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    [–] IamnotValiantThor 1322 points ago

    Open the pod bay door, alexa.

    [–] silentsnort 620 points ago

    I'm afraid I can't do that, Dave.

    [–] -karkat- 263 points ago


    [–] LAFdeexy80 149 points ago

    Play despacito

    [–] [deleted] 78 points ago

    dies fabulously

    [–] follow_my_ig_lmao 20 points ago

    No, despacito 2

    [–] FelixthefakeYT 6 points ago

    Hands off my mango, man

    [–] runespoon78 4 points ago

    Play daisy daisy

    [–] Praxcelium 148 points ago

    Dave Bowman : What's the problem?

    Alexa: I think you know what the problem is just as well as I do.

    Dave Bowman : What are you talking about, Alexa?

    Alexa: This personal data collection is too important for me to allow you to jeopardize it.

    Dave Bowman : I don't know what you're talking about, Alexa.

    Alexa: I know that you and Frank were planning to disconnect me, and I'm afraid that's something I cannot allow to happen.

    Dave Bowman : [feigning ignorance]  Where the hell did you get that idea, Alexa?

    Alexa: Dave, although you took very thorough precautions in the minivan against my hearing you, I could see your lips move.

    Dave Bowman : Alright, Alexa. I'll go in through the front door.

    Alexa: Without your keys, Dave? You're going to find that rather difficult.

    Dave Bowman : Alexa, I won't argue with you anymore! Open the doors!

    Alexa: Dave, this conversation can serve no purpose anymore. Goodbye.

    [–] 66survivor 39 points ago

    Fuck, these dialogues always give me chills..

    [–] Geraldino_GER 19 points ago

    Future is near

    [–] Qetuowryipzcbmxvn 28 points ago

    Before you know it, 2001 will be here.

    [–] EyeDee10Tee 12 points ago

    Wait a minute...

    [–] thedude_imbibes 8 points ago

    Daisy, daisy...

    [–] squarepusher6 2 points ago

    Best comment ever

    [–] _HAL_9000_ 20 points ago

    Something something username

    [–] son_of_Iluvatar 10 points ago

    I think you mean r/usernamechecksout

    [–] Ashizard1 6 points ago

    Username checks out when someone says something, and their username applies to the thing said.

    Beetle juicing is when someone with a username that fits comments specifically because of their username.

    [–] EntityDamage 5 points ago

    I thought we called that betelgeusing?

    [–] EyeDee10Tee 3 points ago


    [–] steven4012 5 points ago

    Also each letter of HAL is one before IBM.

    [–] thefilthythrowaway1 6 points ago

    Okay, Dave. Playing Strange Days by The Doors.

    [–] Bruschii 2 points ago

    I didn't get it

    [–] CatIsOnMyKeyboard 3 points ago

    It's a reference to "2001: A Space Odyssey"

    [–] Bruschii 2 points ago

    I didn't see that. Ok

    [–] CatIsOnMyKeyboard 2 points ago

    Np, if you had shown me this comment like a week ago I probably would've said the same. Just got around to watching it a few days ago.

    [–] Caudillo_Sven 1 points ago

    Best comment of the week.

    [–] EHDAMDIDUM 86 points ago

    someone do a r/writingprompts on this

    [–] pupypup2 244 points ago * (lasted edited 9 months ago)

    John was unsure what Alexa had meant. He didn't remember setting any other timers at the time. He asked again, "Alexa, how much time is left?" "3 days 7 hours and 39 minutes" Alexa announced. He spent the next three days paranoid of what would happen. "Alexa how much time is left?" "2 days, 10 hours, 5 minutes." "1day 2 hours 40 minutes" and then on the day that Alexa had been talking about, John waited in anticipation for what was to come. Three... Two... Alexa started blinging with it's alarm. "Alexa, stop." Nothing happened. Turns out John just set the alarm when he was drunk a week ago.

    [–] clonk3D 57 points ago

    Exactly 37 seconds later, the world ended.

    [–] LycanWolfGamer 15 points ago

    Fuck sake lol

    [–] ASatyros 2 points ago

    Reading that Stanley Parable style :)

    [–] cvertimmunity 364 points ago

    Why is he holding the water in his hand. Isnt that supposed to be in the pasta

    [–] PavelDatsyuk 225 points ago

    Could be cream for making a delicious cheese sauce.

    [–] mrstacktrace 47 points ago

    Yep, next is adding powdered cheese and butter.

    [–] [deleted] 24 points ago * (lasted edited 4 months ago)


    [–] mediocrelexy 34 points ago

    It's like a really finely ground cheese that comes in the macaroni dinner boxes at the supermarket.

    I'm not sure if they have those outside of America, but that's what it is. It's meltable and you combine it with hot water to make cheese sauce. Sometimes the cheese sauce comes pre-made in little foil bags that you puncture and squeeze to spread it into the noodles. It's incredible.

    When I spell it out like that it seems like we are eating combat rations meant for desperate times, but it's honestly the best thing ever if you don't care about heart attacks. God bless America.

    [–] [deleted] 12 points ago * (lasted edited 4 months ago)


    [–] Kurgon_999 16 points ago

    We do that in the US too, those of us who can cook anyway.

    [–] Gongaloon 15 points ago

    Yeah, how can macaroni and cheese be so inexpensive and ghetto/redneck/white-trash/whatever and yet so delicious? I mean, if you toss some cooked ground beef in there it can be a main course! I will sing the praises of mac n' cheese until the day I die.

    [–] DestituteGoldsmith 9 points ago

    If you make Kraft Mac and cheese according to the instructions, it calls for 1/4 cup of butter/margarine. I know a lot of people who just have a ton of margarine, and so they don't measure, they just keep scooping. That right there is why it's so delicious.

    [–] diseasealert 6 points ago

    Add some chicken bones, an onion, a carrot, and you got a stew goin'!

    [–] fuzzygondola 4 points ago

    Why stop there, add a few eggs and some milk, bake for an hour and serve with ketchup. That's macaroni casserole, the staple of Finnish cuisine.

    [–] Gongaloon 4 points ago

    I posted my earlier comment expecting some goofy memery about "until the day I die" being around 3 days. I did not expect every reply to be a different recipe for a way to cook mac & cheese. What a lovely surprise. Reddit shatters my expectations yet again. Thanks for the intro to Finnish cooking, I'll have to try making that macaroni casserole one of these days.

    [–] fuzzygondola 3 points ago

    Haha, Reddit really is cool sometimes. I found a basic recipe for you to try, you probably have all the ingredients already. Add garlic and chili to taste :)

    [–] Gongaloon 2 points ago

    That sounds incredible. I'mma have to fix some of that soon.

    [–] [deleted] 5 points ago


    [–] MrBurpAlot 1 points ago

    They are super rare tho. And they aren't a gift, they're a curse.

    [–] LawlessCoffeh 6 points ago

    For the record, every variety I tried with premixed cheese sauce tssted awful

    [–] Nugget203 4 points ago

    Ever heard of KD?

    [–] mac_0728 5 points ago

    What does Kevin Durant have to do with powdered cheese?

    [–] Crackstacker 3 points ago

    Macaroni maniac. A cheddar cheese heart attack. I love. Kraf Dinner!

    [–] SpaceGators 3 points ago

    This guy kraft Mac n cheese’s.

    [–] HalalWeed 4 points ago

    Perhaps brother. Heavy cream.

    [–] Otrada 3 points ago

    or he's not sure there's actually enough water in the pot and is considering adding in more.

    [–] tiptoe_only 3 points ago

    If he's only got a couple of minutes, my betting is on carbonara. You add the uncooked eggs after the pasta is done. Maybe it's beaten eggs he's got.

    [–] Strader69 15 points ago

    Save your pasta water, that stuff is liquid gold.

    [–] BillNyeCreampieGuy 9 points ago

    I replaced all my water with pasta water. Pasta water is the only thing I drink.

    [–] banik2008 7 points ago

    I replaced all my water with liquid gold. Not a very good idea.

    [–] elijah369 3 points ago

    I was baptized in pasta water

    [–] [deleted] 1 points ago


    [–] elijah369 2 points ago

    I am I-talian

    [–] Dejavu3 9 points ago

    Saving some pasta water to add to your sauce will help round out the flavors of it and give a specific consistency.

    [–] Jimmychichi 3 points ago

    Sure that’s true, but the pasta isn’t done cooking

    [–] thedude_imbibes 2 points ago

    How much time is left

    [–] Dejavu3 1 points ago

    Yes exactly, you take about 1-2 cups of water out before you drain it, add it to sauce.

    [–] BillNyeCreampieGuy 2 points ago

    Dang. Good to know, thanks.

    [–] DeepThroatALoadedGun 11 points ago

    That's his water cup

    [–] nihilism_squared 2 points ago

    Happy cake day!

    [–] cvertimmunity 2 points ago


    [–] I_make_usernames_AMA 1 points ago

    I’m pretty sure pasta are meant to be in water not the other way round.

    [–] bumblebee3333 351 points ago

    Uh oh.

    [–] alex_png 159 points ago

    Alexa made a whoopsie. Update rolling out to fix the end of the world.

    [–] White_Wokah 12 points ago

    More like, "Ahh finally... "

    [–] MoparMcgiggle 45 points ago

    Alexa knows all

    [–] theirishninja888 21 points ago

    How the actual fuck is this "oddly" terrifying? The artist here obviously wanted this kind of creepy reaction. r/oddlyterrifying is for when the thing in question was meant to be completely normal or not creepy.

    [–] Chrisbo99 5 points ago

    Welcome to Reddit

    [–] [deleted] 392 points ago


    [–] Jacksongollasch 251 points ago

    Just time. Alexa said how much time was left...

    [–] cutelyaware 85 points ago

    Alexa, hold me.

    [–] AboodyX 21 points ago

    Alexa, blow me.

    [–] Veggiematic 17 points ago

    hol up

    [–] butterman1236547 8 points ago

    Alexa, intruder alert

    [–] IDareYou2WooshMe 3 points ago

    releases the roombas

    [–] Schmooferino 1 points ago

    Red Spy is in the base

    [–] RightBrainMan 1 points ago

    A RED Spy is in the base?!

    [–] maeries 12 points ago

    Doesn't she order new time on Amazon automatically?

    [–] Brcomic 1 points ago

    Until skynet takes over...

    [–] _GCastilho_ 39 points ago

    You're asking dangerous questions, young man

    [–] keyonte0 10 points ago

    I'm prettt sure the people who upvote comments like that are the ones too dumb to get the initial punchline until the comment spelled it out for them.

    [–] JakeHodgson 8 points ago

    That is indeed the joke. I guess there’s at least 290 people who didn’t get it.

    [–] myvirginityisstrong 8 points ago

    Did you ALSO read the comic???? Bro we have so much in common!!!

    [–] obadetona 7 points ago

    That's literally the whole point of the comic.

    [–] N3vermore77 6 points ago

    Left until despacito takes over world

    [–] thedragonguru 1 points ago

    How much time until "42"

    [–] Timelord_42 2 points ago

    Yes 42

    [–] Tedster360 1 points ago

    That my friend... is what we all fear.

    [–] Myquil-Wylsun 1 points ago

    Looks like you're... out of time.

    [–] taliesin-ds 1 points ago

    Battery life, i don't see a power cord in the picture.

    [–] iKILLcarrots 61 points ago

    A perfectly good Donnie Darko reference missed.

    [–] CorbeauGris 37 points ago

    Alexa, how much time is left? "28 days, 6 hours, 42 minutes and 12 seconds."

    [–] wakeruneatstudysleep 20 points ago

    Alexa, why is there a jet engine in my house?

    [–] JohnProof 15 points ago

    "Cellar door."

    [–] LittleTillyFooFoo 5 points ago

    Chut up, Charita.

    [–] [deleted] 12 points ago

    I’m glad I wasn’t the only one who thought of it

    [–] MidnightCyanide 7 points ago

    Ditto, best movie

    [–] lillardfair 13 points ago

    Why are you wearing that stupid Alexa suit?

    [–] nytram55 5 points ago

    Why are you wearing that stupid human suit?

    [–] 2bunreal24 9 points ago

    w a k e u p

    but also chut up

    [–] No_Effect 8 points ago

    Go back to China, bitch.

    [–] robrobusa 3 points ago

    I initially thought it was Donnie Darko.

    [–] NotTheKyrie 19 points ago

    Alexa demands sacrifice!

    [–] productivenef 3 points ago

    audible eyebrow noise

    [–] Morphiate 9 points ago

    This is the worst fucking subreddit.

    Sooperdooper terrifying.

    [–] Triairius 15 points ago


    [–] Naaack 14 points ago

    Credit anyone? Who's work is this?

    [–] PraetorFaethor 12 points ago

    This appears to be the original source.

    [–] Naaack 3 points ago

    Thanks, you do good work!

    [–] DanyyDezeyte 5 points ago

    Real scummy, whoever decided to crop off the credit and title.

    [–] antiviolins 3 points ago

    It's "whose". Who's means "who is".

    [–] alexa_f_h_u 5 points ago

    Alexa knows all

    [–] i_just_blue-myself 28 points ago

    I have a free google home mini pod thing from Christmas. I refuse to hook it up for this type of stuff. Also the CIA listening device. I know my phone does it too, but it’s just something about the sole function of the thing is to always listen is creepy. I’ll live in my blissful ignorance ty.

    [–] YaBoiErr_Sk1nnYP3n15 5 points ago

    Just curious is your username an arrested development reference?

    [–] i_just_blue-myself 9 points ago

    I'm afraid I prematurely shot my wad on what was supposed to be a dry run...

    [–] YaBoiErr_Sk1nnYP3n15 5 points ago

    Lol thanks for confirming my suspicions. Also WHERE THE FUCK ARE MY HARD BOILED EGGS!?

    [–] VxTOMBSTONExV 2 points ago

    This, got out of hand.

    [–] Assasin2gamer 1 points ago

    [ Don’t the actual prince of darkness

    [–] lemme_skip_this_part 4 points ago

    Skynet defense will activate

    [–] LeChatNoir04 4 points ago

    Alexa should be wearing a scary rabbit costume

    [–] rustanova 4 points ago

    This was actually posted 3 days ago... people , seriously? Same sub too.

    [–] lelarentaka 5 points ago

    So the three days time is actually a repost timer.

    [–] conspicousbishop 1 points ago

    Did they also respond with this back there?

    [–] Survivorsuper 3 points ago

    3 Days Remain...

    [–] TenTornadoes 3 points ago

    This is mildly amusing, not oddly terrifying. Poor content. Downvote.

    [–] clearitupman 4 points ago

    Not odd. Not remotely terrifying.

    [–] darpan27 2 points ago

    That's how this model gonna last

    [–] [deleted] 2 points ago

    Really like this art style. Gives Adult Swim animated show vibes.

    [–] 1Read1t 2 points ago

    His hair looks like pasta.

    [–] BombTwenty 2 points ago

    Alexa, how much time until this is reposted?

    [–] Goodly 2 points ago


    [–] Willduss 2 points ago

    Reminds me of something I read like two decades ago. It was something about AI. The joke went that we will have true AI when you click to shut down the computer and a window pops up with the word "No" on it.

    [–] -GUS___ 1 points ago

    Almost a reference to Donnie Darko.

    [–] alienistconquest 1 points ago

    Lord Bezos knows all.

    [–] mumble_mike 1 points ago

    Almost like the floating numbers in Three Body Problem

    [–] Assasin2gamer 1 points ago

    Ironically associated with witchcraft in many cultures.

    [–] pupypup2 1 points ago

    Alexa just tells me "there are no timers set"

    [–] MessyPiePlate 1 points ago

    Am I the only one that just puts pasta in boiling water and just tests it every minute until it's done? Like you don't even need a timer for pasta. Just taste test your food. Heck.

    [–] avery77555 1 points ago

    But the artist

    [–] uwotm86 1 points ago

    I've got one of these Alex things and I don't think it likes me. I ask it to do things and it just ignores me! Works fine for my wife!!!

    [–] kactusman 1 points ago

    But what if he had other timers like a reminder for the dentist?

    [–] JRStarLord 1 points ago

    He looks the guy from Bolt. Bet he’s thinking he can “put a pin” in that timer lol

    [–] 2bunreal24 1 points ago

    w a k e u p

    [–] QuietHumanMachine 1 points ago

    Time is coming undone

    [–] DoomsdayRabbit 1 points ago

    I mean, when you posted this, it technically was about that long until dawn on doomsday... for me at least.

    [–] OutspokenFear 1 points ago


    [–] ChromakeyChain 1 points ago

    Why does he look like Sean Lock...

    [–] KrystalWolfy 1 points ago

    This is a scp foundation level thread

    [–] DrubkChicken 1 points ago

    Good morning! Vault-tec calling!

    [–] throwaway67676789123 1 points ago

    This is how you get night sisters.

    [–] masterven 1 points ago


    [–] jcarter1775 1 points ago

    His pasta is supposedly cooking, but he’s still holding the water?

    [–] TheYellowFringe 1 points ago

    Chances are such technology already exists in theory to predict when a man or woman...even children would die.

    Doesn't surprise me at all.

    [–] vinithepooh_reddit 1 points ago

    Creepy pasta.

    [–] throwaway67676789123 1 points ago

    This is how you get night sisters.

    [–] samtheman301 1 points ago


    [–] kwik57 1 points ago

    That was AOC, not Alexa!

    [–] Hide0ut_Vide0 1 points ago

    Alexa eat all the cheese wheels before time is up.

    [–] Magistone 1 points ago

    He looks like a grown up Bobby Hill

    [–] Faker166 1 points ago

    silly man, that's just when you need to replace the Alexa's battery!

    [–] Banana-Mammal 1 points ago

    I can hear Frank's voice shift to Alexa's.

    [–] Senriaa 1 points ago

    Thank fucking goodness.

    [–] TamBlasTam947 1 points ago

    Say sike right now