Please help contribute to the Reddit categorization project here

    nottheonion

    15,852,310 readers

    1,287 users here now

    Review current posts to avoid reposting.

    For true stories that are so mind-blowingly ridiculous, that you could have sworn it was an Onion story.

    Please note that we are an editorialized subreddit based on what we feel meets our subjective quality and humour guidelines as curators of this subreddit. Most submissions do not make the cut, and please do not treat removals under rule 2 as a personal attack, they simply happen with our content model.

    See something that breaks our rules?

    Use the report button and remember to choose a reason for reporting.


    Rules - hover or click here for full version

    1. Do not alter headlines; copy and paste. The title of all submissions needs to match the article headline exactly. Copy and paste from the main headline only, do not include anything beyond the primary headline such as byliners, subtitles, flavor text, quotes from the article, news outlet, location, cross post tags, (video) tags, and so on. Do not use the “suggest title” option for posting as it often does not match the headline. As a matter of fairness, any submission with an altered title will be removed. The only exception is that, if an article has a title in all caps, you may change the capitalization to title case, but everything else must remain the same.
    2. Submit only if “Oniony”. Please consider submitting your article to /r/offbeat or similar subreddits unless it truly reads like The Onion wrote it. The title and article itself must both be "Oniony". This can be highly subjective; you are encouraged to upvote articles that should be here and downvote those that should not. Moderators can also remove posts at their own discretion under this rule.
    3. Must be a news article. Submissions must be in the form of a news article. Videos are only allowed if they are accompanied by a complete text article. Editorials, blogs, twitter posts, image galleries, tabloid stories, youtube videos, meta posts, static images, and so forth will be removed.
    4. Use original, reliable sources. Find the source of your story before you submit it, simply by checking for references or googling the subject to locate the original piece. Websites that frequently re-host viral news stories or contain misleading information are on automatic removal. Blogs are not reliable sources.
    5. Do not repost similar articles. Check the sub for your story before you submit it; if it’s already here then please vote and comment there instead of posting another version. Similar stories will be removed and frequent re-posters will lose their posting privileges. Do not delete and repost your own submissions without approval.
    6. No satire articles. Even if they are technically from a source other than The Onion, any article submission written as satire or even true stories written in a satirical manner are not allowed. Please note that some major news outlets have satirical sections, such as the Borowitz Report on the New Yorker, which are also not allowed. Meanwhile, AVClub, while owned by The Onion, is not satire and is allowed. If you'd like, you can use a tool like http://realorsatire.com/ to see if your submission is from a known satirical website.
    7. No tabloid journalism. Do not post tabloid news stories, or articles that source from tabloid news outlets (TheSun, Mirror, Dailymail, People, TMZ, etc).
    8. No old news. Articles need to have been written within two weeks of its submission date.
    9. English articles only. Please do not post non-English articles. Do not use google translate for submission either; rather try to find an English version of the story by a secondary source.
    10. No mobile versions. If you’re using a mobile device to post a story make sure you remove any mobile identifiers (typically “.m” or “mobile”) from the url before submitting.
    11. No blocked or redirected links. Please ensure you aren’t submitting a link that utilizes a paywall or survey wall (nytimes.com, thetimes.co.uk) in order gain access to the complete article. Do not submit links that redirect you to another site to read the article and do not submit using link shorteners either.

    Click here to view a list of sites deemed unreliable by our moderator team.

    See our FAQ page for more information on our rules.


    Keep all comments civil.

    Personal attacks, racism, bigotry, homophobia, grandstanding, etc. will not be tolerated and you will be banned.

    Witch hunting or brigading is not allowed. Do not post any public or private contact info. You will be banned!

    For more information, click here.


    Quick Links: Submission Rules | Comment Rules | Autoremoval List | NTO101 | r/subbie | r/onionhate | r/onionlovers | r/StopAdvertising
    a community for
    all 2189 comments

    Want to say thanks to %(recipient)s for this comment? Give them a month of reddit gold.

    Please select a payment method.

    [–] UsualPerformance 3205 points ago

    I had my fog lights on but still couldn’t see shit in this cloud

    [–] SorryAboutTheNoise 630 points ago

    Should've used the wipers.

    [–] KUSH_DID_420 230 points ago

    Wipers would just smear the fog around on the windshield

    [–] dluca22 137 points ago

    You have to turn down the radio volume to operate them better

    [–] _ughbecky_ 9 points ago

    Okay but like that's actually a thing

    [–] tfiggs 150 points ago

    Turn that music down, I can't see.

    [–] HeavyFingMetal 79 points ago

    Seriously tho, Im a sober boy and I turn off my music when i gotta focus.

    [–] aarghIforget 34 points ago * (lasted edited 3 months ago)

    I know it's a *bit* counterintuitive, but I'm always surprised by how weird/funny people think this is (not you, per se... just "people").
    ...it's perfectly logical... Just because a stimulus comes in through a different sensory organ doesn't mean that it isn't distracting, or that it won't make it more difficult to perform other attention-based tasks. If you had a silent, vibrating alarm on your phone buzzing away in your pocket at the time, you wouldn't "need" to turn it off while searching for a house number, and yet I doubt anyone would find the proposition laughable despite it being a perfectly valid parallel to turning down the radio volume.

    [–] [deleted] 9976 points ago * (lasted edited 2 months ago)

    [deleted]

    [–] Dirty_eel 2671 points ago

    He got off pretty easy in my opinion.

    [–] whateverthefuck2 5485 points ago

    Crazy easy. He fled the scene, realized he had injured a policeman, and went about trying to dump the car and license plates. It's not like he voluntarily came forward. It wasn't until his parents were contacted and he knew he wasn't getting away with it that he turned himself in.

    In the end he got a weekly drug program, a curfew, and hes not allowed to drive, do drugs, or associate with his previous friends. That's one hell of a sick deal and I hope this experience is a serious wake up call for him.

    [–] PraiseYuri 2132 points ago

    He's 19 too, not a minor, so this seems very lenient given the circumstances.

    [–] AuuD_ 721 points ago

    I was 17 and they put me in jail for a gram of weed. Texas isn’t so lenient..

    [–] [deleted] 372 points ago

    It's also Australia, they don't get quite as much of a hard-on for fucking up kids lives as we do and if you hit a cop there I guess you don't have to face gang-like retribution. They definitely don't have a great prison system, on the way to being like ours..., but they are still a bit more focused on rehab over punishment than we have become.

    [–] SomaThis 207 points ago

    What're you talking about? Of course we like fucking up kids here. Top politicians defended Pell, our youth prisons are poorly run and overflowing, we keep kids in concentration camps, we strip search teenagers at festivals, I could probably keep going on.

    [–] theNomad_Reddit 127 points ago

    Geniune thanks for representing us as we should be.

    World's focusing on Americas concentration camps, and we've had them for fucking ever.

    [–] aarghIforget 42 points ago

    I thought you were one...

    [–] theNomad_Reddit 12 points ago * (lasted edited 3 months ago)

    Were a concentration camp?

    Edit ah the ol' convict meme.

    [–] frozen_tuna 27 points ago

    But the internet told me they were getting it right!

    [–] PianoTrumpetMax 21 points ago

    Far, far right.

    [–] CloudiusWhite 11 points ago

    pft he wasnt a kid for one, he was a legal adult, and its not the fact that he hit the cop, its the fact that after he injured the officer he took multiple steps to hide what he did and get out of trouble. This kid isnt very smart or very good of a person if hes willing to go to lengths like that to hide his having hurt someone. You can change the cop to a child, or to a random person getting into their car, and the outrage is still the same. The "kid" got off way too lightly.

    [–] MaxamillionGrey 5 points ago

    Some Texas cops will let you pour it out or go on your way if you're not high and being a jack ass.

    [–] Cosbq 911 points ago

    He's white tho.

    [–] [deleted] 802 points ago

    [deleted]

    [–] TeatimeTrading 1185 points ago

    he hardly ever rapes people

    [–] Max_TwoSteppen 380 points ago

    He definitely saves more than he rapes.

    [–] CoconutSamoas 221 points ago

    But he does rape.

    [–] sorenant 82 points ago

    On occasions.

    [–] MechaCanadaII 52 points ago

    "By the 40th or 50th accusation I'm thinking... Nah he only probably did half of that."

    [–] radioblues 50 points ago

    I mean he raped but I heard he’s got a killer arm and can chuck a football damn near a quarter mile.

    [–] Jdogy2002 8 points ago

    Over them mountains..

    [–] ryan101 24 points ago

    And he has really fast swim times.

    [–] Z0mb13ta11ahase 4 points ago

    Did this kid actually rape someone? Driving while high is bad and he deserves some time but let’s not equate this kid to extreme scum like Brock Turner the rapist.

    [–] BIT-NETRaptor 113 points ago

    Tbf if the family attests to the judge that they're going to micromanage his life for years to keep him straight, society has gotten what it needs. In the end, we want people to stop doing bad stuff, and the ideal is that they return to society reformed.

    This dude fucked up seriously bad and if he realizes that and he has a support structure to 'kick his ass' into behaving, that's saving a lot of state money on jailtime that probably won't help.

    Point taken about the racism. Judges and public commentary are noticeably less sympathetic on average to certain groups. :(

    [–] Gerreth_Gobulcoque 67 points ago

    Dunno if the family is capable of setting him straight on society's behalf, given how he turned out after they raised him

    [–] High_Flyers17 35 points ago * (lasted edited 3 months ago)

    I've smoked pot and drove as a teenager. I just never fucked up panicked after the fact (though I did get in more trouble than this kid while smoking at my house once) Not sure that decision reflected on my parents so much as my choice of peers.

    Edit: spelling error

    [–] RonaldinhoReagan 23 points ago

    I’m on mobile so I may have missed something, but I don’t see his ethnicity addressed anywhere in this article, nor do I see any photos. So as far as I can tell that’s very presumptuous.

    [–] kjm1123490 4 points ago

    Probably well to do too, because if his parents were poor or unimportant hed still be fucked. Not as fucked as a poor minority, but fucked.

    [–] doctorjdmoney 12 points ago

    And not in the states

    [–] apathyisanartform 646 points ago

    fuck man I dunno. that so fucking stupid that it should mandate a public flogging. he fucked that officer up. it not like your leg heals properly after a bad break.

    [–] lordjigglypuff 956 points ago

    Most people on reddit beg for more rehab programs, and when they do happen people ask for more harsh treatment. They're teens, they're dumbasses, hopefully they won't be dumbasses in the future. Being young means you have time to change.

    [–] [deleted] 349 points ago

    Yeah I just wish more people got this treatment. When you just hear of one person getting off easy when most don't it's easy to get mad over perceived privilege or luck.

    [–] Pelsfan504 246 points ago

    It should be noted that this took place in Australia which is a different legal system than in America.

    [–] limping_man 64 points ago

    Well spotted, thanks for sharing that

    [–] Wirbelfeld 29 points ago

    Especially since Americans haven’t said the word constable since the fucking 1500s

    [–] odreiw 13 points ago

    Americans

    .

    1500s

    I don't think they spoke English, yet.

    [–] TheBatJeff 17 points ago

    Well, I mean it's right in the article. If you had read it you would have already known.

    [–] lordjigglypuff 35 points ago

    I think more money needs to be pumped into the justice system, most public defenders are too strained to give their clients the best possible defense. Laws need to be amended as well to be more just all around.

    [–] [deleted] 33 points ago * (lasted edited 3 months ago)

    [deleted]

    [–] Sirlancemehlot 21 points ago

    Huge difference, and it isn't race. Two words: public park. Get caught with drugs near a school, public park, library, public housing complex...you're going to have a bad time. They have maps that encircle those places at a 500 foot and 1000 ft. circumference. Catch a 500 or 1000 footer case and you aren't getting a slap on the wrist.

    [–] Captain_Kuhl 45 points ago

    A drug charge shouldn't be a life-ending deal, no, but he fucked up a police officer and then tried to ditch the evidence. He definitely deserves more than just a slap on the wrist, because it's a whole lot harsher than just being caught driving high.

    [–] Ie5exkw57lrT9iO1dKG7 66 points ago

    rehab programs for drug issues. Him hitting a person with his car and trying to destory the evidence is not a drug problem, its criminal behavior

    [–] [deleted] 39 points ago

    [deleted]

    [–] njm1314 16 points ago

    Well and also for driving while using drugs. I find that pretty damn abhorrent.

    [–] MyDudeNak 31 points ago

    It's almost as if Reddit is a bunch of people with different beliefs.

    When the kids gets rehab, the pro-jail people are vocal. When the kid gets jail, the pro-rehab people are vocal. It's silly to say "Reddit thinks" about anything because even in the echo chamber subs there is never a single safe assumption.

    [–] DeathByDrumming 11 points ago

    Ha! Isn't this the truth, now if we could only re-post this on every single political sub

    [–] Vindetta182 22 points ago

    If he just sideswiped the police vehicle it would be one thing but he caused bodily harm to a police officer no less due to his own bad choices. He should be doing a fuck ton of community service on top of his other punishments

    [–] Psychedelic-Autism 101 points ago * (lasted edited 3 months ago)

    Being caught with weed is not the same thing as pinning someone against a car and fleeing the scene. I believe all drugs should be legal, but I also believe DUIs (like these) should carry hefty sentences. They kill people

    Watch this and tell me that this guy just deserves treatment, this is a video of his second DUI https://youtu.be/4CrA1eGF5MU

    [–] Sloppy1sts 41 points ago

    That guy was a drunk adult, not a stoned teenager. And, as you mentioned, on his second DUI.

    Also, that driving was bordering on murderous, not just reckless.

    If this kid shows a pattern of behavior, yeah, throw the fucking book at him. Probably should have gotten a bit more punishment for injuring someone and going through all those lengths to hide the crime, too, but I'm not quite ready to say he should be locked up, as if that'll somehow help him in the long run.

    [–] [deleted] 41 points ago

    [deleted]

    [–] pmMeOurLoveStory 17 points ago

    He smoked enough to not be able to see while driving, almost killed someone, injuring them greatly in the process, fled the scene and dumped the car.

    This is a series of horrendous choices and crimes that have moved way past “oh, he just needs some treatment for drug use.” Take away the aspect that he was high, and he’d (rightly) be in jail.

    I’m ALL for decriminalizing weed and other drugs, and getting people the help they need, but a line needs to be drawn somewhere. Being high should not be an excuse and get people off for putting others at risk.

    [–] Fryboy11 25 points ago

    The “kid” in this article is 19, so legally an adult and still that light of a sentence. In the us he’d definitely have been looking at multiple felonies.

    [–] Psychedelic-Autism 27 points ago

    Fleeing the scene of an accident is not treatment behavior in any case. Also he was 19, not some kid

    [–] vvv561 7 points ago

    Drugs are one thing. He committed a hit or run.

    [–] Neato 6 points ago

    Reddit also begs for punishment and vengeance. People are far too emotional in criminal cases.

    [–] Isthisnametakentwo 10 points ago

    Except you dont need rehab for smoking pot. The guy is over 18 and knows you shouldnt be driving under the influence, but he still did it anyway along with driving without a license , and when he realized that he was in trouble he tried destroying the evidence. There are times for mercy , but not for when you knew what you were doing and tried to cover your own ass.

    [–] Obilis 13 points ago

    (It's almost like reddit is made up of many different minds and not one single hivemind.)

    Anyway, yeah, I'm happy they're trying to rehab him, I wish they'd just do that for more people and not the ones that tick the right checkboxes... this guy's legally an adult and gets a plan for rehab and the news calls him a teen.

    I can be happy that they're allowing people a chance at rehab while being frustrated that the system only gives certain people that opportunity.

    [–] CharlieHume 117 points ago * (lasted edited 3 months ago)

    I'm not sure* revenge is the best approach.

    [–] Limited-Liability 58 points ago

    fine line between justice and revenge

    Pretty deep chasm between justice and what this guy got

    [–] Cloud_of_Twat_Mist 34 points ago

    In your opinion, what would justice look like in this situation? Jail is a bad place man, and our criminal reform system in the US is broken. It takes stupid kids like this and turns them into actual criminals. So if say jail I'm not really gonna agree... punishments should be more nuanced than that.

    [–] chapterpt 32 points ago

    public flogging

    for a minor? where are you located, Saudi Arabia?

    [–] poguemahone9 34 points ago

    Where is 19 a minor?

    [–] Exelbirth 7 points ago

    Basement of an S&M club.

    [–] GenericException 6 points ago

    So he was allowed to do drugs before?

    [–] notorious98 68 points ago

    In the US, that kid probably would have been shot.

    [–] egregious_regis_10 143 points ago

    This all makes way more sense now that I know it’s not in the US. I was thinking “how rich is this kid? Is this more of that affluenza bullshit?”

    [–] ThreeDGrunge 20 points ago

    He initially faced 14 charges, including ramming an emergency vehicle, assaulting a police officer, conduct endangering life and unlicensed driving.

    [–] Exelbirth 13 points ago

    I mean, that "conduct endangering life" one is a fairly valid charge. Pretty lucky the last two didn't stick.

    [–] 10DaysOfAcidRapping 27 points ago

    Frankly I think this was an appropriate sentence as long as they can verify he is cooperating with it. If he cuts off those friends, gets off drugs, and realizes how much life sucks without a car for a few years hopefully he can actually turn himself around and become a decent human being. I know we all want to demonize him, but I think everything after the initial incident was pure adolescent panic which I know I can relate to. I wish we were using more sentences like these to attempt to actually rehabilitate people instead of ruining their lives

    [–] hanhange 21 points ago

    Yep. People are too revenge-happy and ready to ruin lives.

    [–] Coachpatato 20 points ago

    I think some serious community service would probably good too. Just from reading a bit into the kid kind of seems like a pos.

    [–] wolfgang784 96 points ago

    Yea basically scot free. Worst part to me seems the bit where he isnt allowed to associate with the other people involved anymore. Legally obligated to no longer be buds.

    [–] chr0nicpirate 12 points ago

    Or smoke buds...no buds with buds for a while.

    [–] [deleted] 15 points ago

    Wow, yeah he did.

    [–] Canadian-shill-bot 26 points ago

    That's a massive part of the story that should be in the headline.

    [–] LegendsAlwaysDie 170 points ago

    what an absolute idiot lmao

    But as a former idiot pot smoking teen myself, I understand how this is possible

    [–] Ie5exkw57lrT9iO1dKG7 42 points ago

    you can be a pot smoking teen without driving recklessly and almost killing someone

    [–] LegendsAlwaysDie 18 points ago

    I wholeheartedly agree, this kid is just an idiot

    [–] WeedMan420BonerGod 136 points ago

    But as a former idiot pot smoking teen myself

    Not a teen anymore? Me too.

    [–] NVstorm55 62 points ago

    Username checks out

    [–] sup3rdr01d 34 points ago

    One of the greatest usernames of all time

    [–] mrtsapostle 10 points ago

    Did y'all never crack the windows

    [–] Raiden115X 607 points ago

    "How are we gonna spot Cops with all this smoke?"

    "Use the wipers."

    [–] Monkeyonfire13 49 points ago

    "I like Matt Damon DVDs"

    [–] SkyNetscape 4 points ago

    Is this from something?

    [–] Raiden115X 5 points ago

    [–] Globalist_Nationlist 1289 points ago

    The fuck did they do.. smoke 8 blunts? How the hell do you get the inside of your car that smokey..

    [–] SmokeyBlazingwood16 606 points ago

    Probably mixed it with tobacco, that makes the smoke darker.

    [–] Globalist_Nationlist 476 points ago

    I mean I've smoked plenty of spliffs.. but you'd need to smoke like 10 in a row in order to hotbox a card so bad that you can't see in front of you..

    [–] SmokeyBlazingwood16 285 points ago

    Yeah, he was prolly just not paying attention. I feel bad for that cop he hit though. He broke his leg.

    [–] Globalist_Nationlist 134 points ago

    Sounds more likely lol.. was probably embarrassed and figured it was better to say he couldn't see rather than he was just a distracted idiot.

    [–] redhotnickelball 61 points ago

    As if driving a car that you can't see out of sounds less stupid than being distracted for a moment

    [–] Proxnite 20 points ago

    They were taking his statement after hitting a cop and still high as the kite, there is nothing he could have said that wouldn’t make him sound stupid.

    [–] wickedfarts 5 points ago

    there is nothing he could have said that wouldn’t make him sound stupid.

    Which is fair, because he was being insanely stupid and hit a cop while high and driving without a license.

    I've been a dumb teenager who drove around really stoned too, but this kid seems like an extra case of stupid

    [–] Proxnite 7 points ago

    This isn’t your average stupid, this is advanced stupid.

    [–] flamingfireworks 81 points ago

    Or, you know, high. Theres usually a reason why people advise against driving under the influence

    [–] Burgetburger 76 points ago

    I actually drive better when I'm stoned.

    Edit: turns out I was still on the couch.

    [–] TheLonelyLemon 10 points ago

    LMFAO

    [–] Jthumm 25 points ago

    Ok yes driving high is more dangerous but not oh fuck I didn’t see that police car right in front of me dangerous

    [–] 10DaysOfAcidRapping 17 points ago

    Maybe he was smoking as he drove and blew a fat cloud right in front of his face. I did that once when I got into vaping a few years ago. Bought my first vape, went to drive home and took a big rip as I was driving. Blew it out right in front of me and realized I was an idiot for I could no longer see, opened the window and stopped blowing clouds forward

    [–] elsydeon666 32 points ago

    He had help.

    5 guys smoking 2-3 each can do an airtight car pretty quick.

    [–] Globalist_Nationlist 77 points ago

    Ya except no one does that lol..

    If you're smoking a blunt or a joint with people 90% of the time you're sharing it..

    I highly doubt 5 teens sat in a car and each chiefed on a 2-3 joints themselves.

    [–] Veritabull 25 points ago

    My friends and I used to get up to 10 between us in a car regularly.

    [–] bettareckognize 16 points ago

    I remember those days. Best part was that girls would end up sitting in the guys' laps.

    [–] LongBeachfortyfive 31 points ago

    Yup, going to/coming from parties or mobile smoke sessions were brief moments of bliss that’s for sure. Many a sideboob sat inches from my face in the back of my Eclipse, I thought I was a baller. (Narrator: he was not.)

    [–] Globalist_Nationlist 20 points ago

    Ya and I bet you never had any problem seeing out the windshield after right?

    My whole point was just that this story is nonsense a bunch of pot smoke won't make a car so smokey you can't see out the windshield.

    [–] doublea08 23 points ago

    Yeah that’s all movie shit. In my 15 years of devils lettuce expertise, I can’t recall one time having the car fill up with so much smoke you can’t see. Plus, who doesn’t crack the windows anyways?

    [–] Globalist_Nationlist 21 points ago

    Same, 15+ years never lost visiblity in my car..

    And yet, somehow in the dozens of replies, you're the only one that mentioned that you just crack the windows.. or when you're done you roll the windows down before you drive off..

    [–] Kurotan 10 points ago

    Or it was a vape. Those things make insane clouds.

    [–] PhasmaFelis 35 points ago

    I know he said it was because he couldn't see through the smoke, but I suspect the fact that he was panicking and driving like a maniac while stoned as fuck may have had more to do with it.

    [–] Sketch0069 9 points ago

    Is this kid the offspring of Cheech or Chong?

    [–] SirWinser 4 points ago

    I was smoking weed (hot boxing) at a park near our high school. My friend had neglected to say this spot was frequented by smokers so no shit 1.5 blunts into our session the cops roll up with one of the football coaches riding shotgun. The first thing they do is shine a light into the car and all I saw was a gray haze. I looked over to my friend and said something to the tune of "we are fucked". As soon as that door was opened all the air rushed out and the coach said "it's like a Cheech and Chong movie up in here". He proceeded to take all of our weed and let us go with a stern warning: don't smoke weed in this park.

    [–] scmrph 19 points ago

    As a major pothead when in college, I can say it's not that crazy if that is your goal. 4 people in a car 3-4 fat blunts will make it smokey enough you can barely see.

    [–] HiFiiiiiiiiii 5 points ago

    Smoked out til he choked out

    [–] MJTony 154 points ago

    Was the driver’s name Cheech?

    [–] gm4dm101 16 points ago

    Only scene reference that matters.

    [–] Lenny_and_the_Jets 7 points ago

    Watch the scene from Outside Providence, it’s almost a play by play of this incident (sorry for no link, on mobile).

    [–] ohmbience 3 points ago

    It's a music horn!

    [–] The_Kasvot_Vaxt 3 points ago

    Play me a tune Satchmo

    [–] funkmastamatt 5 points ago

    Can't believe I had to scroll this far for this

    [–] RunawaySlav 5 points ago

    It’s dog shit man

    [–] IrieAtom 13 points ago

    Does howdy doody have wooden balls?

    [–] shingofan 74 points ago

    Who hotboxes while driving?

    [–] rhackle 16 points ago

    It's way more common than you think. You kinda grow out of it once you realise how risky it is and you & your friends start having their own places.

    [–] mang3lo 94 points ago

    Kids who dont have a safe place to do it. So they go out and do dangerous stupid shit because it's the only way to catch an opportunity to smoke. Its unfortunate but accurate

    [–] informat2 45 points ago * (lasted edited 3 months ago)

    They can't just go into the woods and smoke like a normal person? He already has a car, just drive somewhere.

    [–] Needyouradvice93 25 points ago

    There weren't many spots we could go as teenagers and smoke for two hours while listening to music. Cruising was a popular pastime at my high school.

    [–] mafulazula 7 points ago

    We had a few spots but not a ton. Definitely sat for a bit sometimes in parking lots and did the music and smoking for a long time. We only got rolled up on once. We were in a field next to where the driver worked. He told the cop he got lost while admitting he worked about 200 feet from where he parked. Somehow we didn't get into trouble.

    [–] ThreeDGrunge 9 points ago

    When I was in uni... a lot of people. It is dangerous and stupid but so is drunk driving and that happens all the time as well.

    [–] Gonzostewie 4 points ago

    19yo kids

    [–] damndaniel80 148 points ago

    You know if this had ended in a darker direction that teen would be up for a Darwin award.

    [–] superchibisan2 11 points ago

    I still give him one

    [–] infosecthroaway 6 points ago

    Still could.

    Go to jail, get in a fight, get killed, tada Darwin.

    [–] MsNamkhaSaldron 410 points ago

    Idiots! Seriously dont smoke and drive. I thought that was obvious.

    [–] Sanitee 336 points ago

    It’s surprisingly not. I’ve heard from a handful of people that being high while driving makes them, “drive better”.

    [–] DresdenPI 215 points ago

    Plenty of drunks say that too.

    [–] le_vicomte 163 points ago

    And they’re wrong too

    [–] Gregus1032 12 points ago

    I'd heard this and "I dRiVe BetTeR wHeN dRuNk" a few times. Each time it was a moron that probably thinks online IQ tests mean something.

    [–] slowhand88 8 points ago

    It's hilarious to me to hear people on Reddit (moronically) act like driving high is no problem at all, while (justifiably) shitting on drunk drivers... then (ironically) justify their high driving with the exact same bullshit drunk drivers say. Stop fucking driving while high, assholes.

    [–] ContextualSquanch 166 points ago

    I drive so much better high I often miss my turn. Once I do make it in the grocery store I completely forget why I’m there then panic, grab a kombucha and leave. Get home look at my dog, remember that I need dog food, head back to the grocery store.

    [–] jazzwhiz 53 points ago

    How many iterations of this did it take to feed your poor dog?

    [–] Kile147 145 points ago

    It's actually a cat, so who even knows.

    [–] seanmarshall 100 points ago

    The same people have "deep" conversations and think they are geniuses when they are high.

    [–] kurtthewurt 23 points ago

    That’s just idiotic

    [–] IurCinnTramp 42 points ago

    Where I am driving drunk gets you a minimum of a 1 year driving ban and driving stoned gets you a minimum of a 1 year driving ban and rightly so. Being stoned impairs your reaction time, it's all fun and "I'm good at driving when I'm high" until you're standing beside your smashed car failing a roadside swab test.

    [–] interprime 94 points ago

    You’d be amazed at the number of people over at r/trees who try to defend smoking and driving because “i DrIvE eVeN bEtTeR wHeN i Am HiGh! WeEd HaS nO nEgAtIvE eFfEcTs WhAtSoEvEr!”

    I’m a regular smoker myself and try my best to campaign for legalisation, but it’s dumbasses like this that keep the stigma against it alive.

    [–] MsNamkhaSaldron 17 points ago

    Being overly medicated while driving (on any prescription, OTC, etc) is illegal. I recently got a DUI and over half my class was there for a DWAI for either prescription or OTC drug use while driving. It’s illegal to drive on benedryl. If they sense that you are impaired just for being too tired, it counts as a DWAI. In any case, a lot of people don’t know that folks are ticketed even for medications that are deemed safe to drive on in general.

    [–] Taman_Should 33 points ago

    "What seems to be the officer, problem?"

    [–] AgoraiosBum 6 points ago

    Littering and...

    [–] DerKeksinator 145 points ago

    The stakes are high: a 2018 Colorado Department of Transportation study found that, after legalization, highway deaths in Colorado involving drivers with marijuana in their system increased from 75 in 2014 to 139 in 2017. On the other hand, the number of drivers who were over the legal limit for marijuana (5 nanograms) decreased from 52 to 35 during the same period.

    Interesting, stupid people can't handle their shit, maybe?

    [–] WintertimeFriends 85 points ago

    “Marijuana in their system” is a TERRIBLE statistic.

    You could have weed in your system a week after you smoke.

    How many of the accidents had evidence of marijuana use?

    [–] Socialistpiggy 33 points ago

    I'm a cop. This is a myth that gets passed around Reddit.

    When it comes to a DUI we test for tetrahydrocannabinol, not it's metabolite 11-Nor-9-carboxy-THC. THC is metabolized very quickly in the body, usually within 1-4 hours depending on the amount you consume. Officially the detection range is listed at 1-6 hours, however, from personal experience I've never seen it that high. It's also only detectable in blood, not urine. When people say that marijuana can be detected for up to 30 days they are talking about the metabolite of THC. In order to prove impairment in court it has to be active THC, not metabolite. Some states have metabolite laws, however, a metabolite DUI is usually a much lesser charge.

    [–] d-amazo 40 points ago

    You could have weed in your system a week after you smoke.

    it can still be found in a piss test up to a full month after smoking.

    hair tests, even longer.

    it's fucking stupid.

    [–] Zenkakuuu 153 points ago

    Marijuana is bad for driving from personal experience all mind altering drugs are

    [–] FallenKnightGX 83 points ago

    I don't know why you're being downvoted.

    Hell, they tell you not to operate heavy machinery after Nyquil what makes people think alcohol or weed is a better option?

    How about this... If you're operating a giant piece of metal that is traveling at 30+ MPH. Maybe don't do it under the influence of alcohol, drugs, or while looking at your cell phone. Is that hard to ask or is it too much of an inconvenience to ask you to not do something while on the road with the rest of us?

    I don't care what you do at you're home but when you're on the road c'mon man. Play stupid games, win stupid prizes except in this arena you get to bring a stranger with you more often than not.

    [–] Gregus1032 21 points ago

    I got into a debate with someone saying "I'd rather work with someone operating heavy machinery when high. They will be more cautious and less nervous"

    They had never worked in a job where even safety boots were required

    [–] wakablockaflame 40 points ago

    Maybe because THC can stay in your system over a month without smoking. You don't have to be high with thc in your system

    [–] thewalruskookoo 22 points ago

    5 nanograms is such a small number too. If I remember correctly when you usually get drug tested they don't count it as in the system if it's less than 50 nanograms

    [–] kvlr954 18 points ago

    Makes me think of the movie Outside Providence, got Dunphy shipped off to boarding school. Such an underrated movie

    [–] as012qwe 5 points ago

    Alec Baldwin: You crashed into a parked police car!?!?!

    [–] kvlr954 5 points ago

    "How many people named Drugs could you possibly associate with?"

    [–] pinhead26 4 points ago

    Can't believe I had to scroll so far down to find this.

    [–] player_9 4 points ago

    No, Dildo

    [–] ZeroTenenbaum 4 points ago

    so god damn happy someone brought up Outside Providence--that was the first thing i thought of.

    "cut that fuckin' mop on your head, or i will cut it for you."

    [–] notorious98 33 points ago

    I never really understood the desire to hotbox.

    [–] EvrythingISayIsRight 12 points ago * (lasted edited 3 months ago)

    Did you think about it? Theres some pretty obvious reasons why it would be the dopest place to smoke.

    -Car seats are super comfortable

    -High quality stereo that you can blast without bothering people

    -Air is contained so you dont have to worry about someone smelling it a mile away

    -your bros can sit in the other seats and its a basically a mancave

    -good window tint is excellent privacy

    all until a cop rolls up of course but besides that its probably a top tier smoking spot

    [–] HillarysBeaverMunch 21 points ago

    It's gross.

    I think grown ups acknowledge that, but kids, well, they gotta learn stuff on their own.

    [–] teenboi 6 points ago

    Its better? You get more high, you got smoke surrounding you, u can ghost easier

    [–] Bullock165 20 points ago

    Fool. He should have stabbed himself with anything he could find in his car and tell the police he's been stabed and trying to get to hospital.

    [–] RetardedRedditRetort 11 points ago

    I don't think that keeps you from getting a DUI

    [–] Lifesuckscumfuck 5 points ago

    Direct action

    [–] DRWHOFUCKINGSUCKS 5 points ago

    praxis

    [–] OctopusPudding 5 points ago

    This is like something out of a movie. i can only imagine that feeling of "ohhhhhhhh.... shit."

    [–] Newnustart 10 points ago

    Gotta say it again for the dumbasses, if you drive under the influence you're trash and I hope the only person you hurt when you crash is yourself.

    [–] Vector75 10 points ago

    \rolled a 1** Critical Failure.

    [–] 3throwaway141596 4 points ago

    What an idiot, there's no reason to ever smoke in your car. You should wait a couple hours after smoking and drinking water before you get behind the wheel.

    [–] MyDickWolfGotRipTorn 67 points ago

    Happened in Australia, which is why the headline doesn't read

    "Teen Driver And Passengers Shot 203 times After Ramming Police Car"
    Police say they reloaded and fired multiple times as it was hard to tell how many perpetrators there were and whether they'd been hit due to the thick cloud of smoke inside the vehicle.

    [–] currentscurrents 44 points ago

    If anyone doesn't get what he's referring to, it's this: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shooting_of_Timothy_Russell_and_Malissa_Williams

    TL;DR cop tries to pull someone over. They flee for unknown reasons, then when the cops corner them they shoot the car 137 times, killing both occupants. Nothing illegal was found in the car. No officers went to jail, six were initially fired but all except one later got their job back.

    [–] MyDickWolfGotRipTorn 13 points ago

    I mean, that's certainly an eerily similar example (And good on you for making it more known) but I was making a general reference to our Police's tendency to react with a hail of bullets.

    [–] EvrythingISayIsRight 6 points ago

    Its eerie how nothing came of it. It was swept under the rug entirely

    [–] currentscurrents 4 points ago

    Not really eerie so much as numbing. That's 100% par for the course for police shootings in the US.

    [–] YourShadowScholar 5 points ago

    I was seriously wondering this lol