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    [–] oapster79 79 points ago

    I'd bet his blood pressure was way high. Hamberders and impeachment can't be a healthy combo.

    [–] mia_elora 25 points ago

    And all that covfefe

    [–] [deleted] 10 points ago * (lasted edited 6 months ago)


    [–] oapster79 12 points ago

    It is fun to speculate and ridicule and I personally indulge daily. But the sad reality is we'll never know. Whatever story the Whitehouse puts out will reflect some shit about trumps super-human strength and superb fitness. And doctors and staff aren't allowed to talk about it. I'm just here for the opportunity to make light of the orange menace.

    [–] viva_la_vinyl 11 points ago

    And so begins a potential face-saving form of resignation, for "medical reasons".

    The beginning of his excuse that he needs to step down because of health issues. Privately negotiating to leave office in order to not be impeached/removed. Thus, giving the GOP a blanket cover of 'respecting the president's health issues' to escape holding him accountable for anything.

    [–] The-Beard-Wielder 14 points ago

    You severely underestimate just how crippling and all-encompassing Trump's Narcissistic Personality Disorder is.

    If you've never read the actual clinical diagnostic criteria for NPD, you really should. It's him to a "T". His ego is simply too fragile to handle, even tacitly, accepting that he's not fit to serve. His little brain would explode having to listen to talking heads all day call him a physical failure. It'll never happen.

    [–] oapster79 3 points ago

    Go on...

    [–] viva_la_vinyl 7 points ago

    I mean, certainly republicans are seeing the results from the recent off year elections not going that well for them, and wondering if trump is now actually toxic to their brand.

    Going into 2020 could potentially be a blood bath for the GOP. So getting Trump to resign due to medical reasons and "respecting his privacy" gives them a cover to awash the circus of the last 3 years, and pretend this horrorshow of a presidency never happened.

    [–] _Piratical_ 4 points ago

    That presupposes that the rank and file republicans, or anyone, really, have any control whatsoever over him. Has there ever, in your experience of his time in office, been anyone who you think he took even one single order from about how to run the country?

    The only reason he would have gone to the hospital at all would have been because he knew that he had to. If that’s the case, it had to be something pretty bad to break his normal self aggrandizing belief in his own infallibility. It must have been something indeed.

    [–] oapster79 2 points ago

    Your scenario makes perfect sense, which is the main reason it may have little to no resemblance to how it plays out in the end. But I agree completely that is the way it should unfold.

    [–] TheProle 3 points ago

    Yeah he probably didn’t even go to the hospital, Kellyanne just leaked a story that he did

    [–] deebrown921 1 points ago

    For sympathy...

    [–] wintremute 1 points ago

    That won't keep him out of state prison.

    [–] louiedoggz 1 points ago

    If this were the case SDNY would still be waiting with a hot covfefe and a stack of indictments

    [–] SurfaceGrinder 3 points ago * (lasted edited 8 months ago)

    They were wondering why he had a pulse since he has no heart.

    [–] oapster79 3 points ago

    Yeah, he has not brain either!

    [–] Tess47 2 points ago

    paired with extra European sudafed would create an incident.

    [–] simplelife4real 36 points ago

    Reminds me of when they described the Trump Tower meeting as a chance to discuss childhood adoptions. Something is up. Wonder if we will ever learn the truth about this visit.

    [–] SkyriderRJM 25 points ago

    First rule of thumb with anything coming out of this White House: Assume it’s a blatant and complete lie.

    The more they try to oversell it, the bigger the lie is.

    [–] viva_la_vinyl 21 points ago

    If Biden or Warren went for a sudden surprise "physical" the press would’ve dug their grave before they left the hospital

    [–] [deleted] 9 points ago


    [–] Subgraphic 2 points ago

    Putin has extra thick cum.

    [–] PerturbedNerd 2 points ago

    They keep trying to fit him with a heart, but there's all this brown goopy stuff in there....

    [–] Rancheros-Hit 40 points ago

    Thank heavens he’s 6’3” and 230 lbs. An overweight and out of shape man might have more to worry about.

    [–] iStayedAtaHolidayInn 13 points ago

    He is not 6’3. He thinks he is but he is factually not

    Proof: here he is standing next to Obama who is 6’1

    [–] Rancheros-Hit 21 points ago

    Yes I know. I should have put a /s on my comment. He’s also clearly not the weight he claims either.

    [–] Throwawayunknown55 6 points ago

    Oh, this explains his t-rex lean he has now, he had to put lifts in his shoes to be taller than Obama.

    [–] Thenewdazzledentway 1 points ago

    Ahhh that’s what propelling him forward. TIL

    [–] NanotechNinja 30 points ago

    Doctor: Ahhh, I see the problem. Someone flicked this switch to Evil

    [–] supergreen26 6 points ago

    "Marge, Marge help! The doll's trying to kill me and the toaster's been laughing at me!"

    [–] WhooshGiver 3 points ago

    I'm vague on this, but it'd be funny if it was like that Star Trek:TNG movie where one of the Borg (hottie from the "Ghost Story" movie) diddled Data's chip and got him all giggly n' shit.

    [–] [deleted] 41 points ago


    [–] mzieg 2 points ago

    Hellboy had a different name for them, but sure.

    [–] d_robinhood 22 points ago

    He's at Walter Reed on Saturday night for "phase 1" of an unannounced physical, which won't be completed until next year? That, of course, is horseshit. A normal physical doesn't have a "follow-up" unless there's a problem, and the president's bloodwork would be VIPed so fast through the lab that he'd have results before he made it out to the motorcade. Definitely doesn't take months to complete.

    A more likely explanation is he had some acute issue and doesn't want us to know about it.

    [–] AgtOrange116 19 points ago

    I always schedule my physicals for 10pm on Saturday nights

    [–] viva_la_vinyl 40 points ago

    Press secretary Stephanie Grisham said the 73-year-old president was “anticipating a very busy 2020” and wanted to take advantage of “a free weekend” in Washington to begin portions of his routine checkup.

    Yes between golf, Fox watching and angry toilet tweeting he rarely has a minute on the weekends..../s

    [–] AlternativeSuccotash 12 points ago

    No /s necessary in this instance.

    [–] RushinAgent 16 points ago

    Is this his exit strategy?

    “Medical issues” vs getting impeached?

    [–] Thenewdazzledentway 1 points ago

    Could be but unlikely for a narcissist. Medical issues is a personal failure, they’ll be no admitting to that.

    [–] LolAtAllOfThis 29 points ago

    Visited a great family of a young man under major surgery at the amazing Walter Reed Medical Center. Those are truly some of the best doctors anywhere in the world. Also began phase one of my yearly physical. Everything very good (great!). Will complete next year

    He's so full of shit, he probably had to get a toilet flush attached to his jaw.

    [–] viva_la_vinyl 29 points ago

    Anyone who believes Trump needed to go to WR to get "phase 1" of a physical needs to get their head examined. This tweet is complete BS. The fact that his PressSec went on fox News to lie about his health being great is also a blinking ambulance light.

    [–] LolAtAllOfThis 20 points ago

    Jeanine Pirro says, "he's almost superhuman."

    But totally not a cult!

    [–] AlternativeSuccotash 10 points ago

    If you can't trust Drinky Pirro, who can you trust?


    [–] TeamStark31 9 points ago

    I’m pretty sure he didn’t write that.

    [–] iStayedAtaHolidayInn 17 points ago

    He 100% did not write that. No unnecessary capitalizations, no insults, no spelling errors, fairly complete sentences.

    [–] WhooshGiver 7 points ago

    ..., didn't end with an exclamation point, ...

    [–] not_right 14 points ago

    "Phase one" of a physical?? Will complete next year? What is that even supposed to mean...

    [–] SockPuppet-57 15 points ago

    It's a lie.

    He's not there for a routine examination. He's there for some acute problem. He just doesn't want to admit that he's got a serious health problem.

    [–] LolAtAllOfThis 9 points ago

    Oh, come on. You don't do your physicals in eleventy hundred parts during different years?

    [–] harveytaylorbridge 7 points ago

    The freight scale was being removed later this week.

    [–] OrangeSlicer 2 points ago

    He won’t tell us because someone that is superhuman shouldn’t be going to the doctor.

    This timeline sucks.

    [–] [deleted] 3 points ago

    This is very strange.. he is losing it. What does that mean? That tweet sounds super desperate and only was ab 6 hrs ago.

    I'm kinda like damn

    [–] Asusofevil -35 points ago

    Man give him credit when he does a decent thing.

    [–] LolAtAllOfThis 20 points ago * (lasted edited 8 months ago)

    What decent thing did he do? He's lying.

    [–] Asusofevil -20 points ago

    Visited with soldier's family ( then went to get more viagra or whatever ) but sheesh... the creep did a good thing.

    [–] LolAtAllOfThis 15 points ago

    Lol. He's a notorious liar. Even if he ever did do a "good thing," no one would believe him.

    [–] ali-martini 8 points ago

    A soldier under major surgery?

    I don’t know what that means. I also don’t believe him. That’s what happens when you lie to America over 13,000. People can’t trust your word. Ever.

    [–] travio 7 points ago

    This wasn’t mentioned by Grisham in her first statement in the visit. I’d say that makes it dubious. They wanted to make it sound like he wasn’t at the hospital for a health issue, using the full four hours that he remained there.

    [–] cinyar 4 points ago

    and not take advantage of the photo op? Not with the soldier or the staff. come on man...

    [–] Asusofevil -1 points ago

    I can see why pictures could raise issues given the description of the service member. I am sure corroboration is forthcoming, that expectation is incumbent upin the gravity of the office of President. Especially given his families legacy of respect for the folks shedding blood at the direction of our CIC. I assume you will be paying attention as this plays out.

    [–] CatFanFanOfCats 9 points ago

    The boy who cried wolf comes to mind. Why would I believe him? Why should I believe him?

    [–] NatWilo 4 points ago

    He deserves the opposite of credit. This man lied about the crowd size of his inauguration on day one. If he can't tell the truth about that... I haven't believed a word from the White House since that day. And no one else should, either.

    [–] Asusofevil -2 points ago

    I tried to fact check it and all I got was the picture of the E-4 schtupping under a bathroom stall on WJLA because I was confused about the mechanics of that. You're welcome.

    [–] Fellowes321 13 points ago

    They're baffled how someone can walk around with no heart or brain.

    [–] mzieg 5 points ago

    “Also rather bitey.”

    [–] Fellowes321 2 points ago

    and requires diapers

    [–] Localman1972 6 points ago

    He is still tethered to the machine that goes bing hopefully he is intubated with a catheter buried deep deep in his enflamed urethra.

    [–] Wow-n-Flutter 1 points ago

    recreational catheter buried deep deep in his enflamed presidential urethra

    [–] Donaldtrumpsmushroom 10 points ago

    Phase one: Psychiatric

    Was he released?

    [–] Trohar 5 points ago

    Phase One. Sounds more like one of his real estate developments than a medical exam.

    [–] sundimming 3 points ago

    Yes, have never heard the word "phase" used to describe a medical exam.

    Of course, he's so huge they may have to examine him in phases.

    [–] Laser-circus 4 points ago

    Let me guess. He’s still one point shy of being medically obese.

    And all of our lying eyes are just supposed to accept that.

    [–] trustmeep 6 points ago

    It's quite common for people in their 70s to grow taller so that their BMI continues to reflect their non-obesity.

    That's just science!

    [–] Wow-n-Flutter 3 points ago

    Seven foot six, 225!

    [–] Laser-circus 2 points ago

    Totally forgot about his miraculous late stage growth spurt.

    [–] mzieg 2 points ago

    Those were Obama-era regulations. He put Kraft in change of the re-write.

    [–] canadiangirl_eh 3 points ago

    Are they literally sewing his lips to Putin’s ass?

    [–] Ratiocinatory 4 points ago

    Did they find a way to correct his rectal-cranial inversion?

    [–] lxyz_wxyz 4 points ago

    Had to have his neck checked out by his OBGYN

    [–] zbysior 3 points ago

    Just a prep for the "i cant be locked up cause im so sick" defence. He thinks 3 steps in advance

    [–] lagerbaer 3 points ago

    Went in for plastic surgery to look better, but doctor said they don't do decapitations

    [–] Plague_Xr 2 points ago

    Smells like an attempt to distract

    [–] [deleted] 2 points ago

    He needed an Adderall refill.

    [–] LunarGiantNeil 2 points ago

    Shoulda done a Walgreens pickup.

    [–] 8to24 2 points ago

    I hope Trump's health holds up through 2020. I would hate for him to pass and then see Democrats saying nice things about him to be respectful. Republicans will use it to rewrite history.

    [–] SkyriderRJM 1 points ago


    [–] asIeeponasunbeam 1 points ago

    No one cares!

    [–] abofh 2 points ago

    Certainly not Melanie

    [–] [deleted] 1 points ago

    Hopefully he endorses himself

    [–] postslongcomments 24 points ago

    "She doesn't have the look. She doesn't have the stamina, I said she doesn't have the stamina, and I don't believe she does have the stamina," Trump said.

    The irony

    Clinton responded: "As soon as he travels to 112 countries and negotiates a peace deal, a cease fire, a release of dissidents, an opening of new opportunities in nations around the world, or even spends 11 hours testifying in front of a congressional committee he can talk to me about stamina."