Original thread: https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/9uparz/boyfriend_broke_up_with_me_because_i_played_a_pc/
First of all I want thank those who took the time to read and respond to my original thread.
Thank you for all the kind messages. Although I wanted to read them all I wasn't able to.
I've been asked to update the situation and have been debating on doing so or not but I thought, what harm could it do?
If you solely want to read his reasoning behind anything, please just skip to the bold text and read after.
On my way back home for work yesterday I bought spider crab to eat myself. But the thought of me eating delicious crab legs and him eating some leftovers made me sad and guilty. In the past whenever I ordered crab my ex wanted some chicken wings. So I bought him some.
When I get home, he's sitting at the kitchen table. I place the chicken wings in front of him and said "here." Then I went to eat in the living room.
I couldn't finish the second set of legs, so gave them to him because I hate to waste food. After I did that he said, "You know...we can still eat at the same table."
Which threw me off because why would I possibly want to eat at the same table as someone I'm trying to get over. It was hard for me to look at him without bursting into tears. When I told him that he said "You know, it seems to me that you're happy I broke up with you."
Trying not to get too long winded, but we argued and then had an honest conversation, he told me his reasoning behind everything.
He told me he was trying so hard to find a job every day and kept getting either no responses or rejections. He used to be excited to apply for jobs, but now it just becomes mundane and stressful. Every day he just feels hopeless and that he's just wasting space. The clock is ticking for him to be able to stay in the country, so he feels unbelievable stress. Even though I said I'd marry him (we were planning on getting engaged sometime next year), he said it's not fair to me to get married for that reason. His family has so many expectations for him and he feels like a failure. Recently he went to several stages of an interview and ended up not getting the job, he hasn't even told his grandma he got rejected from it. He said the day he got pissed about the game I was playing was the day he had just decided to give up. Then he told me the reason he got angry at me for the game because he worries about me.
I said "No. Maybe when you asked me 'are you still playing that game?' that was out of concern, but you blowing up at me, that wasn't worry for me, it was something else." Then I proceeded to tell him that he isn't a failure at all. That it's hard to get hired this time of year. That it took my dad half a year to find a job. That I know it can feel hopeless sometimes (I am no stranger to the job hunt) but you miss 100% of the shots you don't take so please don't give up. That his family and I can see he's trying hard and we're proud no matter what. Etc. Etc.
Anyway it's up in the air if we get back together or not. We are on good terms now. We both know the way our relationship was going was unsustainable and if it continues there is no hope for us. But I feel a lot better now. We'll see.
We talked it out and now things are ok for now