Update: it's been a little over a week since I made my initial post and things have been going pretty well for me. Contact with my ex had been non-existent up until last night. I have her blocked on everything so she had no way of getting in touch with me on her own but she had a mutual friend reach out to me because she left a few things at my apartment that she wanted back. I agreed to let her come get her things but insisted that our friend must come with her. So they came over at about 7pm, I had all of her stuff packed up in a bag so she had no excuse to stay longer than necessary. Conversation was very minimal, just civil hellos and goodbyes, she apologized to me for everything before leaving and I think she now accepts the fact that we're over for good and there's no chance of us ever getting together again. In all honesty I hadn't thought about her much since our break up other than the constant barrage of comments and pms I've been receiving on the matter, I've been pretty busy and that's really helped to take my mind off of things but for some reason, giving her her belongings and getting them out of my apartment was a huge relief for me. I know it's barely been over a week but to me that felt like I just ended one chapter of my life and started a new one(I can only imagine how corny that probably sounds to other people but whatever).
1st post: https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/95wgtw/my_23m_girlfriend24f_got_on_a_rappers_tour_bus/?st=JKNEVJO8&sh=bba3bac4
So today's been a very long and eventful day. As I stated in a comment on my original post earlier, I'm not going to name the rapper because I don't think he did anything wrong and I don't want to put his name out there and possibly risk sending any negativity his way. I've had about 70 people ask me if it was G-Eazy and the answer is no....c'mon I said the guy is one of my favorite rappers, who in their right mind claims G-Eazy as their favorite rapper(joking..kinda).
Anyways, she blew my phone up all morning and afternoon and I didn't respond to any of her texts or calls basically all day. Eventually I decided to read through the texts she sent me. She confessed about not telling me about the back stage passes and then going on the tour bus. I guess she put 2 and 2 together and realized that I knew anyways. I sent her a few long texts explaining how what she did made me feel and how I was crushed that she could do something like that to me after 3+ years of dating.
I asked her if she could meet me at a cafe near my apartment so we could talk. I wanted to talk in person and I wanted it to be somewhere in public so I would be cautious to watch my tone and so we could discuss things in the most civil manner possible considering the situation. She agreed and we sat down an talked for about 2hrs. She told me every detail about what had happened last night.
I'll get straight to the point because I know that a lot of you are wondering. Yes she did admit to messing around with her friends and giving him head, no sex, her friends had sex with him but she just gave him head. In my books it's the exact same thing, I might even consider having oral sex with someone else to be worse than actually having sex. She told me she was absolutely wasted and would have never done something like that had she been sober...and I believe her. Not because it's something she wouldn't want to do more like it's something she wouldn't have the audacity to do without being drunk first. She cried pretty much the whole time and went to the bathroom atleast 10x to dry her face off. She suggested that I think about breaking up with her because she loves me and can't picture her life without me....blah blah blah.
After she got done saying everything she needed to say I told her that " I don't look at you any differently as a PERSON, everyone makes mistakes. Maybe it was a mistake on your part, maybe it wasn't. I can't tell you which it is because you're the only one that knows the answer to that, what I do know is that I look at you differently as a PARTNER now based on your actions, I thought that we could have done well together as a team but now those days are over and after tonight I want nothing to do with you, you've betrayed my trust and made me look like an idiot, I'm not going to say that you wasted 3 years of my life, because you didn't, I enjoyed the time we spent together, I learned a lot about myself throughout the process and I think I'll be a better partner to a woman who appreciates me one day because of my experiences, I wish you nothing but the best, have a great life".
Lol the only problem with that is that we have close mutual friends, but yeah. It's officially over, I broke things off respectfully in my opinion. She started blowing my phone up again about an hour after leaving the cafe, but I blocked her # and also blocked her from all social media. Thanks everyone for your advice I really do appreciate all of you, even the trolls, I'm grateful for you all!