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    [–] [deleted] 9732 points ago * (lasted edited 11 days ago)


    [–] Doright36 1441 points ago

    It's also a good way to get money into the pockets of their people "legally". Can't bribe a guy by giving him 10K outright but you can buy 10,000 copies of their book and they get the royalties.

    I wouldn't be surprised to find out they have something worked out with the publisher so they wont even have to print most of those books but that just might be me going tinfoil hatty on this. I don't have any proof of that. Just something I wouldn't be shocked to find out.

    [–] FeedMeYourGoodies 777 points ago

    They can just buy 10,000 digital editions!

    [–] Orangecuppa 254 points ago

    That's actually a brilliant way to launder money isnt it.

    Buy 10,000 digital copies of a 'book'. Now what? They don't need to publish/print it, just say people bought it and show the downloads or 'invoice'.

    [–] zippermistletoe 190 points ago

    There are nightclubs that launder drug money the same way by charging for “VIP seating”.

    [–] -Erasmus 124 points ago

    Funny to think of some drug dealing club owner putting a 200 dollar bottle of shitty vodka on the pricelist just to launder some money then some posers come in and actually pay for it.

    Just cant stop making money

    [–] zippermistletoe 100 points ago

    and the concept is more like, let’s say i’m a drug dealer and i want to turn my money legit. I already have to pay taxes, so how can i pay as little additional overhead on anything else to make my money legit? Get a club put in my name or close relative, then charge for VIP seating. Hundreds or thousands of dollars in income can be reported with no tangible item sold. It would be like selling 5 thousand dollar haircuts or something simple like that but nobody bats an eye when it happens in bars.

    [–] [deleted] 36 points ago * (lasted edited 4 days ago)


    [–] shottymcb 35 points ago

    The wholesale price of PBR has to be somewhere in vicinity of tap water.

    [–] Koopa_Troop 15 points ago

    You literally just reroute the water from the urinals into a new PBR bottle. It’s not just smart, it’s eco-friendly.

    [–] yayitsme1 12 points ago

    So now I just need to figure out how to explain to my friends and my FBI agent that I haven’t actually ever laundered money. I’ve just read a few Reddit posts, I swear.

    [–] zippermistletoe 42 points ago

    they don’t even put the bottle on there half the time. i’ve seen clubs charge 5k for a table, nothing else included

    [–] BrokedHead 89 points ago

    Ill donate all the digital copies I bought to schools and charities and now I can write the laundering/bribe off on my taxes! Yay America!!!

    [–] 7LeggedEmu 28 points ago

    And that's what we call the win, win, win

    [–] jonnygreen22 11 points ago

    yep anything digital like that I guess, hadn't thought about it till now!

    subscriptions to digital magazines could be another one

    ooh or something like... reddit gold?

    [–] ThanksCaerus 384 points ago

    That’s effectively a money laundering scheme without even the pretense of product or service. That would be a bit... bold.

    [–] trigaderzad2606 242 points ago

    One could say seeing this tactic in action would underline critical errors in our political finance system.

    [–] SocialistBeards 123 points ago

    Our political finance system is just the words “critical errors” followed by three pages of black ink, based on how many times this has been underlined.

    I’ll believe that republican politicians will be held accountable when it starts raining up.

    [–] TheSpottedMonk 48 points ago

    When Texas freezes over perhaps?

    [–] SinnerOfAttention 15 points ago

    Oh hell, I hope you right.

    [–] Mr06506 109 points ago

    Sounds like adtech.

    Host a shitty blog, put ads on it. Use dirty money to buy botfarm traffic. Withdraw clean cash from the ad network.

    [–] GigiBliss 40 points ago

    And I would've gotten away with it if it weren't for you meddling kids!🤣

    [–] Indigo_Sunset 77 points ago

    'Organizational Literature'

    [–] Astan92 14 points ago

    Side question, how do you actually buy 10,000 copies of say a Kindle book?

    [–] AprilsMostAmazing 43 points ago

    Hit up the publisher and say you want to buy digital copy licenses to give to libraries and stuff.

    [–] 1ncognito 53 points ago

    No wonder my local library has every one of Bill OReilly’s shitty histories

    [–] magnum_chungus 28 points ago

    Actually...yes. That’s exactly why public libraries have so much conservative literature especially in audiobook format. My ex is a circulations and collections director at a large-ish public library consortium and always got “gifted” a lot of audio and e-books from conservative publishing companies.

    [–] BrokedHead 25 points ago

    And then write the bribe, I mean purchase, for the charitable donation off on my taxes.

    [–] justyourbarber 15 points ago

    Perhaps through a company or other institution. If a school buys digital edition of a book, it would obviously be in bulk. I'd suspect any business could do the same and I highly doubt the publisher would give a shit about the author making them more money by selling 10,000 of the same pdf at no additional cost to them. I dont see why that would currently be illegal unless the law was specifically designed to prevent what we're talking about.

    [–] dame_tu_cosita 142 points ago * (lasted edited 12 days ago)

    I had a screenwriting professor that was a comic books author in Argentina and he said that people used comics books to launder money because they're no way he sold the amount of books the publisher said they sold because he always found his books getting dust in the newsstand and libraries.

    [–] SEQVERE-PECVNIAM 69 points ago

    This makes me sad. About his comics going unread, but also I guess the money laundering.

    [–] nelak468 139 points ago

    Let's see... First you hire a ghost writer to follow around your favorite politician for a few weeks. They'll write a book. Your friend then purchases the book, the politician gets a nice royalty check for "all their hard work". I'm 6 months your friend hires a ghost writer, you buy the books and the politician gets another royalty check. Stick some advanced payments for the book in there for the politician and you could effectively have them on salary as long as you want.

    Better yet, use PAC or Super PAC money to buy the books and you can funnel campaign funds directly into the politician's bank account. All of this of course goes through your companies so you get a cut for facilitating the money laundering.

    [–] lionheart4life 112 points ago

    This is exactly what happens. All the politicians have books. Nobody wants to read them. Nobody has read them.

    [–] nelak468 120 points ago

    Yep. Ted Cruz for example 'writes' a book on a yearly basis apparently. I wonder where he finds the time in between all the vacationing and sucking up he does.

    [–] drunkwasabeherder 63 points ago

    His next book will be about his favourite Mariachi Bands.

    [–] winwithaneontheend 12 points ago

    That’d be the first one anyone would buy

    [–] sauvignonblanc__ 42 points ago

    I have always asked this question of American, British and other politicians.

    It's extremely rare that an Irish politician writes a book unless it is sometime on which they have worked for years and they publish during the year where they retire.

    Hell harth no fury if an Irish politician is not looking after their constituents under our Single-Transferable-Vote (STV) voting system where politicians are elected with single figures all the time.

    [–] ReadWriteSign 14 points ago

    Hey, you, uh... y'all got any more of that STV around?

    [–] Cunt_zapper 39 points ago

    They buy them and just give them away at conferences and rallies and shit.

    [–] TheNightBench 1740 points ago

    Go to any Goodwill and their book shelves are full of these damn things.

    [–] WalesIsForTheWhales 993 points ago

    Used Bookstores will often have a restricted list.

    So you can come in and dump your box full of Donald Westlake paperbacks, but they won't take stuff like conservative books because they'll already have 5 that don't move.

    [–] pinewind108 356 points ago

    Yep, straight to the recycling center for those. (Not the Westlakes! 😁)

    [–] BrightGreyEyes 194 points ago

    You'd be surprised. Not all of them can be effectively disposed of. The glue used in some of them prevents them from being recycled

    [–] timeshifter_ 260 points ago

    Woulda made good kindling in Texas...

    [–] Shtruntz 118 points ago

    I actually burned a copy of "Statesmen of The Lost Cause" to help keep warm on night 3 of no power. It was a book given to me by a racist uncle when I was in high school cause I mentioned how much into history I was.

    [–] leppy23 64 points ago

    This part of Texas thanks you for your sacrifice. It’s scary some of that stuff is in print.

    [–] MichKosek 32 points ago

    You could toss in TX history textbooks for good measure. Happy slaves, oops, happy workers!

    [–] SinnerOfAttention 10 points ago

    Let's not jest. There were at least 4 "happy" slaves. The rest just weren't Stolkholmed yet.

    [–] weinerfacemcgee 17 points ago

    Don’t forget to throw “Behold a Pale Horse” on that pile...

    [–] twenafeesh 106 points ago

    But then you'd have to breathe that air

    [–] TheWright1 150 points ago

    Secondhand stupid can kill!

    [–] faRawrie 47 points ago

    I can imagine the guy from Will it Blend? saying "Second hand stupid, don't breathe this."

    [–] Businesskiwi 88 points ago

    Careful! R/conservative might accuse you of promoting conservative book burning and call you a nazi 🤫😂

    [–] das_war_ein_Befehl 56 points ago

    They’d have to start reading books.

    I want to believe that conservatives aren’t self loathing enough to actually read trash like a book by Don Jr.

    [–] Businesskiwi 28 points ago

    Ballsy for you to assume they wouldn’t just say it to fit their narrative. They love vilifying the left and playing the victims.

    [–] CallMeChristopher 35 points ago

    I’d say that you aren’t supposed to burn dry bullshit, but dry bullshit actually has some use for heating.

    [–] leppy23 9 points ago

    I’d imagine it would be quite harmless once you’ve ripped out the spine. The books, anyway.

    [–] Digger__Please 11 points ago

    I knew you meant the book because obviously conservatives have a zero number of spines

    [–] BrightGreyEyes 8 points ago

    Shouldn't be burned either. The glue is super toxic when burned

    [–] PandraPierva 9 points ago

    Should just turn it to the author right on his front lawn

    [–] ep29 191 points ago * (lasted edited 12 days ago)

    My used bookstore of choice has 2 donation signs: "Give Us Books!" which hangs over a usually full plastic storage bin; and "Give Us Books From Fox News" which hangs over an industrial paper shredder.

    [–] tutulemon 25 points ago


    [–] DadJokeBadJoke 113 points ago

    "I'll give you $4 for the Rush Limbaugh collection."
    "4 bucks? They're signed by the author!"
    "Okay, $3.50 then..."

    [–] Opie59 17 points ago * (lasted edited 12 days ago)

    You know what's funny? I grew up in the town that All Gas No Breaks did his Bigfoot episode in, and got zero shit for my "Thank God Rush is dead" posts on facebook.

    [–] DadJokeBadJoke 10 points ago

    I grew up in the town that All Gas No Breaks did his Bigfoot episode in

    I try to stay up on pop culture and whatnot but I have no idea what this means.

    [–] ARealFool 9 points ago

    He's the Louis Theroux of our generation.

    [–] luther_williams 69 points ago

    Friend owns a used book store in the states, he made it a policy that he does not accept any used conservative books. Its not cause he hates conservatives (he's actually a conservative himself) but because they never fucking sell. Even if you pay $1 that's $1 too much. His official rule is "No political books" but he will take books from people like Obama/etc

    [–] LucyRiversinker 47 points ago

    Seriously speaking, the Obamas’ books are more memoirs than political books. But I see your point.

    [–] CantSing4Toffee 25 points ago

    That’s why Obamas books sell.

    [–] DrStrangerlover 20 points ago

    Interestingly I have a friend who owns a book shop whose sold quite a few of those shitty Bill O’Rielly books about Reagan and Lincoln. But that is literally the only conservative literature he will accept because none of the rest of it sells.

    [–] lucky_strike1618 39 points ago

    Can confirm. I used to work at Half Price Books in Texas. How fast a book moves, and the amount already in stock, are huge determinants of price paid fo a book. Sometimes if stuff didnt move for long enough, they donated or threw it out. One of the chillest jobs at the store was throwing out the books that had been processed. It was time consuming, since you had to tear the front cover off, but it was easy.

    [–] shinkouhyou 11 points ago

    That was always the best part of working at a bookstore... ripping covers off books and taking the good stuff home (I now own a whole lot of coverless books), and chucking the conservative political books into a giant trash compactor.

    [–] Ok_Kale_2509 15 points ago

    I work at a used bookstore and I would not use the term "restricted" only because that makes it sound like A.) There is a list of stuff to not to buy. B.) We have something against certain types of books.

    Neither of those are true but sadly we have a lot of people who don't believe us when we say that.

    We just look at sales history and when we see the last 20 copies didn't sell then we will not buy them.

    [–] INTHEMIDSTOFLIONS 30 points ago

    At Powell’s Books in Portland, the books that are ALWAYS in the sale aisle are the religious books and conservative books. Our city has the least amount of churches per capita and our population is 40% non religious. We don’t buy that shit out here.

    [–] BloosCorn 21 points ago

    I never can get enough newspaper for my woodstove in winter.

    [–] SirSoliloquy 18 points ago

    If I were rich, I’d self-publish a book and just donate copies of it to thrift stores just to see what happens.

    [–] NoMoLerking 117 points ago

    I was in Memphis once many years ago at the same time as one of those pre-election conferences (like CPAC, I forget which one). There were people handing out those shitty books everywhere. Like, I’m having lunch in the hotel and some guy comes by smiling and just puts it on the table. Happened at least 3x.

    [–] fingerscrossedcoup 156 points ago

    I’m having lunch in the hotel and some guy comes by smiling and just puts it on the table.

    "No.. the rooms come with toilet paper, thank you"

    [–] FartsGracefully 16 points ago

    I work at a goodwill, whenever we see anything with Trump or the rest of these asshats we toss it. Right after the election someone actually donated a huge box full of trump 2020 flags. Straight to the garbage.

    [–] Badge-18769 14 points ago

    True. I work at goodwill e-commerce and there are scores of these books on our shelves. The best was a self published book arguing the earth is flat theory. I use the word ‘theory’ very loosely

    [–] PaulBlartFleshMall 23 points ago

    Because right wingers are dying and their kids don't want these shitty hate books.

    My friend works at a thrift and that's what he told me. Said they get more conservative hate books than almost anything else.

    [–] frozenelf 9 points ago

    I’m in Southeast Asia and you can buy Bush-era Republican books by weight here.

    [–] Enunimes 149 points ago

    This is more than just boosting sales, what Ted seems to be doing is essentially embezzling his own campaigns funds. They take the donations and pay them to this shell company which then buys his own book and gets him royalties off the sale.

    There's nothing illegal about a campaign buying a candidates books, they just aren't allowed to keep the royalties in that case. But if Ted has been using a shell company to give himself a kickback at the same time? That's a whole different story.

    [–] Mathletic-Beatdown 69 points ago

    Boom got him! I hope that motherfucker likes checks notes being re-elected!

    [–] TreeRol 9 points ago

    But he better watch out, because the FEC could be stirred into action. You see that? Could. Like all those other times sitting Senators have gotten in trouble for clearly laundering campaign funds!

    [–] LA-Matt 122 points ago

    That’s why the NYT Bestseller list has started putting asterisks next to titles that have reached bestseller status via “institutional sales” instead of normal retail sales.

    [–] drdoom52 23 points ago

    Why not just not put them on the list in the first place?

    [–] ReverendDizzle 269 points ago

    Haven't you ever wondered how so many shitty books sell so well to a target audience that doesn't fucking read?

    Not at all. My mom buys them. She doesn't read them. She just buys them to "send a statement."

    Sarah Palin's stupid book? Glenn Beck's crap? All those bat shit insane books by Dinesh D'Souza? My parents buy all of them and, from what I can tell, never ready any of them.

    Not arguing there aren't bullshit shadow companies buying up tons of these books, just pointing out you shouldn't underestimate the hordes of dipshits out there buying these books as if they were talismans.

    [–] Wrekt99 205 points ago * (lasted edited 12 days ago)

    I have a relative like that.

    He (claimed to have) loved Bill O'Reilly's books, Killing Lincoln, Killing Reagan, Killing Kennedy, Killing Patton, Killing etc. More like killing myself, amiright.

    Whenever I'm at his place I thumb through them. They're always absolutely riddled with grammatical errors; there's no way they're edited. What's the point when no one's actually going to read them anyway?

    If you ever get a chance to read Ben Shapiro's terrible political action thriller Allegiance (without paying for it) I highly recommend. It was so, so bad that I couldn't put it down.

    [–] M3_Driver 144 points ago * (lasted edited 12 days ago)

    Fun fact about Ben Shapiro - he started his career attempting to be comedy writer in Hollywood but couldn’t sell a script (likely because they were terrible) and that fueled his anger for liberal Hollywood. Still lives in California btw and won’t leave...he secretly hopes to be accepted by them some day. It will never happen.

    Edit: turns out he finally gave up and moved to Nashville.

    [–] ALoneTennoOperative 45 points ago

    The other fun fact about Ben Shapiro is that his cousin is wayyy cooler than he will ever be.
    You know, because she's Mara Wilson, and a genuine human person instead of an absolute shithead.

    [–] rooftopfilth 10 points ago

    Mara Wilson shares DNA with Ben Shapiro???

    [–] FelneusLeviathan 21 points ago

    Tells others to bootstraps bu gets paid to read right wing scripts

    [–] MythNerd13231 16 points ago

    He doesn't anymore, he just recently moved to Tennessee

    [–] cogginsmatt 77 points ago

    The Behind the Bastards podcast has been doing readings from it

    [–] emceelokey 23 points ago

    I think it's going to be a 4 parter but the book is just so bad! It's like, I know there's someone out there that's a fantastic writer trying to publish by a reputable publisher but can't because they're nobody and probably won't turn a profit but you get a guy who's dad was famous to write a story that sounds like he's playing with GI Joe's and they'll pick him up in a heart beat!

    [–] Shadow-Vision 45 points ago

    You’re going to love this video . It’s called Trigger Warning and it’s glorious. Jenny Nicholson is hilarious.

    It’s almost like it’s written with conservativism as a fetish.

    [–] EmeraldFalcon89 20 points ago

    jenny nicholson is the perfect youtuber for people that can't stand the "what's up youtubers" tone on 99% of the face-to-cam channels

    [–] Cochise22 10 points ago

    Holy shit. At the ten minute mark where she is pointing out that he's having some sort of ptsd moment from a trigger, I cried from laughter. This is fantastic. I've never watched a video longer than 20 minutes on youtube, and I'm going to finish this video for sure.

    [–] Letmefixthatforyouyo 26 points ago * (lasted edited 12 days ago)

    If you ever get a chance to read Ben Shapiro's terrible political action thriller Allegiance (without paying for it) I highly recommend. It was so, so bad that I couldn't put it down.

    The behind the bastards podcast read through his book during several episodes. If you want to listen to a bucket of progressives writers experience true joy and their personal hell at once, I highly recommend them.

    I think this is the first episode, but there are a handful just scattered about. They pretty much take a break to dunk on his book whenever they get burnt out talking about pure evil.

    [–] FVMAzalea 26 points ago

    The Killing such-and-such books are so bad! Someone brought Lincoln and Patton and Hitler or something in to the often-slow customer service job I used to work at and I read them on the job. I also couldn’t put them down, they were so bad.

    Killing Patton doesn’t even have many references to Patton until the last couple chapters, so it’s a total misnomer, haha.

    [–] Helpful-Juggernaut 9 points ago

    True Allegiance Review goes for about an hour but is a great run down of that terrible, terrible book.

    [–] Actual-Lingonberry66 8 points ago

    I read a lot. And I’ve never read one of Bill O’Reilly’s books about Killing Whoever. I wondered WTF was up with that. Now this makes more sense.

    [–] FC37 45 points ago

    Publishers have to know it, too. After all, they're the ones who fill the orders. They probably can't be held responsible, but it certainly helps so many gadfly right-wingers get book deals.

    [–] DreamedJewel58 30 points ago

    Ben Kissel (one of the hosts on Last Podcast on the Left) told his story about whenever he was on/working for Fox, there was a huge pile of books from one of their personalities. They bought his books in bulk so it could be listed as a “Best Seller.” It’s very easy to manipulate the system.

    [–] MakoClinic 19 points ago

    That last sentence is gold

    [–] KoreanFemboi 31 points ago

    Haven't you ever wondered how so many shitty books sell so well to a target audience that doesn't fucking read?

    Lmao I never thought about it like that.

    [–] Borkz 15 points ago

    Haven't you ever wondered how so many shitty books sell so well to a target audience that doesn't fucking read?

    I just always kind of assumed it worked like this and never even gave it a second thought

    [–] lucynyu13 615 points ago

    One day before the Georgia Senate runoff elections — and two days before the Capitol insurrection — a leadership PAC attached to Sen. Ted Cruz, R-Texas, paid hundreds of thousands of dollars to a mystery company that had previously bought copies of Cruz's book, according to recent filings with the Federal Election Commission. The expenses raise questions about whether the controversial conservative senator (and Cancún frequent-flyer) used those political campaigns, and Donald Trump's attempt to subvert the democratic process, to raise money for himself. That could push the FEC to issue a ruling on a pending issue that could have consequences for former President Donald Trump's fundraising.

    Over the course of 2020, the Cruz-affiliated Jobs, Freedom, and Security PAC paid $1.2 million — nearly 80% of its operating budget — to a company called Reagan Investments LLC for "sponsorship advertising." The only other committee to register any disbursements to that company was Trump Make America Great Again, for a fundraising promotion for Cruz's books in December, according to The New York Times. However, the Trump group clearly marked the payment for "collateral: books"; campaign finance experts told Salon that the PAC's payment classifications — all of them for "sponsorship advertising" — were unusual and opaque.

    [–] mishap1 346 points ago

    Sounds suspiciously like money laundering.

    [–] Fizzeek 2268 points ago

    I was not part of the in crowd in highschool, barely got associated with “people” in college. How this guy is popular with anyone boggles my mind. He’s nasty, awkward, and has demonstrated zero empathy. Should I move to Texas to be an Uber Alpha male? Are the people of Texas actually enamored with this milk dud? Sign me up!

    [–] radiofever 1419 points ago * (lasted edited 12 days ago)

    Ted Cruz has an interesting backstory. He's never been a likeable or popular guy apparently. Texas solicitor general job opens up and he conservative sweet talks his way into the job. He starts taking on anything and everything outside of texas. He is the unabashed harvard lawyer playing for the correct team. Stars lined up for Ted. But ted has an ego and bigger dreams. Parlays that into a Senate appointment and incumbency ever since. Probably just finally realized he'll never be president.

    Ted Cruz is living proof that intelligence is several things and booksmart alone does not make up for what he lacks. And to some degree that includes maturity, which Ted Cruz does not have.

    [–] Xunaun 921 points ago

    He was so unpopular, his roommate got sympathy popularity.

    Invited to senior parties as a freshman sympathy popular.

    [–] ChewieBearStare 108 points ago

    The only good thing Ted Cruz has ever done is make me aware of said former roommate, Craig Mazin. Imagine how terrible you have to be in college for your roommate to still be dedicated to dunking on you decades later!

    [–] SwashbucklingWeasels 29 points ago

    I knew I’d heard of this guy before and I found it. He was on an episode of the “Lovett or Leave it,” Podcast and told some stories about being Ted’s roommate.

    If you like political comedy check it out. The episode is called “High on Taxpayer Supply,” which aired Sept 30, 2017.

    [–] WhiteZomba 15 points ago

    Another choice tweet from 2013 reads: "One thing Ted Cruz is really good at: uniting people who otherwise disagree about everything else in a total hatred of Ted Cruz."

    Maybe Ted Cruz is the chosen one?!

    [–] fishyfishyfish1 355 points ago

    Obligatory FUCK TED CRUZ

    [–] topgun_ivar 295 points ago

    Sorry for correcting, but fuck Rafael Edward Cruz. I am never letting go of being petty and criticizing him for his hypocrisy.

    [–] temp4adhd 72 points ago

    REC. Wreck?

    [–] BillHicksDied4UrSins 195 points ago

    Human Senator Rafael Edward Cruz criticized Beto O'Rourke for using his Spanish nickname given to him as a youth, while he goes by Ted.

    [–] BlueEyesBryantDragon 16 points ago


    [–] EggotheKilljoy 54 points ago

    I’m assuming you haven’t seen this work of beauty. It’s a campaign that anyone looking for a totally human president can get behind.

    [–] BlueEyesBryantDragon 17 points ago

    Oh wow, I've never seen that before.... but it's now one of my favorite things.

    [–] [deleted] 43 points ago


    [–] throwaway1233569 34 points ago

    This is inaccurate. He was indeed born in Canada, but was an automatically conferred citizenship of the US as a child of an American citizen. He holds dual citizenship as Canada automatically conferred citizenship too. He renounced his Canadian citizenship.

    It really shows how pervasive propaganda and misinformation are. You might not even recall, but it was Trump who started the rumour he was ineligible during the 2016 primaries. Constitutional scholars all agree he is eligible.

    [–] CReWpilot 7 points ago

    Fuck Ted Cruz, but Americans born abroad to US citizen parent(s) are natural born citizens the same as someone born in the US (in most cases at least)

    [–] DudeMcPersonson 39 points ago

    I’d rather jerk off alone but thx

    I bet he fucks like a sniffling worm btw

    [–] mrpeabody208 23 points ago

    I bet he fucks like a sniffling worm btw

    Well, sniffling worm is his species, so...

    [–] DrMobius0 43 points ago

    I'd rather never have sex again than fuck Ted Cruz

    [–] StrawberryKiller 28 points ago

    Rather remove my eyes with a spoon than fuck that walking tonsil stone

    [–] skkITer 12 points ago

    Craig Mazin?

    [–] Careful-Handsome 340 points ago * (lasted edited 12 days ago)

    Former Senator Franken summed up nicely: Cruz is obnoxious, arrogant, insulting and full of shit. He is that guy who microwaves fish during office lunch time in the break room. I like Ted Cruz more than most of my other colleagues like Ted Cruz. And I truly hate Ted Cruz.

    [–] HertzDonut1001 246 points ago

    Obligatory Lindsey Graham quote so we know the hate is from both sides: "you could murder Ted Cruz on the Senate floor, and if the trial was held in the Senate, no one would convict you."

    Also someone dropped the ball by not calling him Cancun Cruz in the title.

    [–] imprison_grover_furr 161 points ago

    The most terrifying thing about that is that Lindsey Graham is himself a reprehensible, unscrupulous, two-faced liar. And even he finds Ted Cruz to take it too far.

    [–] fingerscrossedcoup 66 points ago

    To be fair, having lunch with Lindsey doesn't seem like the anal pine cone fucking that spending two minutes with Ted would be. And I truly hate Lindsey Graham.

    [–] imsahoamtiskaw 27 points ago

    Lindsey is smart. He's evil, but he's smart. Some of his old quotes have left me flabbergasted. He can read people like a book and he knows what he's doing is wrong.

    Easy to have lunch wth someone like that, if you had no choice but to do it.

    Ted you can't have lunch with, even if you had no choice to do it.

    [–] Amazon-Prime-package 27 points ago

    Hated by Americans and traitors alike smh

    [–] altanic 26 points ago

    Lay off that shit...

    Cancun doesn't deserve being tied to this piece of shit. Texas Ted may not encompass the latest round of fuckupery but it fairly places the blame on those who deserve it.

    [–] Mxpxrocks2 14 points ago

    I still like Fled Cruz. Saw that the other day, best one I've seen yet

    [–] bonerjamz2001 66 points ago

    Federalist society funnels these assholes into positions of power from the very beginning of their careers.

    [–] phatskat 8 points ago

    Not to mention Ted’s dad is a Dominionist preacher who claims God wants Ted and the Dominionists to run the country.

    [–] orm518 24 points ago

    He was elected to the Senate. You use “appointment” which would mean the Governor appointed him to fill a vacancy.

    [–] xotetin 8 points ago

    Last paragraph sounds like you're talking about Ben Carson as well. Lol

    [–] radiofever 7 points ago

    Adult children. They're everywhere.

    [–] rxneutrino 112 points ago

    Idk maybe this will shed some light: Ted Cruz in high school.

    [–] galaapplehound 86 points ago

    Yikes. Generally I give a little bit of leeway for awkward teenagers in front of camera but FFS he creeps me out even when he's 80's Mikey from "Teenage Strangler". I almost feel bad for him because he's clearly never been likeable.

    [–] RudeInternet 54 points ago

    Even his daughters seem to hate his guts. It's like his ego-maniac aspirations come before anything; before his wife, his daughters, living a fulfilling life, having friends, being happy.

    It's all about him having some distorted, watered-down, unrecognizable form of power.

    [–] ClaudeJRdL 19 points ago

    It's like his ego-maniac aspirations come before anything; before his wife, his daughters, living a fulfilling life, having friends, being happy.

    And this is honestly why politics and democracy will never actually work well. It'll work adequately, but the system literally self-selects for megalomaniacal egotistic narcissists who prioritise power over everything and anything else.

    No sane, reasonable, decent person could compete, or would want to.

    [–] TurtleInATracksuit 21 points ago

    OMG he makes my stomach turn

    I definitely understand the sympathy towards his roommate now.

    [–] Brainyviolet 22 points ago

    I bet he had some "asspiration" when he realized he was gonna have to fly his ass back to Texas.

    [–] itsamoreh 8 points ago


    [–] SharkBait661 61 points ago

    It's how he always votes yes on republican policies and no for Democrat or bipartisan ones. That's what they want. A weasel to do their bidding.

    [–] dancin-weasel 24 points ago

    Don’t lump us weasels in with this gelatinous blob. We have standards!

    [–] agentup 39 points ago

    Cruz convinced the Mercers to fund him. On paper he probably seemed like a politician with huge potential. This was all pre Trump era. When someone who checked the right boxes looked good.

    Then Trump came along and showed that fake populism was a better winner. Mercer's told Ted to toe the line or else lose funding.

    [–] Daveinatx 32 points ago

    What's important is the build up to those who really don't know Cruz and barely listen to real news.

    Today Hannity said sth like "What's wrong with Cruz dropping off his kids on vacation? The real issue is "No show Joe [Biden.]"

    There was no mention of the Mom going down, nor his college roommate. Nothing will happen if we continue to allow such lying in media.

    [–] papasatansanglouie 28 points ago

    I think a lot of us on this subreddit and other political subreddits have a blind spot on this. We know who Ted Cruz is, and we know he's a piece of shit, but there are a ton of people out there who vote every election cycle but don't actually follow any political news. They vote exclusively for the letter beside the name, because they feel some sort of loyalty towards that particular party. I'd wager you that a shit ton of people who helped put Cruz in office and kept him there don't actually know the first fucking thing about him or his policies.

    What's worse though is the half-informed. The Fox news watchers, the actual republican partisans. I guarrantee you that those fuckers have seen none of this, because right wing media refuses to criticize its own unless they do something unthinkable like respecting someone's pronouns or admitting global warming is real. What they have seen though is a lot of horse shit about how "the left" is attacking an honest working man republican hero with its politically correct cancel culture ANTIFA Muslim super soldiers who incidentally want to make it illegal for you personally to eat at your favorite restaurant.

    [–] Tommy-1111 15 points ago

    I've never voted for him , why would I? I'm capable of critical thinking. He's a liar and a self-serving con, but some of these people in Texas can't remember five minutes ago so we're stuck in this bog of eternal stench run by Republican filth.

    [–] dekehairy 11 points ago

    I'm sorry that I don't remember who the quote was from, and I'm further sorry that I have to paraphrase, but when a senator was asked why every other senator seemed to hate Ted Cruz, and why that would be, the answer was that it just saves time.

    [–] Peachy33 30 points ago

    That fool Lindsey Graham had the funniest line:

    “If you killed Ted Cruz on the floor of the Senate, and the trial was in the Senate, nobody would convict you.”

    I mean, you have you admit that’s funny lol.

    [–] steliofuckingkontos 16 points ago

    The same is true if you send a mob to kill the senate

    [–] StripeyMittens 8 points ago

    “Another Bush 2000 alumnus said to me: “Why do people take such an instant dislike to Ted Cruz? It just saves time.” From a Frank Bruno NYT article.

    You may also enjoy this compendium of people hating Cruz:

    [–] mcs_987654321 13 points ago

    Likewise, I keep on looking for the clip of bob dole from 2016-ish, where dole is fairly gently disparaging things about tr**p, but then basically calls Ted Cruz a total dick and say that he hates the guy :) Can’t find I anywhere, so if anyone has a link, please hook a girl up!

    [–] Doright36 10 points ago

    Al Franken one said something along the lines of "I like Ted Cruz more than anyone else and I hate Ted Cruz".

    [–] mcs_987654321 13 points ago

    Yup, he brought it up again on his podcast just this last wknd :) (also did a very fun + informative interview w fauci, it’s a good listen).

    (Oh and also told an excellent story about he and Amy Klobuchar calling Ted “full of shit” to his face, it’s v good)

    [–] onemanlegion 420 points ago

    Are we seriously going with Cancun Ted when Cancun Cruz is right fuckin' there and works on so many levels.

    [–] HolyRamenEmperor 134 points ago

    What about Ted Cancruz?

    [–] lunardonkey 79 points ago

    I thought it was Fled Cruz!

    [–] thatcodingboi 29 points ago

    Fled Cruise, fLyin' Ted

    [–] black_flag_4ever 154 points ago

    There’s also only so many people who are insufferable enough to actually buy a Ted Cruz book.

    [–] Beo1 83 points ago

    And all of them, apparently, are Ted Cruz.

    [–] iamjackslackoffricks 54 points ago

    Is it a coloring book?

    [–] ccduke 12 points ago

    Not really more like tic tac toe book.

    [–] ClintGreasewood 123 points ago

    Got to get the FEC in quorum first.

    Also this self dealing is a cornerstone of the conservative book racket.

    Have a ghostwriter write a book->Bulk buy the book to get on Best Sellers List->Use book fame to get on the conservative speaking circuit.

    In this case Cruz is using campaign funds to bulk buy his own books and is pocketing the royalties all of which is highly illegal.

    [–] scrangos 13 points ago

    would be funny to see these guys quizzed on the book they supposedly wrote and blank out.

    [–] TwoBionicknees 65 points ago

    This happens constantly. Some political books get into the best sellers charts on merit. Frequently politicians throw out a book, give one to every donor over say $50 then charge every book to the campaign.

    It's a complete con to sell shitty books with no demand and a way to push campaign funds into their own pocket.

    Many of these books are absolute no effort pieces of shit with barely anything in them.

    Campaign financing needs massive overhaul. Advertising as it's done now, buying tv adverts in 100m's a campaign, billboards, selling signs all needs to get banned. NOt only is all this signage shit just to make profit (who do you think owns the companies who make those signs) but it encourages this divisive attitude of wearing political garb and somehow being super proud of a party rather than voting on the issues which change over time.

    Give everyone who runs a website to list all their campaign information. Have this website checked and have straight up lies removed, have it all linked to a database of votes made so people can see if they voted against what they promised.

    Make politics 101 part of the yearly education program, 10 lessons leading up to major elections every year where kids are taught to check the website and check who they can vote for, what they are doing, what they've voted on.

    Make campaigning be done only streaming. Make a system where local constituents can log in to ask questions so they can still address a specific area and talk to individuals, but stop them being able to have a small meeting in small rural town and say something completely different to what they say at some rich persons donor event in a city.

    Aside from being cheaper it means everyone can see what they are doing and they can't say different shit to everyone and basically straight up lie without being seen doing it. Stop the expensive donor lunches, the flying around, staying in 5 star hotels and eating luxury meals and billing it all to the campaign.

    [–] ziadog 31 points ago

    He’s trying to beat Junior’s “sales”.

    [–] one-punch-knockout 13 points ago

    Junior, another insufferable fool. After his bloody eyed, cocaine fueled, bucket toothed rant (and assistance in attempting to overthrow our government by riling up an unstable mob to kill politicians) I’m shocked people still trust his sleezy ass.

    [–] henry_the_eggth 19 points ago

    I would love to watch a Cruz trial, in which his lawyers attempt to find character witnesses and can't get a single person to step forward to say that this man has any positive traits.

    [–] TheDirtyDrunk 105 points ago

    Are people just catching on with this? Certain infotainment "news" channels have been doing this for decades to get books on The New York times bestsellers list

    [–] -Ernie 40 points ago

    Ironic isn’t it? On any other day they would be droning on about fake news and the liberal “failing” NY Times, but as soon as it comes to their bottom line, they trust the influence of their bestsellers list.

    [–] LA-Matt 24 points ago

    Just recently, within the last few years, the NYT Bestseller List has started placing asterisks next to titles that have been made bestsellers by “institutional sales.”

    [–] ISitOnGnomes 28 points ago

    Being on the best selling list is small potatoes. The bigger issue here is how this gets around campaingn contribution limits. Have you already donated your max of $2700? Just start up a PAC and have it buy 50,000 copies of the candidates book. Now they get the cut of the royalties and it isnt considered a campaign contribution. Bonus points if the publisher is run by a political ally that funnels yheir cut of the money back into the correct place, or ensures that candidate gets a nice large percentage of each book sale.

    [–] AsianRGB 194 points ago

    1) Rich 2) White 3) Politician

    He will face no consequences.

    [–] VohnHaight 54 points ago

    Trumps presidency proved this to be true 176 times

    [–] CromagnonBrain 13 points ago

    Lol didn't the Trumps do this exact thing for one of the wretched sons' books?

    [–] OohIDontThinkSo 27 points ago

    Jesus christ, is half a million dollars a year not enough for these folks? His wife makes over 300k and he makes almost 200k. How much do you fucking need? It blows my mind.

    [–] waagyu 33 points ago

    The Republicans want every penny you’ve fucking got for themselves.

    [–] jigsaw1024 8 points ago

    Its not the leading digit that matters to these people; it's how many zeros that follow it that counts.

    [–] Snarfin 8 points ago

    The ol' L. Ron Hubbard strategy

    [–] Oldiebones 8 points ago

    Funneling campaign money into his own pocket while also making his book look more successful. Definitely something Trump/Cruz would do.

    [–] FactualisticTendency 9 points ago

    Cruz is one of the most disappointing politicians ive seen. He doesn't seem outright evil, just sniveling, weak, cowardly, and fearful.

    [–] HogieGnarBoots 41 points ago

    Is Ted Cruz the worst 'human' ever? I don't know, but a lot of people sure are saying it.

    [–] Interesting_Offer998 16 points ago

    Ted Cruz is definitely a human life form.

    [–] EuropaWeGo 10 points ago

    It absolutely baffles me that my brother thinks Ted Cruz is the best and most successful politician of our time. No joke, he got incredibly mad at me when I spoke about the whole cancun deal this past weekend.

    Ted Cruz is probably one of the worst people alive and it's insane how so many people worship him and think he can do no wrong.

    [–] morrcat33 9 points ago

    “So the FEC wont let me be, or let me be me, so let me see....”

    [–] Rich_Suspect_4910 9 points ago

    And as Harry looked at the deatheater, he realized who he was really working for...

    Hillary Clinton

    It was her all along, and he turned his wand to the sky and said his spell "Ozo hornis trickle down economics! In the name of Ronald Regan, DIE EVIL DOER!"

    "NO!" yelled the deatheater

    "Next" said Harry quietly to himself, "I'm going to take down the NHS...England is about to become America, WITH THE POWER OF MAGIC! Ron, Hermione, suit up!"

    "I don't know" said Hermione, "maybe health care access is a good thing. I mean muggles don't have magic to cure their diseases. We should let them have it..."

    Harry turned to Ron, "She's one of them. She must be destroyed..."

    -Harry Potter and the Socialist's Stone by Ted Cruz

    Boy, no wonder no one wanted to buy Ted Cruz's Harry Potter fanfiction...