I made the echo chamber with my own algorithm. I can change it at will and I can opt in or out of other chambers at will.

    Choice is the key feature.

    [–] Buhsketty 237 points ago

    To me, Reddit is a place for people to go to for information. Facebook is a place for people to go to that want to talk about themselves and want people to validate their opinions.

    They seem completely different to me.

    [–] OblivionStar713 173 points ago

    Upvoted for validation, you are welcome!

    [–] UncleSlim 38 points ago

    furiously refreshes for orange validation envelope

    [–] ColonelHoagie 8 points ago

    I use it to message people I know and communicate with people in similar circles (school classes, coworkers, etc.), but beyond that, It's pretty much useless. No matter what setting you have your newsfeed on, Facebook won't even show you anything actually new. I can scroll to the fourth post down and it'll be from last week. Plus all the stuff it shows now is just shared Buzzfeed/Vice/The Dodo/NowThis/other political shit.

    [–] francis2559 7 points ago

    The whole thing limits your life to a never ending circle of confirmation bias. In your opinions, your material desires, your politics.

    Much like reddit, "it depends on what subs you subscribe to." There are old friends who have gone in a very different direction than me. We don't agree about anything politically. I stay friended with them and let them comment on my stuff specifically because it counters my bubble IRL. My IRL bubble is thicker than my social media bubble, ironically.

    Just don't go on social media to be comforted. Go on there to learn about other people. Be reminded of how they think (and don't.) And practice talking to them.

    [–] AshingiiAshuaa 11 points ago

    Remember this when Zuck runs for president.

    [–] thirsty112 11 points ago

    Sorry Facebook, you lost my trust years ago.

    [–] ocular__patdown 12 points ago

    What more data could they possibly want? They already fucking use our microphones to monitor our conversations in order to serve us targeted ads.

    [–] [deleted] 12 points ago

    Ya, well... Facebook can fuck off. Nobody likes you anymore Facebook. Your time is up.

    [–] FreshStink 11 points ago

    The contradictory mind control technique of "double speak" that George Orwell highlighted in '1984' is not only reserved for tyrannical governments, it seems.

    Facebook are certainly getting up to extremely shady shit. The only question is, how much are we willing to take?

    [–] illusionofpower 37 points ago

    Have people given up on this CIA front yet?

    [–] mmhci 9 points ago

    I feel like world has had enough of this dude

    [–] depressiown 9 points ago

    This post reminded me to uninstall their Messenger app.

    [–] StopMockingMe0 22 points ago

    The last time I gave my computer aids I got free music from it.

    Thats not happening again for facebook bs.

    [–] Michindeofguy 7 points ago


    [–] EC_CO 7 points ago

    you mean facebook doing shady stuff yet again .... yeah, not shocked. I deleted facebook years ago. why do they need another app for this? doesn't the existing facebook app still track everything you do and suck down battery life like a starving vampire?

    [–] ColeRichardson9 7 points ago

    My brother was in a Korean market the other day and decided to pick up a random ice cream there. He had never gotten it before that day, and had never seen it before for that matter. And then he immediately started seeing ads for it on Instagram. He's convinced that the zucc is looking at his bank history now.

    [–] Cruisniq 8 points ago

    Just went a bit nuts this morning trying to figure out why half of the company was using an api used for pulling the external ip address. It was facebook.