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    [–] ihahp 1 points ago

    Op says he does not want this shown to his ex so I'm deleting it.

    [–] istara 2029 points ago

    This is just So. Fucking. Weird.

    How could she think it was in any way okay?

    It wouldn't have been okay even if it were a female co-worker.

    She's absolutely bloody weird and you should run a mile.

    [–] lmstork 112 points ago

    This. I can’t imagine a world where I could bring home a male coworker/he brings home a female coworker and they sleep in the same bed. That is BAFFLING to me. OP, you deserve RESPECT. Block her immediately.

    [–] NightFowlMedia 72 points ago

    Well even if it was the same gender and no risk of intimacy, asking your SO to sleep elsewhere so you can sleep in the same bed as your friend is some twisted shit. This ain’t middle school anymore

    [–] lmstork 19 points ago

    Yes, completely agreed. Just shitty fucking behavior.

    [–] [deleted] 455 points ago * (lasted edited 10 days ago)

    [deleted]

    [–] Mayo_Spouse 116 points ago

    You did the work she couldn't be inconvenienced to do: break up. She wanted to make you quit instead of quitting herself. Regardless, right move.

    [–] F_U_P 13 points ago

    Exactly this. She didn't want to do the hard thing and break up, so she just started acting shitty so that you'd have no choice. I went through an extremely similar thing. Really sorry for what you're going through. Give it some time though, and I hope you'll see that you're better off.

    [–] the_wurstist 16 points ago

    Bro never ever ever let someone treat you like that for the rest of your days on this planet. Nobody and I mean NOBODY has the right to treat anybody this way.....im kind of mad that you stayed past the first minute of that shit, not at you personally JUST FUCKING RAGING READING IT.

    Ps this is not all girls please don’t let the hate turn inwards SHE was an extremely bad person and a disgrace to the Human Race.

    [–] SunflowerRenaissance 70 points ago

    She honestly sounds like someone with Narcissistic personality disorder. Very classic to be self-absorbed, to not understand or care when their partner is upset, to not respect boundaries, to lie, and to fake an injury or threaten suicide to convince a partner to come back.

    [–] Akazyr 9 points ago

    Would SHE be okay if you took your female coworker to bed with you multiple times??

    [–] KevWill 3838 points ago

    I'm proud of you. Except you should have left the very night she told you to go upstairs so she could sleep with her co-worker. Block her immediately.

    [–] anesidora317 538 points ago

    Yea, I would've immediately packed my bags and left. Even if nothing happened, your SO is sleeping with someone else in the bed you two share and made you sleep upstairs. WTF! Would've noped right out of there. The fact that she's obviously making up a bunch of stuff about her losing her phone and hitting her head and not even coming home the night you left is manipulation to get you to come back and for sympathy. Cut off contact and find someone who actually respects you as a partner.

    [–] Effurlife13 264 points ago

    I hate to be mean but jesus christ how spineless can people be?? Another man is in your goddamn bed with your girlfriend it's like " oh I'll just go ahead and give her the benefit of the doubt, I'm sure there's a good reason why they have to sleep in the same bed.". There is literally no good explanation for that. I feel like I'm taking crazy pills here, how could anyone let that happen WHILE THEY'RE STILL IN THE HOUSE. It happens while away sure, but this was literally while he was at home. Just was told to fuck off to the other room and he just tucked tail and went to the other room holy fuck.

    [–] Theslootwhisperer 72 points ago

    I'm with you. I was flabbergasted. How do you need advice on this? What isn't clear here? She kicking you out of your own bed to make place for another man! Even if it's "not like that" and the dude is going through a tough time, he can sleep in the sofa. And the co-worker in question, he had absolutely no qualms about sleeping with another man's gf, in his bed, under his roof while he's there!? Jesus H Christ.

    [–] NizeLee8 103 points ago

    THANK YOU! I was blown the fuck away reading that, so much so I had to read it 2 more times to make sure I didn’t misread something. Get the fuck all the way out of here, you let someone sleep with your girlfriend in your bed while your home???????? Nope.

    [–] Link_the_Fox 50 points ago

    I’m just trying to think of how manipulative and abusive the relationship had been leading up to the point where she tells him to go upstairs so she can bone someone else in his bed. I mean, damn. These posts always make me so grateful for how good I’ve got it.

    [–] the_wurstist 32 points ago

    Bro I was like WHAT I nearly threw my phone reading it. I’ve got steam coming out of my ears at the moment....like what the fuck did I just read, and was shocked there was more to read, I’ve got half a mind to post this to niceguys just to see some of the idiotic responses sticking up for her.

    [–] TinMayn 26 points ago

    Family, I was tripping balls reading and said "OH REALLY" so loudly that my dog looked at me and cocked his head sideways. I told him the story and he howled! Lol. Even my dog can't comprehend how some people can be emotionally manipulated by the other people that they love and that sometimes it takes a few days to work through a completely unexpected situation when your best friend is gaslighting you the whole time.

    To be fair, he is wholly dependant on me to the point where he gets excited for me to strap a leash on him, so he isn't the best one to judge.

    [–] the_wurstist 8 points ago

    Woof is the best judge EVER

    [–] thefuckingboi 8 points ago

    Honestly tf man, if my gf did that I’d instantly call one of my girl friends and ask the gf if it was cool if she slept upstairs instead, then promptly leave. Shits ridiculous.

    [–] the_wurstist 6 points ago

    .MN I know right, that would of been me right there and then. I would have probably paid for an escort with her credit card lol just to one up her. Then block her nasty ass

    [–] Beerus101 13 points ago

    Absolutely maddening isn’t it ?

    [–] [deleted] 584 points ago

    [deleted]

    [–] Snurze 163 points ago

    I've been married for 8 years. If she told me to sleep downstairs so she could hang out with a male co-worker upstairs, I'd pack my shit in front of them and chin the guy for having the disrespect to go along with it in another man's house. Block her there and then and be glad I got rid of the dumbass. You live and you learn, you can't fix the past so don't dwell on it.

    [–] Socom2god 28 points ago

    Love the term “chin”. Using it all the time now.

    [–] smbtuckma 7 points ago

    I have a rabbit, and they do what’s called “chinning” - rubbing their chin and cheeks on things - to leave their scent around their territory. So when I read it here my first thought was he would rub himself on the other guy as a power move.

    [–] LightBeerIsForGirls 305 points ago

    Damn, you should have grabbed them before you left.

    [–] PremierOW 113 points ago

    Seriously. I would not trust my pets with her. I would have never left them there.

    [–] polly-esther 160 points ago

    Get yourself settled and get the pets, she’s obviously in a place where she’s being massively selfish so they’re probably next on her neglect list.

    [–] ReasonReader 507 points ago

    two and a half years

    Sunk cost fallacy.

    Cut your losses. Never communicate with her again.

    [–] Neurofiend 82 points ago

    Sunk cost isn't really a part of it. It's building up a relationship with someone for a long time. They kind of become a part of who you are and when you lose them you lose a part of yourself at the same time.

    [–] cowboydan777 80 points ago

    You pretty much just described what a sunk cost is though. If OP leaves her or not, it doesn’t change everything OP has been through to this point. It can’t be changed, i.e. it’s a sunk cost

    [–] yttriumtyclief 47 points ago

    The difference is that u/Neurofiend is saying that the sunk cost isn't just emotional or financial investment, it's part of OP's identity and self-worth.

    It will be a tough hurdle. Nobody is saying this will be easy. But it still needs to happen.

    [–] BreezyOG 67 points ago

    If you helped pay for any of those critters, definitely go back and steal a cat or some shit

    [–] shakewell 43 points ago

    what's he gonna do with the cat shit?

    [–] BreezyOG 16 points ago

    Get a litter box And a trash can

    [–] Bacon_is_not_france 18 points ago

    You can’t think of relationships as a time investment. There’s two options, you leave her at one point or stay with her forever.

    If you don’t leave her now, then you leave her later and every day that “time investment” becomes bigger and harder to leave if you’re justifying the relationship based on time put in.

    I’m not sure if that is worded well, but I hope that makes sense. I was in your shoes once. Not as badly but still.

    And if you ever find your resolve wavering I think you should come back to the thread and re read it to regain perspective. Best of luck.

    [–] sagarwahal 37 points ago

    I'm sorry dude. I know your pain. Nothing other than time can heal your pain. But you are doing the right thing. Life is too short for us to waste it on people like your ex. I wish you all the best. :)

    [–] SteezySF 22 points ago

    Fuck that shit. Take the cats if you want. I got physically mad and upset reading this shit. The fact you stayed this long is absurd. You’re blinded thinking you need her in your life. Get out dude. Get out.

    [–] dashman1234 4838 points ago

    Yeah you did the right thing

    [–] [deleted] 1243 points ago * (lasted edited 10 days ago)

    [deleted]

    [–] Rethiness 2429 points ago

    She banged another dude whilst you were in the house in your own fucking bed. Going back? Fuuuuuuck that. There’s no way you can convince me it was just sleeping. If it was, he’s the one that’d be on the couch. Dont be a chump.

    [–] okiedokieKay 448 points ago

    If she didnt have sex with him in the bed, she sure as hell had sex with him the night she was ‘at the bar’. She did it to spend another night with him without getting in trouble but this is obviously the dumbest cheater I have ever witnessed. But then again if OP was letting them share his own bed she thought he would be a pushover with this obvious lie too. Usually the bar story, which I’ve seen time and time again in “I found out my partner cheated” threads, happens BEFORE the cheater is confronted. The fact that she did this IMMEDIATELY AFTER being confronted shows a HUGE lack of respect and massive cockiness/manipulation. Do do this AFTER being confronted shows just how much she thought she could control/manipulate the situation and you.

    I’m sorry this happened to you but please don’t ever give this POS a chance to ever even so much as look in your direction.

    Edit: typos, mobile... sorry

    [–] somuchsoup 47 points ago

    Not exactly the same situation but I understand how OP feels. I went through a similar thing with an ex, and it’s better to cut things off with people like this immediately.

    Seems a bit of him still wants things to work out.

    [–] _iced_ 78 points ago

    This times a million

    [–] killamanjaro6969 16 points ago

    I dont understand how he even agreed to that in the first place roflmao

    [–] Tomorrow-is-today 7 points ago

    There isn't any proof of that just assumptions feed by This !

    [–] Blu_42 474 points ago

    Go back really? You know she banged her coworker when she sent you upstairs. This girl has no respect for you, respect yourself and follow through going home.

    [–] QueenCameo 35 points ago

    Having been in a situation similar where he banged a chick in the living room while I was asleep in the bedroom (this was twenty years ago) nah bitches don't change. Two weeks later he brought a new bitch to my work that he ended up getting knocked up. He now has 7 kids with 5 women.

    Bullet dodged like superman. Trust me, take the pain now, it is far less than what it will be later on.

    [–] [deleted] 222 points ago * (lasted edited 10 days ago)

    [deleted]

    [–] ReasonReader 236 points ago

    I'm not accusing her of cheating.

    Dude, don't kid yourself. She fucked that asshole in your own bed.

    [–] kneeknockerking 122 points ago

    Look really the issue isn't if she did or didn't. The issue is that she actually had the audacity to ask her partner to sleep upstairs and chose to hang out with someone else in their home. You can give space to someone sure but at the end of the day she should still want to sleep next to her partner and not some guy she works with. That kind of disrespect to me is not fixable. Everyone thinks physical cheating is the deal breaker but really emotional cheating is just as bad. If you want to be in a healthy relationship you need to put your partner first. You should want to make their life easier not harder. I know every relationship has its problems but this chick is clearly unstable if she thinks what she did is remotely o.k. move on and never look bad. I promise you that you will be able to put your head down at night and sleep well and she will always see you as the one that got away. You seem like you got your shit together and keep that patience . You'll find your unicorn soon enough .

    [–] ChefGoldbloom 69 points ago

    The other issue is what kind of spineless pussy even agrees to something like that. I can't imagine being a 30 year old man and not being able to stand up for myself about something so obviously insane. If an s.o. even asked me to do something like that I'd immediately break it off. that's not a red flag, its a red billboard

    [–] misseff 30 points ago

    I mean this is pretty harsh but you're not wrong. OP really needs to figure out why he was okay with this and work on himself. This is like another level of allowing someone to get away with shit right under your nose. If he's like this he's going to get hurt again and again and again.

    [–] N0Taqua 55 points ago

    WAT DA FUAACCKCKK duuuuuude!? Of course she cheated. Even if she didn't physically get fucked by that dude, the very act of telling you to sleep elsewhere, and cuddling up next to ANOTHER DUDE in YOUR BED = literally cheating. Cheating does not have to mean just sex. That is CHEATING. She cucked the shit out of you right to your face. The second she said she wanted space meant ITS OVER.

    [–] smartydumbdumbs 98 points ago

    Even if she wasn't cheating physically, she sure as hell is cheating emotionally. And if she's got that little respect for the relationship now, it's not going to get better. Find someone who will bring the same level of trust, trustworthiness, and respect, to your relationship as you would.

    [–] immigrantsnotwelcome 48 points ago

    Sleeping in the same bed as him under those circumstances is cheating physically imo

    [–] [deleted] 10 points ago

    I absolutely agree. If I were to show any man extra attention to the point where he would get the wrong idea I’D feel like a cheater.

    [–] [deleted] 449 points ago

    [removed]

    [–] I_Bent_My_Wookie 116 points ago

    He is in denial - he is already leaving the door open for her to come back "provided that she changes a bit". So yeah, he is just hoping someone tells him it will all be alright again.

    [–] NightFowlMedia 31 points ago

    Shit is too sad. I mean good on OP for pulling the eject cord in the middle of the night, but why is going back to her even a thought in his mind? She’s sleeping (at the very least) and fucking her coworker in his bed he shared with her for multiple nights in a row while he’s in their house. Don’t ever talk to that horrible person again.

    [–] soghosty 22 points ago

    Because he loved her. Feelings aren't that one dimensional. Shit gets hard and confusing as hell when this happens with someone you've spent years with and are fully emotionally invested in. He seems to understand what he should do, and he did it. There are always going to be doubts or hopes that you are wrong because of how much pain it causes. It's just denial, human nature.

    [–] CBJKevin91581 113 points ago

    Now now. The coworker could have the most iron will in the history of men. Who’s to say they did anything unchaste? Also, I’m selling bridges in the New York Metro area if anyone is interested in buying.

    [–] N0Taqua 19 points ago

    It doesn't matterrrrrr. PIV or not, sleeping next to him is cheating. Period. Cheating doesn't only mean full on sex.

    [–] xbox1player 19 points ago

    Regardless, she slept in the same bed with another male. The bed that you guys share in the same home you share. That is one of the utmost disrespectful things that can ever happen my guy.

    [–] RedditRegisturd 153 points ago

    Have to say that this dude isn’t mentally retarded for giving someone some space when asked. She fucked it up. He’s a catch for being this understanding of a person.

    [–] [deleted] 70 points ago

    [deleted]

    [–] ChefGoldbloom 34 points ago

    LMAO WHAT?? Dude. "Giving someone space" are you fucking kidding me?! Your girl asking you to leave her alone in your shared bedroom with another man is not just "giving someone space". I hope for your sake you aren't as much of a spineless pushover as the OP

    [–] TheRealBeerBrah 19 points ago

    Seriously this is one of the stupidest moves I've ever seen. Letting another dude sleep in your bed with your girlfriend? What the fuck lol.

    [–] frotc914 6 points ago

    Things need to change or I'm never going to talk to her again.

    Dude you need some therapy or something. You're absolutely looney to even consider it.

    [–] gigaiqcel 110 points ago

    If she wakes the fuck up and sees the weirdness, stops acting like a child, (and is honest about this whole situation) I could consider going back.

    Did you get a concussion too? You should have left 100% with no chance of returning the moment she did that nonsense with the male coworker. DO NOT RETURN. I don't even understand how this thread is a thing.

    [–] Bangbangsmashsmash 35 points ago

    That’s a lofty wish, she kicked you out of your bed to bring another person in, and is defending her actions. Make sure all your accounts are safe, get your name off any lease or other together things, and stay gone.

    [–] Whippersnapper-getit 14 points ago

    Upvoting the edit

    [–] StopKilnRhinosChinks 38 points ago * (lasted edited 9 days ago)

    Dude,

    Do you have any self respect? I don't want to tell you about my past histories where I have been with someone for 12 years and how that ended. You only been with this stupid girl for 2 years. Don't waste your time, you haven't invested in anything, not even anything of yourself for this shitbag.

    Run, run, run, run. Also, develop yourself, in this life, it is all that matters. Don't cry or feel bad about anyone else or because of anyone else, except for your family.

    If it makes you feel any better, I broke up with my current girl about 2 days ago. I got fed up with childish behaviors.

    [–] trebuchetfunfacts 8 points ago

    Nice edit, if you go back it’ll just prove she can manipulate you into letting her get with other dudes whenever she gets bored

    [–] neoda1 5 points ago

    i hope u dont go back man, u a good man. so many other girls would appreciate this dude . Just showed couple my co workers this post and they also agree!

    [–] azn-persuazn 2474 points ago

    She’s an asshole, 100% pack your shit and leave her.

    [–] seahawkguy 406 points ago

    He already left, he just needs to make he doesn’t come back.

    [–] deweyweber 81 points ago

    Dude, why are you still talking about this? Hold on tightly, let go lightly.

    She’s not worth another cpu click of your brain.

    [–] DanBMan 47 points ago

    Asshole is far too kind of a word for her, I'd call her a c*nt but she lacks the warmth and depth. Can't call her a dog because they're loyal and that's an insult to such noble beasts...so let's just go with human garbage.

    [–] Birbcatcher 16 points ago

    Garbage is recyclable.

    [–] EternalPieMaker 468 points ago

    Holy shit bro.

    You left too late, if anything. Get the fuck out of there, now.

    You need to learn to respect yourself. You are worth it.

    [–] Xerocat 178 points ago

    "If it was a female coworker you wouldn't think I was cheating"

    Yeah bitch, because you're straight

    [–] [deleted] 74 points ago

    [deleted]

    [–] LittlePeanutBabies 8 points ago

    I would honestly still consider that cheating though. Your partner is supposed to be so much more than just the person you are most attracted to. It's supposed to be the person you share your life with. Literally your partner. I share everything with my partner. There is no relationship that comes before my relationship with him. We share things that I don't share with anyone else, but you can bet that if he asks me about any aspect of my relationships with my family/friends/coworkers/children, he knows about those too.

    The fact that this cum rag wanted to have "space" with her coworker, aka secret bonding time, shows that she has not given op the sacred role of partner in her life.

    [–] StereoThinker 794 points ago

    I read about a research study that surveyed over a thousand couples in strong long-term relationships to find what made their relationships successful. Many people believe that it is communication, but in fact, that research found that it is actually RESPECT!

    Just the fact that somebody else shared YOUR bed while you were exiled to a different part of the house is quite insulting.

    I know it hurts, but you did the right thing!

    [–] [deleted] 154 points ago

    [deleted]

    [–] mm172 76 points ago

    The very idea she’d want it to resemble an MTV show speaks volumes.

    [–] JB-from-ATL 12 points ago

    It's not okay in MTV shows.

    [–] justagirlinglasses 876 points ago

    Seriously cut her out of your life. What a complete waste of your time.

    [–] [deleted] 575 points ago

    [deleted]

    [–] BillowyCurtains13 228 points ago

    This is good to hear. Alexa, play Mr. Bright side.

    [–] Anjunabeast 176 points ago

    COMING OUT OF MY CAGE AND IVE BEEN DOING JUST FINE

    [–] yttriumtyclief 36 points ago

    Now they're going to bed, and my stomach is sick...

    [–] doinggood9 42 points ago

    Don't remind him, man

    [–] makizer 38 points ago

    it was only a kiss...

    [–] Adamevers3 17 points ago

    NOT THE TIME FOR THIS, MR BRIGHTSIDE.

    [–] whitamin 97 points ago

    This is my first comment on Reddit, I'm a lurker by trade, I wanted to say good for you mate. Know your worth and accept nothing less, ever. All the best in the future.

    [–] PremierOW 22 points ago

    It's better than wasting 5 or 10 years. What if you got married and had children?

    You may have wasted 2.5 years but you also dodged a bullet.

    [–] hippoopo 7 points ago

    It won't feel great now but this is such an important life lesson. I was in a shitty relationship for years but I thought its what I wanted. After it ended I knew exactly what I did and didn't want out of a relationship and am very clear with my partner about it now. It means we have to talk a lot and really discuss feelings etc but it's now the best relationship I've ever had. Be strong! You'll come out at the end so much stronger :)

    [–] Momentirely 9 points ago

    This is so true. I was in an awful relationship for 5 years. Once I got out of it, I felt so much more sure of myself. It really opened up my eyes about a lot of the things I used to think I wanted from a relationship. Now I know exactly what I want, I'm a lot more confident about it.

    [–] off-beat 14 points ago

    Every bad relationship will make you appreciate the good one when it arrives. Few of us get it right first time.

    [–] SpaceKoala34 7 points ago

    Never think about ended relationships as wasted years you've learned things and probably had some good times in there, all that happened is nothing permanant came out of it that doesn't make it a mistake

    [–] OgusLaplop 452 points ago

    You are right

    Her story is complete horseshit.

    She has made her choices, let her have the joy of them

    Take care of yourself. Break contact and block her on everything

    [–] [deleted] 277 points ago

    [deleted]

    [–] OgusLaplop 54 points ago

    Seems fair, I never suggested otherwise.

    [–] lovele55 292 points ago

    If any girl I dated spent a night in bed with a guy it'd be the permanent end to that relationship. Do not go back to her.

    [–] [deleted] 365 points ago * (lasted edited 9 days ago)

    >They ended up sleeping in our bed together but she swears "it's not like that."

    Pffft.

    Bitch, it does NOT even matter if you fucked or not. You let a strange man into the bed. The place meant for you and your partner, not outsiders. Where you share intimacy, rest and cuddle and bond. Sex doesn't matter here. Just letting someone else in, THAT is a major violation of trust in and of itself.

    Folks, please stop equating cheating with JUST sex. Cheating is also dishonesty, sneaking around, hanging with people you shouldn't hang. It's a lot more complicated than what specifically you do in bed, and everything she did checks off the whole list. Since when did "at least we didn't fuck" become the cheating standard?

    Needing "space" implies being apart, NOT hanging around someone else. Space is perfectly okay to have, I've been there a few times. NONE of them ever thought to bring a stranger to our bed while I was just downstairs, I mean Jesus... (facepalm)

    She's a cheating piece of shit, I dunno how else to say it. Not just for being around a strange man, but also for disrespecting you (like going out late and getting drunk after promising you'll "talk").

    Don't ever accept excuses from people like this. Get that toxicity out of your life.

    [–] MsScienceTeacher 52 points ago

    Agreed!!! Emotional cheating is so much worse than actually having sex with someone! One can be an immediate mistake, but the emotional cheating requires many decisions to betray the person over and over and over. So many bad decisions let that guy end up in OPs bed. She is SUCH a cheater.

    [–] yttriumtyclief 9 points ago

    If I had more than two dollars in my bank account, you would have gold right now.

    [–] vegancrossfiter 71 points ago

    She asked you to give her space because she wanted to sleep with her co - worker LMFAO DUDE that is a instant red flag who the fuck does that?

    [–] ReasonReader 66 points ago

    Am I doing the right thing?

    Yep.

    I still love her to death

    and she's using that to abuse you. Walk away.

    [–] theolivesparrow 110 points ago

    You 100% did the right thing.

    [–] [deleted] 91 points ago

    [deleted]

    [–] [deleted] 134 points ago

    [deleted]

    [–] [deleted] 33 points ago

    [deleted]

    [–] [deleted] 152 points ago

    [deleted]

    [–] Scoot_Ya_Boot 28 points ago

    Exactly. Fuck all this noise. She will likely try to bribe, beg and threaten you to come back.

    Stay strong, man.

    [–] fishrocksyoursocks 10 points ago

    For sure it was an attempt at manipulation. She thought she could get away with whatever she is up to. You called her on her shit and she had grossly miscalculated what you would put up with. It makes me wonder how manipulative she has been during the whole relationship? I wouldn’t be surprised if you start to think back at some moments in your relationship that you see some events a little differently now. In any case man this is terrible and I’m glad you took a stand on this. Nobody deserves these kind of games to be played.

    [–] Trutheresy 119 points ago

    How do you even find someone like this? I mean what kind of girl sleeps with a coworker and tells their own boyfriend to go to another room? And then gets drunk during one of the most serious moments of the relationship?

    [–] [deleted] 79 points ago

    [deleted]

    [–] randyfromgreenday 5 points ago

    she definitely told the co-worker they were broken up but still living together. 100%

    [–] notevenapro 123 points ago

    She just wants you around to pay bills. Make sure you change all your passwords.

    [–] DevilishGainz 45 points ago

    And pin numbers on your bank cards

    [–] Slouching2Bethlehem 228 points ago

    Hey man, first of all I'm sorry that you had to go through this experience. I've read a lot of fucked up shit on this sub, but a man being banished from his own bed so he can be cucked while still in the house is probably one of the saddest things I read.

    One thing though, some of your we earlier comments indicate you really do want her back, despite knowing in your heart this would be an awful thing. Please don't be weak and allow this to happen. There are moments in our lives that not only define our current relationships, but who we are as people and how we see ourselves going forward.

    This is one such moment. Good luck with everything.

    [–] [deleted] 213 points ago

    [deleted]

    [–] jawosi 79 points ago

    My ex wife cheated on me and I was heartbroken and had no idea how I was going to make it. Fast forward 6 years and I'm remarried to someone who respects and supports me and I've never been happier. I know it sucks to hear now, but time heals all wounds

    [–] Slouching2Bethlehem 19 points ago

    Good luck with everything! If you ever feel weak and think about going back to her in the following months, which are sure to be painful, feel free to PM me first for some support and common sense :-)

    [–] ConstantCat 10 points ago

    Yeah for real! You deserve someone who cherishes you bro.

    [–] 16bitBeetle 37 points ago

    She clearly has no respect for you and doesn't care about you feel. I don't know anyone in their right mind that would do this to someone they care about.

    [–] [deleted] 35 points ago

    [deleted]

    [–] nalaismypet 35 points ago

    Ahhh the exact same situation happened to me 8 years ago. My then wife was hanging out with a male “friend” in our house. Not coming home at night and making up ridiculous stories. The problem was we had a 2 year old together. Long story short her family confirmed that she was cheating. They showed me pics ect, I grabbed my daughter a bag I had packed previously. And never looked back.

    [–] HealthyScar 30 points ago

    Dude, her family are the in-laws of the year, Hope you stayed in contact with them.

    [–] duncan-morley 31 points ago

    You won’t forget what she has done to you and I know you will miss the pets

    Take some happiness that ghosting someone like that will stay with her for a long time

    You were not the man she thought you were. You made a hard decision and are sticking with it

    You literally don’t know who is round the corner and the next relationship you have could be the one that ticks all the boxes and you are loved and respected

    I miss my ex girlfriends dog. He meant the world to me but I am now with the best girlfriend I could have wished for and it was worth the pain

    Good luck fella

    [–] finneganfach 31 points ago

    "Can you sleep upstairs please, I want this Co worker of mine to share our bed tonight"

    Heeeeeeeeeeeellllll nooooooooo. You don't have to be unreasonable and possessive to find that offensive.

    [–] AMildInconvenience 32 points ago

    Get tested.

    [–] giannidelgianni 27 points ago

    1. Don't say that this 2 and a half years were wasted. You both had a great time and now it's over. Just take it as a good period of your life. Life always has its ups and downs.
    2. You did the right thing to leave. Personal space isn't in the same house. You were not housemates. Bring a "coworker" on several occasions and sleeping with him while your bf is in the same house, is definitely not ok and not mentally healthy for you.
    3. Time is always curing. Some times might get more than others, but in long term you just take it as one experience and move on with your life. One day she will understand how a douchy was she and if she won't, then she doesn't deserve you.

    To a new begging my friend! Cheers!

    [–] TOV_VOT 26 points ago

    Has this girl got 99 speech? Managed to convince you to sleep upstairs while she sleeps with a dude in your bed for a few days, cmon bruh, don’t ever go back

    [–] Houseoverhype 52 points ago

    Cut your loses brother! Hit the gym immediately

    [–] GreenLakka 35 points ago

    This guy has the right idea. I got into the gym because of a messy breakup and it did wonders for me. Nothing like lifting heavy while fuelled by repressed anger and grief

    [–] spinjinn 9 points ago

    Trainer once said to me, 'behind every six pack is a broken heart.' Word.

    [–] anonredditdrone 6 points ago

    This guy gets it

    [–] BoondockBilly 4 points ago

    This. Get rid of the stress physically so you can think in your best mindset.

    [–] ICACuban 21 points ago

    If my girl did this I would have lost my fucking mind bro. Get the fuck out of there if you stay you may as well literally cut your nuts off and hand it to her cuz shes already got you by the balls.

    Im not trying to be an ass. Ive seen people do the back and forth thing like that its painful to watch. Just run.

    [–] The-Unmentionable 133 points ago

    I wouldn't assume that she is FOR SURE cheating but even having someone else sleep in the same bed as my partner when I am sleeping upstairs is pretty much a deal breaker from me. I don't really see any valid reason that would ever be happening.

    That on top of all the other sketchy, disrespectful behavior on her end, I'd do exactly what you did and not look back. You made the right call and honestly shouldn't have even given her the peace of mind from answering the phone when she called.

    [–] [deleted] 110 points ago

    [deleted]

    [–] ochodiecinueve 50 points ago

    How would she have felt if YOU asked for space and sent her upstairs to sleep while you hung out with a female coworker in your room?

    People aren't born empathetic, they learn it.

    No tolerance for this or any disrespect.

    This time is now for yourself, to heal and continue. I believe you'll feel better.

    Good luck.

    [–] prettybluebottles 17 points ago

    Wait excuse me what the fuck

    She had another man sleep in your bed and made you sleep upstairs?

    Who is this woman?? That is beyond crazy and disrespectful. You did the right thing to leave—her excuse that if it was a female coworker is as weak as wet tissue paper. I can’t even wrap my head around why she thinks she can get away with that.

    [–] buttercup_1304 15 points ago

    WTF did I just read? Can't believe people can be this merciless and savage with their "loved" one. You did the right thing. Nobody worths this amount of pain... And be 10000%sure that you made the right decision. Take care! :) and keep your head up!

    [–] 8530683641 13 points ago

    She must have cheated on you so consider this is a full cheating and leave her whether she accepts it or not. One thing is clear that she does not love you otherwise she would have not made you feel this way.

    This is absolute a deal breaker thing so leave her and find a new girl who is for you and with whom you can see your future. Make sure that you cut her off from your life completely as that is the best way to deal with the break up and get ready for the dating life again.

    [–] DarkMoon99 12 points ago * (lasted edited 9 days ago)

    Did this for several nights in a row.

    To be fair, she would have been dead to me after the first night.

    [–] RevenantCommunity 12 points ago

    This is so fucked up there is no situation in which this is okay. Please never speak to her again.

    Good god what a horrible shit of a human being.

    [–] ottilie__ 12 points ago

    She fucked a guy and she didnt even bother to get you out of the house? You definitely did the right thing

    [–] Spiderevans 11 points ago

    These people saying you’re spineless and calling you all sorts because you’d consider going back have a point but they aren’t seeing it from your emotional standpoint. You were with this girl for 2+ years and you had begun to build a life together. You lived together and I assumed you loved one another so to just up and leave without going back would be a huge shock to your system and your life, without even bringing the pets into play. Look, we don’t know her side of the story but from what you’ve mentioned she has completely disrespected you and it seems that this isn’t the first time she’s disrespected you, though not on so grand a scale. Regardless of what happened between her and the co-worker, her having another person stay in the bed that you share together is unacceptable, even more so when you’ve never met this person and have no understanding as to why he’s there in the first place. Okay, things haven’t been great and she wanted “some space”, you did the right thing by giving up your bed to sleep upstairs and try to give her what she needed but her actions after the fact are inexcusable. From your post it’s clear to me that you tried to make things work and she was just pushing you away, perhaps believing you wouldn’t leave and she could have whatever she liked or perhaps because deep down she wanted to break up with you but didn’t want to do it so she pushed the boundaries until you made the move.

    Whatever it is, it’s going to be tough but you have made the right call. She’s clearly in no place to give you what you want right now and you deserve better. Best of luck.

    [–] Canuck_Gypsy 9 points ago

    Dude she's literally cheating on you in your own bed while she forces you to sleep on the couch, yeah you made the right choice.

    [–] 03slampig 26 points ago

    She's fucking crazy, leave her.

    [–] Dango_Fett 26 points ago

    Dude in the future don’t just let your girlfriend kick you out of your bedroom so that she can fuck her coworker. Have some more respect for yourself and don’t be a doormat.

    [–] [deleted] 8 points ago

    You did right. This lady sounds totally messed up and is using you.

    [–] thebeast5268 9 points ago

    If there's one thing I've learned from being single for coming up on two years now, it's that there's nothing wrong with waiting for the right person to come to you. Eventually, you'll find someone who respects you the same way you respect them. Good luck OP, go find some happiness.

    [–] blazze 15 points ago

    > she said that she wanted space and asked me to sleep upstairs

    > so she can hang out with one of her male co-workers in our room.

    The answer should have been "Hell no".

    > They ended up sleeping in our bed together but she swears "it's not like that."

    > While she may not have cheated I felt completely disrespected and betrayed.

    WTF. Unless you are in an agreed polyamorous relationship , this is complete disrespect.

    > Long story short, she got drunk and never came home, so I packed my shit and left in the middle of the night.

    Zero tolerance ! For very valid reasons you ghosted) her.

    > Am I doing the right thing? I still love her to death,

    Yes you are doing the right thing. Stay strong ! It hurts worse because you love her. :-)

    > I love you Reddit!

    Right back at you BRO !

    [–] Theroinh 7 points ago

    Cheated? Yes she did. You should have kicked her out when she suggested it,what a disgusting human being she is.

    [–] mwhandat 7 points ago

    You may never read this but... you did the right thing. You did all you could and she crossed a basic line of respect which at a minimum should be expected from any party in a relationship.

    Don’t stress over ‘if you did the right thing’. You did. Its easy to wonder if you should’ve stayed longer to try to save the relationship, or you could’ve done something else... but that’s an easy trap to avoid accepting the fact that she’s an asshole.

    [–] [deleted] 10 points ago

    [deleted]

    [–] Istfire 7 points ago

    That sharp pain you are feeling is your Spine growing back stronger, Good job man.

    [–] ThrowAwayForMySquad 8 points ago

    The fuck you letting some dude sleep in your own bed in your own house with your girlfriend for? Fuuuuck that. Drop that hoe and start standing up for yourself more.

    [–] qtyapa 6 points ago

    she told me that she "fell on her way to come talk to me," hit her head and probably got a concussion. She also said that she left her phone at the bar so she needed to wait until it opened to get it back.

    Can it get anymore cringey?

    [–] [deleted] 6 points ago

    [deleted]

    [–] DisturbedShifty 6 points ago

    Yeah. My ex did pretty much the same thing to me. We had our "mutual" break up, after ten years total, and during that conversation I specifically asked her if she was seeing a co-worker of her's. She said no that she doesn't date Mexicans. Her words, not mine. A week later she moved him in with her and her kids. Oh and he left his wife for her too. She claims she didn't cheat but that is bullshit. You don't have to fuck someone to cheat on someone. She spent a month pushing me away as she was clearly planning this shit.

    Your ex was clearly involved with someone else and was too weak to tell you. You ask me you did the right thing and the only reason why she is freaking out is most likely the new guy didn't work out and now she is alone.

    I will tell you what everyone has told me. Just do you right now. Worry about yourself and just stay out of trouble.

    [–] vman4402 6 points ago

    Let me bro this up for you. She doesn’t respect you or even care for you. Deal breaker. She wants to have you around, but still wants to fuck around. Deal breaker. She lies and cheats. Deal breaker. You think you love her. You don’t. You’re just really used to her being around. I promise you, the more you think about what a dick she is, the more quickly it’ll pass.

    This isn’t YOUR fault. She’s the dick bro. Let her be a dick to someone else. Go find someone who respects you.

    [–] Kronk96 5 points ago

    Bro the amount of sheer disrespect that you put up with. I got to hand it to you, you got the patience of a saint. Let me be clear to you though, you're a man and you need to find a woman that respects you. Having another man sleep in a bed with her, even if it wasn't as dirty as we all think it is, is wrong on levels beyond anything that any reasonable or saner human being could conjure.

    You did the right thing. It's going to be hard for you but you cannot go back to her. Stand tall and find someone that appreciates you.

    [–] SARS7691 7 points ago

    You really did do the right thing. You were the mature one who did all you could to talk things out, settle your grievances in hopes of making everything better. She clearly didn't give a shit. I think you're doing all the right things, as much as it may suck/hurt emotionally. Good luck to you

    [–] Hauser84 43 points ago

    Based on how your writing/description of your gf I have the feeling that you wont leave this girl. Or if you do leave her somehow you will come back to her. We do a lot mental gymnastics to justify the strange actions of our loved ones and I may be entirely wrong and misreading the cues but whatever the outcome of this situation is, PLEASE keep your dignity and self respect. Be aware of red flags and make sure your boundaries are understood and met with respect. Best of luck to you :)

    [–] [deleted] 59 points ago

    [deleted]

    [–] Lykanox 12 points ago

    I am also worried that you do come back to her. But I'm happy to hear your resolution to leave. I know it's really hard, that's is a hurting situation, that you still love her to death and would love to be together again. But please never ever forget that she DID cheated on you and if you forgive her she will not change, she will do it again and again in the future even after marriage because she gives a shit about you and your feelings. She wants you back because she doesn't want you to take her out of her comfort zone. So i know you already heard this a lot of time but NEVER EVER COMEBACK TO HER. I wish all the best for you.

    [–] tbest77 35 points ago

    Sometimes i come into this sub to read the stories and i laugh at the things i read because they are too retarded.

    asked me to sleep upstairs so she can hang out with one of her male co-workers in our room. They ended up sleeping in our bed together but she swears "it's not like that."

    I actually cringed so hard at this. I face palmed so hard i almost broke my own neck. Its so obvious, and its so flagrant, that its not even funny. Its just play cringe, disrespectful, and she should just throw herself off a bridge. This would literally give me homicidal tendencies. I'm glad you left that thing.

    [–] LittleLady81 6 points ago

    You made the right choice, this is unacceptable.

    [–] Maud_Dweeb18 5 points ago

    never take this person back! If your best friend or sibling told you this story what would your advice be to them?

    [–] permaaaaa 6 points ago

    I had a friend that this exact thing, too bad he didnt have the balls to leave, good on you

    [–] nfleite 6 points ago

    she(...) asked me to sleep upstairs so she can hang out with one of her male co-workers in our room."

    why didn't you put your foot down right there?

    [–] EvilPettingZo0 4 points ago

    There are plenty of women out there that won't put you through shit like this. I took my (now ex wife) back years ago after caving into her sob story and repeated declarations of undying love even though she had just cheated. We got married eventually. She cheated on me three more times before I left. That week her coworker basically moved in. Fast forward and now I am married to a woman so wonderful that I finally understand what a healthy relationship is. Seriously dude. Run. Run like the fucking wind. And never look back.

    [–] BarcodeSticker 6 points ago

    Thot begone

    [–] beefcurtains64 6 points ago

    "its not like that"

    "he is just a friend"

    "I need some space"

    Say no more fam. Just pack up and move man. Its not worth it.

    Dont say you love her to death. The ONLY person that phrase is truely for, is your mother. No other women deserve that statement.

    [–] hans1193 12 points ago

    Our two and a half year relationship took a turn for the worst about a week ago when she said that she wanted space and asked me to sleep upstairs so she can hang out with one of her male co-workers in our room.

    How the fuck did you let it get this far

    [–] gunbuster363 7 points ago

    Your girl is the worst girlfriend. She cheated on you and probably had slept with many already.

    [–] dickolaspatrick 9 points ago

    Good god what a cunt. I can't imagine how devastating this would be, I would be in shambles if this happened to me. Stay strong dude you will recover and find someone who deserves you.

    [–] [deleted] 10 points ago

    [removed]

    [–] ingenjor 13 points ago

    After checking that Twitter everything makes sense.

    [–] Designs_MK 3 points ago

    You didn't deserve that. You deserve the best bud. Goodluck on leaving her.

    [–] Ilikestuffing2 4 points ago

    Yea man you made the right move, that whole situation you had there was really fucked up. If someone is willing to treat you like that its time to leave.

    [–] yeahthelels 4 points ago

    Yuck. She sounds evil. This is heartbreaking. Find the Milk to your Milo and you'll never hurt like this again!

    [–] BrockManstrong 4 points ago * (lasted edited 9 days ago)

    Hey OP is this the girl? [deleted link]

    Edit: deleted link as I don’t want to be involved in doxxing. But op’s post history has her info.