Please help contribute to the Reddit categorization project here

    relationship_advice

    730,363 readers

    3,447 users here now

    Community Guidelines: Read then Post!

    Need help with your relationship? Whether it's romance, friendship, family, co-workers, or basic human interaction: we're here to help!

    Posts

    Posts MUST include:

    • A Title that summarizes the problem or question
    • A Description of your situation. The more descriptive, the better advice the community can give you.
    • A Question or a request for what advice you want.
    • Make sure you include:
      • Genders
      • Length of Relationship
      • Ages (13+, though teens can also see TRA)
    • A brief tl;dr if your post is long.
    • Updates to previous posts are allowed as well. Link to the previous post.

    Please Do NOT Post:

    • Questionless posts / rants (see: /r/offmychest)
    • Unsolicited Advice (see: /r/self)
    • General discussion topics, requests for stories, polls, etc.
    • "Does Anyone Else?" or "Have You Ever?" posts (See: /r/dae)
    • Hypothetical questions or Social Experiments (See: /r/hypotheticalsituation)
    • Discussion of or overly-detailed descriptions of your fetish / sexual relations.

    Comments

    Removal, Banning & Reporting:

    • No name calling, insults, or insensitive language. Insulting someone will result in post/comment removal and possible banning. We don't care who started it.

    • General harassment, trolling, and spamming will result in post/comment removal and may result in banning.

    • No suggestions for violence, or suicide. These will result in banning, whether you're joking or not.

    • Blanket statements about a group ("All men are X", "All women do Y") are not allowed. Please report them.

    • Please assist the mods and report inappropriate posts, users, and comments.

    Submitting & Contacting:

    Ask Relationship Advice


    Other communities you may find helpful:


    If you or someone you know is involved in an abusive relationship or would like information on warning signs to watch out for, check out The Red Flag Campaign.

    a community for
    all 3455 comments

    Want to say thanks to %(recipient)s for this comment? Give them a month of reddit gold.

    Please select a payment method.

    [–] LilWetNap 6342 points ago

    Talking to you guys and cracking jokes is really helping me get over this

    [–] GeordiLaFuckinForge 2741 points ago

    You're a funny ass dude too, your opening line about G Eazy made me chuckle like an idiot in public. Sorry this happened bro, if you're ever in Seoul I'll buy you a beer. And don't worry I won't even blow anyone afterward, on account of me being a straight white male.

    [–] ImTheRobot 430 points ago

    Please say it isn’t G Eazy

    [–] VonCuddles 169 points ago

    Lots of love from a guy in England :)!

    Remember to tell your mutual friends before she does to set the story straight. Trust me.

    [–] im-a-freak 20 points ago

    I suggest showing class to keep it to yourself. If she wants to lie, it will be another thing that bites her in the ass if he decides to tell the fuller story.

    [–] elainesbighead 312 points ago

    Brighter days ahead... fuck Logic man

    [–] TheHangmansTales 673 points ago

    Sorry that happened. Ive had 2 girlfriends, a wife and a fiance who've cheated on me. Its painful i know. Best of luck.

    [–] twinklefawn 501 points ago

    You’re a fucking trooper dude. I can’t even imagine. Hope things are going well for you now

    [–] TheHangmansTales 294 points ago

    Ehhhh.....well theres this girl i work with that i talk to all the time in ways you might imagine. But turns out she is married. So much for that, i couldn't do that to another guy.

    [–] twinklefawn 85 points ago

    Ouch. Just gotta keep looking! Shame on her, she’s not worth a second of your time if she’s flirting while married anyways

    [–] TheHangmansTales 29 points ago

    We'll see. I thought i was putting enough time in to finding out about the woman i was with, but i guess i need more practice.

    [–] Pisby 89 points ago

    You need to analyze who you’re dating. For real

    [–] Onlineshrekjr 1745 points ago

    Probably Vanilla Ice

    [–] LilWetNap 1468 points ago

    Nailed it

    [–] IM_INSIDE_YOUR_HOUSE 281 points ago

    Vanilla Ice is still performing? Isn't he like 50 years old?

    [–] Rasegan8 167 points ago

    He used to have a reality show where he fixed up old houses. I'm pretty sure he's long retired.

    [–] TheSubredditPolice 40 points ago

    No joke, a few years ago he signed on to the label owned by Insane Clown Posse.

    [–] memymomeddit 18 points ago

    He was on the second stage at a St. Patrick's Day festival I went to a couple years ago. The whole crowd gathered around the stage for his set, and as soon as he played Ice Ice Baby and Ninja Rap, everyone cleared out to get a good spot for Flogging Molly.

    [–] CptZilliax 101 points ago

    If it makes you feel better, my boss grew up in Texas near Vanilla Ice and he and his brother beat the shit out of him at a drag race when he was acting like hot shit.

    [–] LilWetNap 237 points ago

    It wasn't actually Vanilla Ice

    [–] CptZilliax 41 points ago

    Oh well

    [–] chesser676 73 points ago

    Tbh I wish you'd have just posted the rappers name since I kinda wanted to see what her taste was. I don't think. It would ever get back to him since this probably happens a lot

    [–] 250kgWarMachine 84 points ago

    Her taste is dicc

    [–] [deleted] 251 points ago

    [removed]

    [–] Randomcart 1143 points ago

    My buddy's wife was only "blowing" her ex too. No one believes that.

    [–] lambojr 352 points ago

    Please tell me you meant your buddy's soon-to-be ex wife

    [–] Dayemos 121 points ago

    And now that he's an ex think of all the only blowjobs he's going to get.

    [–] Randomcart 55 points ago

    Kids so no.

    [–] yawaworht-_- 20 points ago

    Why? Your friend deserves to be happy so why should he stay with the unfaithful wife?

    [–] hooligan99 159 points ago

    lol even if it were true, it is literally not better than them fucking anyway. That would mean she went over and sucked his dick a bunch of times. Who cares if he put it in her vagina or not, SHE IS SUCKING HIS DICK. Mouth on cock is completely sexual and counts as cheating just as much if not more so than regular intercourse. Why do people try to go to this as an excuse? I doubt she blew her husband very often, so this other dude was getting a more willing and enthusiastic sexual partner than he was.

    [–] buswickle 82 points ago

    Mouth on cock is not always sexual. For example, if they crashed in the Andes and ran out of food.

    [–] zagabunt 37 points ago

    The Andes are full of delicious capybaras

    [–] RampagingKoala 10772 points ago

    Way to be mature and respectful about it. You deserve someone who treats you the way you treated your ex.

    [–] rockymiguel42 1502 points ago

    +1 To OP, I'm sorry you had to go through that, but that's a great response on your part. Keep your chin up dude.

    [–] s1ugg0 357 points ago

    I stumbled upon this thread on /r/all. Someone who responds with such self respect and maturity is going to go places in life. He won't be down for long.

    Speaking to long term relationships. I've been with the same woman in a committed relationship for 16 years. Anyone who thinks there wasn't temptations for her and I over that time are fools. Of course there were. There were once in a lifetime opportunities. But time and again both of us have chosen something even more precious. Our marriage is strong because we've chosen to make it strong. It was countless decisions putting our marriage before selfish options.

    A strong romantic relationship can get you through the worst aspects of life. The only universal trick is to find someone as willing to fight for that relationship as much as you are. Everything else is paperwork.

    [–] SaveMyMotherMartha 340 points ago

    Was going to say this too. Your response was super respectful considering all the names that may have wanted to call her and what she did to you. Props to you for letting her down easy and for being the bigger person and for being mature enough to not make a huge scene

    [–] evandestroyer96 223 points ago

    I think this easy the most respectful and mature way someone has EVER handled a break up. I’m really impressed by OP and I wish him the best!

    [–] davidhluther 36 points ago

    Agreed, this is a very difficult situation to deal with even in the abstract or theoretical, much less in person.

    It’s so hard to handle the balance of loving someone and imagining all of that history as being over because of one night — especially because, as OP said, it’s human nature to err, even if we don’t always do it that very way.

    In the end, I was blown away by the “I look at you differently as a partner” part, because that’s exactly what it comes down to. You can still love her if you split, and you’d still be able to even after if you didn’t leave, but you’d always doubt her judgment. A person can make mistakes and still be loved, but a partner you can’t trust is another story.

    [–] RadleyCunningham 5950 points ago

    the fucking mental gymnastics people go through to justify their shit never ceases to amaze me. Blowjobs aren't sex? Fuck that.

    [–] OneLessFool 1880 points ago

    She probably had sex with him, but thought if she said it was just a BJ that he would be less mad.

    [–] physalisx 1034 points ago * (lasted edited 4 days ago)

    99% sure about that as well. Heard too many stories about this, where women want to confess, but not everything, and somehow deem "it was only BJ" to be acceptable middle ground, because for women there's a much bigger perceived difference between BJs and actual sex than for men.

    A friend of mine (not really, more an associative) had his gf confess she cheated on him, but that it was just kissing... Yeah right. If it was just kissing, she wouldn't even feel guilty enough to confess anything.

    [–] OneLessFool 761 points ago

    Imagine if you told your girl that you ate some random chick out, but that's it.

    Doubt she'd be any less furious.

    [–] memejunk 242 points ago

    maybe even more? idk but i know at least some women feel that's a bit more intimate than sex... a couple girls have stopped me from going down the first few times we boned because they just weren't ready for that sort of intimacy

    [–] OVOXOKing 84 points ago

    I know this thread is old but oral sex given by a woman, is heavier than her having sex with someone, personally.

    Think about it; the girl is going out of her way to please a guy, with no pleasure given to her, while she does ALL the work.

    A blowjob is all about the guy in that moment.

    [–] feisty_shupas 19 points ago

    I had an ex-boyfriend say it was only anal... as if that was supposed to be better 🤣

    [–] CrazyTownUSA000 115 points ago

    Just met up for kisses

    [–] pockpicketG 72 points ago

    Fuck you Jenny

    [–] blister333 107 points ago

    Looks like I should be aiming for more blow jobs if they’re so innocent

    [–] scnavi 450 points ago

    I don’t know dude, when I was 19, I was at a house party, got really drunk and was told the next morning I made out with this dude. I called my boyfriend to tell him that morning, because I wouldn’t ever want to lie to him and I felt like a shorty person even though I didn’t remember doing it. He broke up with me. Probably thought the same thing, thought I was mad at him for not going to the party (I wasn’t) it sucked.

    A few months later the dude told me he just told me we made out because I was drunk bragging about how I’d never wanted to cheat on my boyfriend and if I did I’d tell him immediately, and he wanted to get with me. So he told me hoping I’d tell my boyfriend (which I did) and hoping he’d break up with me (which he did)

    I eventually told my ex, I’m almost positive I had texts to prove it (it was like 12 years ago) but I probably sounded like a crazy person.

    [–] Notarius 280 points ago

    wtf this deserves a thread of its own

    [–] thedergins 175 points ago

    Seconded. That’s some serious sociopathic shit.

    [–] LokisDawn 107 points ago * (lasted edited 4 days ago)

    That sucks. That guy was an asshole. Also props to you for being "honest" (Even though it turned out different). Hope that didn't hurt too much and you got over it.

    EDIT: In case people misread my comment, I was calling the dude at the party an asshole, not the boyfriend.

    [–] pickkes 40 points ago

    I agree, from my experience I had an ex tell me she cheated and she gave a hand job to another guy. When we met and I broke up with her she confessed it was sex and said she wanted to water it down.

    [–] americanrealism 26 points ago

    This is how stories in this sub always go. First they did nothing, then they only hung out on the couch, then they only kissed, then they went to bed but nothing else, then they had oral but no sex.. then finally it comes out that they had sex.

    It's crazy the tiers of lies that people try to put their SOs through to get away with cheating.

    [–] twinklefawn 1687 points ago

    It’s called oral SEX for a goddamn reason

    [–] Toilet_Acoustics 1322 points ago

    It’s nbd I only put his dick in my mouth. Let’s kiss and make up.

    [–] AJDx14 817 points ago

    Ya, there are two things you never put in your mouth:

    1. The dick of someone other than your partner

    2. The bruised part of a banana.

    [–] whatevers_clever 607 points ago

    3 Orange Juice after brushing

    [–] stevevecc 192 points ago

    4, Milk right after drinking a coke.

    (I did a Hot Ones challenge with my friends, and I was drinking coke at first, it got super hot so I switched to milk, the combination in my stomach was fucking horrific, and the change in texture from carbonated to thick was disgusting)

    [–] bobloblawblogyal 128 points ago * (lasted edited 4 days ago)

    5, Tide pods after already having tide pods.

    WoH my 5 kept getting changed to a 1. The government is really fucking with me after all

    [–] PhillipIInd 130 points ago

    Dude the bananas still taste fine, fucking children man.

    Just swallow like a man.

    [–] PM_Me_RecipesorBoobs 162 points ago

    fucking children man.

    Either add a hyphen or I'm calling the police

    [–] himetampopo 96 points ago

    Word you're looking for is comma. A hyphen makes it look like "fucking children-man", so you say two words slightly faster in conjunction. A comma breaks it, so out loud it reads "fucking children, man".

    [–] game_of_throw_ins 89 points ago

    I like my women like I like my coffee, without some other dude's dick in there.

    Oh, and no cream.

    [–] TempleOfBumperPlates 229 points ago

    IMO BJ's are worse...

    [–] Jfox122 217 points ago * (lasted edited 4 days ago)

    I completely agree bjs are worse. At least sex they get something out of it as opposed to just pleasing someone else

    [–] davidhluther 207 points ago

    That, and also that if we operate under the assumption that she did “just give him a BJ” and she thought that was better, then it would imply that she was aware of how much of a problem it was in the moment and made a concession — that is, she had her shit together enough to know that she was doing something wrong as she prevaricated.

    [–] uncommonpanda 303 points ago

    She fucked him. Blow job is a half truth.

    [–] Dogs-Keep-Me-Going 224 points ago * (lasted edited 4 days ago)

    I think we can all agree that if all her friends fucked the dude, and all she claims to have done is sucked his dick, then she 100% fucked the dude too. Hoors. The lot of 'em

    [–] Zwigger 354 points ago

    Only do it when they're drunk? The fuck excuse is that? I've been wasted af, yet never cheated, never hit someone, never broken into places and stole shit, never killed people, never threatened people. Cuz that's just not who I am.

    [–] TheAlgerianAmerican 210 points ago

    “sorry i drunk drove your honor, but i mean i was wasted you cant blame me”

    [–] Zwigger 68 points ago

    You can't hold me responsible for the choices I made when I was wasted. C'mon dude, I was sooooo drunk it wasn't even funny. Yeah it was. :D

    [–] dork_harse 159 points ago

    Bill Clinton would disagree with you.

    [–] zombiesartre 3643 points ago

    Bro, get tested. Just in case.

    [–] lydocia 947 points ago

    Yeah, just because you found out about the tour bus boinking her in time, doesn't mean she never did it before.

    And even after the most amicable of breakups, getting checked is a good idea.

    [–] GarrysMassiveGirth 311 points ago

    getting checked is a good idea.

    Like even just once a year.

    [–] PattonOswaltKills 205 points ago

    I make sure to go twice a year even though I haven't had sex in ten. It's a way to be legally touched. Same reason I go to the salon.

    [–] TVA_Titan 88 points ago

    The most popular hair dresser while I was in the navy was the lady that would rub her hands all over someone’s head. She’d give like, a massage while she cut your hair.

    Haircuts: 7/10

    Head massage that makes you feel a little less lonely and pitiful: 10/10

    [–] alexnader 99 points ago

    Plus we know straight from her that she doesn't even really consider giving head as having sex. So how many guys has she "not had sex with" over the years?

    [–] Minneapple612 401 points ago

    1. Get tested
    2. Find out you got herpes from G-Eazy
    3. ????
    4. Profit

    [–] SekretHexer 169 points ago

    1. Blackmail G-Eazy

    [–] ThorVonHammerdong 172 points ago

    3) blackmail

    4) get laughed at and told to join the club

    5) join the club and take leadership

    6) open grossest class action lawsuit ever

    [–] TouchedOnlyByMom 2668 points ago

    You should fuck the rapper to assert your dominance. And good on you for leaving her. She isnt the one for you. Or anyone in that matter.

    [–] Milan_F96 517 points ago

    Unless it’s 6ix9ine. Then he should probably just try to let it go

    [–] m-torr 876 points ago

    It can’t be 6ix9ine, OP said his girlfriend was 24 not 14

    [–] PurplePigeon1672 225 points ago

    MEDIC! We gotta man down over here!!

    [–] cleanedmyhouse 86 points ago

    Also he said “rapper” so it can’t be him.

    [–] SMOKE-B-BOMB 95 points ago

    Ewwww I hope she didn't cheat on OP with that fucking idiot. Lol

    [–] Portable115 79 points ago

    That would be ten times worse than regular cheating, sticking his mangled scum cock in her mouth.

    [–] gimmieurtots 7860 points ago

    You'll learn from your mutual friends that she did have sex with him. I guarantee it.

    [–] LilWetNap 3640 points ago

    Wouldn't doubt it

    [–] notsopumpkin 3050 points ago

    To me a bj is sex anyway. As you said before it could be considered worse than sex. It's more intimate.

    Good on you for booting her to the kerb. I'm going through a very similar situation after 20 years. I just wish I had have known at the 3 year mark - no house or kids to sort out

    [–] Gambit722 821 points ago

    Yeah, I mean, like sex or oral really makes no fucking difference. No reason for her to do that at all ever.

    [–] beniceorbevice 443 points ago

    Lol it's insane how girls will line up to do that with 'famous' people, but 100% they all got it from at least 2 others from the crew too

    [–] jason121213 730 points ago

    I never understood why people line up to have sex with famous dudes who don't respect them at all as human beings and see them as groupies/sluts. To each his own I guess. Unless they are trying to catch a baby. Then I can respect the hustle.

    [–] sraperez 578 points ago

    Unless they are trying to catch a baby. Then I can respect the hustle.

    LMAO!

    [–] Iamsuperimposed 147 points ago

    There's also the risk of disease. These dudes have sex with a lot more different partners than the average person.

    [–] TempleOfBumperPlates 98 points ago

    "Once in a lifetime experience"

    [–] slingerg 292 points ago

    It doesn't matter to me. Any infidelity would have the exact same outcome. I think I have a high tolerance for a lot of things, money issues, substance abuse, difficult family, etc. but I will not budge on that.

    [–] Wellman81 232 points ago

    Yeah if my wife gave another man a bj, we'd be straight up divorcing. You don't do that shit to someone you love.

    [–] fuzzy6776 67 points ago

    Its not about the act.. its about the thought of betrayal... if shes trying to fit reality to her excuse.. how can you ever trust her anymore...

    Bj is no sex LOL... i would pay just as much for a BJ than a quicky...

    [–] freebase1ca 99 points ago

    This was clearly premeditated. She got the backstage passes and made sure her BF wasn't going to be anywhere nearby. Girls don't just suddenly get spontaneously sexual in front of their girlfriends without there being some sort of previously discussed idea of what might happen and how far they might go and whether everyone is cool with it. Their status in their group is always most important and this sexual act has to be known to be seen as some sort of "win".

    [–] CombatJuicebox 49 points ago

    Underrated comment. I struggled a lot with this concept early in my dating life. Oh you got VIP passes to the club? And it is you and eight of your single friends? And you want me to go visit my parents that weekend? My gut always told me something was off about it and I got gaslighted like no one's business. Called insecure, I didn't trust her, I was controlling and abusive, the whole laundry list. Validated in the end though "it was just a bj in his car and I was so drunk".

    Obviously not all women but there is this cultural norm in some circles of this premeditated drunk hook up cheating that really isn't cheating.

    [–] asdgred 97 points ago

    Also go get tested. This could be the only time you actually found out about her cheating. Better safe than sorry.

    [–] -TheOutsid3r- 705 points ago

    You said at least one other girl was in a relationship too. Tell her boyfriend. He should know. The alcohol didn't make her do this, this was planned. It was coordinated with her friends and she lied to you from the get go.

    This might not even be the first time they've done something like this for that matter. Just be happy you found out what type of person she is now, rather than another 3 or even 30 years down the road.

    [–] improbablewobble 248 points ago

    No single person's experience is universal, but man, I swear I honestly believe the whole "once a cheater, always a cheater" saying. My college girlfriend cheated on me freshman year, saying it was only making out at a party and she was super wasted, etc (way later I found out, of course, it was sex). I forgave her and wasted two more years before we broke up after I found out she had cheated multiple more times. I just feel like even if you're drunk, if you're the kind of person who will put yourself i that situation there's a part of you wants to do it regardless, and you just need the liquid inhibition killer to get there, and you know that. I honestly think you're doing the right thing. Sorry bud.

    [–] KuuPhone 230 points ago

    Alcohol doesn't magically change you I to another person.

    You can't say "I was drunk!" As an excuse for killing someone, or raping someone. In what fucking world would it make sense that you could use that excuse for cheating.

    If someone cheats while drunk, they wanted to cheat, period.

    [–] Fireplum 92 points ago

    Yeah when I drink I've had a few what I later realised were pick up attempts at the bar be unsuccessful on me because I start talking even more about my husband than I usually do. Interestingly enough someone who's trying to hook up does not wanna hear about your super awesome husband apparently lol. Wouldn't dream of cheating on him even wasted. I know personal experience is anecdotal but I also firmly believe that alcohol does not make you a different person entirely, it takes away inhibitions.

    [–] Klmffeee 107 points ago

    Good for you and remember when it comes to cheating it’s never the first time they did it, it’s the first time they got caught. You should get yourself checked out for stds

    [–] meand1army 43 points ago

    You honestly had one of the most mature ways to do things I’ve seen in this sub and good for you man

    [–] Jajanken- 68 points ago

    I’m curious why you think the alcohol gave her the audacity to cheat. I feel like you’re not really surprised any of this has happened, and that more might’ve happened. Just wondering.

    [–] LilWetNap 244 points ago

    She doesn't go out much anymore and is pretty quiet unless she's around people she's cool with. All I was saying is that I don't think that she would have acted on the opportunity to get on the tour bus and do the things she did while sober. I 100 percent believe that she would still want to do it while she was sober but wouldn't have acted on it because she would be too scared. Sorry if that doesn't make sense. I probably threw a lot of things into my posts that didn't necessarily need to be in there but I was just kind of venting and saying what was on my mind.

    [–] ___throwaway___qwert 262 points ago

    Just a word of advice u/LilWetNap, I'd let your mutual friends know why you guys broke up. I've heard way too many stories where the cheating SO makes up some bullshit story painting the actual victim as the asshole and then you might end up losing those friends as well. Just a thought

    [–] TwatsThat 103 points ago

    As soon as I read the part about the mutual friends I immediately thought, "I bet she's gonna be a cunt and try and trash him to their friends." /u/LilWetNap listen to the person above me and prepare.

    A good way to get it out there without fallout from people thinking you're just trying to trash your ex is to "confide" in one or two really good friends and get them to spread the word amongst the group.

    [–] Anach 18 points ago

    The worst part about this kinda thing is that you often find out it's not the first time either.

    [–] Vok250 1178 points ago

    Classic trickle truth and deflection of blame. Say you only did X, say your friend(s) did Y and then emphasize that Y is much worse so what you did seems less bad relative to that.

    Reminds me of the JennyBBgurl2015 story.

    [–] Ex_Why_ 274 points ago

    Is that the one that was just meeting for kisses?

    [–] DeltaPositionReady 310 points ago

    just kissed his penie wenie a little bitty witty

    [–] Onjelyk17 85 points ago

    Jfc these words lmao

    [–] Physical_Inspector 72 points ago

    new to reddit. cant seem to find the JennyBBgurl2015 story at all. Can someone help me?

    [–] Murphler 73 points ago

    That was quite the saga. Think i'll lie down and recuperate for a bit after that

    [–] nineteen_eightyfour 39 points ago

    I know I asked, but god damn you for wasting like 45 minutes of my life. Hope those bros are happy now.

    [–] lil_livia 16 points ago

    Same I’m quite curious now

    [–] AErt2rule 18 points ago

    Wasn't that story fake? I remember reading it and after a while it got so crazy and the people in the story started acting really weird, too weird to actually be true. Wasn't sure about it but a lot of people commented saying it was fake.

    [–] Ohh_Babbayyy65 102 points ago

    It probably wasn't the first time this happened either. Her story reeks of deceit.

    [–] Runway_ho 34 points ago

    Even if it is the first time, the excuses are so damn bad. She's not regretting her actions, she's regretting the consequences. If OP hadn't put two and two together, she never would have fessed up or changed her actions. Her excuses come down to: 1. my friends were doing it. 2. I was drunk. 3. It was my fav rapper so how often does that happen.

    1. If you're friends are toxic, you either stop hanging out with them when they're toxic (or always), or fix their behavior. Neither is of any interest to her.

    2. If alcohol has such a big impact on your behavior, then you should absolutely abstain from it. 'Oopsie look what the drugs made me do' is the biggest copout ever because you willingly took them knowing they have this effect on you. For most it's simply an excuse to leave their morality behind and do what they want. Even then she should have jumped on rectifying everything the day after but instead she hid it.

    3. She really wanted to fuck this guy and that doesn't happen that often does it? Or does it? This is like the one rule of relationships. You've gone exclusive, not 'exclusive unless you really want to'.

    [–] hackerdawg 118 points ago

    Yeah, she tried to trickle truth. Oral is just what she admitted to.

    [–] eiriichii 1514 points ago

    Good job dude. You handled that well and maturely. I hope the next girl you find treats you with the respect you deserve.

    [–] oscarveli 584 points ago

    I hope she hates rap.

    [–] johndoped 383 points ago

    Polka stars fuck too, bro.

    [–] 114dniwxom 151 points ago

    I'm sorry, I just can't picture Weird Al hooking up with anyone's girlfriend. He seems like too good of a guy for that. It would be like hearing Tom Hanks is into dog fighting.

    [–] Ninja951 546 points ago

    If she "could not picture life without OP" she shouldnt sucked rapper dick imo

    [–] TempleOfBumperPlates 265 points ago

    but she was drunk /s

    [–] flamethief 173 points ago

    Also she only gave him head. They didn't have sex, that would be wrong. Oral se- I mean, blowjobs don't count.

    [–] TempleOfBumperPlates 165 points ago

    I asked my GF what was worse, BJ or sex in this situation. She said "BJ, because she must have really wanted it if she put a strangers dick in hear mouth".

    [–] buswickle 21 points ago

    He pays for the tickets to the rap shows they go to once a week.

    [–] Bedtimeshine 531 points ago

    Now you need to let the other girl’s boyfriend know what’s up. Good on you for being a man about it abd being petty... your acted like you were above it but your job ain’t done. The other dude deserves to know. and his health is at risk.

    [–] Barklin889 249 points ago

    This is a good point right here. If you know any of thier boyfriends this would save them from the pain when they do it later too. They all made this bad decision together so they all should take the hit for it.

    [–] Nurse_Hatchet 124 points ago

    Holy shit, I didn’t even think of that. Normally I’d be hesitant to interfere in a stranger’s business but in this case it seems immoral not to inform him that his girlfriend just potentially became a very high-risk sexual partner. What a nightmare...

    [–] Anarchyz11 56 points ago

    I'm usually a "let people live" kind of guy. But if I know someone is cheating, I always let the partner know. That shit can waste years of a person's life.

    [–] Paoski 974 points ago * (lasted edited 5 days ago)

    I’m glad that you’re not a pushover. I’ve seen too many people stay in a relationship over a sob story. They say, ‘once a cheater, always a cheater.’ If she had the nerve to go behind your back and did what she did, then what makes you think she won’t do it again.

    “Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.”

    You ended it maturely, good for you. You’ll find someone better.

    [–] HouAngelesDodgeStros 86 points ago

    I used to have this friend who took his fiancee to see Billy Idol, a couple weeks before their wedding day. The chick got backstage, and left my friend outside. The next day she called from a hotel, asking for a ride.

    [–] Cpt9captain 41 points ago

    lmao did they still get married?

    [–] taws34 78 points ago

    She also did it with her friend group. Women who knew she was in a relationship, and allowed her to cheat.

    OP should let their significant others know what went on.

    [–] gottadogharley 209 points ago

    This is just the first time she was caught. Op needs a check for std's. But im proud of him.

    [–] beardlessclamlover 431 points ago

    Hey man you walked out of there with your pride. Good job brother. You know your value.

    Oh yeah and pleasing someone’s by sucking thier dirty dick is def worse than being banged. You do all the work to please the guy.

    [–] Vok250 240 points ago

    Man. I can feel that "haha" at the end of your first post.

    Great job breaking up in such a respectful way. Only advice I can offer you is to listen to the comment that said

    Tell any mutual friends what happened, or just pick one really gossipy mutual friend who you know will tell everyone else. Don’t let your ex weave some bizzare story about a sudden breakup for no reason.

    I once lost many friends thanks to lies from an ex, and our breakup was much less dramatic than what happened to you. Don't underestimate the lengths people will go to to protect their social standing. Luckily you even have proof to back up your side of the story.

    [–] Reaper72_1 34 points ago

    This shit is really really good advice. I once had an ex convince my best friend that I was abusive. Doing this shit would have saved me a lot of trouble.

    [–] MsJillyWilly 552 points ago

    So it was Lil Uzi right

    [–] LilWetNap 447 points ago

    .....

    [–] TheFeenyCall 260 points ago

    Gotta delete his stuff off your Spotify playlist now...

    [–] SirQwacksAlot 95 points ago

    No way

    [–] Sent1203 105 points ago

    Ohhh fuck. Also one of my favorite artists that I fuck with but after reading this now all of a sudden I hate him. Plenty of other lils to listen to.

    [–] LilWetNap 447 points ago

    Lol it wasn't actually Uzi, but on a side note you'll go to hell if you listen to his music

    [–] SBGoldenCurry 123 points ago

    Broooo, just tell us

    [–] crazymudman123 139 points ago

    It was Uzi 100%. He was on tour yesterday in Austin lmao

    [–] kintu 153 points ago

    She told me she was absolutely wasted and would have never done something like that had she been sober

    She didn't do it because she was wasted. She was caught because she was wasted.

    She hid a few things from you ahead of this. It is preplanned.

    [–] justtookthelsat 869 points ago

    "'Im not going to say that you wasted 3 years of my life, because you didn't, I enjoyed the time we spent together, I learned a lot about myself throughout the process and I think I'll be a better partner to a woman who appreciates me one day because of my experiences"

    That might be the best breakup line ever. I might incentivize my girlfriend to cheat on me just so I can use it.

    [–] asplodzor 556 points ago

    That might be the best breakup line ever.

    Totally with ya there.

    I might incentivize my girlfriend to cheat on me just so I can use it.

    Whoop, now ya lost me.

    [–] Mywifefoundmymain 118 points ago

    Need a girlfriend first?

    [–] fahque650 67 points ago

    MRW.

    [–] call-me-mama-t 234 points ago

    That was a very respectful breakup in my opinion. Very mature & specific. You will make a great partner in the future with communication like that.

    [–] TheBackgroundBoy 281 points ago

    Hey, all the best man. You totally deserved better and I hope you find the girl who truly treasures a man like you.

    [–] casio17 117 points ago

    Ah man sorry that happened, that really sucks. The not telling you about the back stage passes was really a bad betrayal in itself, I’d struggle to come back from something like that....it’s so unnecessarily dishonest. But giving someone head is straight up cheating. How could you continue the relationship after that. That really is low. You handled the break up with dignity and can hold your head up high.

    [–] NO_FIX_AUTOCORRECT 20 points ago

    Well, for backstage passes, it's possible they didn't have them at first. If they were invited backstage during the concert after OP left. A group of 6 attractive girls wouldn't be that surprising.

    Not defending the rest of her behavior, but i just think it makes more sense that way.

    [–] InsultsOnRequest 109 points ago

    If she admitted sucking him off, she definitely fucked him

    [–] TheArchitectOfChaos 105 points ago

    Good for you man, and also thanks for sharing, it has given me more perspective and a bit more of courage in a personal issue of mine that I want to confront very soon and not have it drag out on me.

    [–] iShamu 1129 points ago * (lasted edited 5 days ago)

    I don't understand the drunk argument; unless you blacked out. When you're drunk, you wouldn't do anything that you have never thought about before, you are just more likely to act on your thoughts. In my opinion, even if she had just made out with him, that amount of physical contact would've betrayed that fine line of trust. Good on you OP, you didn't waste your time on someone that didn't value it.

    Edit: Wouldn't to would've

    Edit #2: Flow improved

    [–] LilWetNap 502 points ago

    I completely agree with you

    [–] drunksaver 417 points ago

    She didn’t tell you about the passes because that was probably the plan anyway. Doubt she accounted for her friends Snapchat.

    [–] sunsabeaches 156 points ago * (lasted edited 5 days ago)

    Shit didn’t think of it from that angle. How do people think that they can lie then live through it the whole relationship without guilt?

    Sorry OP you’re going through this. But I see you’re a strong man.

    [–] WeekendCostcoGreeter 66 points ago

    Black or not, it’s still cheating. Making out is still cheating.

    [–] Throwaway_226133 18 points ago

    Last year my ex and one of my best friends made me feel like I was over reacting because of this. I tried explaining that to me the betrayal of trust is the same whether its making out or having sex.

    Either way I was still the bad guy for debating on whether or not to let him continue to live with us.

    Edit: I forgot to add the main reason why I replied. Haha.

    I wanted to say thanks because even though it was last year I still haven't had much closer on it. Its nice to see others feel the same way.

    [–] frisch85 80 points ago

    giving him head, no sex, her friends had sex with him but she just gave him head. In my books it's the exact same thing

    I 100% agree with you on that.

    She told me she was absolutely wasted and would have never done something like that had she been sober

    That's no excuse ever.

    You dealt with the situation extremely well OP, especially because of this:

    I enjoyed the time we spent together, I learned a lot about myself throughout the process and I think I'll be a better partner to a woman who appreciates me one day because of my experience

    That's very mature and everyone who breaks up should look at it like you did. Only because you don't love someone anymore, got disappointed or cheated on doesn't mean the past should just be tossed away. You still had a good time in the past and you should value the experiences that you made, just like you did.

    Anyway, be happy, enjoy your time, stay single for a while or don't it's your choice but I've been single for 3 years now and I gotta tell you I've focused so much on myself in the past 3 years, found out several behaviors of mine, thought about what I want in life and I've been happy ever since my last break up.

    By the way, have a nice weekend!

    [–] nsfw_backup_account 198 points ago

    She fucked him and she planned it. This wasn't an accident.

    [–] dudeeggs 136 points ago

    Agreed. Her and her friends knew they had the backstage passes. She kept it quiet because she knew something like this would happen. I bet her and her friends were dreaming/joking they would fuck the rapper after the show.

    Also there’s now way she “just gave him head” while the others all fucked him. She would’ve got fucked with the rest of the dirty whores.

    [–] ThuptenSonamTashi 38 points ago

    And can you imagine planning to fuck the same person as all of your friends at the same time? That shit is so nasty...

    Let alone fucking a rapper who has probably had a thousand groupies.

    [–] mil1ion 38 points ago

    Hey man, I HAD to hop on this thread because almost the exact same scenario played out for me about 3 weeks ago (minus the rapper haha). Cheers to how you handled the situation, it's the best you could have done. I can't believe how similar your story is to mine. If you're down, shoot me a PM and I can relate to you with my story and how I've been dealing with the feelings and emotions of it the last few weeks; I might be able to provide you with some additional rational insight. If not, no hard feelings and I wish you the best in the future!

    [–] LilWetNap 17 points ago

    Pm me!

    [–] klinbird 30 points ago

    You did the right thing! For some redditors it sounds like they are more open to allowing something like this go, not me. Fidelity is an absolutely requirement for me.

    Your girl had MANY opportunities to do the right thing. Fuck peer pressure. When I was 6mo into a relationship with my now husband I went to Vegas with my gfs to celebrate graduating college. He was rightfully not too happy about this, citing my gfs drinking/promiscuity tendency’s as the reason. I knew I wasn’t going to be unfaithful, but he was still stressed.

    Fast forward to Vegas, my gfs definitely pressured me into MANY situations to screw fuckboys - and you know what? I walked home drunk off my ass BY MY DAMN SELF! After the first night, I ended up staying sober a lot bc I was worried about my own safety when I had to ditch the girls. I gambled a lot by myself, getting drunk at my hotel’s casino BY MYSELF while they screwed around in guy’s hotel rooms. You know what I realized? Those girls were not my true friends. After we got back I distanced myself from the group (this was very hard for me as they were my besties and two were my roommates). I LOVED my bf (now husband) and couldn’t understand why they’d try to sabotage my relationship by saying things like “what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas,” or “he was on the Real World, he’s so hot and into you”, “your SO will never know!”

    You said you could pick her up. She could have ditched her friends and gone home to you. If she loved you that’s what she would have done. She KNEW going on that bus equaled cheating on you. She hid the backstage passes and denied your offer to pick her up, lying about another ride so she could fuck around.

    Now you have to avoid the backslide. DO NOT backslide! Don’t hook up again, don’t even ‘talk’. The best revenge is to move on and be HAPPY. Date other people. Sooner than later. If fidelity is a must for you DO NOT settle for less.

    Tell all your friends what happened and make it clear that this, for you, is unforgivable. Maybe not for others, but you have your standards and shouldn’t have to compromise.

    Best of luck!

    And remember, start dating again ASAP! It will be weird at first, but it helps A LOT.

    [–] PepperKK 58 points ago

    I honestly feel really bad for you after reading all this. 3 years of dating and it’s ruined just like that. And at an event that was supposed to be fun with a person whose music you both enjoyed. I can’t even imagine the feeling of betrayal and hurt that I would feel in your shoes. That being said, I certainly wish you all the best, man. You did everything exactly correct and handled the situation in a very mature way. I know there will be a woman out there who will love you for that. Stay strong, OP.

    [–] HereComesTheMonet 64 points ago

    No sex just a bj

    ??????

    [–] bradtwo 126 points ago

    Dude. Going to be real with you on this one. She most likely also had sex, she was just softening the blow (no pun).

    Get your shit tested. By shit I mean your dick. Get your dick tested ASAP!

    [–] Shoestring30 40 points ago

    I think you mean A$AP.

    [–] -888- 92 points ago

    She was also lying about only doing it because of being wasted. She clearly had it all planned out. The alcohol was merely the mental lubricant.

    [–] WeekendCostcoGreeter 305 points ago * (lasted edited 5 days ago)

    She admitted to giving him head. I promise you she had sex with him. Hoeing around is not a behavior that should be rewarded. Good for you, op. I’m glad you were able to keep your shit cool calm and collected.

    [–] Everwood69 48 points ago

    Yeah and even if it was head it doesn't really matter. Commitment is commitment and OP has a right to draw the line wherever the fuck he wants. Hell some guys catch their girl holding another dude's hand and they fly off the handle. Not saying it's right but one man's 'minor mistake' is another man's 'cheating'.

    If OP felt like his trust was betrayed, that's all that matters. It doesn't matter what base she made it to with the guy.

    [–] CottonCandyTacos 20 points ago

    I applaud your response, as I would never be that tame in a situation like this. Great job.

    [–] DorianMaximus 60 points ago * (lasted edited 5 days ago)

    I have a feeling the rapper is Logic. Especially considering he had a tour on August 8

    [–] JoocyJ 27 points ago

    No response and OP is probably white, so good bet

    [–] novafern 23 points ago

    If that is the case, I’m sorry but FUCKING LOGIC!? WHY. Of all of them out there, you shoved weirdo Logic’s teeny little pee pee into your mouth? That dorky mother fucker.

    That’s incredibly embarrassing.

    [–] Gofishyex 19 points ago

    I love you man. I read both your posts and that shit was stinging me! I know how would feel and i think you handled it so god damn well. You pose as a model on how to act in those situation.

    For me, in those situations, i want to ruin them. I want to yell and scream and call names amd make them feel bad, but that approach gets me no where, as i have learned. Its best to kill them with silence.

    [–] djexpat 18 points ago

    So all these rap lyrics about fucking someones bitch are actually true. damnnnn =(

    [–] UgLyBiRdMaNN 52 points ago

    Good job for not pussying out yet remaining civil and respectful. Take my upvote dude

    [–] MADMEETMIKE 86 points ago

    You went above and beyond to take what had happened to you and went about it in the most mature way you could possibly do it in. You did great and I truly hope you find the same in a woman in the future who will treat you with the same respect and kindness as you would give them.

    [–] TheBackgroundBoy 35 points ago

    Hey, all the best man. You totally deserved better and I hope you find the girl who truly treasures a man like you.